Montee Ball

Montee Ball’s story was supposed to be something like this: “Star running back and Heisman Trophy finalist out of Wisconsin goes on to break rushing records in the NFL with his favorite team growing up.” Instead, it was “Star run running back and Heisman Trophy finalist out of Wisconsin goes on to be drafted in the 2nd round by his favorite team growing up and fizzles out of the league after two seasons.” While the latter was unfortunately true, that wasn’t the full story.

Montee’s true story was what was going on behind the scenes, out of camera and microphone shot. Montee was an alcoholic, until February of 2016 when the everything came to a head: a domestic violence arrest, jail and learning he was going to be a dad. Of course, it didn’t help matters that he watched a team he just played for the year before win Super Bowl 50 from his jail cell. Sobriety had to happen and it did. Since his lowest of lows that February, Montee has been building back up, working to be a good dad and helping others avoid the same mistakes he made. His story is about recovery. For anyone who has been affected with addiction, Montee’s story is a must listen.  

Listen to Montee’s story and conversation with Susie Wargin on the Cut Traded Fired Retired Podcast.

To learn more about the host Susie Wargin, visit www.SusieWargin.com

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
February twenty sixteen. Most definitely was my lowest point. My
feet touched that floor when they told me to take
my clothes off and to put these sandals on, and
I'll never forget that. Right, my feet touched this concrete
floor in jail, and I was like, WHOA. In three years,
I go from my highest point ever in my life,
the pinnacle of everything I've dreamt of, to in jail.

(00:23):
There were guys in my cell that knew who I was.
And then of course I watched the Broncos win the
Super Bowl Super Bowl fifty when I was in jail.
Was pretty clear to me once that happened, like, Okay,
you need help now.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
Welcome to cut, Traded, Fired, Retired. This podcast features conversations
with professional athletes and coaches who are somehow tied to
Colorado and if face challenges. Because we all face challenges,
not only do we learn about their roadblocks and down moments,
we also hear many deep and motivating stories about working
through those times and moving forward. I'm your host, Susie Wargen.

(00:57):
This episode's guest grew up not wanting anything. Monte Ball's
house was the cool house where all the neighborhood kids
wanted to hang out. His mom and dad were both around.
He did well in school, and he excelled in sports,
especially football, But there was a secret that didn't stay
a secret after Monte made it to the highest level
of football. He was an alcoholic. He drank a little

(01:19):
in high school and progressed to using it more in
college at Wisconsin and even more so after the Broncos
made him a second round draft pick in twenty thirteen.
He drank often, even between practice and evening meetings. It
caught up to him and he was released after two seasons.
Soon after he was completely out of football. In February
of twenty sixteen, Monte watched the Broncos win Super Bowl

(01:41):
fifty from a jail cell where he had spent the weekend.
After a domestic violence incident and being arrested for battery.
It was time for Monte to get help, which he did.
He sobered up and put himself on a path to
helping others beat addiction. Today, he's a father and working
with a group that's starting recovery high schools in Colorado
and around the country to help teens work through mental

(02:02):
health and recovery. If you're struggling with an addiction in
your life, This is a good one to listen to,
Ladies and gentlemen. Monteball Got Traded Fired Retired podcast with
Susie wargin Monteball. How are you?

Speaker 1 (02:17):
I'm doing well? How are you?

Speaker 2 (02:19):
I'm good. I'm good. We've been working on this one
for a while. I'm so happy that we finally get
to chat and talk and hear your story too, because
you've had quite the story after your life.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
Yeah. Yeah, And as I was sharing pre show here,
thank you for your patients. It's been quite a busy journey.
But yeah, I'm always looking forward to share because I
know there are others that are suffering in silence. I
truly love to do this because the more voices that
we can, you know, have at the table right to
uplift this, this awareness surrounding mental wealth, the better.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
Absolutely, you're helping to support a lot of people now,
which is cool. But the way this works is we're
going like way way back in the time machine. You're
born in McPherson, Kansas, and from there moved to Missouri.
What was with the move there and how did sports
kind of come into your life?

Speaker 1 (03:05):
Yeah, I'm an open book and I love to share
this stuff. I do just want to preface this by
saying that, you know, my parents are still together. They
raised me, my sister's two parent household, beautiful neighborhood, and
I just want to preface that because to your question,
why did we move from McPherson, Kansas to right outside
Saint Louis, Missouri, that being Winsful, Missouri. I was two

(03:27):
years old. So my parents had me when they were nineteen,
and at the time they already had a two year
old my older sister they had her at seventeen, and
so they were very young. And my father's in recovery now,
but at the time he was not. And so my mother,
in a nutshell, gave my dad an ultimatum, you know,
stop drinking or I'm going back out east, back to
my mom's house, that being my grandmother, of course, and

(03:47):
at the time my father didn't stop. But long story short,
he did. A couple months later. Once my mom took
off and you hear she was serious. She was very serious.
So she packed up her car, put her two kids
in the car, and took off east on Way seventy
back to her mother's home and my dad followed, wow.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
And they were night well at dead time. Then they're
twenty one, right if you're two years old.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, correct, they were twenty one at the time.
So my dad hasn't had a file call since age
twenty one, and he's been huge, quite the pillar, of
course in my recovery years.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
Oh, I'm sure, absolutely. Okay, So then you get to
Missouri and that's where you end up growing up. Where
do sports come in?

Speaker 1 (04:21):
That's right? So two years in Kansas, sixteen years in Missouri,
and I started playing football whenever I turned the age
of eight, and so such a beautiful story. I'm biased,
of course, but it's uh. I was playing football, you know,
just throwing football around outside with my cousin. You know.
It was always the hey, get inside before the street
lights come on.

Speaker 2 (04:40):
So yeah, we don't have cell phones back then, and.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
So streetlights game on winside, and I saw my father
watching football, and he was watching some blue and orange
team with a horse on the side of their helmet,
and I started just asking him a bunch of questions,
like who is this team, what are they doing? What
is this sport? Really? Right? What are these zebra shirts doing?
Throwing these yellow howls around the field. I mean, just
just badgering him literally about questions as a child does.

(05:04):
And I saw my father get super excited about, you know,
all the questions I was asking. He saw the excitement
in my eyes as well, and I asked him, I said, so, hey, Dad,
I want to play football. I said, I want to
be a running back for the Denver Broncos. I want
to play in a Super Bowl with the Denver Broncos.
That's my dream. And my dad jumped up from the couch.
He ran to get my mom because you know, he
loved football. He obviously was a Broncos fan, still is today,

(05:27):
and that's where it came about. He looked at me
and he said, all right, we got to get you
into football. Come next year, next season for enrollment. I
got in and started playing football and I didn't even
play running back. Interesting still age, like.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
Twelve, Oh okay, what did you play before then? What
were kind of your position?

Speaker 1 (05:45):
Yeah? I was playing lineman on the offensive side of alignman,
but also linebacker as well.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
Because I was a linebacker, I could see yeah, I
was too heavy.

Speaker 1 (05:53):
I was too heavy. So they, you know, they had
the stripes on the helmet for the guys that could
not become a ball carrier, so they weren't allowed to
carry the ball due to weight limit. Okay, and so
once I turned age twelve, I dropped a lot of weight.
I dropped about thirteen pounds because I wanted to be
a running back.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
Otherwise we're just going to mow them all over if
you had the ball.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
Right exactly exactly. It's most definitely not fair. And I
do appreciate the weight limits that they have. But linebacker
was a lot of fun.

Speaker 2 (06:18):
Oh I bet it was. Yeah, did you play any
other sports or did you just go all in football?

Speaker 1 (06:22):
Basketball? I started playing basketball in middle school, so age
twelve thirteen?

Speaker 2 (06:28):
That's right. You lettered a couple of years in basketball
in high school?

Speaker 1 (06:30):
There, Yeah, yeah, this man I did. And so basketball
and football. Chatting with a lot of the guys today,
you know, hindsight, I'm like, I wish I would have
played baseball as well. I have so much respect for
that game.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
The older I get, what would you have played if
you could have played baseball? Mmm?

Speaker 1 (06:44):
Mmm, that's good, Alfield, I don't know where, maybe shortstop
as well. I probably would have tried shortstop just due
to the you know how difficult it is. Oh, I
would have loved to challenge myself with that that position.
So either shortstop or for sure outfield. Again, I'm not
sure which position in outfield. Maybe center, but I'm not
the fastest, so probably left.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
There you go, there you go, all right. So in
high school and football you end up really starting to
stand out, and eventually you become like the thirty third
ranked running back in the nation. You have a couple
of very good years. Your senior year you rushed for
over twenty one hundred yards, had forty one touchdowns. Your
junior year, Sports Illustrated puts you in there as faces
in the crowd. What kind of attention were you starting

(07:25):
to garner there in high school? And was it overwhelming?
Was it manageable? And I'm sure you're getting recruited by everybody,
including Wisconsin.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
That's right, that's right. Gosh, I love talking about this.
I love I love going back because there's so many
things I would change, but a lot I wouldn't. And
so with the game of football, right, that journey, of course,
really took off. As you mentioned, in high school, I
rushed for three thousand yards my junior year, Oh yeah,
in ten eleven games, and that's when I was like, Okay,

(07:54):
you know, I think I have an opportunity to truly
play at the next level here. We actually had a
plan as a family, you know, once that came about.
My family was like, Okay, if you're truly serious about this,
we're going to start to really invest some money into
your training during the off season, and then wherever you
decide to go to play football at, we're gonna be
right there in the backyard. We're going to pack up
our house, leave quart our jobs, and go move. And

(08:15):
my family did, and so come my junior year, my
first offer was University of Missouri right there in Columbia,
and I had some official visits there obviously, but some
other offers started to come in, and to your question,
it was a bit overwhelming at first because you don't
know what you don't know. Same for my family, right
they can only provide so much advice. It was it

(08:36):
was then before yeah, and charted territory for them as well.
So the advice, of course was to just trust my heart, obviously,
do my own research. Chat with him of course about
the university, the education, the environment, etc. And so it
was a lot that was coming at me from all
different angles and being on you know, the front cover
of Sports Illustrated at a young age, right, So it

(08:57):
I lived a very fast life, I bet at a
young age.

Speaker 2 (09:01):
What was it like in high school being at that
kind of a level, like we're kids good with it
or you know, teammates, fine, did you get I mean
there's always rasin that goes on. But it's like, was
there jealousy or was it? Was it a good thing? Uh?

Speaker 1 (09:13):
No, jealousy. Honestly, A lot of those guys I'm still
really extremely close with today, actually all of them. We
have an annual golf tournament that we do just with
a high school oh, with just with my yeah, my
guy friends from high school. So a bunch of knuckleheads, right,
just get out there and just digging holes in the course.

Speaker 2 (09:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:32):
But we had a wonderful friendship. Competitive for sure, because
we also played basketball as well, all of us guys.
And so there was one guy by the name of
James Wofford, really good friend of mine in high school.
He was the other you know, quote unquote star player.
He played quarterback. We competed pretty heavily just during practice,
when it came to sprints, even in pe class when

(09:53):
it came to the pacer test test. Yeah, we always
had that battle, but between each other, and the coach
loved it obviously because of your quarterback running back relationship
and as we all know high school football, let's get
the ball and the star player's hand and just let
them run. And so it was zero animosity.

Speaker 2 (10:10):
Oh that's great. What visits did you take in addition
to Miszoo and obviously Wisconsin, Iowa?

Speaker 1 (10:15):
I actually took more official visits to Iowa really than
any other place. Yeah, Iowa. You know, obviously, in hindsight,
it's a sister program to Wisconsin, right, you're looking pretty
much at the same university as obviously Badgers are the
better one. During that time, I took a lot of
visits to Iowa. I love the way they ran the football.
I truly loved what they were doing there at Iowa.

(10:36):
But when I took my official visit to Wisconsin, so
before I even get to that, I'll say I took
official visit to Iowa, Iowa, State, Northwestern obviously Missoo, and
that's about it. I mean I had some other offers Stanford,
I didn't get out there to there that far. But
once I took my official visit to Wisconsin. It was
a night game against Ohio State. You're talking ninety plus

(10:59):
thousand fans just right there in the stadium. Of course
it's to Ohio State. We all know they got the
fan base as well. Extremely competitive game. But long story short,
with the atmosphere is exactly what I wanted to play in.
And then of course Madison, Wisconsin again, no shame to Iowa,
beautiful place, great campus, just didn't have what Wisconsin has,

(11:20):
which Madison being the It's smith I can ever say
that word, but get a lake on each side of it.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
I've never been there. Amazing.

Speaker 1 (11:26):
Yeah, I was again with the atmosphere of the education too.
Of course, the program. You know Ron Dang being one
of the greatest running backs there. You know, I wanted
to challenge myself and be as great or better than him,
and so I was sold.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
And you play as a freshman, right, you didn't read shirt?

Speaker 1 (11:41):
No, No, no, I did not. I did play as a freshman,
not a lot and again same for the first half
of my sophomore year as well. Just didn't get a
lot of playing time. I just wasn't. I didn't grasp
it yet. I still wasn't playing at game speed that's
required of course at that level, until that second half
of my sophomore year came.

Speaker 2 (11:58):
About was it physical or was it a mental aspect
as far as plays or was it more on the
physical side. Was it too fast for you?

Speaker 1 (12:04):
It was a little too fast? Okay, it was, it was.

Speaker 2 (12:07):
And that happens. I mean, that's just and that's why
kids red shirt. I mean, you're still young, right, just
coming out of high school.

Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yeah, it takes a little bit of time for some guys.
Obviously some no, but it takes time for some guys
to get acclimated to the different system, the different style
of play, to the speed of the game, many different
things school, yeah right, the demand of that too. I mean,
so many different things that student athletes of course have
to manage. And so it just took me a little
bit of time. But then that that breakthrough happened.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
Yeah. Well, and even in your sophomore year, you were
still honorable mention big ten. I mean you played enough
your sophomore year to get that. But then it was
your junior year where things really went crazy.

Speaker 1 (12:44):
That's right.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
You start all fourteen games, you're Big Ten Player of
the Week two times. You have multiple games where you
have three or four touchdowns? What changed sophomore to junior year? Like?
Did it literally just slow down for you?

Speaker 1 (12:58):
I really took it seriously. And I'm not saying I
didn't my freshman year, sophomore year, or the first half
of my sophomore year. I truly so I think in
order to answer that, I have to chat about my
sophomore season. So what happened? Going to Kinnick Stadium in Iowa?
I was third string on the death chart.

Speaker 2 (13:15):
This was me.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
This was midway of the season, Okay, so I still
wasn't experiencing much playing time. The first string running back
got injured, John Clay, then James White, you know the
New England Patriot Hall of Famer, right, he got injured
as well, unfortunately, So the running backs coach looks at
me and he's like, verbatim, time to put up or
shut up. This is your opportunity. And so I get

(13:37):
in catch a slant pass for a first round and
then four plays later scored the game winning touchdown and
from that moment on I never gave the position back.
And so wow, it's wild leading into that game. You know. Again,
my family moved to Madison, so I would go to
their home and you know, I was crying and stuff.
I was like, I don't know if I running back
to my position, Maybe I need to switch positions. And

(13:58):
we had a long talk about just doing more work
in the film room, in the weight room, nutrition, et cetera,
and just when my opportunity presents itself, just to truly
just to hold onto it, to grab it and to
take it. And I did. And so going into my
junior year, I understood what was required to perform at
a high level going into the twenty eleven season. In

(14:19):
the summer, of course, we had summer workouts. I'd ride
my moped to the facility, I would train with the team,
and then I would jog home right after summer conditioning
and then jog back to the facility to get your mope,
get my moped. And I would do that every single
day that we worked out, and I ended up dropping

(14:40):
thirty pounds going into the twenty eleven season.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
That had to help immensely too.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
Absolutely, Yeah, it most definitely helped gett Russell Wilson too.

Speaker 2 (14:48):
Well, there's that, yes, that year, you're a finalist for
the Doke Walker Award for the best running back. You're
also a Heisman finalist coming forth. And speaking of Russell Wilson,
did he go with you to the ceremony?

Speaker 1 (15:03):
He did not, And so that's the unfortunate part about
all of it is we both were splitting votes during
the season. Oh okay, because he was on the heismand
watch list as well, and so we were splitting votes
like from our phone fan base in the country going
into that ceremony. I still lose sleep over it because
I just don't understand how I came in fourth.

Speaker 2 (15:23):
I know, you know, twenty kind of a season.

Speaker 1 (15:25):
One hundred yards from the line of scrimmish, thirty nine touchdowns,
big ten champ. I was like, what else can I do?

Speaker 2 (15:31):
I know? Yeah, that was crazy? And RG three won
that year.

Speaker 1 (15:34):
He did, he did, And I'll get off my high
horse here, but I gotta say this part as well.
I didn't even win the doke Walker Award that year either,
which goes to the best running back in the country.

Speaker 2 (15:43):
Which is crazy. What and then you decided to come
back for your senior year like that. Most guys, I
think at that point, you're like, Okay, I've got all
these things. Didn't win the Heisman, didn't win the Dope,
but I'm taking it and go and get my riches
at the NFL, as opposed to guys now they're staying
for like seven years because they're making more money in college.
That was not the case when you were there. It
wasn't no, But you decided to go back for your

(16:03):
senior year. And I'm curious why.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
Yeah, yeah, I think right now, in hindsight, most I
probably should not have. I should have taken off to
the NFL, of course, but I don't. I'm not sure
if I would have landed as a Bronco. There were
two running backs that went in the first round, being
David Wilson and Doug Martin, so I probably would not
have landed with my favorite team. But in a perfect world,
the right decision would have been to leave. But I

(16:26):
did decide to stay.

Speaker 2 (16:26):
You're a captain that year, and you did win the
Doak Walker your senior I.

Speaker 1 (16:29):
Did, Yes, yes, very blessed for that, truly, But I
decided to stay. And you know that kind of goes
into a little bit of my mental health, the decline
of my mental health. Right, I was comfortable with where
I was at. I was my social anxiety. I was
a little nervous. I wouldn't say it was a bad decision,
but obviously, sitting here today in twenty twenty five, looking

(16:51):
back on it, I should have left.

Speaker 2 (16:53):
So did you get too complacent your senior year? And
then that led to I was getting involved with other things?

Speaker 1 (16:58):
Right? Right? I was comfortable with you're.

Speaker 2 (17:01):
A big man on campus?

Speaker 1 (17:03):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. To honestly put it, to put into words,
I you know, my drinking, that relationship started to strengthen,
and I was starting to drink, of course more by myself,
solo in my room, and so I sort of placed
myself in this in this silo literally and figuratively, which
kind of goes to the whole like I didn't want
to jump ship yet, which.

Speaker 2 (17:24):
Didn't want to be challenged.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
Yet, didn't want to be challenged yet, which which of
course is an unfortunate thing.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
But your early twenties, you don't. I mean, we can
look back on things twenty years later and go, oh wow,
that was not very smart, but that's part of learning
and life too. Were there others around you at that
time that knew what you were doing as far as
like kind of isolating and everything, and did they try
and help you. And obviously with your dad too.

Speaker 1 (17:47):
Of course, I will say running backs coach at the time,
Thomas Hammock. He's now the head coach for NIU Northern Illinois.
He came in in twenty eleven as well, so he
wasn't there my freshman year or sophomore year. But when
he came in, obviously it helped with Russell Wilson as well.
But this coach literally changed my entire mindset around the game.

(18:09):
He broke through my ego that I had. And there
was this one moment that we had together where I
was skipping class and he was like, you know, Monte,
if you skip class again, you know we're going to
have a session in the indoor facility at five am,
the conditioning session. Well, he was the new guy on campus.
I had this big, inflated ego. I'm like, you know,
I just finished off my sophomore year. We're big ten champs.

(18:31):
I'm carrying the torch. So I challenged him and I
did skip class. We went into this facility. I had
to do six hundred yards of updowns, six hundred yards
of bear crawls and then six hundred yards of sprints,
and I ended up actually quitting midway. My body locked up,
and he was just shouting over top of me. Was
this the monte ball that everyone's raving about? Is this
the guy that's quitting on his team? And so I

(18:52):
mentioned that because we had a very strong relationship after that,
and there were moments where he would smell alcohol on
me in practice and ask me if I'm in need
of some help or you know what's going on, And
of course my response was always, Hey, I'm just doing
what everybody else is doing. I'm just a college student,
obviously a student athlete as well. You know when big

(19:12):
party ard and you know whatever the saying is that
that's how it was. But of course I began to
start to respond to different ways.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
Yeah, so as you go through your senior year and
you're starting to get a little more isolated like that,
you're still a top running back and a top prospect
for the NFL. What were your thoughts there then? I mean,
was there at any point where it's like, hey, I
probably should stop, need to stop, or was it like
I'm still doing just fine on my own, that is.

Speaker 1 (19:38):
The trickiest part about addiction. It tricks you. It literally
plays so many games in your mind. Yeah, you know,
I don't want to get too scientific here, what have
you like the chemical dependency right where your brain is
going to tell you like no, no, no, we're good. We
need that many signs that I saw right. I was
an intelligent kid.

Speaker 2 (19:56):
I think you were an all academic three times in
high school. I mean, yeah, you know, slouch with the.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
Books, yeah, Stanford full ride. I mean I understood in hindsight. Yes,
the red flags were air, and I most definitely saw
them even in real time at the moment. And so
for me, it was just what occurred was once I
got drafted by my favorite team, it was sort of
like a see mom, dad, coach, you know, everyone else

(20:24):
who may have been trying to pull me in to
chat with me write about this relationship with alcohol. It
was more so like a see everything's fine. I told you, Okay,
I'm fine, Yeah, still accomplishing my dreams. Everything is good.
Of course, as we all know, it wasn't.

Speaker 2 (20:37):
It wasn't. So they do draft you in the second
round in twenty thirteen. You score your first touchdown that
year against Washington, then the Redskins. What do you remember
about that? And just the game of the NFL. Was
it as fast as you felt when you went in
from high school to college or how was it?

Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yeah? Scoring that touchdown Washington, I mean I remember the play.
I I'm so glad they called a run play and
being Peyton called her run play, and I was like, yes, absolutely,
I guess I get to get my first score, and
so truly an honor just to play side by side
with so many great from Peyton and then I get
the hand off from Peyton Manning, and so I remember
the first time I saw him. I'm like, dude, I was.
I was eleven years old playing you on Madden, playing

(21:19):
like playing with you at Madden. But honestly, it was
a dream come true. And so for me once I
got to the NFL, of course, the game's faster, mainly
because the guys are smarter. These guys have been playing
this game just as long or even longer than I have,
and so they've seen this. As talking about defense, they've
seen these formations millions of times. They already process of elimination.

(21:42):
They're like, Okay, there's only four to five plays that
can potentially come out of this formation, and so that's
why the game is so much faster. Everyone's strong, everyone's fast,
but players are smarter. And so for me, it was
as we all know, right, you give a twenty one,
twenty two year old X amount of dollars that has
yet to address their addiction, that's just accomplished their dream

(22:05):
of getting drafted by their favorite team. Playing side by
side with Peyton Manning and all these other greats. My
ego was even more so inflated. Everything was going my way.
There was no reason, so I thought, no reason for
me to do a self diagnostic check.

Speaker 2 (22:19):
Why reinered inyah everything? And was there anybody at the
Broncos that could take you aside? Like your running backs
coach did in Wisconsin?

Speaker 1 (22:26):
Yeah, the running backs coach in wiscon or excuse me,
in Denver did as well, Eric Studiasville. Oh, he actually
went to Wisconsin UW Whitewater.

Speaker 2 (22:34):
Yeah, yeah, and he's miss Phil's a great guy.

Speaker 1 (22:36):
He is, he is, he's now. The running backs coach
for Miami pulled me in twice actually to have the
conversation with me when I was at Denver, and no,
I didn't open up didn't open up mainly because I
had so much respect for him, and I just this
is the stigma part, right. I did not want to
put him in such a difficult situation because at the

(22:56):
end of the day, he's got he's got a family
to feed. I did not believe that I be given
the anonymity right of hey, I'm going to open up
to you, you know, without him sharing it with the
head coach, right because he's got to keep his job
and so, you know, no fault of him and I,
you know whatsoever. But I just didn't want to open
up because I felt as if that was the right reason.

Speaker 2 (23:15):
Right that first year that you're here, you have five
hundred and fifty nine yards rushing, four touchdowns. The next
year you're supposed to be the starter. No Sean leaves
at that point, goes to Miami. But it was a
struggle year. You had a groin injury as well, and
then I think all those things start catching up, right exactly,
that's exactly twenty fourteen.

Speaker 1 (23:36):
Yes, ma'am, that's exactly what it is, right. Alcohol strips
away the muscles, right, we all know this. It's literally
poison to your system, and in the way that I
was consuming it, of course, was not in the best
way whatsoever, far from it, upwards to four to five
times a week, and of course, trying to perform at
the highest level possible, it's just not possible to do that.
So my body fell apart to my groin the first

(23:58):
time that I tore, because I tore twice that season,
and so the first time I tore it against the Cardinals,
I believe I had all this time of just doing
PTE physical therapy for two hours a day at the facility.
Now I have all this time where the team's traveling
away and I'm still here in Denver. Well, what do
you think I'm gonna do when I'm in the woes
of my addiction. I had all this free time to
drink when I'm supposed to be recovering. Then, of course

(24:20):
I tried to rush back for the Saint Louis Rams
game whenever the Rams were in Saint Louis, because that's
the area where I'm from, right, I'm like, oh, my goodness,
I gotta get back for this game. My friends are
going to be their family. And I tear it I
think the second or third play of the game. Oh,
and so my career started in Missouri and then ended there.

Speaker 2 (24:39):
Basically did yeah, right, because then CJ comes in and
pretty much takes over and then you're pretty much done, right.

Speaker 1 (24:46):
Yeah yeah. I played what three or four preseason games
the next year, got released right before the season started,
and then went to Peace Squad with the Patriots. That
was my last regular season game.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
Wow. So literally did start and end in Missouri?

Speaker 1 (24:58):
Yeah? Yeah, it's.

Speaker 2 (25:02):
It stings, I'm sure it does. Yeah. Well, and you
look back and then, of course, I mean, everybody's talking
about you because you're supposed to be this great guy
out of Wisconsin, and what happens, so the word bust
gets used and you know, all those words I mean,
and that doesn't help what's going on with you. I mean,
how many people do you think actually knew the drinking

(25:22):
part and whatnot? I mean the people that could smell
it or that were around you, But I mean as
far as like, I don't think the media really knew.

Speaker 1 (25:28):
No, No, media absolutely not. Never shared it of course
because I just didn't know. But again, I'm doing what
everybody else is doing, partying like every other guy's partying.
But obviously, again it was messing with my psyche differently,
and so those around me, I would say, a few
that can cut on one hand. New of course I
had my parents and my sisters, and I would say
that that's just that's too close to the fire in

(25:49):
a sense, right, it's too much emotion there. And so
not counting my nuclear family, I would say there were
maybe only like three or four that new outside of them,
and they did try.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
Did they And it's just but you have to be
able to want to do it yourself. Of course, it's
not going to make any difference otherwise.

Speaker 1 (26:06):
Literally, yeah, I mean, if you're not wanting to do it,
there's there's literally nothing anyone can do.

Speaker 2 (26:10):
Did you drink before practice or was it always after
right after?

Speaker 1 (26:15):
So there were moments where, especially on Thursday practices that
would be our final day of having padded practice, and
we'd have about a two and a half maybe three
hour break prior to meetings. I would shower and go
to a local spot and get a couple of drinks

(26:36):
before going into meetings.

Speaker 2 (26:37):
Oh so you'd go to meetings with a couple of drinks.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
As okay, that's of course when it was you know,
I was gone. Then That's why I've completely, you know,
fell victim to that addiction. Of course when I was taken.

Speaker 2 (26:48):
It to work, Yeah, that becomes a big red flag.
So do you think teams then also, I mean they
obviously could see it, and then you had gained some
weight when you went to I think it was Green Bay, right, yeah, yeah,
a little stant with green Bay too, not just can't.

Speaker 1 (27:01):
Try out a tryout, right yeah. And I remember after
that tryout, one of the guys I don't know who,
he was part of their personal of course staff pulled
me to the side, and that question I think about
a lot. He asked me, he said, are you taking
this seriously? And it was like after I ran my
forty yard dash there too, and he literally pulled me

(27:22):
to the side and he and he he asked me
that question, like are you taking this seriously? And I
was like, what do you mean? And of course right
you only I was living inside the bottle literally and
figurative that I couldn't read the label, and so I
was just I couldn't see, of course what they were seeing.
And I think about that all the time. Oh wow,
now when I think back on it, because there's no
recordings that I can ask them for and I would
love to see how I looked trying to hop on

(27:45):
a team. I probably looked.

Speaker 2 (27:47):
Sloppy, probably, Yeah, And so I think because it was
like thirty pounds, wasn't it? Was it pretty? It was
pretty significant?

Speaker 1 (27:55):
Yeah, And that happened because, of course, when I got
released by the Broncos. This is September of twenty fifteen.
This is the first fall slash winter that I don't
have any shoulder pads on since the ages were eight,
And so I was like, whoa, this is pretty cool
in the moment, obviously, you know, thinking back to it, no,
I should have gotten right back into it. But I

(28:16):
took full advantage of that free time, but not the
right way. Of course. I was partying, drinking, drinking, not
working out, just laying around.

Speaker 2 (28:26):
And then that all catches up. You don't realize it's happening,
do you.

Speaker 1 (28:29):
You don't, You don't. Yeah. I was ignoring phone calls
from different teams, the Jets, the Bears tried to reach out.
I literally ignored their call, and my agent was calling
me saying why am I not answering, And then the
Packers called. I answered that call. I went to that trial,
and of course we all understand how that went about.
And then my agent is the same agent that Bill
Belichick has. He reached out to Bill I was able

(28:51):
to get a shot with the Patriots.

Speaker 2 (28:52):
That's how kind of a favor to the Patriots.

Speaker 1 (28:54):
Okay, but yeah, I was done. I was done.

Speaker 2 (28:58):
My mind was gone, wow, Okay, So what is the
low point where you turn around? Do you have a
history with the arrest as well? Yeah, so is that
your low point? Is that? What kind of happened with that?

Speaker 1 (29:11):
Of course? Yeah? And again I'm an open book. I
think transparency is the important thing for folks that want
to chat about their recovery journey because we can all
smell bs.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
Yeah, absolutely absolutely, And so for me, I was It's
February of twenty sixteen, that's.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
Right, and so leading into that month, of course, when
I got released by the Broncos, I was angry at
everybody but myself. Right prior to getting released, I knew
that door was closing, especially when I got injured. And
then I see cj Andersen performing, right, I'm like, oh,
I'm screwed. And so someone with an inflated ego, that's immature.
Of course I'm going to get angry at everyone else

(29:49):
but myself. I'm not going to look myself in the mirror.
Didn't want to face the music and own up to Hey,
you're not putting the time in, Like, you can't wing
this NFL.

Speaker 2 (29:59):
Right, So it's all in.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
You can't. You have to train. And so for me,
I was angry at my dad a lot. I was
really angry with my father, angry my sisters to my
best guy friend back home in Missouri.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
And is that because they were telling you that you
were screwing up? Oh?

Speaker 1 (30:16):
Yeah, yeah? So he lived with me. Actually, when I
was drafted, my best friend, it was a dream of ours,
and I got angry with him a lot. And then
so obviously everyone around me was experiencing a pretty angry monte.
And so when I went back to Wisconsin, I met
a beautiful woman at the time, and we were both
just partying and drinking a lot, and I took my

(30:37):
frustrations out on her in a very disgusting and immature way,
and rightfully so I was arrested for it, you know,
in February of twenty sixteen. You know, I always share
this with folks. It doesn't it most definitely does not
take away of course what occurred, but the moment that
had happened in the police record, I literally say I
made a mistake. I messed up big time because I'm like, WHOA,

(31:01):
that's not who I am. And from that moment, I've
always owned it. And so February of twenty sixteen most
definitely was my lowest point. My feet touched that floor
when they told me to take my clothes off and
to put these sandals on, and I'll never forget that, right,
my feet touched this concrete floor in jail, and I
was like, whoa. In three years, I go from my

(31:22):
highest point ever in my life, the pinnacle of everything
I've dreamt of too in jail, never had a record
prior nothing clean to that, I'm like, OK, what is
going on here? So again, I like to think I'm
an intelligent guy, and so it was pretty clear to
me once that happened, like Okay, you need help now,

(31:44):
because we first off, we can't do this to people.
And then second, this is not who I am. This
is not the direction I'm supposed to be going in.
And so that experience in jail was wild. In Madison, Wisconsin,
there were guys in my cell that knew who I was.
And then of course I watched the Broncos win the
Super Bowl, super Bowl fifty when I was in jail.

Speaker 2 (32:06):
Oh my gosh, yes, it was right at the same time.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
Yeah, I was arrested on Friday of February fifth, and
so I had to spend the weekend in jail.

Speaker 2 (32:13):
Oh monte, I didn't realize that.

Speaker 1 (32:15):
And so I watched So they of course a lot
of the guys in there they wanted to watch the
Super Bowl, but I and they were saying, it'supposed to
be you up there on the TV. And so I
sat there and watched the Broncos beat the Panthers and
Super Bowl fifty when I was.

Speaker 2 (32:30):
You're in jail in jail, Oh wow, how long did
you stay in jail?

Speaker 1 (32:34):
So it was a Thursday when I went out. The
situation occurred Friday at like two or three am. Got
booked at like five am Friday, So Friday to Monday.

Speaker 2 (32:45):
That's when they arranged you.

Speaker 1 (32:46):
And okay, when I saw judge.

Speaker 2 (32:48):
So then the result of that, like you said, you've
owned it, Oh yeah, and you did then, and then
but then you also did you violate your parole? Then
a couple of weeks later.

Speaker 1 (32:57):
I did. I did, and so the the terminology that
they use because they call it bail jumping.

Speaker 2 (33:03):
I read that.

Speaker 1 (33:04):
But it's just violating the terms of your probation. So
I was not to be in near, or of course
seen in a tavern, bar, liquor store, or obviously consuming alcohol.
I was at a restaurant bar in Whitewater, Wisconsin, sitting
at the bar, and that's why I got arrested.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
Were you drinking?

Speaker 1 (33:21):
I was? I was. I thought that the February situation
was going to be enough. I knew I had an addiction,
but I just didn't understand how strong it was. Yeah,
I did violate the terms of my probation because I
was arrested for being seen at a bar, and of
course they took me to a hospital to draw my
blood and I was zero point zero five, which could
have driven a car. But of course that still violates

(33:42):
my paration, my parol.

Speaker 2 (33:46):
And then you do a plea deal.

Speaker 1 (33:47):
Yeah, I do you.

Speaker 2 (33:48):
Do sixty days house arrestep whose house you stay at?

Speaker 1 (33:52):
Parents?

Speaker 2 (33:52):
Okay? Yeah, how'd that go?

Speaker 1 (33:57):
Yeah? I stayed off social media, sure, but I remember
my mother she was crying, telling me I need help.
We were searching for, you know, going to any website
to try to figure out what they provide, what levels
of care that I need. And again this is this
is the case, of course, and I know we're going
to get to this conversation, but many families don't know
the landscape of treatment, what it is, what partial hospitalization

(34:19):
is or intensive outpatient. And so I started with therapy,
just one on one therapy. I decided just to go
to a place right behind the stadium in Madison, Wisconsin
to face the music. I had. Then eventually got into
IOP intensive outpatient treatment, which is that you have three modalities.
You have family, group therapy and individual therapy, all wrapped
in one for a twelve week program three to four

(34:41):
times a week. And I remember sitting in group in Madison, Wisconsin,
right where you were a star. And so I had
to face the music, and I wanted to I wanted
to own it visually literally just by what I share
and move on and move on, make amends and move
on and get help.

Speaker 2 (35:01):
How long did it take then before you really may
or did did you stop drinking when you went on
the sixty day house arrest? Oh? Yeah, okay, So.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
I had a breathalysed machine that would go off on
random times. Okay, well nine am or twelve pm or
twelve am or two am. This alarm would just go
off and it would take a photo of my face
as well. That's intense, very intense. But I'm so blessed
that that happened, of course, not as to why I
had to have that.

Speaker 2 (35:27):
Right, Yeah, but you needed the detox, didn't you.

Speaker 1 (35:29):
Yes, I did. I truly believe that I would be
dead or in prison, and again not in prison for
that situation ever to occur again, but maybe a dui
to many other things of course that we can sit
here and think about. And so I'm fortunate that you know,
they came down on me pretty hard because I needed.

Speaker 2 (35:47):
It absolutely so no drinking sense then.

Speaker 1 (35:50):
No, no, no, that again, zero record prior to that situation.
Smiley Happy go like a kid to parentage, household, beautiful neighborhood,
great high school.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
It just goes to show that it can happen to everybody.
It doesn't have to just be an at risk kid.
It can be anybody. But you also have the and
whether we speak of genetics or not, both your dad
and your grandfather were alcoholics as well.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
That's correct, And I'm so glad you brought that up,
because it's tough being quote unquote in the public eye
and trying to be honest, because I never want to
make it seem like my dad was a terrible father
or my grandfather.

Speaker 2 (36:29):
Their fault that you did what you did.

Speaker 1 (36:31):
Not at all, right, not at all. I lived a
wonderful life childhood. You can ask my friends. There always
halves the most spoiled kid. My friends would always come
to my house.

Speaker 2 (36:41):
You were the cool house.

Speaker 1 (36:42):
Yeah, okay, And so yes, the study of epigenetics is
what we're talking about. The gene, the gene, the chemical tag. Obviously,
there's still a lot of research that's required to truly
say that that's a fact. You know, the nature verse nurture.
We understand that, especially in men, it is passed down.
So that is not a fault of my father's, but
it's I was just more susceptible to becoming addicted to

(37:06):
that substance due to these chemical tags. And then of
course he was more susceptible due to his father, who
was a war vet, suffered from so much, so much
PTSD and great grandfather. But he passed away because of
his drinking.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
Oh wow, that's tough. Well you're on a much much
better path.

Speaker 1 (37:25):
I am.

Speaker 2 (37:25):
I am, And now you're doing so many things as
we fast forward through and I know it's not I
don't want to fast forward because it's it's been a
tough road the last nine years or so, and you've
done a lot of great things in the meantime. Well,
you just went into the college Football Hall of Fame,
which is great. Wisconsin put you in their Hall of
Fame a couple of years ago. You got to do

(37:46):
the draft pick for the Broncos at the draft this year,
so it's like you're coming back around. There's like this
renewed monte Ball. Like I think when you even when
they mentioned you were going to do the draft pick,
people like, oh wow, where's he been? You know? And
now here you are doing great things. You're involved in
a really good organization called Vivo Colorado, trying to establish

(38:06):
high schools that will help kids like you and what
you went through. So give a little recap of you
know where you are. You know, you got your nine
year old son who's doing great and he's here. So
it's it's just a much better space. In life for
monte Ball these days.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
Yeah, it's it's it's wild that my son came about
as well too, So blessed that he's here. But when
I got arrested back in February twenty sixteen, about three
and a half weeks later, again, no fault of his mother.
I was not in the right mindset to share this
information with me nine months prior. But I get a
text from her as she's seven months pregnant. Wow, three

(38:42):
weeks after I get out of jail. It was quite
the I'm not the victim for sure, but I my goodness,
I was dealing with so much then.

Speaker 2 (38:50):
And you had no idea before that. No, wow, No
you got hammered that month.

Speaker 1 (38:55):
Yeah, most definitely you needed.

Speaker 2 (38:57):
Some messages set to you, didn't you.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
I got a lot closer to to my higher power
than Yeah. But now in twenty twenty five, Yes, for
the last nine and a half years, I've literally devoted
my life to this mission of being a voice for
those that may be suffering in silence, but also right
creating tangible things, tangible systems in a system. Just to
give an example, of course, is just being that resource

(39:21):
that families, which they do still to this day, can
reach out to me regarding where they can go for treatment.
I tell them share with me your insurance. I can
reach out to XYZ provider and I can ask them
about their bed availability. I can chat with you mom
and dad or team about the levels of care. Obviously
if it's a teen, more so mom and dad, what
levels of care you're looking for? What do they look like,
what do they entail? Something that I really love to do.

(39:44):
Just did it yesterday for a family, and so that's
what I do. But also, yes, Vivo Colorado. Vivo Colorado
is for sure nonprofits where we are building recovery high
schools here in Colorado, and of course plan on taking
it across the nation. We're fortunate enough to have landed
a grant and probably can't share it yet but in

(40:06):
another state where we're going to start building there. But
here in Colorado, we're going to have four fifty two
eighty High School is one of the schools that's under
the umbrella. It's been going on for about seven eight years,
and now we are fortunate enough to we're going to
be building in a location in Colorado. I can't say,
but it will be an Aurora in the fall of
twenty twenty six, and then Colorado Springs and then hopefully

(40:27):
another location after that. With these schools, what you're looking
at is project based learning for the kids. Of course,
they get their genets, but we've invested a lot of time, energy,
and obviously dollars into amplifying their their electives. A lot
of these kids, of course, eighty percent of the kiddos
that we see that are in recovery that come to
these schools want to get right into the workforce. Twenty percent,

(40:48):
of course we're seeing go to a four year or
two year trade school, but of course we're seeing a
lot of kids that want to go right into the workforce.
Just to give an example, fifty two eighty high school,
a lot of kiddos wanted to to get into documentary film.
So we're fortunate to land a grant and get a
documentary program in there for the kids. Wow a shoe
a shoe program as well. And so we would love

(41:11):
for Aurora, the school that's going to be there right
to team up with the home depots, the Starbucks right
to get internship programs for the kids right there on site.
And so that's what you see at these schools. They
start at about eight am, eight thirty am, and the
kids lead a peer group RAND session i'll say, where
they sit in a circle of course, and they get

(41:33):
the chat about their weekend or the previous day. It's
student led. They get to also see kiddos that may
be decompensating, right as we all know, right, they tend
to open up more to their friends than they do
staff or their parents. And so we got a leader,
one to two leaders of students that of course capture
this data for us of kiddos of course that are decompensating.

(41:54):
And that's where we step in, right, That's where our
staff steps in on site and my knowledge regarding you know,
the treatment landscape here in Colorado, I come into play
to try to get mom and dad connected to resources
for their child.

Speaker 2 (42:07):
How many do you plan on having at these schools? Like,
what's the capacity?

Speaker 1 (42:10):
Yeah, great questions, So about one hundred to one hundred
and twenty, one hundred and thirty. And so we don't
want to go any bigger than that because I think
we would then fall right back into the same situation
of a public school where resources are spread then counselor
is running around with you know, with their.

Speaker 2 (42:23):
Hair on fire, you can make the impact.

Speaker 1 (42:26):
Right and you get the same outcomes with data where
kiddos are just again slipping through the cracks. And so
these are really specific, really siloed in a good way
educational programs for kiddos because we don't want for a
child to have to sacrifice their education for recovery. And
also we want to encourage positive peer pressure, which is

(42:48):
what we always talk about at the schools, right because
all these kids are in recovery. Some are not in
recovery from substances, but a majority are a lot of
kiddos that we see are you know, just recovering from
mental disorders, mental health disorders that's being acute bipolar or
what have you. But again, we just create this environment
for them to learn and grow, build their network, and

(43:08):
then also empower them.

Speaker 2 (43:10):
They're big key, isn't it.

Speaker 1 (43:12):
Yeah, empowering them. So that's where the electives come into play,
hands on and getting them into finding a passion. Data
shows if they find their passion young, especially if they're
going in recovery, they have greater chance of staying in
recovery if that passion continues to grow.

Speaker 2 (43:28):
How much could you have benefited from a school like
that a.

Speaker 1 (43:31):
Lot, a lot. I think it's I didn't really drink
too much in high.

Speaker 2 (43:37):
School, Okay, more in college it did.

Speaker 1 (43:39):
It did because I still wanted to I knew where
I still wanted to go, I still knew what was required,
and a lot of my guy friends, of course, we partied.
But I can count how many times I got drunk
in high school. But my experience with the first time
drinking should have been the red flag. I puked on
myself the first time ever drinking.

Speaker 2 (43:55):
Oh wow.

Speaker 1 (43:56):
So I think, no matter what, I would have benefited
from it, and I think, no matter we all know
that there are many families and kids out there right
now that can and will hopefully reach out and benefit
from it as well.

Speaker 2 (44:07):
Yeah, I think that's so cool. All right, Monte. Last
question for you, and this leads right into you. Probably
what you'll be talking to students about, and what you
talk to people about all the time is when they
have those down moments your February of twenty sixteen, what
do you tell people? How do you counsel them on
how to keep moving forward in hopes that there are
better days ahead and to make those days better?

Speaker 1 (44:29):
It sounds so cliche, and again I'm gonna preface it
by saying that, but it's so true. One of my
favorites where it's this too shall pass. It's so cliche, yes,
but it's so true. It is like right now, if
you ask me today, well, if you ask me back
in twenty sixteen, in February, I would look at you
and I would say, my life's over. I'm done. I

(44:49):
might as well just ride off somewhere and go live
off grid and disappear. That's exactly what I would have
shared back then. But he asked me today. Thank goodness
that I did not go in that direction, because it passed.
It passed nine years ago. That Monte is not the
same monte that you're looking at today, not even close.

Speaker 2 (45:08):
No, not even close.

Speaker 1 (45:09):
Seriously, not even close. And I'm closer to my higher power.
I'm more embedded within the community doing the right things.
That being truly creating a network for families so their
child or their young adult doesn't slip through the cracks.
And then just just being there, being there for my family,
being there for those that love me, look up to
me and and just want to join the cause.

Speaker 2 (45:31):
I love it. How have teammates received the new Monte.
I'm sure they're excited. I mean, it's it's got to
be cool for them, But you're very different than you
were as a player with them.

Speaker 1 (45:41):
I got two guys I'll share this, So all the
guys for sure have sort of said this, but the
two guys that I talked to the most every single
day in a group chat, they don't even live here
in Colorado, but we did play together there and at Wisconsin,
and they've shared it multiple times that they are very
proud of me for becoming a man, owning your mistakes,

(46:02):
being transparent, going to treatment, looking in the camera, in
the face family of course, the person who I hurt
and saying I'm sorry, making amends, and for the last
nine years to ten years, showing that that's not who
I am, right, that this is who I am. And
so they've shared that with me multiple times, and same
for other teammates as well. They're like, they can't even

(46:22):
really recognize me. It's just proof I'm just one of
millions who have turned their life around. And I'm just
here to say to those that are going to listen
in on this that it's possible. Truly, is you got
to put the time in, the the work and the
things that I learned from the game of football I
poured into my recovery journey and will continue to that
being resilience, overcoming adversity, shutting out the outside noise, and

(46:44):
just working on yourself.

Speaker 2 (46:45):
Monte, this was fantastic, well worth the way. Thank you,
thank you, thank you for the invite.

Speaker 1 (46:51):
I really appre.

Speaker 2 (46:52):
Absolutely yeah, I appreciate it, all right, thank you, Thank you, Monte.
Appreciate your honesty, and thank you for checking out this
episode of Cut, Traded, Fired, Retired. If you liked this
episode or you know someone that could use the hope
that Monte brings with this episode, please share it. You
can keep up on the podcast guests by following on
Twitter and Instagram at CTFR podcast and also on the

(47:13):
website ctfrpodcast dot com. I'm your host, Susie Wargen. To
find out more about me, visit susiewargin dot com. Thanks
again for listening, and until next time, please be careful,
be safe and be kind. Take care