Cut The Tie Podcast with Clifford Starks
What if the only thing holding you back was the belief that you’re not enough?
In this empowering episode of Cut The Tie, Thomas Helfrich sits down with Clifford Starks, former UFC fighter turned peak performance coach, to explore what it really means to lead from within. Clifford shares how his journey—from an overweight teen to elite athlete to entrepreneur—was never about talent or luck. It was about mindset, resilience, and choosing growth even in the face of fear.
He opens up about the toughest tie he had to cut: staying silent. Clifford explains how asking for help transformed his business, his family life, and his own personal evolution—and why vulnerability is the hidden superpower of successful leaders.
If you’re stuck in achievement mode, craving purpose, or afraid to admit you don’t have it all figured out, this episode is your wake-up call.
About Clifford Starks
Clifford Starks is a performance coach, speaker, and founder of Starks Transformational Coaching. A former UFC fighter, Clifford now helps high-performing entrepreneurs and executives master their mindset, reconnect with their purpose, and lead with integrity. Drawing on his experience in elite athletics and personal development, he guides leaders toward sustainable success across business, health, and relationships.
He’s also a devoted husband and father, passionate about building a legacy rooted in values, clarity, and growth.
In this episode, Thomas and Clifford discuss:
- The tie of silence
Why Clifford’s biggest shift came when he started asking for help—and why that decision unlocked a new level of freedom. - From octagon to ownership
How elite athletic performance shaped Clifford’s approach to business and mindset coaching. - The power of “I don’t know”
Clifford explains how embracing curiosity and releasing ego transformed his personal and professional life. - What performance really means
It’s not about grinding harder—it’s about aligning your mind, mission, and methods. - Family, legacy, and fulfillment
Clifford shares how fatherhood and marriage reshaped his definition of success—and what he wants his kids to see in his journey.
Key Takeaways:
- You can’t grow until you ask for help
Real leadership starts with vulnerability and the courage to say “I don’t know.” - Your identity isn’t static
From fighter to founder to father—Clifford proves you can rewrite your story at any stage. - Performance isn’t hustle—it’s alignment
True success is built when your habits match your purpose. - Let go of the ego
Ego keeps you stuck. Curiosity moves you forward. - Legacy starts now
The version of you your kids see today is the story they’ll tell tomorrow.
Connect with Clifford Starks
💼 LinkedIn: Clifford Starks
Connect with Thomas Helfrich
🐦 Twitter: @thelfrich
📘 Facebook: Cut the Tie Group
💼 LinkedIn: Thomas Helfrich
🌐 Website: www.cutthetie.com
📧 Email: t@instantlyrelevant.com
🚀 InstantlyRelevant.com
Serious about LinkedIn Lead Generation? Stop Guessing what to do on LinkedIn and ignite revenue from relevance with Instantly Relevant Lead System
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Cut the Tie podcast.
Hello, I'm your host, ThomasHelfrich.
I'm on a mission to help youcut a tie to whatever it is
holding you back from success,and that success is defined by
you.
And today I'm joined byClifford Starks.
Clifford, how are you?
Speaker 2 (00:13):
I'm doing amazing.
Thank you, looking forward toget into this.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
I love it.
I always answer I'm deliciousor tantalizing, because that way
people have to go look upRuth's second word.
But amazing is a much morepowerful word than good.
Thank you, Clifford.
Take a moment, Introduceyourself and what it is you do.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Yeah, my name is Clifford Starks.
I support leaders who want to.
Either they're performing at ahigh level and they want to get
to another level, or they justwant to perform at the high
level for their first time ever.
I support entrepreneurs,business owners and anyone who
has a passion to grow, learn andachieve more out of their life
and their business.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
And when you said another level, I assumed you
mean up versus I actually wantto get worse.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Yeah, yeah.
I haven't seen anyone who saidthat, but I might take on that
challenge.
I don't know, I'd like tobecome less.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Less.
That's a new one.
Wouldn't that be a weirdconversation?
That would be unique.
You Google any idea, anybusiness.
There's a million peoplealready doing it In your space.
It's very competitive as well.
There's a lot of people who dothis.
Why you?
What's the uniquedifferentiator that you have?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
I have done a couple crazy things on my journey.
I was an overweight kid andended up losing the weight.
I lost 80 pounds.
I was a male figure who trainedwomen for a living and got
weight off of them.
That was interesting because,let me tell you, men and women
think completely different, sothere's a lot of learning
experiences there, and I havestepped inside of a UFC cage and
(01:52):
became an entrepreneur and Iquickly, quickly realized that
the UFC and being a businessowner is much the same.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
A lot of the things that people do not see are the
most important things to do Icould imagine stepping the ufc
cage I I have no interest ingetting punched or punching
anyone or kicking anyone.
Like I've gotten through mylife without a fight.
Uh, not saying I haven't beenon the ground wrestling or how
to do, but I've never like gonefisticuffs of somebody where we
(02:21):
were like nice, I've usuallyI've usually used my words to
trick them in mind, make themthink a second.
Like you know, what are yougoing to say?
I was like, oh, you know, giveme an example.
I remember this kid wanted tofight me.
I didn't have any wounds.
I was like, oh, clearly you'vedone a lot of karate, right.
(02:41):
And he was like what does thisguy know?
He backed off.
It was amazing.
I was like I don't know shit.
But I was like I didn't know iteither, but I know you don't,
so I love it.
I thought it was amazing whathe got.
I was like, exactly, thinkabout what you're about to do.
Now I'm also like, at the time,210 pounds person, and this
(03:03):
person was not.
But the small guys, the oneswho always scared me, I'm like,
god damn, these guys got nothingto lose.
The five-year-old guy gettingall mad at me.
I'm like he's going to knock meout.
Anyway, that probably won'tmake the cut for it, but I
wanted to share that with youWithout a fight.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
So I got these ears right here.
Wow, those are rustling ears.
Those are right here these days.
Wow, there's a rustic hearing.
Those are awesome.
Years and um, as I I go, theolder I get, the the wiser I get
at playing this, this game.
And so when you can look at,okay, what are my advantages and
what are my disadvantages?
He, he basically gave you hiscard on yeah, I don't know, I
(03:42):
don't know, karate, did you takeit like?
Speaker 1 (03:44):
I could just tell him he wasn't a fighter.
I mean, he was standing flatlike he was about to go weaver
stance with the gut.
I was like what are you gonnado here?
You're not even.
You have no lead, like at leastI, you know.
I was like that doesn't waste,it's the guy that don't say
anything you have to worry about, because it just hits you first
, since the guy's talking hismouth like I didn't know
anything.
Um, anyway, uh, you're uh thethe two things I'll leave.
(04:07):
Guys, if you see somebody whohas cauliflower here or their
neck is wider than their head,don't mess with them, period.
Don't say a word, because theywill own you on.
You'll be on the ground in in a, in a knot and minutes.
Just, I'm pleased to be.
You come out and the guy's likelooking at you and just shaking
(04:27):
his head, like stop talking, orI'm going to make you stop
talking.
That guy is serious.
Yep, it's actually.
You know who it is.
You got to look out for him.
It's the white dudes who yell alot out of their car because
then they wrench for a gun.
Those are the scariest humanson the planet, that's pretty
terrifying.
Yeah, if those are the rednecks,you got to look out for the
rednecks.
(04:47):
You hear a yeehaw people One.
Leave it out there.
Nothing against rednecks, alittle bit, all right.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
How do you define success?
So success to me is acombination of two specific
things.
One, it's feeling fulfilled inwhat I'm doing, so got to love
what it is that I'm doing.
And then two is my achievements.
So what results am I getting?
What rewards am I getting?
Why am I doing what I'm doing?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
So I want to enjoy it , but I also want to get a
result too.
Yeah, that's a competitivenature in you.
Just mindless enjoyment is justa dopamine rush versus a sense
of accomplishment.
Right, if you're describingthere, now defining the
accomplishment, it could be inmoney, it could be in sport, it
could be in faith, it could bein family.
Did you have one?
Just so I can narrow in thesuccess for a little bit of
(05:34):
where you-.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Yeah, yeah.
So what was really interesting,what I'm noticing, at least
what I've noticed on my journeyif I focus on one, the others
will actually follow, and what Imean by that is focus on the
lessons, not just the result,Like I said, enjoying it and
(06:00):
getting the achievement.
So if I say, like, I love mybusiness but my health is
suffering and my relationshipsare suffering, that means I
don't have business figured out,Because to have business
figured out like if you reallycreate a business, a business is
something that can sustain byitself, and so I look at life as
okay, what's the one focus andwhat's going to teach me the
lessons that I need to learn sothat I can be a complete human
(06:25):
being?
As I go through my journey, Igo oh, this is a game of
leadership.
Always been the best leader youcan be.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
I'm personally going through that too.
So I'm about five years into anentrepreneurial journey where
you start off typically with Icall it the three Ps right, you
got, you got a passion, you gotsome potential and you got a
problem you solve.
You are generally the oneleading that in a.
In a you create, you typicallywill come out at creating your
own job for yourself.
That's what it is, and and, and.
That's a great way to start.
(06:53):
It's almost every entrepreneurdoes start.
I'm in that phase of I don'twant to do this 10 years from
now.
How do I build a business thatI can remove myself for, which
means I can sell and exit, butalso I can grow it, I can scale
it, and you don't realize this,maybe right away, or you do, you
just don't know how to solve it, and I'm going through that
right now.
So I totally get it, becausethat's what it is a business
(07:15):
when there's a lead and dealflow and you don't have to be a
part of everything that goes on.
So absolutely yeah, yeah, or,by the way, that's.
I think I'm finding that to bea very hard step in life, so
maybe I'll talk to you offline.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
And and uh, in your journey you had to cut a tie to
get to where you are, to thesuccess you just defined for
yourself.
What was the biggest tie youhad to cut?
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Honestly what you, what you just said transparently
is hey, this is, this is one ofthe toughest things that I'm
that I'm going through learningto speak out what my challenges
were, because I didn't know howto do that.
Like I was really really goodat figuring out the problem and
(08:00):
being really really quiet aboutmy journey, my story, what I w,
what I was struggling with,Cause I thought that's what you
do you figure it out, you makeit happen, you do what you got
to do.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Yeah, the uh, you're describing something even deeper
, uh, in what it drives into andI and I you and I were talking
a little offline before this,but, uh, I'm sure with everybody
I can only get the perspectiveof men because of myself and
that we feel very compelled toshow a face of success to our
loved ones, to the friends, thecircles around us.
(08:33):
And as we don't figure thingsout or figure things out, we put
the face forward and you startfeeling like you almost have a
second persona alive and thenyou feel very alone, sometimes
in your own thoughts and yourown world, even though you're
surrounded by people who supportyou or not, and because it's
hard to be that vulnerableperson.
That's like I don't really knowwhat I'm doing right now.
(08:53):
I'm really struggling, but I'm,I gotta keep going.
You know you're getting punched.
You're UFC, you're gettingpunched in the face.
I got to figure a way to defendthis and win this fight,
otherwise I'm going to getknocked out.
Yeah, right, and, and so, anyway, I, I the be on the flip side
to say I need help.
This is my journey.
I, I, I don't know.
(09:14):
I don't know.
I think that's what you'realluding to.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Yeah, yeah, well, I, I look at like my um 2025, right
Cause I say what, whatever?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
whatever we focus on gross, where attention goes,
energy flows, and mine was toask for help, like that was
literally my goal for 2025 andit was not normal for me, like
it wasn't a normal thing for meto do.
No, I that I mean good for you,because, uh, yeah, I mean I
could do it.
I could do the social, thispart solo.
So I'm gonna just pause.
We're gonna keep moving forwardhere.
No, no, I get it.
I have a book about it comingout, anyway.
So that's exactly.
It's Cut the Tie and therelease date's unknown.
(10:02):
A big part of writing a book,by the way, is procrastination.
I don't know if you guys knowthat.
It's like 95% of it.
It is far from it.
Yes, what was your moment?
The the aha moment, when yourealized I need to cut that tie?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
when my coach challenged me to cut it because
I didn't even know I was doingit.
There's a there's a sayingsometimes you don't know what
you're doing until someonepoints it out.
It's good, coach.
Yeah, that's very good.
She's amazing at what she does.
I'll actually give her a shoutout.
Uh, her name is laurenarchibald.
Now she's a coach, guide,mentor, consultant very good.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Well, I'm happy to you know, listen in any
endorsement.
And now you have to bring heron the show.
You have to, you have to inviteher in, oh yeah yeah, yeah,
I'll connect with this.
Uh, do you remember how you?
You did that, though you know?
It's one thing that it's onething to know the tie, it's, you
know, identify, which is huge.
It's another to remember, torealize the moment, right of
like, oh, I, I'm gonna do this.
Then comes the how.
(11:02):
Yeah, what?
How did you do it?
Or how are you doing it?
If you're working through it?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
um, by just asking more people for help, because I
it's just like anything else,like you're not good at it until
you do it, and then you getbetter at it.
Right, and one one of my mainskills is execution know how to
execute.
So when I see something, I canexecute on that thing.
(11:28):
And I know it feels actually alittle bit uncomfortable, if not
a lot of uncomfortable, toexecute it at first, just like
anything that we do.
But when we do it enough timeswe get better at it and we start
mastering it and we startgetting deeper and deeper and
understanding the nuances moreand more.
So the how usually is the easypart for me, just like the cage,
(11:52):
the cage in the back usually isthe easy part for me, just like
the cage, the cage in the back.
I just need the awareness toeven know that I have to do this
thing because I never.
There's a saying a fish onlyknows that it's in the water
when it's out of the water, andso we're in layers of water and
we get pulled out of one layerof water and go like, oh wow, I
figured something out.
And then you get pulled like oh, my goodness, there's more to
(12:16):
learn and there's more growingto do and eventually, like I'm
44 now and I go oh crap, thisgame never stops.
You never stop learning, younever stop growing.
You just keep stepping further.
You see bigger and biggerperspectives, you get bigger and
bigger insights and you justreally start polishing those
lessons up.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Don't you wish you were as smart as you were when
you knew everything in the 20s?
Speaker 2 (12:43):
You know what is so crazy?
It was interesting.
My journey is a bit different,it's a little unique, but one
thing that I maintain iscuriosity, and I've had
curiosity since I was a kid.
I'm just a really curiousperson and I said to myself the
one thing that I know is I don'tknow that much and I ended up
(13:05):
connecting with he's a goodfriend now these days, and he
goes.
That's a very wise thing to say.
I never even thought of that asbeing wisdom to be curious yeah
and so, as I went through myjourney, I I started learning
like if I can tell anyoneanything.
Curiosity is one of the mostfreeing, powerful things that
(13:26):
you can do, because when Imaintain curiosity, I feel light
, when I don't, I feel heavy.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Well, you're describing some pieces there
with the, the, how uh, one oneis is allowing yourself the
space not to be judged, or the,the fear of of, of sucking, like
I have a fear of like sucking.
So it's like I just put out myfirst kind of course for YouTube
for free and I'm like I knowit's like not great, but it's
like I don't care, I'm justgoing to go do it the first time
and you have these fears thatyou tie stuff to.
But as soon as you let it go,it becomes easy and or easier,
and with the idea and themindset that I I'm going to do
(14:00):
it and just learn from it andimprove it.
And you know I can make fun ofmyself later of how bad that was
, but that that's a one week itwas.
If you are coasting, you'regoing downhill and you're on the
decline and it's so true,metaphorically, like if you're
not curious, you're not learning, you're not trying to climb,
(14:22):
you're not jumping out of waterto see what being out of the
water is, like that impostersyndrome.
You're not growing and you'renot learning from the experience
, because it's just notsignificant enough to do
anything for you.
You're just kind of riding itand it's easy, and there's
there's times you should coastbecause you got to take a break.
You know you don't have to fillin the pedal the whole time,
but if you're, if you findyourself coasting and you notice
it, you might want to dosomething different for your
(14:43):
thought.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
You know I, I tell people, just enjoy it, Enjoy
your journey, Enjoy it fully,like even you.
Talking about you, one, I wantto say congratulations for
getting your YouTube video outthere.
And then, two, you don't knowwho it's going to serve.
(15:04):
You know you might servesomeone and transform them, and
you didn't even know you weregoing to do that.
And that's how I kind of lookat the journey.
Is I?
I set my intention out there,like, look, this is what I'm
looking to do, this is what I'mlooking to serve, this is what
I'm looking to support, and Ilet the chips fall where they're
going to fall, cause the onething that I do know is that I
don't always know what peopleare going to like, what's going
(15:27):
to serve them, what they'regoing to appreciate, and
sometimes it's the thing.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
I'm like that's the thing they wanted to hear, like,
yeah, that was the thing theywanted to hear.
I agreed and it's uh.
I'm not questioning the journey.
I'm trying to look as manythings in life that's happening
for me, even when I'm like, oh,I really wish this wasn't
happening to him.
You're in him now, um and andlike that perspective is crazy.
Hey, awesome, come be a part ofit.
That's totally like listen,that's like the best, the whole
reason we do anything, what's up?
Hello For those listening.
(15:57):
The, the, the, the mostimportant people in his life,
just appeared on on on the show.
It's great.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
He shared that story with me it's funny I'll be
(16:29):
telling good stories too.
Yeah, well, what?
What question were you asking,me or him?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
He's your podcatcher.
My next question for you ispretty simple what are you most
grateful for?
But I think it just walked inthe room.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Yeah, yeah, I am grateful to be alive, I'm
grateful for the present moment,grateful for my kids, grateful
for my wife Been married 18years yeah, 18 years.
And uh, yeah, we have oureight-year-old and our
four-year-old.
And it's been.
It's been a ride in a journey,riding the waves and having a
lot of fun on the ups, the downs, the lefts and the rights right
(17:15):
, what, uh what advice would yougive the listener?
you're amazing.
I think people need to hearthat a lot more.
I think, um, as I go throughthis journey, one of my greatest
lessons it was it wasinteresting.
As you said, you're open forracism politics, speaking on
(17:36):
anything, and I respect thatbecause, like I say, I look back
here and this is the arena.
We're stepping in it all thetime and sometimes we don't even
realize that we're stepping init.
Um, I, I lived in Ahwatukee andit was actually called Ahwatukee
.
It was not the most, uh, funexperiences, but I learned a lot
, and the biggest thing that Ilearned is that everyone's
(18:00):
really the same more than theyrealize.
And I also learned, like, it'simportant that people feel good
about themselves, because whenpeople feel good, they want
others to feel good.
It's just in our nature, and soI I just send out that reminder
to everyone Like, if you'relooking to, if you want to feel
good or make others feel good,feel good about you first, and
(18:21):
it's going to take leadership,it's going to take looking
within, but no one, no one else,can make you feel small except
for yourself, and everyone hasto go through that journey on
their, on their own, and learnthat.
Learn that journey on their owntime.
Yep, that's solid advice?
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Who gives you inspiration?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
everybody does.
You know, I I find there's.
I look at the world asdualistic and there's a pro and
a con to everything and you getto choose how you're going to
look at it.
So I say I get inspirationbeing on with you, having this
laptop that I get to be on mykid, being able to interrupt me
and not getting in any troublelike that one newscaster, that
poor guy, his kids came comingin and the mom's like oh
(19:08):
goodness.
So I'm just inspired by it allbecause I get to see it for the
positive or the negative.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
That's great.
What's some of the bestbusiness advice you've received?
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Find someone who has actually done the thing and
helped others do the thing.
You want someone who cancommunicate effectively so that
you can take effective actions Ilike that.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
That's tough when you have a new idea.
I will say that's a but there's.
There's still probably adviceto get, but what's your what's
kind of that?
Recommended must read book.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Thinking grow rich is the first thing that pops into
my head, because it goes so deepinto the power of desire.
I'm really big on desire and Inotice there's our desires and
there's our doubts.
And when we hold on to ourdesire, we'll figure it.
(20:06):
Our desire, we'll figure it out, we'll figure it out.
If we hold on to our doubts,we'll we'll figure that out too.
The doubts get heavy and theyhave us walk away from our
desires yeah, what?
Speaker 1 (20:13):
it's a quote from a song.
It's it's not the world that'sheavy, it's the things that you
save right, yeah, I love that.
Let go of some stuff once in awhile.
I think it's a Neil Young song.
By the way, it's called JerkingAway.
You're going to have to tellRob it's hokey, but I like it.
That's me, though.
If you could start over todayat any one period of your life,
(20:40):
what period of life would you goback to, and what would you do
differently?
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Wow, that's a good question.
Um, probably 19.
The only thing I would dodifferently is document
everything, and I don't evenknow if I could tell that 19
year old to document everything.
I don't even know if he'dunderstand what I was saying,
but I, I've learned.
(21:05):
Yeah, I've learned so much, andwhat I?
What I love about the journeyis when it's documented.
You can share it with others aslearning lessons for them, if
it supports them.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
I like that.
So in that advice, you shouldstart documenting everything now
.
Maybe you are.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Oh yeah just, oh, big , big time, big time.
Yeah, I have.
Um, I am documenting now likeI've never documented before,
and I, six years ago, sevenyears ago, if you said you were
going to do this, I'd be like,no, I'm not going to.
But it's crazy, I'm learningtoo it's interesting, I didn't
realize.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
You, I've done a lot of shows but I didn't realize,
kind of when I was doing it.
Like my kids will be able tosee those forever and uh, and my
kids will be like, oh well, youknow, daddy or grandpa or
whatever it was here, here, youknow anyway.
So I I didn't, I didn't kind ofrealize that and it's kind of a
neat thing and it's uh, it's,it's in the documentation kind
of idea of what to do.
So if there was one question Ishould have asked you today, and
(22:05):
I didn't.
What would that question havebeen and how do you answer it?
Speaker 2 (22:12):
that's a good question in and of itself.
So what I would say?
There was one question youdidn't ask me.
There was one question youdidn't ask me.
Well, you asked me why I dowhat I do, which I do love and
then it's what got you startedand why you do what you do, and
(22:33):
what got me started and why I dowhat I do?
I was an overweight kid whowanted something different, and
I went after it and I got tohear a lot of people who cheered
me on and people who booed me.
And there's one person he saidyou're going to have two people
cheering and 20 people booing.
And I could say that's verytrue, but they're not booing you
(22:56):
, they're booing their owndreams that they haven't
realized.
And so go realize your dream.
Go realize your dream.
And the more you realize yourdream, the more people start
taking their blinders off andstart realizing theirs.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
I love that.
Clifford, thank you so much forcoming on today.
I appreciate every minute.
Yeah, thomas, thank you, Iappreciate it.
I call it the shame with plugtime.
Who should get ahold of you andhow do they do that?
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Yeah, if you're a high performer and you're
looking to continue to perform,continue to build that legacy
and you just you don't know howto do that or who can support uh
, please reach out and if you'relooking to be a high performer,
if you're like you know what Iwant to.
I want to build a legacy, Iwant to do amazing things.
I want to be the leader that Iknow I'm capable of being.
(23:43):
Love to be, love to connectwith you as well, and the way
you connect with me, either onLinkedIn or on Facebook under
Clifford Starks, and just reachout, let me know.
You were on, cut the tie and Ihave a conversation with you.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Wonderful.
Thank you again so much forcoming in today.
I'm very grateful for the timeyou've given me.
Yeah, yeah, thank you forhaving me Listen.
Everyone still watching,listening.
I appreciate you getting here.
If this was your first timehere, I hope it's the first of
many.
Go out there.
Go figure out what ties youneed to cut, find a way to cut
them and start working toward it1% a day at worst, right, and
get better you.
Welcome to Cut the Tie podcast.
Hello, I'm your host, ThomasHelfrich.
I'm on a mission to help youcut a tie to whatever it is
holding you back from success,and that success is defined by
you.
And today I'm joined byClifford Starks.
Clifford, how are you?
Speaker 2 (00:13):
I'm doing amazing.
Thank you, looking forward toget into this.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
I love it.
I always answer I'm deliciousor tantalizing, because that way
people have to go look upRuth's second word.
But amazing is a much morepowerful word than good.
Thank you, Clifford.
Take a moment, Introduceyourself and what it is you do.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Yeah, my name is Clifford Starks.
I support leaders who want to.
Either they're performing at ahigh level and they want to get
to another level, or they justwant to perform at the high
level for their first time ever.
I support entrepreneurs,business owners and anyone who
has a passion to grow, learn andachieve more out of their life
and their business.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
And when you said another level, I assumed you
mean up versus I actually wantto get worse.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Yeah, yeah.
I haven't seen anyone who saidthat, but I might take on that
challenge.
I don't know, I'd like tobecome less.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Less.
That's a new one.
Wouldn't that be a weirdconversation?
That would be unique.
You Google any idea, anybusiness.
There's a million peoplealready doing it In your space.
It's very competitive as well.
There's a lot of people who dothis.
Why you?
What's the uniquedifferentiator that you have?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
I have done a couple crazy things on my journey.
I was an overweight kid andended up losing the weight.
I lost 80 pounds.
I was a male figure who trainedwomen for a living and got
weight off of them.
That was interesting because,let me tell you, men and women
think completely different, sothere's a lot of learning
experiences there, and I havestepped inside of a UFC cage and
(01:52):
became an entrepreneur and Iquickly, quickly realized that
the UFC and being a businessowner is much the same.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
A lot of the things that people do not see are the
most important things to do Icould imagine stepping the ufc
cage I I have no interest ingetting punched or punching
anyone or kicking anyone.
Like I've gotten through mylife without a fight.
Uh, not saying I haven't beenon the ground wrestling or how
to do, but I've never like gonefisticuffs of somebody where we
(02:21):
were like nice, I've usuallyI've usually used my words to
trick them in mind, make themthink a second.
Like you know, what are yougoing to say?
I was like, oh, you know, giveme an example.
I remember this kid wanted tofight me.
I didn't have any wounds.
I was like, oh, clearly you'vedone a lot of karate, right.
(02:41):
And he was like what does thisguy know?
He backed off.
It was amazing.
I was like I don't know shit.
But I was like I didn't know iteither, but I know you don't,
so I love it.
I thought it was amazing whathe got.
I was like, exactly, thinkabout what you're about to do.
Now I'm also like, at the time,210 pounds person, and this
(03:03):
person was not.
But the small guys, the oneswho always scared me, I'm like,
god damn, these guys got nothingto lose.
The five-year-old guy gettingall mad at me.
I'm like he's going to knock meout.
Anyway, that probably won'tmake the cut for it, but I
wanted to share that with youWithout a fight.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
So I got these ears right here.
Wow, those are rustling ears.
Those are right here these days.
Wow, there's a rustic hearing.
Those are awesome.
Years and um, as I I go, theolder I get, the the wiser I get
at playing this, this game.
And so when you can look at,okay, what are my advantages and
what are my disadvantages?
He, he basically gave you hiscard on yeah, I don't know, I
(03:42):
don't know, karate, did you takeit like?
Speaker 1 (03:44):
I could just tell him he wasn't a fighter.
I mean, he was standing flatlike he was about to go weaver
stance with the gut.
I was like what are you gonnado here?
You're not even.
You have no lead, like at leastI, you know.
I was like that doesn't waste,it's the guy that don't say
anything you have to worry about, because it just hits you first
, since the guy's talking hismouth like I didn't know
anything.
Um, anyway, uh, you're uh thethe two things I'll leave.
(04:07):
Guys, if you see somebody whohas cauliflower here or their
neck is wider than their head,don't mess with them, period.
Don't say a word, because theywill own you on.
You'll be on the ground in in a, in a knot and minutes.
Just, I'm pleased to be.
You come out and the guy's likelooking at you and just shaking
(04:27):
his head, like stop talking, orI'm going to make you stop
talking.
That guy is serious.
Yep, it's actually.
You know who it is.
You got to look out for him.
It's the white dudes who yell alot out of their car because
then they wrench for a gun.
Those are the scariest humanson the planet, that's pretty
terrifying.
Yeah, if those are the rednecks,you got to look out for the
rednecks.
(04:47):
You hear a yeehaw people One.
Leave it out there.
Nothing against rednecks, alittle bit, all right.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
How do you define success?
So success to me is acombination of two specific
things.
One, it's feeling fulfilled inwhat I'm doing, so got to love
what it is that I'm doing.
And then two is my achievements.
So what results am I getting?
What rewards am I getting?
Why am I doing what I'm doing?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
So I want to enjoy it , but I also want to get a
result too.
Yeah, that's a competitivenature in you.
Just mindless enjoyment is justa dopamine rush versus a sense
of accomplishment.
Right, if you're describingthere, now defining the
accomplishment, it could be inmoney, it could be in sport, it
could be in faith, it could bein family.
Did you have one?
Just so I can narrow in thesuccess for a little bit of
(05:34):
where you-.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Yeah, yeah.
So what was really interesting,what I'm noticing, at least
what I've noticed on my journeyif I focus on one, the others
will actually follow, and what Imean by that is focus on the
lessons, not just the result,Like I said, enjoying it and
(06:00):
getting the achievement.
So if I say, like, I love mybusiness but my health is
suffering and my relationshipsare suffering, that means I
don't have business figured out,Because to have business
figured out like if you reallycreate a business, a business is
something that can sustain byitself, and so I look at life as
okay, what's the one focus andwhat's going to teach me the
lessons that I need to learn sothat I can be a complete human
(06:25):
being?
As I go through my journey, Igo oh, this is a game of
leadership.
Always been the best leader youcan be.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
I'm personally going through that too.
So I'm about five years into anentrepreneurial journey where
you start off typically with Icall it the three Ps right, you
got, you got a passion, you gotsome potential and you got a
problem you solve.
You are generally the oneleading that in a.
In a you create, you typicallywill come out at creating your
own job for yourself.
That's what it is, and and, and.
That's a great way to start.
(06:53):
It's almost every entrepreneurdoes start.
I'm in that phase of I don'twant to do this 10 years from
now.
How do I build a business thatI can remove myself for, which
means I can sell and exit, butalso I can grow it, I can scale
it, and you don't realize this,maybe right away, or you do, you
just don't know how to solve it, and I'm going through that
right now.
So I totally get it, becausethat's what it is a business
(07:15):
when there's a lead and dealflow and you don't have to be a
part of everything that goes on.
So absolutely yeah, yeah, or,by the way, that's.
I think I'm finding that to bea very hard step in life, so
maybe I'll talk to you offline.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
And and uh, in your journey you had to cut a tie to
get to where you are, to thesuccess you just defined for
yourself.
What was the biggest tie youhad to cut?
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Honestly what you, what you just said transparently
is hey, this is, this is one ofthe toughest things that I'm
that I'm going through learningto speak out what my challenges
were, because I didn't know howto do that.
Like I was really really goodat figuring out the problem and
(08:00):
being really really quiet aboutmy journey, my story, what I w,
what I was struggling with,Cause I thought that's what you
do you figure it out, you makeit happen, you do what you got
to do.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Yeah, the uh, you're describing something even deeper
, uh, in what it drives into andI and I you and I were talking
a little offline before this,but, uh, I'm sure with everybody
I can only get the perspectiveof men because of myself and
that we feel very compelled toshow a face of success to our
loved ones, to the friends, thecircles around us.
(08:33):
And as we don't figure thingsout or figure things out, we put
the face forward and you startfeeling like you almost have a
second persona alive and thenyou feel very alone, sometimes
in your own thoughts and yourown world, even though you're
surrounded by people who supportyou or not, and because it's
hard to be that vulnerableperson.
That's like I don't really knowwhat I'm doing right now.
(08:53):
I'm really struggling, but I'm,I gotta keep going.
You know you're getting punched.
You're UFC, you're gettingpunched in the face.
I got to figure a way to defendthis and win this fight,
otherwise I'm going to getknocked out.
Yeah, right, and, and so, anyway, I, I the be on the flip side
to say I need help.
This is my journey.
I, I, I don't know.
(09:14):
I don't know.
I think that's what you'realluding to.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Yeah, yeah, well, I, I look at like my um 2025, right
Cause I say what, whatever?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
whatever we focus on gross, where attention goes,
energy flows, and mine was toask for help, like that was
literally my goal for 2025 andit was not normal for me, like
it wasn't a normal thing for meto do.
No, I that I mean good for you,because, uh, yeah, I mean I
could do it.
I could do the social, thispart solo.
So I'm gonna just pause.
We're gonna keep moving forwardhere.
No, no, I get it.
I have a book about it comingout, anyway.
So that's exactly.
It's Cut the Tie and therelease date's unknown.
(10:02):
A big part of writing a book,by the way, is procrastination.
I don't know if you guys knowthat.
It's like 95% of it.
It is far from it.
Yes, what was your moment?
The the aha moment, when yourealized I need to cut that tie?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
when my coach challenged me to cut it because
I didn't even know I was doingit.
There's a there's a sayingsometimes you don't know what
you're doing until someonepoints it out.
It's good, coach.
Yeah, that's very good.
She's amazing at what she does.
I'll actually give her a shoutout.
Uh, her name is laurenarchibald.
Now she's a coach, guide,mentor, consultant very good.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Well, I'm happy to you know, listen in any
endorsement.
And now you have to bring heron the show.
You have to, you have to inviteher in, oh yeah yeah, yeah,
I'll connect with this.
Uh, do you remember how you?
You did that, though you know?
It's one thing that it's onething to know the tie, it's, you
know, identify, which is huge.
It's another to remember, torealize the moment, right of
like, oh, I, I'm gonna do this.
Then comes the how.
(11:02):
Yeah, what?
How did you do it?
Or how are you doing it?
If you're working through it?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
um, by just asking more people for help, because I
it's just like anything else,like you're not good at it until
you do it, and then you getbetter at it.
Right, and one one of my mainskills is execution know how to
execute.
So when I see something, I canexecute on that thing.
(11:28):
And I know it feels actually alittle bit uncomfortable, if not
a lot of uncomfortable, toexecute it at first, just like
anything that we do.
But when we do it enough timeswe get better at it and we start
mastering it and we startgetting deeper and deeper and
understanding the nuances moreand more.
So the how usually is the easypart for me, just like the cage,
(11:52):
the cage in the back usually isthe easy part for me, just like
the cage, the cage in the back.
I just need the awareness toeven know that I have to do this
thing because I never.
There's a saying a fish onlyknows that it's in the water
when it's out of the water, andso we're in layers of water and
we get pulled out of one layerof water and go like, oh wow, I
figured something out.
And then you get pulled like oh, my goodness, there's more to
(12:16):
learn and there's more growingto do and eventually, like I'm
44 now and I go oh crap, thisgame never stops.
You never stop learning, younever stop growing.
You just keep stepping further.
You see bigger and biggerperspectives, you get bigger and
bigger insights and you justreally start polishing those
lessons up.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Don't you wish you were as smart as you were when
you knew everything in the 20s?
Speaker 2 (12:43):
You know what is so crazy?
It was interesting.
My journey is a bit different,it's a little unique, but one
thing that I maintain iscuriosity, and I've had
curiosity since I was a kid.
I'm just a really curiousperson and I said to myself the
one thing that I know is I don'tknow that much and I ended up
(13:05):
connecting with he's a goodfriend now these days, and he
goes.
That's a very wise thing to say.
I never even thought of that asbeing wisdom to be curious yeah
and so, as I went through myjourney, I I started learning
like if I can tell anyoneanything.
Curiosity is one of the mostfreeing, powerful things that
(13:26):
you can do, because when Imaintain curiosity, I feel light
, when I don't, I feel heavy.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Well, you're describing some pieces there
with the, the, how uh, one oneis is allowing yourself the
space not to be judged, or the,the fear of of, of sucking, like
I have a fear of like sucking.
So it's like I just put out myfirst kind of course for YouTube
for free and I'm like I knowit's like not great, but it's
like I don't care, I'm justgoing to go do it the first time
and you have these fears thatyou tie stuff to.
But as soon as you let it go,it becomes easy and or easier,
and with the idea and themindset that I I'm going to do
(14:00):
it and just learn from it andimprove it.
And you know I can make fun ofmyself later of how bad that was
, but that that's a one week itwas.
If you are coasting, you'regoing downhill and you're on the
decline and it's so true,metaphorically, like if you're
not curious, you're not learning, you're not trying to climb,
(14:22):
you're not jumping out of waterto see what being out of the
water is, like that impostersyndrome.
You're not growing and you'renot learning from the experience
, because it's just notsignificant enough to do
anything for you.
You're just kind of riding itand it's easy, and there's
there's times you should coastbecause you got to take a break.
You know you don't have to fillin the pedal the whole time,
but if you're, if you findyourself coasting and you notice
it, you might want to dosomething different for your
(14:43):
thought.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
You know I, I tell people, just enjoy it, Enjoy
your journey, Enjoy it fully,like even you.
Talking about you, one, I wantto say congratulations for
getting your YouTube video outthere.
And then, two, you don't knowwho it's going to serve.
(15:04):
You know you might servesomeone and transform them, and
you didn't even know you weregoing to do that.
And that's how I kind of lookat the journey.
Is I?
I set my intention out there,like, look, this is what I'm
looking to do, this is what I'mlooking to serve, this is what
I'm looking to support, and Ilet the chips fall where they're
going to fall, cause the onething that I do know is that I
don't always know what peopleare going to like, what's going
(15:27):
to serve them, what they'regoing to appreciate, and
sometimes it's the thing.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
I'm like that's the thing they wanted to hear, like,
yeah, that was the thing theywanted to hear.
I agreed and it's uh.
I'm not questioning the journey.
I'm trying to look as manythings in life that's happening
for me, even when I'm like, oh,I really wish this wasn't
happening to him.
You're in him now, um and andlike that perspective is crazy.
Hey, awesome, come be a part ofit.
That's totally like listen,that's like the best, the whole
reason we do anything, what's up?
Hello For those listening.
(15:57):
The, the, the, the mostimportant people in his life,
just appeared on on on the show.
It's great.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
He shared that story with me it's funny I'll be
(16:29):
telling good stories too.
Yeah, well, what?
What question were you asking,me or him?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
He's your podcatcher.
My next question for you ispretty simple what are you most
grateful for?
But I think it just walked inthe room.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Yeah, yeah, I am grateful to be alive, I'm
grateful for the present moment,grateful for my kids, grateful
for my wife Been married 18years yeah, 18 years.
And uh, yeah, we have oureight-year-old and our
four-year-old.
And it's been.
It's been a ride in a journey,riding the waves and having a
lot of fun on the ups, the downs, the lefts and the rights right
(17:15):
, what, uh what advice would yougive the listener?
you're amazing.
I think people need to hearthat a lot more.
I think, um, as I go throughthis journey, one of my greatest
lessons it was it wasinteresting.
As you said, you're open forracism politics, speaking on
(17:36):
anything, and I respect thatbecause, like I say, I look back
here and this is the arena.
We're stepping in it all thetime and sometimes we don't even
realize that we're stepping init.
Um, I, I lived in Ahwatukee andit was actually called Ahwatukee
.
It was not the most, uh, funexperiences, but I learned a lot
, and the biggest thing that Ilearned is that everyone's
(18:00):
really the same more than theyrealize.
And I also learned, like, it'simportant that people feel good
about themselves, because whenpeople feel good, they want
others to feel good.
It's just in our nature, and soI I just send out that reminder
to everyone Like, if you'relooking to, if you want to feel
good or make others feel good,feel good about you first, and
(18:21):
it's going to take leadership,it's going to take looking
within, but no one, no one else,can make you feel small except
for yourself, and everyone hasto go through that journey on
their, on their own, and learnthat.
Learn that journey on their owntime.
Yep, that's solid advice?
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Who gives you inspiration?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
everybody does.
You know, I I find there's.
I look at the world asdualistic and there's a pro and
a con to everything and you getto choose how you're going to
look at it.
So I say I get inspirationbeing on with you, having this
laptop that I get to be on mykid, being able to interrupt me
and not getting in any troublelike that one newscaster, that
poor guy, his kids came comingin and the mom's like oh
(19:08):
goodness.
So I'm just inspired by it allbecause I get to see it for the
positive or the negative.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
That's great.
What's some of the bestbusiness advice you've received?
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Find someone who has actually done the thing and
helped others do the thing.
You want someone who cancommunicate effectively so that
you can take effective actions Ilike that.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
That's tough when you have a new idea.
I will say that's a but there's.
There's still probably adviceto get, but what's your what's
kind of that?
Recommended must read book.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Thinking grow rich is the first thing that pops into
my head, because it goes so deepinto the power of desire.
I'm really big on desire and Inotice there's our desires and
there's our doubts.
And when we hold on to ourdesire, we'll figure it.
(20:06):
Our desire, we'll figure it out, we'll figure it out.
If we hold on to our doubts,we'll we'll figure that out too.
The doubts get heavy and theyhave us walk away from our
desires yeah, what?
Speaker 1 (20:13):
it's a quote from a song.
It's it's not the world that'sheavy, it's the things that you
save right, yeah, I love that.
Let go of some stuff once in awhile.
I think it's a Neil Young song.
By the way, it's called JerkingAway.
You're going to have to tellRob it's hokey, but I like it.
That's me, though.
If you could start over todayat any one period of your life,
(20:40):
what period of life would you goback to, and what would you do
differently?
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Wow, that's a good question.
Um, probably 19.
The only thing I would dodifferently is document
everything, and I don't evenknow if I could tell that 19
year old to document everything.
I don't even know if he'dunderstand what I was saying,
but I, I've learned.
(21:05):
Yeah, I've learned so much, andwhat I?
What I love about the journeyis when it's documented.
You can share it with others aslearning lessons for them, if
it supports them.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
I like that.
So in that advice, you shouldstart documenting everything now
.
Maybe you are.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Oh yeah just, oh, big , big time, big time.
Yeah, I have.
Um, I am documenting now likeI've never documented before,
and I, six years ago, sevenyears ago, if you said you were
going to do this, I'd be like,no, I'm not going to.
But it's crazy, I'm learningtoo it's interesting, I didn't
realize.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
You, I've done a lot of shows but I didn't realize,
kind of when I was doing it.
Like my kids will be able tosee those forever and uh, and my
kids will be like, oh well, youknow, daddy or grandpa or
whatever it was here, here, youknow anyway.
So I I didn't, I didn't kind ofrealize that and it's kind of a
neat thing and it's uh, it's,it's in the documentation kind
of idea of what to do.
So if there was one question Ishould have asked you today, and
(22:05):
I didn't.
What would that question havebeen and how do you answer it?
Speaker 2 (22:12):
that's a good question in and of itself.
So what I would say?
There was one question youdidn't ask me.
There was one question youdidn't ask me.
Well, you asked me why I dowhat I do, which I do love and
then it's what got you startedand why you do what you do, and
(22:33):
what got me started and why I dowhat I do?
I was an overweight kid whowanted something different, and
I went after it and I got tohear a lot of people who cheered
me on and people who booed me.
And there's one person he saidyou're going to have two people
cheering and 20 people booing.
And I could say that's verytrue, but they're not booing you
(22:56):
, they're booing their owndreams that they haven't
realized.
And so go realize your dream.
Go realize your dream.
And the more you realize yourdream, the more people start
taking their blinders off andstart realizing theirs.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
I love that.
Clifford, thank you so much forcoming on today.
I appreciate every minute.
Yeah, thomas, thank you, Iappreciate it.
I call it the shame with plugtime.
Who should get ahold of you andhow do they do that?
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Yeah, if you're a high performer and you're
looking to continue to perform,continue to build that legacy
and you just you don't know howto do that or who can support uh
, please reach out and if you'relooking to be a high performer,
if you're like you know what Iwant to.
I want to build a legacy, Iwant to do amazing things.
I want to be the leader that Iknow I'm capable of being.
(23:43):
Love to be, love to connectwith you as well, and the way
you connect with me, either onLinkedIn or on Facebook under
Clifford Starks, and just reachout, let me know.
You were on, cut the tie and Ihave a conversation with you.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Wonderful.
Thank you again so much forcoming in today.
I'm very grateful for the timeyou've given me.
Yeah, yeah, thank you forhaving me Listen.
Everyone still watching,listening.
I appreciate you getting here.
If this was your first timehere, I hope it's the first of
many.
Go out there.
Go figure out what ties youneed to cut, find a way to cut
them and start working toward it1% a day at worst, right, and
get better you.
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