Dad Starting Over
Welcome to the Dad Starting Over podcast! "Starting Over" means different things to different people. It could be that you're newly divorced and starting over fresh with a new life. It could be that you're still married and wanting to hit the reset button and finally do things right within your marriage. Whatever your story may be, you're in the right place. I'm Ralph, a.k.a DSO, the author of books called "The Dead Bedroom Fix", "Divorce Panic", "Real Talk" and "Red Flags". You can learn more about me, my books, one-on-one coaching, and the member-only part of my site called the Brotherhood at https://helpformen.com
Episodes
Keith has been married six years. No sex since baby #1. Volatile arguments. Threats of suicide. Police visits. And yet — he's afraid to leave. This is the classic trauma-bonded, broken-from-the-start marriage. In this episode, I talk about what it means to finally say “enough,” and how men can break free from toxic relationships.
Ross is in a marriage where intimacy is dead, but the jealousy is alive and well. Despite his massive physical transformation and emotional growth, his wife remains cold and uninterested — while also resenting any female attention he gets. Oh… and she had an affair last year. Let's unpack this contradiction and talk about what it really means when your wife doesn't want you, but doesn’t want anyone else to have you either.
In this Dear DSO submission, a husband shares his frustration: after two kids, his wife seems to have completely disappeared into motherhood. Once bubbly and fun, now she’s anxious, overwhelmed, and only shows affection after wine or exotic vacations.
He’s worked on himself, lost 60 lbs, rebuilt his confidence—but his wife won’t join him. No therapy. No gym. No time for herself. And definitely no connection with him as a ma...
Ned is a Special Ops vet whose marriage has seen it all — deployment, infidelity, gaslighting, emotional chaos… and now his wife wants to “separate, date around, and reevaluate in 6 months.” What should he do? This episode dives deep into how trauma, emotional abuse, and codependency show up in military marriages — and what men need to reclaim clarity and strength.
In this powerful Dear DSO entry, I read a message from a man whose wife left him after 20 years of marriage. He gave everything to his family—his time, energy, identity—and now he's completely lost. No friends. No hobbies. No direction.
This story is not uncommon, and it shines a light on what happens when men sacrifice themselves entirely for the sake of family and end up with nothing when it all falls apart.
In this video,...
A husband writes in with a heartbreaking and outrageous story: after 16 years of marriage and raising six boys together, his wife gave him an ultimatum — “Open marriage or no marriage.” She claims to be polyamorous and bisexual… and already has a boyfriend she’s in love with. Now she expects her husband to accept it — even while the boyfriend sleeps with her in their own marital bed.
In this episode of Dear DSO, Ralph (Dad ...
What happens when your wife cheats... not just with anyone, but with your married next-door neighbor you've known since childhood?
Jake wrote in to share his heartbreaking story of betrayal and confusion after discovering a year-long affair between his wife and their neighbor. They've been together 13 years, have kids, and he’s trying to work through it—but the emotional fallout is brutal.
In this episode, we break down:
Why ...
Victoria reached out to share her story — a candid, emotional, and often shocking look into a toxic relationship filled with insecurity, gaslighting, and infidelity.
From being accused of cheating over a sex toy…
To discovering her partner was visiting massage parlors and hiding condoms…
To finding the strength to walk away for the sake of her child and herself.
This is one woman’s raw account of breaking free, setting...
In this candid livestream, Ralph is joined by psychologist and creator of @psychacks , Dr. Orion Taraban, for a powerful and thought-provoking conversation on modern masculinity, dating, marriage, and purpose.
Topics include:
Why fewer men are choosing marriage
Whether commitment still makes sense in today’s dating landscape
The reality behind sex, status, and the modern mating game
Developing purpose without relying on exter...
What happens when a man starts taking control of his health—drops weight, hits the gym, starts TRT and Viagra—and his wife doesn’t like it?
In this clip from a Dad Starting Over livestream, I share a common (and surprising) reaction many men hear from their wives when they try to turn their life around physically, emotionally, and sexually. The truth? Some women feel threatened by the changes… especially when those changes ...
A reader sent me an email with some harsh feedback—he says my book is BS because by the time a man picks it up, his marriage is already doomed. He’s frustrated, resentful, and exhausted from trying everything, and he doesn’t believe any change in him will ever fix his wife’s lack of desire. Is he right? Or is he missing something deeper?
A man reached out with a tough confession: after years of a sexless marriage, he turned to porn—and now he feels trapped. He says he's addicted, his wife ignores the problem, and if she knew the full extent of it, she’d leave. He feels ashamed, lost, and desperate for an answer.
"But is porn really the issue here? Or is it just a symptom of a much bigger problem?"
Jennifer writes into to share the story of her OCD husband's super cleaning habits, and how she doesn't feel like it "counts" as helping out like "normal" guys do... because her husband's cleaning is an artifact of his disorder. I, like most men, will determine that her opinion on the value of his help is determined by how much he is suffering in the process.
No, Jennifer... this was not a good thing.
This is a clip from one of my recent DSO Live Streams on Facebook and Youtube.
What happens when a man gives everything to his marriage—only to discover it was built on lies? A follower emailed me with his devastating story: His wife had a long-term affair...and he discovered that their youngest child was not his. The betrayal, the heartbreak, and the life-altering truth—this is one of the most gut-wrenching stories I’ve e...
A follower shares his story that is, unfortunately, all too common. His woman gave him every indication that she wasn't really good long-term relationship material. In fact, she flat out TOLD him that she has issues with her sex drive when in relationships. Like a lot of codependent men, Liam took that as a challenge to prove his worth as a spouse. Now he is left wondering why his woman left him for a guy young enough to b...
This is a follow-up to a post I recently made about relationships floundering due to "silly" things like looks and money. Yes, those things matter! They don't go away just because you said, "I do". To think otherwise is foolish.
A follower reaches out to tell the story of his very chaotic and dysfunctional relationship. Like most, he had many opportunities to make a course correction, but he kept choosing the wrong turn each time. Cheating, divorce, dead bedroom, getting back together, more dead bedroom... It's not good!
A man reached out with a gut-wrenching confession: His wife is sick, and he’s doing everything to take care of her… but their marriage was broken long before the illness. For over a decade, he’s been doing everything alone—working, cooking, cleaning, and raising kids—while she slowly disconnected from the relationship. Now he’s at his breaking point, and even his own children are telling him to leave.
But how does a man wal...
A follower reaches out with a story that no man wants to hear: His wife told him that he wasn't big enough. To add insult to injury, she compared him to a much bigger ex-lover. Ouch. Why on earth would a wife say that to a husband?! Let's talk about it.
Ant, a follower, reaches out with his story of complete chaos. This is the perfect example of a naive man who marries a probably borderline wife, and the many examples of making the wrong decision at very crucial points in their relationship together. It all started from day one, and went downhill from there.
This one... in painful to listen to.
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