Building Core Relationships: Lessons from 43 Years of Marriage

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What's the secret to 43 years of marriage? It's a question I found myself reflecting on this week as Linda and I celebrated another year together. Time seems to accelerate with each passing anniversary, prompting me to revisit a story I wrote for my StoryWorth collection about relationship advice.

The foundation of our enduring marriage isn't just mutual attraction – though I'm still drawn to Linda's beauty just as I was at 17. What's sustained us through four decades is our commitment to shared experiences. From teaching Sunday school together in our early years to leading marriage events and eventually finding common purpose through our work in Haiti, these joint ventures have strengthened our bond in profound ways. We've mastered the art of supporting each other's passions – I embrace her love of dancing, she accompanies me to auto races. We've learned to gauge the importance of requests with a simple 1-10 scale, ensuring we prioritize what truly matters to each other.

Beyond marriage, I've discovered the value of carefully selecting who enters your core circle. The most enriching relationships come from people who make deposits into your life account – individuals who share common interests, hold you accountable, speak truth, respond in times of need, and listen without judgment. They encourage your dreams and make you better just by being present. As you consider your own relationships, seek those who fill your life bucket rather than depleting it, recognizing that some connections are seasonal while others last a lifetime. Connect with me at dantheroadtripguy.com to share your own relationship insights or adventures – I'd love to hear how you're building meaningful connections in your life journey.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Dan the Road Trip Guy.
I'm your host, dan, and eachweek we'll embark on a new
adventure, discovering memoriesand life lessons of our
incredible guests, from everydaytravelers to thrill seekers and
everyone in between.
This podcast is your front rowseat to inspiring stories of
passion, resilience and thepursuit of happiness.
So buckle up and enjoy the ride.

(00:24):
This past week, linda and Icelebrated our 43rd wedding
anniversary.
Always seems a little crazy asthe years go by, and they seem
to go by a little bit quicker.
That took me down a path oflooking back at mystoryworthcom.

(00:45):
As you know, if you've listenedbefore, lauren gave me this
gift for Christmas in 2023.
53 questions.
She prompted me with one eachweek and one additional one at
the end.
I dug through and I found onewhat is your best relationship
advice?
And here's how the story went.
When I read this question, myfirst thought was my

(01:05):
relationship with Linda.
I'll get to other relationshipsin a moment.
I am sure I was drawn toLinda's beauty when we were 17
years old.
What 17-year-old boy isn'tdrawn to the beauty of a girl?
After when I wrote this, it was42 and a half years of marriage
.
Now it's 43 years.
I am still drawn to her beauty,but our relationship goes much

(01:26):
deeper.
It has become about how wecompliment, encourage and love
one another.
We were once asked how we havesustained our marriage, and the
one thing I could come up withis the common things we do
together.
Early on, we taught Sundayschool together.
Later, we led marriage eventsand finally Haiti became
something that pulled ustogether.
Later, we led marriage eventsand finally Haiti became
something that pulled ustogether.

(01:47):
We both have our own interest,but we sport each other's
interest by participating.
I love auto racing and Lindadoes too, though not as much as
I do.
She is willing to ride alongwith my passion.
We take dance lessons and Lindadrove that new activity.
I've always wanted to learn andI'm happy to join her in that,
but probably not something Iwould have done on my own.

(02:08):
We have both introduced eachother to new things.
We continually have encouragedeach other to be better.
We once read in a marriage bookthat if one person wants to do
something and the other does not, then score it.
The one who doesn't want to goalong should ask the other
person.
On a scale of one to ten, howimportant is this to you?
Relationships are about giveand take.

(02:29):
Sometimes we do things we don'tenjoy and sometimes we do.
We both love to travel and tohike.
We both love movies.
We love to spend time withfriends.
We walk together.
We still dream together.
The bottom line for theendurance of our relationship
has been shared experience.
I once heard you only need a fewpeople in your core circle.
My advice, when you're lookingfor other relationships other

(02:52):
than that important one to yourspouse, is to look for people
who are going to make depositsinto your life account.
These will be people withcommon interests.
These will be people who holdyou accountable for your goals
and dreams.
These are people who you cantrust with confidentiality.
These are people who will speaktruth into your life.
These are people who, if you'rein trouble, they will respond.

(03:16):
These are people who you canpick up right where you left off
, even though it may have onlybeen hours or maybe years.
These are the people who reachout from time to time to simply
check in.
These are the people who aregreat listeners and who can give
advice based on theirexperiences and not their
opinions.
These are the people who willdo things you enjoy when maybe

(03:38):
they don't.
These are the people who willlisten to your crazy dreams and
encourage you to dream more.
These are the people who makeyou better.
As I write about the qualities Ilook for in a relationship, I
check myself to ensure I am thetype of friend and worthy to be
in someone else's core circle.
I must remember that somerelationships are for a season

(03:59):
and some are for a lifetime, andboth are important.
The best relationship advice Icould give to anyone is find
people with common interests.
Find people who are open to newideas and ways of viewing
things.
Find people who don't changeyour core beliefs.
Find people who know how todream.
Find people who are positive.
Find people who will fill yourlife bucket.

(04:19):
It can be easy to haverelationship with lots of people
.
It is harder to have corerelationships with only a few
people.
I hope you enjoyed this.
I hope you have these type ofpeople in your life If you're
married.
I hope you have sharedexperiences with your spouse.
Until we catch up again, have agreat day.
Thank you for tuning in to Danthe Road Trip Guy.

(04:39):
I hope you enjoyed our journeytoday and the stories that were
shared.
If you have any thoughts orquestions or stories of your own
, I'd love to hear from you.
Feel free to reach out to meanytime.
Don't forget to share thispodcast with your friends and
family and help us to spread thejoy of road trips and great
conversations.
Until next time, keep driving,keep exploring and keep having

(05:01):
those amazing conversations.
Safe travels, and remember youcan find me on the internet at
dantheroadtripguycom.