The Dangerous Game of Hazel and Jesse | Pt II: Episode 12

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome back to Vanishing Shadows. Ifyou want to listen to the entire part
two of this season, subscribe onApple Podcast and get the entirety of part
two. In the last episode,did she follow you here? Oh my
god? The fear on my facemust have looked genuine, because Laurie continued,

(00:22):
she could be scoping out homes inyour neighborhood. Or she could be
deranged. I never thought of that. Concern fluttered across my face. They
clocked it, just like I wantedthem to. You should call the police,
Laurie said. Vanessa added, becareful, Hazel. You can't be

(00:45):
friends with someone like that. Wehugged efficiently and went our separate ways.
I was delighted to tell Jessie howI'd played the chance encounter with Lee.
He nodded appreciatively as I recounted LorieGamble's concerns, Vanessa Vega's warnings. Quick

(01:07):
thinking, he said, pulling mein for a kiss. We were nestled
on his charcoal couch. I wassupposed to be asking restaurants for gift certificates
right now, but I'd driven straightto Jesse's apartment. We hadn't had time
to be intimate lately, and Iknew it was important. I knew I
had to please my man. Doesshe have your phone number, Jesse asked,

(01:32):
touching the ends of my hair.No, why we're building a case
against her, Hazel. She's approachedyou in public. She's got that Japanese
ornament thing. It would be goodif she called you a bunch of times,
right, I said, Ral furrowed. I'll think of something, and

(01:56):
we need to get her into thehouse on the day, the day of
the murder, he meant. Iswallowed thickly. I'll figure that out.
The knife would be the clincher.You'll have to get it out of her
car so I can use it.He sounded so efficient, so business like,

(02:16):
almost like he'd done this before.I felt a heavy weight on my
chest, struggled to respond, Okay, that's my girl. He tilted my
chin so our eyes could connect,and there was warmth in his It'll all
be worth it, Hazel, whenwe're together for real, when Benjamin can't

(02:42):
hurt you any more, I know, I said, and I tried to
believe it. The next morning,Lee didn't come to the beach. Perhaps
she'd found a new spot to parkor she'd gone to a shelter. But
when she didn't return the next dayor the day after that, I began

(03:05):
to worry. I'd hurt her,embarrassed her, I'd chased her away.
She's gone, I told Jesse.We were at the gem. He was
supervising my dead lifts while we talkedin hushed voices. I fucked it all
up. She's not gone, hesaid, I'll bring her back. Really,

(03:30):
you can do that, he smarked, pleased with himself. She'll do
anything I say. She's falling forme. I know my words were bitter
in my mouth. She told me, don't be jealous, he said,
playfully, I'm doing this for you. It was true. Anything he did

(03:54):
with Lee was in service to ourplan. He was sending this woman to
jail to free me from my abusivemarriage. I couldn't be jealous, So
what was this feeling twisting in myguts? I tried to keep my voice
level as I asked, are yousleeping with her? Of course not,

(04:17):
he snapped, don't be so stupid. Look, I dropped the weight and
stood Upright, this doesn't feel goodor right? Can we just go back
to the original plan, get aboat and leave the country. A muscle
clenched in Jesse's jaw irritation frustration.Without a word, he strode to the

(04:41):
back of the gem and out theexit obediently. I trailed after him.
When we were alone in the staffparking lot, he turned on me.
Don't fuck this up, Hazel.We've come too far. I can get
some money, I told him,enough to start over in a new country
where things are cheaper. Why wouldwe do that when we can live here

(05:08):
in perfect luxury, in a fuckingmansion with art and fancy cars and shit.
I don't care about any of that, I said. I just want
us to be together, So doI, he said, his voice softening.
But the original plan won't work.I've looked into it, and something

(05:30):
like eighty five percent of drowning victimsare found, or at least parts of
them are found. Benjamin won't believeyou're dead without a body, and if
he thinks you've run off, he'llnever stop looking for you. And my
husband's line of work, he'd knowhow unlikely it was that my body would
drift away, disappear, and hewould hunt me down. He'd never give

(05:57):
up if he suspects you betray him. He'll kick your mom out of the
nursing home. That hopeless, panickyfeeling was returning. Tears welled in my
eyes, clogged my throat. Thisis the only way, Hazel, but
Lee, I croaked collateral damage,He said, all that matters to me

(06:23):
is you and us. He feltnothing for her, less than nothing.
I should have felt comforted, butI didn't. What time does Benjamin get
home on Friday? My stomach dropped. We were setting a date. He

(06:44):
girlfs on Fridays. He comes homeat noon to change and get his clubs.
Friday at noon, I'll be waitingfor him. I nodded mutely.
It didn't feel real. And Leebe at the beach tomorrow, he assured
me. Be ready. He wentback inside, leaving me alone in the

(07:08):
alley. I baked scones that night, peach and brown butter, and I
plodded, worried, wondered. IfLee showed up, it meant Jesse had
power over her, that she wasemotionally, if not physically, involved with
him. He'd assured me that theyweren't intimate, But then how else had

(07:30):
he cast such a spell on her? He and I rarely had sex anymore,
there was no time we were underso much stress. I told myself
it was normal, But was it. Jesse was a passionate sexual man.
Was he having those needs met elsewhere? I shook off my petty jealousies.

(07:53):
They would only get in the way. My focus had to be on Lee,
on wheedling my way back into hergood graces. No woman could resist
a spot, eh, especially awoman in her situation. I'd pay for
her to be primped and pampered.I'd ask my stylist Carl to cut her
hair, make it look like mine, and then I'd suggest she'd enter my

(08:18):
house and fool the cameras. Butshe'd do that for me. It would
be terrifying for her. Lee knewmy husband was violent, but if I
offered her money and new identification,she might just go through with it.
Benjamin kept his golf clubs in thecloset in his study. There were no

(08:41):
cameras in that room. That's whereJessie would do it. Lee wouldn't even
go in there. She'd be sparedthe blood and gore. She wouldn't even
know my husband was dead, stabbedwith her own knife until the police came
to arrest her. The thought mademe double over when I worried I might
be sick. But I pulled ittogether, righted myself, pushed the noxious

(09:07):
guilt away. I directed my memoryto Jesse's assurances that Lee would be okay,
even cared for, that she wouldget the help she needed, and
I set my mind on that bubbleof hope, of anticipation. Finally I
would be free to be with Jesse, the man I loved. The next

(09:33):
morning, she was there, asJesse had promised, she would be.
My feet crunched on the loose rocks. As I approached the car and tapped
gently on the window. She openedher eyes and they were cold when she
recognized me. But she climbed outof the car, slowly, in pain,

(09:54):
like she always was. In themorning. I begged her for forgiveness,
begged as I served her fresh bakedscones and coffee. I told her
how I'd panicked when I saw heron the street. Vanessa and Laurie are
shallow and judgmental, I said,if I'd introduced you as my friend,

(10:15):
word could have got back to Benjamin. He controls all my friendships. He
wouldn't let me see you. Iwatched her soften Fear and desperation can make
you do terrible things. I shouldknow, she said, I betrayed my
only sister, and she'll never forgiveme. I listened, features composed in

(10:39):
sympathy, as she told me howshe'd photographed her sister's fiance, how she'd
attempted to extort money out of him. It was a shitty thing to do,
but it seemed so trivial compared tomy plot against her. You were
under so much pressure, I said, gently, can't she understand that?

(11:03):
But Teresa hated Lee. Teresa hadgone through with the wedding despite the cheating.
The family had taken her side.I realized how lonely was then.
She had no one except Jesse andme. Let me take you for a
spa day, I said, asshe blinked her tears away. Massage,

(11:24):
facial haircut, the works on me. I couldn't, she said, but
she wanted to. I could tell, so I pressed, when's your next
day off? Thursday? I'll bookeverything and meet you there at ten.
Sound good? Her face was glowingwith anticipation. Sounds amazing, And then

(11:52):
I saw an opportunity. Give meyour phone. It was a casual request,
but she looked slightly awkward, andwhen she handed me a cheap flip
phone, I saw why, butI didn't comment as I added my name
and number to her contacts or evidenceagainst her, because I denied doing this

(12:16):
would tell the cops. I hadno idea how she got my number.
She was a stalker, a psychocall me? I said, if anything
comes up, what about Benjamin?Won't he want to know who's calling you.
I'm not allowed to have my phoneon when he's home. It was
the truth. I stood to go. I'll book a massage, haircut Manny

(12:41):
Petty? Could you book me abikini wax? Her chuckle was self deprecating,
her cheeks pink. It's been awhile. Did this mean Jessee was
sleeping with her, that he abliedto me? Or was Lee planning your
grand seduction? I felt my jawclench, but I kept my tone light,

(13:03):
teasing. I thought you and thatguy were just friends, were more
than that. Now she looked down, but she couldn't hide her smile.
They were lovers. It was inher voice and on her face. Jealousy
churned my stomach, sent a sicktaste into my throat. Jesse had lied

(13:28):
to me he had cheated on me. The infidelity hurt more than any of
Benjamin's physical abuse. But when Ilooked at Lee, I felt something else,
self loathing because I hated what wewere doing to her, how we
were playing her, and pity.She was as desperate to feel loved as

(13:52):
I was. Part of me wantedto tell her to run, to leave
and never come back, to stayaway from Jesse, but she would never
listen to me. She'd go straightto Jesse and tell him everything I said,
and I would lose him, mylifeline, my only chance to get

(14:13):
away. It was her or me. I'm happy for you, I said,
and it sounded sincere, but Iturned to go before my facade slipped.
See you tomorrow. I'll bring rhubarbmuffins. Jesse and I sat on

(14:33):
his sofa, our knees touching,our fingers intertwined. It was essential that
he didn't sense the shift in me, the hurt, the summering sense of
betrayal, and the doubt. AfterI'd left Lee at the beach, I'd
replayed her admission over again in mymind. I believed her she and Jessie

(14:56):
were sleeping together. You couldn't fakethe emotion I'd seen on Lee's face,
and she had no reason to lieto me. Jesse, on the other
hand, did. At that moment, Lee was at the spa, getting
her hair cut, her bikini linewaxed, her tension massaged away. She'd

(15:16):
be reveling in her treatments, trustingin the altruism of my gift. There
was no way she could imagine whatwas in store for her that tomorrow.
It would all be over if Iwas able to go through with it.
What time will Benjamin go home,Jesse asked. I sat up straighter,

(15:37):
focused on our plan. He comeshome at noon changes and leaves by twelve
thirty, only to be inside waitingby eleven thirty. I'll disable the back
door cameras and unlock the door.I had thought this through, step by
step. Come up from the beach. No one will see you. I

(16:00):
will make sure you're long gone.Of course, Lee needs to arrive at
one. It'll be done by then. The coldness in his voice sent a
chill through me. How will youget her into the house. My mind
had explored a multitude of ways tolure my friend into my home. I

(16:21):
was sure I had figured it out. I'm going to tell her I just
need a head start to get tothe airport. She only needs to come
inside for an hour. She'll beperfectly safe. And do you think she'll
do it? I'll promise to leaveher money and new I d how much
money? A hundred grand? Maybeit has to be an incentive. Make

(16:45):
it fifty. It's more realistic,and it's still a lot o money for
some one like her. Right,the figure didn't matter. It was just
bait. And you need to gether knife. How I was beginning to
feel panicky, overwhelmed. I don'tknow how to break into a car.

(17:06):
Calm down, he scolded me.She's coming to my place tonight. I'll
get the keys and toss them outthe side window. You can get the
knife and put the keys in thebushes near the front door. She'll think
she'd dropped them. They had adate pre arranged, Lee and her bikini
wax. The information was like asore. I couldn't stop picking at.

(17:32):
She told me she's sleeping with you. She wishes, he snorted, pulling
his hands from mine. I'd appreciatethe truth, Jessee, of course,
I'm not fucking her. His toneand his eyes were hard and I can't
believe you'd take the word of thatbomb over mine. She's a drunk,

(17:53):
she's a mess. I had givenhim a chance to come clean, and
he had chosen to lie, toattack Lee's character and credibility. It was
so easy for him, so natural. I swallowed the sick feeling in my
stomach. Okay, I said,softly, I believe you good. He

(18:19):
shifted away from me, ever soslightly. Can you get away tonight?
Benjamin always worked late on Thursday nights, so he could take the next afternoon
off to golf. I'd be ableto slip out of the house and return
before he did. I nodded,hide the knife inside your house, Jesse

(18:41):
instructed, where's a good place nearthe back door. I said, there's
a laundry room there. I'll putit down beside the dryer. Perfect.
I'll grab it and wait for himin his study. The realness of what
was about to happen bore down onme, and my stomach churned. I

(19:02):
half stood, ready to move tothe bathroom. When my phone rang out
in the hushed space. Lee's nameon the call display made my hair stand
on end. It was like she'dsomehow heard us I glanced at the clock
in the top corner of the screen. Lee would be done with her treatments
by now. I'd promised to meether there to pay for everything, but

(19:25):
I'd lost track of time. Ipicked up the phone. Hello, Hazel,
it's Lee. I'm at the spa, they're saying. Jesse grabbed the
phone away from me and hung up. Why I started, but I knew
what he was doing. Almost instantly, it rang again. Don't answer it.

(19:45):
Jesse's voice was steely. We staredat the device at Lee's name as
it rang out, went to voicemail. When it rang again, we did
the same. Finally it stopped.She had given up. Go to her
now, He said, are youready? I nodded and got up.

(20:07):
Jesse did too. We were movingtoward the door when he touched my shoulder.
There's just one more thing. Istopped and turned. The punch came
out of nowhere, smashing into mycheekbone, sending me reeling instinctively. I
stepped back, covered my face,cowered away, but he was coming toward

(20:30):
me, hands outstretched. I'm sorry, babe, it would have hurt more
if I told you I was goingto do it. Tears were hot on
my skin. Though I hadn't realizedI was crying. The pain was dull,
throbbing, somehow far away. Icouldn't speak, couldn't move. I

(20:52):
was in shock. I know Lee. Jesse said, she won't go into
your house just for money. Weneed to make her pity you, to
think she's saving you. I stoodtaller, found my voice. Benjamin would
never hit me in the face.Lee doesn't know that. He reached out

(21:14):
to wipe my tears, but Iflinched away from his touch. The sudden
violence had rattled me, and theease with which he had hit me hurt
more than the physical pain. Pullyourself together, Hazel. His voice was
calm, controlled, I know whatI'm doing. I nodded, blinked away

(21:37):
the tears, and I left.When I was outside his building, I
puked into the dry, brittle grass, but it worked. When I removed
my sunglasses in the SPA parking lot, Lee was horrified by my injured face,
my traumatized demeanor. When I askedher to come into my house to
set me free. The money andthe new identification were secondary. She was

(22:04):
scared for me. She felt compelledto save me, and in return,
I would send her to jail fora murder she hadn't committed. But it
was the only way I could befree of one man, to start over
with another, a man who woulddo anything for me, even kill for

(22:25):
me, the same man who hadjust punched me in the face. Follow
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