14 - Dog Hair in the Bed: When Fido Becomes the Boyfriend

Ever noticed how some women seem more attached to their furry companions than their human partners? That's exactly what we're diving into today – with both humor and psychological insight.

The rise of "dog mom" culture represents more than just cute Instagram posts. For many women, dogs fulfill emotional needs that past relationships failed to satisfy: unconditional love without complex demands, loyalty without question, and comfort without judgment. When a woman chooses her dog's company over meaningful human connection, she's often protecting herself from past relationship disappointments.

Looking beneath the surface of this dynamic reveals important lessons for divorced dads navigating the dating landscape. Rather than feeling threatened by a woman's close bond with her pet, understanding the underlying psychology can help you approach these relationships with confidence and compassion. Does her attachment to her dog represent unmet emotional needs? Is she seeking safety and control she hasn't found in human relationships?

We explore practical communication strategies that work – from using "help me understand" questions that open dialogue without judgment, to painting a positive vision of what you uniquely bring to the relationship that a dog simply cannot. The most effective approach isn't competing with her pet but complementing what her pet provides.

Most importantly, we discuss how a man who's confident in his masculine energy – who has his own mission and purpose – doesn't feel threatened by a woman's relationship with her dog. Instead, he recognizes that he brings novelty, adventure, and depth that no animal companion can provide.

Whether you're currently dating someone whose dog seems to take priority or simply want to better understand relationship dynamics, this episode offers both laughs and practical wisdom. Subscribe now and join our community of divorced dads navigating the wild world of dating with authenticity and purpose.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to Dad's Dating After Divorce, the
podcast where we navigate thewild wild world of dating
post-divorce with a healthy doseof reality, which we're going
to give today and hopefully withsome laughs as well.
I'm Jude Sandoval.
I am the founder of theDivorced Advocate and your

(00:21):
co-host, and joined by myesteemed and the one and only
Dallas Bluth, founder of BlackBox Dating.
Dallas.
Good to be back in the studioagain today with you.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
Great to be here, dude.
Thanks so much for calling meback week after week after week
to dive into the fantastic worldof dads dating after divorce.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
The fantastic or wild world.
Like I said, it is and can bewild, but it can be fun too if
you have the right mindset aswell, which I think we've got
today, because we've got a funtopic to talk about and we've
just got to laugh about some ofthis sometimes because some of
it is so ridiculous, but some ofit is really.

(01:08):
If you kind of pull the curtainaside and look beyond, what
you're seeing on the surface canbe enlightening and pretty
helpful as well.
So we've tentatively titledthis because I should also point
out to the dads listening thatwe don't script any of this.
I come up with kind of ageneral outline, we come up with

(01:33):
a topic.
You don't really know and Idon't really know how any of
this is going to go.
I've got the perspective of thedivorced dads and going through
that and dating as a divorceddad, and you're the dating and
relationship expert that knowsall about that.
So we kind of come up with atopic and a working title which

(01:54):
today is why do some women treattheir dogs better than their
men?
Which I have experienced, whichI have experienced, which I've
heard from some men, whetherthey're married or not married
or just in a relationship isfrustrating to them.

(02:16):
But we're going to talk a littlebit about that because on the
surface, sometimes guys will geta little bit butthurt, or or
complain about this and like thedog's got gourmet food but she
won't even cook dinner for me,or some other uh complaints.
You know the the dog took adump in the middle of the living
room but she gets all pissedoff at me if I don't empty that.

(02:38):
Forget to empty the dishwasher,right, like some of these
gripes that happen when you'rein a relationship.
So what we're going to try todo, dads, today, is find some
humor in it, but also peel awaythe layers of the onion and help
to unfold a little bit of therelational dynamics that might

(02:59):
be going on around that.
And even if you don'texperience this or you're not
experiencing it in a currentrelationship, it's going to be
good information for you to know, because I shared with Dallas,
just right before this, a veryfunny video about a woman who
has a dog that is essentiallyutilizing the dog as a

(03:22):
substitute romantic relationship, and it's just really, really
funny.

Speaker 2 (03:27):
Well, dude, I just have to jump in.
I mean, the term emotionalsupport animal is completely
applicable, you know, and we'reusing them as emotional support
animals and, yeah, the videothat you sent it basically gives
a voice to the dog and wesuddenly hear what the animal is
potentially thinking and werealize, oh, this has been a

(03:48):
one-way relationship really.
We've been leaning on them andthe humor of it was what does
the dog maybe actually thinkabout this relationship?

Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yeah, yeah, exactly, well, all right, and so that's a
good starting point for us.
Is kind of this societalmessaging around pets and and
and and tied in with that alittle bit?
Also, I would say not a littlebit is just kind of this quote

(04:15):
unquote dog mom culture, right,if, if, if you will hear and,
and so let's, let's talk aboutthat, if you will here, and so
let's talk about that,particularly if we start to see
somebody, whether we're in aromantic relationship or we meet

(04:36):
somebody that might starttalking about their dogs in this
dog mom.
And I'll tell you what this is.
Just for me, it's one of thosethings that I start perking up
and I don't want to say redflags, but it'll start me down
the path of asking questionsabout, like, okay, dog mom,
there's just no comparison fortaking care of a dog versus

(04:59):
raising a child.
It's just completely different,different worlds.
So you moms that are listeningout there, I, we recognize that
as dads and that's just justjust really, really crazy.
But but there is, you know this, this whole thing about that,
and so maybe let's talk aboutthat.

(05:20):
And then what's you know, whatis that saying about our society
?
And then what's you know, whatis that saying about our society

(05:41):
?
What is that saying also, maybe, about the person that we're
talking about and I just want toput a disclaimer out there here
is that you know we are not dogbashing here today at all.
Right, we love dogs.
I have a dog, charlie.
He's great, but he's my dog,he's not my emotional partner.
And dogs are great and there'sa lot of positives and they're
even finding scientific proofthat they bring benefit to being
in the family and beinginvolved in dogs.
So we're not dog bashing hereby any means.
We're just talking about it ina context of the relationship

(06:03):
that somebody might have withthem.

Speaker 2 (06:06):
So I was raised with six dogs myself.
Well, at one point we had asmany as six dogs in the house.
So I love dogs, dogs and I getalong really well.
I usually pass the quoteunquote sniff test from a dog
because when you meet a womanand she's got a dog, one of the
tests is does that dog like youor not I?
It is very rare that I do notpass that sniff test when flying

(06:28):
colors.
I like dogs, I get along wellwith dogs.
I also see dogs as not humans.
I see dogs as having aparticular place in life and, to
your point, particularly whenpeople are retired, when people
are older in life and they needan extra responsibility whether
they had children or not they'renot raising kids when they're
in their late 60s, 70s and 80sand having a dog as part of

(06:52):
their life can be verystimulating, it can be very
reassuring, it's a very healthypart of their life.
But I think what we're talkingabout right now is the place of
dogs, the role of dogs whenyou're in your 30s, 40s and 50s,
and I think that the term dogmom honestly we can take the air
quotes off it at this pointbecause it is a legitimate

(07:13):
choice.
To come back to some of thesesocietal type questions, it's a
legitimate choice that a lot ofadults are making.
Birth rates are way, way down.
From what I understand, thepopulation is going to be on the
decline, mathematicallyspeaking.
It doesn't sound like it'sreally a matter of opinion.
It sounds like it's a matter ofstatistical fact, and part of

(07:35):
this is well obviously peoplearen't having children.
And, to your point, having ahuman child is way, way, way
more responsibility, more work,more investment, more long-term
commitment.
It's a heavier job than havingother types of companionship or
other types of relationships.
I'm sorry that sounded like Iwas talking about children like

(07:57):
they're pets.
They're not, but I think andI've met several women in their
30s and 40s that they'rechoosing to have relationships
with dogs and they're notchoosing to have children.
Whether or not they're makingthe conscious trade-off between
those two, I haven't reallyasked and I'm not sure I would
get an entirely informed answeron their part, but the choice

(08:22):
seems to be clear that they arevery happy emotionally attaching
themselves to a dog or a cat,or more than one, and they seem
to be less motivated to havechildren at the same time.

Speaker 1 (08:38):
Yeah, I would agree with that 100%.
I don't feel like and this isjust my observations that you
would maybe get a real informedanswer around if you did ask
that question, and I don't thinkthat, and maybe more so now.

(08:59):
It is becoming a choice, butwhat I feel like is that this
has become a whole culturalthing, and it and and and the
challenge that I find in it isthat it's it is creeping even
more so.
So once you start doing what ishappening with you which you
just described, there's the,there is the, the.

(09:21):
If it is a choice, we'll.
We'll call it a choice.
All right, we'll talk aboutsomebody that is understanding
of their life and their lifechoices.
So, if it is a choice, they havemade that conscious choice that
this is going to be theirsubstitute for having a child.
What I'm finding now, though, isthat there's a creep to the

(09:42):
next level, which is it startsto become a replacement for a
romantic relationship, and kindof the humor in the video that
we were talking about which isthey're taking this whole other
level which you talk about, liketaking care of the dog, and
there is some nurturing thatgoes with it.

(10:02):
I know, before I was married,we got a dog, and that is
oftentimes kind of the levels orthe steps you take in a
romantic relationship is gettinga dog or a cat and doing that
and taking care of that, andit's kind of a precursor to
having kids, et cetera.
So it's kind of a test thingand you kind of see how the

(10:23):
other person reacts with that,but now it's substituting for a
child and instead of that beinga step, it is just the step, but
then it's going to the nextlevel, which, to me, then, is
starting to delve into.
Okay, what is this personmissing in their life that

(10:44):
they're needing to fill thiswith a non-human being that is
going to be providing somethingthat only, or they feel the

(11:05):
women with dogs.

Speaker 2 (11:07):
And one of the things is, you know, I mean all of us
have been burned in dating, allof us have been burned in
relationships.
We've all had our heart broken.
We've all had things that we'vehoped, things that we've been
told, and been very, verydisappointed, especially
speaking to divorced dads.
Everybody knows this story.
Disappointed, especiallyspeaking to divorced dads.

(11:27):
Everybody knows this story.
One of the things that's amazingabout animals and dogs in
particular they are incrediblyloyal.
They provide certain emotionalcomponents that really you know
you're going to get them whereyou don't know from another
human.
If you're going to get it, youknow that dog is going to be
loyal.
You know that dog is going tobe happy when it sees you when
you come home.

(11:48):
You know that that dog is goingto show appreciation.
You know that that dog is notgoing to be unfaithful to you.
You know that with that dogit's not really asking for
hardly anything from you.
A woman that's in a relationshipwith a man that man wants sex,
that man wants a certain type ofemotional support and speech,

(12:08):
that man wants a certain type offreedom, that man wants a
certain type of attention fromher.
It's very complex and that isasking a lot of the woman when
with a dog, okay, there arecertain responsibilities taking
him for a walk and all that butthey're really quite simple and
the woman feels very much incontrol of all of those elements

(12:29):
.
When you compare that to abunch of really lame boyfriends
that you've had in your life,can you blame the woman for
wanting a simpler relationship?
And if the dog honestlyprovides her with a certain
amount of feeling safe andprotected, which they really do
can you really blame her forwelcoming a dog into her life as

(12:52):
a replacement?
Really, and it makes sense whenwomen a lot of times are not
getting these elements from guysor they've had a lot of past
bad experiences.
Part of it makes sense why theywould turn to a dog and let

(13:13):
that dog occupy that position intheir life.

Speaker 1 (13:18):
Yeah, so can we describe what you just talked
about as far as what a dogprovides?
Can we describe what you justtalked about as far as what a
dog provides?
Can we?
Would you would you feel goodin just describing that as
unconditional love, right, Likethat's what they're, what
they're experiencing from thedog is unconditional love.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
And I would add to that it's a simplified version
of unconditional love.
Unconditional from love from ahuman is more complex.
Unconditional love from a dogis a dog's version of
unconditional love, but yes,from a dog it is unconditional.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yeah right, like it's never going to be mad at you,
right?
It's never going to have thecomplex emotions that a human
has.
It's never going to hold agrudge.
There's none of that higherconsciousness that humans have.
That you described as difficult, and is the difficult and

(14:19):
challenging things about aromantic relationship?
All of those other things thatyou described is what makes
romantic relationships so muchmore challenging.
But, going to your point of, canyou blame them?
I can't, because to me, you'renot experiencing the real,

(14:43):
unconditional love that we lookfor in a partnership, which is
our design, our human design andwhat we're meant to be.
You talked about birthing ratesgoing down and you know there's
less formations, there's lesspeople getting married, like.
There's all kinds of thesethings, and by substituting many
of the other things dogs arejust one of them there's a

(15:06):
myriad of things that we've gotin our society at this point
that you can substitute for thatromantic relationship that we
need.
Let's just not pretend aboutthis.
We need romantic relationshipsand we need interactions with
other human beings in our lives.
This is just a necessity thatwe have.
So I can.
So, while you say, like, canyou fault them?

(15:28):
Like I understand it, but Ican't fault for me for saying
like no, I'm not, I'm just I'mopting out, right, and this goes
both ways, right?
This is not just for the womendoing this, this is for the men
that are opting out also, or theMGTOWs, or any of the other
ones that are opting out ofthese relationships and just

(15:48):
focusing on one thing too.
So it goes both ways.
And so, on that note you didtalk about, so we can agree that
it's unconditional life, likewe're all looking for that,
they're looking for that, we'relooking for that, that
unconditional love.
This is a very primordial, likevery basic way that you get
that through a dog.

(16:09):
They're always going to giveyou the unconditional love and
that's something that we alwayscreate.
So, with that in mind, youbrought something else up, which
is control, right, like ifyou've been through so that was
on my list, right, you nailed itLike that was one of the top
ones, that's.
That is, if you've been throughthese disappointing and maybe

(16:33):
and maybe traumatizing orabusive relationships with with
somebody you don't have a, youdon't have control over what the
next one's going to be like,and you're dealing with all
those emotions and those issuesthat have come up in the past.
Like, let's talk about maybehaving some empathy around and

(16:54):
start to ask those questions.
So, like I said, one of thelike when I start hearing you
know, my dog sleeps with me orI'm a dog mom, or that stuff, I
like like the antennas go up andI start asking lots of
questions, right and and reallyto try to get to understand,
like, what is the depth of this?
Is this like some something youreally need therapy about, or

(17:14):
is this something that maybe wecan, we can work through and,
like, have a healthyrelationship?

Speaker 2 (17:21):
therapy with someone other than your dog?

Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah because your dog is not qualified to help hold
up the mirror appropriately.

Speaker 2 (17:39):
Precisely 100% accept it and it's fine.
One of the things that I workwith with my clients all the
time is a ton of frustration.
Men are very frustrated to thepoint of anger, to the point of
powerlessness and to the pointof just desperation and not
knowing what to do.
And the real problem is whenour perception of the world we

(18:02):
meet somebody who's a dog momdog sleeps in the bed, there's
dog hair everywhere and theirwhole schedule is run by their
dog and they don't have time tomeet and date a man it can get
really, really frustrating forthe guy on the outside.
The whole reason I brought upthe point of view of why a woman
might turn to a dog for this isso that we can have compassion

(18:23):
for the woman when we enter intoit.
If we have compassion for whythis might make sense, where
this might be coming from andhow this is solving a problem
for her.
That was there long before wearrived.
When we can understand thatwhat it does is it defuses some
of the anger and frustrationthat we can feel as a man
approaching a woman who'salready got a dog for a

(18:45):
boyfriend and there is basicallyit's a two-way fork in that
road.
Either we can get frustratedand accusatory and say this is
wrong and all that's going to dois turn her off and lock up the
conversation and really thingsare not going to go forward very
well, or you can say you know,it makes sense why she needed

(19:07):
this up to this point andperhaps with me entering her
life, with me fulfilling some ofthese roles, maybe that will
start to transfer some of thatneed back into the human
relationships in her life and itmight help to re-regulate and
provide a healthy dynamic thatshe didn't have before.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
Yeah Well, but we also have to be very careful
around that too, right?
We don't want to be whiteknighting, we don't want to be
fixing, we don't want to do someof that unhealthy stuff that we
like as guys just naturallywant to start doing.
Which leads me to my nextquestion.
Is so, like you said, havingcompassion and understanding?

(19:50):
That's different than accepting.
So you can be compassionate,you can be understanding.
You don't have to be acceptingof this.
Maybe that this does not workinto your life and you just
can't like.
For me, dogs will never sleepin my bed.
So if that's something that ispart of your life and you just
can't like, for me, dogs willnever sleep in my bed.
So if that's something that ispart of your life, you think
you're a dog mom and you want tosleep with your like we're

(20:12):
never, it's just never.
That's a, that's a full stop,right there.
Like it's not going to everwork that is a line in the sand
it is a, it is a line we'redrawing it and
no, no, if you, yeah, if you, ifyou lick your butt daily,
you're just not not going tosleep in the bed with me Like,
yeah, it's just so thatunderstanding and the compassion

(20:33):
around it.
So my question to you is like,do you even get involved with
this person?
Is this somebody?
Is this something that maybe?
Hey, I'm a divorced dad, I gotkids, I got a lot going on.
I maybe is this just a sign ofsomebody that has not done the

(20:54):
personal work to not fill thevoid that they're looking for
through something else?
Like and I'm going to it's alittle bit of an extreme
comparison, but it's maybe inthe same vein as somebody that's
utilizing a substance to numbsomething.
So is that fair?
Is that fair to look at it in?

Speaker 2 (21:14):
that light.
I think so.
I think it's fair to ask thequestion.
I don't think it's fair toassume that the level of
emotional dependency on ananimal is the same as someone
that's an alcoholic or smokesweed every day because they just
need it to try to unwind and goto sleep.
I don't think it's fair toassume that out of the gate.

(21:36):
I think it's always, alwaysfair to ask the question

(22:00):
no-transcript.
To me that's a red flag.
You know that I'm basically likeif a mother says that about her
children, I'm going to saythat's a green flag, of course,
that those are the mostimportant people in your life,
absolutely Because they'redependent on you.
A dog, yes, they are dependenton you, but it's a much smaller

(22:24):
scale.
The question that I would beasking as I'm talking to this
woman getting to know her, goingon more dates I would just be
simply asking myself how muchroom is there for me in this
woman's life and how much isthis woman's life already
occupied by a dog and she'slooking for a man that kind of

(22:46):
goes side by side with the dogat a similar sort of level and
meets different needs, butreally is sort of at the same
level?
I personally don't put humanrelationships on the same level
as relationships with animals.
I just don't.
That was how I was raised.
That is, I believe, what Iwould consider to be a healthy
connection and attachment withanimals.

(23:06):
I think we just have to trustour gut when we well.
I mean, one question is howmuch does this woman continually
talk about her dog and bringthem up?
I've met women.
They have a dog.

(23:27):
I didn't even know it for awhile.
I consider that to be a veryhealthy relationship with a dog.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
Yeah, absolutely, another phrase I like to use is
help me understand, right.

Speaker 2 (23:41):
Already a great sign If you have to ask a woman.

Speaker 1 (23:43):
help me understand your relationship with your dog
well no, yeah, like help meunderstand why you want to sleep
with your dog, right like that.
That's a.
I feel like that is alegitimate question, like and,
and, and I can say lots of timesthey have no real understanding

(24:04):
of why, which then leads me towhat you just described, which
is they don't then have a reallygood grasp of where they're at
and what that relationship iswith their dog, how it compares
to their relationships with thehumans in their life, like they
just haven't done the work andthe analysis around that.

(24:27):
If they can't answer some ofthis, some of those you know,
help me understand why questions.

Speaker 2 (24:33):
So I just talking about conversation skills for a
moment in something you know, insomething like like, like, like
your relationship with your dog.
When we ask the question why,that is a more challenging
approach to the conversation.
It's a little moreconfrontational maybe and
because we're basically puttingit completely on them.
If you said, can you express tome what it is that a dog or can

(24:57):
you help share with me?
That's a little bit softer wayof maybe saying why and I
understand you might not beusing the word why I'm doing
this for the sake of theaudience, to realize, when you
ask the question why, that isthe highest almost it is way up
there as far as confrontationalspeech patterns in a
conversation yeah, no, thephrase is help me understand.

Speaker 1 (25:19):
Help me understand, okay.
Yeah, help me understand.
X.
Help me understand.
Help me understand.
Okay, help me understand.
X.
Help me understand the dogsleeping.
Help me understand.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
Wonderful.
Okay, thank you.
Thank you for clarifying that.
I would add to it.
If she doesn't have an answer,I wouldn't necessarily.
I would look towards helpingher articulate what she's
feeling.
A lot of women that I've beenwith, they're not words people.
They're not good at bringingand articulating the thoughts at
the conscious level.

(25:47):
And for me, I don't want todisqualify a woman simply
because she's not as verballyarticulate and on the ball as I
am.
I've actually been told bywomen that they can be rather
intimidated by how easily Iarticulate my thoughts.
I don't want them to feelintimidated.
I don't want them to feel likeI'm putting them on the spot.

(26:08):
So, in yours, help meunderstand and then possibly
bring up suggestions.
Is it the fact that you're coldat night?
Is it the fact that you likeknowing there's something,
something else alive in your bed?

(26:28):
Is you know?
And what I'm alluding to iscould I as a man be providing
some of these things that thedog has been providing?
Cause you don't want to feelthat alone in the middle of the
night.

Speaker 1 (26:34):
Yeah, so can I, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And this, I didn't anticipateus going down this route, but I
think it's really importantbecause what you just described
to like, I can articulate, likeI've done a lot of thought
around it, but I'm also able toarticulate things well.
So, same thing, I'm able toarticulate whatever it is that

(26:55):
my desires, my feel like,whatever it is.
But oftentimes I've run intothis too Women are, do not, are
not able to like they might havea feeling so, but here's,
here's the only, here's the onlychallenge I find in what you're
just describing which is comingup is oftentimes there's just
agreement around it, becausethey want to be pleasing to you

(27:15):
about what you are, about whatyou're saying, so, so, so maybe,
when you're doing that, have itbe multi-dimensional, is it?
Is it like you?
Just, you just said threethings in a row, is it?
Do you want to have somebody inyou know, something warm in
your bed?
Like, like, is it multiplethings so that they have
multiple, multiple, like amultiple choice question,

(27:36):
multiple answers, but thereisn't a single answer?
And if, if they don't have ananswer, what is the follow-up
question to that?
Like, if the answer is, oh, Ireally don't know, I haven't
thought about it.
What, what is, what is?
What is the follow-up to that?
Because I get that I what I,what I've?

(27:58):
My experience is they eitherpick one just to pick one
because they can't articulate it, or it's I really don't know,
because they just don't know andthey haven't really thought
about it.

Speaker 2 (28:07):
Yeah Well, one is also along with somebody being
able to articulate themselves.
Well, we have an expectationthat the other person can
articulate themselves well onthe spot.
So we've asked the question.
Give it time, let that, letthat sink in.
Give that person time to comeback to it days later, weeks
later, and that might haveactually germinated some genuine

(28:29):
answers.
Give it time Again, I usuallyknow what I'm thinking on the
spot and having that expectation, or particularly having that
ability, can really fluster thewoman and she can feel, you know
, really anxious.
So, essentially, let the topicdrop for a minute, let it go,

(28:50):
let it digest a little bit.
You know, come back to it laterand go.
I'm just curious.
You know we talked a couple ofweeks ago about this.
Has anything come to mind sincethe last time?
I'm just curious.
And maybe there is, maybe thereisn't, and somebody that is
engaged with the relationshipand someone that is listening to
what you're asking about andcares about what you're asking

(29:12):
about is probably going to thinkabout it.
Given it, another thought inthe last two weeks is showing a
certain amount of attention andcare for what you're talking
about, and that is a two-waystreet, by the way, women are
very much interested in sayingwhat did the guy listen to in

(29:33):
what I said and did he thinkabout it?
Did he bring it back?
It shows a whole differentlevel of awareness?

Speaker 1 (29:39):
Yeah, absolutely, and if they're asking you questions
like that, that is a tremendoussign, right?
Because then what they're doingexactly the same thing that
we're saying that you should bedoing, which is asking questions
to try to understand, to try tosee where this relationship

(30:00):
falls, where the opportunitiesare, if there are, because we've
talked in the past about webring so much into relationships
because, especially if we'redivorced dads, we've got all of
this stuff that we bring in Idon't want to say baggage, I
would say experiences that we'vehad through life, and then we
have what we're experiencing now, and so do women, and

(30:21):
oftentimes we're going to bedating women that have children
and all of their experiences too.
So the help me understandquestion is a really good one,
and I want to also add to whatyou said about this being like.
This isn't just a questionabout dogs sleeping in your bed.
This is a good question aboutother big things in your life.

(30:44):
Help me understand what a lifelooks like with a partner and a
blended family, and questionslike that and your point about
maybe come back to that later,because sometimes they haven't,
I think they haven't eventhought, haven't even thought
about it.
So the difference heremasculine mind, male mind,

(31:08):
feminine mind, female mind,right Very different on how we
approach things.
Like we've maybe thought aboutthis in a linear fashion and
thought about a scenario Athrough Z right.
Like we've mapped this out amyriad of different ways.
Don't necessarily or haven'tnecessarily done that, and part

(31:32):
of our responsibility asmasculine leaders in a
relationship, even if you'rejust starting dating, is maybe
starting to map that thoughtprocess with questions like help
me understand and thenfollowing up with it and doing
that on an ongoing basis, right?

Speaker 2 (31:53):
Yes, absolutely.
And another component that Ifeel is very, very effective and
maybe you don't do this rightup front.
Maybe you ask the questions,you let those questions sink in,
you let them come back to itlater in time and expand on it.
But eventually what you reallywant to do is you want to
present a picture of what isattractive to you, why it's

(32:17):
attracted to you and because alot of times, well, I don't want
a dog in my bed.
That's not a positive picture.
That is confrontational.
You're basically saying no andrejecting someone in a certain
area.
If you can say I love how cleanand smooth it feels, just the
two of us being intertwined inbed.
I want it to just be us whenwe're in bed.

(32:40):
When you say it in thoseparticular words, you're using
words that a lot of women arethinking also.
They don't want anyone else inthat bed.
They want it to be nice andclean.
They want it to be a nice,clear connection.
When you describe being alonewith a woman in bed like that,
very few women are like no, Idon't like that, I want it to be

(33:01):
lots of messy, I want lots ofother animals involved.
They're just not going to saythat, but it's entirely possible
that they haven't seen it thatway Again.
The last relationships they hadthey didn't like.
So ex-boyfriend out the doordog in the door dog in the bed.
And now this is what bedtimelooks like and feels like.
When you paint a picture of whatlaying in bed can be like, with

(33:25):
just two human bodies andwithout all the dog hair and
slobber and extra heat andweight on top of the blankets,
all that stuff that comes intoplace and it's just the two of
you, she might have completelyforgotten what that looks like.
She might have completelydetached from it.
I think it's our job as men tobring an attractive picture.

(33:46):
That's.
The key is, you want to paint apicture that is attractive to a
woman as opposed to one that isnegating, rejecting and just
limiting and trying to tearapart the picture that she
already has.

Speaker 1 (34:01):
Yeah.
So I feel like that is aterrific point and you know, I'm
just sitting here thinking tomyself.
I'm kind of laughing like we'reusing such a ridiculous example
.

Speaker 2 (34:12):
Okay, but it's not, it is I know it is Well.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
To me, that's the point in why it's so ridiculous.
Is that we're like having thisconversation, but I think it's a
good?
Is that we're like having thisconversation, but I think it's a
good one?
Like we can all relate to it,like we can relate to it as guys
and dads and women, and we'reseeing this and we're
experiencing this.
But I also want to bring thisto the bigger picture, which is
these conversations, even theselittle conversations that seem

(34:40):
ridiculous, have a broader scopeto them, because the feedback
that you're going to get fromthis conversation and say, and
so, for example, like you'resaying, okay, you've described
what you envision and areinviting her into that, right,
like we talk about creating yourenvironment, creating, creating
a picture, moving things inthat direction of that picture.

(35:03):
So, when we get to this andwhen you get the fee, you got to
pay attention to the feedback,because here's, here's a mistake
I've made lots and lots oftimes, is that I get, yeah, me
too, and I'm like, oh, cool,like and, and, and they I'm like
they buy into, like they wantto be part of it.
And then we start to get downthe road a little bit and then,

(35:26):
using this example, which hasnever happened to me, because I
just like I can't get past thedog thing, like if the dog
showed jumped up in the bed Iwould lose my mind anyway.
But like you get down the roadand then you describe that, you
describe that and then theactions don't support what they
have said, they believe also.

(35:47):
Then what kind of like whathappens with the conversation?
Then and again we're using thisdog example.
Guys, I know you might besaying you two are just insane
using this example.
I think it is a really good onebecause you're going to run
into it, but it's a very funny,friendly, easy one to put your
mind around.

(36:07):
But it's going to be the samefor big conversations like what
does our environment look likewith a blended family?
What are our values aroundspirituality or whatever it is?
This is a placeholder for that,but you know it's.
It applies the same dude.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
I don't think any man listening to this is going.
You guys are going too far intothis.

Speaker 1 (36:30):
If anything, they're saying finally, somebody is
calling this out, somebody isringing the alarm on the dog,
that's actually what they'rethinking, so okay.

Speaker 2 (36:45):
So when it comes to the woman, that's simply saying
oh yeah, me too, giving a littlebit too much of an easy
agreement.
So I see this as coming back toa question about how the male
and female minds do operatedifferently, and I see a
particular, I see particularroles, and it's because it's
it's what gives the most life to, you know, a masculine mind,

(37:08):
and what's gives the most lifeto a feminine mind.
When we're co-creating Causehere we're talking about what do
we want a life to look like?
You're co-creating, both of youneed to be contributing, Both
of you need to be winning in theprocess.
So the way I see it is that themasculine mind our job is to be

(37:29):
the author From scratch.
We come up with and generatefrom scratch things that look
appealing, that sound good, thatwe think would be fun, and
we've talked about it in pastepisodes.
You essentially composeinvitations that you extend to
the woman and she says yes or no.
That's what the responsibilityis, and men tend to feel alive
when we come up with ideas fromscratch that we can offer to a

(37:52):
woman.
Now, the feminine mind andobviously this is not like all
black and white.
It's not that men are doing allthe from scratch creativity and
women are doing none of it.
Of course women are doing someof it and vice versa.
But women I have seen really,really enjoy it if a man
generates the ideas and thenthey're able to edit them.

(38:12):
So man is the author coming upwith the rough draft manuscript
of tonight's activity, or whatit's going to look like with or
without dogs in the bed.
And then the woman it likes thefact that she didn't have to
put all that out there, that shedidn't have to expend that
creative energy, but that shehas essentially editing power in

(38:33):
the process and go.
Well, what if we did this?
Or what about that?
What if we took it from threedogs down to one dog?
How does that work?
And that is in a lot of ways.
And again, men, we can edit andwomen can.
Author.
I'm not saying this is all 100%one or the other, but generally
speaking, that seems to be whatbrings men and women to life.
And the trick is, if a woman issaying, oh yeah, me too, I love

(38:58):
that.
If she's not, actually sheneeds to be kind of contributing
and editing a little bit, sothat you know.
One, she really heard whatyou're talking about.
Two, she's processing it,thinking it, because the odds
are she's going to want toadjust things a little bit along
the way way.
For me, that's the indicationthat we have two-sided buy-in to

(39:21):
the life, to the vision, to thetype of experience that we both
want to have.
We need the guy putting theidea out there and then checking
to see does the woman try toedit and adjust things so that
we can find something in themiddle that works for both of us
?

Speaker 1 (39:36):
Yeah, I think that's a great way to describe it.
I like the author editing oneOne I've heard before is the men
build and women like build ahouse and women make it, make it
a home right, the same, that'sthe same concept.
Like, like they refineeverything to be, which is
really the kind of the design,right, they enhance and refine

(39:57):
and make everything detailed andbeautiful and just really
really nice, right, that's themasculine-feminine dynamic, when
happening in a healthy manner,is really absolutely phenomenal
and it's inspiring for men, itis comfortable for women, it is

(40:18):
just a really really nicecircumstance to find yourself in
.
So okay, so we talked aboutthat.
Let's pivot a little bit.
I think that was really reallygood information.
I hadn't even that wasn't evenin my notes right To get into
about the conversations aroundthat and it comes like Dallas.

(40:39):
The thing that strikes me everytime we're talking is it?
It comes down to how we'recommunicating with women and
it's almost because wecommunicate so differently that
scene and I can speak to workingwith so many different divorce
or divorcing dads that there'sso many times and one of the

(40:59):
first things I asked them islike what have you done to try
to save things before you mayhave gotten.
You may have gotten to thispoint and is there an
opportunity?
Because it's way, way easier tosave the marriage than it is to
go through a divorce and havethat and then find a new, like
dude.
That's way way more complicated.

(41:20):
And almost exclusively, I findthat some sort of breakdown in
communication, absent some sortof abuse or significant personal
disorder or something like that.
Communication is like thenumber one thing.
That is the reason why arelationship fails.
So it just strikes me, everytime we're talking about this it

(41:41):
comes to how did youcommunicate, how can you refine
that?
How can you do this better?
So just something I want topoint out.
And guys start to think, like,think about, pay attention to
how you're doing that, whetherit's with your romantic partner,
with your kids, at work, etcetera.
How are you communicating?
Right?
Like I know that there's a waythat I come up and communicating

(42:02):
like I'm pretty black and white, like the drill sergeant kind
of thing.
Like why, because that's myanswer that does not work really
well, especially with a woman,right?

Speaker 2 (42:15):
So I I, I a hundred percent agree, and it is funny,
you know, regardless of whetherwe're talking about a Hollywood
movie or dogs, or you know, youknow smokers.
You know regardless of what itis.
You're right, the principlesreally are few and and really
pretty basic.
The interesting thing is thatthe way they play out is

(42:35):
infinite.
Is that the way they play outis infinite.
So these principles, just youknow, and almost everything that
we say on any topic, of courseit can be refuted.
Of course it always, always,depends on lots and lots of
things.
I assume the audience knowsthat.
The thing about communicationand I am 100% agree that good

(42:56):
communication is most of arelationship but a big part of
having that communication is youhave to have clarity before you
enter into that communication.
A lot of people and a lot ofthe men that I work with, they
enter a conversation thinkingthey're going to figure out

(43:16):
where they stand or what theywant.
We have the three C's in blackbox dating.
It's confidence, communicationand connection.
Confidence is getting squarewith yourself and knowing.
I don't want a dog in my bedwhen I'm sleeping at night
period.
Maybe it's okay in theafternoon because we throw a
blanket over it and it's picnictime on the bed and I'm okay

(43:38):
with that.
But when it's time to actuallygo to sleep, the dog is not
allowed on the bed.
You know, I'm confident andsquare myself with that.
And when I bring that to acommunication, when I'm
expressing it to somebody, ifI'm entering a conversation sort
of like, well, I'd like to talkto you about the dog in the bed
situation, I'm just, how do youfeel about it?

(44:00):
It's very wishy-washy and well,we're communicating, we're
talking about it.
Well, you need to know whereyou stand first and be able to
communicate in a one-waydirection first and then see how
does that other person a womanin this case reciprocate and
come back to you and when theyreciprocate and you have that

(44:20):
two-way vulnerability andcommunication.
That's where that last Cconnection really comes into
play.

Speaker 1 (44:26):
Yeah, I think that's absolutely perfect.
And it kind of leads me intowhat I wanted to pivot to, which
is let's, with the time thatwe've got remaining, chat a
little bit about, about.
So, if they are substitutingthis for the romantic, what is
it that they might be missing intheir lives that they're

(44:48):
obviously needing from amasculine partner?
Because, because there there isthat, that's that's, that's
that's happening and and it'sunfortunate, I I always feel
really sad when I see this, like, oh man, this person has not
experienced really the, thefullness of what I just
described, a healthy masculine,feminine dynamic where they're

(45:12):
feeling like all of these things.
Let's talk about some of thosethings that a dog would be
substituting for them, that youalluded to earlier, that we can
like.
And let me just be clear, guys,we're not, we're not fixing.
Ok, don't get into fixing,don't get into white knighting.
Be aware of it, beunderstanding of it, be

(45:33):
empathetic around it, but don'tbe trying to be like OK, well,
here I come, I can replace thedog, right, okay, you're not
going to do that.
If she hasn't figured it out onher own that she's doing this,
the probability you're going toraise that awareness is really
really low, okay, but just knowwhat that is and it's going to
help you, like maybe there'ssomebody who hasn't thought

(45:53):
about these things and then whenyou start asking those
questions, it'll help meunderstand and then you can
start doing the invitations likeDallas has talked about.
So take us through a little bitabout what they're missing.

Speaker 2 (46:07):
Yeah Well, what they're missing is certain
things being delivered in aneffective way.
So what are dogs reallyeffective at?
They're really good at beingdevoted.
They're really good at givingfocused, undivided attention and
love unconditionally to a woman.
They're very, very good at that.
A lot of men not so good atthat.
A lot of men are really good atsplitting up their interest

(46:28):
into a lot of different ways,and women crave that.
Women need to feel a certainamount of being picked and in
not intensity, but a certainamount of feeling special, that
they are being chosen by theirman.
The dog picked them.
They are their guardian, theyare their woman.
That is it for them for therest of their lives.

(46:49):
It's hard to really beat thatlevel of devotion from a dog,
but realizing that the dog doesthat well and can ask yourself
well, am I bringing that levelof pure focus, pure choosing her
, pure devotion, am I bringingthat to the table?
Yeah, safe, safe, yeah go ahead.

Speaker 1 (47:09):
Well, yeah, let's, let's talk about that for a
quick second, because so I'm.
So what I'm hearing is guyssaying, well, like how am I
going to do that when we're justdating, like I'm not going to
jump in and be like, oh, I'mdevoted to you, like that would
be a big turnoff, right, sodon't, don't go that route, but
maybe we can.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, we're taking justpresence, like I describe as

(47:29):
what you just described aspresence, presence and being
present.

Speaker 2 (47:33):
Right, Like yeah.

Speaker 1 (47:35):
Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 2 (47:35):
I'm jumping in on yeah.
Yeah, I'm jumping in on you.
It's absolutely it's presence.
You know what is your presencewhen you're there and being
present.
And another and a third elementI would throw in.
It's sort of paradoxical, butthe more you're doing with your
life that has nothing to do withthis date or this woman, the
more you are actually setting onthe back burner for an evening

(47:56):
when you're with her and sherealizes, wow, like, for example
, if you imagine I was, you know, jeff Bezos or whatever, and
I've got tons of stuff going on.
Lots of people want my time andeverything.
If I put everything aside tospend a weekend with you, you
know how important you are to meand the only way that you know
is because of all the otherthings that I normally am doing

(48:19):
in my life that I have set tothe side.
So, paradoxically, part of thereason that you demonstrate
presence and devotion and focuson someone is to have so many
other things in your life thatyou are temporarily putting on
pause so that you can give themyour undivided attention.

Speaker 1 (48:36):
Yeah, and so the next part of that is when you do get
in an exclusive relationshipand you then then you, you need
to continue to keep that thatbeing present happening all the
time, cause then that's when youcan get lackadaisical about hey
, we spend so much time together, I'm not really present, I'm
not paying attention, I'm notlistening to what you're saying,

(48:57):
I don't hear what your feelingsare.
It's, you know, all of thethings that we hear as
complaints about after thehoneymoon phase.
That's then become problems.

Speaker 2 (49:07):
And if you want, if you want a good, concrete image,
you know, think, go back tohunter, gatherer societies.
You know, fine, leave the dogwith the, with the woman you
know, because you need to go outon the hunt and she doesn't
know when you're coming back andshe knows that you're going to
bring things back that that dogisn't bringing back.
You know you're bringing backfood, you're bringing back

(49:28):
stories and adventures.
You're hopefully bringing backall of your male companions, but
you might not Meaning, you'rebringing back a suspense and an
edge to the whole life processthat you're going through as a
tribe.
The dog isn't doing any of that.
The dog has a limit to itsdevotion and when you, as a man,
have a much higher purpose,women feel that you need to

(49:55):
maintain that.
Going out on the hunt, goingout, you know, club something
over the head, drag it home, beimpressive, you know about what
you do with your life and whatyou know it's like.
What is the phrase Like?
How can I miss you If you'realways here?
Don't always be there, go outand do something else.
The dog is always there.

(50:16):
And go ahead and let that dog,you know, play that role at that
point.
But you as a man are going tofulfill a completely different
type of role when you do iteffectively.

Speaker 1 (50:25):
Yeah, exactly.
Well, that goes to themasculine nature of being on
mission, and that is somethingthat is lacking sorely in our
society, because that's not beensomething that I feel and this
was my case as well Not not beenconveyed to me as a young man,
is that you need to be onmission, you need to have a, a
goal and and look, that's notnecessarily.

(50:47):
Look, that's different, that'sdifferent for different guys.
We're not saying that you gotto be Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk or
trying to to to do that.
Your mission could be yourfamily, like that was mine for a
very, very long time.
Do that.
Your mission could be yourfamily, like that was mine for a
very, very long time.
And it's still to the largestrespect is because my children
are still dependent, right, butyou got to be on mission for

(51:08):
something that could be, andmaybe it's not your job, maybe
it is your family, maybe it issomething that you do in your
off time.
Maybe it's a sport that youplay Like, it can be something.
But when you're passionateabout something and maybe it's a
sport that you play, like itcan be something.
But when you're passionate aboutsomething and you can convey or
you display that confess that,that, that that passion to
somebody that is sexy as hell,for for women, they're like, wow

(51:31):
, this man is really passionateabout something.
He's going to be passionatewith me.
And then when you bring, let meI'll just finish, I'll wrap it
up.
I, I know we, we get both.
We both get really excitedabout when we, when we talk
about this stuff, because, youknow, when you experience it,
it's so exciting and it's so funwith, with the feminine
presence around.
But then they start, they startthey start relating to that and

(51:55):
then they know when you're withthem and then they have your
undivided attention.
You're going to be passionatewith them and man does that turn
them.

Speaker 2 (52:05):
Yes, absolutely.
It turns them on and it's andyou're bringing to it a new
curiosity, new discoveries, andbasically you're bringing
novelty because you went out onmission and broke through new
barriers.
You're bringing noveltiesties,new treasures that were on the
other sides of those barriers.
When you bring it to them, theyare so excited and because

(52:26):
there is something new, a newfacet of you and life that they
get to experience without havingto go out and do it themselves.
That's part of the treasure youbring back.
And just to bring it full circle, dogs aren't doing this, dogs
are not on mission.
Well, some dogs I guess they'rehunting dogs or herding dogs or
whatever and it's interestingand we actually, among the six

(52:46):
dogs I grew up with, one was anAustralian herding dog, a
Queensland blue heeler.
That dog was always on missionand there were no cattle around.
It tried to actually herdgrandma by like nipping at her
heels.
It's kind of cute, but not cuteat all.
So that dog was like chasingthe ball, was like their mission
.
Women, you know, don't actuallywant that from the dog.

(53:07):
They don't want this dog that'son mission and needs to like
chase the ball all day, everyday in the park.
It's kind of exhausting forthem.
They love a man, however, thatis on mission and goes out and
brings it back.
And again, I just want to speakto the guys that get frustrated.
Or I want to speak to thefrustration in men that they
have when they meet a womanthat's in a deep relationship

(53:28):
with a dog, that's a mom dog,realize that that animal is
doing what it does by nature,and our nature as men extends
well beyond what that animal iscapable of.
And when we step into our fulleffectiveness of masculinity,
that dog's got its place.

(53:48):
Everybody can be there,everybody can be happy.
There's no need to befrustrated and angry about the
situation.
When you step in effectively tothe situation, a lot I mean a
woman is like oh, geez, yeah,you know what?
I don't want this dog in thisbed anymore either, because I've
got this man in this bed.
Well, give her like a two, youknow a walking upright beast of

(54:11):
a man that she doesn't want toshare the bed with a dog anymore
.
Most guys aren't bringing thatmuch to the table, though?

Speaker 1 (54:17):
Yeah, exactly which.
Then, if we're going to thatmuch to the table, though?
Yeah, exactly which?
Then, if we're going to take itto the next level, is that that
provider, protector, energy,right, that that a dog seemingly
might, might, give them in insome regards to, like you?
You mentioned fetching the ball.
Okay, right, like, so that's a.

Speaker 2 (54:36):
That's a basic way in which they do it well, and the
dog, you know, as a protector,that dog will bark at somebody
at the door, you know.
But that dog also will run outthat door and chase someone down
the street and you know it'skind of a dumb protector.
You don't have an intelligent,you know man there who can
really, you know, deal man therewho can really, you know, deal

(54:58):
with complex environments andreally protect them.
That dog knows how to bark andbite and chase.
That's it.
Men who are self-developed knowhow to protect and provide in
way more complex ways.
But we have to demonstrate thatin our presence.
Again to your point, this isn'ta knight in shining armor.

(55:18):
We're not trying to come in andexplain all the ways that you
can do it.
This is stuff that you bringinside of you.
It's part of your energy andshe just feels it when you're
there.
And part of the fact that youknow that you have it inside is
that you're not intimidated bythe dog.
You're not in competition withhim.
If you feel threatened by herrelationship with the dog, you

(55:39):
know you're not in competitionwith him.
You know.
If you feel threatened by herrelationship with the dog, hello
, you have not reached uppermasculinity as a man it's a
little bit of a litmus test foryou if you're getting triggered
by the dog, yeah yeah, it's a,so it's a, it's a, it's a
balance, right.

Speaker 1 (55:56):
Like Like you see these profiles that you
mentioned, my dog's my bestfriend, or dog's my kid I love,
or you're going to have to, mydog's going to have to, like you
.
But then also when you meet thedog, it's like okay, hi, nice
dog.
Like okay, you're not.
And I've seen that, right, andI've seen that with guys and

(56:18):
kids too.
Like they're competing with thewoman's.
Like you are totally like, juststop, you're not ready to be in
a relationship yet.
If you've that insecure aroundwhat's your masculinity and
again, this is understandingyourself so you can look at this
.
You can say, hey, I'm just notcomfortable with the dynamic

(56:40):
that she has.
You can understand the dynamic.
You don't have to be.
And that's the sign of aconfident man that knows his
masculinity and where he standsand whether or not that woman is
going to be a good fit for youin that relationship.
It doesn't mean that you've gotto prove yourself either.
Let's make that point too.

(57:00):
Like you got to prove yourselfover the dog or the kids or
anything else.
You shouldn't have to do that.
So that's also something payattention to.
Like that's not where you'regoing with this.
You show up, you have theconfidence, you know who you are
, you're making your invitations, you're communicating
effectively.
And then, if you're making yourinvitations, you're
communicating effectively.
And then if you're getting thepositive response right, you're

(57:20):
always gauging.
If you're getting the positiveresponse, that means that that's
good, you're doing somethingright.
But it also means that she'shealthy and she's able to react
to that in her feminine as well.
If you're not, then okay, maybethere needs to be a course
correct, maybe there needs to besome communications.
But if there has beencommunications and it's still
not happening, then you mighthave your answer if this is

(57:42):
going to be good or not good.

Speaker 2 (57:44):
Absolutely Dude.
How does an hour go by, thisfast man?

Speaker 1 (57:48):
I know Jesus, we could talk like for I know we
could talk for like another twohours, which is the beautiful
thing about the longevity ofthis podcast thing about the
longevity of this podcast thatyou know everybody who's
listening can tune in again nextweek and get some more pearls
and listen to us.

Speaker 2 (58:04):
Just geek out like we do and, by the way, by the way,
wherever it is that you'relistening to this podcast, if
you have not liked andsubscribed, please do that.
It really helps boost theratings, it helps gets the.
It helps us get the exposurethat that this content deserves.
Please like and subscribe.

Speaker 1 (58:20):
Yeah, do If you've found some value and share it.
Sharing is the best form ofsome sort of referral because
that means you found value in it.
And if you send it to anotherguy and say, hey, you need to
listen to this kind of funny,ridiculous episodes about dogs
with these two knuckleheads thatare correlating it to

(58:44):
relational dynamics and thepsychology of dating, that's
going to be a huge, hugeopportunity for somebody else to
come into the fold.
And if you are like Jude and youhave drawn the line in the sand
and says no way, no, how, neverin my life will there be a dog
in this bed.
Send Jude an email.

Speaker 2 (59:05):
Flood that inbox and make him feel the love and the
support and make him know thathe's not alone in his extreme
decisions of never having a dogin the bed.
I actually I would say it's not100%, but I would say I have a
good dog.
I actually, I would say I'm not.

Speaker 1 (59:20):
It's not a hundred percent, but I would say I have
a strong, strong preference forno dogs in the bed, oh dude.
Or like we haven't even talkedabout cats, like that wouldn't
blow my fricking mind.
Like yeah, that's the, that'san, that's a whole, that's a
whole whole, nother one.
So, all right, well, that's a,that's all the time we've got.
This was, this was.

Speaker 2 (59:42):
Dallas.
As always, my friend, how didthe dads listening connect with
you?
You can find me atblackboxdatingcom.
You can find the coachingprogram, all the details we do
Wednesday night office hours.
Monday night mastery series.
There's a community of men.
If you're looking for wingmenin the area, that's a great way
to connect with them.
Yeah, blackboxdatingcom.
And Jude, please tell everybodywhat you do and how they can
get more of it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:02):
Yeah, we got to talk about the wingman stuff one
episode too, because that's afun one.
Maybe we need to do some man onthe street wingman stuff too.
That'd be a little bit.
That'd be fun to throw in theretoo.
But yeah, fellas, check outthedivorcedadvocatecom.
We just had last night a greatsession on navigating narcissism
.
So we've got all kinds ofworkshops and opportunities for

(01:00:25):
you to tune in, whether it'sco-parenting, dealing with exes
or talking about some funpersonality disorders that you
might run into once in a while.
So check that out atthedivorcedadvocatecom might run
into once in a while.
So check that out atthedivorcedadvocatecom.
And please send us an email ifyou've got an experience about a

(01:00:48):
dog or a relationship with adog, your own relationship with
the dog or a relationship with awoman with a dog or just a fun
experience around that.
The email for our podcast isdadsdatingafterdivorce at
gmailcom, and I want to hear.
We put it out there for thefirst date image last week.
I want to hear, I want to hearsome of these stories.

(01:01:08):
We'll start sharing some ofthem.

Speaker 2 (01:01:10):
We also want to hear what you guys want to hear about
.
If there is a particular topic,if there's a particular
question, if there's aparticular pain point that
you're dealing with particulartopic, if there's a particular
question, if there's aparticular pain point that
you're dealing with and youdon't think that you've found
adequate material and answersaround it, please send in the
email dadsdatingafterdivorce atgmailcom and we'll be happy to
do an episode, maybe even giveyou a shout out when we start

(01:01:33):
the episode.

Speaker 1 (01:01:35):
Absolutely All right, Dallas until next week.
Until next week, dude, Takecare Bye.