November 8, 2019 • 27 mins
#21 - Q&A: How do you get an identity crisis transformation?
Continuing the Q&A series, Dan tackles Question #2 which is "how do you get a total transformation of someone who is suffering an identity crisis? This is a powerful one where Dan talks about the personal story of his wife.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (00:12):
Anybody have a question, sir?
Your wife for eight years?
Yeah, change in her life.
Okay, absolutely.
Good question.
He said you shared a testimonyof a wife for eight years.
She struggled with her identity.
You said what was the change inher that brought her out of that
eight year struggle?
(00:32):
It's actually a beautiful story.
Okay.
Because I shared how I couldhave been a lot of other things
maybe in those eight yearshurting husband, ready to break
down.
Call Wiley, please pray for me.
If she doesn't change soon, Ican't take it much more that
language.
Sound familiar to anybody?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
[inaudible]
Speaker 2 (00:49):
she was in ICU on life support with severe brain
damage.
Me and my, my 14 year old wentin and prayed for my 14 year old
was going through his own stuffright in the moment.
So I had my daughter, my son andmy wife, all springing off of
each other.
They would tell you today ifthey were in the room that they
would team up on me to try tomake me look like the problem.
(01:13):
My kid sat down and didn't havea parent child conference.
They had a child parentconference.
They sat me down to tell me,dad, you're too extreme.
You're too much.
Jesus.
You got to face reality.
We don't see anybody out therethinking like you are living
like you because they knew how Ilive.
So they weren't saying, dad,you're a hypocrite.
(01:34):
You preach in the church andthen you're not that way at
home.
That was never the issue.
I promise.
They could only say you're tooextreme.
I don't see anybody out there.
Nobody even in our church that'sliving what you're living, dad,
you're, you're, you're out ofbalance.
You're too much.
Jesus.
And I said, guys, I don't evenknow what you're trying to say.
(01:55):
Well, you're just too much.
Jesus dad.
It's not like everything's Jesusand they didn't preach at my
kids.
I just lived my convictions sothey couldn't live around me
without being convicted.
It got so bad that if I was justreading my Bible, they would
interpret it as look at him overthere, reading his Bible to make
a statement asking if we readour Bibles.
That's when you know you're outof fellowship with golf.
(02:18):
When somebody's reading theirBible and you think it has to do
with you, that's when you arevery self conscious and insecure
and really need help from beforemy boy was messing around behind
the scenes, I had no idea thatthe Lord never showed me, showed
me a couple things in his teenyears that were pretty, uh,
(02:40):
timely and amazing thatconfronted him.
But my kids had that conferencewith me that day and it was
funny.
I said, well guys, it's unfairthat you're mentioned in some of
these leaders names andcomparing me to them.
I said, see, I'm not followingthem and following Jesus, and
you said there's nobody outthere that looks like what you
see me.
I said, you got to open yourBibles up and take a good look
(03:01):
at Jesus and tell me if there'sanything you see in your dad
that looks like that or anythingin him that looks like your dad
because I'm following him guys.
And then the Holy Spirit'spretty sharp, right?
I said, here's what you're doingtoday.
You're desiring to go into theflesh and live weakness.
Your consciences are violated,but you have things you're set
on and you feel like I'm ahurdle.
(03:22):
You have to jump.
I'm your last turtle, so you'rehaving this little talk to try
to get past the hurdle so youcan move forward.
And I just looked at him andsaid, guys, and we just had
look, talk and hug Doman theywalked out of the room like
this.
Shortly after all that, my wifegoes into a violent seizure.
She ends up on life support inICU with severe brain damage.
(03:44):
They told me on the phone thatthey were very concerned she
would die and I told my boy, Iwant you to come in with me and
I wasn't being arrogant.
Please don't, please don't.
Just judge what I say.
That'll locate you.
Just hear what I say first.
Wait til I'm done before youthink about it.
See, I've seen a lot as apastor, I, I've seen people go
(04:04):
into church and and get an extrapush toward God when they're in
crisis.
And then they quote scripturelike it's magic and then they
don't get what they're quoting.
And then they get in a quandaryand back off again.
I've seen people getting marriedtroubles and they run to church
and when their marriage is okay.
Oh wow.
(04:25):
And they, Israel did it over andover in the Bible over and over
and over.
The doctor called the house andhe said,
Speaker 3 (04:37):
[inaudible]
Speaker 2 (04:38):
mr Mala.
I said, yeah.
And he said about the conditionof my wife.
And I said, okay.
He said, I want, I need yourconsent to run a spinal tap and
dah, dah, dah.
And we're very concerned shecould die this and fluids.
I don't know nothing.
I am zero medical.
I'm not against medical.
I'm just zero.
No nothing.
So I said, doctor, pleaselisten, you're talking another
language to me.
(04:58):
I said, now is not the time forme to get a medical education.
That's what you went to schoolfor, sir.
And I respect that and yourheart is to help her.
You do what you believe is bestand I eat one of these liability
guys watching you like a Hawk.
You do what you believe you'retrained to do and what you
believe will help her and nowcome in and do what I've been
(05:20):
equipped to, to heal a, see alot of people call that
arrogance, but you're too lateto talk to me about that cause I
was in their shoes.
A lot of people would say,that's arrogant.
I don't know.
Nope.
I told him I was prepared.
I'm ready to come in.
And he said, well what is thatthat you're coming in to do?
What are you equipped to do?
(05:40):
I said, sir, I'm going to layhands on her and the kingdom of
God is going to come upon her.
And he said, well sir, Iappreciate that, but I have to
face the reality of thesituation because I'm the
doctor.
I said, no, you couldn't hearwhat I said, but it's not your
fault.
My boys listening to the wholeconversation, I said, you have
seen countless confessingChristians come in here under
(06:03):
situations like this andabsolute ness quoting scripture.
They haven't even done with him.
They're calling on him when theyneed him and they're looking for
an answer, like a rubbing alamp.
I said, that's not who you'retalking to on the phone.
I've been with him and thatmoved by this phone call.
(06:24):
I'll see you in a minute.
I told my boy, I said, what'sgoing on dad?
And I told him and he just puthis head down on the dishwasher
and I poked him and said, Hey,don't even go there, but get
yourself freshened up.
You can come with me.
It'll be a good experience.
We'll see the glory of God.
He still talks about, because hesaid, when I got that phone
(06:46):
call, he by my questions inresponse, he knew it was some
serious, but he said, you wouldnever know by looking at.
He said, dad, you didn't evenflinch.
It's impossible to not flinch.
I've been in serious car wrecksand my POS was normal and my
countenance was, I hadparamedics yelling at me and
(07:07):
said, now's not the time forjokes, or we need to find the
driver.
I, my disposition was so normaland relaxed that there's no way
I could have been driving.
It's impossible, but it's not.
I've been with him.
It's not my fault.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
[inaudible]
Speaker 2 (07:34):
we went in the hospital, he wouldn't come.
He said, he's not coming.
I said, I'd love you to come.
It'd be a great experience foryou, but if you decide you can,
I'll never judge you for it.
I won't hold it in front of you.
I said, I understand, butnonetheless, I'm heading in
there.
So I went up and got some thingstogether.
I come down, I said, Hey buddy,he still standing in the same
position.
(07:54):
Why?
Everything's running through hismind now because he's violated
in his conscience.
He's living some things insecret.
He's crossing lines.
He's not in a good place andmomma's in Tacoma and he's
messing around and he ain'tready.
He ain't ready.
(08:14):
His conscience is vibrate.
And I said, I'll see you bird,and I hugged him and he said,
dad, I'm coming with you.
I said, that's a good thing.
I'm happy about that.
So we went in, we walked in, Italked to him about not, not
looking at her state, so wewalked in there.
It's funny how your spontaneous,he's laying there.
(08:35):
His first, I seen her on lifesupport in Tacoma and stun even
look like her face looks,swelled.
Her eyes are puffy.
She sat tube is working for her.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Ah,
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Oh.
She just said her man thatcrawled up on her bed and big
smile.
He lit my face and I popped hereyes as wide as I could.
I said, Hey, I said, you boysare here to see you.
I said, we come to get you outof this nap.
You've been in this nap a littlebit too long and my voice is
staring at her and I said, wehad to stop at the grocery store
(09:09):
girl.
And it was not a pretty sight.
I said, we didn't know where wewas, what we were getting.
I said, you're getting up andthis boy thinks I'm ironing a
shirt tomorrow for school, so Iknow you're coming up now I can
I or not travel.
I didn't even know what I wasdoing.
Later I realized it was themercy of God for my boy, cause
(09:30):
all he could see
Speaker 5 (09:32):
was it.
Coma stuff's important.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Just cause you know what the Bible says and quoted
don't mean you see what theBible says.
If you're only quoting itbecause you see what you're
quoting it to, you're introuble.
When you get told you're goingto die and you pray from the
perspective of a dying man,that's probably why we die.
When you become your prognosisinstead of a finished work of
his son, there's a differencebetween the two because deep in
(10:02):
my heart, even if I lose mywife, I know that nothing
changes about the gospel, but Iain't gone in there to lose her.
I'm going to hold on as tight asI know, but deep in my heart I
know I can't lose.
We already won.
I remember being in home groupone time.
I actually tore my shirt.
I was so passionate.
See I'm calling for you.
(10:24):
I was crawling on my knees inthe floor and they all come
piling in my home.
I had 70 people in my smalllittle home sitting up the steps
in all the rooms, powered upeverywhere and I can't even see
through the people in them onthe floor, on my knees.
And I was quite, and I said, yousee that woman?
I pointed at my wife and I'mpassionate.
Like you can't imagine like waymore than you've seen me all
weekend.
(10:44):
Did you see her?
I love her.
She's the wife of my youth.
I finally love her.
I know what it means to loveher.
You see them two precious kidsof mine and they're sitting
there.
My kids are looking like, Whoa,daddy's pretty intense right
now.
And everybody's like, Whoa.
Cause they all come around homegroup Jesus, yay blessing, woo
fire God.
And they're all looking to comeand have fun in the Lord.
And now I'm on my knees in a madman thing comes on me and I'm
(11:05):
like, see her.
See you.
You see this house?
I said, you take her from me,you strip them children from my
life.
You burn down this house and youkicked the shirt and my shirt
when the buttons flew, Oh it wasreally perfect timing.
You take the shirt off for myback and I looked at him and I
said, but you cannot touch mebecause now I understand why I'm
(11:30):
here.
None of that will change thistruth.
In fact, I'll run it all themore because I'm living for a
call and people were looking atme, my home group.
They're like, Hm.
Rather, I don't think this iswhy we came to your house for
this message.
(11:51):
We came for blessing.
What?
I'm preaching his blessing causeit's total freedom.
I'll send your not even afraidof adversity because it's not
the issue.
You're not living for calm seas.
Are you kidding me?
If you're living for calm seas,you're always driven by the seas
(12:12):
.
You're as good as they arecalled.
How does all that change?
Truth of why he's in me.
Let me stretch you right now.
I know I'm not doing a lot ofquestions.
For some reason for watches.
If my wife runs off with anotherman and I go home and find out
(12:35):
she ain't even there.
Let me ask you a strongquestion.
How am I any lesson knowing itin houses is a truth about
Christ in me.
Change.
Why would I let one woman'saction decide my life and
stereotype me and Rob me of thetruth?
Yeah.
See, we can't even handle thatanalogy.
(12:55):
I feel that in the room,
Speaker 5 (12:58):
but I wish we could.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
How does one woman's mistake in sin change the truth
about the Lord in me?
Why do we let it all the time?
You are with me.
Come on.
That one AGA.
I feel that in the room it feelsweird when you use that
(13:23):
illustration.
We are not ready for thatbecause of that happened to us.
Devastation, broken trust.
Never trust again, but thenbecause of insecurity and need,
we're with somebody else, but wecarry all that unhealed stuff
along with us.
Now we're putting on a newperson.
(13:44):
Stuff that another person put onus now they have to bear what we
haven't dealt with.
Oops.
Don't get uncomfortable.
Just go.
Amen.
Long story short, I prayed formy wife.
My boys there popped her eyesopen.
(14:04):
You ever look into the eyes of adead person?
Do you ever been around anybodydead?
You can't find their eyes.
I'm looking at you.
You can't do that.
Kenya, when they're in a coma,you can't do it.
It's an astounding thing.
The the, the, the soul livingthe souls alive when they're in
a coma, you can't find theireyes.
I, it's the strangest thing.
(14:25):
It's like you can't, they're notthere, but you can see the
pupil, but they won't look atyou.
I'm looking right at you.
You're looking at me, right?
You can't do that to a deadperson.
You can't do that to somebodythat was in her state.
I popped her eyes open and Ilooked down and I just had to
look past that quickly because Icouldn't find her eyes.
So I just talked to her.
(14:47):
I didn't realize I was doing itfor my boy cause all he could
see was a coma size being fun,loving and it wasn't a strategy
and I didn't plan it and thinkI'm going to try to Umer our way
through this.
So I looked at him, I said, youready to pray?
He said, yes, dad probablyprayed 20 seconds, took a little
longer than I usually do forsome reason I'm just faith guy.
I don't just pray, pray, pray,pray, pray.
(15:08):
I was father, I thank you foryour son.
I thank you for what you paidfor and redemption restoration.
Kim, you get up, you be whole.
You be unfaced by the situation.
You live the will of God.
You be the woman you werecreated for.
You get up out of this thing inJesus name, 20 seconds.
Wow brother.
Here's where we slip up andfollow the time you say amen.
(15:32):
You just prayed your faithprayer the best, you understand
and there she is, lay andsucking on that tube and that's
where we fall apart because weturn faith into a point in time.
I hit miss, win or lose.
Did he or didn't he as helearned her sucking on that tube
and I looked at my boy andsmiled real big.
I said, you ready to head out?
(15:52):
We did where we came for mamawill be well, okay.
Yet we headed on out the room.
She still sucking on thatventilator.
We get out of the room.
You're in ICU.
You're supposed to be.
There's other people.
My boy starts throwing up the[inaudible] when I see you can't
(16:13):
do that right now.
I'm thinking as a dad, he'soverwhelmed cause we're leaving
mom and he just saw her in acoma so I figured he's fallen a
party out on as long as hecould.
He's losing it.
Come on buddy.
We hit the mechanical door.
We get out in the hall once weget out in the main hospital, he
is done.
I said, buddy, listen, you can'tbe seeing mom.
He said, Hey mom, my boys notlike this.
(16:34):
He pushes me and he's likeviolently and I'm like, well,
birdie, you got me confused ifit ain't mom and I'm thinking,
man, what some deep familythings unfolding right here in
the hospital or Hey mom, it'syou and me, dad.
It's you and me.
I thought, Oh, I turn is okay.
(16:54):
We're going to settle someunresolved conflict right here.
I said, buddy, let's head outand let's talk about it.
I said, I said, uh, I said, Idon't know what he said, you and
me, dad, we're so different.
We're not different.
I said, we both have a covenantwith God.
(17:15):
We're both loved by God.
The blood speak in the samething over me that his speaking
of year and I tried to justshare why I'm confident and
share scripture with him causethat's the only way to get him
out of that Struth scripture.
He said, well, you're preachingat your boy.
No, I'm really helping my boy.
You ask him today.
He loves me so much because heknows his daddy is a man of God
(17:37):
because he has seen me in allthese situations.
He was with me when the car gotso crushed that I had to break
open my door and pull themthrough a space and he saw
standing there with the biggestgleam.
My daughter said, mom, Icouldn't even be afraid.
I just kept looking into daddy'sface and knew everything was
(17:58):
okay.
See what's wrong with me.
God tell you through thesethings.
So you realize we left thehospital.
He's screaming and out there NewYork, me, and I said, there's no
difference.
He said, yes it is dad.
Yes it is.
I mean, he's letting me have itlike I don't have a clue what's
(18:18):
going on.
I said, buddy, there is nodifference between us.
And I told him, he said, yes, itis dead.
Watch.
He said, 14 you don't see what Isee.
You don't see what I see.
Speaker 6 (18:35):
Uh, no
Speaker 2 (18:39):
juice.
And he fell on me and began tocry, not lean down.
I said, I see Jesus side liftedup.
I see the King of Cory.
I don't see and I began to talkto him about living his life
(19:00):
where as conscience stays cleanand being ready in the moment
and I got to use it as a realspringboard.
So I told him, you're not goingto be depressed, you're going to
school tomorrow.
You can iron your own shirt andyou can buy on.
Buy a bam.
We get home an hour and a halflater my wife opens her eyes.
(19:24):
An hour and a half later opensher eyes, was zero brain damage,
zero residuals from an hour longseizure.
I go into the hospital when Isee my wife, they have her
completely unhooked, allunhooked cause I went in at six
45 in the morning because theLord I was taking a shower.
(19:47):
He said, today is a day ofincreased grade increase.
Go see your wife now.
I said, now, he said, now I haveto.
I did hyper wash gone.
I was in there.
I snuck in there at six 45 inthe morning.
She sitting up in bed.
The doctor that I talked to onthe phone.
I remember the doctor that Isaid do what you were trained
for.
I'll do what I was good.
He's doing, he's the head ofICU.
(20:09):
So he's doing his little whitecoat circle at the start of the
day.
He's got all the guy that he did, they all got clipboards.
They're doing a debrief,patients runs, dah, dah, dah.
He sees me coming through.
I looked over and I went likethat cause he looked at me, he
went like this to his circle,laid his clipboard down and ran
through the circle, ran to me,ran to me.
I said, Hey, good morningdoctor.
(20:29):
He said, Dan, your wife is doingamazing.
I said, I know doctor, that'swhy I'm here.
I was just in the shower and theLord said to get in here and see
her today.
Agree Dan, after you left, shewoke up.
She's been coherent.
She's been talking, she'scommunicating with the night
shift nurse.
I got all the notes written.
We have done a full test.
(20:50):
She has no brain damage and noseizure activity.
It.
It's, it's beyond medical and,and, and, and I said, doctor, I
want to thank you so much forall you've done done.
We didn't do this.
We, we didn't.
I said, doctor, I understand youdidn't do that, but man, don't
miss it.
You've done a lot and Iappreciate you.
(21:11):
No, you don't understand.
We didn't do that.
I said, talk to her.
And he just started to crybecause this was such a miracle
to his heart.
He just started to cry and hegrabbed me an initiated hug and
a passenger tell me a long timeago when somebody grabs your leg
and hugs, you don't let go tilthey do.
So I just held him and he justheld me.
(21:32):
And when he finally let me go,it was a long hook.
He was weeping and I said,thanks again doctor.
I turned the corner.
I'm finally answering yourquestion.
I get such long answers comearound the corner and my wife's
sitting up, sweet little thing.
She just come out of the coma,her hair is flat.
(21:53):
She's in her little hospitalgown, tied in the back and she's
sitting there.
And I looked at her and shewent, hi.
Hardly could talk, had a whisperbecause of the trake.
Hey.
I said, Hey you.
I said, Oh my goodness, you'venever been more beautiful.
She went, Oh, hello.
(22:18):
Ran in there and I squeezed her.
She yawned.
I just started crying.
It was so cute.
She yawned.
She's alive.
Jesus is Lord.
We can live a certain way,right?
Speaker 5 (22:38):
[inaudible]
Speaker 2 (22:39):
you can say, well, Dan, your own fare, because
wonder if people have theexperience and did all that and
they didn't get that answer.
See, you're missing the pointsthat I'm making.
Talk about living in Jesus,living in fellowship.
Whether I got the result or not,it doesn't change how I live.
Are you with me?
(23:00):
And then I learned there's aconnection because how I live
actually ends up determining alot
Speaker 5 (23:08):
[inaudible]
Speaker 2 (23:09):
I do know this.
You have no authority over whatyou fear,
Speaker 5 (23:13):
right?
Speaker 2 (23:16):
So she said, what happened to me?
Why am I here?
I said, honey, you had a violentseizure.
That's what they were tellingme.
I said, yeah, it was prettyserious.
It lasted an hour.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
They actually thought you weregoing to go, girl.
They thought you were going todie for here you are.
And she went watch.
Cause she's been telling me allthis time be better if I was
(23:39):
just going, I can't get itstraight.
I'm such a goofball.
I'm such a dead weight in yourlife.
I'm like, stop.
You're none of those things.
Watch.
She looked at me and went, shestarted crying.
I said, why did she say you heldon?
Speaker 7 (23:59):
Yeah, to me it didn't let me go.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
I said, you're not going anywhere.
I love you.
You're awesome.
And she realized that all thistime I was seeing something
about her.
She wasn't and that she wasn'tworthy of going.
She was worthy of love and sherealized in her heart, I don't
(24:25):
totally see what it is yet, butthere's a truth about me that he
knows.
And that changes every day.
And from that day I watched herwalk out of that lie by the
grace of God.
Now, her biggest challenge as amama was both her children, our
children, both her children werein a bad situation right then
(24:48):
and her biggest challengeactually, my son went on to get
in a real bad when my daughterwas already kind of in one.
So right then my wife startedwalking out of it, her biggest
challenge and I just loved herthrough it and walked her
through.
It was feeling condemned everytime they made terrible choice,
feeling like she helped to feedthat and was partially
(25:10):
responsible.
So I said, listen, you can onlybe sorry from your heart.
Condemnation is a zero.
When do you fall on the mercy ofGod?
So if you believe you helped fewit, why don't you help diffuse
it?
And why don't you live with aclear conscience and live in
uprightness and go after Godlike never before.
She said, that sounds better.
(25:32):
So God pulled her out of thecondemnation and pulled her out
of the lie.
And today my wife is doingamazing.
My wife is doing amazing.
She's, she's a gem.
She's so sensitive.
She will pray for you and cryfor you.
And won't even know.
You should just hear what you'regoing through and she'll lay on
her couch and weep and crybefore the Lord and pray.
(25:55):
My wife's a jam, so that's howshe came out of it.
When her husband held onto herin prayer and didn't say, well,
this is my out.
She's been pretty hard to dealwith anyway.
I guess this is tough, but insome sense it's a gift because
things haven't been happeningfor eight years.
I don't know if you understand.
(26:16):
Do you understand what I meanwhen I say I was living married,
but like single for eight yearsbecause of where she was?
Do you get that phrase?
Totally.
Okay.
Completely fulfilled.
Not needy.
Not itchy.
(26:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (26:39):
Fulfilled.
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (26:56):
[inaudible]
Speaker 9 (26:56):
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Speaker 6 (27:12):
[inaudible].
[inaudible].
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Speaker 2 (00:12):
Anybody have a question, sir?
Your wife for eight years?
Yeah, change in her life.
Okay, absolutely.
Good question.
He said you shared a testimonyof a wife for eight years.
She struggled with her identity.
You said what was the change inher that brought her out of that
eight year struggle?
(00:32):
It's actually a beautiful story.
Okay.
Because I shared how I couldhave been a lot of other things
maybe in those eight yearshurting husband, ready to break
down.
Call Wiley, please pray for me.
If she doesn't change soon, Ican't take it much more that
language.
Sound familiar to anybody?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
[inaudible]
Speaker 2 (00:49):
she was in ICU on life support with severe brain
damage.
Me and my, my 14 year old wentin and prayed for my 14 year old
was going through his own stuffright in the moment.
So I had my daughter, my son andmy wife, all springing off of
each other.
They would tell you today ifthey were in the room that they
would team up on me to try tomake me look like the problem.
(01:13):
My kid sat down and didn't havea parent child conference.
They had a child parentconference.
They sat me down to tell me,dad, you're too extreme.
You're too much.
Jesus.
You got to face reality.
We don't see anybody out therethinking like you are living
like you because they knew how Ilive.
So they weren't saying, dad,you're a hypocrite.
(01:34):
You preach in the church andthen you're not that way at
home.
That was never the issue.
I promise.
They could only say you're tooextreme.
I don't see anybody out there.
Nobody even in our church that'sliving what you're living, dad,
you're, you're, you're out ofbalance.
You're too much.
Jesus.
And I said, guys, I don't evenknow what you're trying to say.
(01:55):
Well, you're just too much.
Jesus dad.
It's not like everything's Jesusand they didn't preach at my
kids.
I just lived my convictions sothey couldn't live around me
without being convicted.
It got so bad that if I was justreading my Bible, they would
interpret it as look at him overthere, reading his Bible to make
a statement asking if we readour Bibles.
That's when you know you're outof fellowship with golf.
(02:18):
When somebody's reading theirBible and you think it has to do
with you, that's when you arevery self conscious and insecure
and really need help from beforemy boy was messing around behind
the scenes, I had no idea thatthe Lord never showed me, showed
me a couple things in his teenyears that were pretty, uh,
(02:40):
timely and amazing thatconfronted him.
But my kids had that conferencewith me that day and it was
funny.
I said, well guys, it's unfairthat you're mentioned in some of
these leaders names andcomparing me to them.
I said, see, I'm not followingthem and following Jesus, and
you said there's nobody outthere that looks like what you
see me.
I said, you got to open yourBibles up and take a good look
(03:01):
at Jesus and tell me if there'sanything you see in your dad
that looks like that or anythingin him that looks like your dad
because I'm following him guys.
And then the Holy Spirit'spretty sharp, right?
I said, here's what you're doingtoday.
You're desiring to go into theflesh and live weakness.
Your consciences are violated,but you have things you're set
on and you feel like I'm ahurdle.
(03:22):
You have to jump.
I'm your last turtle, so you'rehaving this little talk to try
to get past the hurdle so youcan move forward.
And I just looked at him andsaid, guys, and we just had
look, talk and hug Doman theywalked out of the room like
this.
Shortly after all that, my wifegoes into a violent seizure.
She ends up on life support inICU with severe brain damage.
(03:44):
They told me on the phone thatthey were very concerned she
would die and I told my boy, Iwant you to come in with me and
I wasn't being arrogant.
Please don't, please don't.
Just judge what I say.
That'll locate you.
Just hear what I say first.
Wait til I'm done before youthink about it.
See, I've seen a lot as apastor, I, I've seen people go
(04:04):
into church and and get an extrapush toward God when they're in
crisis.
And then they quote scripturelike it's magic and then they
don't get what they're quoting.
And then they get in a quandaryand back off again.
I've seen people getting marriedtroubles and they run to church
and when their marriage is okay.
Oh wow.
(04:25):
And they, Israel did it over andover in the Bible over and over
and over.
The doctor called the house andhe said,
Speaker 3 (04:37):
[inaudible]
Speaker 2 (04:38):
mr Mala.
I said, yeah.
And he said about the conditionof my wife.
And I said, okay.
He said, I want, I need yourconsent to run a spinal tap and
dah, dah, dah.
And we're very concerned shecould die this and fluids.
I don't know nothing.
I am zero medical.
I'm not against medical.
I'm just zero.
No nothing.
So I said, doctor, pleaselisten, you're talking another
language to me.
(04:58):
I said, now is not the time forme to get a medical education.
That's what you went to schoolfor, sir.
And I respect that and yourheart is to help her.
You do what you believe is bestand I eat one of these liability
guys watching you like a Hawk.
You do what you believe you'retrained to do and what you
believe will help her and nowcome in and do what I've been
(05:20):
equipped to, to heal a, see alot of people call that
arrogance, but you're too lateto talk to me about that cause I
was in their shoes.
A lot of people would say,that's arrogant.
I don't know.
Nope.
I told him I was prepared.
I'm ready to come in.
And he said, well what is thatthat you're coming in to do?
What are you equipped to do?
(05:40):
I said, sir, I'm going to layhands on her and the kingdom of
God is going to come upon her.
And he said, well sir, Iappreciate that, but I have to
face the reality of thesituation because I'm the
doctor.
I said, no, you couldn't hearwhat I said, but it's not your
fault.
My boys listening to the wholeconversation, I said, you have
seen countless confessingChristians come in here under
(06:03):
situations like this andabsolute ness quoting scripture.
They haven't even done with him.
They're calling on him when theyneed him and they're looking for
an answer, like a rubbing alamp.
I said, that's not who you'retalking to on the phone.
I've been with him and thatmoved by this phone call.
(06:24):
I'll see you in a minute.
I told my boy, I said, what'sgoing on dad?
And I told him and he just puthis head down on the dishwasher
and I poked him and said, Hey,don't even go there, but get
yourself freshened up.
You can come with me.
It'll be a good experience.
We'll see the glory of God.
He still talks about, because hesaid, when I got that phone
(06:46):
call, he by my questions inresponse, he knew it was some
serious, but he said, you wouldnever know by looking at.
He said, dad, you didn't evenflinch.
It's impossible to not flinch.
I've been in serious car wrecksand my POS was normal and my
countenance was, I hadparamedics yelling at me and
(07:07):
said, now's not the time forjokes, or we need to find the
driver.
I, my disposition was so normaland relaxed that there's no way
I could have been driving.
It's impossible, but it's not.
I've been with him.
It's not my fault.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
[inaudible]
Speaker 2 (07:34):
we went in the hospital, he wouldn't come.
He said, he's not coming.
I said, I'd love you to come.
It'd be a great experience foryou, but if you decide you can,
I'll never judge you for it.
I won't hold it in front of you.
I said, I understand, butnonetheless, I'm heading in
there.
So I went up and got some thingstogether.
I come down, I said, Hey buddy,he still standing in the same
position.
(07:54):
Why?
Everything's running through hismind now because he's violated
in his conscience.
He's living some things insecret.
He's crossing lines.
He's not in a good place andmomma's in Tacoma and he's
messing around and he ain'tready.
He ain't ready.
(08:14):
His conscience is vibrate.
And I said, I'll see you bird,and I hugged him and he said,
dad, I'm coming with you.
I said, that's a good thing.
I'm happy about that.
So we went in, we walked in, Italked to him about not, not
looking at her state, so wewalked in there.
It's funny how your spontaneous,he's laying there.
(08:35):
His first, I seen her on lifesupport in Tacoma and stun even
look like her face looks,swelled.
Her eyes are puffy.
She sat tube is working for her.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Ah,
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Oh.
She just said her man thatcrawled up on her bed and big
smile.
He lit my face and I popped hereyes as wide as I could.
I said, Hey, I said, you boysare here to see you.
I said, we come to get you outof this nap.
You've been in this nap a littlebit too long and my voice is
staring at her and I said, wehad to stop at the grocery store
(09:09):
girl.
And it was not a pretty sight.
I said, we didn't know where wewas, what we were getting.
I said, you're getting up andthis boy thinks I'm ironing a
shirt tomorrow for school, so Iknow you're coming up now I can
I or not travel.
I didn't even know what I wasdoing.
Later I realized it was themercy of God for my boy, cause
(09:30):
all he could see
Speaker 5 (09:32):
was it.
Coma stuff's important.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Just cause you know what the Bible says and quoted
don't mean you see what theBible says.
If you're only quoting itbecause you see what you're
quoting it to, you're introuble.
When you get told you're goingto die and you pray from the
perspective of a dying man,that's probably why we die.
When you become your prognosisinstead of a finished work of
his son, there's a differencebetween the two because deep in
(10:02):
my heart, even if I lose mywife, I know that nothing
changes about the gospel, but Iain't gone in there to lose her.
I'm going to hold on as tight asI know, but deep in my heart I
know I can't lose.
We already won.
I remember being in home groupone time.
I actually tore my shirt.
I was so passionate.
See I'm calling for you.
(10:24):
I was crawling on my knees inthe floor and they all come
piling in my home.
I had 70 people in my smalllittle home sitting up the steps
in all the rooms, powered upeverywhere and I can't even see
through the people in them onthe floor, on my knees.
And I was quite, and I said, yousee that woman?
I pointed at my wife and I'mpassionate.
Like you can't imagine like waymore than you've seen me all
weekend.
(10:44):
Did you see her?
I love her.
She's the wife of my youth.
I finally love her.
I know what it means to loveher.
You see them two precious kidsof mine and they're sitting
there.
My kids are looking like, Whoa,daddy's pretty intense right
now.
And everybody's like, Whoa.
Cause they all come around homegroup Jesus, yay blessing, woo
fire God.
And they're all looking to comeand have fun in the Lord.
And now I'm on my knees in a madman thing comes on me and I'm
(11:05):
like, see her.
See you.
You see this house?
I said, you take her from me,you strip them children from my
life.
You burn down this house and youkicked the shirt and my shirt
when the buttons flew, Oh it wasreally perfect timing.
You take the shirt off for myback and I looked at him and I
said, but you cannot touch mebecause now I understand why I'm
(11:30):
here.
None of that will change thistruth.
In fact, I'll run it all themore because I'm living for a
call and people were looking atme, my home group.
They're like, Hm.
Rather, I don't think this iswhy we came to your house for
this message.
(11:51):
We came for blessing.
What?
I'm preaching his blessing causeit's total freedom.
I'll send your not even afraidof adversity because it's not
the issue.
You're not living for calm seas.
Are you kidding me?
If you're living for calm seas,you're always driven by the seas
(12:12):
.
You're as good as they arecalled.
How does all that change?
Truth of why he's in me.
Let me stretch you right now.
I know I'm not doing a lot ofquestions.
For some reason for watches.
If my wife runs off with anotherman and I go home and find out
(12:35):
she ain't even there.
Let me ask you a strongquestion.
How am I any lesson knowing itin houses is a truth about
Christ in me.
Change.
Why would I let one woman'saction decide my life and
stereotype me and Rob me of thetruth?
Yeah.
See, we can't even handle thatanalogy.
(12:55):
I feel that in the room,
Speaker 5 (12:58):
but I wish we could.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
How does one woman's mistake in sin change the truth
about the Lord in me?
Why do we let it all the time?
You are with me.
Come on.
That one AGA.
I feel that in the room it feelsweird when you use that
(13:23):
illustration.
We are not ready for thatbecause of that happened to us.
Devastation, broken trust.
Never trust again, but thenbecause of insecurity and need,
we're with somebody else, but wecarry all that unhealed stuff
along with us.
Now we're putting on a newperson.
(13:44):
Stuff that another person put onus now they have to bear what we
haven't dealt with.
Oops.
Don't get uncomfortable.
Just go.
Amen.
Long story short, I prayed formy wife.
My boys there popped her eyesopen.
(14:04):
You ever look into the eyes of adead person?
Do you ever been around anybodydead?
You can't find their eyes.
I'm looking at you.
You can't do that.
Kenya, when they're in a coma,you can't do it.
It's an astounding thing.
The the, the, the soul livingthe souls alive when they're in
a coma, you can't find theireyes.
I, it's the strangest thing.
(14:25):
It's like you can't, they're notthere, but you can see the
pupil, but they won't look atyou.
I'm looking right at you.
You're looking at me, right?
You can't do that to a deadperson.
You can't do that to somebodythat was in her state.
I popped her eyes open and Ilooked down and I just had to
look past that quickly because Icouldn't find her eyes.
So I just talked to her.
(14:47):
I didn't realize I was doing itfor my boy cause all he could
see was a coma size being fun,loving and it wasn't a strategy
and I didn't plan it and thinkI'm going to try to Umer our way
through this.
So I looked at him, I said, youready to pray?
He said, yes, dad probablyprayed 20 seconds, took a little
longer than I usually do forsome reason I'm just faith guy.
I don't just pray, pray, pray,pray, pray.
(15:08):
I was father, I thank you foryour son.
I thank you for what you paidfor and redemption restoration.
Kim, you get up, you be whole.
You be unfaced by the situation.
You live the will of God.
You be the woman you werecreated for.
You get up out of this thing inJesus name, 20 seconds.
Wow brother.
Here's where we slip up andfollow the time you say amen.
(15:32):
You just prayed your faithprayer the best, you understand
and there she is, lay andsucking on that tube and that's
where we fall apart because weturn faith into a point in time.
I hit miss, win or lose.
Did he or didn't he as helearned her sucking on that tube
and I looked at my boy andsmiled real big.
I said, you ready to head out?
(15:52):
We did where we came for mamawill be well, okay.
Yet we headed on out the room.
She still sucking on thatventilator.
We get out of the room.
You're in ICU.
You're supposed to be.
There's other people.
My boy starts throwing up the[inaudible] when I see you can't
(16:13):
do that right now.
I'm thinking as a dad, he'soverwhelmed cause we're leaving
mom and he just saw her in acoma so I figured he's fallen a
party out on as long as hecould.
He's losing it.
Come on buddy.
We hit the mechanical door.
We get out in the hall once weget out in the main hospital, he
is done.
I said, buddy, listen, you can'tbe seeing mom.
He said, Hey mom, my boys notlike this.
(16:34):
He pushes me and he's likeviolently and I'm like, well,
birdie, you got me confused ifit ain't mom and I'm thinking,
man, what some deep familythings unfolding right here in
the hospital or Hey mom, it'syou and me, dad.
It's you and me.
I thought, Oh, I turn is okay.
(16:54):
We're going to settle someunresolved conflict right here.
I said, buddy, let's head outand let's talk about it.
I said, I said, uh, I said, Idon't know what he said, you and
me, dad, we're so different.
We're not different.
I said, we both have a covenantwith God.
(17:15):
We're both loved by God.
The blood speak in the samething over me that his speaking
of year and I tried to justshare why I'm confident and
share scripture with him causethat's the only way to get him
out of that Struth scripture.
He said, well, you're preachingat your boy.
No, I'm really helping my boy.
You ask him today.
He loves me so much because heknows his daddy is a man of God
(17:37):
because he has seen me in allthese situations.
He was with me when the car gotso crushed that I had to break
open my door and pull themthrough a space and he saw
standing there with the biggestgleam.
My daughter said, mom, Icouldn't even be afraid.
I just kept looking into daddy'sface and knew everything was
(17:58):
okay.
See what's wrong with me.
God tell you through thesethings.
So you realize we left thehospital.
He's screaming and out there NewYork, me, and I said, there's no
difference.
He said, yes it is dad.
Yes it is.
I mean, he's letting me have itlike I don't have a clue what's
(18:18):
going on.
I said, buddy, there is nodifference between us.
And I told him, he said, yes, itis dead.
Watch.
He said, 14 you don't see what Isee.
You don't see what I see.
Speaker 6 (18:35):
Uh, no
Speaker 2 (18:39):
juice.
And he fell on me and began tocry, not lean down.
I said, I see Jesus side liftedup.
I see the King of Cory.
I don't see and I began to talkto him about living his life
(19:00):
where as conscience stays cleanand being ready in the moment
and I got to use it as a realspringboard.
So I told him, you're not goingto be depressed, you're going to
school tomorrow.
You can iron your own shirt andyou can buy on.
Buy a bam.
We get home an hour and a halflater my wife opens her eyes.
(19:24):
An hour and a half later opensher eyes, was zero brain damage,
zero residuals from an hour longseizure.
I go into the hospital when Isee my wife, they have her
completely unhooked, allunhooked cause I went in at six
45 in the morning because theLord I was taking a shower.
(19:47):
He said, today is a day ofincreased grade increase.
Go see your wife now.
I said, now, he said, now I haveto.
I did hyper wash gone.
I was in there.
I snuck in there at six 45 inthe morning.
She sitting up in bed.
The doctor that I talked to onthe phone.
I remember the doctor that Isaid do what you were trained
for.
I'll do what I was good.
He's doing, he's the head ofICU.
(20:09):
So he's doing his little whitecoat circle at the start of the
day.
He's got all the guy that he did, they all got clipboards.
They're doing a debrief,patients runs, dah, dah, dah.
He sees me coming through.
I looked over and I went likethat cause he looked at me, he
went like this to his circle,laid his clipboard down and ran
through the circle, ran to me,ran to me.
I said, Hey, good morningdoctor.
(20:29):
He said, Dan, your wife is doingamazing.
I said, I know doctor, that'swhy I'm here.
I was just in the shower and theLord said to get in here and see
her today.
Agree Dan, after you left, shewoke up.
She's been coherent.
She's been talking, she'scommunicating with the night
shift nurse.
I got all the notes written.
We have done a full test.
(20:50):
She has no brain damage and noseizure activity.
It.
It's, it's beyond medical and,and, and, and I said, doctor, I
want to thank you so much forall you've done done.
We didn't do this.
We, we didn't.
I said, doctor, I understand youdidn't do that, but man, don't
miss it.
You've done a lot and Iappreciate you.
(21:11):
No, you don't understand.
We didn't do that.
I said, talk to her.
And he just started to crybecause this was such a miracle
to his heart.
He just started to cry and hegrabbed me an initiated hug and
a passenger tell me a long timeago when somebody grabs your leg
and hugs, you don't let go tilthey do.
So I just held him and he justheld me.
(21:32):
And when he finally let me go,it was a long hook.
He was weeping and I said,thanks again doctor.
I turned the corner.
I'm finally answering yourquestion.
I get such long answers comearound the corner and my wife's
sitting up, sweet little thing.
She just come out of the coma,her hair is flat.
(21:53):
She's in her little hospitalgown, tied in the back and she's
sitting there.
And I looked at her and shewent, hi.
Hardly could talk, had a whisperbecause of the trake.
Hey.
I said, Hey you.
I said, Oh my goodness, you'venever been more beautiful.
She went, Oh, hello.
(22:18):
Ran in there and I squeezed her.
She yawned.
I just started crying.
It was so cute.
She yawned.
She's alive.
Jesus is Lord.
We can live a certain way,right?
Speaker 5 (22:38):
[inaudible]
Speaker 2 (22:39):
you can say, well, Dan, your own fare, because
wonder if people have theexperience and did all that and
they didn't get that answer.
See, you're missing the pointsthat I'm making.
Talk about living in Jesus,living in fellowship.
Whether I got the result or not,it doesn't change how I live.
Are you with me?
(23:00):
And then I learned there's aconnection because how I live
actually ends up determining alot
Speaker 5 (23:08):
[inaudible]
Speaker 2 (23:09):
I do know this.
You have no authority over whatyou fear,
Speaker 5 (23:13):
right?
Speaker 2 (23:16):
So she said, what happened to me?
Why am I here?
I said, honey, you had a violentseizure.
That's what they were tellingme.
I said, yeah, it was prettyserious.
It lasted an hour.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
They actually thought you weregoing to go, girl.
They thought you were going todie for here you are.
And she went watch.
Cause she's been telling me allthis time be better if I was
(23:39):
just going, I can't get itstraight.
I'm such a goofball.
I'm such a dead weight in yourlife.
I'm like, stop.
You're none of those things.
Watch.
She looked at me and went, shestarted crying.
I said, why did she say you heldon?
Speaker 7 (23:59):
Yeah, to me it didn't let me go.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
I said, you're not going anywhere.
I love you.
You're awesome.
And she realized that all thistime I was seeing something
about her.
She wasn't and that she wasn'tworthy of going.
She was worthy of love and sherealized in her heart, I don't
(24:25):
totally see what it is yet, butthere's a truth about me that he
knows.
And that changes every day.
And from that day I watched herwalk out of that lie by the
grace of God.
Now, her biggest challenge as amama was both her children, our
children, both her children werein a bad situation right then
(24:48):
and her biggest challengeactually, my son went on to get
in a real bad when my daughterwas already kind of in one.
So right then my wife startedwalking out of it, her biggest
challenge and I just loved herthrough it and walked her
through.
It was feeling condemned everytime they made terrible choice,
feeling like she helped to feedthat and was partially
(25:10):
responsible.
So I said, listen, you can onlybe sorry from your heart.
Condemnation is a zero.
When do you fall on the mercy ofGod?
So if you believe you helped fewit, why don't you help diffuse
it?
And why don't you live with aclear conscience and live in
uprightness and go after Godlike never before.
She said, that sounds better.
(25:32):
So God pulled her out of thecondemnation and pulled her out
of the lie.
And today my wife is doingamazing.
My wife is doing amazing.
She's, she's a gem.
She's so sensitive.
She will pray for you and cryfor you.
And won't even know.
You should just hear what you'regoing through and she'll lay on
her couch and weep and crybefore the Lord and pray.
(25:55):
My wife's a jam, so that's howshe came out of it.
When her husband held onto herin prayer and didn't say, well,
this is my out.
She's been pretty hard to dealwith anyway.
I guess this is tough, but insome sense it's a gift because
things haven't been happeningfor eight years.
I don't know if you understand.
(26:16):
Do you understand what I meanwhen I say I was living married,
but like single for eight yearsbecause of where she was?
Do you get that phrase?
Totally.
Okay.
Completely fulfilled.
Not needy.
Not itchy.
(26:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (26:39):
Fulfilled.
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (26:56):
[inaudible]
Speaker 9 (26:56):
If you enjoyed this message, please visit
DanMohlerArchive.com to findover 2,500 more messages from
Dan, all organized by category,playlist, and search.
Enjoy!
Speaker 6 (27:12):
[inaudible].
[inaudible].
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