May 15, 2023 • 53 mins
In this episode of Dads Getting Coffee, Justin, Corey, and Bobby tackle the hotly debated topic of the Dad Bod vs Father Figure. Drawing on Corey's expertise in fitness and wellness, the hosts explore the misconceptions around dad bods and the importance of prioritizing health and fitness as a dad.
Did you know that more than half of dads feel self-conscious about their bodies? Or that fathers who engage in physical activity tend to have children who are more active as well? We'll discuss these and other fascinating statistics about dads and fitness, drawing on sources like a study from the Journal of Physical Activity and Health.
But it's not all about the numbers – the hosts also share their personal experiences with getting and staying in shape as dads, offering tips and tricks for making fitness a part of your daily routine. From setting SMART goals to subbing in healthy snacks, they'll share practical advice for living your fittest life, no matter what your schedule looks like.
So, grab a cup of coffee and join us for this fun and informative episode on getting and staying in shape as a dad. Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Justin (00:10):
Hello and welcome to another episode of Dad's Getting
Coffee podcast.
I'm your host, Justin, and I'mhere today with my two friends,
co-host, and fellow dads, Coreyand Bobby, as we gear up for the
summer, it's time to talk aboutthe infamous dad bod.
It's a phenomenon that affectsall dads all over the world, and
we're here to explore what itmeans to be a father figure
(00:31):
while also staying in shape.
For starters, it can help youkeep up with your kids during
playtime while also increasingyour energy levels, overall
mood.
Plus, let's be honest, whodoesn't wanna look good while
they're at the pool or beachwith their family?
Luckily, Corey is an expert inthis field, having spent the
last decade helping people getand stay in shape.
(00:51):
He's got a wealth of knowledgeto share with us, so we're
excited to, to learn from himtoday and, uh, just have some
good banter.
as always, we'll kick off ourshow with Brood wisdom where
we'll share our insights andlearnings from the week.
Unless, but not least, we'llwrap up with Hot Takes where we
end the show, talking about thethings we can't stop thinking
about parenting or otherwise.
(01:12):
Uh, so let's get started.
Let's see what's been brewed.
Uh, Corey, I'm gonna go to youfirst.
Corey (01:18):
Uh, yeah.
So this week my brood wisdom isgoing to be, don't tell social
media when you are going onvacation.
It's something that we havenever done.
I feel like people, I mean, thechances are low, but people can
see when you are away from yourhome as a whole, and they could
use it as an opportunity to takeadvantage of that in some way or
(01:39):
another.
Justin (01:40):
I think people have just become massive oversharers on
social
Corey (01:45):
That's also very true,
Justin (01:47):
not even just like when you're leaving your house.
Just like lots of things.
Lots of things that youshouldn't, like some people post
like their id, I got my licenseand then you post your id.
Like, don't do that.
Your I your address is on itlike your ID number.
Corey (02:01):
your with your, thumbnail.
Justin (02:03):
Why would you do that?
That, that's good wisdom.
Corey (02:06):
Yeah.
So that was it for, for me.
How about you, Bobby?
Bobby (02:08):
I was struggling to find one this week, so my dad used to
say that, something isn't onsale unless you're originally
going, like, looking for thatitem and then found it on sale.
But if you're walking throughthe department store and you're
like, oh, this is on sale, letme buy it, you're, it's not on
sale for you.
Justin (02:27):
Mm, I like that.
Bobby (02:29):
So basically the way we all behave in Target.
like that is not on sale.
Justin (02:33):
Right, right.
Anytime I go to Target.
Right,
Bobby (02:38):
that, I don't know if you are trying to, cut some expenses
or, you know, find a way to payfor childcare, whatever else for
these crazy little kids that youneed to buy.
Maybe approaching that when yougo into places could be helpful.
Maybe save a couple extrapennies.
Put it in your, keep'em in yourpocket.
(02:58):
Have'em for something else.
Justin (02:59):
Well, mine is, um, something, well, mine is
something that I've heard,before and so it's, it's not
original either, but, no twokids are raised in the same
family.
Bobby (03:09):
Hmm.
Justin (03:09):
So check this out.
So I heard, yeah, I heard this.
a few, few years ago, and it'sworth repeating.
So no two kids are raised in thesame family or by the same
parents.
So as you add one, then two, andin my case three, you're just
not the same people, you're notthe same family.
you know, my second will neverhave the experience of being the
oldest.
My youngest will never be anonly child.
(03:29):
You know, we have thisconversation about nature versus
nurture all the time, butfrankly, you know, you can't
parent two children the same,even if you wanted to.
So I guess my brood wisdom kindof relates to last week's
episode and then expands on itthat your, your kids are unique.
They're totally different.
Just embrace the uniqueness, butalso give yourself a break.
You're growing and evolving andchanging too as a parent.
(03:51):
And things that you may havethought you screwed up or could
have done differently or better.
The first time you get a secondchance, sometimes you get a
third chance.
But you know, they're gonna bedifferent.
And you're also different asyou're raising and growing your
family, getting older and wiser.
So that's my br wisdom is youcan't do two things.
The same with with kids.
Corey (04:11):
It makes a lot of sense too with even just how you
relate to your kids, because Iwas, the youngest of two and my
son is the older brother andI've never had that experience
before.
So, teaching him how to be anolder brother or just, you know,
setting an example, it's like Ican relate as a younger sibling
to my daughter, but you know,obviously the things are there
that, um, that I went throughwhen I was a kid and having an
(04:33):
older brother and everything.
So it's like I know what they'regoing through as a whole, but
it's definitely interesting howyou, how you, how you raise them
differently even though they'repart of the same family, you
know, but not part of the samefamily.
Justin (04:42):
Right.
Right.
Corey (04:44):
I
Bobby (04:44):
just inherently it's like a, there's a different mixture,
different, you know, formula ofthe family, different makeup of
the family's just gonna resultin some of those differences.
And now that you've said it,it's the most obvious thing in
the world that never would'veoccurred to me.
Corey (05:00):
Hmm.
Justin (05:01):
So with that in mind, let's shift focus to the main
content of today's episode.
So the dad bod versus the fatherfigure.
So Corey, as someone who hashelped countless people get and
stay in shape, I'm curious tohear your thoughts on the topic.
Um, I'm gonna turn it over toyou.
Corey (05:18):
All right, so talking about this is like a big, a big
deal because I feel likethere's, you know, the dad bod,
which is really just a littlebit of fluff and supposedly, uh,
a lot of people prefer this bodytype and it has this
non-threatening, comfortableaura to it.
And then there's the fatherfigure where they're in very
good shape.
Maybe it's a little stronger, alittle more stoic.
(05:40):
And we joke about both, um, asmen and dads, but what is our
preference and is thatpreference out of laziness or is
it out of, you know, confidence,whatever it may be, mentally or
physically?
Uh, so just even like with whatyou were saying before, just
being in the industry for 10years or so, um, I have a
business, self-sufficientfitness and just assisting
clients in their differentlifestyles and backgrounds,
(06:02):
through all of their challenges.
It's interesting, my ownchallenge over the years has
been just becoming a father andthen trying to stay consistent
with my own health and fitness.
Um, and then just like the ironyof, you know, helping my clients
stay accountable and reachingtheir own goals and then in turn
having trouble stayingconsistent with my own healthy
lifestyle.
Um, that's just been a reallytough pill to swallow since I've
(06:24):
been a dad.
So I found like a lot of it hasto do with just letting go of
what you once were or obsessingover what you could be and just
focusing on what could make youa better and more, you know,
physically active dad in, in thepresent.
and like I was saying, likewe've all joked around about the
dad bod and what we could orshould be doing, like what we
used to bench press in highschool or any, you know, sports
(06:46):
we may have played, but.
You gotta think about like whatare the real challenges that we
face as dad's staying fit?
It's not as simple as, you know,like, oh, I need to work out
here and there, because thosethings are obvious.
It's like, work out, stayactive, eat healthy.
That part's not rocket science.
It's all of like the littlehabits that we, that go through
every day that either keep usfrom getting to those goals or,
(07:07):
you know, push us forwardthrough them.
I guess what we really wannaknow is how do we embody the
father figure and sustainablysetting an example to our kids
that our health and quality oflife are paramount to our
existence, you know, asindividuals or a family and just
putting ourselves first.
Because I feel like as dads wehave like a really hard time
(07:27):
doing that sometimes.
You know, we we're always abouttaking care of the family and.
you know, Setting an example toour kids that are health and
quality of life are paramount toour existence as, you know,
individuals and as you know, asa family.
And just, you know, how do weput ourselves first?
Wh which is so hard as dadsbecause, you know, we're always
putting work first or the familyfirst, and it's, you know, we
(07:48):
forget about ourselves.
We convenience everyone else,and we forget about, you know,
really taking care of our own,uh, health and even mental
health.
So, you know, some common thingsthat we claim are enemies.
Our time, our energy motivation,a combination of them.
Sometimes people are workingthrough injuries or finding, you
know, time to cook healthy mealsor just they don't even know.
(08:11):
Where to start or how to beactive.
and it's just in this, thesesmall changes that comes the
biggest opportunities.
So like Ju Justin, just likefor, for us three, since we're
talking together, uh, what wouldyou say are your biggest
challenges that you've faced instaying fit or even just staying
active since becoming a dad?
Justin (08:29):
I think my challenges have been the same.
Dad or not dad, to be honest, isjust consistency.
And so generally speaking, Iknow what to do in the gym.
So some of it's like, do youknow what you're doing because
you don't want to get injuredand that kind of stuff.
So generally speaking, like Iwas active all in, high school
and college.
And so generally speaking, Iknow my way around a gym, so
(08:53):
that's not the problem.
the problem just is likeconsistency.
Like I'll go do really, reallywell for a couple of weeks and
then I'll like slack off andthen that'll also last a couple
of weeks, so mine has
Corey (09:08):
You get tired of slacking
Justin (09:09):
Yeah, right, right.
So I get tired of slacking offand then I get all back into it
again.
Um, so me, for me, it's alwaysbeen a consistency game.
Like how do I stay on it longerthan.
Two weeks, three weeks,whatever.
that's always been my majorchallenge.
And then I also don't seeresults quick enough for myself.
I like instant gratification inlike most things in my life.
(09:31):
Like if I want, if I for to, toBobby's brood wisdom.
If I'm walking through the storeand I'm like, I want this, then
I want it today.
I don't want it tomorrow.
I, I want it today so I'm gonnabuy it.
Corey (09:42):
I want patience
Justin (09:43):
Right.
I want patience now.
So, um, those are probably thetwo things that I've struggled
with the most is consistency.
And then even when I am going atit at a consistent clip, I don't
feel like I see results fastenough.
So then I'm like, well, I'm justgonna not do it today.
And who cares cuz I'm not seeingresults anyway, you know?
Corey (10:03):
Do you set yourself up where you say, you know, like,
I'm going to do it every day ofthe week, and it just gets outta
hand where you, you can't reachthat, like you can't reach what
you thought you were going to bedoing, or is it just things come
up and it's, it's hard to juststick with the same time or the
schedule or whatever it may be.
Justin (10:19):
Real talk.
So when I, I travel for work andI don't travel a lot, like far
distances, but I travel and I'min a hotel and it just breaks up
the routine.
Like, I'll work out when I'm athome, you know, three times a
week, four times a week.
I'm not like an every dayperson.
Like I, that's, that's anunrealistic expectation for me.
(10:40):
So I typically try to say likethree or four days, but when I
then travel Monday throughThursday or Tuesday through
Thursday, I don't get anythingdone.
Cuz when you travel on a hotel,you're off your game, you're off
your routine.
So that's always, that also, um,throws me off.
Corey (10:56):
And even with that comes like food and staying consistent
with that too.
That's gotta be tough too withtraveling.
A couple, a lot of the clientsthat I have, they'll, they'll do
great.
They'll come in, you know, twicea week or whatever it may be,
and then they'll travel for workfor two weeks at a time.
Or they'll take, you know, sevenvacations through the year and
it all adds up big time to, it'slike, that's great, you were
consistent, but that's how manyhours of the year or the week or
(11:18):
the month.
It's like you did a great jobstaying consistent those 10
hours, but what happened tothose like 500 other hours?
You know?
It's really tough to, to find agood balance there.
Bobby (11:28):
I would agree.
I struggle with the consistencya lot as well, but I also
struggle with.
If I don't do everything rightthat I'm supposed to throughout
the day, then I'm like, well,tomorrow's already ruined.
And then I have basically talkedmyself out of like, like
tomorrow's a wash and we'll getback on it.
And then it just seems like,well, then I don't, and then
(11:49):
that's how I fall out of anylike a routine basically.
most often cause I'll be like,well, I ate crap for dinner and
I had a long day.
And I don't feel like waking upat 5:00 AM so tomorrow I'll just
sleep in.
We'll let this process through.
I'll feel better and I'll get itthe next day.
And it's like just taking thatone day for me is my kryptonite.
Justin (12:11):
I was confused when you said tomorrow, because you're a
mor, you're a morning personlike you would wanna work out in
the morning.
I'd prefer to work out at nightbecause I'm not getting up.
Cause I like to sleep.
So you say if you, if the daybefore is a wash that ruins you
in the morning, that's whatyou're saying.
Bobby (12:28):
Yeah.
Yeah.
If I didn't do everything that Iwas supposed to today, and
usually like I can recover fromsomething, you know, if I had
one bad meal or something, but,
Justin (12:37):
Sure.
Bobby (12:38):
on what it is, it's like if a, if enough things didn't go
right today and I might have gotmy workout in today, then
tomorrow I'm like, deserve abreak or whatever.
I tell myself I can't, I'm notgonna do it tomorrow.
And then it's like that one dayoff, like ends up spiraling.
Corey (12:57):
It makes a lot of sense because I can relate to that a
lot because you know I'll.
You know, you know what long,you know, hardworking
consistency looks like, and youthink, well, this one workout
will make a difference.
So even if I skip it thisweekend, like, what's really
gonna matter?
But then that will happen forhow many weeks or how many days
in a row?
And you think, okay, well it'sjust one more workout.
(13:18):
Like what's, you know, 20 minuteworkout gonna do for me?
But it's like in those 20 minuteworkouts, whatever it may be,
two, three times a week, thatthose little steps is what gets
you to your goal.
And I think what is reallyimportant about this whole thing
is coming up with a goal tobegin with.
Because if you just have atthese things, and that could be
with any goal, whether it's workor health related, it's just
(13:40):
you, you need to have somethingthat is one's just gonna hold
you accountable.
But one that's it's, it's likepossible to do.
So a lot of the times when weget new clients as trainers, we
talk to them about somethingcalled the smart goal.
So SM a R T.
And it's just goals that arespecific, measurable,
achievable, relevant, and.
time-bound and With beingspecific, it's, it could say
(14:03):
like, instead of setting a vaguegoal, like I'm just gonna be
more active.
You have to really specify theactivities that you want to do.
So you could say, I want to takea walk every other morning for
30 minutes, not even just everymorning, just every other
morning for 30 minutes.
So if you have kids and you gota stroller, whatever it is, take
a walk for 30 minutes everyother day.
It's, it's specific.
Um, and then the next thing ismeasurable.
(14:25):
So goals that are measurablewhere you can actually track
your progress, where it's justnot like a hazy number that
you're looking at.
So for example, you know, I wantto lose 10 pounds in the next
three months, not just, I wannalose weight.
It's like, I wanna lose thisamount in this amount of time.
And then the next point is justgoals that are achievable.
So they have to be realistic,you know, if they're
(14:46):
unrealistic, it'll never happen.
Right?
Or at least you won't know the,the steps to get there.
So, An unrealistic way to startweightlifting could be like, you
know, I haven't weight liftedsince high school.
I'm gonna work out 45 minutes aday every single day until I'm
super fit.
Where you could really juststart by doing a nice, easy,
full body workout a couple timesa week, and then just gradually
(15:07):
increasing the frequency orintensity.
So it's like, make it easy onyourself.
So you could say, I'veaccomplished this, And I could
do more.
Like, this is way too easy.
I could do more.
And then you're really settingyourself up for success with
that.
Um, the next point would be therelevance of your goal.
So just making sure that, youknow, it's.
It's for your overall health andwellness.
(15:28):
So if you have high bloodpressure, you may wanna focus on
activities that may help loweryour blood pressure, like
drinking more water or justregularly walking.
You don't have to go crazy if,if the first steps are are
small, you know, just take thosesmall steps first and then just
setting a time for your, um, foryour goals.
Specific deadlines.
Like, I wanna be able to runthis 5K by the end of the year.
(15:50):
You know, there might be aspecific date that they do it in
July or whatever it may be.
It's like setting a, an actualtime for the year, the month,
the week, whatever it is thatyou're going to get this done.
So then just a couple shortexamples of Smart Goals.
Could be walking 20 minutesevery day for the next month.
Maybe do strength trainingexercises twice a week for the
(16:10):
next three months to just.
You know, improve your overallfitness, replacing sugary snacks
with fruit and vegetables.
and I know we joked a lot aboutbuying tons and tons of fruits
and vegetables for our kids.
Like you can have, you can havethose two.
It's not just for them.
And then just for a lot ofpeople, even my clients, it's
just reducing alcoholconsumption.
I feel like nowadays people getaway with like not calling
(16:33):
themselves alcoholics, it's justlike, oh, I rode a brunch all
the time, but it's no big dealbecause, you know, it's just
once in a while.
But it's like, I'll see peoplepost about going to brunch every
other day and it's like they'realways drinking something.
So it's like, even if you justbacked it down to maybe one
drink a day or a few drinks aweek, you know, that could be a
huge step in either cutting thatout altogether or just really
(16:55):
reducing the amount of caloriesfrom something that's not
helping you, uh, get healthier.
So, like Justin was sayingearlier, just things that you
can do as a dad, you know, likejust by these small.
Goals that you set, you know,you could run around with your
kids now.
You don't get tired throughoutthe day.
You don't have to stay up superlate and you know, all by
yourself eating these disgustingsnacks because you need a little
(17:16):
alone time because now you, you,you feel good going to bed
early.
Um, maybe you don't crash afterwork, you know, if, if you're
out all day.
And then just bouncing back fromthose like ridiculously
disgusting and frequent childillnesses that we all get
constantly, you know, just likeyou maybe only have that cold
for a day or two if you'restaying fit throughout the week.
Justin (17:36):
One of the things that you said around the smart goals
that really resonate with me isthe timebound.
one, my wife, she has, run andfinished, uh, at least one
marathon, I think two, in her,in her, in her life.
Now.
I have no desire to run amarathon ever, but she would,
You know, sign up for a race andthe race would be like six
(17:58):
months from now, or even threemonths from now.
And that would be her momentumor her kind of her incentive
because she was trying to trainfor this thing because the thing
is this date, so if you're notready, it's you're, it's gonna
hurt more if you don't trainnow.
Right.
And I've tried to do that too acouple times.
And even even that, like pullingthe proverbial tri trigger on
(18:21):
those things, like doing a mudrun or doing this or doing that,
like I've always been like,plan, plan, plan, plan, plan.
And then it gets to the end andI just don't sign up and I just
need to, I just need Right.
And I just need to get better atthat, for that like time bound.
Because I do think that if I hadlike a, a, goal I would want,
(18:41):
cuz I don't wanna embarrassmyself.
Right.
Like, so I would, I would wanna,you know, get ready for that.
Corey (18:47):
It's really tough because.
People have differentpersonalities, right?
So the things that hold oneperson accountable, someone
might not care about, you know?
And then someone else might beheld accountable in a different
way.
I have clients who, if theyweren't coming to me to train
two or three times a week, theywould not do anything else.
Justin (19:05):
So you're their, So you're their accountability,
like, I'm
Corey (19:08):
I'm their
Justin (19:08):
Corey, so I need to like do something today.
Corey (19:12):
And then I then I have other clients where I'm just a
piece of their overall healthand fitness and they do a lot of
these things on their own.
Um, but, but, but maybe they hadlike a health scare and that's
their accountability.
It's like them going to thedoctor and being like, my
numbers are good.
You know, I'm, I'm, I'm nolonger diabetic or like, I lost
all this weight and I'm gonnakeep it off because I'm, cuz I
wanna look good, but because thedoctor said X, Y, Z this is
(19:35):
what's going to happen if youdon't lose this weight.
So it's like everyone's comingfrom a, a, different standpoint
for their goals and what holdsthem accountable.
So it's like maybe setting thedate for you doesn't hold you
accountable.
Some, some people need to paymoney to feel like they're being
held accountable and it's just,it's really interesting like the
type of person or client orwhoever it is like what gets
(19:57):
them to do what they need to do.
Justin (19:59):
But it's not always about the time in the gym, it's
also about what you put on yourplate also, right?
Corey (20:06):
Yeah, definitely.
So another concerns besides, aconcern besides activity is just
eating healthy when you're lowon time.
So if you have crazy workschedule or if you don't, just
don't line up schedules withyour, with your spouse or
whatever it may be.
It's tough to do, but it's just,it's not impossible if you take
the right steps.
So some tips just for beingshort on time with meal prep or
things like that and stayinghealthy in your house are just
(20:28):
planning ahead.
So, I know these are easier saidthan done, um, but small steps,
like we were saying before,really help, you know, prepping
meals or even just small snacksin advance.
Uh, like if you have a few hourson the weekend, I.
Consider prepping a couple mealsin advance.
And it doesn't have to be forthe whole week.
It could just be for a coupledays just to get you started.
Um, it could just mean, youknow, grilling some extra
(20:49):
chicken for salads that youcould buy from the store, or
just roasting a ton of veggiesto add to protein throughout the
week.
So it doesn't have to be likefull blown meals.
it just ha has to be enough topiece things together.
Um, even just having groceriesdelivered or being able to pick
them up without having to walkaround the store, figure out
what to buy.
You know, you could sit there atnight, just do it on your
(21:09):
computer.
You could really plan it out alittle easier that way.
Um, and then going along withthat, just choosing quick and
easy recipes.
Uh, my wife and I, she's, she'sthe, the nutritional health nut
and I'm like the movement nutand she's very good at planning
her meals.
and they're always really short,easy res.
I do a lot of the cooking andit's nice to just have like a 20
(21:30):
minute recipe where it's threeor four parts.
You know, you're getting yourproteins, your fats, your, you
know, your healthy carbs, thingslike that.
Um, and then just some peoplehave a habit of skipping meals
and I think it's reallyimportant not to skip meals
because I think my biggest thingwith myself is I'll stay up late
sometimes and have snacksbecause I might skip breakfast
(21:50):
cuz I get my son to school oryou know, I'm running around
with my daughter or I'm just,you know, I'm putting them first
to have fun or whatever it maybe.
And I may skip breakfast lateron in the day.
I'm hungry, I stay up late.
So not only am I not gettingrest, but I am eating these
snacks that I shouldn't beeating because I had, there's no
food left in the house orwhatever it may be.
and something that I could justtouch on real quick too is
(22:11):
intermittent fasting.
So a lot of people talk aboutthis and I feel like they don't
necessarily understand it so Iwanna make a quick point about
it to say that there's nothingwrong with intermittent fasting,
but it is not at the end all orbe all of, of losing weight or,
you know, whatever your goalmight be.
it's just it's just helps youget into a.
Caloric deficit in order to loseweight.
It just limits the amount oftime where you're eating food.
(22:34):
So that doesn't mean you'reskipping meals, it's just
shortening the, time that youwill have to eat those meals
throughout the day.
Um, but it's not innately like afat burner or something that's
going to immediately help youlose weight, but it helps with
people who aren't hungry in themorning or may have crazy work
schedules.
Have you guys ever tried likeany different things like that,
(22:55):
intermittent fasting ordifferent diets that thought you
might help, at first and maybedidn't work so well or things
that were sustainable for you asfar as, uh, food shopping or
eating or anything like that
Bobby (23:06):
I used to do a bit of meal prepping.
Again, we talked about, Youknow, what you used to do versus
now.
Uh, I'm trying to get better atit and kinda like you said, do a
couple of easy things and thenjust put'em together in
different combinations to makeit present like a different
meal.
and my struggle again with thatis getting bored with it because
(23:30):
I don't.
Like doing the, the extraplanning.
like I know how to make a coupleof things and those are my
go-tos, but then, you know, Ineed to do a little bit more
research and think up some othermeals and do that extra cooking.
And I think that's just hard tolike add a couple other go-tos
to your wheelhouse as you go.
(23:50):
But as long as you can make thecommitment, that's really the
commitment for meal prepping iskind of like the consistency for
working out, I guess.
Justin (24:00):
For me, um, My wife does most of the cooking and we we
do, um, HelloFresh, So most of,and she tends to pick the, the,
um, the healthy ones.
so, so she makes sure that she'salways been a healthy eater And
so she makes sure we eathealthy.
But I haven't done like, uh, Adiet.
I've always been kind of dietaverse because, you know, you
(24:24):
there's just a lot of thingsthat people can go overboard
with, with calorie counting andthings like that.
So I, I'm, I've always been kindof diet averse I have a
different problem.
Typically, like I've always hadto work hard to gain muscle.
which it's just a differentproblem.
Like people, I mean, everyonehas a different body type and
(24:45):
body.
You know, Makeup and all thatkind of stuff.
So my mine's always been like Ihad to really try hard to gain
muscle.
Whereas, others have tried hardto lose.
so
Bobby (24:57):
I think it's all relevant, right?
I mean, It's difficult though.
I like, maybe 1% of people justhave like that crazy metabolism
where they're just like bothmuscular and fit and it seems
like they don't really I don'tknow.
Maybe they're doing a ton ofexercise and it doesn't seem
like they are.
Um, but.
Justin (25:15):
Well, to that point, I think, I think while the media
focuses on pressures women faceto con to conform to certain
beauty standards, I think it'simportant that men are immune to
that.
you know, research has shownthat the male body image
concerns are on the rise, andthat social media platforms like
Instagram could be contributingto that.
(25:35):
like on Instagram it'scompetency images of men with
these perfectly sculpted bodiesand chiseled abs and bulging
biceps and, you know, theseimages can cause like really
unrealistic expectations forwhat the male body has to look
like or should look like So,Leading dads and some men to
(25:58):
feel inadequate or insecureabout their bodies on the beach
or at the porch with theirfamilies.
So, you know, not to say thatthere aren't influencers and
fitness experts on Instagram andothers who are pro promoting,
you know, body positivity andencouraging men to embrace their
natural body shape.
But I think it's important toremember that there's really no
one right way to look in thateverybody's body is different
(26:22):
and ultimately the key, um, iscultivating a healthy body image
and prioritizing one's physicaland mental health over external
appearance.
You know, by focusing on thingslike strength, endurance,
overall wellbeing, rather thanjust looks we can, as dads
achieve a more kind of balancedAnd sustain approach to, fitness
(26:42):
and just live longer for ourchildren.
Right.
And I think that's really whatthe overall, um, what this is
really all about.
Corey (26:49):
Yeah, it's really, it's really crazy cuz bodies is
dysmorphia.
It is such a real thing, evenfor men and, you know,
regardless of where you werewhen you were younger or how you
feel now about your body, it's,you know, you're valid in
however you feel one way or theother.
And it's like, we go throughbody image all the time, just
like with what you, everythingyou just talked about.
And it's, to be able to talkabout it too is important
(27:11):
because if we're just sufferingin silence and, and, we don't
like who we are or how we feel,you know, how we feel,
throughout the day, you know,it's like having, having an
outlet to talk about it or eveneven getting someone who, who
wants to go to the gym with youor who, who is working with you
on these things is reallyimportant.
Just to have someone who, whounderstands where you're coming
from.
And I think that ties a lotinto, yeah, go ahead.
Justin (27:32):
I think I've, when I was working out with someone else,
that's when I've been in the, inkind of the best shape is when I
had like someone to either to goto the gym with or that was,
Keeping me accountable.
so even if you can find some,some dads in the area or some,
some folks to work out withthat's probably a, you know, a
good way to one build networkand, you know, maybe we can get
(27:56):
dads getting fit.
So we got dads getting coffeeand dads getting fit.
Corey (28:01):
It, it really ties into like, Fatherhood and fitness,
just being the, the mostchallenging balance that there
is.
You know, it's so important forus to prioritize our health and
wellness, but we also have to bepresent in our, our kids' lives,
right?
So if we're not setting that.
example, you know, they seeevery single thing we do.
So if we're showing them that wecare about our bodies and we, we
(28:21):
care about staying healthy andwe care about staying active,
they're gonna want to do thesame things.
And so for me, I think that wasone of the things I had the
biggest problem with.
And it was, mine was like a lotof guilt and just feeling like,
you know, if I didn't get right,right, home after work, you
know, they were missing out.
Or if I, you know, if I workout, if I spent too much time
outta the house right now, likeI'm not spending enough time
(28:42):
with my family.
And it was very, like, it felt,it didn't make much sense to me
at the time.
Like, I was like, why do I feelthis way?
I shouldn't feel guilty abouttaking care of myself.
But you know, other emotionstake over and then they turn
into excuses and it's reallyhard, like easy to, to fall
away.
So in those times where I'mfeeling, you know, guilty or
whatever it is, I try to.
Make fitness a part of the everyday with my kids.
(29:04):
So not necessarily saying I needto work out, you know, five
times a week or whatever it maybe.
It's like, for me it's juststaying active every day.
It's doing something or anactivity every day, even if it
involves my kids.
So sometimes that means, youknow, running around the house,
like race cars with my son orgoing to the park, kicking the
ball around.
Maybe we'll just, I'll take awalk with my daughter while my
(29:24):
son's at school, or I'll, youknow, while he's learning how to
ride his bike, I'll chase afterhim.
It's just involving them in away to stay active where if I
don't have time for thatconventional workout, quote
unquote, at least I can sustainsome level of confidence that
I'm at the very least doingsomething for my body.
Um, Bobby, what are some ways,that you've bounced your newborn
(29:46):
responsibilities and then yourown health?
Bobby (29:49):
Uh, well, to be honest, I haven't, I am, you know, only a
couple months in and I ha I amprone to going through, you
know, periods of time where I'mvery consistent and like working
out and then fall off and thingskind of start.
Start to not feel as well.
(30:09):
And then I get back on it, uh,with becoming a dad, you know,
there's just way less time theday, to be honest.
I feel like it's a struggle justto find like the ability to
shower consistently.
Uh, so like if that's where I'mat with just like my own, the
working out part has also notreally been getting put
(30:33):
together.
and for various reasons I.
Need things to, like, I likethings, everything that go to
plan, as I said, uh, there'sless time I need to make the
commitment to get up in themorning.
So I am a morning person, butwhat I struggle with is because
I'm a morning person, that'swhere my best energy is.
And if I get up and do a workoutand then go to work, and I get
(30:57):
in at like eight o'clock.
Eight o'clock is a normal hourfor most people, but by eight
o'clock I usually have like abunch of stuff done.
And I feel like I've given mybest energy to, working out and
not to my career.
And then I like second guesslike how I'm feeling by the time
we get to noon, one o'clock.
And that's a, that's difficult.
I think just getting up,committing to that 5:00 AM
(31:18):
workout to do it is difficult.
Uh,
Corey (31:22):
Like right now, that's, that's, not the, not as possible
as it once was because of allthe new responsibilities.
Bobby (31:28):
Yeah, and I, I, I'm a very big people pleaser.
I give a lot of my energy to, Ithink, trying to take care of
everything else.
And with a child it's maybeunhealthy that like, I need to
actually carve maybe just a fewmore minutes out.
For myself, um, but I'm mostlydevoting may, maybe too much of
(31:53):
my energy to making sureeverything else and everybody
else is taken care of and needto focus, like be a little bit
selfish and try to find thattime for myself.
one way or another.
So it's just really finding thatbalance.
and it's not easy.
So, you know, I'm being honest,it might take a few months, uh,
Like I've started the lastcouple weeks with going back to
(32:13):
work, starting with the mealprepping,
Corey (32:16):
Mm-hmm.
Bobby (32:16):
I'm trying to make a couple of healthy things so that
I can at least feel good aboutwhat I'm eating and how, like
throughout the day and slowlybuild in more good habits.
And, you know, I've been maybeworking out once a week and just
trying to slowly find a way to.
Commit to it and get to it moreoften.
So we talked last week aboutdoing the family, sit down
(32:39):
meeting and what is everythingthat we need to do this week?
My wife and I did that this pastweek for our first one, and we
put on there what days we weregonna work out so that we could
try to support each other
Corey (32:49):
That's awesome.
Bobby (32:50):
schedule.
So, uh, yeah, that was, it'sgreat.
Planned, but like, we've justmissed that.
Like one morning, like we had adoctor's appointment the other
morning I signed up for, I'mworking from home.
So very quickly I was like, oh,my three days just went to one
and like, need to maybe, planjust a little bit better.
But
Corey (33:09):
Is.
yeah,
Bobby (33:10):
sure that's not the answer you want to hear.
Like, Hey, how are you doing
Corey (33:13):
No, I mean, but it's real it's real.
Bobby (33:15):
like, that's what I'm going through.
And I think a lot of people willalso
Corey (33:19):
I feel like it's so common, the whole putting,
putting everyone first thing,and we have to realize like
stepping out for an hour orwhatever it may be.
Everyone's got it.
Everyone's gonna be fine.
you know, like everyone willjust like, you go to work for X
amount of hours, you know, andeveryone's fine.
You work out for an hour, youspend a little time on yourself.
It's like they, we will be okay,you know, without you for that
(33:40):
amount of time.
It's just striking that balance,you know?
It's like, it's an ongoingprocess, no matter how you look
at it.
Bobby (33:46):
as much as I don't want to do this because I am more of
a morning person, I may have toreconsider finding the time at
night.
I really struggle with doinganything after I've eaten
dinner, basically, once I'veeaten dinner.
There's no physical activity.
For whatever reason I've likeassociated that with, I have too
much in my stomach and I'm notlike doing burpees or picking
(34:10):
things up and putting'em down ordoing like a bike ride or
anything.
Uh, but maybe I need to get overthat and realize it's not as bad
as I think because that'sprobably where the most amount
of my time that's available is.
Corey (34:27):
Right, But at that point you're, you're, you know, you're
tired from the day and goingthrough war at work and helping,
you know, doing, doing whateveryou need to do for your baby.
And the end of the day comeswhen you were supposedly going
to do the workout and it's like,you know, you are, you deserve
rest too.
You know, so it's
Bobby (34:42):
Yeah.
Corey (34:43):
taking advantage of the days where you got a little bit
of energy in you.
Bobby (34:47):
Mm-hmm.
Corey (34:47):
How about you, Justin?
Justin (34:49):
Like I said kind of earlier, it, for me, it all
falls apart when I travel.
Um, and I haven't quite figuredthat I haven't cracked that nut.
I haven't figured out how tostay active while I'm traveling.
Cuz usually there's like dinnersand, and just, you're just out
kind of late when you're, whenyou're traveling and not home.
but just today I was putting,um, I was putting my son to
(35:10):
sleep and before I put him tosleep, like he wanted, you know,
dad's love to rough house beforesleep.
Like the, the stereotype as momsare like calming and they want
to like do the sleepy time.
I'm like, let's wrestle.
Bobby (35:24):
from
Corey (35:24):
Get to get that energy out.
Get the energy out before
Justin (35:27):
So that's what we were doing, to my wife's dismay and,
I was like, um, you know, quoteunquote bench pressing my five,
my five year old.
So, right.
Like, listen, if you, if that'swhat you can get in for the day,
get that in for the day.
Like, if you need to curl yourthree-year-old, curl your
three-year-old, you know,
Corey (35:46):
Movement
Justin (35:47):
mo, right?
Movement is movement.
So I, sometimes when I don'tfeel like I'm gonna get a, a
workout in, I use them as aworkout.
Like, I'm like, all right, geton my back and I'll do a plank
and we'll see how long I canhold that plank.
And if that's the workout I getin today, that's the workout I
get in today.
So I would say to other dads,you know, take what you can get.
(36:08):
Really just take what you canget even when you're with your
small child.
um, doing squats will make themdie laughing.
So you're holding them and youdecide that you're gonna do 25
squats.
Like do it.
Do it.
And if that's all you get intoday, then great, but at least
you did something, and you canfeel good about yourself.
And then maybe tomorrow you cando 30 and maybe you'll end up
(36:30):
like going for a walk and youknow, just start kind of that
bread, chma pot approach ofgetting some, some activity in.
Corey (36:37):
Yeah, we have to remember, we have like a ton of
roles.
We have our work selves, ourpartner selves, our father
selves.
It's just like we have to givetime to all of them.
And it doesn't always have to beequal, but we do have to fit
ourselves in bear too, you know?
And you know you're gonna misssome meals, you're gonna miss
workouts, you might snack alittle too hard, you might stay
(36:57):
up a little late and unwind.
But things will change.
You know, you will findopportunity and it's just, you
know, a matter of takingadvantage of those opportunities
when you can.
And as long as like you keepmoving the needle in any
direction, as long as you cankeep going a little bit by
little bit, you know, we cantake the dad bod if you don't
wanna stick with the dad bod andturn it into, you know, a father
(37:19):
figure.
Bobby (37:21):
I was gonna ask you guys if you ever noticed, like, your
dad's strength at work.
So Justin, you a, you had a goodexample where you kind of
manufactured some, roughhousingand doing some workouts with
curling, a bench, pressing yourkids, stuff like that.
but have you ever just beendoing something that required.
(37:41):
You to like carry the childrenthrough the airport or
something, and you're like,there's no way that you could,
like if you had given me akettlebell and said, you have to
go that far with it.
I could never have done afarmer's carry with the kids or
with that weight, but because Iwas a dad in the moment, I had
to do it.
it just like as, yeah, as muchas like my shoulders were
killing me.
(38:02):
Like, have you ever had an exam?
You have anybody have an examplelike that come to the top of
your head?
Corey (38:05):
There's been times where I'm at, like, you know, picking,
picking up medicine at thepharmacy and it's right around
nap time and everyone's freakingout and I'm holding my daughter
cuz I don't want her run aroundthe store like a maniac.
And then my son starts having aconniption about wanting to go
home and I'll hold them bothfor, you know, a half hour.
And I'm like, how am I holdingthese kids for so long?
But it's like, I don't want themto break down emotionally, so
(38:28):
it's like I will hold on for aslong as possible until we get
this prescription and then I'mgetting outta this store as fast
as possible.
Justin (38:33):
Yeah, mine would be the car seat.
Like, first of all, know how tohold your car seat.
You should not be holding thecar seat, like from, you should
be like putting your whole armthrough it, but like holding the
car seat for more than sixminutes.
Bobby (38:49):
I haven't figured that out.
The, the car seat hold.
I've seen it and then I'vetried, like what, you're
describing, where like youdon't.
hold it by the handle with yourgrip, but you go arm through and
then like cut the bottom of it.
Justin (39:00):
Yes.
That is the, that
Bobby (39:02):
it on,
Justin (39:03):
that's the way
Corey (39:04):
It sits on your elbow and then your hand cups the end of
it.
Yeah.
Bobby (39:07):
I've tried it and I can't figure it out.
I, I, all right, I'll, I'll keeptrying, but continue.
Corey (39:12):
I feel like if anything took over when I became a dad,
was the reflexes that really hasbeen a, a thing that's, it's,
that has surfaced my dad,reflexes have been unreal
between like catching mydaughter when she flies off the
couch or if the chair is tippingover or if they knock something
out of a cabinet.
It's like I will be catching allof those things.
Justin (39:31):
do you ever try to see if you have like the Spidey,
like do you go And see if it'sgonna come out
Corey (39:38):
I look at my hand like, go, there you go.
I have the power.
Oh my God.
Bobby (39:46):
to admit it, but I don't think I got the reflex part.
Maybe it develops a little bitslower or what,
Corey (39:51):
I think it does.
Bobby (39:52):
but I just have this, I don't.
I've spent too much time withadults.
Clearly, I just believe thatkids know better than to do
things and I don't have thatsense to like think like, oh,
they don't know what they'reabout to do and then like catch
it.
So for instance, I was visitingJustin and his family this
(40:13):
weekend.
We did a backyard camping.
He probably doesn't even knowthis.
We did backyard camping and weroasted some s'mores and I.
Got my marshmallow on fire and Ilike brought it back and blew
the fire off.
And then I was trying to pickthe black part that burned off
the marshmallow.
And his son, who I'm teachingthe Romal Rose marshmallows, saw
(40:35):
me do it, did the same thing,and touched the tip of it for
like fraction of a second.
And he, he like jumped back andwas like, I think he got like a
little burn, micro burnsomething.
Maybe there's a little spot inhis finger.
You gotta jack, but.
I was like, I should havethought to
Justin (40:52):
left this part out.
This is, I'm, I'm
Bobby (40:54):
the fire transfers
Corey (40:56):
is terrible.
Bobby (40:57):
metal poker and that you can't touch it.
And it's just like, in my headI'm like, everybody knows better
than to touch the metal part,
Justin (41:03):
I'm learning of this burn child in the moment.
Corey (41:06):
Wow.
You just have to assume thatthey're going to get hurt at
least five minutes earlier thanit happens, and then just
prevent it from happening.
Justin (41:13):
I'm gonna wait for my wife to hear about it when she
listens to the episode.
I'm not gonna leave this roomand tell her.
I'm just gonna wait for her tohear when she listens, and if
she doesn't listen, I'll know
Bobby (41:25):
I mean, I mean, if it's been a week almost at this
point, I'm sure he is.
Justin (41:28):
He's fine.
He's fine.
Bobby (41:30):
my example for the strength part though is we are
always, I'm always trying tolike rock her to sleep.
and I just think to myself likeit goes forever.
and as soon as you stop, shestarts like peeking, like
opening her eyes.
I just think like I can do this.
It feels like forever, but ifthis were a bowling ball or some
other weight, I'm like, there'sno way I'd be able to do it.
It's just like, but because I,This is, what is needed.
(41:53):
this.
is the job I'm, I think I can doit indefinitely.
Corey (41:56):
I, was thinking too, like with the whole, like, you,
you're always holding your kidin one hand, right?
And you're doing something withthe other.
And you know, I, I used to gettension headaches like crazy
because I would just be holdingmy kid all the time.
And then I would think tomyself, oh, what do I teach my
clients?
It's like, all right, posture,keep your, you know, keep your
shoulders down, take a breath,you know, make sure you're
breathing, not holding yourbreath while you're doing
certain things like uncUnclench, the jaw, all those
(42:17):
like, easy things.
But if you realize, like, evenright now, I'm, I'm sitting up,
I got my shoulders up in myears.
It's like, just, you know, takea breath, roll'em back.
Sometimes it helps just to like,relax when you're holding your
kid.
Get into a good posture to doit.
Justin (42:30):
Right.
Bobby (42:31):
Yeah, you have to meditate sometimes, like close
your eyes and just like take adeep breath and just like zone
out.
Corey (42:38):
Like when you're rocking them to sleep for, for like an
hour, it's like, wow, I reallyneed to change how I'm standing
because this is just, it'seither like, I'm gonna put them
down, get a rest, but then I'mgonna start crying again, or I
can push through this andreally, really improve my
endurance of holding a baby foran hour on end.
Justin (42:52):
Well, thanks Corey for sharing your expertise in
shedding light on the dad bodversus father figure debate.
It's clear that there's a lot ofmisconceptions out there, but
the most important thing is fordads to prioritize their health
and fitness in a way that worksfor them and their families.
So before we wrap up, Today'sepisode, let's take a few
minutes for our hot Takessegment.
(43:13):
These are the things that wecan't stop thinking about from
the week, parenting orotherwise.
Uh, but before we jump into ourhot takes, I just wanted to
leave you, just reiterate what Isaid earlier.
Don't get caught up in theimages of Instagram and other
social media platforms.
While these platforms can begreat for connecting, and
finding inspiration, they canalso create unrealistic
expectations and make us feellike we're not good enough.
(43:34):
also, if you're new to workingout or to fitness, do so with
someone that can make sure thatyou're doing it with the correct
form so you don't have anyinjuries.
Um, there's a lot on Instagramaround do these five workouts or
do these five things, and if youdon't have someone, trained, um,
who has done this forever, likeCorey helping you out, there's
really an opportunity to getinjured if you're, if you're
(43:55):
trying to go too, too far, toofast.
And so, Focus on living yourfittest life in a way that works
for you.
Whether that means going on arun with your kids, hitting the
gym, or simply taking a walkaround the block, every little
bit counts.
And remember, fitness is morethan just about appearance.
It's about feeling strong,healthy, and confident in your
own skin.
And, and as co said, don'tforget to set smart goals and
(44:18):
stay committed to them bysetting specific, measurable,
achievable, relevant andtime-bound goals.
You can create a roadmap to helpyou achieve whatever your
fitness aspirations are.
Uh, so make to make sure youstay focused and stay at it even
when it gets tough.
So let's dive in into our hottakes.
Corey, why don't you go first?
Corey (44:38):
So my hot take, I feel like a lot of our hot takes can
also be brewed wisdom, but, myhot take is about reward
systems.
So I think reward systems are agood thing and I, I think
there's a lot of people outthere who think reward systems
might make, their their kidlazy.
You know, they, they do thething to get the reward and then
they stop doing that thing.
But I think you have to keepthose rewards going to a certain
(45:02):
point.
So right now we're doing areward system for our sons
staying in bed.
So,
Justin (45:06):
Hmm.
Corey (45:06):
He had a lot of, he had a hard time staying in bed because
he went from having a joint roomwith his sister to having his
own room.
And you know, it was differentlighting.
We themed it with space stuff.
There's stars on the ceiling,but we were, we're downstairs
now.
So he was a little freaked outby that.
He would come down a lot.
So we said, you stay in your bedfive nights in a row and you
(45:27):
will get, you know, X toy thatyou want.
So he did it first five nights,not a problem.
He said, dad, this is prettyeasy.
So, the next night we're like,well, what are we gonna do now?
He did pretty good the nextcouple nights and we saw that he
might have been falling off ofit a little bit.
So we said, all right, we'regonna try seven nights now, and
then you can get another smallthing.
And I think we're going to justslowly increase that number, but
(45:50):
exponentially.
So it's not like too often he'sgetting a reward, but just to
create.
It's like a good catalyst tocreate good habits.
So that plays right along withwhat we talked about today.
It's like you could rewardyourself for these small little
goals that you're, that you'rehitting.
You know, it's like, okay, you,you hit a couple, you know,
days, days a week for a fewweeks of working out.
(46:11):
Maybe you go get ice cream withthe kids that that's okay to do.
You know, you're not gonna falloff because of that, and then
you get right back to it.
That kind of thing.
Just small reward forconsistency.
Justin (46:21):
The one reward caution I will give, um, dads cuz I've
fallen into this, is like, don'tbuild an entitlement.
Because if you, if like you,give a treat after they eat
their dinner, then it becomesthe treat entitlement.
And that's something that I.
Struggle with in my own house isthe treat entitlement.
And I'm like, you aren't gettinga treat today because not you,
(46:42):
maybe you ate your dinner, butyou were, uh, not a nice person
the rest of the day, so maybeyou're not getting a treat.
So I
Corey (46:49):
That's very quick satisfaction.
Justin (46:50):
right, like the whole treat entitlement thing gets on
my nerves.
So I agree with a reward system.
We did one with, both of my kidsfor potty training.
It worked better for one thanthe other, but you know, if it
worked for you to, to getsomething, um, then do it.
Just beware of the entitlementthat it might come with.
Corey (47:08):
Right.
Do it the right way, like overtime.
Justin (47:10):
Right.
Right.
Bobby (47:12):
Is that the main concern?
So I was gonna ask, because Ihave heard other parents say
that you know, for whatever,reason, their opinion is not to
I guess maybe they can theydon't like, the idea of it being
a bribe.
maybe that's like the key word,that they think that they don't
want to do any sort of, youknow, whether it's behavioral
(47:32):
or, you know, you said pottytraining or whatever else that
you're trying to incentivize.
Corey (47:38):
I think it's about being firm with it too, because a lot
of people may set up a rewardsystem and then they really help
their kid get there by, by beingvery, you know, they're very
lenient about it, and it's like,if, if you don't do one night,
we start over.
You know?
It's not like you're justgetting it no matter what.
After those five days, sevendays, whatever it is, it's like,
all right, if we, if one slip upand we're right back to where we
(48:00):
started, that kind of thing.
So it's like they, they realizethat it, it, it does matter.
There is accountability to it aswell.
Justin (48:06):
I think it's nuance.
I think we could probably do awhole episode on the, on the, on
the reward system
Bobby (48:13):
I know that we're adults and things are different and you
know, I guess, you know, howevermight impact their psychology or
whatever, but all I can relateto it is thinking there.
Are people in my company whotheir whole job is to create the
rewards that keep me there,right?
So like I think most people whowork an office job like can be
(48:35):
honest and say like, there'scertain perks of their job,
maybe benefits or whatever elsethat might help them get
Corey (48:43):
Everyone needs a little something, something for their
efforts.
Bobby (48:45):
like, you know, if that's how most people respond, then
like it doesn't make anydifference.
But I'll.
Let it go.
Justin (48:51):
Bobby, what's your hot take for today?
Bobby (48:53):
My hot take is probably more a what grinds my gears type
of scenario.
And it might be one of the firstchanges in technology that I'm
really starting to struggle withthan gonna be like an old man
yelling at clouds type scenariowith.
I hate.
How fast we've transitioned fromU S B to U s bbc and we get all
(49:16):
these products too that now arestarting to come with the u s
bbc.
But they don't have the adapterto like a wall plug or to be a
regular u sb.
And I've just gone through theprocess of changing out like
certain outlets in my house sothat like I've got, I thought I
was getting with the timebasically, and I have outlets
that have your standard plug andthen also a U S B part.
Justin (49:38):
Mm-hmm.
Bobby (49:39):
In strategic locations because then you don't need like
the wall adapter part and youcan just plug USB directly into
it.
And now everything is u s BBCand companies aren't giving me
the adapter for either of those.
And it's a problem and it justmakes me insane.
Like if you're gonna make theproduct with u s bbc, then it
has to, like somebody inWashington, make it a law.
(49:59):
It has to have the
Justin (50:00):
Somebody in Washington,
Corey (50:03):
This is definitely, it grinds my gears.
Bobby (50:05):
It makes me so mad.
Cause I'm like, great.
Like now I have all of thesegreat u regular USBs and regular
outlets that I have not, like Ihave to go buy another adapter
to figure out how I'm gonnacharge this, this thing.
So, yep.
everybody will find out when youstart buying a bunch of like,
New products for like a childand they all have changed to
(50:26):
this and you have nothing to,there's no way to plug it into
your house.
Justin (50:31):
So in, in some cases, like the old U usb, so the us
what was the usb?
Before the U us bbc, like therewas like, um, something else
Bobby (50:40):
Yeah, I think they
Corey (50:40):
I don't know about any of, I don't know about any of
this, so I'm very like, I'm justlistening for this.
Justin (50:46):
So there used to be like, my kids have Amazon
tablets or whatever, and they,whatever came before the u s
bbc, like it would always break.
Like whatever that connector waswould just break.
And I was like, oh, I hate thesethings.
Um, so the argument for the u sBBC is because like Amazon has
(51:06):
changed all their, they're,they're sturdier, um, than
whatever their predecessor was.
Corey (51:12):
Hmm.
Justin (51:12):
Bobby's furiously googling what the predecessor of
U S BBC is.
So my hot take, um, I gotta behonest, we didn't get a ton of
votes on our TV show episode interms of who won.
So we have
Corey (51:27):
I guess they felt bad voting for me so much that they,
that they had to.
Justin (51:31):
Yes, yes.
And, but fatherly.com released a100 best kids TV shows
Corey (51:40):
Are you kidding me?
Justin (51:41):
just serendipitously.
I just wanna point out thatnumber one was Mr.
Rogers neighborhood.
Number two was Sesame Street.
Number 10 was Octo Knots, andnumber 15 was Daniel Tiger's
neighborhood.
So by virtue of this, um,
Corey (52:00):
This is for 2023.
Justin (52:01):
is for 2023, it was a hundred best TV shows.
And so by virtue of this highly.
respected platform that hasgiven their takes on a hundred
best TV shows.
I clearly won because more of myshows were in the top 10.
That's my hot take,
Corey (52:19):
That's really interesting.
I mean, it's just an opinionpiece, you know?
It's just an opinion.
Justin (52:23):
So if you haven't listened to our previous
episode, go ahead and do that.
But I'm, I'm just saying, so,um, you know, this is a debate
to have another day.
I, I guess, but, you know, Ithink I have a strong argument
for, for being the strongest, TVwatcher of the group, I would
assume.
But, um, that's all the time wehave for today's episode of
(52:46):
Dad's Getting Coffee.
As always, fellas, it was niceunpacking another relevant and
important topic on this journeycalled fatherhood.
Feel free to visit Corey'swebsite, self-sufficient fit.com
for a free two week parent hackworkout that incorporates your
kids and household items into anefficient training program to
keep you active as a family toall you parents or aspiring
(53:07):
parents out there.
Thanks for listening.
We hope you enjoyed ourconversation.
If you did, please leave us afive-star review on your
favorite podcast app.
It really helps us reach morelisteners like you and grow our
community.
And if you wanna stay up to datewith the latest episodes and
news from Dad's getting coffee,be sure to follow us on social
media.
You can find us on Instagram atDad's Getting Coffee podcast.
We'd love hearing from you.
(53:28):
If you're in the northern NewJersey area, you can uh, find us
meeting up in person by emailingus at Dads getting
coffee@gmail.com.
Thanks again for tuning in.
We'll be back next week withanother episode of Dads Getting
Coffee.
Until then, keep on brewing andkeep on Dad.
And remember, being a dad isn'teasy, but it's worth it.
Corey (53:45):
Thanks guys.
Justin (53:45):
There you go.
It's been fun.
Declan (53:48):
Dad's Getting Coffee.
Hello and welcome to another episode of Dad's Getting
Coffee podcast.
I'm your host, Justin, and I'mhere today with my two friends,
co-host, and fellow dads, Coreyand Bobby, as we gear up for the
summer, it's time to talk aboutthe infamous dad bod.
It's a phenomenon that affectsall dads all over the world, and
we're here to explore what itmeans to be a father figure
(00:31):
while also staying in shape.
For starters, it can help youkeep up with your kids during
playtime while also increasingyour energy levels, overall
mood.
Plus, let's be honest, whodoesn't wanna look good while
they're at the pool or beachwith their family?
Luckily, Corey is an expert inthis field, having spent the
last decade helping people getand stay in shape.
(00:51):
He's got a wealth of knowledgeto share with us, so we're
excited to, to learn from himtoday and, uh, just have some
good banter.
as always, we'll kick off ourshow with Brood wisdom where
we'll share our insights andlearnings from the week.
Unless, but not least, we'llwrap up with Hot Takes where we
end the show, talking about thethings we can't stop thinking
about parenting or otherwise.
(01:12):
Uh, so let's get started.
Let's see what's been brewed.
Uh, Corey, I'm gonna go to youfirst.
Corey (01:18):
Uh, yeah.
So this week my brood wisdom isgoing to be, don't tell social
media when you are going onvacation.
It's something that we havenever done.
I feel like people, I mean, thechances are low, but people can
see when you are away from yourhome as a whole, and they could
use it as an opportunity to takeadvantage of that in some way or
(01:39):
another.
Justin (01:40):
I think people have just become massive oversharers on
social
Corey (01:45):
That's also very true,
Justin (01:47):
not even just like when you're leaving your house.
Just like lots of things.
Lots of things that youshouldn't, like some people post
like their id, I got my licenseand then you post your id.
Like, don't do that.
Your I your address is on itlike your ID number.
Corey (02:01):
your with your, thumbnail.
Justin (02:03):
Why would you do that?
That, that's good wisdom.
Corey (02:06):
Yeah.
So that was it for, for me.
How about you, Bobby?
Bobby (02:08):
I was struggling to find one this week, so my dad used to
say that, something isn't onsale unless you're originally
going, like, looking for thatitem and then found it on sale.
But if you're walking throughthe department store and you're
like, oh, this is on sale, letme buy it, you're, it's not on
sale for you.
Justin (02:27):
Mm, I like that.
Bobby (02:29):
So basically the way we all behave in Target.
like that is not on sale.
Justin (02:33):
Right, right.
Anytime I go to Target.
Right,
Bobby (02:38):
that, I don't know if you are trying to, cut some expenses
or, you know, find a way to payfor childcare, whatever else for
these crazy little kids that youneed to buy.
Maybe approaching that when yougo into places could be helpful.
Maybe save a couple extrapennies.
Put it in your, keep'em in yourpocket.
(02:58):
Have'em for something else.
Justin (02:59):
Well, mine is, um, something, well, mine is
something that I've heard,before and so it's, it's not
original either, but, no twokids are raised in the same
family.
Bobby (03:09):
Hmm.
Justin (03:09):
So check this out.
So I heard, yeah, I heard this.
a few, few years ago, and it'sworth repeating.
So no two kids are raised in thesame family or by the same
parents.
So as you add one, then two, andin my case three, you're just
not the same people, you're notthe same family.
you know, my second will neverhave the experience of being the
oldest.
My youngest will never be anonly child.
(03:29):
You know, we have thisconversation about nature versus
nurture all the time, butfrankly, you know, you can't
parent two children the same,even if you wanted to.
So I guess my brood wisdom kindof relates to last week's
episode and then expands on itthat your, your kids are unique.
They're totally different.
Just embrace the uniqueness, butalso give yourself a break.
You're growing and evolving andchanging too as a parent.
(03:51):
And things that you may havethought you screwed up or could
have done differently or better.
The first time you get a secondchance, sometimes you get a
third chance.
But you know, they're gonna bedifferent.
And you're also different asyou're raising and growing your
family, getting older and wiser.
So that's my br wisdom is youcan't do two things.
The same with with kids.
Corey (04:11):
It makes a lot of sense too with even just how you
relate to your kids, because Iwas, the youngest of two and my
son is the older brother andI've never had that experience
before.
So, teaching him how to be anolder brother or just, you know,
setting an example, it's like Ican relate as a younger sibling
to my daughter, but you know,obviously the things are there
that, um, that I went throughwhen I was a kid and having an
(04:33):
older brother and everything.
So it's like I know what they'regoing through as a whole, but
it's definitely interesting howyou, how you, how you raise them
differently even though they'repart of the same family, you
know, but not part of the samefamily.
Justin (04:42):
Right.
Right.
Corey (04:44):
I
Bobby (04:44):
just inherently it's like a, there's a different mixture,
different, you know, formula ofthe family, different makeup of
the family's just gonna resultin some of those differences.
And now that you've said it,it's the most obvious thing in
the world that never would'veoccurred to me.
Corey (05:00):
Hmm.
Justin (05:01):
So with that in mind, let's shift focus to the main
content of today's episode.
So the dad bod versus the fatherfigure.
So Corey, as someone who hashelped countless people get and
stay in shape, I'm curious tohear your thoughts on the topic.
Um, I'm gonna turn it over toyou.
Corey (05:18):
All right, so talking about this is like a big, a big
deal because I feel likethere's, you know, the dad bod,
which is really just a littlebit of fluff and supposedly, uh,
a lot of people prefer this bodytype and it has this
non-threatening, comfortableaura to it.
And then there's the fatherfigure where they're in very
good shape.
Maybe it's a little stronger, alittle more stoic.
(05:40):
And we joke about both, um, asmen and dads, but what is our
preference and is thatpreference out of laziness or is
it out of, you know, confidence,whatever it may be, mentally or
physically?
Uh, so just even like with whatyou were saying before, just
being in the industry for 10years or so, um, I have a
business, self-sufficientfitness and just assisting
clients in their differentlifestyles and backgrounds,
(06:02):
through all of their challenges.
It's interesting, my ownchallenge over the years has
been just becoming a father andthen trying to stay consistent
with my own health and fitness.
Um, and then just like the ironyof, you know, helping my clients
stay accountable and reachingtheir own goals and then in turn
having trouble stayingconsistent with my own healthy
lifestyle.
Um, that's just been a reallytough pill to swallow since I've
(06:24):
been a dad.
So I found like a lot of it hasto do with just letting go of
what you once were or obsessingover what you could be and just
focusing on what could make youa better and more, you know,
physically active dad in, in thepresent.
and like I was saying, likewe've all joked around about the
dad bod and what we could orshould be doing, like what we
used to bench press in highschool or any, you know, sports
(06:46):
we may have played, but.
You gotta think about like whatare the real challenges that we
face as dad's staying fit?
It's not as simple as, you know,like, oh, I need to work out
here and there, because thosethings are obvious.
It's like, work out, stayactive, eat healthy.
That part's not rocket science.
It's all of like the littlehabits that we, that go through
every day that either keep usfrom getting to those goals or,
(07:07):
you know, push us forwardthrough them.
I guess what we really wannaknow is how do we embody the
father figure and sustainablysetting an example to our kids
that our health and quality oflife are paramount to our
existence, you know, asindividuals or a family and just
putting ourselves first.
Because I feel like as dads wehave like a really hard time
(07:27):
doing that sometimes.
You know, we we're always abouttaking care of the family and.
you know, Setting an example toour kids that are health and
quality of life are paramount toour existence as, you know,
individuals and as you know, asa family.
And just, you know, how do weput ourselves first?
Wh which is so hard as dadsbecause, you know, we're always
putting work first or the familyfirst, and it's, you know, we
(07:48):
forget about ourselves.
We convenience everyone else,and we forget about, you know,
really taking care of our own,uh, health and even mental
health.
So, you know, some common thingsthat we claim are enemies.
Our time, our energy motivation,a combination of them.
Sometimes people are workingthrough injuries or finding, you
know, time to cook healthy mealsor just they don't even know.
(08:11):
Where to start or how to beactive.
and it's just in this, thesesmall changes that comes the
biggest opportunities.
So like Ju Justin, just likefor, for us three, since we're
talking together, uh, what wouldyou say are your biggest
challenges that you've faced instaying fit or even just staying
active since becoming a dad?
Justin (08:29):
I think my challenges have been the same.
Dad or not dad, to be honest, isjust consistency.
And so generally speaking, Iknow what to do in the gym.
So some of it's like, do youknow what you're doing because
you don't want to get injuredand that kind of stuff.
So generally speaking, like Iwas active all in, high school
and college.
And so generally speaking, Iknow my way around a gym, so
(08:53):
that's not the problem.
the problem just is likeconsistency.
Like I'll go do really, reallywell for a couple of weeks and
then I'll like slack off andthen that'll also last a couple
of weeks, so mine has
Corey (09:08):
You get tired of slacking
Justin (09:09):
Yeah, right, right.
So I get tired of slacking offand then I get all back into it
again.
Um, so me, for me, it's alwaysbeen a consistency game.
Like how do I stay on it longerthan.
Two weeks, three weeks,whatever.
that's always been my majorchallenge.
And then I also don't seeresults quick enough for myself.
I like instant gratification inlike most things in my life.
(09:31):
Like if I want, if I for to, toBobby's brood wisdom.
If I'm walking through the storeand I'm like, I want this, then
I want it today.
I don't want it tomorrow.
I, I want it today so I'm gonnabuy it.
Corey (09:42):
I want patience
Justin (09:43):
Right.
I want patience now.
So, um, those are probably thetwo things that I've struggled
with the most is consistency.
And then even when I am going atit at a consistent clip, I don't
feel like I see results fastenough.
So then I'm like, well, I'm justgonna not do it today.
And who cares cuz I'm not seeingresults anyway, you know?
Corey (10:03):
Do you set yourself up where you say, you know, like,
I'm going to do it every day ofthe week, and it just gets outta
hand where you, you can't reachthat, like you can't reach what
you thought you were going to bedoing, or is it just things come
up and it's, it's hard to juststick with the same time or the
schedule or whatever it may be.
Justin (10:19):
Real talk.
So when I, I travel for work andI don't travel a lot, like far
distances, but I travel and I'min a hotel and it just breaks up
the routine.
Like, I'll work out when I'm athome, you know, three times a
week, four times a week.
I'm not like an every dayperson.
Like I, that's, that's anunrealistic expectation for me.
(10:40):
So I typically try to say likethree or four days, but when I
then travel Monday throughThursday or Tuesday through
Thursday, I don't get anythingdone.
Cuz when you travel on a hotel,you're off your game, you're off
your routine.
So that's always, that also, um,throws me off.
Corey (10:56):
And even with that comes like food and staying consistent
with that too.
That's gotta be tough too withtraveling.
A couple, a lot of the clientsthat I have, they'll, they'll do
great.
They'll come in, you know, twicea week or whatever it may be,
and then they'll travel for workfor two weeks at a time.
Or they'll take, you know, sevenvacations through the year and
it all adds up big time to, it'slike, that's great, you were
consistent, but that's how manyhours of the year or the week or
(11:18):
the month.
It's like you did a great jobstaying consistent those 10
hours, but what happened tothose like 500 other hours?
You know?
It's really tough to, to find agood balance there.
Bobby (11:28):
I would agree.
I struggle with the consistencya lot as well, but I also
struggle with.
If I don't do everything rightthat I'm supposed to throughout
the day, then I'm like, well,tomorrow's already ruined.
And then I have basically talkedmyself out of like, like
tomorrow's a wash and we'll getback on it.
And then it just seems like,well, then I don't, and then
(11:49):
that's how I fall out of anylike a routine basically.
most often cause I'll be like,well, I ate crap for dinner and
I had a long day.
And I don't feel like waking upat 5:00 AM so tomorrow I'll just
sleep in.
We'll let this process through.
I'll feel better and I'll get itthe next day.
And it's like just taking thatone day for me is my kryptonite.
Justin (12:11):
I was confused when you said tomorrow, because you're a
mor, you're a morning personlike you would wanna work out in
the morning.
I'd prefer to work out at nightbecause I'm not getting up.
Cause I like to sleep.
So you say if you, if the daybefore is a wash that ruins you
in the morning, that's whatyou're saying.
Bobby (12:28):
Yeah.
Yeah.
If I didn't do everything that Iwas supposed to today, and
usually like I can recover fromsomething, you know, if I had
one bad meal or something, but,
Justin (12:37):
Sure.
Bobby (12:38):
on what it is, it's like if a, if enough things didn't go
right today and I might have gotmy workout in today, then
tomorrow I'm like, deserve abreak or whatever.
I tell myself I can't, I'm notgonna do it tomorrow.
And then it's like that one dayoff, like ends up spiraling.
Corey (12:57):
It makes a lot of sense because I can relate to that a
lot because you know I'll.
You know, you know what long,you know, hardworking
consistency looks like, and youthink, well, this one workout
will make a difference.
So even if I skip it thisweekend, like, what's really
gonna matter?
But then that will happen forhow many weeks or how many days
in a row?
And you think, okay, well it'sjust one more workout.
(13:18):
Like what's, you know, 20 minuteworkout gonna do for me?
But it's like in those 20 minuteworkouts, whatever it may be,
two, three times a week, thatthose little steps is what gets
you to your goal.
And I think what is reallyimportant about this whole thing
is coming up with a goal tobegin with.
Because if you just have atthese things, and that could be
with any goal, whether it's workor health related, it's just
(13:40):
you, you need to have somethingthat is one's just gonna hold
you accountable.
But one that's it's, it's likepossible to do.
So a lot of the times when weget new clients as trainers, we
talk to them about somethingcalled the smart goal.
So SM a R T.
And it's just goals that arespecific, measurable,
achievable, relevant, and.
time-bound and With beingspecific, it's, it could say
(14:03):
like, instead of setting a vaguegoal, like I'm just gonna be
more active.
You have to really specify theactivities that you want to do.
So you could say, I want to takea walk every other morning for
30 minutes, not even just everymorning, just every other
morning for 30 minutes.
So if you have kids and you gota stroller, whatever it is, take
a walk for 30 minutes everyother day.
It's, it's specific.
Um, and then the next thing ismeasurable.
(14:25):
So goals that are measurablewhere you can actually track
your progress, where it's justnot like a hazy number that
you're looking at.
So for example, you know, I wantto lose 10 pounds in the next
three months, not just, I wannalose weight.
It's like, I wanna lose thisamount in this amount of time.
And then the next point is justgoals that are achievable.
So they have to be realistic,you know, if they're
(14:46):
unrealistic, it'll never happen.
Right?
Or at least you won't know the,the steps to get there.
So, An unrealistic way to startweightlifting could be like, you
know, I haven't weight liftedsince high school.
I'm gonna work out 45 minutes aday every single day until I'm
super fit.
Where you could really juststart by doing a nice, easy,
full body workout a couple timesa week, and then just gradually
(15:07):
increasing the frequency orintensity.
So it's like, make it easy onyourself.
So you could say, I'veaccomplished this, And I could
do more.
Like, this is way too easy.
I could do more.
And then you're really settingyourself up for success with
that.
Um, the next point would be therelevance of your goal.
So just making sure that, youknow, it's.
It's for your overall health andwellness.
(15:28):
So if you have high bloodpressure, you may wanna focus on
activities that may help loweryour blood pressure, like
drinking more water or justregularly walking.
You don't have to go crazy if,if the first steps are are
small, you know, just take thosesmall steps first and then just
setting a time for your, um, foryour goals.
Specific deadlines.
Like, I wanna be able to runthis 5K by the end of the year.
(15:50):
You know, there might be aspecific date that they do it in
July or whatever it may be.
It's like setting a, an actualtime for the year, the month,
the week, whatever it is thatyou're going to get this done.
So then just a couple shortexamples of Smart Goals.
Could be walking 20 minutesevery day for the next month.
Maybe do strength trainingexercises twice a week for the
(16:10):
next three months to just.
You know, improve your overallfitness, replacing sugary snacks
with fruit and vegetables.
and I know we joked a lot aboutbuying tons and tons of fruits
and vegetables for our kids.
Like you can have, you can havethose two.
It's not just for them.
And then just for a lot ofpeople, even my clients, it's
just reducing alcoholconsumption.
I feel like nowadays people getaway with like not calling
(16:33):
themselves alcoholics, it's justlike, oh, I rode a brunch all
the time, but it's no big dealbecause, you know, it's just
once in a while.
But it's like, I'll see peoplepost about going to brunch every
other day and it's like they'realways drinking something.
So it's like, even if you justbacked it down to maybe one
drink a day or a few drinks aweek, you know, that could be a
huge step in either cutting thatout altogether or just really
(16:55):
reducing the amount of caloriesfrom something that's not
helping you, uh, get healthier.
So, like Justin was sayingearlier, just things that you
can do as a dad, you know, likejust by these small.
Goals that you set, you know,you could run around with your
kids now.
You don't get tired throughoutthe day.
You don't have to stay up superlate and you know, all by
yourself eating these disgustingsnacks because you need a little
(17:16):
alone time because now you, you,you feel good going to bed
early.
Um, maybe you don't crash afterwork, you know, if, if you're
out all day.
And then just bouncing back fromthose like ridiculously
disgusting and frequent childillnesses that we all get
constantly, you know, just likeyou maybe only have that cold
for a day or two if you'restaying fit throughout the week.
Justin (17:36):
One of the things that you said around the smart goals
that really resonate with me isthe timebound.
one, my wife, she has, run andfinished, uh, at least one
marathon, I think two, in her,in her, in her life.
Now.
I have no desire to run amarathon ever, but she would,
You know, sign up for a race andthe race would be like six
(17:58):
months from now, or even threemonths from now.
And that would be her momentumor her kind of her incentive
because she was trying to trainfor this thing because the thing
is this date, so if you're notready, it's you're, it's gonna
hurt more if you don't trainnow.
Right.
And I've tried to do that too acouple times.
And even even that, like pullingthe proverbial tri trigger on
(18:21):
those things, like doing a mudrun or doing this or doing that,
like I've always been like,plan, plan, plan, plan, plan.
And then it gets to the end andI just don't sign up and I just
need to, I just need Right.
And I just need to get better atthat, for that like time bound.
Because I do think that if I hadlike a, a, goal I would want,
(18:41):
cuz I don't wanna embarrassmyself.
Right.
Like, so I would, I would wanna,you know, get ready for that.
Corey (18:47):
It's really tough because.
People have differentpersonalities, right?
So the things that hold oneperson accountable, someone
might not care about, you know?
And then someone else might beheld accountable in a different
way.
I have clients who, if theyweren't coming to me to train
two or three times a week, theywould not do anything else.
Justin (19:05):
So you're their, So you're their accountability,
like, I'm
Corey (19:08):
I'm their
Justin (19:08):
Corey, so I need to like do something today.
Corey (19:12):
And then I then I have other clients where I'm just a
piece of their overall healthand fitness and they do a lot of
these things on their own.
Um, but, but, but maybe they hadlike a health scare and that's
their accountability.
It's like them going to thedoctor and being like, my
numbers are good.
You know, I'm, I'm, I'm nolonger diabetic or like, I lost
all this weight and I'm gonnakeep it off because I'm, cuz I
wanna look good, but because thedoctor said X, Y, Z this is
(19:35):
what's going to happen if youdon't lose this weight.
So it's like everyone's comingfrom a, a, different standpoint
for their goals and what holdsthem accountable.
So it's like maybe setting thedate for you doesn't hold you
accountable.
Some, some people need to paymoney to feel like they're being
held accountable and it's just,it's really interesting like the
type of person or client orwhoever it is like what gets
(19:57):
them to do what they need to do.
Justin (19:59):
But it's not always about the time in the gym, it's
also about what you put on yourplate also, right?
Corey (20:06):
Yeah, definitely.
So another concerns besides, aconcern besides activity is just
eating healthy when you're lowon time.
So if you have crazy workschedule or if you don't, just
don't line up schedules withyour, with your spouse or
whatever it may be.
It's tough to do, but it's just,it's not impossible if you take
the right steps.
So some tips just for beingshort on time with meal prep or
things like that and stayinghealthy in your house are just
(20:28):
planning ahead.
So, I know these are easier saidthan done, um, but small steps,
like we were saying before,really help, you know, prepping
meals or even just small snacksin advance.
Uh, like if you have a few hourson the weekend, I.
Consider prepping a couple mealsin advance.
And it doesn't have to be forthe whole week.
It could just be for a coupledays just to get you started.
Um, it could just mean, youknow, grilling some extra
(20:49):
chicken for salads that youcould buy from the store, or
just roasting a ton of veggiesto add to protein throughout the
week.
So it doesn't have to be likefull blown meals.
it just ha has to be enough topiece things together.
Um, even just having groceriesdelivered or being able to pick
them up without having to walkaround the store, figure out
what to buy.
You know, you could sit there atnight, just do it on your
(21:09):
computer.
You could really plan it out alittle easier that way.
Um, and then going along withthat, just choosing quick and
easy recipes.
Uh, my wife and I, she's, she'sthe, the nutritional health nut
and I'm like the movement nutand she's very good at planning
her meals.
and they're always really short,easy res.
I do a lot of the cooking andit's nice to just have like a 20
(21:30):
minute recipe where it's threeor four parts.
You know, you're getting yourproteins, your fats, your, you
know, your healthy carbs, thingslike that.
Um, and then just some peoplehave a habit of skipping meals
and I think it's reallyimportant not to skip meals
because I think my biggest thingwith myself is I'll stay up late
sometimes and have snacksbecause I might skip breakfast
(21:50):
cuz I get my son to school oryou know, I'm running around
with my daughter or I'm just,you know, I'm putting them first
to have fun or whatever it maybe.
And I may skip breakfast lateron in the day.
I'm hungry, I stay up late.
So not only am I not gettingrest, but I am eating these
snacks that I shouldn't beeating because I had, there's no
food left in the house orwhatever it may be.
and something that I could justtouch on real quick too is
(22:11):
intermittent fasting.
So a lot of people talk aboutthis and I feel like they don't
necessarily understand it so Iwanna make a quick point about
it to say that there's nothingwrong with intermittent fasting,
but it is not at the end all orbe all of, of losing weight or,
you know, whatever your goalmight be.
it's just it's just helps youget into a.
Caloric deficit in order to loseweight.
It just limits the amount oftime where you're eating food.
(22:34):
So that doesn't mean you'reskipping meals, it's just
shortening the, time that youwill have to eat those meals
throughout the day.
Um, but it's not innately like afat burner or something that's
going to immediately help youlose weight, but it helps with
people who aren't hungry in themorning or may have crazy work
schedules.
Have you guys ever tried likeany different things like that,
(22:55):
intermittent fasting ordifferent diets that thought you
might help, at first and maybedidn't work so well or things
that were sustainable for you asfar as, uh, food shopping or
eating or anything like that
Bobby (23:06):
I used to do a bit of meal prepping.
Again, we talked about, Youknow, what you used to do versus
now.
Uh, I'm trying to get better atit and kinda like you said, do a
couple of easy things and thenjust put'em together in
different combinations to makeit present like a different
meal.
and my struggle again with thatis getting bored with it because
(23:30):
I don't.
Like doing the, the extraplanning.
like I know how to make a coupleof things and those are my
go-tos, but then, you know, Ineed to do a little bit more
research and think up some othermeals and do that extra cooking.
And I think that's just hard tolike add a couple other go-tos
to your wheelhouse as you go.
(23:50):
But as long as you can make thecommitment, that's really the
commitment for meal prepping iskind of like the consistency for
working out, I guess.
Justin (24:00):
For me, um, My wife does most of the cooking and we we
do, um, HelloFresh, So most of,and she tends to pick the, the,
um, the healthy ones.
so, so she makes sure that she'salways been a healthy eater And
so she makes sure we eathealthy.
But I haven't done like, uh, Adiet.
I've always been kind of dietaverse because, you know, you
(24:24):
there's just a lot of thingsthat people can go overboard
with, with calorie counting andthings like that.
So I, I'm, I've always been kindof diet averse I have a
different problem.
Typically, like I've always hadto work hard to gain muscle.
which it's just a differentproblem.
Like people, I mean, everyonehas a different body type and
(24:45):
body.
You know, Makeup and all thatkind of stuff.
So my mine's always been like Ihad to really try hard to gain
muscle.
Whereas, others have tried hardto lose.
so
Bobby (24:57):
I think it's all relevant, right?
I mean, It's difficult though.
I like, maybe 1% of people justhave like that crazy metabolism
where they're just like bothmuscular and fit and it seems
like they don't really I don'tknow.
Maybe they're doing a ton ofexercise and it doesn't seem
like they are.
Um, but.
Justin (25:15):
Well, to that point, I think, I think while the media
focuses on pressures women faceto con to conform to certain
beauty standards, I think it'simportant that men are immune to
that.
you know, research has shownthat the male body image
concerns are on the rise, andthat social media platforms like
Instagram could be contributingto that.
(25:35):
like on Instagram it'scompetency images of men with
these perfectly sculpted bodiesand chiseled abs and bulging
biceps and, you know, theseimages can cause like really
unrealistic expectations forwhat the male body has to look
like or should look like So,Leading dads and some men to
(25:58):
feel inadequate or insecureabout their bodies on the beach
or at the porch with theirfamilies.
So, you know, not to say thatthere aren't influencers and
fitness experts on Instagram andothers who are pro promoting,
you know, body positivity andencouraging men to embrace their
natural body shape.
But I think it's important toremember that there's really no
one right way to look in thateverybody's body is different
(26:22):
and ultimately the key, um, iscultivating a healthy body image
and prioritizing one's physicaland mental health over external
appearance.
You know, by focusing on thingslike strength, endurance,
overall wellbeing, rather thanjust looks we can, as dads
achieve a more kind of balancedAnd sustain approach to, fitness
(26:42):
and just live longer for ourchildren.
Right.
And I think that's really whatthe overall, um, what this is
really all about.
Corey (26:49):
Yeah, it's really, it's really crazy cuz bodies is
dysmorphia.
It is such a real thing, evenfor men and, you know,
regardless of where you werewhen you were younger or how you
feel now about your body, it's,you know, you're valid in
however you feel one way or theother.
And it's like, we go throughbody image all the time, just
like with what you, everythingyou just talked about.
And it's, to be able to talkabout it too is important
(27:11):
because if we're just sufferingin silence and, and, we don't
like who we are or how we feel,you know, how we feel,
throughout the day, you know,it's like having, having an
outlet to talk about it or eveneven getting someone who, who
wants to go to the gym with youor who, who is working with you
on these things is reallyimportant.
Just to have someone who, whounderstands where you're coming
from.
And I think that ties a lotinto, yeah, go ahead.
Justin (27:32):
I think I've, when I was working out with someone else,
that's when I've been in the, inkind of the best shape is when I
had like someone to either to goto the gym with or that was,
Keeping me accountable.
so even if you can find some,some dads in the area or some,
some folks to work out withthat's probably a, you know, a
good way to one build networkand, you know, maybe we can get
(27:56):
dads getting fit.
So we got dads getting coffeeand dads getting fit.
Corey (28:01):
It, it really ties into like, Fatherhood and fitness,
just being the, the mostchallenging balance that there
is.
You know, it's so important forus to prioritize our health and
wellness, but we also have to bepresent in our, our kids' lives,
right?
So if we're not setting that.
example, you know, they seeevery single thing we do.
So if we're showing them that wecare about our bodies and we, we
(28:21):
care about staying healthy andwe care about staying active,
they're gonna want to do thesame things.
And so for me, I think that wasone of the things I had the
biggest problem with.
And it was, mine was like a lotof guilt and just feeling like,
you know, if I didn't get right,right, home after work, you
know, they were missing out.
Or if I, you know, if I workout, if I spent too much time
outta the house right now, likeI'm not spending enough time
(28:42):
with my family.
And it was very, like, it felt,it didn't make much sense to me
at the time.
Like, I was like, why do I feelthis way?
I shouldn't feel guilty abouttaking care of myself.
But you know, other emotionstake over and then they turn
into excuses and it's reallyhard, like easy to, to fall
away.
So in those times where I'mfeeling, you know, guilty or
whatever it is, I try to.
Make fitness a part of the everyday with my kids.
(29:04):
So not necessarily saying I needto work out, you know, five
times a week or whatever it maybe.
It's like, for me it's juststaying active every day.
It's doing something or anactivity every day, even if it
involves my kids.
So sometimes that means, youknow, running around the house,
like race cars with my son orgoing to the park, kicking the
ball around.
Maybe we'll just, I'll take awalk with my daughter while my
(29:24):
son's at school, or I'll, youknow, while he's learning how to
ride his bike, I'll chase afterhim.
It's just involving them in away to stay active where if I
don't have time for thatconventional workout, quote
unquote, at least I can sustainsome level of confidence that
I'm at the very least doingsomething for my body.
Um, Bobby, what are some ways,that you've bounced your newborn
(29:46):
responsibilities and then yourown health?
Bobby (29:49):
Uh, well, to be honest, I haven't, I am, you know, only a
couple months in and I ha I amprone to going through, you
know, periods of time where I'mvery consistent and like working
out and then fall off and thingskind of start.
Start to not feel as well.
(30:09):
And then I get back on it, uh,with becoming a dad, you know,
there's just way less time theday, to be honest.
I feel like it's a struggle justto find like the ability to
shower consistently.
Uh, so like if that's where I'mat with just like my own, the
working out part has also notreally been getting put
(30:33):
together.
and for various reasons I.
Need things to, like, I likethings, everything that go to
plan, as I said, uh, there'sless time I need to make the
commitment to get up in themorning.
So I am a morning person, butwhat I struggle with is because
I'm a morning person, that'swhere my best energy is.
And if I get up and do a workoutand then go to work, and I get
(30:57):
in at like eight o'clock.
Eight o'clock is a normal hourfor most people, but by eight
o'clock I usually have like abunch of stuff done.
And I feel like I've given mybest energy to, working out and
not to my career.
And then I like second guesslike how I'm feeling by the time
we get to noon, one o'clock.
And that's a, that's difficult.
I think just getting up,committing to that 5:00 AM
(31:18):
workout to do it is difficult.
Uh,
Corey (31:22):
Like right now, that's, that's, not the, not as possible
as it once was because of allthe new responsibilities.
Bobby (31:28):
Yeah, and I, I, I'm a very big people pleaser.
I give a lot of my energy to, Ithink, trying to take care of
everything else.
And with a child it's maybeunhealthy that like, I need to
actually carve maybe just a fewmore minutes out.
For myself, um, but I'm mostlydevoting may, maybe too much of
(31:53):
my energy to making sureeverything else and everybody
else is taken care of and needto focus, like be a little bit
selfish and try to find thattime for myself.
one way or another.
So it's just really finding thatbalance.
and it's not easy.
So, you know, I'm being honest,it might take a few months, uh,
Like I've started the lastcouple weeks with going back to
(32:13):
work, starting with the mealprepping,
Corey (32:16):
Mm-hmm.
Bobby (32:16):
I'm trying to make a couple of healthy things so that
I can at least feel good aboutwhat I'm eating and how, like
throughout the day and slowlybuild in more good habits.
And, you know, I've been maybeworking out once a week and just
trying to slowly find a way to.
Commit to it and get to it moreoften.
So we talked last week aboutdoing the family, sit down
(32:39):
meeting and what is everythingthat we need to do this week?
My wife and I did that this pastweek for our first one, and we
put on there what days we weregonna work out so that we could
try to support each other
Corey (32:49):
That's awesome.
Bobby (32:50):
schedule.
So, uh, yeah, that was, it'sgreat.
Planned, but like, we've justmissed that.
Like one morning, like we had adoctor's appointment the other
morning I signed up for, I'mworking from home.
So very quickly I was like, oh,my three days just went to one
and like, need to maybe, planjust a little bit better.
But
Corey (33:09):
Is.
yeah,
Bobby (33:10):
sure that's not the answer you want to hear.
Like, Hey, how are you doing
Corey (33:13):
No, I mean, but it's real it's real.
Bobby (33:15):
like, that's what I'm going through.
And I think a lot of people willalso
Corey (33:19):
I feel like it's so common, the whole putting,
putting everyone first thing,and we have to realize like
stepping out for an hour orwhatever it may be.
Everyone's got it.
Everyone's gonna be fine.
you know, like everyone willjust like, you go to work for X
amount of hours, you know, andeveryone's fine.
You work out for an hour, youspend a little time on yourself.
It's like they, we will be okay,you know, without you for that
(33:40):
amount of time.
It's just striking that balance,you know?
It's like, it's an ongoingprocess, no matter how you look
at it.
Bobby (33:46):
as much as I don't want to do this because I am more of
a morning person, I may have toreconsider finding the time at
night.
I really struggle with doinganything after I've eaten
dinner, basically, once I'veeaten dinner.
There's no physical activity.
For whatever reason I've likeassociated that with, I have too
much in my stomach and I'm notlike doing burpees or picking
(34:10):
things up and putting'em down ordoing like a bike ride or
anything.
Uh, but maybe I need to get overthat and realize it's not as bad
as I think because that'sprobably where the most amount
of my time that's available is.
Corey (34:27):
Right, But at that point you're, you're, you know, you're
tired from the day and goingthrough war at work and helping,
you know, doing, doing whateveryou need to do for your baby.
And the end of the day comeswhen you were supposedly going
to do the workout and it's like,you know, you are, you deserve
rest too.
You know, so it's
Bobby (34:42):
Yeah.
Corey (34:43):
taking advantage of the days where you got a little bit
of energy in you.
Bobby (34:47):
Mm-hmm.
Corey (34:47):
How about you, Justin?
Justin (34:49):
Like I said kind of earlier, it, for me, it all
falls apart when I travel.
Um, and I haven't quite figuredthat I haven't cracked that nut.
I haven't figured out how tostay active while I'm traveling.
Cuz usually there's like dinnersand, and just, you're just out
kind of late when you're, whenyou're traveling and not home.
but just today I was putting,um, I was putting my son to
(35:10):
sleep and before I put him tosleep, like he wanted, you know,
dad's love to rough house beforesleep.
Like the, the stereotype as momsare like calming and they want
to like do the sleepy time.
I'm like, let's wrestle.
Bobby (35:24):
from
Corey (35:24):
Get to get that energy out.
Get the energy out before
Justin (35:27):
So that's what we were doing, to my wife's dismay and,
I was like, um, you know, quoteunquote bench pressing my five,
my five year old.
So, right.
Like, listen, if you, if that'swhat you can get in for the day,
get that in for the day.
Like, if you need to curl yourthree-year-old, curl your
three-year-old, you know,
Corey (35:46):
Movement
Justin (35:47):
mo, right?
Movement is movement.
So I, sometimes when I don'tfeel like I'm gonna get a, a
workout in, I use them as aworkout.
Like, I'm like, all right, geton my back and I'll do a plank
and we'll see how long I canhold that plank.
And if that's the workout I getin today, that's the workout I
get in today.
So I would say to other dads,you know, take what you can get.
(36:08):
Really just take what you canget even when you're with your
small child.
um, doing squats will make themdie laughing.
So you're holding them and youdecide that you're gonna do 25
squats.
Like do it.
Do it.
And if that's all you get intoday, then great, but at least
you did something, and you canfeel good about yourself.
And then maybe tomorrow you cando 30 and maybe you'll end up
(36:30):
like going for a walk and youknow, just start kind of that
bread, chma pot approach ofgetting some, some activity in.
Corey (36:37):
Yeah, we have to remember, we have like a ton of
roles.
We have our work selves, ourpartner selves, our father
selves.
It's just like we have to givetime to all of them.
And it doesn't always have to beequal, but we do have to fit
ourselves in bear too, you know?
And you know you're gonna misssome meals, you're gonna miss
workouts, you might snack alittle too hard, you might stay
(36:57):
up a little late and unwind.
But things will change.
You know, you will findopportunity and it's just, you
know, a matter of takingadvantage of those opportunities
when you can.
And as long as like you keepmoving the needle in any
direction, as long as you cankeep going a little bit by
little bit, you know, we cantake the dad bod if you don't
wanna stick with the dad bod andturn it into, you know, a father
(37:19):
figure.
Bobby (37:21):
I was gonna ask you guys if you ever noticed, like, your
dad's strength at work.
So Justin, you a, you had a goodexample where you kind of
manufactured some, roughhousingand doing some workouts with
curling, a bench, pressing yourkids, stuff like that.
but have you ever just beendoing something that required.
(37:41):
You to like carry the childrenthrough the airport or
something, and you're like,there's no way that you could,
like if you had given me akettlebell and said, you have to
go that far with it.
I could never have done afarmer's carry with the kids or
with that weight, but because Iwas a dad in the moment, I had
to do it.
it just like as, yeah, as muchas like my shoulders were
killing me.
(38:02):
Like, have you ever had an exam?
You have anybody have an examplelike that come to the top of
your head?
Corey (38:05):
There's been times where I'm at, like, you know, picking,
picking up medicine at thepharmacy and it's right around
nap time and everyone's freakingout and I'm holding my daughter
cuz I don't want her run aroundthe store like a maniac.
And then my son starts having aconniption about wanting to go
home and I'll hold them bothfor, you know, a half hour.
And I'm like, how am I holdingthese kids for so long?
But it's like, I don't want themto break down emotionally, so
(38:28):
it's like I will hold on for aslong as possible until we get
this prescription and then I'mgetting outta this store as fast
as possible.
Justin (38:33):
Yeah, mine would be the car seat.
Like, first of all, know how tohold your car seat.
You should not be holding thecar seat, like from, you should
be like putting your whole armthrough it, but like holding the
car seat for more than sixminutes.
Bobby (38:49):
I haven't figured that out.
The, the car seat hold.
I've seen it and then I'vetried, like what, you're
describing, where like youdon't.
hold it by the handle with yourgrip, but you go arm through and
then like cut the bottom of it.
Justin (39:00):
Yes.
That is the, that
Bobby (39:02):
it on,
Justin (39:03):
that's the way
Corey (39:04):
It sits on your elbow and then your hand cups the end of
it.
Yeah.
Bobby (39:07):
I've tried it and I can't figure it out.
I, I, all right, I'll, I'll keeptrying, but continue.
Corey (39:12):
I feel like if anything took over when I became a dad,
was the reflexes that really hasbeen a, a thing that's, it's,
that has surfaced my dad,reflexes have been unreal
between like catching mydaughter when she flies off the
couch or if the chair is tippingover or if they knock something
out of a cabinet.
It's like I will be catching allof those things.
Justin (39:31):
do you ever try to see if you have like the Spidey,
like do you go And see if it'sgonna come out
Corey (39:38):
I look at my hand like, go, there you go.
I have the power.
Oh my God.
Bobby (39:46):
to admit it, but I don't think I got the reflex part.
Maybe it develops a little bitslower or what,
Corey (39:51):
I think it does.
Bobby (39:52):
but I just have this, I don't.
I've spent too much time withadults.
Clearly, I just believe thatkids know better than to do
things and I don't have thatsense to like think like, oh,
they don't know what they'reabout to do and then like catch
it.
So for instance, I was visitingJustin and his family this
(40:13):
weekend.
We did a backyard camping.
He probably doesn't even knowthis.
We did backyard camping and weroasted some s'mores and I.
Got my marshmallow on fire and Ilike brought it back and blew
the fire off.
And then I was trying to pickthe black part that burned off
the marshmallow.
And his son, who I'm teachingthe Romal Rose marshmallows, saw
(40:35):
me do it, did the same thing,and touched the tip of it for
like fraction of a second.
And he, he like jumped back andwas like, I think he got like a
little burn, micro burnsomething.
Maybe there's a little spot inhis finger.
You gotta jack, but.
I was like, I should havethought to
Justin (40:52):
left this part out.
This is, I'm, I'm
Bobby (40:54):
the fire transfers
Corey (40:56):
is terrible.
Bobby (40:57):
metal poker and that you can't touch it.
And it's just like, in my headI'm like, everybody knows better
than to touch the metal part,
Justin (41:03):
I'm learning of this burn child in the moment.
Corey (41:06):
Wow.
You just have to assume thatthey're going to get hurt at
least five minutes earlier thanit happens, and then just
prevent it from happening.
Justin (41:13):
I'm gonna wait for my wife to hear about it when she
listens to the episode.
I'm not gonna leave this roomand tell her.
I'm just gonna wait for her tohear when she listens, and if
she doesn't listen, I'll know
Bobby (41:25):
I mean, I mean, if it's been a week almost at this
point, I'm sure he is.
Justin (41:28):
He's fine.
He's fine.
Bobby (41:30):
my example for the strength part though is we are
always, I'm always trying tolike rock her to sleep.
and I just think to myself likeit goes forever.
and as soon as you stop, shestarts like peeking, like
opening her eyes.
I just think like I can do this.
It feels like forever, but ifthis were a bowling ball or some
other weight, I'm like, there'sno way I'd be able to do it.
It's just like, but because I,This is, what is needed.
(41:53):
this.
is the job I'm, I think I can doit indefinitely.
Corey (41:56):
I, was thinking too, like with the whole, like, you,
you're always holding your kidin one hand, right?
And you're doing something withthe other.
And you know, I, I used to gettension headaches like crazy
because I would just be holdingmy kid all the time.
And then I would think tomyself, oh, what do I teach my
clients?
It's like, all right, posture,keep your, you know, keep your
shoulders down, take a breath,you know, make sure you're
breathing, not holding yourbreath while you're doing
certain things like uncUnclench, the jaw, all those
(42:17):
like, easy things.
But if you realize, like, evenright now, I'm, I'm sitting up,
I got my shoulders up in myears.
It's like, just, you know, takea breath, roll'em back.
Sometimes it helps just to like,relax when you're holding your
kid.
Get into a good posture to doit.
Justin (42:30):
Right.
Bobby (42:31):
Yeah, you have to meditate sometimes, like close
your eyes and just like take adeep breath and just like zone
out.
Corey (42:38):
Like when you're rocking them to sleep for, for like an
hour, it's like, wow, I reallyneed to change how I'm standing
because this is just, it'seither like, I'm gonna put them
down, get a rest, but then I'mgonna start crying again, or I
can push through this andreally, really improve my
endurance of holding a baby foran hour on end.
Justin (42:52):
Well, thanks Corey for sharing your expertise in
shedding light on the dad bodversus father figure debate.
It's clear that there's a lot ofmisconceptions out there, but
the most important thing is fordads to prioritize their health
and fitness in a way that worksfor them and their families.
So before we wrap up, Today'sepisode, let's take a few
minutes for our hot Takessegment.
(43:13):
These are the things that wecan't stop thinking about from
the week, parenting orotherwise.
Uh, but before we jump into ourhot takes, I just wanted to
leave you, just reiterate what Isaid earlier.
Don't get caught up in theimages of Instagram and other
social media platforms.
While these platforms can begreat for connecting, and
finding inspiration, they canalso create unrealistic
expectations and make us feellike we're not good enough.
(43:34):
also, if you're new to workingout or to fitness, do so with
someone that can make sure thatyou're doing it with the correct
form so you don't have anyinjuries.
Um, there's a lot on Instagramaround do these five workouts or
do these five things, and if youdon't have someone, trained, um,
who has done this forever, likeCorey helping you out, there's
really an opportunity to getinjured if you're, if you're
(43:55):
trying to go too, too far, toofast.
And so, Focus on living yourfittest life in a way that works
for you.
Whether that means going on arun with your kids, hitting the
gym, or simply taking a walkaround the block, every little
bit counts.
And remember, fitness is morethan just about appearance.
It's about feeling strong,healthy, and confident in your
own skin.
And, and as co said, don'tforget to set smart goals and
(44:18):
stay committed to them bysetting specific, measurable,
achievable, relevant andtime-bound goals.
You can create a roadmap to helpyou achieve whatever your
fitness aspirations are.
Uh, so make to make sure youstay focused and stay at it even
when it gets tough.
So let's dive in into our hottakes.
Corey, why don't you go first?
Corey (44:38):
So my hot take, I feel like a lot of our hot takes can
also be brewed wisdom, but, myhot take is about reward
systems.
So I think reward systems are agood thing and I, I think
there's a lot of people outthere who think reward systems
might make, their their kidlazy.
You know, they, they do thething to get the reward and then
they stop doing that thing.
But I think you have to keepthose rewards going to a certain
(45:02):
point.
So right now we're doing areward system for our sons
staying in bed.
So,
Justin (45:06):
Hmm.
Corey (45:06):
He had a lot of, he had a hard time staying in bed because
he went from having a joint roomwith his sister to having his
own room.
And you know, it was differentlighting.
We themed it with space stuff.
There's stars on the ceiling,but we were, we're downstairs
now.
So he was a little freaked outby that.
He would come down a lot.
So we said, you stay in your bedfive nights in a row and you
(45:27):
will get, you know, X toy thatyou want.
So he did it first five nights,not a problem.
He said, dad, this is prettyeasy.
So, the next night we're like,well, what are we gonna do now?
He did pretty good the nextcouple nights and we saw that he
might have been falling off ofit a little bit.
So we said, all right, we'regonna try seven nights now, and
then you can get another smallthing.
And I think we're going to justslowly increase that number, but
(45:50):
exponentially.
So it's not like too often he'sgetting a reward, but just to
create.
It's like a good catalyst tocreate good habits.
So that plays right along withwhat we talked about today.
It's like you could rewardyourself for these small little
goals that you're, that you'rehitting.
You know, it's like, okay, you,you hit a couple, you know,
days, days a week for a fewweeks of working out.
(46:11):
Maybe you go get ice cream withthe kids that that's okay to do.
You know, you're not gonna falloff because of that, and then
you get right back to it.
That kind of thing.
Just small reward forconsistency.
Justin (46:21):
The one reward caution I will give, um, dads cuz I've
fallen into this, is like, don'tbuild an entitlement.
Because if you, if like you,give a treat after they eat
their dinner, then it becomesthe treat entitlement.
And that's something that I.
Struggle with in my own house isthe treat entitlement.
And I'm like, you aren't gettinga treat today because not you,
(46:42):
maybe you ate your dinner, butyou were, uh, not a nice person
the rest of the day, so maybeyou're not getting a treat.
So I
Corey (46:49):
That's very quick satisfaction.
Justin (46:50):
right, like the whole treat entitlement thing gets on
my nerves.
So I agree with a reward system.
We did one with, both of my kidsfor potty training.
It worked better for one thanthe other, but you know, if it
worked for you to, to getsomething, um, then do it.
Just beware of the entitlementthat it might come with.
Corey (47:08):
Right.
Do it the right way, like overtime.
Justin (47:10):
Right.
Right.
Bobby (47:12):
Is that the main concern?
So I was gonna ask, because Ihave heard other parents say
that you know, for whatever,reason, their opinion is not to
I guess maybe they can theydon't like, the idea of it being
a bribe.
maybe that's like the key word,that they think that they don't
want to do any sort of, youknow, whether it's behavioral
(47:32):
or, you know, you said pottytraining or whatever else that
you're trying to incentivize.
Corey (47:38):
I think it's about being firm with it too, because a lot
of people may set up a rewardsystem and then they really help
their kid get there by, by beingvery, you know, they're very
lenient about it, and it's like,if, if you don't do one night,
we start over.
You know?
It's not like you're justgetting it no matter what.
After those five days, sevendays, whatever it is, it's like,
all right, if we, if one slip upand we're right back to where we
(48:00):
started, that kind of thing.
So it's like they, they realizethat it, it, it does matter.
There is accountability to it aswell.
Justin (48:06):
I think it's nuance.
I think we could probably do awhole episode on the, on the, on
the reward system
Bobby (48:13):
I know that we're adults and things are different and you
know, I guess, you know, howevermight impact their psychology or
whatever, but all I can relateto it is thinking there.
Are people in my company whotheir whole job is to create the
rewards that keep me there,right?
So like I think most people whowork an office job like can be
(48:35):
honest and say like, there'scertain perks of their job,
maybe benefits or whatever elsethat might help them get
Corey (48:43):
Everyone needs a little something, something for their
efforts.
Bobby (48:45):
like, you know, if that's how most people respond, then
like it doesn't make anydifference.
But I'll.
Let it go.
Justin (48:51):
Bobby, what's your hot take for today?
Bobby (48:53):
My hot take is probably more a what grinds my gears type
of scenario.
And it might be one of the firstchanges in technology that I'm
really starting to struggle withthan gonna be like an old man
yelling at clouds type scenariowith.
I hate.
How fast we've transitioned fromU S B to U s bbc and we get all
(49:16):
these products too that now arestarting to come with the u s
bbc.
But they don't have the adapterto like a wall plug or to be a
regular u sb.
And I've just gone through theprocess of changing out like
certain outlets in my house sothat like I've got, I thought I
was getting with the timebasically, and I have outlets
that have your standard plug andthen also a U S B part.
Justin (49:38):
Mm-hmm.
Bobby (49:39):
In strategic locations because then you don't need like
the wall adapter part and youcan just plug USB directly into
it.
And now everything is u s BBCand companies aren't giving me
the adapter for either of those.
And it's a problem and it justmakes me insane.
Like if you're gonna make theproduct with u s bbc, then it
has to, like somebody inWashington, make it a law.
(49:59):
It has to have the
Justin (50:00):
Somebody in Washington,
Corey (50:03):
This is definitely, it grinds my gears.
Bobby (50:05):
It makes me so mad.
Cause I'm like, great.
Like now I have all of thesegreat u regular USBs and regular
outlets that I have not, like Ihave to go buy another adapter
to figure out how I'm gonnacharge this, this thing.
So, yep.
everybody will find out when youstart buying a bunch of like,
New products for like a childand they all have changed to
(50:26):
this and you have nothing to,there's no way to plug it into
your house.
Justin (50:31):
So in, in some cases, like the old U usb, so the us
what was the usb?
Before the U us bbc, like therewas like, um, something else
Bobby (50:40):
Yeah, I think they
Corey (50:40):
I don't know about any of, I don't know about any of
this, so I'm very like, I'm justlistening for this.
Justin (50:46):
So there used to be like, my kids have Amazon
tablets or whatever, and they,whatever came before the u s
bbc, like it would always break.
Like whatever that connector waswould just break.
And I was like, oh, I hate thesethings.
Um, so the argument for the u sBBC is because like Amazon has
(51:06):
changed all their, they're,they're sturdier, um, than
whatever their predecessor was.
Corey (51:12):
Hmm.
Justin (51:12):
Bobby's furiously googling what the predecessor of
U S BBC is.
So my hot take, um, I gotta behonest, we didn't get a ton of
votes on our TV show episode interms of who won.
So we have
Corey (51:27):
I guess they felt bad voting for me so much that they,
that they had to.
Justin (51:31):
Yes, yes.
And, but fatherly.com released a100 best kids TV shows
Corey (51:40):
Are you kidding me?
Justin (51:41):
just serendipitously.
I just wanna point out thatnumber one was Mr.
Rogers neighborhood.
Number two was Sesame Street.
Number 10 was Octo Knots, andnumber 15 was Daniel Tiger's
neighborhood.
So by virtue of this, um,
Corey (52:00):
This is for 2023.
Justin (52:01):
is for 2023, it was a hundred best TV shows.
And so by virtue of this highly.
respected platform that hasgiven their takes on a hundred
best TV shows.
I clearly won because more of myshows were in the top 10.
That's my hot take,
Corey (52:19):
That's really interesting.
I mean, it's just an opinionpiece, you know?
It's just an opinion.
Justin (52:23):
So if you haven't listened to our previous
episode, go ahead and do that.
But I'm, I'm just saying, so,um, you know, this is a debate
to have another day.
I, I guess, but, you know, Ithink I have a strong argument
for, for being the strongest, TVwatcher of the group, I would
assume.
But, um, that's all the time wehave for today's episode of
(52:46):
Dad's Getting Coffee.
As always, fellas, it was niceunpacking another relevant and
important topic on this journeycalled fatherhood.
Feel free to visit Corey'swebsite, self-sufficient fit.com
for a free two week parent hackworkout that incorporates your
kids and household items into anefficient training program to
keep you active as a family toall you parents or aspiring
(53:07):
parents out there.
Thanks for listening.
We hope you enjoyed ourconversation.
If you did, please leave us afive-star review on your
favorite podcast app.
It really helps us reach morelisteners like you and grow our
community.
And if you wanna stay up to datewith the latest episodes and
news from Dad's getting coffee,be sure to follow us on social
media.
You can find us on Instagram atDad's Getting Coffee podcast.
We'd love hearing from you.
(53:28):
If you're in the northern NewJersey area, you can uh, find us
meeting up in person by emailingus at Dads getting
coffee@gmail.com.
Thanks again for tuning in.
We'll be back next week withanother episode of Dads Getting
Coffee.
Until then, keep on brewing andkeep on Dad.
And remember, being a dad isn'teasy, but it's worth it.
Corey (53:45):
Thanks guys.
Justin (53:45):
There you go.
It's been fun.
Declan (53:48):
Dad's Getting Coffee.
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