May 22, 2024 • 17 mins
My journey of becoming a dual citizen unraveled life-altering insights and emotional reckonings, tales of which I unfold in this episode. Through a transformative encounter with the US immigration authorities to the empowering moment of my naturalization, I delve into the intricacies of personal narrative and the profound impact of redefining my story. It's a reflection on healing, embracing a new sense of identity, and discovering an unwavering connection to the lush landscapes of Oregon.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Namae Ntumae (00:27):
Hi everybody.
I wanted to share with you anexperience that I had recently.
That was very powerful and hasa lot to do with our theme that
we've been exploring about theway that we tell stories and how
that influences our experience.
I have been in and out of theUnited States for the last 26
(00:49):
years and in 2022, theAustralian government changed
its policy and has finallyallowed dual citizenship with
compatible countries.
So, as a result of that, I putinto place a process whereby I
would become naturalized.
As a result of that, I put intoplace a process whereby I would
become naturalized as a UScitizen, retaining my Australian
(01:09):
citizenship as well.
Coming up to the time when itwas necessary for me to go into
the Department of Immigrationand go through the interview, I
became agitated and I recognisedthat I was still suffering from
some post-traumatic stress froman incident that happened to me
in 2001.
(01:30):
A long time ago, I had beentravelling in and out of the
United States on a visitor'svisa, which meant that I had six
months in the country and thenI needed to leave if I wanted to
come back and visit again.
So I was in Costa Rica and Icame back into the United States
through Los Angeles airport,but it was just after 9-11 and
(01:53):
the Department of Immigrationwas taking the heat for the
devastation of that event, andso they were pulling aside a lot
of people, and I was one ofthem, so I got thoroughly
searched.
It's not a pleasant experience,and it was their opinion that I
was travelling on the wrongvisa.
There was nothing about mypaperwork that was not in order,
(02:16):
but they've got total power.
When you're between countries,you've got no legal
representation, you've got norights whatsoever.
It was quite eye-opening for me.
I found myself detained in thejail underneath the airport, and
I'm sure most major airports inthe country actually have
similar facilities.
I was exposed to a prostitutionring was being broken, and all
(02:39):
of these young women notspeaking a word of English were
being detained and had no ideawhat was happening to them.
I saw drug rings being busted,a lot of physical abuse, a lot
of beatings.
It was a pretty eye-openingkind of experience.
I hardly had slept a wink forthe three days that I was
detained.
(03:00):
I was interrogated severaltimes, which is an extremely
stress-inducing experience, andat the end of those three days
there was really nothing thatthey could prove one way or the
other.
So I was taken back upstairs.
I was literally marched throughLAX Airport in handcuffs with
(03:23):
two burly immigration officerson either side of me.
I was literally walked onto theplane in that condition and
ended up seated in the middle ofa five seat row at the back of
a Qantas jet and was finallyunhandcuffed.
And then they left.
I didn't know where my passportwas, I didn't know where my
(03:44):
luggage was.
I just knew that I wasabsolutely exhausted and had no
reserves left.
It was pretty humiliating.
I recognised that the people oneither side of me in those
seats were leaning in theopposite directions.
Who knows what kind of storiesthey were making up about it.
I was the last person allowedoff the plane when I got to
(04:07):
Sydney Airport and then I wasdetained and interrogated once
again by the immigrationofficials in Australia.
When I got out of the airport Idid get my passport back,
finally, and my luggage luggage,and I called up a friend of
(04:28):
mine who was able to take me inand to give me the respite and
the food that I needed to getmyself back together again.
And then I began the wholeprocess of buying for a green
card.
My lover at the time came fromthe States to Australia and we
got married and I was able toreturn back a couple of months
later and got my green card andthen started my life in the
States.
(04:50):
My recollection of events got anupgrade when I went in to be
interviewed recently for mycitizenship.
There was a file literally sixinches thick of paperwork, which
was quite stunning.
I can't imagine what they hadin all of that paperwork An
interesting spin on the story,because my version of it was
that I was kicked out of thecountry, that I didn't belong,
(05:13):
that I was a victim of thisinjustice.
But their documentation saidthat I voluntarily withdrew my
application.
So I wasn't a victim and Ididn't get kicked out.
I actually chose to go toAustralia and start all over
again.
So it was just one of thosepoignant moments during the
interview that I discovered mystory was actually incorrect and
(05:36):
that it actually released me.
It gave me a sense of freedomto go.
Oh wow, I was not a victim inthat experience, even though I
was in a powerless position.
So in preparation for myinterview for this very
momentous occasion in my life, Idecided to get some bodywork
done and to take a 1906 "Chill"(cannabis product) at the same
(05:58):
time so that it would allow meto go deep into whatever stress
patterns I held inside of mybody and release them.
And release them I did.
There was some fear that mylife was at stake, but it wasn't
true.
What happened as I releasedthat fear was that I was able to
drop down to an incrediblesense of love that swamped me,
(06:21):
just absolutely bathed me inlove, coming from Mother Earth
and from particularly this landwhere I live here in Oregon.
There's a beautiful number ofportals that I've known about,
energetic portals on thisproperty, and there's a new one
that has opened up as a resultof my decision to become a
naturalized U.
S.
S citizen, and it spins a goldenlight right outside of the
(06:46):
window of our office.
And in this experience I alsofelt life was gifting me new
relationships, new people to bewith, new adventures, new events
, new invitations, and that lifewas just going to rush in and
support me in finally groundingmyself here in this country.
(07:07):
So when I finally went into theoffice of the Department of
Homeland and Security, I feltpretty relaxed and centered, and
it was interesting that I endedup being interviewed by one of
the strictest officers in thatorganization in Portland.
My lawyer advised me.
Afterwards, I was told thatthere'd be hundreds of questions
(07:29):
and at least a two-hourinterview.
I was only there about 20minutes.
I only had to answer a dozenquestions and I actually ended
up being sworn in the same day.
And that in itself was quitethe process, because there was
26 countries represented in thatroom, about 50 people going
through the process.
So I got a glimpse of some ofthe diversity that is here in
(07:52):
Portland.
It was quite beautiful.
The swearing-in ceremony wassomething in and of itself.
There was videos, there wasspeeches, there were politicians
, there was the Star SpangledBanner and the swearing
allegiance to the flag.
The Star Spangled Banner andthe swearing allegiance to the
flag.
What struck me was that itsfocus was very much on the
(08:15):
militaristic aspect of ourculture.
Quite stunning.
I hadn't really let that sinkin to the degree at which it was
being presented in that moment.
It made it quite clear to methat, whilst I am agreeing to be
in this country at a time whenit's very divided and there is a
lot of conflict that is beingpublicised, my commitment is to
(08:38):
the land and to you, to thepeople that I care about, to be
able to do my service in thisplace to let just a little bit
more love into this system thatat the moment seems quite
corrupt.
Following the induction intothis culture was one that just
left me vibrating for days anddays.
(09:00):
When I first got to America backin 1998, I lived in the forests
on Maui for quite some time asI traveled the world and during
that time I felt myself claimedby this earth in a new way and
my identity shifted intobecoming a citizen of the planet
, and that still holds true forme.
(09:23):
But now I can do a micro zoomin and claim myself in this
country, with this place, thisland, these trees, as my
homeland.
And I still fear a tearing upeven as I say that, because
there is both an expansion andan excitement at that newness,
(09:43):
but also a gripping, a sense ofgrief and loss for that which I
am leaving behind.
But the truth is I'll neverleave Australia behind.
It's too intrinsically woveninto my bones and I see this
more now as embracing dualcitizenship and dual
responsibility, a greater senseof homeland.
I feel the power and thepotency of straddling two
(10:07):
continents across the PacificOcean and having a very
deep-rooted sense of self andbelonging.
And I'm changing my story, mysense of myself as my identity
shifts to embrace this.
Most people, when they meet me,they hear my accent and they go
oh, where are you from?
And now I'm just laughing andsaying I'm from Portland Oregon.
(10:29):
And they'll say yeah, yeah,yeah, but where are you from?
And I get to make up my story.
You know, I might go into thestory about how I came from
Australia and set down rootshere, or I might simply say I'm
from Portland, Oregon.
My being is experiencing thisreckless freedom because, no
matter what happens, I can nolonger be deported from this
(10:53):
country, and so what hasactually happened is not just
that I've agreed to become a UScitizen.
I've actually finished a storythat has been 23 years inside of
my system.
I'm no longer that victim thatgets kicked out of the country.
I'm here and I'm with you andI'm super happy.
(11:18):
One of the things that amuses meat times is to turn on some
music on random, to see whichsong shows up.
It's a way for me to play withthe intelligence of life, as if
life is gifting me something,and I left the Department of
Immigration for the last timeand stepped out onto the streets
(11:41):
of Portland bursting withblossoms and petals falling down
around me.
It was quite something.
The song that came on when Iturned on my car is Way Home by
Tina Malia.
It certainly captures thesentiments of a lot of what I
feel now.
So here's the song.
It's the earth welcoming meever deeper into the heart of
(12:03):
this earth, but it's also mysentiments and my gift to you.
I hope you enjoy it.
(12:26):
Climb any mountain, cross everysea, till you find your way home
to me.
Climb any mountain, cross everysea till you find your way home
(12:53):
to me.
Find your way home to me.
My faith will be a lantern Ihold in my hand to light your
way across these desert lands.
Our faith will be a lantern Ihold in my hands To guide your
(13:24):
way across these desert lands.
Oh, so, climb any mountain,cross every sea, till you find
your way home to me.
(13:46):
So, climb any mountain, crossevery sea till you find your way
home to me.
I pray for love to guide you onthe road you walk upon.
(14:30):
I pray for love to lift you upto the place where you belong
and I pray I'll lead you up tothe place where you belong.
And I pray, I pray for you toknow, as long as I am in this
world, you will never walk alone.
(14:51):
So, climb any mountain, crossevery sea till you find your way
home to me.
Mountain, cross every sea tillyou find your way home.
(15:51):
See you now before me, light inthe trees.
I see you now before me and Ibelieve.
I see you now before me Dancinglike a light in the trees.
(16:11):
I see you now before me and Ibelieve.
(16:36):
If you want to find out more,come to CWays Home.
I look forward to being withyou.
Thank you.
Hi everybody.
I wanted to share with you anexperience that I had recently.
That was very powerful and hasa lot to do with our theme that
we've been exploring about theway that we tell stories and how
that influences our experience.
I have been in and out of theUnited States for the last 26
(00:49):
years and in 2022, theAustralian government changed
its policy and has finallyallowed dual citizenship with
compatible countries.
So, as a result of that, I putinto place a process whereby I
would become naturalized.
As a result of that, I put intoplace a process whereby I would
become naturalized as a UScitizen, retaining my Australian
(01:09):
citizenship as well.
Coming up to the time when itwas necessary for me to go into
the Department of Immigrationand go through the interview, I
became agitated and I recognisedthat I was still suffering from
some post-traumatic stress froman incident that happened to me
in 2001.
(01:30):
A long time ago, I had beentravelling in and out of the
United States on a visitor'svisa, which meant that I had six
months in the country and thenI needed to leave if I wanted to
come back and visit again.
So I was in Costa Rica and Icame back into the United States
through Los Angeles airport,but it was just after 9-11 and
(01:53):
the Department of Immigrationwas taking the heat for the
devastation of that event, andso they were pulling aside a lot
of people, and I was one ofthem, so I got thoroughly
searched.
It's not a pleasant experience,and it was their opinion that I
was travelling on the wrongvisa.
There was nothing about mypaperwork that was not in order,
(02:16):
but they've got total power.
When you're between countries,you've got no legal
representation, you've got norights whatsoever.
It was quite eye-opening for me.
I found myself detained in thejail underneath the airport, and
I'm sure most major airports inthe country actually have
similar facilities.
I was exposed to a prostitutionring was being broken, and all
(02:39):
of these young women notspeaking a word of English were
being detained and had no ideawhat was happening to them.
I saw drug rings being busted,a lot of physical abuse, a lot
of beatings.
It was a pretty eye-openingkind of experience.
I hardly had slept a wink forthe three days that I was
detained.
(03:00):
I was interrogated severaltimes, which is an extremely
stress-inducing experience, andat the end of those three days
there was really nothing thatthey could prove one way or the
other.
So I was taken back upstairs.
I was literally marched throughLAX Airport in handcuffs with
(03:23):
two burly immigration officerson either side of me.
I was literally walked onto theplane in that condition and
ended up seated in the middle ofa five seat row at the back of
a Qantas jet and was finallyunhandcuffed.
And then they left.
I didn't know where my passportwas, I didn't know where my
(03:44):
luggage was.
I just knew that I wasabsolutely exhausted and had no
reserves left.
It was pretty humiliating.
I recognised that the people oneither side of me in those
seats were leaning in theopposite directions.
Who knows what kind of storiesthey were making up about it.
I was the last person allowedoff the plane when I got to
(04:07):
Sydney Airport and then I wasdetained and interrogated once
again by the immigrationofficials in Australia.
When I got out of the airport Idid get my passport back,
finally, and my luggage luggage,and I called up a friend of
(04:28):
mine who was able to take me inand to give me the respite and
the food that I needed to getmyself back together again.
And then I began the wholeprocess of buying for a green
card.
My lover at the time came fromthe States to Australia and we
got married and I was able toreturn back a couple of months
later and got my green card andthen started my life in the
States.
(04:50):
My recollection of events got anupgrade when I went in to be
interviewed recently for mycitizenship.
There was a file literally sixinches thick of paperwork, which
was quite stunning.
I can't imagine what they hadin all of that paperwork An
interesting spin on the story,because my version of it was
that I was kicked out of thecountry, that I didn't belong,
(05:13):
that I was a victim of thisinjustice.
But their documentation saidthat I voluntarily withdrew my
application.
So I wasn't a victim and Ididn't get kicked out.
I actually chose to go toAustralia and start all over
again.
So it was just one of thosepoignant moments during the
interview that I discovered mystory was actually incorrect and
(05:36):
that it actually released me.
It gave me a sense of freedomto go.
Oh wow, I was not a victim inthat experience, even though I
was in a powerless position.
So in preparation for myinterview for this very
momentous occasion in my life, Idecided to get some bodywork
done and to take a 1906 "Chill"(cannabis product) at the same
(05:58):
time so that it would allow meto go deep into whatever stress
patterns I held inside of mybody and release them.
And release them I did.
There was some fear that mylife was at stake, but it wasn't
true.
What happened as I releasedthat fear was that I was able to
drop down to an incrediblesense of love that swamped me,
(06:21):
just absolutely bathed me inlove, coming from Mother Earth
and from particularly this landwhere I live here in Oregon.
There's a beautiful number ofportals that I've known about,
energetic portals on thisproperty, and there's a new one
that has opened up as a resultof my decision to become a
naturalized U.
S.
S citizen, and it spins a goldenlight right outside of the
(06:46):
window of our office.
And in this experience I alsofelt life was gifting me new
relationships, new people to bewith, new adventures, new events
, new invitations, and that lifewas just going to rush in and
support me in finally groundingmyself here in this country.
(07:07):
So when I finally went into theoffice of the Department of
Homeland and Security, I feltpretty relaxed and centered, and
it was interesting that I endedup being interviewed by one of
the strictest officers in thatorganization in Portland.
My lawyer advised me.
Afterwards, I was told thatthere'd be hundreds of questions
(07:29):
and at least a two-hourinterview.
I was only there about 20minutes.
I only had to answer a dozenquestions and I actually ended
up being sworn in the same day.
And that in itself was quitethe process, because there was
26 countries represented in thatroom, about 50 people going
through the process.
So I got a glimpse of some ofthe diversity that is here in
(07:52):
Portland.
It was quite beautiful.
The swearing-in ceremony wassomething in and of itself.
There was videos, there wasspeeches, there were politicians
, there was the Star SpangledBanner and the swearing
allegiance to the flag.
The Star Spangled Banner andthe swearing allegiance to the
flag.
What struck me was that itsfocus was very much on the
(08:15):
militaristic aspect of ourculture.
Quite stunning.
I hadn't really let that sinkin to the degree at which it was
being presented in that moment.
It made it quite clear to methat, whilst I am agreeing to be
in this country at a time whenit's very divided and there is a
lot of conflict that is beingpublicised, my commitment is to
(08:38):
the land and to you, to thepeople that I care about, to be
able to do my service in thisplace to let just a little bit
more love into this system thatat the moment seems quite
corrupt.
Following the induction intothis culture was one that just
left me vibrating for days anddays.
(09:00):
When I first got to America backin 1998, I lived in the forests
on Maui for quite some time asI traveled the world and during
that time I felt myself claimedby this earth in a new way and
my identity shifted intobecoming a citizen of the planet
, and that still holds true forme.
(09:23):
But now I can do a micro zoomin and claim myself in this
country, with this place, thisland, these trees, as my
homeland.
And I still fear a tearing upeven as I say that, because
there is both an expansion andan excitement at that newness,
(09:43):
but also a gripping, a sense ofgrief and loss for that which I
am leaving behind.
But the truth is I'll neverleave Australia behind.
It's too intrinsically woveninto my bones and I see this
more now as embracing dualcitizenship and dual
responsibility, a greater senseof homeland.
I feel the power and thepotency of straddling two
(10:07):
continents across the PacificOcean and having a very
deep-rooted sense of self andbelonging.
And I'm changing my story, mysense of myself as my identity
shifts to embrace this.
Most people, when they meet me,they hear my accent and they go
oh, where are you from?
And now I'm just laughing andsaying I'm from Portland Oregon.
(10:29):
And they'll say yeah, yeah,yeah, but where are you from?
And I get to make up my story.
You know, I might go into thestory about how I came from
Australia and set down rootshere, or I might simply say I'm
from Portland, Oregon.
My being is experiencing thisreckless freedom because, no
matter what happens, I can nolonger be deported from this
(10:53):
country, and so what hasactually happened is not just
that I've agreed to become a UScitizen.
I've actually finished a storythat has been 23 years inside of
my system.
I'm no longer that victim thatgets kicked out of the country.
I'm here and I'm with you andI'm super happy.
(11:18):
One of the things that amuses meat times is to turn on some
music on random, to see whichsong shows up.
It's a way for me to play withthe intelligence of life, as if
life is gifting me something,and I left the Department of
Immigration for the last timeand stepped out onto the streets
(11:41):
of Portland bursting withblossoms and petals falling down
around me.
It was quite something.
The song that came on when Iturned on my car is Way Home by
Tina Malia.
It certainly captures thesentiments of a lot of what I
feel now.
So here's the song.
It's the earth welcoming meever deeper into the heart of
(12:03):
this earth, but it's also mysentiments and my gift to you.
I hope you enjoy it.
(12:26):
Climb any mountain, cross everysea, till you find your way home
to me.
Climb any mountain, cross everysea till you find your way home
(12:53):
to me.
Find your way home to me.
My faith will be a lantern Ihold in my hand to light your
way across these desert lands.
Our faith will be a lantern Ihold in my hands To guide your
(13:24):
way across these desert lands.
Oh, so, climb any mountain,cross every sea, till you find
your way home to me.
(13:46):
So, climb any mountain, crossevery sea till you find your way
home to me.
I pray for love to guide you onthe road you walk upon.
(14:30):
I pray for love to lift you upto the place where you belong
and I pray I'll lead you up tothe place where you belong.
And I pray, I pray for you toknow, as long as I am in this
world, you will never walk alone.
(14:51):
So, climb any mountain, crossevery sea till you find your way
home to me.
Mountain, cross every sea tillyou find your way home.
(15:51):
See you now before me, light inthe trees.
I see you now before me and Ibelieve.
I see you now before me Dancinglike a light in the trees.
(16:11):
I see you now before me and Ibelieve.
(16:36):
If you want to find out more,come to CWays Home.
I look forward to being withyou.
Thank you.
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