August 18, 2025 • 29 mins
Cut The Tie Podcast with Iesha Westmoreland
What if the key to your business growth isn’t a new marketing tactic, but learning how to truly communicate? In this episode, Thomas Helfrich talks with Iesha Westmoreland, a conflict resolution and communication specialist who helps businesses bridge communication gaps between leaders, employees, and customers.
From being groomed for mindful speech at a young age to professionally coaching since 2015, Iesha shares how getting out of her own way and embracing mindfulness transformed her business. She also explains why knowing your employees on a personal level can be the fastest route to stronger teams and better results.
About Iesha Westmoreland:
Based in Atlanta, Georgia, and serving clients worldwide, Iesha Westmoreland is a conflict resolution specialist, communication coach, freelance journalist, and writer. She helps employers and employees bridge communication gaps, improve customer interactions, and prepare for high-stakes conversations and interviews. With decades of informal and formal experience—including hands-on work across multiple industries—she brings a uniquely practical and empathetic approach to building confidence and connection in the workplace.
In this episode, Thomas and Iesha discuss:
- Getting out of your own way
How letting go of self-doubt and overthinking allowed Iesha to take bigger risks and move her business forward. - Early lessons in mindful speech
The guidance from her aunt taught her to slow down, choose words carefully, and see situations from multiple angles. - Mindfulness as a business advantage
Why being fully present in conversations can prevent conflict, build trust, and strengthen relationships. - Turning challenges into tools
How past career pivots and high-pressure situations sharpened her ability to resolve conflicts with empathy. - The power of knowing your employees
Why understanding personal situations, learning styles, and communication preferences can improve both morale and results.
Key Takeaways:
- Mindfulness fuels business growth
Staying present and aware helps you pivot, adapt, and communicate effectively. - Critiques aren’t personal—they’re fuel
Learning to accept and apply constructive criticism can be transformative. - The epiphany moment matters
Hold onto the moment of clarity that sparked your change—it can guide you through challenges. - Employee relationships drive results
Knowing your team beyond their job title can improve performance and retention. - Life’s lessons are business assets
Personal experiences, good or bad, can make you a stronger professional if you use them wisely.
Connect with Iesha Westmoreland:
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/uniquelyiesha/
Connect with Thomas Helfrich:
🐦 Twitter: https://twitter.com/thelfrich
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/cutthetie
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thomashelfrich/
🌐 Website: https://www.cutthetie.com
📧 Email: t@instantlyrelevant.com
🚀 InstantlyRelevant.com: https://www.instantlyrelevant.com
Serious about LinkedIn Lead Generation? Stop Guessing what to do on LinkedIn and ignite revenue from relevance with Instantly Relevant Lead System
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Cut the Tie podcast.
Hi, I'm your host, thomasHelfrich.
I am on a mission to help youcut the tie to whatever it is
holding you back in life fromsuccess, and the success is
going to be defined by you andno one else.
Today, I'm joined by Aisha.
How are you, aisha?
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Hello, hello, how are you?
I'm fabulous.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
My pleasure.
You're actually the secondAisha I've had on.
The first one was nine yearsold.
Oh, how cute.
Reads books on a podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
That's funny.
The first Aisha.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
I didn't meet until I was nine.
It's all coming together.
The universe is full circlemoments.
Thank you for coming on.
Take a moment to introduceyourself and what it is you do.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Yes, my name is Aisha Westmoreland.
I'm based out of Atlanta,georgia, but I'm available
worldwide.
I am a conflict resolutionspecialist and communication
specialist.
I am also a freelancejournalist and writer and with
my conflict resolution andcommunication specialties, I
(01:03):
focus on helping employers andemployees bridge the gap of any
communication issues and thingson how they can connect with
their customers better interviewpreparation basically anything
you need that involves speaking.
I help you with confidence.
How did you get into that?
(01:23):
Well, you know, as most people,they can't shut up, and I'm one
of them and I was alwaystalking, talking, talking and
one day I just built a bit abrand on it.
I was always giving peopleadvice and things like that.
(01:43):
So I said you know, I have tostart making money out of this.
I can't give all these gems outfor free, you know.
So I have to find some way thatI can connect to the masses and
put it on a scale that I wouldbe comfortable with and know
that I'm capable of sharing.
So I just took that and ranwith it in any direction.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
I could, how long ago did you start your practice?
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Well, professionally, I started, let's say, in around
2015.
But really I have beeneducating myself and getting you
know regular, collegiate andeducational education from
(02:36):
different seminars that theymight have.
I've done my own case studies.
I did my own case studiesbefore I was even realizing I
was doing my case studies forthis career.
So I would have to say I havebeen in the communications
business for probably about 30years now.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
You bridged into what you've become, so that's great.
Before we get into your journeya little bit and some of the
metaphoric ties you've had tokind of cut along the way to get
to there, to get to yoursuccess, first define what
success means for you.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
And that was a big one.
Some days I'm still thinking,I'm searching, know, reasoning
and stuff like that.
But the success to me is trulyabout accomplishments, whether
it's helping people on apersonal level or professional
level.
Just knowing that I know whatto help you with and help to
(03:45):
bridge that gap, I think that'sthe best part of the success.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
It evolves over time for everybody.
Oh, absolutely, you know andtalk about your journey a little
bit and maybe the biggest tieyou've had to cut to achieve
that success be the biggest tieyou've had to cut to achieve
that success I would say gettingout of my own way.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
I had to really accept a lot of criticism.
I had to accept a lot ofcritiquing.
I had to learn how to pivot mybusiness because at first, you
know, it was just, in a sense,word vomit on my website.
It was just like, yeah, I cando this, this, this, this and
(04:33):
this, but there was no structure, there was no decor not decor,
because I always have decor, butI would say there was
definitely gaps in what I wasputting on my website and what I
was offering.
(04:54):
So I had to actually sit thereand learn what did I want to do?
How can I do this?
How can I help?
Where do I need to go?
Things like that, what rooms doI need to be in that would
allow me to get to the level ofsuccess that I want?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
I like that and do you remember kind of the moment
you realized that?
Speaker 2 (05:30):
you realize that I would say, the moment I realized
that was the moment I realizedwhat I was actually going to do
as far as communication andspeaking and things like that.
Because, taking it back to whenI was younger and I promise I
won't go on a rant taking itback to when I was younger and I
promise I won't go on a rant myaunt would always tell me you
(05:55):
know, be careful what you say.
You know, I would always wantto be at the house talking slang
and doing all this and justsaying whatever I wanted.
And my aunt was like no, no, no, no.
You have to make sure thatyou're speaking to the person
that you want to in the correctmanner.
And I was just like why I'mtalking to my aunt at the house?
Why can't I?
(06:17):
We're making spaghetti, whycan't I just say ain't, and
stuff like that?
And she's like no, becausethere's going to come a time
where you're not even going tothink about it and those words
are just going to flow andthey're going to flow in the
wrong places.
It's going to mess you up.
So you have to be mindful ofwhat you say, who you're saying
(06:39):
it to, where you're saying it ina room full of you know, and
that's when I realized that Iwas really being groomed for
communications and coaching andteaching people how to speak my
whole life because it was doneto me, and so I just
inadvertently just pivoted andsaid, okay, this is what I have
(07:03):
to do, and it made it so mucheasier once I realized that.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Nice.
It's one thing to know yoursuccess, what you define it as,
it's another to know the momentand what you needed to go do it.
But the how is where I thinkthe rower kind of meets the road
.
So how have you made thishappen?
What's been the kind oftactical steps or things you
needed to do to take a steptowards cutting that tie?
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Mindfulness.
I had to really go in, changeover my website, change my
business plan, change the way Iwas talking to people.
I really just had to be mindfulof every situation and aspect
of my life to make sure I wasmaking my best moves for the
(07:52):
next move, because the how ischanging, how you perceive
things or assign value to thingsor give meaning.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
It means a lot, and without it you're never going to
get out of your own way.
You'll just keep repeating andmake excuses.
Often people become the victimof always or their entitlement
becomes something that's andonce you've escaped it, it's
just so clear what the issue is.
Um, you'll have now showsomeone a picture or something
(08:28):
they can, but they won't see ohyes, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
It's beyond eye awakening, you know like.
So really sit there and havethat aha moment and you really
stepped outside of your box.
It just.
It makes everything so muchconvenient, easier and pivotal
in everything that you do inlife.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
It does.
And it's like I did a.
I did a bunch of reading onhappiness a couple years ago and
it and I'm sorry on mindfulnessa few years ago and in some of
the science behind it, how itactually can heal and stuff, and
I normally just kind of realizethat stuff.
I'm like you know what, let mejust go open cup kind of idea
into this and I was like, oh,interesting enough, right,
(09:14):
mindfulness was studied forthousands of years.
That's what they did.
Like you know, there wasn'tlike Nintendos, Xboxes and
mobile phones and social mediato distract them.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
They had a book or two that they all shared.
Look at monks and things likethat.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
It's how fast we dismiss like millennial
millennium sorry, millennium oftime of people studying the idea
of mindfulness and how itaffects human health and
behavior and your energy and allthe other things around it.
And it's amazing how quickly wedismissed that.
Old time People weren't, likeyou know, dumber back then, they
(09:50):
just had different.
They were probably actuallymore thoughtful and smarter to
some degree, because that's allthey had in their brains to
think and they had less time onearth to do it, and so it's
unbelievable to me.
So like I was like all right,you know, it's kind of like you
may not believe in the Bible,but it's been around for 2000
plus years and it's influencedlots of people.
You should at least considerwhat's written in it because it
(10:11):
has influence.
So that mindfulness piece Ithink is is beautiful because
the little bit you might get outof that is a major win on the
other end of it and when you'reon the other side of it and when
you're on the other side of ityou can look back and see that
person could use a little ofthat training.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Oh, yes, definitely.
I love that Definitely.
So I appreciate you sharing thatwith everyone, since maybe
you've been down this journeyand you've done some steps in
mindfulness.
What's been the impact for you,your business, your family?
(10:44):
No-transcript.
It really helps in aspects ofyour life and everybody is going
to hit different, you know,with their journey of you know,
(11:09):
mindfulness, self-awareness,finding their purpose in life.
Everybody has their own journey,but I say, once you really
grasp the whole thought of thatinitial epiphany moment, that's
what counts.
Think of how you felt in thatmoment.
(11:30):
You know, if you have tomeditate, if you have to say
affirmations to keep you in thatmode, then I suggest you do it,
because it's so easy to say, ohokay, that's what it is, but
then go back down into thatrabbit hole of what you were
before you know.
So it's so important that youjust focus on that epiphany
(11:57):
moment of what really led youinto that matter, into that
situation and how you felt, andjust hold on to that feeling,
because that feeling is going tocarry you throughout your
success and it's going to giveyou the fuel that you need.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
I like that.
You're probably pretty good atwhat you do.
It sounds like All right.
So you have some challengingquestions.
No, I'm just kidding.
What are you most grateful forin your life right now?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I am most grateful for honestly, it's gonna sound
crazy, but I am most gratefulfor my lessons and blessings in
life, because everything that Iwent through, whether it was
good or bad, has led me to thiscareer and doing what I love and
(12:56):
being able to live in my wholetrue, authentic self
unapologetically.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
I like that.
That's pretty, I mean, that'ssimple and to the point.
What you're grateful for isoften a reflection of where you
are in your life too.
So some people may be oh, I'mso grateful, I have money.
You're like no, I'm gratefulfor some other stuff.
Absolutely, Absolutely gratefulfor some other stuff.
Absolutely.
I am curious when you're, youknow, when you're given this
(13:27):
mindset, what kind of advice orhow has your advice changed to
your customers?
Speaker 2 (13:36):
It's funny.
Honestly, it hasn't changedthat much because I'm always
better at giving other peopleadvice than what I'm dealing
with and what I should be doingfor myself.
You know, it's always easier.
Helping someone else done inlife or have experienced in life
(14:02):
always makes me one step betterfor my customers and for my
clients, because I built a newsense of education and
understanding around problemsthat they are having.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
You know it's a.
This often is the case, right,you realize things that you, you
know, do what I say, not what Ido in your own life, and quite
for 15 years.
I'm just finally doing it.
So, as somebody who wasentrepreneurial podcast, it
gives lots of advice.
I like it.
My own businesses I'm not likeyou.
(14:36):
Do that as well.
Amazing how that works.
All right, a couple rapid firesfor you.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
You know what's the best business advice you've ever
received the best businessadvice that I have received
would probably be to pivot don'tbe afraid of the critiques, of
the criticism, because it's onlygoing to make your business
better.
I used to be so bad atreceiving criticism Like I would
(15:09):
fly off the handle.
Not good for a conflictresolution specialist now, which
is why I worked on it.
But I just thought you know, oh, I know what I'm doing, my way
is the best way.
It's been working for me allthese years.
But then when you look at it inhindsight and where you want to
(15:30):
be, you're like how close areyou to getting to that point and
is that something that'shindering you?
So I had to learn to step back.
Look at the critiques, look atthe criticism.
Don't take it as a personalattack on me personally.
Just think of it as somebodycoming in to give you advice on
(15:54):
how to make yourself better.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
I like that.
It's practical, it works.
A, it's practical, it works.
I'm not adding much value toyour statements because most of
the time I feel like I have tocarry on some stuff.
I just got to just ask youquestions, and everyone
listening can just ignore me andhear your answers.
Who gives you inspiration,though?
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Whew, Inspiration.
I would have to say a fewpeople.
My aunt that used to always nagme about my communication.
She inspired me a lot becauseshe was very business savvy.
You know, she was always at theoffice every day.
(16:37):
I would go into work with her,see how she would, you know,
interact with the clients andher colleagues and stuff like
that, and it always wassomething I wanted to emulate.
I was always like, wow, likethis is a business woman, this
is a business setting, Like Iwant to do this.
So my aunt was definitely a hugepivotal factor or you know
(17:02):
anything, any factor in my lifeand in my success in my careers.
Another inspiration would haveto be Miss Kimora Lee Simmons,
the owner of Baby Fat, and Ijust always loved her.
I always loved strong, powerfulbusinesswoman and so I always
(17:27):
saw something in some sort ofbusiness aspect from a lot of
successful businesswoman that Iwanted to carry with me because
I felt like, okay, that'ssomething good, that's something
that they're doing right andit's something that I would like
to have in me also.
So I would say my aunt andKamora Lee would be the two
(17:53):
people that were hugeinspirations in my success.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
If you had a must-recommended book that
everyone should read, what is it?
If you had a must-recommendedbook that everyone should read.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
What is it?
Again, going back to Kamora LeeSimmons, she has a book called
Fabulosity what it Is and how toGet it and that book came out
when I was, I want to say,around 13.
I have read it probably aboutfive times.
I just love the book.
(18:27):
I think it's a great book for ayoung woman that's coming into
their own, a woman that isstriving for success.
Men too it is unisex, it can goboth ways, but that book is
definitely a great read on howyou can be a great business
professional, how you canovercome adversities and pretty
(18:51):
much everything that life canthrow at you.
It helps you on you know fromher perspective, on how she got
through it, and it'll let youreflect on yourself a lot as
well you know you're gonna makeme have to go look this up now,
darn it.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
And another one audible list.
I carry a very deep audiblelist because this podcast, but
I've never heard that one, andso that that always intrigued me
quite a bit when I hear a newone.
So thank you for sharing that.
If you could go back in time toany point in your life, any
timeline choice, when would yougo back?
What would you do differently?
Speaker 2 (19:32):
People ask me this question a lot, because you
always hear people oh, I wish Icould be 16 again.
Oh, I wish I can be 18 again.
I want to go back to being likethree or four again.
Just let me redo everything.
You know, I feel like I havemade a lot of crazy decisions in
(19:55):
my life that could, if I didn'tdo them, I could have been
successful a lot faster.
Okay, so yeah, I woulddefinitely go back to being four
and redoing it.
Yeah, just give me a completereset.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
I'd say there's two types of answers.
That's one and another was aguy said I wish I would have
ordered a latte instead of ablack coffee.
I would like so that instead ofa black coffee, I would lie.
So that's the guy living in themoment right there.
That's like Ted Lasso stuffright there.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Talk about the simple things in life.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
I'm going to correct that.
Right after this podcast,there's no regrets.
Guy right there, you, you'relike all right, we're going to
implode this life.
I know kids are gone, sorry,we're going back this life.
I know kids are gone, sorrywe're going back.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Okay, let's not give you control the time machine.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
I'm gonna yeah, no, don't get me, I'm gonna go back
to the dinosaur if I get it.
I would like go back and seethat.
As long as, like I'm not likeI'm not actually there, I'm just
observing I would, that wouldbe so yeah, like you're in a
bubble imagine if you go backthere actually just talking and
you're like, whoa, he's right,um, you would know that this
world is a simulation at thatpoint, like even the dinosaur
(21:11):
spoke English.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
So weird, right?
Yeah, like you just asked thedinosaur for a latte instead of
a black coffee in theory.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Yeah, it's down there .
What is that thing?
Right, let's eat that.
If there's a question I shouldhave asked you today, but I
didn't.
What would that question havebeen and how would you have
answered it?
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Oh, now that one is a good one, juicer.
Yes, very that one might haveto make me think.
Yes, very that one might haveto make me think.
I would say, if I am such agreat conflict resolution
(21:59):
specialist, what makes me sogreat and how can I feel that I
can fill that greatness?
Speaker 1 (22:08):
I mean, I was going to ask that next, but since we
got, Let me help you out here.
Lay it on me, let's hear it.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Yes, like I said, I have been through a lot of
trials, tribulations, situations, experiences.
I have.
There is probably not asituation in life that I haven't
been through and if I haven'tbeen through it, I know close
friends and family that havebeen through it and I've helped
(22:39):
them too.
So, just basically, I havebuilt a life on learning people,
learning situations, learningdifferent environments and
things like that, so that waythere I can diffuse conflict in
the best possible nature to makeit positive and proactive for
(23:02):
both sides in any dimension thatyou can think of.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
That's a pretty good answer.
I think you've practiced that.
No, I told you, I'm just good,I just just bullied through.
These lips just comes out and Iwake up on the floor.
I'm like I black out.
How does somebody or actuallystart with now, how does
somebody I don't want somebodywho specifically should get
(23:32):
ahold of you, and how do they dothat?
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Um, I feel like anyone running a business,
owning a business, um, in a worksituation where they have some
sort of communication deficit,have some sort of communication
deficit, there's lines that aregetting crossed because I feel
like, with the business ownersand business managers, people
are so intrigued and infatuatedwith the idea of wanting to be
(24:09):
rich, wanting to be successful,wanting to have a business that
everyone knows about, withoutactually doing the minor details
that could get you there faster, which is know your employees.
Don't just stick any employeein a position just to have that
spot filled.
(24:30):
Have that spot filled.
Know the person you know.
Spend time, I would say whenyou, when an employer or manager
, whatever hires an employee,spend at least a day, a half a
day, call it an orientationexperience, but really sit down
(24:50):
and learn your employee.
Ask them questions, you know,do you have kids?
Do you have this?
Ask them things that are goingon in their life, because when
they have certain situationsthat come up, you know you can
be mindful to it.
Oh yeah, I know they have this,this, this and this going on.
(25:13):
Mindful to it Like, oh yeah, Iknow they have this, this, this
and this going on, not just youknow if you have an employee
that's going to call out andyou're ready to fire them
because they call out.
No, you know that they haveprior obligations.
They have certain situationsthat they're working through in
their personal life and youshould be mindful to that.
Every employee wants to knowthat they are valued in their
(25:38):
job, in their career, in theirposition.
You know Every employee doesn'twant to just come into work,
punch a time clock and, you know, get screamed at.
You know, if the person doesn'tknow how to you know, build
(25:58):
this showpiece, how do they know?
Because you didn't ask them,you just told them to do it.
You need to know.
Okay, they have hands-onexperience, they're a hands-on
learner.
They need to know this.
They need to know that.
You need to know how youremployees learn.
You need to know how youremployees perceive you.
(26:20):
You need to know how youremployees feel about your
customers Things like that inorder to make your business grow
to the potential that you wantit to grow.
And if you don't do that, thenyou're just having spot fillers.
That's gonna either throw yourbusiness down the tubes or
(26:41):
you're gonna throw your businessdown the tubes because you're
not making that effort to seewhere those gaps lie.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Is there a specific business type that really works
well for you, like you reallyhelp the best?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
No, I help all businesses in the same aspect,
and why I can do that is becauseI have held numerous, numerous
job positions throughout mycareer.
I've held every position in therestaurant industry.
I've worked in warehouse, I'veworked in you know anything, you
(27:20):
name it.
I have worked there, so I knowthe dynamics between what bosses
expect, what bosses want andhow the employees feel, what the
employees can do, how theyperceive the bosses in the job,
and it's all a melting effectthat goes into everything.
(27:42):
Everything can be from everybusiness aspect.
It can all be taken, no matterwhat industry you are.
It just depends on the person.
Everyone is unique, so you justwant to hone into what makes
them unique and how can you getthe best possible outcome for
both of you?
Speaker 1 (28:05):
That's nice, you rock .
Thank you, shep, for coming ontoday.
I appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Thank you.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
As anyone from Atlanta you know, you got to
give them deference.
We're all in this giant city inthe middle of nowhere.
Yes, yes why couldn't we move inlike an hour from the city?
Why couldn't we go like justdown a little south?
There's like there's nothing,there's like a river or
something.
People got on, some trainscrossed and we're like, hey,
let's put it here Like, could wego on a little like?
So we're like two hours fromDestin and two hours from the
(28:34):
floor.
Could we like go on a littlecloser to the beaches?
Yeah, I'm going back and doinglike no, no, no, Terminus isn't
going here, it's going downthere.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
That probably won't make the floor.
We'll cut the floor, but anyway, appreciate you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Thank you.
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Listen, reach out to Aisha, get out there If you have
these challenges, you know,have a conversation with her.
And then, if you just listenfor the first time I hope it's
the first of many, and if you'vebeen here before, thanks for
coming back Get out there.
Go cut a tie to somethingholding you back.
Define that success in yourterms.
Welcome to Cut the Tie podcast.
Hi, I'm your host, thomasHelfrich.
I am on a mission to help youcut the tie to whatever it is
holding you back in life fromsuccess, and the success is
going to be defined by you andno one else.
Today, I'm joined by Aisha.
How are you, aisha?
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Hello, hello, how are you?
I'm fabulous.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
My pleasure.
You're actually the secondAisha I've had on.
The first one was nine yearsold.
Oh, how cute.
Reads books on a podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
That's funny.
The first Aisha.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
I didn't meet until I was nine.
It's all coming together.
The universe is full circlemoments.
Thank you for coming on.
Take a moment to introduceyourself and what it is you do.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Yes, my name is Aisha Westmoreland.
I'm based out of Atlanta,georgia, but I'm available
worldwide.
I am a conflict resolutionspecialist and communication
specialist.
I am also a freelancejournalist and writer and with
my conflict resolution andcommunication specialties, I
(01:03):
focus on helping employers andemployees bridge the gap of any
communication issues and thingson how they can connect with
their customers better interviewpreparation basically anything
you need that involves speaking.
I help you with confidence.
How did you get into that?
(01:23):
Well, you know, as most people,they can't shut up, and I'm one
of them and I was alwaystalking, talking, talking and
one day I just built a bit abrand on it.
I was always giving peopleadvice and things like that.
(01:43):
So I said you know, I have tostart making money out of this.
I can't give all these gems outfor free, you know.
So I have to find some way thatI can connect to the masses and
put it on a scale that I wouldbe comfortable with and know
that I'm capable of sharing.
So I just took that and ranwith it in any direction.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
I could, how long ago did you start your practice?
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Well, professionally, I started, let's say, in around
2015.
But really I have beeneducating myself and getting you
know regular, collegiate andeducational education from
(02:36):
different seminars that theymight have.
I've done my own case studies.
I did my own case studiesbefore I was even realizing I
was doing my case studies forthis career.
So I would have to say I havebeen in the communications
business for probably about 30years now.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
You bridged into what you've become, so that's great.
Before we get into your journeya little bit and some of the
metaphoric ties you've had tokind of cut along the way to get
to there, to get to yoursuccess, first define what
success means for you.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
And that was a big one.
Some days I'm still thinking,I'm searching, know, reasoning
and stuff like that.
But the success to me is trulyabout accomplishments, whether
it's helping people on apersonal level or professional
level.
Just knowing that I know whatto help you with and help to
(03:45):
bridge that gap, I think that'sthe best part of the success.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
It evolves over time for everybody.
Oh, absolutely, you know andtalk about your journey a little
bit and maybe the biggest tieyou've had to cut to achieve
that success be the biggest tieyou've had to cut to achieve
that success I would say gettingout of my own way.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
I had to really accept a lot of criticism.
I had to accept a lot ofcritiquing.
I had to learn how to pivot mybusiness because at first, you
know, it was just, in a sense,word vomit on my website.
It was just like, yeah, I cando this, this, this, this and
(04:33):
this, but there was no structure, there was no decor not decor,
because I always have decor, butI would say there was
definitely gaps in what I wasputting on my website and what I
was offering.
(04:54):
So I had to actually sit thereand learn what did I want to do?
How can I do this?
How can I help?
Where do I need to go?
Things like that, what rooms doI need to be in that would
allow me to get to the level ofsuccess that I want?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
I like that and do you remember kind of the moment
you realized that?
Speaker 2 (05:30):
you realize that I would say, the moment I realized
that was the moment I realizedwhat I was actually going to do
as far as communication andspeaking and things like that.
Because, taking it back to whenI was younger and I promise I
won't go on a rant taking itback to when I was younger and I
promise I won't go on a rant myaunt would always tell me you
(05:55):
know, be careful what you say.
You know, I would always wantto be at the house talking slang
and doing all this and justsaying whatever I wanted.
And my aunt was like no, no, no, no.
You have to make sure thatyou're speaking to the person
that you want to in the correctmanner.
And I was just like why I'mtalking to my aunt at the house?
Why can't I?
(06:17):
We're making spaghetti, whycan't I just say ain't, and
stuff like that?
And she's like no, becausethere's going to come a time
where you're not even going tothink about it and those words
are just going to flow andthey're going to flow in the
wrong places.
It's going to mess you up.
So you have to be mindful ofwhat you say, who you're saying
(06:39):
it to, where you're saying it ina room full of you know, and
that's when I realized that Iwas really being groomed for
communications and coaching andteaching people how to speak my
whole life because it was doneto me, and so I just
inadvertently just pivoted andsaid, okay, this is what I have
(07:03):
to do, and it made it so mucheasier once I realized that.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Nice.
It's one thing to know yoursuccess, what you define it as,
it's another to know the momentand what you needed to go do it.
But the how is where I thinkthe rower kind of meets the road
.
So how have you made thishappen?
What's been the kind oftactical steps or things you
needed to do to take a steptowards cutting that tie?
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Mindfulness.
I had to really go in, changeover my website, change my
business plan, change the way Iwas talking to people.
I really just had to be mindfulof every situation and aspect
of my life to make sure I wasmaking my best moves for the
(07:52):
next move, because the how ischanging, how you perceive
things or assign value to thingsor give meaning.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
It means a lot, and without it you're never going to
get out of your own way.
You'll just keep repeating andmake excuses.
Often people become the victimof always or their entitlement
becomes something that's andonce you've escaped it, it's
just so clear what the issue is.
Um, you'll have now showsomeone a picture or something
(08:28):
they can, but they won't see ohyes, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
It's beyond eye awakening, you know like.
So really sit there and havethat aha moment and you really
stepped outside of your box.
It just.
It makes everything so muchconvenient, easier and pivotal
in everything that you do inlife.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
It does.
And it's like I did a.
I did a bunch of reading onhappiness a couple years ago and
it and I'm sorry on mindfulnessa few years ago and in some of
the science behind it, how itactually can heal and stuff, and
I normally just kind of realizethat stuff.
I'm like you know what, let mejust go open cup kind of idea
into this and I was like, oh,interesting enough, right,
(09:14):
mindfulness was studied forthousands of years.
That's what they did.
Like you know, there wasn'tlike Nintendos, Xboxes and
mobile phones and social mediato distract them.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
They had a book or two that they all shared.
Look at monks and things likethat.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
It's how fast we dismiss like millennial
millennium sorry, millennium oftime of people studying the idea
of mindfulness and how itaffects human health and
behavior and your energy and allthe other things around it.
And it's amazing how quickly wedismissed that.
Old time People weren't, likeyou know, dumber back then, they
(09:50):
just had different.
They were probably actuallymore thoughtful and smarter to
some degree, because that's allthey had in their brains to
think and they had less time onearth to do it, and so it's
unbelievable to me.
So like I was like all right,you know, it's kind of like you
may not believe in the Bible,but it's been around for 2000
plus years and it's influencedlots of people.
You should at least considerwhat's written in it because it
(10:11):
has influence.
So that mindfulness piece Ithink is is beautiful because
the little bit you might get outof that is a major win on the
other end of it and when you'reon the other side of it and when
you're on the other side of ityou can look back and see that
person could use a little ofthat training.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Oh, yes, definitely.
I love that Definitely.
So I appreciate you sharing thatwith everyone, since maybe
you've been down this journeyand you've done some steps in
mindfulness.
What's been the impact for you,your business, your family?
(10:44):
No-transcript.
It really helps in aspects ofyour life and everybody is going
to hit different, you know,with their journey of you know,
(11:09):
mindfulness, self-awareness,finding their purpose in life.
Everybody has their own journey,but I say, once you really
grasp the whole thought of thatinitial epiphany moment, that's
what counts.
Think of how you felt in thatmoment.
(11:30):
You know, if you have tomeditate, if you have to say
affirmations to keep you in thatmode, then I suggest you do it,
because it's so easy to say, ohokay, that's what it is, but
then go back down into thatrabbit hole of what you were
before you know.
So it's so important that youjust focus on that epiphany
(11:57):
moment of what really led youinto that matter, into that
situation and how you felt, andjust hold on to that feeling,
because that feeling is going tocarry you throughout your
success and it's going to giveyou the fuel that you need.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
I like that.
You're probably pretty good atwhat you do.
It sounds like All right.
So you have some challengingquestions.
No, I'm just kidding.
What are you most grateful forin your life right now?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I am most grateful for honestly, it's gonna sound
crazy, but I am most gratefulfor my lessons and blessings in
life, because everything that Iwent through, whether it was
good or bad, has led me to thiscareer and doing what I love and
(12:56):
being able to live in my wholetrue, authentic self
unapologetically.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
I like that.
That's pretty, I mean, that'ssimple and to the point.
What you're grateful for isoften a reflection of where you
are in your life too.
So some people may be oh, I'mso grateful, I have money.
You're like no, I'm gratefulfor some other stuff.
Absolutely, Absolutely gratefulfor some other stuff.
Absolutely.
I am curious when you're, youknow, when you're given this
(13:27):
mindset, what kind of advice orhow has your advice changed to
your customers?
Speaker 2 (13:36):
It's funny.
Honestly, it hasn't changedthat much because I'm always
better at giving other peopleadvice than what I'm dealing
with and what I should be doingfor myself.
You know, it's always easier.
Helping someone else done inlife or have experienced in life
(14:02):
always makes me one step betterfor my customers and for my
clients, because I built a newsense of education and
understanding around problemsthat they are having.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
You know it's a.
This often is the case, right,you realize things that you, you
know, do what I say, not what Ido in your own life, and quite
for 15 years.
I'm just finally doing it.
So, as somebody who wasentrepreneurial podcast, it
gives lots of advice.
I like it.
My own businesses I'm not likeyou.
(14:36):
Do that as well.
Amazing how that works.
All right, a couple rapid firesfor you.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
You know what's the best business advice you've ever
received the best businessadvice that I have received
would probably be to pivot don'tbe afraid of the critiques, of
the criticism, because it's onlygoing to make your business
better.
I used to be so bad atreceiving criticism Like I would
(15:09):
fly off the handle.
Not good for a conflictresolution specialist now, which
is why I worked on it.
But I just thought you know, oh, I know what I'm doing, my way
is the best way.
It's been working for me allthese years.
But then when you look at it inhindsight and where you want to
(15:30):
be, you're like how close areyou to getting to that point and
is that something that'shindering you?
So I had to learn to step back.
Look at the critiques, look atthe criticism.
Don't take it as a personalattack on me personally.
Just think of it as somebodycoming in to give you advice on
(15:54):
how to make yourself better.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
I like that.
It's practical, it works.
A, it's practical, it works.
I'm not adding much value toyour statements because most of
the time I feel like I have tocarry on some stuff.
I just got to just ask youquestions, and everyone
listening can just ignore me andhear your answers.
Who gives you inspiration,though?
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Whew, Inspiration.
I would have to say a fewpeople.
My aunt that used to always nagme about my communication.
She inspired me a lot becauseshe was very business savvy.
You know, she was always at theoffice every day.
(16:37):
I would go into work with her,see how she would, you know,
interact with the clients andher colleagues and stuff like
that, and it always wassomething I wanted to emulate.
I was always like, wow, likethis is a business woman, this
is a business setting, Like Iwant to do this.
So my aunt was definitely a hugepivotal factor or you know
(17:02):
anything, any factor in my lifeand in my success in my careers.
Another inspiration would haveto be Miss Kimora Lee Simmons,
the owner of Baby Fat, and Ijust always loved her.
I always loved strong, powerfulbusinesswoman and so I always
(17:27):
saw something in some sort ofbusiness aspect from a lot of
successful businesswoman that Iwanted to carry with me because
I felt like, okay, that'ssomething good, that's something
that they're doing right andit's something that I would like
to have in me also.
So I would say my aunt andKamora Lee would be the two
(17:53):
people that were hugeinspirations in my success.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
If you had a must-recommended book that
everyone should read, what is it?
If you had a must-recommendedbook that everyone should read.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
What is it?
Again, going back to Kamora LeeSimmons, she has a book called
Fabulosity what it Is and how toGet it and that book came out
when I was, I want to say,around 13.
I have read it probably aboutfive times.
I just love the book.
(18:27):
I think it's a great book for ayoung woman that's coming into
their own, a woman that isstriving for success.
Men too it is unisex, it can goboth ways, but that book is
definitely a great read on howyou can be a great business
professional, how you canovercome adversities and pretty
(18:51):
much everything that life canthrow at you.
It helps you on you know fromher perspective, on how she got
through it, and it'll let youreflect on yourself a lot as
well you know you're gonna makeme have to go look this up now,
darn it.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
And another one audible list.
I carry a very deep audiblelist because this podcast, but
I've never heard that one, andso that that always intrigued me
quite a bit when I hear a newone.
So thank you for sharing that.
If you could go back in time toany point in your life, any
timeline choice, when would yougo back?
What would you do differently?
Speaker 2 (19:32):
People ask me this question a lot, because you
always hear people oh, I wish Icould be 16 again.
Oh, I wish I can be 18 again.
I want to go back to being likethree or four again.
Just let me redo everything.
You know, I feel like I havemade a lot of crazy decisions in
(19:55):
my life that could, if I didn'tdo them, I could have been
successful a lot faster.
Okay, so yeah, I woulddefinitely go back to being four
and redoing it.
Yeah, just give me a completereset.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
I'd say there's two types of answers.
That's one and another was aguy said I wish I would have
ordered a latte instead of ablack coffee.
I would like so that instead ofa black coffee, I would lie.
So that's the guy living in themoment right there.
That's like Ted Lasso stuffright there.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Talk about the simple things in life.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
I'm going to correct that.
Right after this podcast,there's no regrets.
Guy right there, you, you'relike all right, we're going to
implode this life.
I know kids are gone, sorry,we're going back this life.
I know kids are gone, sorrywe're going back.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Okay, let's not give you control the time machine.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
I'm gonna yeah, no, don't get me, I'm gonna go back
to the dinosaur if I get it.
I would like go back and seethat.
As long as, like I'm not likeI'm not actually there, I'm just
observing I would, that wouldbe so yeah, like you're in a
bubble imagine if you go backthere actually just talking and
you're like, whoa, he's right,um, you would know that this
world is a simulation at thatpoint, like even the dinosaur
(21:11):
spoke English.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
So weird, right?
Yeah, like you just asked thedinosaur for a latte instead of
a black coffee in theory.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Yeah, it's down there .
What is that thing?
Right, let's eat that.
If there's a question I shouldhave asked you today, but I
didn't.
What would that question havebeen and how would you have
answered it?
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Oh, now that one is a good one, juicer.
Yes, very that one might haveto make me think.
Yes, very that one might haveto make me think.
I would say, if I am such agreat conflict resolution
(21:59):
specialist, what makes me sogreat and how can I feel that I
can fill that greatness?
Speaker 1 (22:08):
I mean, I was going to ask that next, but since we
got, Let me help you out here.
Lay it on me, let's hear it.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Yes, like I said, I have been through a lot of
trials, tribulations, situations, experiences.
I have.
There is probably not asituation in life that I haven't
been through and if I haven'tbeen through it, I know close
friends and family that havebeen through it and I've helped
(22:39):
them too.
So, just basically, I havebuilt a life on learning people,
learning situations, learningdifferent environments and
things like that, so that waythere I can diffuse conflict in
the best possible nature to makeit positive and proactive for
(23:02):
both sides in any dimension thatyou can think of.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
That's a pretty good answer.
I think you've practiced that.
No, I told you, I'm just good,I just just bullied through.
These lips just comes out and Iwake up on the floor.
I'm like I black out.
How does somebody or actuallystart with now, how does
somebody I don't want somebodywho specifically should get
(23:32):
ahold of you, and how do they dothat?
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Um, I feel like anyone running a business,
owning a business, um, in a worksituation where they have some
sort of communication deficit,have some sort of communication
deficit, there's lines that aregetting crossed because I feel
like, with the business ownersand business managers, people
are so intrigued and infatuatedwith the idea of wanting to be
(24:09):
rich, wanting to be successful,wanting to have a business that
everyone knows about, withoutactually doing the minor details
that could get you there faster, which is know your employees.
Don't just stick any employeein a position just to have that
spot filled.
(24:30):
Have that spot filled.
Know the person you know.
Spend time, I would say whenyou, when an employer or manager
, whatever hires an employee,spend at least a day, a half a
day, call it an orientationexperience, but really sit down
(24:50):
and learn your employee.
Ask them questions, you know,do you have kids?
Do you have this?
Ask them things that are goingon in their life, because when
they have certain situationsthat come up, you know you can
be mindful to it.
Oh yeah, I know they have this,this, this and this going on.
(25:13):
Mindful to it Like, oh yeah, Iknow they have this, this, this
and this going on, not just youknow if you have an employee
that's going to call out andyou're ready to fire them
because they call out.
No, you know that they haveprior obligations.
They have certain situationsthat they're working through in
their personal life and youshould be mindful to that.
Every employee wants to knowthat they are valued in their
(25:38):
job, in their career, in theirposition.
You know Every employee doesn'twant to just come into work,
punch a time clock and, you know, get screamed at.
You know, if the person doesn'tknow how to you know, build
(25:58):
this showpiece, how do they know?
Because you didn't ask them,you just told them to do it.
You need to know.
Okay, they have hands-onexperience, they're a hands-on
learner.
They need to know this.
They need to know that.
You need to know how youremployees learn.
You need to know how youremployees perceive you.
(26:20):
You need to know how youremployees feel about your
customers Things like that inorder to make your business grow
to the potential that you wantit to grow.
And if you don't do that, thenyou're just having spot fillers.
That's gonna either throw yourbusiness down the tubes or
(26:41):
you're gonna throw your businessdown the tubes because you're
not making that effort to seewhere those gaps lie.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Is there a specific business type that really works
well for you, like you reallyhelp the best?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
No, I help all businesses in the same aspect,
and why I can do that is becauseI have held numerous, numerous
job positions throughout mycareer.
I've held every position in therestaurant industry.
I've worked in warehouse, I'veworked in you know anything, you
(27:20):
name it.
I have worked there, so I knowthe dynamics between what bosses
expect, what bosses want andhow the employees feel, what the
employees can do, how theyperceive the bosses in the job,
and it's all a melting effectthat goes into everything.
(27:42):
Everything can be from everybusiness aspect.
It can all be taken, no matterwhat industry you are.
It just depends on the person.
Everyone is unique, so you justwant to hone into what makes
them unique and how can you getthe best possible outcome for
both of you?
Speaker 1 (28:05):
That's nice, you rock .
Thank you, shep, for coming ontoday.
I appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Thank you.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
As anyone from Atlanta you know, you got to
give them deference.
We're all in this giant city inthe middle of nowhere.
Yes, yes why couldn't we move inlike an hour from the city?
Why couldn't we go like justdown a little south?
There's like there's nothing,there's like a river or
something.
People got on, some trainscrossed and we're like, hey,
let's put it here Like, could wego on a little like?
So we're like two hours fromDestin and two hours from the
(28:34):
floor.
Could we like go on a littlecloser to the beaches?
Yeah, I'm going back and doinglike no, no, no, Terminus isn't
going here, it's going downthere.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
That probably won't make the floor.
We'll cut the floor, but anyway, appreciate you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Thank you.
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Listen, reach out to Aisha, get out there If you have
these challenges, you know,have a conversation with her.
And then, if you just listenfor the first time I hope it's
the first of many, and if you'vebeen here before, thanks for
coming back Get out there.
Go cut a tie to somethingholding you back.
Define that success in yourterms.
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