July 29, 2025 • 22 mins
Cut The Tie Podcast with Rai Cornell
In this episode of Cut The Tie, Thomas Helfrich sits down with Rai Cornell, founder of Cornell Content Marketing, to unpack what it really takes to build a business that reflects who you are—and supports the life you actually want.
From freelancing burnout to scaling an agency, Rai shares hard-won lessons on money, mindset, mental health, and identity. This episode is a must-listen for anyone tired of chasing hustle culture and ready to build something rooted in value and vision.
About Rai Cornell
Rai Cornell is the founder of Cornell Content Marketing and a former freelance writer who turned her solopreneur journey into a thriving full-service agency. She supports entrepreneurs through content marketing strategy and business consulting that’s deeply personal, emotionally intelligent, and focused on long-term sustainability—not just short-term wins.
In this episode, Thomas and Rai discuss:
- The emotional rollercoaster of entrepreneurship
Rai talks about going from suicidal ideation to CEO—and why mental health needs to be part of every founder’s growth plan. - Why hustle isn’t a strategy
She shares how traditional models of growth nearly broke her, and how she redefined success on her terms. - When scaling means subtracting
Rai explains why her biggest breakthroughs came not from adding services, but from removing what no longer aligned. - From freelancer to founder
She breaks down the mindset shifts and financial strategies that helped her transition from surviving client to client to running a team-based agency. - “You have to do the internal work”
Whether it’s imposter syndrome or undercharging, Rai emphasizes that internal transformation is required for external success.
Key Takeaways:
- Your pricing reflects your self-worth
If you’re undercharging, it’s not a strategy problem—it’s often an identity issue. - Burnout isn’t part of the job—it’s a warning sign
Rai’s own experience forced her to rethink how she structured work, boundaries, and self-care. - You can’t outsource your growth
Coaches, templates, and courses won’t work unless you do. - Let your business evolve with you
Rai’s agency only started to thrive when she stopped forcing it to look like someone else’s version of success. - Clarity creates confidence
Knowing what you offer—and who it’s for—gives you the power to stand firm in your value.
Connect with Rai Cornell:
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/raicornell/
🌐 Website: https://www.cornellcontentmarketing.com
📧 Email: hello@cornellcontentmarketing.com
Connect with Thomas Helfrich:
🐦 Twitter: https://twitter.com/thelfrich
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/cutthetie
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thomashelfrich/
🌐 Website: https://www.cutthetie.com
📧 Email: t@instantlyrelevant.com
🚀 Instantly Relevant: https://www.instantlyrelevant.com
Serious about LinkedIn Lead Generation? Stop Guessing what to do on LinkedIn and ignite revenue from relevance with Instantly Relevant Lead System
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Cut the Tie podcast.
Hi, I'm your host, thomasHelfrich, on a mission to help
you cut the tie to whatever itis holding you back, and you
better define your own success,because otherwise you're chasing
success of somebody else andyou don't have much ties to cut.
But today we're gonna hearsomebody else's story Rae Hyde,
cornell Rae, how are you?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Good, I'm good.
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
I appreciate it.
No, it's R-A-I Am I saying itright, Rae?
Speaker 2 (00:23):
You should got it.
Yeah, I'm pretty impressed.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Most people don't get it right.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
the first time Were you disappointed before we get
to know you in Star Wars that hespelled her name wrong.
No, I was relieved because ifthey spelled it the way that my
name is spelled, then she wouldhave had the same problem that I
have, which is everyonepronouncing it like rye bread
right guy works for me.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
His name is kaido k-a-i-t-o, and for nine months
of the first you know we wereworking together for almost five
years.
I call him kato and he said hey, by the way, my name is kaido.
I was like you took your ninemonths to correct me seriously.
But I know that that's ray,because I try.
No parent would do that to you.
Cornell, take a moment tointroduce yourself and what it
(01:08):
is you do.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Yeah, so I am a marketing psychology strategist.
I do content marketing andbuild full funnel, organic
content marketing funnels forB2B companies.
In a previous life I was acorrections and substance abuse
counselor, so I now bring all ofthose behavior change models
into marketing.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
So you help people get addicted to your content is
what I'm hearing.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Pretty much yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
It's funny, though it's the same channels in the
brain.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
It is, it is and it's Exactly Dopamine, oxytocin,
endorphins.
That's how we build the knowlike and trust factor.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Yep as a company that does stuff with this.
We add one more element inthere called relevance.
Yeah, that gets people to buy.
We'll take that up morning.
Maybe we'll do a.
Maybe I have another show youshould come on.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
We should talk about that oh, you and I could talk
for days about that, yeah well,you know what?
Speaker 1 (01:57):
maybe a host, because I I fall asleep after talking
about it for like two or threehours.
All right, uh, in your businessit is incredibly competitive,
even in the psychology piece.
But there are people, there's alot of people, who claim at
least to do what you do and yousound like you have an actual
credentialed background on it.
But what is your differentiator?
Why do people pick you?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah, I mean, it really is my background, because
I worked with the mostdifficult and deeply ingrained
behaviors, like personalitydisorders, criminal behavior,
substance abuse.
I understand what it takes tochange behavior and, ultimately,
what is marketing.
You're trying to use languageand visual messaging to change a
(02:37):
buyer's behavior from choosingyour competitors or doing
nothing to choosing you.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Yeah, and that background I got to tell you, so
just to give her creds.
I'm in the marketing space.
I will tell you you can't learnthat on your own.
You're going to get some actualfundamental.
It's one of the rare use casesof schooling that actually works
.
You can YouTube it a little bit, but nah, the truth is you
really got to deep dive,understand it at a mechanism
level so you can execute.
So I do see an advantage foryou there.
(03:04):
I don't say that everyone whoanswers that question has it.
I might just move forward, butI will give you that so people
can properly stalk you whilethey listen to you talk today.
Give them one link, just one,that they can go stalk you at.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Yeah, Best would be LinkedIn, so linkedincom.
Slash, I-N slash and then myname R-A-I.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Cornell C-O-R-M-E-L-L .
Very good, thank you.
So go stalk away while she'stalking.
Now, all right, before we getinto your journey and the ties
that you've had to cut, so tospeak.
How do you define success?
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Success is creating your own standards and living up
to them.
So too often people are livingup to the standards of their
parents or of society, thinking,oh, you have to go to college,
you have to get the job, youhave to get the corner office,
you have to get the house, youhave to have the 2.5 kids.
But is that really success?
(03:53):
If you're miserable doing it,you have to set your own
standards, and until you do thatyou have no idea what success
actually looks like.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
And when you defined it, did you have that like the
moment where it became clearLike I would say like that is
definitely success for me.
Do you remember kind of howthat went for you?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Yeah, I mean, I think , being someone who's been
self-employed for so long, I'mgoing in my 18th year in
marketing and started out as afreelancer way back in the day
and it's always been aboutsurvival.
Until you get to a certain pointand once you feel like you've
kind of figured out your thingand your niche and your market
(04:36):
and how you can really add valueto businesses, you can finally
step out of survival mode.
And then suddenly you can think, oh wait, I don't just have to
focus on paying rent, I don'tjust have to figure out how I'm
going to buy groceries.
I can actually do somethingwith my life and have something
to aim for.
And it's once you hit thatpoint and you start picturing
(04:59):
what am I doing all of this for?
And I don't know a singleentrepreneur who has not had
that sort of mid-career crisisof why am I doing this?
Why am I hustling?
Why am I working so hard?
What is all this for?
Once you have that freak outmoment and you decide why you're
doing it all, that's when yourpicture of success really
(05:20):
becomes clear.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I feel like you're reading my brain right now.
You've been there do you havejedi mind trick?
Just just are you a jedi alittle bit.
Yeah, I mean, you know what Ido well, you say that because,
uh, so I'll, I share this.
I mean, I live the life of cutthe tie right.
So so a few years ago stoppeddrinking, you know, I got in
shape, did all the stuff, andthen this year I did adult adhd,
(05:41):
which is frontal cortexdopamine regulation.
Oh, yeah.
Stuff that you're always like,this is how you are and you
accept that that's the crazy youlive in, but you don't realize
how many glass boxes are aroundyou, yeah, so you break through
the other side and this is newfor me.
I got eight weeks in and I willtell you I've done more to my
business in the last eight weeksthan I have in the last four
(06:03):
years.
Wow, and the reason is I waslike, wow, we help people with
lead generation, right, yeah,what you do, you're in one of
our boxes, right, you need tolook at this piece.
But what I found was, whenpeople only focus on, like the
lead gen piece, the reason itdoesn't work is they're not
looking at the holistic thingsthat everyone looks at the
psychology behind it, theirbrand, the problem they solve Is
(06:23):
it desperate or is it yousolving for you?
Like, looking at all theseelements, nothing's going to
work unless your offer matches.
And so I realized, like man, Ineed to just go all in on that,
because the truth is no one'slooking at.
They're trying to sell softwaresolutions and services that
ultimately benefit the marketingagency and not the customer.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Right.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
And so so I I agree with you.
Just to extrapolate that to thelistener the more you niche
into something you really sawreally well, people will know
you for it and it'll be veryeasy to go from where's my next
client to.
I can charge more now becauseI'm full.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Yeah, exactly, it's that line between being so
afraid of missing the nextopportunity or the next paycheck
, and so you decide that you doeverything and you're going to
be a generalist and you'll takeanything that comes your way to
actually deciding no, that's nothow I want to be remembered,
because I'm not going to beremembered at all that way, and
instead I want to be known forfill in the blank 100% On your
(07:18):
own journey.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
right, You're 18 years in it.
What's been the biggest tie todate that you've?
Speaker 2 (07:23):
You know, I've been thinking about this for a couple
of days now, and it's hard tosay what the biggest one was,
because at each point that Imade these big cuts, it felt
like the scariest thing I'd everdone in my career, and each one
(07:45):
gave me the courage to do thenext one.
And I had to think about well,which one am I going to say?
You know, when he asked mewhat's the biggest tie that I
have cut, which one do I choose?
I can't choose just one, but Ican tell you that they all had
the same theme and I cut each ofthose ties because of the way I
was being treated.
And so it's less about cuttinga tie for a reason, because, you
(08:11):
know, I want to move to adifferent country or become a
digital nomad, or, you know,people give all these kinds of
reasons, of lifestyle changes orgoals or dreams.
My ties were always cut becauseof the way I was being treated,
and I decided to tell the world, the universe, you know,
whatever you believe in, hey,I'm not going to tolerate this
anymore, and so I'm not going toexchange my quality of life and
(08:36):
my self-worth for a paycheck.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
That is a very big realization and that's one of
the hardest ones to go.
Did you find that the paycheckthat was secure was nothing more
than a false lie?
Once you've gotten through thehow do I pay my groceries mode,
do you see how that?
Maybe not.
I mean, do you see that maybe,like well, that's just kind of
(09:00):
I've been sold a lie on thatsteady idea.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Yeah, exactly Because the thing is, the places that
have been the most steady sourceof income for me and you know,
I am a consultant, I run amarketing agency, so we have
multiple clients at a time andwhen I think about the clients
that I've had the longestrelationship with, it's always
been where I'm treated like apartner, like a valuable
(09:26):
resource, like someone who's apart of the team, even though
I'm technically a third partyvendor.
And it's been the situationswhere, even when the paycheck
was the biggest one I had everbrought in, where that was the
most precarious and I knew thatI wasn't being valued as a
member of the team and I wasbeing basically treated like
(09:49):
shit if I can say that on thispodcast and the temptation of
sticking with it and, just, youknow, gritting my teeth and
bearing it that was on the otherside of the teeter-totter was
this big paycheck that was goingto, you know, keep our business
afloat and keep my teamwell-paid and all of that.
(10:11):
But I knew that because thisone person who was the linchpin
of the relationship was notinvested in the relationship.
That paycheck could go away atany moment and so I needed to be
the one to say you know what?
I'm not doing this, I'm notputting up with this.
I don't care how much moneyit's for, we're just going to go
(10:32):
our own way, because thenyou're choosing your own fate.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
That's a hard one.
It's like firing a client orsomething else.
I got to tell you at the time Icouldn't afford to fire that
client, but I also couldn'tafford to lose a whole team over
it.
Then what happens?
You don't pick a client likethat in the future, exactly and
really, or you charge them somuch.
You're like, guys, it's goingto suck, I'm going to pay you
extra, yeah.
And they're like, yeah, we getit, Thanks.
So I agree, what's been kind ofthe impact in your life since
(11:01):
you know it's been a while,right, but you've had this
journey?
Maybe the impact I'd like tohear about is when you decided
to just focus on that one thingand go from.
Well, I'll draw on.
The screen here is like an upand down arrow.
It's the revenue cycle of feastand fathom, which is what many
entrepreneurs go through whenthey're not focused on the thing
that makes the money.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
And it sounds like you would.
So, when you got out of that,what was?
What's been the impact foryourself or clients, or however
you'd like to measure it?
Speaker 2 (11:28):
I mean, it's been across the board.
The impact for me is I get tofocus on what I really really
enjoy, which is being creativeand creating content and being
the creative director for ourcontent strategies and tying in
all of the psychological modelsthat I love and that I just nerd
out on.
I get to weave all thattogether and focus just on that,
(11:51):
and for a long time I thought,okay, well, we need to be a
full-service agency, we need todo ads and we need to do social
media and we need to do allthese things that I actually
hate.
I hate ads, I hate it.
So when I finally decided, okay, we're just going to niche down
into what we do best, which iscontent production and making
(12:11):
sure that every piece of contenthas those psychological
underpinnings, that's wheneverything started to come
together, because that's what webecame known for.
That's what we were able to getreally good at.
Our clients benefited more, webenefited more and we're able to
really refine.
If you're in the marketingworld, you know that things are
constantly changing.
(12:32):
Every day, you wake up to anemail newsletter that has some
new innovation or technology orsomething that's going to make
you freak out, because now thewhole game is different, and
when you focus on just one thingthat you're really good at,
that's all you have to worryabout.
You don't have to worry aboutall the other noise.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
It's the entrepreneur , and out you don't have to
worry about all the other noiseit's the entrepreneur.
And this is like a lot ofentrepreneurs are ADD because
they can't survive, and so I seethis pattern specifically.
When you get comfortable thatyou don't have to chase every
opportunity, or you just startseeing that you can make money
on one opportunity and just keepfocused on that, that's a
beautiful thing, and if you cannever get there, I do suggest
you do something about that,because if you feel like, oh, I
(13:10):
need to go here, I want to takethat, I want to go, do that.
You are setting yourself up fora miserable.
You know like you're just goingto be horrible, it's going to
be.
You're going to endlessly workand not get anywhere.
You're going to just derail it.
Did someone tell you that,though?
Did someone go?
Hey, focus on this.
What was the breakthrough?
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Yeah, the moment was actually, and it's been so long
now that sometimes I forget thatthis happened.
But I'm glad that you askedbecause if I think back to the
moment when I had that, aha, Iwas actually on a sales call
with a potential client and theyasked me so do you have a
background in business or inmarketing or something?
And I got really embarrassedand I'm pretty sure my cheeks
turned bright red and luckily itwas a phone call, not a Zoom
(13:56):
call, so they couldn't see me.
But I kind of stammered and Isaid oh, you know, no, I don't
have a degree in business or inmarketing.
Actually, my degrees are inpsychology and criminology.
And I thought that was going tobe a huge knock against me and
in fact that client leaned inand they go oh really, that's
actually really interestingbecause there's so much overlap
between marketing and psychology.
(14:17):
I think it could be a realasset to our team and it was
that I very rarely need externalvalidation, but it was that
conversation that made me go.
Oh, I don't have to be ashamedof pivoting careers and going
from something that I thoughtwas completely unrelated into
this marketing world that I love.
I can actually marry the two,and ever since then it's just
(14:41):
been a constant merger ofeverything that I learned in my
schooling, as well as working inmental hospitals and drug rehab
facilities and communitycounseling centers, and bringing
all of that together into thecontent marketing world.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Yeah, I'll go back to listening.
Like right, like that is anabsolute advantage in marketing
is having a psychologybackground.
100 because it's, it's just,it's a different understanding
of what works when you read anddo things, of how that will
impact people at like, an actualphysiological level yeah I had
it.
Don't have this going for it now.
I'm just gonna outsource it.
So seriously at this point, you, you, it's just too much.
(15:18):
And in yours you had clinical,so it's not like you did it,
learned it and this appliedtextbooks.
Anybody can go do that honestly.
You could youtube that whenyou're sitting across it's just
too much.
And yours you had clinical, soit's not like you did it,
learned it and just appliedtextbooks.
Anybody can go do that honestly.
You could YouTube that.
When you're sitting acrosssomebody who has made some
really shitty decisions in lifeand continues to, and you've
gotten to understand the whybehind that, you're at a whole
new level of understanding.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
And I say that because I've seen people who
were in.
Just I know it's an advantage.
She's not paying me to say this, everybody, I'm just telling
you.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Yeah, and my favorite things to think back on now in
marketing when my wholeprofessional world is marketing,
my favorite things to thinkback on are actually the times
when I was sitting with patientsat a drug rehab facility I
worked at in San Diego andeveryone who was there was
either on probation or paroleand I had patients who had
(16:07):
schizophrenia, antisocialpersonality disorder, lifelong.
I'm talking 50 years ofsubstance abuse behavior and
thinking about the models andinterventions and therapeutic
frameworks that worked with themto change their deeply, deeply
ingrained behaviors.
That's when I have these lightbulb moments of this is what the
(16:31):
brain actually needs, this iswhat the soul actually needs,
this is what the humans actuallyneed and, ultimately, that's
what marketing is.
It's forming relationships andhelping people see a path
forward in a direction that theyhad never before considered,
because it either looked tooscary or they didn't even know
that it was there yeah, or they,they, it takes a step like like
(16:52):
they're the, the frozen animalthat just wants to feel safe to
come into something warm, butdoesn't know.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
he's like okay, I feel safe going in there.
I like I know I need air, itI'm freezing to death, but I
don't trust any of these houses.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Right, especially when people have been burned
before by other.
You know companies and peoplewho say that they provide the
service that they're looking forand actually end up just taking
tens of thousands of dollars.
And yeah, there's a lot ofhealing that has to happen in
marketing.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
It's funny you use this word burn For where I take
my company.
We actually are beginning toverify agencies.
That's the pivot to our companyand so we have a and we
actually use Lee with never getburned again.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Oh, I love that.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Our logo is actually a hashtag with a fire Like it's
like never get burned again,Pick a verified agency.
So it's pretty sure it doesfeel burn that you look at, you
touch it and like that thatstill hurts it stings.
Yes, yeah.
What are you most grateful fortoday?
Speaker 2 (17:49):
oh, this is probably gonna sound super cheesy and
cliche, but my husband, he'sbeen through every single twist
and turn and change and whenI've decided to make these big
cuts, these big cutting of theties, he's been there to support
me, even when it's terrifying,because firing a client means
losing 74% of our revenue.
(18:09):
You know, and I decided to makethat cut, he's been right there
with me saying we can do it, noproblem.
You know, this is the rightcall and let's do the right call
, not the easy thing.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Wonderful.
What's the, what's the tieyou're afraid to cut today?
Speaker 2 (18:25):
oh yeah, I've been thinking about this ever since
your last.
Get through this out there.
That's a potential question andI'm I'm trying to pick him
virtually no, like what am Igonna answer that one?
yeah, um, you know, I think forme and I think you know I'm glad
that you mentioned earlier yourown like lifestyle changes that
(18:47):
you've had to cut ties with,because I think that's
ultimately what it comes down tofor me I have such a bad habit
of being a workaholic, that is,it is so deeply ingrained in my
identity and my way of being.
It's always work, work, work.
Deeply ingrained in my identityand my way of being.
It's always work, work, work,work, work.
(19:08):
You know, my husband teases mebecause I have very few hobbies
and if I do have a little listof hobbies, I spend maybe 20
minutes per month or per quarteron them.
I always say work is my hobby.
Building a business, yeah, yeah, micro hobby, work is
everything I do and that's notexactly healthy.
And so I think what I the tiethat I really need to cut is
(19:29):
work being such a ginormous partof my identity and really
getting back to, yeah, butwhat's healthy for me long-term?
And making those lifestylechanges to balance out work and,
in my case, like health andbeing outside and things like
that.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
You?
Uh, I would not wait on thatone, and so you know, as I meet
lots of people in spectrums ages, the ones that are really
degradating on, and theirbiggest regret is they never
picked up something tennis,pickleball and their biggest
regret is they never picked upsomething tennis, pickleball,
anything that's outdoor related,that allows them to.
Man, I'm so excited to go fillin the blank because then they
(20:09):
get to where they can't, theydon't want to work anymore, they
can or whatever, and then theythey, they're done fast.
So I would take that one withthe idea that my health depends,
my life depends on that at 60.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Yeah, so like, really , like you know.
So, just conscious of our time,because I know you have a hard
shot, I want to know what's thequestion that I should have
asked you that I didn't ask youtoday, though.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Oh, um, maybe you know one of the questions I love
to get asked because I kind ofgo off on a little bit of a
soapbox tirade about it iswhat's wrong with B2B marketing
today and my podcast.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
One liner on that one .
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah, keep me in check here on this because I
could come off for a while but Ithink it's the biggest B2B
mistake is thinking that B2Bdeals are all logic based and
all based on features andbenefits, and they're not.
They are known by humans whowant relationships and who want
emotional connection andvalidation towards their goals,
and there's so much more thatgoes into B2B deals than just
(21:11):
features and benefits.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Agreed.
When I coach people, the firststep is the desperate problem
you solve For a B2B person.
It's not get me more leads orwhatever.
It's keep my job.
Don't get me fired.
That doesn't look good.
Right, don't make, that mightbe the B answer.
Make me look good, it'd be an Aplus.
You're spot on.
There's a group of peopleyou're selling to with one
(21:34):
influence and there's a wholepiece psychology behind that.
And you're right.
Yeah, nailed it.
Shameless plug for you TimeOnce again.
Who should get a hold of youand where should they do that?
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Yeah.
So I really love working withmarketing teams of zero to five
in B2B companies because we canhelp them move faster, smarter
and with psychological precisionto get more out of every single
piece of content that they'recreating.
And I've worked with companiesover the years who a company
(22:10):
that I used to write blogcontent for back in 2018,
they're still making money offof the content that they paid me
a couple hundred bucks for andit's that kind of ROI that,
long-term, it just gets betterand better and better every
month over month.
That's what I love to createfor companies Wonderful Thank
you so much by the I love tocreate for companies Wonderful.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Thank you so much, by the way, for coming on today.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Yeah, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Get older on LinkedIn .
You know R-A-I-C-O-O-R-N-E-L-Lin the show notes, but thank you
for coming on.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Yeah, thanks so much.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Everybody who made it to this point.
Thank you for listeningwatching.
Welcome to the Cut the Tie podcast.
Hi, I'm your host, thomasHelfrich, on a mission to help
you cut the tie to whatever itis holding you back, and you
better define your own success,because otherwise you're chasing
success of somebody else andyou don't have much ties to cut.
But today we're gonna hearsomebody else's story Rae Hyde,
cornell Rae, how are you?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Good, I'm good.
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
I appreciate it.
No, it's R-A-I Am I saying itright, Rae?
Speaker 2 (00:23):
You should got it.
Yeah, I'm pretty impressed.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Most people don't get it right.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
the first time Were you disappointed before we get
to know you in Star Wars that hespelled her name wrong.
No, I was relieved because ifthey spelled it the way that my
name is spelled, then she wouldhave had the same problem that I
have, which is everyonepronouncing it like rye bread
right guy works for me.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
His name is kaido k-a-i-t-o, and for nine months
of the first you know we wereworking together for almost five
years.
I call him kato and he said hey, by the way, my name is kaido.
I was like you took your ninemonths to correct me seriously.
But I know that that's ray,because I try.
No parent would do that to you.
Cornell, take a moment tointroduce yourself and what it
(01:08):
is you do.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Yeah, so I am a marketing psychology strategist.
I do content marketing andbuild full funnel, organic
content marketing funnels forB2B companies.
In a previous life I was acorrections and substance abuse
counselor, so I now bring all ofthose behavior change models
into marketing.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
So you help people get addicted to your content is
what I'm hearing.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Pretty much yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
It's funny, though it's the same channels in the
brain.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
It is, it is and it's Exactly Dopamine, oxytocin,
endorphins.
That's how we build the knowlike and trust factor.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Yep as a company that does stuff with this.
We add one more element inthere called relevance.
Yeah, that gets people to buy.
We'll take that up morning.
Maybe we'll do a.
Maybe I have another show youshould come on.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
We should talk about that oh, you and I could talk
for days about that, yeah well,you know what?
Speaker 1 (01:57):
maybe a host, because I I fall asleep after talking
about it for like two or threehours.
All right, uh, in your businessit is incredibly competitive,
even in the psychology piece.
But there are people, there's alot of people, who claim at
least to do what you do and yousound like you have an actual
credentialed background on it.
But what is your differentiator?
Why do people pick you?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah, I mean, it really is my background, because
I worked with the mostdifficult and deeply ingrained
behaviors, like personalitydisorders, criminal behavior,
substance abuse.
I understand what it takes tochange behavior and, ultimately,
what is marketing.
You're trying to use languageand visual messaging to change a
(02:37):
buyer's behavior from choosingyour competitors or doing
nothing to choosing you.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Yeah, and that background I got to tell you, so
just to give her creds.
I'm in the marketing space.
I will tell you you can't learnthat on your own.
You're going to get some actualfundamental.
It's one of the rare use casesof schooling that actually works
.
You can YouTube it a little bit, but nah, the truth is you
really got to deep dive,understand it at a mechanism
level so you can execute.
So I do see an advantage foryou there.
(03:04):
I don't say that everyone whoanswers that question has it.
I might just move forward, butI will give you that so people
can properly stalk you whilethey listen to you talk today.
Give them one link, just one,that they can go stalk you at.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Yeah, Best would be LinkedIn, so linkedincom.
Slash, I-N slash and then myname R-A-I.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Cornell C-O-R-M-E-L-L .
Very good, thank you.
So go stalk away while she'stalking.
Now, all right, before we getinto your journey and the ties
that you've had to cut, so tospeak.
How do you define success?
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Success is creating your own standards and living up
to them.
So too often people are livingup to the standards of their
parents or of society, thinking,oh, you have to go to college,
you have to get the job, youhave to get the corner office,
you have to get the house, youhave to have the 2.5 kids.
But is that really success?
(03:53):
If you're miserable doing it,you have to set your own
standards, and until you do thatyou have no idea what success
actually looks like.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
And when you defined it, did you have that like the
moment where it became clearLike I would say like that is
definitely success for me.
Do you remember kind of howthat went for you?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Yeah, I mean, I think , being someone who's been
self-employed for so long, I'mgoing in my 18th year in
marketing and started out as afreelancer way back in the day
and it's always been aboutsurvival.
Until you get to a certain pointand once you feel like you've
kind of figured out your thingand your niche and your market
(04:36):
and how you can really add valueto businesses, you can finally
step out of survival mode.
And then suddenly you can think, oh wait, I don't just have to
focus on paying rent, I don'tjust have to figure out how I'm
going to buy groceries.
I can actually do somethingwith my life and have something
to aim for.
And it's once you hit thatpoint and you start picturing
(04:59):
what am I doing all of this for?
And I don't know a singleentrepreneur who has not had
that sort of mid-career crisisof why am I doing this?
Why am I hustling?
Why am I working so hard?
What is all this for?
Once you have that freak outmoment and you decide why you're
doing it all, that's when yourpicture of success really
(05:20):
becomes clear.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I feel like you're reading my brain right now.
You've been there do you havejedi mind trick?
Just just are you a jedi alittle bit.
Yeah, I mean, you know what Ido well, you say that because,
uh, so I'll, I share this.
I mean, I live the life of cutthe tie right.
So so a few years ago stoppeddrinking, you know, I got in
shape, did all the stuff, andthen this year I did adult adhd,
(05:41):
which is frontal cortexdopamine regulation.
Oh, yeah.
Stuff that you're always like,this is how you are and you
accept that that's the crazy youlive in, but you don't realize
how many glass boxes are aroundyou, yeah, so you break through
the other side and this is newfor me.
I got eight weeks in and I willtell you I've done more to my
business in the last eight weeksthan I have in the last four
(06:03):
years.
Wow, and the reason is I waslike, wow, we help people with
lead generation, right, yeah,what you do, you're in one of
our boxes, right, you need tolook at this piece.
But what I found was, whenpeople only focus on, like the
lead gen piece, the reason itdoesn't work is they're not
looking at the holistic thingsthat everyone looks at the
psychology behind it, theirbrand, the problem they solve Is
(06:23):
it desperate or is it yousolving for you?
Like, looking at all theseelements, nothing's going to
work unless your offer matches.
And so I realized, like man, Ineed to just go all in on that,
because the truth is no one'slooking at.
They're trying to sell softwaresolutions and services that
ultimately benefit the marketingagency and not the customer.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Right.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
And so so I I agree with you.
Just to extrapolate that to thelistener the more you niche
into something you really sawreally well, people will know
you for it and it'll be veryeasy to go from where's my next
client to.
I can charge more now becauseI'm full.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Yeah, exactly, it's that line between being so
afraid of missing the nextopportunity or the next paycheck
, and so you decide that you doeverything and you're going to
be a generalist and you'll takeanything that comes your way to
actually deciding no, that's nothow I want to be remembered,
because I'm not going to beremembered at all that way, and
instead I want to be known forfill in the blank 100% On your
(07:18):
own journey.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
right, You're 18 years in it.
What's been the biggest tie todate that you've?
Speaker 2 (07:23):
You know, I've been thinking about this for a couple
of days now, and it's hard tosay what the biggest one was,
because at each point that Imade these big cuts, it felt
like the scariest thing I'd everdone in my career, and each one
(07:45):
gave me the courage to do thenext one.
And I had to think about well,which one am I going to say?
You know, when he asked mewhat's the biggest tie that I
have cut, which one do I choose?
I can't choose just one, but Ican tell you that they all had
the same theme and I cut each ofthose ties because of the way I
was being treated.
And so it's less about cuttinga tie for a reason, because, you
(08:11):
know, I want to move to adifferent country or become a
digital nomad, or, you know,people give all these kinds of
reasons, of lifestyle changes orgoals or dreams.
My ties were always cut becauseof the way I was being treated,
and I decided to tell the world, the universe, you know,
whatever you believe in, hey,I'm not going to tolerate this
anymore, and so I'm not going toexchange my quality of life and
(08:36):
my self-worth for a paycheck.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
That is a very big realization and that's one of
the hardest ones to go.
Did you find that the paycheckthat was secure was nothing more
than a false lie?
Once you've gotten through thehow do I pay my groceries mode,
do you see how that?
Maybe not.
I mean, do you see that maybe,like well, that's just kind of
(09:00):
I've been sold a lie on thatsteady idea.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Yeah, exactly Because the thing is, the places that
have been the most steady sourceof income for me and you know,
I am a consultant, I run amarketing agency, so we have
multiple clients at a time andwhen I think about the clients
that I've had the longestrelationship with, it's always
been where I'm treated like apartner, like a valuable
(09:26):
resource, like someone who's apart of the team, even though
I'm technically a third partyvendor.
And it's been the situationswhere, even when the paycheck
was the biggest one I had everbrought in, where that was the
most precarious and I knew thatI wasn't being valued as a
member of the team and I wasbeing basically treated like
(09:49):
shit if I can say that on thispodcast and the temptation of
sticking with it and, just, youknow, gritting my teeth and
bearing it that was on the otherside of the teeter-totter was
this big paycheck that was goingto, you know, keep our business
afloat and keep my teamwell-paid and all of that.
(10:11):
But I knew that because thisone person who was the linchpin
of the relationship was notinvested in the relationship.
That paycheck could go away atany moment and so I needed to be
the one to say you know what?
I'm not doing this, I'm notputting up with this.
I don't care how much moneyit's for, we're just going to go
(10:32):
our own way, because thenyou're choosing your own fate.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
That's a hard one.
It's like firing a client orsomething else.
I got to tell you at the time Icouldn't afford to fire that
client, but I also couldn'tafford to lose a whole team over
it.
Then what happens?
You don't pick a client likethat in the future, exactly and
really, or you charge them somuch.
You're like, guys, it's goingto suck, I'm going to pay you
extra, yeah.
And they're like, yeah, we getit, Thanks.
So I agree, what's been kind ofthe impact in your life since
(11:01):
you know it's been a while,right, but you've had this
journey?
Maybe the impact I'd like tohear about is when you decided
to just focus on that one thingand go from.
Well, I'll draw on.
The screen here is like an upand down arrow.
It's the revenue cycle of feastand fathom, which is what many
entrepreneurs go through whenthey're not focused on the thing
that makes the money.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
And it sounds like you would.
So, when you got out of that,what was?
What's been the impact foryourself or clients, or however
you'd like to measure it?
Speaker 2 (11:28):
I mean, it's been across the board.
The impact for me is I get tofocus on what I really really
enjoy, which is being creativeand creating content and being
the creative director for ourcontent strategies and tying in
all of the psychological modelsthat I love and that I just nerd
out on.
I get to weave all thattogether and focus just on that,
(11:51):
and for a long time I thought,okay, well, we need to be a
full-service agency, we need todo ads and we need to do social
media and we need to do allthese things that I actually
hate.
I hate ads, I hate it.
So when I finally decided, okay, we're just going to niche down
into what we do best, which iscontent production and making
(12:11):
sure that every piece of contenthas those psychological
underpinnings, that's wheneverything started to come
together, because that's what webecame known for.
That's what we were able to getreally good at.
Our clients benefited more, webenefited more and we're able to
really refine.
If you're in the marketingworld, you know that things are
constantly changing.
(12:32):
Every day, you wake up to anemail newsletter that has some
new innovation or technology orsomething that's going to make
you freak out, because now thewhole game is different, and
when you focus on just one thingthat you're really good at,
that's all you have to worryabout.
You don't have to worry aboutall the other noise.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
It's the entrepreneur , and out you don't have to
worry about all the other noiseit's the entrepreneur.
And this is like a lot ofentrepreneurs are ADD because
they can't survive, and so I seethis pattern specifically.
When you get comfortable thatyou don't have to chase every
opportunity, or you just startseeing that you can make money
on one opportunity and just keepfocused on that, that's a
beautiful thing, and if you cannever get there, I do suggest
you do something about that,because if you feel like, oh, I
(13:10):
need to go here, I want to takethat, I want to go, do that.
You are setting yourself up fora miserable.
You know like you're just goingto be horrible, it's going to
be.
You're going to endlessly workand not get anywhere.
You're going to just derail it.
Did someone tell you that,though?
Did someone go?
Hey, focus on this.
What was the breakthrough?
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Yeah, the moment was actually, and it's been so long
now that sometimes I forget thatthis happened.
But I'm glad that you askedbecause if I think back to the
moment when I had that, aha, Iwas actually on a sales call
with a potential client and theyasked me so do you have a
background in business or inmarketing or something?
And I got really embarrassedand I'm pretty sure my cheeks
turned bright red and luckily itwas a phone call, not a Zoom
(13:56):
call, so they couldn't see me.
But I kind of stammered and Isaid oh, you know, no, I don't
have a degree in business or inmarketing.
Actually, my degrees are inpsychology and criminology.
And I thought that was going tobe a huge knock against me and
in fact that client leaned inand they go oh really, that's
actually really interestingbecause there's so much overlap
between marketing and psychology.
(14:17):
I think it could be a realasset to our team and it was
that I very rarely need externalvalidation, but it was that
conversation that made me go.
Oh, I don't have to be ashamedof pivoting careers and going
from something that I thoughtwas completely unrelated into
this marketing world that I love.
I can actually marry the two,and ever since then it's just
(14:41):
been a constant merger ofeverything that I learned in my
schooling, as well as working inmental hospitals and drug rehab
facilities and communitycounseling centers, and bringing
all of that together into thecontent marketing world.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Yeah, I'll go back to listening.
Like right, like that is anabsolute advantage in marketing
is having a psychologybackground.
100 because it's, it's just,it's a different understanding
of what works when you read anddo things, of how that will
impact people at like, an actualphysiological level yeah I had
it.
Don't have this going for it now.
I'm just gonna outsource it.
So seriously at this point, you, you, it's just too much.
(15:18):
And in yours you had clinical,so it's not like you did it,
learned it and this appliedtextbooks.
Anybody can go do that honestly.
You could youtube that whenyou're sitting across it's just
too much.
And yours you had clinical, soit's not like you did it,
learned it and just appliedtextbooks.
Anybody can go do that honestly.
You could YouTube that.
When you're sitting acrosssomebody who has made some
really shitty decisions in lifeand continues to, and you've
gotten to understand the whybehind that, you're at a whole
new level of understanding.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
And I say that because I've seen people who
were in.
Just I know it's an advantage.
She's not paying me to say this, everybody, I'm just telling
you.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Yeah, and my favorite things to think back on now in
marketing when my wholeprofessional world is marketing,
my favorite things to thinkback on are actually the times
when I was sitting with patientsat a drug rehab facility I
worked at in San Diego andeveryone who was there was
either on probation or paroleand I had patients who had
(16:07):
schizophrenia, antisocialpersonality disorder, lifelong.
I'm talking 50 years ofsubstance abuse behavior and
thinking about the models andinterventions and therapeutic
frameworks that worked with themto change their deeply, deeply
ingrained behaviors.
That's when I have these lightbulb moments of this is what the
(16:31):
brain actually needs, this iswhat the soul actually needs,
this is what the humans actuallyneed and, ultimately, that's
what marketing is.
It's forming relationships andhelping people see a path
forward in a direction that theyhad never before considered,
because it either looked tooscary or they didn't even know
that it was there yeah, or they,they, it takes a step like like
(16:52):
they're the, the frozen animalthat just wants to feel safe to
come into something warm, butdoesn't know.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
he's like okay, I feel safe going in there.
I like I know I need air, itI'm freezing to death, but I
don't trust any of these houses.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Right, especially when people have been burned
before by other.
You know companies and peoplewho say that they provide the
service that they're looking forand actually end up just taking
tens of thousands of dollars.
And yeah, there's a lot ofhealing that has to happen in
marketing.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
It's funny you use this word burn For where I take
my company.
We actually are beginning toverify agencies.
That's the pivot to our companyand so we have a and we
actually use Lee with never getburned again.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Oh, I love that.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Our logo is actually a hashtag with a fire Like it's
like never get burned again,Pick a verified agency.
So it's pretty sure it doesfeel burn that you look at, you
touch it and like that thatstill hurts it stings.
Yes, yeah.
What are you most grateful fortoday?
Speaker 2 (17:49):
oh, this is probably gonna sound super cheesy and
cliche, but my husband, he'sbeen through every single twist
and turn and change and whenI've decided to make these big
cuts, these big cutting of theties, he's been there to support
me, even when it's terrifying,because firing a client means
losing 74% of our revenue.
(18:09):
You know, and I decided to makethat cut, he's been right there
with me saying we can do it, noproblem.
You know, this is the rightcall and let's do the right call
, not the easy thing.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Wonderful.
What's the, what's the tieyou're afraid to cut today?
Speaker 2 (18:25):
oh yeah, I've been thinking about this ever since
your last.
Get through this out there.
That's a potential question andI'm I'm trying to pick him
virtually no, like what am Igonna answer that one?
yeah, um, you know, I think forme and I think you know I'm glad
that you mentioned earlier yourown like lifestyle changes that
(18:47):
you've had to cut ties with,because I think that's
ultimately what it comes down tofor me I have such a bad habit
of being a workaholic, that is,it is so deeply ingrained in my
identity and my way of being.
It's always work, work, work.
Deeply ingrained in my identityand my way of being.
It's always work, work, work,work, work.
(19:08):
You know, my husband teases mebecause I have very few hobbies
and if I do have a little listof hobbies, I spend maybe 20
minutes per month or per quarteron them.
I always say work is my hobby.
Building a business, yeah, yeah, micro hobby, work is
everything I do and that's notexactly healthy.
And so I think what I the tiethat I really need to cut is
(19:29):
work being such a ginormous partof my identity and really
getting back to, yeah, butwhat's healthy for me long-term?
And making those lifestylechanges to balance out work and,
in my case, like health andbeing outside and things like
that.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
You?
Uh, I would not wait on thatone, and so you know, as I meet
lots of people in spectrums ages, the ones that are really
degradating on, and theirbiggest regret is they never
picked up something tennis,pickleball and their biggest
regret is they never picked upsomething tennis, pickleball,
anything that's outdoor related,that allows them to.
Man, I'm so excited to go fillin the blank because then they
(20:09):
get to where they can't, theydon't want to work anymore, they
can or whatever, and then theythey, they're done fast.
So I would take that one withthe idea that my health depends,
my life depends on that at 60.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Yeah, so like, really , like you know.
So, just conscious of our time,because I know you have a hard
shot, I want to know what's thequestion that I should have
asked you that I didn't ask youtoday, though.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Oh, um, maybe you know one of the questions I love
to get asked because I kind ofgo off on a little bit of a
soapbox tirade about it iswhat's wrong with B2B marketing
today and my podcast.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
One liner on that one .
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah, keep me in check here on this because I
could come off for a while but Ithink it's the biggest B2B
mistake is thinking that B2Bdeals are all logic based and
all based on features andbenefits, and they're not.
They are known by humans whowant relationships and who want
emotional connection andvalidation towards their goals,
and there's so much more thatgoes into B2B deals than just
(21:11):
features and benefits.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Agreed.
When I coach people, the firststep is the desperate problem
you solve For a B2B person.
It's not get me more leads orwhatever.
It's keep my job.
Don't get me fired.
That doesn't look good.
Right, don't make, that mightbe the B answer.
Make me look good, it'd be an Aplus.
You're spot on.
There's a group of peopleyou're selling to with one
(21:34):
influence and there's a wholepiece psychology behind that.
And you're right.
Yeah, nailed it.
Shameless plug for you TimeOnce again.
Who should get a hold of youand where should they do that?
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Yeah.
So I really love working withmarketing teams of zero to five
in B2B companies because we canhelp them move faster, smarter
and with psychological precisionto get more out of every single
piece of content that they'recreating.
And I've worked with companiesover the years who a company
(22:10):
that I used to write blogcontent for back in 2018,
they're still making money offof the content that they paid me
a couple hundred bucks for andit's that kind of ROI that,
long-term, it just gets betterand better and better every
month over month.
That's what I love to createfor companies Wonderful Thank
you so much by the I love tocreate for companies Wonderful.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Thank you so much, by the way, for coming on today.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Yeah, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Get older on LinkedIn .
You know R-A-I-C-O-O-R-N-E-L-Lin the show notes, but thank you
for coming on.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Yeah, thanks so much.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Everybody who made it to this point.
Thank you for listeningwatching.
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