93. Why Do Others Have What I Long For? Finding Peace in Delayed Dreams and God's Love

Have you ever looked around and felt like you didn’t belong—even in spaces where you’ve shown up faithfully? In this heartfelt and vulnerable episode, I share my personal journey of wrestling with comparison, grief, delayed dreams, and the quiet question many of us ask:
“Why would God show me what I’ll never have?”

Through real-life reflection and biblical insight, I explore how God lovingly reveals the places in us that still need healing—not to punish us, but to draw us closer to His love. Whether you’re navigating delayed dreams, childhood wounds, or that ache to feel truly seen and supported, this episode is for you.

You are not too late. You are not too broken. And you are not disqualified.

⸻

Scriptures Referenced:

Psalm 139:1–2 (NIV)
You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

Isaiah 61:3 (NIV)
…and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of joy instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

John 4:29 (NIV)
“Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did.
Could this be the Messiah?”

⸻

In This Episode, You’ll Hear:
• A deeply personal story of feeling unseen and out of place in church
• The cost of walking away from a life of worldly success to follow Christ
• Honest reflections on grief, loss, and spiritual disappointment
• A healing perspective on comparison and unmet desires
• God’s invitation to deeper love and healing
• A prayer for anyone feeling like an outsider in their own story

⸻

Reflection Question:
What is God showing you—not to hurt you, but to heal you?

⸻

Take This With You:
“God is not showing you what you’ll never have. He’s showing you where you still need to be loved.”

⸻

Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.
If this message touched you, please leave a review and subscribe to Curious for Christ so we can keep growing this community of truth-seekers, dreamers, and Christ-followers.

With love and light,

Alexandra

Thanks for listening! Your support means the world. Join our Curious for Christ Facebook Group and become an Insider for weekly inspiration and encouragement on your faith journey.

Want to go deeper? Let's connect—set up a FREE Discovery Call today. See you next time!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hi, friend, and welcome back toCurious for Christ.
Today's episode is tender.
It's actually personal, and it'ssomething I think so many of us
feel.
Even if we rarely say it outloud, why would God show me
something I'll never have?
That's a question that camestraight from my own heart,

(00:21):
right in the middle of a Sundayservice.
I was sitting in churchsurrounded by beautiful
families, some of which I didnot recognize.
Kids were laughing with theirgrandparents and extended
families, couples who seemedperfectly in sync.
And then there's that woman thatpassed by who looked like the
version of me I always imaginedI'd be, and I couldn't help it.

(00:46):
I felt out of place.
I've been in this church foryears, years.
And yet, if I'm honest, I feltlike I didn't belong.
Like maybe I never really had.
Can you relate?
Stick with me, my friend,because God showed me something
that just might change the wayyou see it too.

(01:13):
Welcome to Curious For Christ.
Do you ever find yourself lying,awake at night, wondering about
God's plan for your life?
Maybe you wake up with bigdreams, but feel unsure where to
start or what your next stepshould be.
If you're curious aboutexploring your faith and finding
purpose, then you've come to theright place.

(01:33):
Hi, I'm Alexandra.
I too felt lost, unsure of thedirection my life was leaking.
I yearned or understand mypurpose and have someone guide
me.
But I kept telling myself I wastoo busy.
The timing wasn't right, and mylack of clarity prevented me
from being consistent until Ifound Christ.

(01:54):
He brought peace into my lifeand revealed the way to find
purpose by anchoring myself.
In him.
In this podcast, we'll journeytogether exploring the Bible to
gain a deeper understanding ofhim and cultivate your own
personal relationship withChrist.
So open up your Bible, put inthose earbuds and listen up

(02:15):
because God is speaking to you.
He's making everything new andyou don't wanna miss it.
Let's get started.
Psalm 1 39 verses one throughtwo says, you have searched me

(02:36):
Lord, and you know me.
You know when I sit and when Irise, you perceive my thoughts
from afar, and yet even knowingthat I still wrestle.
I've lived a life full ofcontrasts.
Before I followed Jesus andafter I moved to the United
States, I dated a man who ran asuccessful art business.

(03:01):
We traveled, we visitedcelebrity homes.
I was immersed in that world fora while.
And then I walked away from it,not because it wasn't appealing,
but because I was studying theBible at the time and I felt
that God was calling me.
He was calling me home.

(03:22):
And so I chose a new life withGod, and then I met and married
a wonderful man, and then Icontinued following Christ just
the way I knew it and learningand growing in him.
But even now, after two decades,I realize I need to revisit that

(03:44):
entire story over and overbecause healing isn't just a
one-time decision.
It's a journey and it is myresponsibility.
I need to walk that walk of whatI need to heal in my heart with
God.
And here's the truth.

(04:05):
I rarely speak out loud.
I lost my mother very young thatI've shared on the podcast and
that pain.
Runs really deep, and for yearsI tried to avoid it or I would
say I wasn't ready to meetmyself in that pain.

(04:27):
But growing up it left mefeeling dirty and seeing like I
wasn't worth staying for, Iwasn't worth living for.
And even now as a grown woman, amother, a wife, podcast, a
realtor, so many hats.
There are still moments I feellike an orphan in this world

(04:49):
trying to belong.
Trying not to compare.
Trying not to crumble under theegg.
I hide so well.
Can you relate?
And sometimes I get angry withGod.
Why after all that I'vesurrendered, does he keep
showing me images of what Idon't have and never will?

(05:11):
I don't have grandparents for mychildren.
They passed long ago.
And I'm getting older, and yes,I'm closer to God than I ever
been, and I feel his love Butthen I have these emotions,
these strong feelings that keepreappearing in the church.

(05:31):
The same church that I've beento for two decades and around
me.
I see families that seem wholeand for me, dreams that feel
delayed and delayed and delayedlike acting or writing or
walking in purpose.
Why light a fire in my heart andmake me wait decades to see it

(05:53):
burn?
And then God whispered somethingto me, something that unraveled
the lie and brought healingstraight to my heart.
But to be able to hear it, I hadto bring all my emotions raw,
just like David in the Psalms tohim.
And this is a thought that Ihad.

(06:14):
I'm not showing you.
What you'll never have.
I'm showing you where you stillneed to be loved.
And that hit me so hard.
It stopped me in my track and itmoved me because what if
comparison isn't punishment butinvitation?

(06:35):
What if God is pulling us intodeeper intimacy?
He's inviting us to bring himthe wounds, not just the
polished dreams or the Sundaybest prayers or the everyday
best prayers, but the ache, thelonging, the fear of being left
out, not good enough orpermanently behind.

(06:56):
He sees all of that and hedoesn't flinch.
Isaiah 61 verse three says, Godgives us a crown of beauty for
ashes, the oil of joy formourning, and a garment of
praise for a spirit of despair.
What a promise.
So don't run away from thepainful relationships, family,

(07:21):
church, or even briefinteractions because all of
those can be mirrors.
They reveal where healing stillneeds to go deeper and that's
not something to be ashamed of.
So don't run away from it.
Because actually, that's exactlywhere Jesus meets us.
That's where resurrectionstarts.

(07:44):
So no, I don't have all theanswers, but here's what I know.
You are not alone.
You are not too late, you arenot disqualified by your wounds,
and you are certainly notoverlooked by God.
So here's a reflection questionfor you.
What is God showing you today?

(08:04):
Not to hurt you, but to healyou.
Let's pray together.
Father, you see every egg wecarry the longing to belong, the
dreams that feel forgotten.
The childhood wounds that stillspeak loudly.
Would you meet us in thoseplaces?

(08:24):
Not with shame, but with love?
Remind us that you haven'tabandoned us.
You are writing a beautifulstory and it's not over yet.
Help us trust you.
Even here in Jesus' name I pray.
Amen.
So that is it for today, myfriend.
If this episode touched you,would you do me a favor and

(08:46):
share it with someone who mightneed it to?
And if you haven't alreadysubscribe to the show.
We are building a communitythat's real healing and always
pointing back to Jesus.
You don't have to pretend to beokay in the presence of God.
He already knows and he'salready there.
Until next time, stay curious.

(09:06):
Bring your full self to ChristWounded Whole and everything in
between.
Hi, I hope you enjoy today'sepisode.
If so, would you like to take 30seconds and share it with a
friend who may also strugglewith knowing God and his purpose

(09:29):
for their life?
Also, leave a review on ApplePodcasts and let me know what
topics you'd like to hear aboutin the future.
Your voice matters.
I'll meet you back next Friday.
For another episode.