26 - Single Mom Tests: Scheduling, the Ex, and Other Relationship Killers

The Brady Bunch made blending look easy; real life demands better tools. We dive straight into the third rail of post-divorce dating: should single dads date single moms, and how do you do it without drowning in scheduling chaos, ex drama, and mismatched parenting styles?

We start with time, because chemistry means little if you can’t meet. You’ll hear simple scripts to express desire as a positive invitation—not a demand—and how to read the difference between “I want to” and “I will.” We unpack why calendars are romantic for busy parents, how to spot patterns when availability never improves, and when to choose recreational dating over a strained “serious” track. If you’ve ever wondered how many tries to give a faltering plan, we lay out a clear, humane filter.

Then we confront the ex factor. The issue isn’t his presence; it’s her boundaries. Learn how to show up with grounded masculine support without slipping into white-knighting. We share language that inspires change by modeling strength in your own life, so you can celebrate her wins rather than carry her load. You’ll also get a practical way to distinguish solvable friction from chronic chaos that will consume your time and energy.

Finally, we tackle the silent dealbreaker: parenting style. Forget abstract debates. Use concrete scenarios to invite real answers and test for a two-way street of curiosity and respect. We discuss why mutual interest in each other’s parenting approach predicts a healthier blend than raw attraction ever could—and how to know when to introduce kids based on responsiveness, not fantasy. Throughout, we return to one essential question: are you turned on by her responsiveness to your leadership, or only by her appeal?

If you’re a single dad building a life you love, this conversation gives you the playbook to protect your bandwidth, date with intention, and choose partners who meet you in the middle. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick rating and comment to help more dads find the show.

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:39):
Hello and welcome to Dad's Dating After Divorce.
If you're listening to this, youhave probably traversed lawyers
and survived, hopefully,survived the asset split, and
maybe are now trying to figureout your Saturday nights.
And that is what we are here tohelp you with.
My name is Jude Sandoval.

(00:59):
I am the founder of The DivorcedDadvocate.
And my co-host is Dallas Bluth,the founder of Black Box Dating.
How are you doing, Dallas?
Doing great, Jude.

SPEAKER_01 (01:10):
Happy to be in December and wrapping up the
year strong.

SPEAKER_00 (01:13):
Yeah, man.
It is it is the time of year.
For me, it's the most exciting,fun time of the year.
It's also cuffing season, right?
So I think there's a lot ofactivity out there.
Do you notice that with do youbelieve in that whole cuffing
season thing?
Like the I actually don't knowwhat what this term is.

(01:34):
Cuffing?
No.
So the cuffing season is whenyou like link up with somebody
through the doldrums of winter.
And and like it's it happens inlate fall, like late fall,
beginning of winter, so that youkind of have somebody.
So they call it cuffing season.
And it seems to be, at least inmy estimation, I've noticed I

(01:55):
noticed a lot more activity kindof in the dating scene, dating
app stuff during this this timeof year.
So I I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 (02:02):
Yeah, there is definitely phenomena.
There's the summer fling season,and then there is the I don't
want to be alone for theholidays phenomenon that comes
in.
I've just never heard the termcuffing.
Yeah, it's it's definitelythere, and people do kind of
hunker down for the winter, wantto have somebody to stay, stay,
stay warm with.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (02:19):
Okay.
Well, with that that we totallydigressed from what we're gonna
talk about.
But so I have affectionatelynamed this, maybe affectionately
or not so affectionately.
I don't know, depending, Iguess, from your from your lens
that you're gonna be looking atthis today.
This pot this episode calledSmashing the Brady Bunch

(02:39):
Fantasy.
And what we're gonna get into,all right, is the third rail of
conversations, which I I alwaysappreciate about you because and
and about us in general and thisand on this podcast, right?
We're not afraid to get into getinto the difficult topics and
talk about some stuff because itthis is stuff that's really

(03:02):
important.
And this is stuff likeoftentimes it's stuff that I
think of like, oh man, I wishsomebody had told me this when I
first started dating afterdivorce, right?
And so so smashing the BradyBunch fantasy is whether or not
you should date a single mom asa single dad, as a divorced
single dad, right?
And this is man, like this isthe third rail.

(03:24):
The the conventional societalthing is oh, yeah, date a single
mom, right?
She gets it, she understands theschedule, she understands kids,
right?
So that's kind of what we wehear all the time.
Single single moms are supersuper, it's my superpower, like
all this kind of stuff that'slike shot out there, which let's

(03:46):
just dispel that first off.
I'm gonna say it is being asingle parent is not a freaking
superpower, right?
Okay, so and and I know all thedads listening to this are
going, amen, brother, right?
Like, come on, dude.
This whole single parentsuperpower, single mom is bull
crap, right?
So it's it's very challenging,but that's that's also why we're

(04:07):
talking today about this,because on paper, yeah, maybe
this makes it sounds good,right?
But we're gonna throw out thepolitically correct handbook and
we're gonna dive into somespecific stuff because in
reality, there's a lot more thatthat goes into this when you're
dating um a single a single mom.
And so just you know, right offthe bat, give me your first

(04:27):
reaction to like if you see on adating profile, quote unquote,
my kids are my world, right?
Like that one makes me crazy.
I'm like, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 (04:38):
Well, okay, so that one, yeah.
Um when I see that on a datingapp, first of all, if I see that
the woman is a single mom, thethe first question that pops up
into my mind is how whatpercentage of the time does she
have her kids?
Because that's really whatdecides it.
A mom that has her kids 100% ofthe time, you know, a lot of
times they don't have a lot ofextra income to pay for

(05:00):
babysitters.
And you know, so where is thattime for us to meet as adults
and you know, create create thatcontainer, you know, that space,
that that that that little, thattiny little window for the two
of us to get to know each otheras adults.
Um, so that's the first thing Ilook for on the on the dating
profile.
Now, when a woman says, My kidsare my world, I'm thinking,

(05:20):
good.
I'm I'm I'm I'm glad you thinkthat, because as a parent,
obviously, they have to comefirst, you know, along with
yourself, they come first.
I I expect anytime I'm you knowgoing on a date with a single
mom, I expect the kids to be thefirst priority.
I mean, for me, it it it'sobvious, but a lot of times, I
it's sad to say, but I've metmoms that well, in my opinion,

(05:44):
they don't really behave thatway.
They're I I feel like, oh, mykid's fine, you know, but then
they they show up and I'm like,I think you should be home with
your kid right now.
Like, I think you're hanging outwith me a little too much and
not enough with them.
I mean, it's my own personalpoint of view.

SPEAKER_00 (05:58):
A red flag, right?
Yeah, no, that's definitely ifyou're abdicating your
responsibility.
I would say abdicating theresponsibility to to to your
children if there's somethingthat's serious or something that
you should be attending to,right?
Is a huge red flag.
Yeah.
So no, so wait, let me let meask you a quick question.
I wanted to def I wanted you todefine something, though, is is

(06:19):
priority.
What does that mean when yourkids are a quote unquote
priority?
Because in a relationship, theway that I look at things,
particularly in a romanticrelationship that's going to
lead to marriage or a marriage,the relationship itself needs to
be the priority.
And then from that, everythingcascades.

(06:42):
And if that is healthy, and ifthat is a is is in a healthy
dynamic with the the masculineand the feminine and the and and
the dad and the mom or stepdador step like then and and those
dynamics are healthy and they'rebeing executed in a in a proper
manner.
That has to be the priority,like the relationship.

(07:03):
We got to make time for that.
So so how so when you say, well,your children are your priority,
or her children are herpriority, what do you mean when
you say that?

SPEAKER_01 (07:12):
Dude, that is that is such a good point.
I'm really, really glad you saidthat.
The the relationship when you'rewhen you're in a partnership
does need to come first, becausethat the children rely on the
healthy bond in thatrelationship.
Yes.
The problem is when I'm justmeeting a woman and we're going
on a first date or just thatvibe check coffee to see whether
or not we're a good fit, wedon't have a relationship.

(07:36):
That that isn't in place yet.
So, and for me, that thatrelationship where where I'm
looking at I'm an integral partof her life and and the you
know, and the children'swell-being and stability, you
know, leans on a relationshipthat I have with her, I see that
as fairly far down the line.

(07:57):
You know, I'd say that's that'sat least five, six months at the
very soonest, I would say.
I don't know for myself.
So so in the beginning, uh whenI'm meeting a woman on a dating
app, heck yes, the childrenshould be a higher priority than
her getting to know me as a man.
At a certain point, when wedecide to get more seriously

(08:17):
involved, and I'm in I'm I'minvolved in those kids' life and
we're going into a shared familysituation, whether I'm bringing
kids to the, you know, into thatmix or not, okay, that's a shift
in in that dynamic.
That's a shift in the priorityof the relationship.
But that's like that's likepopping the clutch, you know, on
a on a car that you're trying tojumpstart.

(08:38):
You know, there's a beforemoment and there's an after
moment where there's a motorrunning.

SPEAKER_00 (08:43):
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So so one of the things thatI've found the most challenging
in in my life in in dating afterdivorce is that it seems that
the so the schedule, scheduleone was the first one on my
list.
So way to go.
Like you you you nailed it rightoff the right off the as usual,
right right off the bat.
The schedule thing, especiallywhen you're first meeting, and

(09:05):
like you said, in the beginning,you're vibe-checking, you're
dating, you're kind of seeing,is this somebody that I'd like
to spend more time with, all thestuff we've talked about before,
right?
But one of the things I find isthat that most single moms have
not really thought about howthey're going to date, which,
which, which number one is theschedule.

(09:26):
Like, how do you plan oncultivating a relationship
that's potentially going to be along-term relationship?
Like they they get on the appsor they they're like, Yeah, I'm
gonna I'm gonna start datingagain.
And then, and then it's and andthen you start with the
questions like, you know, what'syour parenting time schedule?
And and like you said, well, Ihave my kids full time.
Well, how in the like Iappreciate that, and that's

(09:48):
difficult and challenging,right?
And and I've been there myself,right?
Where I've had my daughters fulltime, and and it is like what
and they haven't thought throughit.
They're like, like maybe thesecond Thursday of every month
that ends in Y or whatever, likeand it's like, well, you can't
cultivate a relationship thatthat that way.
So let's let's talk a little bitabout that.

SPEAKER_01 (10:10):
Yeah, the the availability in the schedule is
the number one challenge when itcomes to dating single moms.
I have a few clients that thatthat is their their problem that
they that they express mostoften is a lot of the women that
they meet are single moms,largely I think because of the
age range.
And when they're when they theycan't get enough time with that

(10:32):
woman to be able to feelsatisfied and to have the
connection.
And I know I've had this, I'vehad to walk away from some
really fine women because thereisn't the availability to spend
that much time together.
And also, to your point, when Iwhen I express the interest and
I asked them how can we do this,their answer is I don't know.

(10:55):
And but but I'm on the outside,I don't I don't feel right
reaching in and trying torearrange you know the
parenting, you know, setup andand and what their schedule is.
I I don't feel I have a right todo that.
I feel that she has to tell me,you know, what works and what
doesn't so that I can extendproper invitations.

SPEAKER_00 (11:14):
Um yeah, so on that, but extending the proper
invitations, how would that workin kind of this situ in this
situation, right?
Because we want to be proactive,we want to take the lead, we
want to set the tone.
We're trying to invite them likeyou like you always talk about,
invite them into a grandadventure or romantic, like warm

(11:35):
interest, like all the stuffthat that that you profess and
and talk about.
And how do you do that with aschedule that they have an ex,
which is the next one we'regonna talk about, right?
Like the the the baby daddy,right?
That that that is the the thethe kind of you know elephant in
in in the room, if if if youwill.
How what does that look like?

(11:57):
Is it okay to to to say ifyou've gone on some dates and uh
you kind of like them, but thescheduling's been difficult to
to to really ask, like what doesthis look like for for you, or
do you like push to like let'sdo this?
And and I'm asking because I'vedone it both ways, right?

(12:17):
Like I've I've been assertivewith let's let's you know like
schedule this, let's plan it,let's do I want I would like to
see us spending time togetherthree to at least three times a
week.
How do we do and and it's veryunromantic, right?
Because you've you've got thewhole schedule, but you know,
it's like a Venn diagram thatyou got to put together with

(12:37):
schedules sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 (12:38):
Well, I mean, even even when you're in a married
household, you sometimes have toschedule date night and you
know, times that you're gonnahave sex, like you have to
almost put it on the calendar,even when you're in that
relationship.
Spon spontaneity doesn't workeven when you're living
together.

SPEAKER_00 (12:52):
Yeah.
So so is it so?
I guess my question is, is itokay to start to do that?
To like start leading with, ohyeah, hey, I'd like like
inviting them to spend threedays, like I'd like to us to
find maybe it's lunches, maybeit's coffees, maybe it's
whatever, wherever you can fitin in your schedule.
And then if it is okay, like atwhat point do you start at like

(13:16):
what do you do you start talkingabout that?

SPEAKER_01 (13:19):
Yeah, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna again, I I kind of
like to avoid the let's have aconversation conversations.
I I don't feel that they're veryromantic.
I don't feel that they theycreate a lot of attraction.
I I feel like a lot of the thethe polarity of masculine and
feminine really falls flat atthat point because we're both
stepping into the middle in aneutral place.

(13:40):
I would say the place to startis by uh okay, so let's say it's
early on in dating, you've beenon, you know, three or four
dates, six dates.
It's you know, you clearly youguys have have chemistry for
each other, clearly you haveinterest, she seems to be
responsive and has interest onher end.
I would say the place to startthere is to be vulnerable and
say, hey, I would like to seeyou.

(14:01):
You know, I I'd really I'd Iwant to see you more.
You know, I'm really in well,start with things like I really
enjoy your company, I reallylove the time that we spend
together.
You know, I'm I'm interested inin the two of us just dating
each other if that hasn'talready been established.
Uh and once, once you're inthere, tell her, you know, it's
like I'd I'd you put a positivespin on it, you know, like I'd

(14:25):
I'd love to see you, you know,twice a week.
And it's a desire, it's anexpression of something
positive.
It's if you frame it as, youknow, well, we need to at least
see each other twice a week,that's setting it up like it's
rules or like it's proper orit's expected, or if we're not,
then we're not in arelationship.
That's that's gonna that's gonnafeel like a burden.
That's gonna feel like you'rehanging on her like one more

(14:47):
chore and task that she has toyou know fit into the schedule.
Where if you're like, well, Ican't wait to see you, and I'd
love to see you at least twice aweek.
I mean, ideally, I'd love to beseeing you three times a week.
And and then you ask her, whatcan we do to make that happen?
And well, I I would say evenbefore you say that, ask her,
you know, how does that feel toher?

(15:07):
She might be quite tired anddoesn't have the energy to see
her man, you know, in whatevercapacity that means.
You know, she might not have theenergy to get together three
times a week.
And she's like, I'm tired.
You know, I've got the kids, youknow, 50% of the week.
I need some time with mygirlfriends to to, you know, all
I got I got two nights a week,you know, that I can that I can

(15:29):
get together with you in thisinterim step before the two of
you are, you know, cohabitating,co-parenting, and and all of
that.

SPEAKER_00 (15:37):
Well, and that's when you decide if you want it
to be recreational, like it canbe recreational dating, then you
don't have to take it to anexclusive long-term relationship
if if you don't want to, ifthat's if depending on what you
want, right?
Like know what you want and whatyour needs are.
And then if that's the thesituation, then you you know
that.

SPEAKER_01 (15:58):
Yeah, and when you share your needs and your
desires, you want to expressthem as desires.
This is a positive thing.
Women like to be desired.
If you're expressing them as adesire for her, you like
spending time with her, that'sgood.
If you're saying these are myneeds and you need to meet them,
you just became anotherdependent, you just became
another child, and that's gonnaturn the woman off really,

(16:20):
really fast.
And it's it's a very subtleshift in the language to go from
expressing a desire, but I'mstill responsible and owning
them, versus I'm now settingthis on you.
And if we're gonna be datingeach other, that means that you
need to, you know, X, Y, and Z.
That is not gonna land well inthe uh in the energy.

SPEAKER_00 (16:40):
Right.
And then and then you leave itup to her to decide and to show
up with whether or not she'sgoing to do that or not.

SPEAKER_01 (16:49):
Even before that, I wouldn't I would express my
desire and then I would wait andhopefully hear and and start
with what is your desire?
You know, how many times wouldyou like to be seeing me, you
know, every week?
And if she's like, gosh, thatsounds great.
I'd love to see you three timesa week.
I just don't know if I can makeit happen.
Okay, let's let's firstcelebrate the fact that we have

(17:12):
compatible desire.
You know, that's building reallypositive foundation right there.
Before we get into the logisticsand the ex-husbands and all the
other stuff, before we like haveto deal with the obstacles,
let's celebrate the fact that weactually are compatible and that
we both want each other.
And I would say, in the midst ofthe conversation, come back to

(17:34):
that.
Come back to the fact that youguys are trying to make
something positive happen, notyeah, yeah, keep it, keep it,
you know, invite, invite her toto share the desire and then
move into the logistical, thelogistics of the conversation.

SPEAKER_00 (17:49):
Right now, what do you do though when the actions
don't align with oh yes, I wantthat too.
But like I said earlier, haven'tthought through it, haven't you
know how executing sayingsomething and executing
something, two different things.
And I've run into this a ton oftimes.
Yeah, yeah, like I love the timebecause I create great dates and

(18:13):
fun, like all that, but there'sno there's no reciprocation
simply in figuring out yourtheir life in order to
accommodate being able to spendthat time together.
And then at some point, how manyconversations do you have or how
many invitations do you make,Dallas, before you're like,

(18:33):
okay, this is obviously nothappening?

SPEAKER_01 (18:36):
Right.
Do you feel that she is meetingyou in the middle with making it
happen?
That that's the bottom linething, the bottom line question
that you ask.
And you have to listen to yourown heart.
So if if it if it's a if you theboth of you have a shared desire
and you're like, great, I wouldlove to do this.
You know, I'm I'm available,generally speaking, these times,

(18:57):
I'm available in this way, I'mavailable to do these sorts of
things.
You know, how does that workwith you?
How does that line up with yourwith your availability?
And if she's like, well, I don'treally know because my
ex-husband just kind of likecalls whenever and shows up or
something.
And okay, there we're to I Idon't think that's a scheduling
problem.
I think that's a boundaryproblem.

(19:19):
She has she has set up a dynamicwith her ex in which that ex
does not have to respect herschedule.
Yeah, um, there's no way aroundhaving to schedule.
When you got kids, you got uh,you know, exes, there's no way
around getting things on thecalendar and having to plan them
a week or two or even more inadvance.
Um, and there's nothingunromantic about that.

(19:41):
Um, let me let me just dive intothis element that that is great.
Women love anticipation.
When when a woman knows thatyou're going to take her to, I
don't know, some, you know, outof town for the weekend, and she
gets to think about it for threeor four weeks in advance, she's
not just experiencing the datewhile she's there.
She's dreaming about it, she'sthinking about it, she's talking

(20:02):
about her friends, she's talkingabout it with her friends, she's
talking about it with hermother, she's talking about it
with her kids.
Oh, mom, you know, are youexcited to go on the trip with
Dallas?
And you know, she all of thesethings that are happening in her
imagination, this is herexperiencing the date before
it's even happened.
So setting things on thecalendar and having them planned

(20:23):
out, that's that's just tons ofgood things for her to look
forward to.
You know, I mean, we all, youknow, if if if we're going on a
on a vacation to Europe, youknow, in in July and we book the
tickets in February, we get toenjoy.
that looking forward to thatEuropean vacation for the next
five months.
Right, right.
Well I'm shy away from theschedule.

SPEAKER_00 (20:45):
Yeah, and I and I'm I'm really just focused on like
can we have dinner?
Right?
Like maybe not even getting tothe not even getting to the
point.
But there's still anticipationin going to on a date and having
dinner and getting dressed upand like all that stuff too.
So so I yeah I agree with that.
I'm going to be a little moredefinitive on this Dallas.
I'm going to say twice.

(21:07):
Like like if you you ex you makethat invitation out there,
express needs, everything thatyou just described, what does
that look like for for you?
What are your needs?
And then you don't kind of get areaction then the invitation or
the conversation again a secondtime if it doesn't happen after
that you just know it's notgoing to it's it's just not
going to happen.

(21:27):
She either is clueless and andshe's not paying attention and
dialed in to what's the what awhat a relationship is how you
need to function in arelationship what your needs are
what you've expressed or a lackof community there's just
there's something missing thereif after a couple of these
conversations and and I hatecalling them conversations now

(21:48):
you've got me trained you doyou're you're you're training me
right like after a couple ofthese invites and and and and
really trying to to to figurethis out after a couple of times
I really think that you can justsay hey this isn't working.

SPEAKER_01 (22:02):
Yeah I I think I I hesitate to put out really
strict rules like like that liketwo times but I think what we
have to look for is we have tolook for the pattern of
behavior.
And once we can see that thepattern of behavior is indeed a
pattern this you you extend aninvitation and then her response
is too passive meaning thatshe's not doing the thing she

(22:24):
needs to do to make the datehappen.
Yeah yeah that's that that she'snot being responsive enough for
to to pull it all together.
And I think after yeah youprobably after you extend two or
three invitations like that andand there's nothing changing.
It's not that she has tonecessarily make everything
happen, you know, that the excould still you know pull a pull

(22:45):
a fast one at the last minutebut the question is is this
pattern changing towardssomething that can work so for
me it's a pattern.
If if if if the if the woman isclearly very passive or the
woman doesn't have boundarieswith her ex or the woman you
know doesn't or doesn't want toor can't commit to getting

(23:06):
together if if it if if thepattern is there, I'm going to
invite her into a differentpattern, you know, the one that
Dallas likes to live by and I'mgoing to again try to paint it
very attractively well you knowwell let's put something on the
calendar you know and make itclear to your to your ex that
like you're you he cannot dropthe kids off you know

(23:28):
willy-nilly you know that that'sjust not going to happen.
You know I'm inviting her intomy pattern of living and I'm
going to see whether or not shetakes the invitation whether or
not she likes the sound of thatbetter.
But again I'm inviting her I'mnot saying hey you need to be
more responsible or hey you needto set better boundaries none of

(23:51):
that's going to land well with awoman but if I if I'm inviting
her into a life that she's likewell actually that sounds really
good and it's like yeah whydon't we take some steps towards
that as long as that pattern isbeing is being shifted and
changing over time I'll keepplaying ball.

SPEAKER_00 (24:07):
Yeah well and I would say guys listening I and
it to wrap up this this finalpoint just pay attention to this
one up front off the bat it'sgoing to be an early indicator
as to where she's at and herwhere she's at and her abilities
to be able to to to date if ifit's you're looking if if you're

(24:29):
looking for something long termthis is going to be like the
first thing you can look at andsay okay this is probably if you
want it if you want a long termrelationship if you just want it
recreationally you see eachother once in a while whatever
and that's what you want thenthat perfect that might be that
might be great which is at thispoint Dallas honestly what I've
found with with single moms isprobably the the the the the

(24:51):
best best scenarios with themajority okay and and that's
again I'm we're talking ingeneralities right but but let's
also let's now talk about someof the other things you you said
a couple of things that arereally important we we started
to hit on let's just get out ofthe way that the baby daddy
thing and like how much patiencedo you have for another like the

(25:13):
other guy's drama and I thinkyou hit on it a little bit like
another guy's drama is anotherguy's drama but how she handles
it and how she's structured herlife and her abilities again
this comes back to her abilitiesand and how she handles it are
really what you need to belooking for, right?

SPEAKER_01 (25:31):
Yeah what are her ability to set boundaries how
clearly they've been set and youknow and does that create a
functional situation or is heris her tent half like kind of
collapsed because he keeps youknow coming and knocking over
one of the poles the okay whenit comes to the other guy the ex

(25:52):
he's I mean there are situationsin which you know the
co-parenting is very peacefuland it works well and they just
weren't meant to be married.
That I think is often theexception.
Usually the ex I think is moreof a a source of stress and
exhaustion that is anopportunity for me as a man to
be a completely different kindof man in her life.

(26:12):
One if I'm the guy that she whenshe's tired and but she can come
to it and she can let some ofthat out and I'm like it's okay
to talk about it.
I mean we're all adults here andto to let her let that out and
for me to listen and to and toto show that I care and to you
know not just try to fix theproblems the way her ex might
have I mean that that's that'semotional leverage for her to

(26:37):
get very attracted to me and andfor her to enjoy being in my
company.
I mean I I see the ex in a lotof ways as great.
I've got somebody right therereminding her all the time how
crappy men can be and that justmakes me look better when I show
up well in the situation.

SPEAKER_00 (26:58):
But we got to be careful of one thing and that's
white knighting.
Yes yes right okay becausethat's different and so describe
the difference between whatyou're what you're describing
which is maybe showing up inyour masculine in a healthy
relationship and and actuallythat was like the the last one
on my list here.
So let's jump to it since youwhat since you brought it up
because you know you can call itknighting rescuing whatever

(27:20):
whatever you want to call it butdescribe that and what you
should not be doing with that.

SPEAKER_01 (27:24):
Because I I've done that I've been there like and I
think lots of guys have donethat I have too I have too yeah
white knighting is when you arestepping over boundaries to help
with things that are not yours,that are not your
responsibility.
When I said earlier that if awoman has a certain pattern of
behavior, I'm inviting her tostep into a different pattern

(27:45):
which is the one that I Dallaslive my life by it's the same
thing.
I don't want to be coming overtrying to fix problems, put out
fires, you know, tell her how tobe talking with her ex and you
know running interference andbackfilling and you know that
that white knight is coming inand fixing all these problems
for her.

(28:05):
Right.
That's not the thing to do.
I have to let her be theindependent adult that she is
and solve these problems on herown.
The the the place that I can bea healthy influence and maintain
the boundary.
So I can be I can be a masculinewarrior but I'm not her white
knight coming in to fight all ofher battles for her is when

(28:28):
first of all listen let her letit all out.
And then you can you know if youonce she's done with all that
and everything's good it's likecan I can I tell you what I do
in my life in these situations?
And I'm talking about my life atthat point.

SPEAKER_00 (28:40):
You know you're almost a consultant yeah like
like like somebody that's so asounding board consultant that
somebody can can bring things toand and and talk through things
if necessary.

SPEAKER_01 (28:53):
Yes I I would I would say a motivational
consultant.
Okay.
Because I want when when I sharewith her let let let's take
something like finances you knowI'm pretty organized with my
money.
And when I meet you know men orwomen that are not that
organized for me to just tellthem well here's how you balance
your books here's how you do itthat doesn't do a whole lot but

(29:15):
when I tell them how well Isleep at night because I know
exactly where I am financially Itell them you know yeah I can I
can buy this thing here or I cantake us out there and because I
know exactly where I amfinancially and I'm you know and
all these things are in placeand I've done this with my
retirement investments and youknow and this is I know where I
am there what they're seeingisn't the technique they're

(29:38):
they're not seeing just how do Ifix the problem like a
consultant.
They're seeing what's it like tolive this kind of life.
This is the motivational sidethat's attractive.
When I'm you know when I'm youknow toe to toe you know with a
woman I and and she's strugglingin these areas and that's an
important thing to realize isthat a woman that that that has

(30:01):
some fires that need to be putout and an ex that's just like a
total problem, she's struggling.
For us to show up with a lot ofvery healthy masculine strength
that is completely available butwe're modeling what healthy
strength and and fortitude andstructure looks like we're

(30:21):
modeling it.
That's inspiring and it'sattractive.
And then she's like gosh I wouldlove to do that.
And it's like well would youlike to hear what I do in these
situations because I used to beI used to lack boundaries
because I used to be a mess withmy money because I used to you
know and you're relating towhere she's coming from that's
that's a way that you can showup as as a problem solver of

(30:43):
your own life as opposed to awhite knight going over the
going over the line and tryingto fix things that are not yours
to fix.

SPEAKER_00 (30:50):
Right.
And let's let's be clear thoughthat takes a lot of work Dallas
right it's already a lot of workyeah in being a single dad and
oh yeah taking care of the kidsgoing having a a a job or a
business and and making moneyand then like if she's got chaos

(31:11):
in her life with her ex I wouldsay you need to be very cautious
like the schedule things firstright and if you can't figure it
out and then the the ex iscausing lots of chaos or she
hasn't created boundaries.
So I have a very challenging ex.
And what I worked really hard todo is isolate her from the the

(31:36):
any of the relationships thatthat I had so that it wouldn't
be having it wouldn't have animpact.
And the other thing for and sofor me and and tell me what you
think of this for me it wasmaking her and is making her
feel like even though eventhough I've got all this stuff
going on business and kids andlike every everything that she

(32:00):
still is like the priority shestill feels like the priority
and and so not that I'mexpecting her to do that for me
but I would at least expect thatyou have that you have some sort
of some sort of grasp or orisolate ins you know just have
it figured out to where it's notdrastically impacting.

(32:22):
And that doesn't seem Dallas tohappen if you've got an ex or
you've been in a high conflictdivorce or you got an ex that's
got some issues or whatever.
It seems to find like you likeyou mentioned if it was an
amicable divorce and they'reamicable and they figure out the
the parenting time and stufflike that, that's usually the
the person that then can datehas already figured out these

(32:44):
boundaries they have healthyboundaries the other ones seem
like it's never going to happenno matter how how much you bring
your masculine in or yourexamples or role model and all
that it's just not going tomatter.

SPEAKER_01 (32:57):
So whether it whether it's going to happen or
not is up to that woman thatyou're you know dating.
And I I would say the best youcan do and this this is I mean
this is a general rule fordating the best you can do is
extend an attractive invitationand then how does she respond to
it?
And that gives you all theinformation like you said you
know it's feedback.

(33:18):
It gives you all the feedbackyou need to decide do I want to
keep extending invitations or doI want to let it go.

SPEAKER_00 (33:24):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (33:25):
And there were there was another piece that occurred
to me you know when you weretalking about working through on
your end as a single dad youprobably had to achieve some new
levels of boundaries andstrength and organization in
your life vis-a-vis your ex.
And and those probably felt likewins whenever you reach them and

(33:45):
you realized oh this is thething I need to do to protect
the relationships in my lifefrom my ex.
And when you when you reachthose it was kind of like
finding a power up tool in avideo game or something.
You know it was it was some kindof like wow you know I've I've
got this thing and you'rewinning at this dating game you
know as a single dad the way youweren't before I would approach

(34:07):
it similarly with a with a womanwhat we what we want to look for
is sh again invite her intosituations where that she is
enjoying more and that she'swinning more and then celebrate
those wins with her you know ifshe chooses to step into them
and if she chooses to setpatterns that are more enabling

(34:29):
for her and her childrencelebrate those with her.
The problem with the whiteknight is you want to win it for
her.
You want to step in and fightthe battle and you because you
want to be the winner and youwant credit for being for being
that hero.
The real hero here is I'm a heroin my own life and I'm inviting
a woman into an equal dynamicwith me.

(34:52):
A white knight isn't an equaldynamic yeah when but I'm
inviting her into an equaldynamic with me and I want more
than anything to celebrate herwins with her as she steps into
a better and better place in herlife.
I just I I you mentioned thewhite knight thing it is such a
tough thing for most guys.
I just want to point out onemore way okay to realize if

(35:12):
you're looking to win it for herthat's not very healthy.
But if you're looking to enableher to win it for herself then
you know you're maintaining thathealthy boundary.

SPEAKER_00 (35:23):
Well I think that is a great point to to put a ball
on this this part is if she ismaking the effort if she is
taking steps to actually do thatthen I think that's a positive
but I also want to be very clearto the to the dads listening
like don't waste too much timewith it.
Right like if it is if it isnonstop chaos guys if it is you

(35:47):
constantly having to do likeyou've got so much you know this
is where this is where I came upwith the smashing the Brady
Bunch fantasy right like it'syou know it's gonna it's not
gonna get it's not gonna getexponentially better faster and
you're going to be living in herchaos which takes me to the next

(36:08):
point which is like we talkedabout the priority ladder but
you also mentioned inviting intoyour life right part of our this
masculine dynamic in therelationship is you building
your life we've talked about onmany episodes of getting your
values your beliefs togetherthis is blending this is very

(36:29):
very different and difficultbecause of the axe right so
you've got an axe but alsoparenting style so this this one
this to me is like the silentrelationship killer is is the
the parenting styles because ifyou do finally if you do finally

(36:50):
get through that schedulingthing and you've got some time
where you're you're spendingregular time together and you're
maybe starting to deepen therelationship and then you that's
fine but then you get to thatwhatever six you probably really
even shouldn't introduce kids tomaybe a year.
I think lots of lots oftherapists and stuff say say a

(37:11):
year like six months at a veryminimum I I would say especially
if you both have kids rightbecause that becomes a giant
giant di dynamic but then youknow then you start to you start
spending more time with them ina different environment and
their environment and thedifferent ways in which dad's

(37:35):
parent from the ways that momsparent has become a is I have
experienced it being a hugeissue.
And this is a this is a societalissue I I I feel and a challenge
that we're we're running insocietally where fatherhood and
how how dad's parents in thebenefits of father's uh

(37:59):
parenting and their styles havebeen diminished and almost I
mean it's getting to the pointwhere they're just trying to
discredit it and take our youngboys and make them into little
girls.
And and so so this is a very bigone guys to to pay attention to
and you know here's the thingDallas that's really I find

(38:19):
really challenging about this uhand I've done it different ways
in dating I've introduced mygirls right away with somebody
and and I actually have had thatbe successful and and have
waited and have that be notsuccessful right is the only way
you you can really really get toknow and understand these these

(38:41):
dynamics and and and parentingstyles is if you introduce you
kids to each other or you youget introduced to their kids and
you introduce them to your kidsand really get into that that
dynamic now there's some ways inwhich you can gauge some of this
beforehand and and and you cantalk about this but so comment

(39:02):
on on that but comment it on onon what you talk about which is
like creating your life invitinginto your life like how in the
world do you invite somebodyinto a great like I've got a
great life like I've designedI'm very conscientious and
intentional about about my lifeand I meet somebody and it's

(39:24):
like it's not yeah I'll justleave it at that.

SPEAKER_01 (39:28):
Okay wow so much to talk about yeah so the first
thing I would say is the mistakethat we all tend to make is we
make assumptions.
I'm assuming that my parentingstyle whether we have kids or
not you know because I eventhough I don't have kids I was
raised a certain way I do havecertain beliefs around parenting
even though I don't have kids Istill have a parenting style uh
it's not based on actualexperience as a parent but I

(39:51):
sure I have it going in.
And the the the the worstmistake we can make is to assume
that my parenting style is thesame as theirs.
You know of course I believethat my parenting style is the
right one you know otherwise Iwouldn't have it.
But but imposing that ontosomebody else and assuming
they're coming from the sameplace that's that's what we've

(40:12):
said earlier about assumingeverybody's playing out of the
same playbook.
They're not people havedifferent pages on parenting
from different playbooks.

SPEAKER_00 (40:19):
So realizing I make one quick comment on that please
yeah men and dads parentdifferent from women and moms.
It's just by a lot by the waythat we have been created the
way that that that we've beendesigned to to come Together in
relationship and what weprovide.

(40:41):
And that so I think what yousaid is a key thing for us to
understand is dads, is ourparenting is different from a
mom's parenting.
And that is the number one thingthat from a respectful
standpoint, we need to bringinto a relationship with a mom.
That her parenting is going tobe very, very different.

(41:02):
But that also needs to bereciprocal.
She needs to understand that herway in which she's parenting is
not the only way or the quoteunquote right way.
And this is where we're gettinga problem societally, which is
moms know best, and you know,the the the the nurturing way of
kids is the way in which youparent, like that is completely,

(41:25):
completely off base.
And and that is the problem thatwe're we're sharing, that we're
experiencing here.
And if we would share more of,hey, this is I I understand,
like I recognize the fact that Ican't pay because I've tried
Dallas, and I only learned thisbecause I had to be dad and mom
for a good period of time inraising my children.

(41:47):
It was impossible.
I could not be both dad and momand do everything that a dad and
a mom does as one single person.
So that made me realize reallyquickly like there are some
amazing things that a woman anda mom bring to parenting kids
that I like I as hard as I try,I cannot do it.

(42:08):
Now, the problem and thechallenge again is when I talk
about this and I share this withlots of women these days, I'll
say, yeah, is you don't get theback like an understanding of,
oh, there's just these amazingthings that dads bring to
parenting.
And so that is something that weyou need to dads need to be

(42:30):
aware of.
And so how do we traverse that?

SPEAKER_01 (42:33):
Okay.
So I I I agree with you that Ithink dads and moms
instinctively parentdifferently.
We won't go into too much ofthose details.
No, but I don't know.
Yeah.
It's just a truth.
But I agree, yeah, I agree.
I definitely agree with that.
The way to have the discussion,okay, the way not to have the
discussion is at a summarylevel.

(42:54):
You know, dads are more this andmoms are more that, and moms
should be this and dad should bethat, or there is a difference,
or there's not.
Okay, this is all a summarylevel.
And the problem is, even if weagree, even okay, we're probably
not gonna come to an agreementwhen we're having a more or less
a debate about parenting styles.
Even if we did come to anagreement, what we mean in

(43:16):
action by by those words that wemean is probably gonna be
different anyway.
So the way you have it is I is Iwould bring up concrete
examples.
Nothing provides clarity likeconcrete examples.
So if I if I had two daughterslike you do, and I was dating a
woman, and I would be like, Sothis crazy thing happened this
weekend where, you know, youknow, the the the younger

(43:38):
daughter did this to the olderdaughter, and then this happened
and everything.
And I'm just curious, you know,what would you do in that
situation?

SPEAKER_00 (43:46):
Yes.

SPEAKER_01 (43:46):
So right there, I'm not talking about parenting
styles.
I'm not talking about how to doit.
I'm presenting for her beforeshe's met my kids, long before
she's met my kids.
But I'm thinking about it.
I'm like, so what would you doin that situation?
And and here I'm gonna use, youknow, one of those, you know,
overused terms.
I'm going to be curious, whereis she coming from as a mother?

(44:07):
And I would be like, can youhelp me understand?
Like, what are they getting?
What are they providing, youknow, in those situations?
Here's the reason I'm doingthis.
If I'm if I am presenting asituation and not how I think it
should be handled, and I'masking her how she's going to do
it, I'm getting a a very pure,unbiased view into her parenting

(44:29):
style.
And then when I'm curious and Iwant to understand, that's me
acknowledging point blank in themoment that moms parent
differently.
And as a dad, I don'tfundamentally understand and
that I want to understand andrespect it.

SPEAKER_00 (44:41):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (44:42):
Okay.
That is a nice that isbeautiful.
And that was what I wanted toget to.
Yeah.
Perfect.
Now let me take it one stepfurther.
Once I've done all of that, thenI'd say, well, you know, as a
dad in that situation, noticehow I'm completely framing it as
I'm coming from a differentplace.
Here's what I was gonna do, andthen you see how she reacts.

(45:03):
Does she meet your curiositywith her parenting style, with
curiosity on her end for yourparenting style as a dad?
Or did she tell you how sheparents and then she doesn't
want to hear how you parent?
And you can tell right there inthat conversation whether or not
she's open and balanced in inthe dynamic, or if she feels

(45:25):
that she has a monopoly on howthis is supposed to go.

unknown (45:31):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (45:31):
But again, if we try to have a theoretical or
abstract conversation aboutthis, that's almost never going
to work.
We have to give them a concretesituation.
Or, you know, in my case, Idon't have kids.
You know, if something happened,you know, with their kids, I
would be like, so so how did youhow did you handle that?
How did you do it and go aboutit?
And then I might say, you know,you know, since we're getting

(45:53):
kind of serious here, you know,and what you're talking about,
me beating your kids, can I tellyou what I think I might do in
that situation as the as the asthe male, you know, as as as the
male adult in that in thathousehold, you know, and then
I'll see whether or not shewants to hear what I have to
say, because that's gonna tellme how involved I'm actually
going to get, or if I'm justsome sort of like, you know,

(46:16):
hairy guest staying in the housefor years.
You know, it's it's and and butbut getting concrete about it
and then letting the otherperson share, that's the key to
getting around the assumptionsand around the again, around the
conversation that doesn't reallyreveal much.

SPEAKER_00 (46:33):
Yeah, and and I so that has also helped me to uh uh
particularly having threedaughters, has actually helped
me to learn more about being abetter father, about being a
daughter, because that's thatwhat you just described is
exactly what I wanted to get to,because the challenge for us

(46:55):
dads is that when you're gettingdown, you're down the line now,
maybe like six months, like thisis somebody that you you you
really like.
And and and like I said, thisthis has been and this seems to
be the silent relationshipkiller because it's not
something well, it's it's it'shard to talk about.
And so if you do it like youjust described, which is looking

(47:18):
for feedback, like trying to unin a in a curious way, curiosity
and trying to understand, it'sgoing to well, it's gonna do two
things.
One, it's gonna help youunderstand where where she's at
and if you agree with it, andthen see also like you described
if she's if she comes back toyou for feedback too,
eventually, and and does thatand asks you, that's a that's a

(47:40):
huge thing.
That's that's that guys, I willsay if if you start doing this
and then you start seeing thatshe starts coming to you and and
and confiding in you and beingvulnerable.
I mean, that's a big vulnerablething then.
And then you start talking andthen she starts asking you,
that's gonna take yourrelationship to to the next
level.
So this and then that might be atime where you can start

(48:01):
thinking about, I would say,introducing you each other to
your kids if that starts tohappen, because then that
demonstrates what you described,which is there's a mutual
curiosity, but also there's amutual respect for what it is
that you bring to therelationship, and she's
demonstrating to you that sherespects what your opinion is,

(48:22):
what you've done as a father,how you show up as a father and
as her as her lover, and as heras her man, etc.
And that's gonna that is goingto prove a lot to you.
If that doesn't happen, guys,then I would say pause and pause
just for a little bit.
I'm look, man, like my pauseshave gotten shorter and shorter

(48:46):
over the decade plus that I thatI've been dating, right?
Like if it's not happening, it'sprobably not gonna happen, guys.
If it doesn't, if there's not amutual respect that happens
pretty quickly, it's not likeeventually she's gonna develop
this respect for how you'reparenting and and and want to
have feedback and then want todo it with you together like the
Brady Bugs.

SPEAKER_01 (49:05):
Yeah, yeah.
The the 100% agree.
Very, very well said.
I the the picture I have in mymind when you're describing that
is is this a two-way street?
And and we want to test drive,driving in both directions on
the two-way street, well beforewe bring kids into the mix,
because you don't want to enterinto a relationship and you

(49:28):
really don't want to bring yourkids into a dynamic where it's
not a two-way street.
Yeah.
Um, and and it's really, it'sreally sad sometimes, especially
if she's really attractive, tohave to walk away.
Let's be honest.
A lot of the times we're beingvery open-minded.
We're we're like, we're we'rehoping, we're we're giving the

(49:49):
benefit of the doubt, we believein the potential because we're
really attracted to her.

SPEAKER_00 (49:54):
Yep.

SPEAKER_01 (49:54):
And and it it but you have to you have to be
honest with yourself, especiallyif you're bringing kids into the
mix, you have to be honest withyourself.
Do I want this woman influencingmy children?
And you know, is this a realtwo-way street where both sides
are talking, both sides arelistening, and and is this
something that we are, is thissomething that I want to model

(50:17):
for my children to have?
Or am I walking into anotherdysfunctional one-way street,
you know, that's it's weird.
The last thing, the last thing Iwant to also uh add to this is
when you're having theseconversations, which is test
driving this to see whether ornot you can listen to her

(50:37):
talking about how she parents,whether or not she is curious
and listening to you talkingabout how you parent.
When this works well andsuccessfully, it's actually a
very exciting conversationbecause you're seeing what it
would be like to have anotherparent right there.
And the two of you are learningabout the other side, the
masculine and the feminine.

(50:58):
The two of you are seeing a muchlarger perspective than you are
on your own.
And hopefully you're excitedabout what what kind of
realizations, what kind of funfamily life you could have if
you were to blend the twofamilies together.
And I would say that you need toalmost be enjoying and feeling

(51:21):
excited about the chemistrytogether of parenting, like the
parenting chemistry needs toalmost be as exciting as you
know, your your sexualattraction to her.

SPEAKER_00 (51:31):
Oh, dude, totally.
I get totally turned on if I geton this get in a conversation
and on the same way wavelengthwith a a woman who's in her
feminine and talk and talkingabout being a like something
about a mom and being a mom andin her feminine that is so
unbelievably attractive to me.

(51:52):
It is so like it is the sexiestthing beyond beyond anything, at
least at least for me.
So so I want I wanted to justsay basically, if we're going
through and having theseconversations, whether it's in
the beginning about schedulingand or at or or at the end and

(52:12):
being curious and then watchingand listening, really, really
what I'm taking away fromeverything that you said today,
Dallas, is be curious and andand then observe and and and
what and listen.
Observe and and listen, and thatway you're you're going to be
able to get a lot of feedbackthat is going to help you

(52:35):
determine whether or not youwant to either keep going in
this, take it to the next level,whatever, whatever it might be.
And another thing you hit on atthe end about about the the
hotness factor, right?
Like, I'll just say, no matterhow hot if these red flags come
up, guys, and you're like you'relike, maybe if you start to the

(52:58):
question, just get out.
Like it's just not worth it.
And I'm speaking fromexperience, guys.
Just it's just not worth it.
And and that's hard though,because as a divorced dad,
particularly, if you're justgetting back in into dating, now
I'm a decade down the road.
It's much easier for me to belike, okay, thanks.
It was great meeting.
You're wonderful, but we're thisisn't a long-term match, right?

(53:19):
That was much harder for me inthe beginning.
Uh because I was like, oh, I'mgetting attention, and she's so
hot, and you know, sex might begreat, like whatever.
But I can tell you, you need tobe, you need to, you need to
number one, have a coach likeDallas, or a or good friend, or

(53:40):
friends, even better, thataround you that you can bounce
this stuff off of when you'rewhen you're not in that highly
eroticized state when you'rearound her and all of your
hormones are going off, and youcan talk about what she said
about her kids or what she'sdoing with her ex or what her
schedule's like, and you cansay, Hey, Dallas, like what do

(54:01):
you think of this?
Have male friends around thatyou can talk about dating with.

SPEAKER_01 (54:06):
Yeah, so true.
And it's so hard when we'restrongly attracted to a woman to
keep our wits about us.
It it we we just we want it, thedesire, we become focused, where
you know, that hunter instinctkicks in, and we will we will
look past all kinds of all kindsof stuff that we shouldn't look
past.

SPEAKER_00 (54:24):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (54:24):
And so so when you're asking yourself, okay, am
I turned on by my desire forher?
Or am I turned on by herresponsiveness to me?

SPEAKER_00 (54:33):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (54:34):
That would be that would be the thing to keep in
mind is is do I love the wayshe's making me feel because of
how she responds to what I'mputting out there, what I'm
inviting her to, you know, whatI'm what what I'm in trying to
initiate with her?
Or am I just am I just attractedto her from a one-sided place
and has nothing to do with howshe's actually responding and

(54:55):
engaging with me?

SPEAKER_00 (54:57):
I think I think that is the perfect way to to end it,
right?
Like that is the litmus test, ifyou will, if you're gonna have
to have a litmus test, or youneed, like I do, this uh this
straightforward way to thinkabout things, because I'm a guy,
right?
That is that is a perfect way tothink about what is what is

(55:19):
turning you on?
Is it the the physical or is ithow she's responding to what you
are putting out there?
And if it's not what you'reputting out there, then you need
to you need to reassess andreally determine what your
priorities are and and probablyyou know cut and and bait and go
another direction.

SPEAKER_01 (55:39):
Or like you say, Jude, keep it recreational, or
keep it recreational.

SPEAKER_00 (55:43):
I mean, there's nothing wrong if that's what you
want or that's what she wants.
Just be open and clear aboutwhat what you're doing and what
that is.
Yeah, yeah.
Cool.
This is awesome, dude.
Good stuff.
Hey, yeah, hey, I just want toacknowledge, man, we I think we
did a good job on that thirdround.
That's a tough one.
People get really upset aboutthat.
Nobody wants to talk about thethe challenges with it.

(56:06):
Nobody wants to say that it'snot a freaking superpower.
It that's complete bullshit.
Nobody wants to talk about theaccess, nobody wants to talk
about uh how you parent, likeall this stuff, these like all
those subtopics within thistopic are all third route stuff.
And I feel like we did a asatisfactory job with talking
about that in a respectfulmanner.
So thank you as always.

(56:26):
You are amazing, Dallas, and intraversing some of these
difficult things.
How did the guys uh get in touchwith you?

SPEAKER_01 (56:33):
Get in touch, first of all, like and subscribe to
this show if you haven't done italready.
Uh, second, hop on the mailinglist so you can be part of our
live QA sessions that we'redoing with the Dad's Dating
After Divorce.
We do once a month.
You want to be sure to get onthe mailing list so you can jump
in and talk to us live.
And then if you're interested insome coaching in your dating
life, go over toblackboxdating.com and check out

(56:54):
the men's coaching program.
All right, where do they go toget on the mailing list?

SPEAKER_00 (56:57):
Yeah, this Thursday, this the 18th, is the Dad's
Dating After Divorce QA.
It's free, guys.
So go to the divorcedadvocate.com, go to the events
calendar, check it out.
You can you can download all ofour events that are that are
going on there.
And also, just I can't emphasizeenough, it doesn't cost you any

(57:19):
money to really help us expandthe reach of this podcast.
It's growing every week.
We just had the most downloadsthis week that we've ever had.
And so it continues to grow.
But if you share this on socialmedia, or even better, if if
you'll just leave us a starrating and a comment, what that

(57:39):
makes the algorithms go crazy.
And then the algorithms on allthese podcast platforms then
start putting our putting ourpodcasts out to more and more
people.
So it this costs you nothing.
This is we do this for free, butif you can help us, it's gonna
help so many more dads out therejust to to leave a star rating

(58:01):
and a comment.
It was it is it is just you haveno idea how much that helps.
So I just want to emphasize thatthat helps us out immensely, and
we appreciate you listening.
So, Dallas, have an awesomeweek.
We'll talk to you then.
You too, Jude.
Talk to you next week.
Bye.