November 13, 2025 • 39 mins
Connect with Scott here:
https://inspiredstewardship.com/dark
The Links:
The Complete Solution for Online Coaches: https://tresorhouse.ca/join
Socials: https://www.linktr.ee/devynharakh
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In this episode of the Dark Matter podcast, host engages in a compelling conversation with Scott Maderer, a seasoned stewardship coach. Scott shares his journey from a science educator in Texas to a senior director at an educational testing company, and eventually finding his calling as a coach specializing in productivity, time management, and finances. The discussion highlights the importance of understanding one's desired impact, communicating effectively in relationships, and the concept of stewardship in personal and business contexts. Scott emphasizes the significance of knowing your 'why' and how thoughts, beliefs, and actions create a feedback loop that can drive you towards success. Listeners will gain insights into how to plan for success, the power of clarity and intention, and how to align their careers and callings for a more fulfilled life. Scott also introduces the idea of stewardship coaching, which involves managing resources responsibly to make a positive impact. The episode provides practical exercises and steps to start moving towards a life of purpose and intentional living.
00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
01:21 Scott Maderer’s Background and Career Journey
02:38 Overcoming Financial and Personal Struggles
03:50 Building a Coaching Business
04:43 The Importance of Communication in Relationships
08:26 The Power of Thoughts and Beliefs
12:29 Defining Success and Setting Goals
14:22 Visualizing Your Future
18:36 Finding Your Talent and Calling
19:12 Understanding the Concept of Calling
19:58 Career vs. Calling: The Key Differences
21:59 Discovering Your True Calling
23:41 Navigating Career and Relationship Challenges
25:08 The Power of Choice and Ownership
28:47 Introduction to Stewardship Coaching
36:42 Current Goals and Resources
38:45 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Hello, hello, welcome in. If you're here listening to this
podcast, that means you're destined for something great,
and we both know it to be true. So without further ado, welcome
to the Dark Matter Podcast. Hello, hello and welcome back to
(00:36):
the Dark Matter Podcast for inspired creators.
Today I have an exciting interview with Scott Mader.
His professional title is a stewardship coach and although
he specializes in a ton of different things from
productivity and time managementall the way down to finances,
(00:58):
today we're going to talk about how to find clarity on your
desired impact. This has been something that has
come up a lot. I always get so much feedback on
it. So we brought in a professional.
So without further ado, Scott, how are you?
Welcome to the podcast and yes, if you could just a quick by a
little bit about yourself to introduce yourself to the
(01:20):
audience. Sure, absolutely.
I I'm doing awesome and thanks so much for having me on today.
I appreciate it. Hope it brings value to the
listener. So I was an educator.
I did that for 16 years. I taught science in the great
state of Texas, or not so great of state of Texas, depending on
how you feel about the state of Texas, I guess.
But I, I did that for 16 years, taught middle school, taught
(01:43):
high school, was really involvedin science reform and teacher
education and improving science in the state.
Eventually I left. That kicked around in a couple
of different things for a while and then eventually got hired by
an educational testing company. And in other words, I went from
teaching to testing. My students said I joined the
(02:03):
dark side, but yeah, but whatever.
So I started doing that, worked myself up into an executive
position. There I was, what they call a
senior director. Ran a fairly large team of
leaders, and then folks reporting to those leaders.
Spent a lot of time on airplanes, at airports and in
hotel rooms and conference roomsand on the road all the time.
(02:24):
Did that for 11 years, Loved that as well.
I love teaching. I love that.
And the parts that I always loved was the pouring into and
developing others, whether that was the students, whether that
was the leaders in the company, whether that was the client, you
know, all of that kind of work. And eventually my wife and I
went through our own particular journey of dealing with
(02:45):
financial stress. I was suicidal because of
finances. We nearly got divorced because
of finances and as we changed our life and started living in a
really weird different way, people started coming up to us
and going, y'all are weird. Do you think you could help me
be weird? And so from that the coaching
business was born. And so while I was kind of
(03:06):
climbing the corporate ladder, Iwas starting this coaching
business on the side. And it evolved over time,
started with finances, and then I added in time and
productivity. And now I've kind of coalesced
and realized that time and moneytypically are the symptom.
And the real problem is what I call talent, which is that ideal
(03:26):
of finding what is Our Calling? What is our passion?
How do we make an impact? What do we do to both live out
what we're designed and built todo and make a big impact on the
world. And so, you know, I jokingly
say, yeah, I tell people I do productivity and money.
But the real truth is, all we ever do is talent.
Because how you handle your time, how you handle your money,
is really all about how you handle for yourself.
(03:49):
That's that's incredible. And there's so much, you know,
after hearing this, I I want to dive into and of course, I do
want to get into stewardship coaching and your coaching and
your current offerings. But before we do, I think there
is a little bit I want to dive into.
So of course you kind of mentioned that there's sometimes
there was a bit a rocky time, right, with, you know, you and
(04:10):
your wife. How did you work through that?
What were some of the things that you felt?
Because I know for me, as some of my listeners are maybe
starting a business with their partners, right?
Or they're trying to do something.
They're at that point where they're trying to get more.
They're past that comfortable stage, but they're not yet at
that new stage. So you know, there's a lot of
challenges that come up. So you, what were some of the
(04:32):
things that you experienced and you know, how did you guys get
on the same page and then, yeah,how did you build a plan for
success and then turn everythingaround?
You know, communication is key and kind of really looking at it
again, money was the symptom forus.
It wasn't actually the problem. The problem was communication.
(04:55):
At the end of the day, I was protecting my wife.
I think a lot of men do this. We see ourselves as the
provider, we see ourselves as the protector.
And I was shielding her from thedead and other things that were
going on. I, I made about $40,000 a year.
At that time. We had about $68,000 in debt.
You know, it's like, what are wedoing?
(05:15):
And that's where the suicidal feelings for me were coming from
because I felt like if I died, Iwas literally worth more than
when I was alive. And it's a policy.
I was telling myself this again,looking back on it now, I know
it wasn't true, but that's how it felt at the time.
And eventually some messaging came into my life that made me
(05:36):
realize that, hey, wait a minute.
You know, maybe there are some things I can do.
Maybe I have more control than Ifeel like I do.
Because the, the truth was wherethat feeling was coming from was
a feeling of hopelessness, right?
I, I can't do anything about this.
And so I was teaching when this started and my wife and I, I've
literally came clean. I went to sit down with my wife
(05:56):
and I said, hey, here's how I'vebeen feeling.
Here's what's going on. Now here's The funny thing.
My wife's a really smart lady. She actually knew all of this
already. And she's trying to shield me by
not adding to my stress by talking to me about it, right?
So we're each protecting the other one, which is making it
worse, you know? And when we sat down and came
(06:17):
clean, it's like, OK, well, do you think we can do something
about this? Yes.
OK, what can we do? And we started making a plan.
Now truth is the plan did not work the way we sat down and
made the plan. It it didn't I, I mentioned I we
had $68,000 worth of debt by theend of it.
We actually paid off $75,858.42.You'll notice that's more
(06:42):
because as we're going through all of this, I actually changed
jobs, I left teaching and, and like I said, did a few different
things for a while and then eventually went into the
corporate. I also ended up with a collapsed
lung twice, once in December, once in January.
Got to pay for all of that twiceon insurance.
Yay. You know, anyone who knows how
insurance works, it's like new cat, new year, new payments, you
(07:04):
know, that kind of thing. So all of that got added to it.
So in truth, the plan didn't work the way we sat down and
made it. But what worked is the fact that
throughout it, we continued to communicate.
We continue to talk about it. And out of that, when the
coaching started happening again, there we were
communicating together and saying, wait a minute, maybe
(07:27):
this thing that we're doing, helping other people could turn
into a business. My wife 100% is part of the
business now. She's the silent partner.
She doesn't like to be on stage.She doesn't like to talk.
She kind of does it from the back of the room, you know, that
kind of thing. But she's 100% part of the
business, supports what I do as a coach is my sounding board, my
(07:47):
partner. So I get that idea of, you know,
going into business with somebody and, and again, whether
it's a partner in terms of your spouse or whether it's a partner
in terms of a partner. The key to all of that is around
that idea of communication and opening it up.
And then as you get clear on things, putting a plan in place,
executing on the plan with the realization that it is not going
(08:08):
to work the way you had planned.But the truth is, having the
plan lets you then adjust and modify and what I call refocus
so that you can gain control again and set a new plan and
then just keep moving forward. I I love it.
So I have another question basedon this.
How powerful do you think your thoughts are when it comes to,
(08:30):
you know, creating this? Because, you know, from a lot of
the things that I learned and I teach is, you know, your
thoughts really create your reality and hearing some of the
things that you were experiencing.
Yeah. No one can tell you that you
shouldn't feel the way that you do.
And, you know, when we're experiencing the things
ourselves, we take it how we feel, you know, so, so in your
experience, you know, and, and just based on everything you
(08:53):
you've been able to create, how much weight do you put on
thoughts? And yeah, talk a little bit
about that. So I look at it as a feedback
loop and, and here's what I mean.
I, I think people will ask, you know, which comes first action
or belief. And I think the answer is yes.
You know, it's a, it's not really an either or because I
(09:13):
think it's a circle, you know, you, you believe something.
So you, you act in a certain way, you, you have certain
thoughts and those create certain behaviors and then those
behaviors reinforce those thoughts, which then create new
behaviors which reinforce, you know, and you're kind of in this
loop. Now here's the thing that can
work for you or against you if you believe things that are
(09:38):
helpful and hopeful and drive you forward and, and you have
this sense of I'm content. I, I like who I am.
I like where I am, I like what Ido, But that doesn't mean that I
don't want to drive for more, you know, and more doesn't
necessarily mean more money or more responsibility.
It just means more in your life,more of the things that you
(10:00):
truly value, The why behind the what.
You know, money is a what. The why is more important than
the what. Because people, why do people
want money? They want money for freedom, for
flexibility, the for safety, for, you know, that's what they
really want. The money is just the tool to
get there. So having your own career, why
do you want your own career? Usually people say for certain
(10:23):
things, you know, why do you want your own business?
There's a list. Those are the whys and those are
the things that drive you. And again, that gets back to
that belief. So if they're hopeful and
they're helpful, it's a positivefeedback loop.
If they're not hopeful and helpful, it's a negative
feedback loop. So if you have language in your
own mind that tells you things like I'm lazy, I'll never be
(10:46):
able to do this, I'm a failure, you know, I'm a loser, whatever.
Then you begin to act it that way, which reinforces that
belief. So which is more important,
change how you act or change howyou believe?
Well, they're connected. So start, you know, if if if
you're working with somebody that can help you work on the
belief side, great. If you're working with somebody
(11:08):
that can help you take action, great.
Because either way, you'll startfeeding back and changing the
direction of that momentum in a positive direction.
You know, that's where you get the advice like, hey, if you
want to be a writer, start writing.
Yeah. And there and there's truth to
that in terms of the action because it reinforces belief.
So how important is is it? It's it's 100% important and so
(11:32):
is action. You know, it's not a 5050, it's
a hundred, a hundred because they feedback into each other.
I and I love this. And you know, I heard something
recently where the guy was saying, you know, 99% of the
success that people create are the thoughts, the beliefs, the
habits, right? It's, it's more internal.
And if you can't really even conceptualize success, you have
(11:54):
one side that's believing and then you have the other side
that's doubting. And then they just cancel each
other out and people stay in their situation.
So for someone that is really trying to better their life,
they know they want more, right?They, they see it.
Maybe they, you know, they dreamabout it, but they aren't really
getting the reinforcement or thesigns of it.
(12:18):
Where would you start with them to really start taking things
step by step and moving it in that direction of, you know,
really creating the life that they want?
So the first thing is getting clear on what that means.
So a lot of times we'll say things like I want to be more
successful or I want to be happier.
(12:39):
Great. And and we think we're being
real clear. Like, you know, I can tell you,
hey, I want you to help me be successful.
And in my head, I've just painted a very clear picture for
you of what I'm after. The truth is, you have no idea.
You know, because you know what your definition is successful
is, but you don't know mine. And the truth is, most of us
(13:02):
actually don't know our own definition of something like
success. We've never stopped to think
about it. We've never stopped to put a
picture around what it does it look for success.
You know what, What would that look like?
What would that feel like? What would that smell like?
What would it mean in my finances?
What would it mean in my career?What would it mean in my
(13:24):
relationships? Because that's the truth too.
We're not little buckets. We're a whole person.
We have all of this stuff in ourlife and a lot of times we think
about success. We just think about something
like career in business. But if you have a great career
or you have a wonderful businessand you've been divorced 7
times, you know, and have no happiness in your relationships,
(13:48):
are you really successful? You know, Well, some people
would say yes and other people would be like, Oh no, absolutely
not. That's a very important part of
my success. So getting clear on what do you
mean when you say you want to have more in your life is kind
of the most important step. Now, a quick exercise that you
could do to give you some inkling.
(14:09):
And this is really a two-part exercise I share.
This is one of the resources that people can get that we'll
share at the end of the show. But the the first part is
looking backwards. I'm going to skip that for now
and I'm going to talk about the looking forward step.
So looking forward is about kindof knowing your destination,
knowing your map, just like Agps.
The truth is if you put in a, a,an address and your GPS, the way
(14:31):
it draws the map is it goes to the end of the map where you
want to go and then it draws theroute backwards to where you
are. OK, It, it starts from your
destination. We have to do the same thing
with our mind and our behavior. We have to start from the
destination. So quick exercise.
I set this in an airport earlieryou heard me mention I spent a
lot of times at airports. This is in honor of that period
(14:53):
of my life. Imagine for a minute you've been
on one of those trips. It is five years from today.
You've gone off on the airport, you've flown to somewhere.
Now you're flying home and you know how a lot of times you have
that airport that you land in and then you connect to another
plane and then you fly home. So you've landed in that
connecting airport and you try to cross the airport real quick
(15:13):
looking for your gate. You find the new gate, you look
up at it and there's those dreaded words, flight delayed.
It's like, hey, yay. So you go up and you, how long
is the flight delayed? 4 hours.
So you're now stuck in that middle airport, that liminal
space in the middle of nowhere for four hours.
So you do what anyone does when they're stuck in an airport for
four hours. Depending on your particular
(15:36):
kind of poison and the time of day, you either go find a bar or
a restaurant. You know you're either going to
go grab a bite to eat or grab something to drink.
Now I'm a teetotaler, so I'm going to go to the restaurant.
Imagine you're walking into thatrestaurant five years from
today. You're stuck there for four
hours, and as you walk in, you hear a voice from across the
restaurant. Hey, how you doing?
You look over and there's a friend of yours that had they
(15:58):
moved away and you haven't seen him for three or four years.
They moved away. You got busy, they got busy.
You've talked every once in a while on the phone, but you
really haven't stayed in touch. They're like, how are you doing?
You're like, I'm doing fantastic, how are you?
Turns out you're both stuck in the airport for three or four
hours. So you go grab a corner table.
You sit down and your friend looks at you and looks you in
(16:19):
the eye and goes, man, it is so great to see.
You haven't seen you for five years.
You look fantastic. How has life been going for you?
And you look at your friend and you go, you know what?
These last five years have been the best five years of my life
because now that's your job. Write what comes after the word
because or take a a voice recorder and go for a walk and
(16:43):
talk about it. What would your relationships
look like? What would your career look
like? What would your business look
like? What would your your life look
like? What would your finances be
like? What would all of those
different components of your life, your, your health, your
your Wellness, your ability to to do things?
Where would you be living? What would it look like?
(17:05):
What would it feel like? Paint a really good picture of
what would make you honestly tell somebody.
Man, these have been the best five years of my life and mean
it because now all of a sudden that becomes that road map and
that destination. That becomes that point that you
can point the GPS at and go. That's kind of the direction I
(17:26):
want to head. Obviously, there's a lot of work
to put that into place and to begin to move that direction.
And guess what? It's not going to work out
exactly. The you'll see earlier comment,
the plans not going to work exactly the way you plan.
Odds are good some things that are going to happen that are
going to be bad and some things that are going to happen that
are going to be great because that's just the way life is.
But by having that direction, you now can work backwards and
(17:49):
go, what is the smallest action I can take today?
What's the belief I have to have?
What's the behavior I have to have?
What's the habits, the skills orwhatever to begin moving in that
direction? And that gives you that
direction to move in. Yeah, this is this is going to
hit home for a lot of people because it's to your same point,
(18:13):
everyone's end result or you know, dream scenario looks very
different. And so, you know, you can take
the picture, yeah, you you can paint a picture of like, oh,
I've generated X amount of millions or I got my dream body
or I have my dream relationship.And for some people, it's going
to resonate. For other people, it won't,
right? And so I love hear what you're
really you, you light up, right?You're obviously very passionate
(18:34):
about this stuff. And one of the keywords that
I've heard you say throughout, you know, this interview so far
is talent. Why do you focus so much on
helping people find their talent?
What does that mean to you? And you know why is that such an
important maybe like key phrase or key thing key attribute for
someone? And thank you for asking that
(18:57):
because I think there's a lot ofconfusion sometimes.
So I'm I'm going to switch to a slightly different word, but
it's related. And that word is calling.
Earlier I said career and business, but there's also this
thing that we call calling and, and what's interesting is we use
a lot of times the word calling to talk about our career.
(19:19):
But the truth is that talent that you're talking about, to
me, it's bigger than just our career.
It's bigger than just what we dofor a living.
It's, it's bigger than just the our gifts, if that makes sense.
The things that we're good at, you know, because trust me,
every one of you has things, every single person has things
that they're really good at. And usually by the way, you
(19:40):
don't know what they are becausethey come easy to you.
And other people are like, dude,it's so impressive when you do
XYZ and you're like, what are you talking about?
That simple. Everyone can do that, you know,
and we dismiss our own abilities.
So it's not any of that stuff. It's all of that stuff.
But it's also more. So what's interesting is the
word career. The root word for career is the
(20:01):
root word for cart. So a career is like a cart.
It's a mode of transportation, something that gets you from
point A to point B. OK, that's the thing in modern
parlance that usually pays US money.
You know that? That's our career.
But Our Calling, the root word is actually the word vocation.
(20:22):
We use the word vocation in career as if they're synonyms.
They're not. They're completely different
words. Vocation has the same root word
as vocal or vocalization. It means to be called, it means
to have something outside of you, something bigger than you
(20:42):
give you a direction or, or a passion or a, a purpose that
isn't just you. So all of a sudden it's not the
I want to make $1,000,000 thing anymore.
It's the but why do you want to make $1,000,000?
What impact do you want to have on the world?
How do you want to change other people's lives now, By the way,
(21:04):
that's the way to make $1,000,000.
You know, real truth is if you want to be a millionaire, go
impact other people because that's where you'll actually get
paid. And so your career and your
calling could be the same, but they also could be completely
different too. It's OK that they're not
identical. I actually know some people that
have a career that pays them very well so that they have the
(21:28):
freedom to go over here and do things that they're truly feel
called to do. Maybe a nonprofit, maybe run a
foundation, you know, something that it's not going to pay them,
you know, but they can do that because this other thing is the
engine that drives it. So they don't have to be the
same. That's one of the confusions
that we have is we put our talent, we say, OK, that's what
(21:50):
I do and what I get paid for. It's like, well, that's a small
sliver of your talent bucket. It's it's all of that stuff.
So then people go, OK, well thenhow do I know what that is?
Here's the bad news. You don't, OK, you discover it.
It's not a no thing. It's literally something that
(22:10):
you have to begin to uncover over time and it takes action to
uncover it because what happens is we do things, we get
feedback, we get feelings, we get motivation, we get
connection. You talked about I light up.
You find the things that you go,man, when I talk about this, I
light up, you know, and everyonearound you is going, dude,
(22:32):
whatever it is, you know, you'redrinking right now.
We want some of it because you know, you, you got, you're on
fire. What's going on?
And but you don't find that because it comes down like from
above with this lightning bolt and says, this is what you are.
You discover it by going out andexperimenting and playing and
uncover it. And it's why it's a journey.
It's not a destination. It's not like you have a
(22:54):
calling. It's you find your calling or
you discover your calling or youuncover your calling cuz it kind
of shifts and changes in some ways as you get more experience
and more knowledge and more understanding over time.
I love the way that you put thatbecause you're right, you don't
(23:17):
really, it's more something thatyou stumble upon.
And I, I used to say this a lot where, you know, some of the
best things that ever happened to me in my life were things
that were unexpected. And you know, that's a lot of
what it is like I want this thing.
So I'm taking action towards. And all of a sudden this little,
you know, thing came up or this person came into my awareness
or, you know, anything like thatwhere it's just like, I wasn't
(23:39):
really even expecting it. And so I, I, you kind of touched
on it. But if someone right now is in a
job or a business, we're in a relationship that, you know,
they're, they're kind of maybe feeling a little bit heavy with
it. What would you recommend with
that? Is it really understand why
you're feeling that way and thenwork towards it?
(24:01):
Is it, you know, get clear on your goals and your vision and
you know, the things will weed themselves out?
I mean, I know they're all different with regards to like a
relationship or a job or a business.
But I mean, again, what would bethat next thing for them if
they're really wrestling with like, a lot of internal turmoil
and they want to, you know, get rid of that and then move to
(24:23):
that next piece? So I think for most of us, we
simultaneously want to externalize things like that.
In other words, this relationship is bad because of
them. This job is bad because I work
for a bad boss, this, you know, whatever it is.
And and by the way, I'm not evensaying that that's not got some
(24:44):
truth to it. It certainly may have some truth
to it. It may even be 100% true.
But you can't change that other person.
You can't make your boss be a better boss.
You, you, you just can't. Now you can do things to create
an environment where hopefully they'll learn to be a better
boss, you know? But you can't really make them
(25:06):
change. The only thing you have control
over is yourself, your own thoughts, your own actions, your
own behaviors. So you're right, it is getting
clear. What do I actually want?
What is the purpose behind what I'm doing and why I'm doing it?
Because here's the thing. I have seen people have a job
that they absolutely detest. And they're like, I want to quit
(25:29):
this job. I want to get out of it.
But then we get clear on their why.
And all of a sudden they're like, you know what?
This job is actually moving me closer to what I really
ultimately want. And yeah, it may really stink
today, you know, but it is worthholding my nose and working
through it and. And yeah, because now I've got a
(25:50):
reason to be here. It's no longer I'm stuck in this
dead end job. It's I've chosen to continue to
work here for X amount of time or to get this thing or to save
up a certain amount of money or to whatever it is.
Or I want to start a business onthe side and grow it until it's
big enough and then I can quit. Whatever.
You've got a purpose. And it drives the action.
(26:12):
Now all of a sudden it's like, Oh yeah, you show up for work
and everybody's miserable and you're like, la, la, la, la, you
know? And it was like, what's going,
dude, what have you been smoking?
How did you, you know what's going on?
And it's like it's because you, you, you care big enough about
something else that you stop caring in a way about the fact
(26:34):
that this is a bad thing. It's no longer miserable because
it has purpose behind it. And, and again, that sometimes,
by the way, leaving the job or, or the relationship is the exact
right thing to do. So this is not a stay stuck at a
dead end job and you know, suck it up or whatever.
It's a get clear on why you are leaving if you're going to leave
(26:55):
or why you're staying. If you're going to stay, get
clear on the why behind it. And then the what it becomes
very clear and you can build towards that, what you can take
the time it needs, you can push through it because you got a big
enough why to drive it. So I would say the first step is
always getting back in touch with what is your ultimate goal,
(27:17):
What is your why that five year exercise we talked about
earlier, all of those sorts of things.
Because then the choices you make are the best choices that
you can make to drive you towards that, and they have a
purpose behind it. Yeah, it kind of reminds me of,
you know, the idea that events that happen, they're neither
(27:39):
good nor bad. We put the the meaning towards
it, right? And Yep, you know, when you know
your why, you know the directionyou're headed, Sometimes
something that you feel might bea bad thing actually is for your
best intention, right? And that's why I always like to
allude to, you know, your mindset, your thoughts, your
beliefs, and like really knowingwhat you're working towards.
(28:00):
Because if you don't know what you're working, not my favorite
analogy of this is like, imaginethere's like a little Scott in
the, you know, in the middle of the ocean with a paddle and a
boat. And you know, you're seeing, you
know, this, this goal, this dream, whether it's a financial
goal, you see it over here at the island.
So you start paddling towards the little island.
And then next thing you know, there's, you know, a dream
person for you on this side. And you're like, you know what,
(28:22):
I'd prefer that. And then you start going that
way. And what ends up happening is
because we don't have a chief aim or a direction for our life
and where we want to go, we justend up circling and not really
making any progress. So I love that a lot of this is
really understanding the why, understanding what it is,
because only until you have the clarity, you can't really make
educated decisions. We're just kind of throwing
(28:44):
spaghetti at the wall. And so I see this and I really
want to touch quickly on, you know, what is stewardship
coaching? What is that?
What is it that you're currentlydoing with it?
And you know, what are you? Yeah.
What are you working on today with your coaching business?
Sure, absolutely. So I, I'm the one, to my
(29:05):
knowledge, at least for me, I'm the one that came up with the
title of stewardship coaching. I'm sure there's other people
out there that use the word, butso stewardship in a lot of
circles, you know, in a church environment, that kind of thing,
it it's kind of an old fashionedword.
And what it boils down to is back in the day, right, there
(29:26):
was a Lord of a castle and they owned a bunch of land and they
owned, you know, all of the people that worked on the land
kind of worked for them, you know, the feudal kind of
relationship picture, that kind of thing.
But the truth is the the Lord, the guy who ran the castle, you
know, he was not going to run all of the minutiae of running
the castle. He was too busy out, you know,
(29:47):
hunting boars and flying Hawks and doing, you know, he, he was
living a life of leisure. You know, he's not going to do
all the the hard work. So they would appoint somebody
as the steward over the castle. So think of the steward as sort
of like the the, the manager. They were the person that ran
all the day-to-day stuff. They controlled money coming in
(30:09):
and out, they controlled property, they controlled what
people were doing. They had all of this authority,
but they didn't own anything. The Lord owned it all.
So in religious circles, obviously this has an analogy
and, and I do work with a lot ofpeople of faith, you know,
different faith beliefs where this aligns with them.
This idea of our job is to take care of the things that we've
(30:31):
been given and blessed not just for ourselves but for the wider
world, for the wider impact to to make a positive change on the
world. And that that kind of
relationship is called stewardship.
It's the idea that these things aren't just mine.
I don't own them, even though I've given responsibility over
(30:53):
them. So I'm given the responsibility
for my wife, my business, my child, my relationships, my
attitude, my whatever, but I don't actually own it.
And what it does is it lets you hold things with an open hand
where you get the concept of rather than grabbing tight of
everything and trying to hold onto it, you can hold it open and
go, it's mine to manage. But at the end of the day, I
(31:16):
don't own it. I'm, you know, I'm just the
temporary holder of it. And it kind of changes your
mindset and how you look at things.
And so stewardship coaching is this idea of getting our mindset
in that frame as a business owner.
That's who I work with mainly assmall business owners.
A lot of times there's somebody making a transition from
(31:37):
corporate into a business. And we try to help you get your
your time, your talent and your treasures, right.
Remember what I said earlier, really we only work on talent.
But usually you think the problem is time and money.
You know, it's the guy who started a business and hasn't
been able to pay himself for three years.
It's like, OK, let's figure that's not really a business
yet. You know, that's a hobby, you
(31:58):
know, so let's turn it into a business if that's what you want
to do. If that's your why and your
passion and your drive, let's figure out how to do that.
And usually the problem is showing up in time and money.
But the real problem is between our ears and in our heart.
It's the attitude towards which we hold the business and the
beliefs by which we hold around the business and that power of
(32:19):
choice and that power of making decision.
When we get that right, all the sudden the time and the money
take care of themselves. And so there's a lot of
different tools and techniques Iuse around that.
It's, you know, it's something that I've been working on 35
years. So my mother says that I started
coaching when I was 8. You know, I was always kind of
that mindset. I just didn't know what to call
(32:39):
it. And now I've started calling it
stewardship coaching because that sort of has that resonating
idea of we're the the manager ofthese resources and these
blessings, but we're not the owner.
Yeah, I love that because I knowa lot of people that have
possessions and they almost there.
We kind of touched on this before, but when you were
talking about the career, it's like, you know, who are you?
(33:01):
And it's like, oh, I'm you know,this career title and it's like,
that's not who you are, that's your title.
And so with this the the same thing, a lot of us, you know,
maybe base our identity based onthe things that we have.
And so I love the the concept behind, you know, we're just
here responsible of it for now, but it's not ours indefinitely.
And it is it's a free mindset tohave, you know, when you can
(33:24):
really embody that and you know,own it your, your attitude and
mentality, Of course, it lets you become.
Content and, and again, I used that word earlier, the idea of
contentment is because a lot of times people hear the word
contentment and they think, oh, that means you're not driven.
You're you're just kind of stuckwhere you are, whatever.
That's actually not true. The word for that is complacent.
(33:47):
So complacent is when I feel stuck, I feel broke.
You know, I feel trapped in a dead end relationship or dead
end job. That's complacency, right?
I'm, I'm trapped. I'm stuck.
Contentment is I love where I'm at.
I love the good about it. I love the bad about it.
I'm, I'm not ignorant of the fact that there's bad stuff and
(34:08):
I'll even work to change that bad stuff, but I'm still content
with who I am and where I am andwhat I am because I know who I
am and what I am. And you know, I, because I have
that knowledge, I can be contentin where I'm at even while I'm
working to change it and to move, you know.
So again, back to that job situation.
When you have the why you're no longer quote stuck in a dead end
(34:30):
job, even if you choose to stay there, you know, because it's
not stuck anymore. You've made an active choice.
And so contentment is that ability to have that power of
choice, whether things are good,whether things are bad, you
still recognize the power that you do have, which is always the
power of choice because we sell ourselves short.
We take away our power of choice.
(34:51):
People say things all the time. I had to do that, You know, I
had no choice. You had a choice because let's
face it, if I took every single one, you that's listening right
now that you've got these Earpods in and you're listening.
If I, and this is going to be a horrible example, but go with
me. If I held a gun to your head and
(35:12):
I said, hey, you're going to have to do this or I'm going to
shoot you, There are probably some things that you would do.
If I said do this or else I shoot you, you'd be absolutely,
I'll do it. No problem.
Here's my wallet, you know, no problem.
You want my wallet. There are other things though,
that if I said, hey, you're going to have to do this or I'm
going to shoot you, you'd look at me and go, dude, you're going
to have to shoot me. I'm not going to do it.
(35:32):
So even in that extreme of a situation, you actually have the
power of choice, not the guy with the gun.
'Cause you could. Say, I'll do it or I won't do
it. And you know the consequences of
that. We always have the power of
choice. And yet we give it up all the
time. And we use our language.
We lose our beliefs and we say things like, I have to.
(35:55):
I'm stuck. I'm, you know, I had no choice.
Yeah, you did own it. Even if it was a bad choice, you
still had a choice, you know. And so you know that that's that
ownership mentality. That's the thing that you do
own. You don't own your stuff, right.
And and I love. That because that's a big,
(36:15):
again, another big maybe pillar to a lot of the things that I
preach is having ownership, unreal ownership on the things
that happened in your life. You know, you get rear-ended,
you still take ownership of it because only when you take
ownership of things that happened can you actually
influence the outcomes and you know, change a lot of the things
on the outside. So 2 questions left for you,
(36:37):
Scott, this has been incredible.But one, I guess the, the second
last question here, what are youcurrently working towards?
So you obviously have your coaching practice, like, I mean,
what is, do you have a goal thatyou're working towards?
Do you have like a main thing like what is on the horizon for
you in your current situation? I'm always.
Looking for more coaching clients, you know, I've worked
(36:58):
with over 1000 clients in 20 countries, 38 states.
I work with folks all over the world.
Turns out people are people no matter where you are, you know,
so it's like if, if we can understand each other, I could
we work together, but the so that's definitely part of it.
I also had a book come out last year called Inspired Living.
And so of course I'm out promoting that and, and looking
(37:18):
for stages to get on and places to talk about that as well.
But you know, honestly, I, I'm in a place in my business where
I don't have a big like, oh, I want to be $1,000,000 business
next year or you know, those sorts of things.
It, it is much more about I wantto make an impact.
I want to help people. So if I can do that through
one-on-one coachings, through workshops, through speaking,
(37:41):
that's all the how, you know, the why behind it is I want to
make an impact on helping other people live an intentional
inspired life. I love that.
And so if people want to learn more about you, maybe the
offerings, if you have free offerings, things like that,
where can people go to find moreabout you?
(38:02):
Absolutely. So I put together a resource
page just for your listeners andyou can find that over at
inspiredstewardship.com, which is my website.
And then just put in forward slash dark.
And what you'll find there is there's some free resources you
can just download. You can put in your e-mail and
download. There's information about the
book I just mentioned, as well as my own podcast called
(38:23):
Inspired Stewardship and severalother things.
You can find a link to buy the book and all of that and again,
all of that. And there's also a link if you
want to set up a quick call and have a conversation with me, you
can jump on a a call with me andyou can find all of that over at
inspiredstewardship.com. And then forward slash dark.
Incredible. Thank you so much, Scott.
(38:45):
This has been a fantastic conversation.
And of course, to the audience, this was Scott Mater,
Stewardship coach. And you seen here today how
knowing your talents, your treasures could really move your
life in that direction that you want to go, whatever direction
it is that you want for you. So thank you so much for tuning
(39:07):
in. And as always, I'll catch you on
the next one. If you enjoy today's episode,
please like, comment, share, subscribe to it all.
You know I appreciate it. And as always, I'll catch you on
the next.
Hello, hello, welcome in. If you're here listening to this
podcast, that means you're destined for something great,
and we both know it to be true. So without further ado, welcome
to the Dark Matter Podcast. Hello, hello and welcome back to
(00:36):
the Dark Matter Podcast for inspired creators.
Today I have an exciting interview with Scott Mader.
His professional title is a stewardship coach and although
he specializes in a ton of different things from
productivity and time managementall the way down to finances,
(00:58):
today we're going to talk about how to find clarity on your
desired impact. This has been something that has
come up a lot. I always get so much feedback on
it. So we brought in a professional.
So without further ado, Scott, how are you?
Welcome to the podcast and yes, if you could just a quick by a
little bit about yourself to introduce yourself to the
(01:20):
audience. Sure, absolutely.
I I'm doing awesome and thanks so much for having me on today.
I appreciate it. Hope it brings value to the
listener. So I was an educator.
I did that for 16 years. I taught science in the great
state of Texas, or not so great of state of Texas, depending on
how you feel about the state of Texas, I guess.
But I, I did that for 16 years, taught middle school, taught
(01:43):
high school, was really involvedin science reform and teacher
education and improving science in the state.
Eventually I left. That kicked around in a couple
of different things for a while and then eventually got hired by
an educational testing company. And in other words, I went from
teaching to testing. My students said I joined the
(02:03):
dark side, but yeah, but whatever.
So I started doing that, worked myself up into an executive
position. There I was, what they call a
senior director. Ran a fairly large team of
leaders, and then folks reporting to those leaders.
Spent a lot of time on airplanes, at airports and in
hotel rooms and conference roomsand on the road all the time.
(02:24):
Did that for 11 years, Loved that as well.
I love teaching. I love that.
And the parts that I always loved was the pouring into and
developing others, whether that was the students, whether that
was the leaders in the company, whether that was the client, you
know, all of that kind of work. And eventually my wife and I
went through our own particular journey of dealing with
(02:45):
financial stress. I was suicidal because of
finances. We nearly got divorced because
of finances and as we changed our life and started living in a
really weird different way, people started coming up to us
and going, y'all are weird. Do you think you could help me
be weird? And so from that the coaching
business was born. And so while I was kind of
(03:06):
climbing the corporate ladder, Iwas starting this coaching
business on the side. And it evolved over time,
started with finances, and then I added in time and
productivity. And now I've kind of coalesced
and realized that time and moneytypically are the symptom.
And the real problem is what I call talent, which is that ideal
(03:26):
of finding what is Our Calling? What is our passion?
How do we make an impact? What do we do to both live out
what we're designed and built todo and make a big impact on the
world. And so, you know, I jokingly
say, yeah, I tell people I do productivity and money.
But the real truth is, all we ever do is talent.
Because how you handle your time, how you handle your money,
is really all about how you handle for yourself.
(03:49):
That's that's incredible. And there's so much, you know,
after hearing this, I I want to dive into and of course, I do
want to get into stewardship coaching and your coaching and
your current offerings. But before we do, I think there
is a little bit I want to dive into.
So of course you kind of mentioned that there's sometimes
there was a bit a rocky time, right, with, you know, you and
(04:10):
your wife. How did you work through that?
What were some of the things that you felt?
Because I know for me, as some of my listeners are maybe
starting a business with their partners, right?
Or they're trying to do something.
They're at that point where they're trying to get more.
They're past that comfortable stage, but they're not yet at
that new stage. So you know, there's a lot of
challenges that come up. So you, what were some of the
(04:32):
things that you experienced and you know, how did you guys get
on the same page and then, yeah,how did you build a plan for
success and then turn everythingaround?
You know, communication is key and kind of really looking at it
again, money was the symptom forus.
It wasn't actually the problem. The problem was communication.
(04:55):
At the end of the day, I was protecting my wife.
I think a lot of men do this. We see ourselves as the
provider, we see ourselves as the protector.
And I was shielding her from thedead and other things that were
going on. I, I made about $40,000 a year.
At that time. We had about $68,000 in debt.
You know, it's like, what are wedoing?
(05:15):
And that's where the suicidal feelings for me were coming from
because I felt like if I died, Iwas literally worth more than
when I was alive. And it's a policy.
I was telling myself this again,looking back on it now, I know
it wasn't true, but that's how it felt at the time.
And eventually some messaging came into my life that made me
(05:36):
realize that, hey, wait a minute.
You know, maybe there are some things I can do.
Maybe I have more control than Ifeel like I do.
Because the, the truth was wherethat feeling was coming from was
a feeling of hopelessness, right?
I, I can't do anything about this.
And so I was teaching when this started and my wife and I, I've
literally came clean. I went to sit down with my wife
(05:56):
and I said, hey, here's how I'vebeen feeling.
Here's what's going on. Now here's The funny thing.
My wife's a really smart lady. She actually knew all of this
already. And she's trying to shield me by
not adding to my stress by talking to me about it, right?
So we're each protecting the other one, which is making it
worse, you know? And when we sat down and came
(06:17):
clean, it's like, OK, well, do you think we can do something
about this? Yes.
OK, what can we do? And we started making a plan.
Now truth is the plan did not work the way we sat down and
made the plan. It it didn't I, I mentioned I we
had $68,000 worth of debt by theend of it.
We actually paid off $75,858.42.You'll notice that's more
(06:42):
because as we're going through all of this, I actually changed
jobs, I left teaching and, and like I said, did a few different
things for a while and then eventually went into the
corporate. I also ended up with a collapsed
lung twice, once in December, once in January.
Got to pay for all of that twiceon insurance.
Yay. You know, anyone who knows how
insurance works, it's like new cat, new year, new payments, you
(07:04):
know, that kind of thing. So all of that got added to it.
So in truth, the plan didn't work the way we sat down and
made it. But what worked is the fact that
throughout it, we continued to communicate.
We continue to talk about it. And out of that, when the
coaching started happening again, there we were
communicating together and saying, wait a minute, maybe
(07:27):
this thing that we're doing, helping other people could turn
into a business. My wife 100% is part of the
business now. She's the silent partner.
She doesn't like to be on stage.She doesn't like to talk.
She kind of does it from the back of the room, you know, that
kind of thing. But she's 100% part of the
business, supports what I do as a coach is my sounding board, my
(07:47):
partner. So I get that idea of, you know,
going into business with somebody and, and again, whether
it's a partner in terms of your spouse or whether it's a partner
in terms of a partner. The key to all of that is around
that idea of communication and opening it up.
And then as you get clear on things, putting a plan in place,
executing on the plan with the realization that it is not going
(08:08):
to work the way you had planned.But the truth is, having the
plan lets you then adjust and modify and what I call refocus
so that you can gain control again and set a new plan and
then just keep moving forward. I I love it.
So I have another question basedon this.
How powerful do you think your thoughts are when it comes to,
(08:30):
you know, creating this? Because, you know, from a lot of
the things that I learned and I teach is, you know, your
thoughts really create your reality and hearing some of the
things that you were experiencing.
Yeah. No one can tell you that you
shouldn't feel the way that you do.
And, you know, when we're experiencing the things
ourselves, we take it how we feel, you know, so, so in your
experience, you know, and, and just based on everything you
(08:53):
you've been able to create, how much weight do you put on
thoughts? And yeah, talk a little bit
about that. So I look at it as a feedback
loop and, and here's what I mean.
I, I think people will ask, you know, which comes first action
or belief. And I think the answer is yes.
You know, it's a, it's not really an either or because I
(09:13):
think it's a circle, you know, you, you believe something.
So you, you act in a certain way, you, you have certain
thoughts and those create certain behaviors and then those
behaviors reinforce those thoughts, which then create new
behaviors which reinforce, you know, and you're kind of in this
loop. Now here's the thing that can
work for you or against you if you believe things that are
(09:38):
helpful and hopeful and drive you forward and, and you have
this sense of I'm content. I, I like who I am.
I like where I am, I like what Ido, But that doesn't mean that I
don't want to drive for more, you know, and more doesn't
necessarily mean more money or more responsibility.
It just means more in your life,more of the things that you
(10:00):
truly value, The why behind the what.
You know, money is a what. The why is more important than
the what. Because people, why do people
want money? They want money for freedom, for
flexibility, the for safety, for, you know, that's what they
really want. The money is just the tool to
get there. So having your own career, why
do you want your own career? Usually people say for certain
(10:23):
things, you know, why do you want your own business?
There's a list. Those are the whys and those are
the things that drive you. And again, that gets back to
that belief. So if they're hopeful and
they're helpful, it's a positivefeedback loop.
If they're not hopeful and helpful, it's a negative
feedback loop. So if you have language in your
own mind that tells you things like I'm lazy, I'll never be
(10:46):
able to do this, I'm a failure, you know, I'm a loser, whatever.
Then you begin to act it that way, which reinforces that
belief. So which is more important,
change how you act or change howyou believe?
Well, they're connected. So start, you know, if if if
you're working with somebody that can help you work on the
belief side, great. If you're working with somebody
(11:08):
that can help you take action, great.
Because either way, you'll startfeeding back and changing the
direction of that momentum in a positive direction.
You know, that's where you get the advice like, hey, if you
want to be a writer, start writing.
Yeah. And there and there's truth to
that in terms of the action because it reinforces belief.
So how important is is it? It's it's 100% important and so
(11:32):
is action. You know, it's not a 5050, it's
a hundred, a hundred because they feedback into each other.
I and I love this. And you know, I heard something
recently where the guy was saying, you know, 99% of the
success that people create are the thoughts, the beliefs, the
habits, right? It's, it's more internal.
And if you can't really even conceptualize success, you have
(11:54):
one side that's believing and then you have the other side
that's doubting. And then they just cancel each
other out and people stay in their situation.
So for someone that is really trying to better their life,
they know they want more, right?They, they see it.
Maybe they, you know, they dreamabout it, but they aren't really
getting the reinforcement or thesigns of it.
(12:18):
Where would you start with them to really start taking things
step by step and moving it in that direction of, you know,
really creating the life that they want?
So the first thing is getting clear on what that means.
So a lot of times we'll say things like I want to be more
successful or I want to be happier.
(12:39):
Great. And and we think we're being
real clear. Like, you know, I can tell you,
hey, I want you to help me be successful.
And in my head, I've just painted a very clear picture for
you of what I'm after. The truth is, you have no idea.
You know, because you know what your definition is successful
is, but you don't know mine. And the truth is, most of us
(13:02):
actually don't know our own definition of something like
success. We've never stopped to think
about it. We've never stopped to put a
picture around what it does it look for success.
You know what, What would that look like?
What would that feel like? What would that smell like?
What would it mean in my finances?
What would it mean in my career?What would it mean in my
(13:24):
relationships? Because that's the truth too.
We're not little buckets. We're a whole person.
We have all of this stuff in ourlife and a lot of times we think
about success. We just think about something
like career in business. But if you have a great career
or you have a wonderful businessand you've been divorced 7
times, you know, and have no happiness in your relationships,
(13:48):
are you really successful? You know, Well, some people
would say yes and other people would be like, Oh no, absolutely
not. That's a very important part of
my success. So getting clear on what do you
mean when you say you want to have more in your life is kind
of the most important step. Now, a quick exercise that you
could do to give you some inkling.
(14:09):
And this is really a two-part exercise I share.
This is one of the resources that people can get that we'll
share at the end of the show. But the the first part is
looking backwards. I'm going to skip that for now
and I'm going to talk about the looking forward step.
So looking forward is about kindof knowing your destination,
knowing your map, just like Agps.
The truth is if you put in a, a,an address and your GPS, the way
(14:31):
it draws the map is it goes to the end of the map where you
want to go and then it draws theroute backwards to where you
are. OK, It, it starts from your
destination. We have to do the same thing
with our mind and our behavior. We have to start from the
destination. So quick exercise.
I set this in an airport earlieryou heard me mention I spent a
lot of times at airports. This is in honor of that period
(14:53):
of my life. Imagine for a minute you've been
on one of those trips. It is five years from today.
You've gone off on the airport, you've flown to somewhere.
Now you're flying home and you know how a lot of times you have
that airport that you land in and then you connect to another
plane and then you fly home. So you've landed in that
connecting airport and you try to cross the airport real quick
(15:13):
looking for your gate. You find the new gate, you look
up at it and there's those dreaded words, flight delayed.
It's like, hey, yay. So you go up and you, how long
is the flight delayed? 4 hours.
So you're now stuck in that middle airport, that liminal
space in the middle of nowhere for four hours.
So you do what anyone does when they're stuck in an airport for
four hours. Depending on your particular
(15:36):
kind of poison and the time of day, you either go find a bar or
a restaurant. You know you're either going to
go grab a bite to eat or grab something to drink.
Now I'm a teetotaler, so I'm going to go to the restaurant.
Imagine you're walking into thatrestaurant five years from
today. You're stuck there for four
hours, and as you walk in, you hear a voice from across the
restaurant. Hey, how you doing?
You look over and there's a friend of yours that had they
(15:58):
moved away and you haven't seen him for three or four years.
They moved away. You got busy, they got busy.
You've talked every once in a while on the phone, but you
really haven't stayed in touch. They're like, how are you doing?
You're like, I'm doing fantastic, how are you?
Turns out you're both stuck in the airport for three or four
hours. So you go grab a corner table.
You sit down and your friend looks at you and looks you in
(16:19):
the eye and goes, man, it is so great to see.
You haven't seen you for five years.
You look fantastic. How has life been going for you?
And you look at your friend and you go, you know what?
These last five years have been the best five years of my life
because now that's your job. Write what comes after the word
because or take a a voice recorder and go for a walk and
(16:43):
talk about it. What would your relationships
look like? What would your career look
like? What would your business look
like? What would your your life look
like? What would your finances be
like? What would all of those
different components of your life, your, your health, your
your Wellness, your ability to to do things?
Where would you be living? What would it look like?
(17:05):
What would it feel like? Paint a really good picture of
what would make you honestly tell somebody.
Man, these have been the best five years of my life and mean
it because now all of a sudden that becomes that road map and
that destination. That becomes that point that you
can point the GPS at and go. That's kind of the direction I
(17:26):
want to head. Obviously, there's a lot of work
to put that into place and to begin to move that direction.
And guess what? It's not going to work out
exactly. The you'll see earlier comment,
the plans not going to work exactly the way you plan.
Odds are good some things that are going to happen that are
going to be bad and some things that are going to happen that
are going to be great because that's just the way life is.
But by having that direction, you now can work backwards and
(17:49):
go, what is the smallest action I can take today?
What's the belief I have to have?
What's the behavior I have to have?
What's the habits, the skills orwhatever to begin moving in that
direction? And that gives you that
direction to move in. Yeah, this is this is going to
hit home for a lot of people because it's to your same point,
(18:13):
everyone's end result or you know, dream scenario looks very
different. And so, you know, you can take
the picture, yeah, you you can paint a picture of like, oh,
I've generated X amount of millions or I got my dream body
or I have my dream relationship.And for some people, it's going
to resonate. For other people, it won't,
right? And so I love hear what you're
really you, you light up, right?You're obviously very passionate
(18:34):
about this stuff. And one of the keywords that
I've heard you say throughout, you know, this interview so far
is talent. Why do you focus so much on
helping people find their talent?
What does that mean to you? And you know why is that such an
important maybe like key phrase or key thing key attribute for
someone? And thank you for asking that
(18:57):
because I think there's a lot ofconfusion sometimes.
So I'm I'm going to switch to a slightly different word, but
it's related. And that word is calling.
Earlier I said career and business, but there's also this
thing that we call calling and, and what's interesting is we use
a lot of times the word calling to talk about our career.
(19:19):
But the truth is that talent that you're talking about, to
me, it's bigger than just our career.
It's bigger than just what we dofor a living.
It's, it's bigger than just the our gifts, if that makes sense.
The things that we're good at, you know, because trust me,
every one of you has things, every single person has things
that they're really good at. And usually by the way, you
(19:40):
don't know what they are becausethey come easy to you.
And other people are like, dude,it's so impressive when you do
XYZ and you're like, what are you talking about?
That simple. Everyone can do that, you know,
and we dismiss our own abilities.
So it's not any of that stuff. It's all of that stuff.
But it's also more. So what's interesting is the
word career. The root word for career is the
(20:01):
root word for cart. So a career is like a cart.
It's a mode of transportation, something that gets you from
point A to point B. OK, that's the thing in modern
parlance that usually pays US money.
You know that? That's our career.
But Our Calling, the root word is actually the word vocation.
(20:22):
We use the word vocation in career as if they're synonyms.
They're not. They're completely different
words. Vocation has the same root word
as vocal or vocalization. It means to be called, it means
to have something outside of you, something bigger than you
(20:42):
give you a direction or, or a passion or a, a purpose that
isn't just you. So all of a sudden it's not the
I want to make $1,000,000 thing anymore.
It's the but why do you want to make $1,000,000?
What impact do you want to have on the world?
How do you want to change other people's lives now, By the way,
(21:04):
that's the way to make $1,000,000.
You know, real truth is if you want to be a millionaire, go
impact other people because that's where you'll actually get
paid. And so your career and your
calling could be the same, but they also could be completely
different too. It's OK that they're not
identical. I actually know some people that
have a career that pays them very well so that they have the
(21:28):
freedom to go over here and do things that they're truly feel
called to do. Maybe a nonprofit, maybe run a
foundation, you know, something that it's not going to pay them,
you know, but they can do that because this other thing is the
engine that drives it. So they don't have to be the
same. That's one of the confusions
that we have is we put our talent, we say, OK, that's what
(21:50):
I do and what I get paid for. It's like, well, that's a small
sliver of your talent bucket. It's it's all of that stuff.
So then people go, OK, well thenhow do I know what that is?
Here's the bad news. You don't, OK, you discover it.
It's not a no thing. It's literally something that
(22:10):
you have to begin to uncover over time and it takes action to
uncover it because what happens is we do things, we get
feedback, we get feelings, we get motivation, we get
connection. You talked about I light up.
You find the things that you go,man, when I talk about this, I
light up, you know, and everyonearound you is going, dude,
(22:32):
whatever it is, you know, you'redrinking right now.
We want some of it because you know, you, you got, you're on
fire. What's going on?
And but you don't find that because it comes down like from
above with this lightning bolt and says, this is what you are.
You discover it by going out andexperimenting and playing and
uncover it. And it's why it's a journey.
It's not a destination. It's not like you have a
(22:54):
calling. It's you find your calling or
you discover your calling or youuncover your calling cuz it kind
of shifts and changes in some ways as you get more experience
and more knowledge and more understanding over time.
I love the way that you put thatbecause you're right, you don't
(23:17):
really, it's more something thatyou stumble upon.
And I, I used to say this a lot where, you know, some of the
best things that ever happened to me in my life were things
that were unexpected. And you know, that's a lot of
what it is like I want this thing.
So I'm taking action towards. And all of a sudden this little,
you know, thing came up or this person came into my awareness
or, you know, anything like thatwhere it's just like, I wasn't
(23:39):
really even expecting it. And so I, I, you kind of touched
on it. But if someone right now is in a
job or a business, we're in a relationship that, you know,
they're, they're kind of maybe feeling a little bit heavy with
it. What would you recommend with
that? Is it really understand why
you're feeling that way and thenwork towards it?
(24:01):
Is it, you know, get clear on your goals and your vision and
you know, the things will weed themselves out?
I mean, I know they're all different with regards to like a
relationship or a job or a business.
But I mean, again, what would bethat next thing for them if
they're really wrestling with like, a lot of internal turmoil
and they want to, you know, get rid of that and then move to
(24:23):
that next piece? So I think for most of us, we
simultaneously want to externalize things like that.
In other words, this relationship is bad because of
them. This job is bad because I work
for a bad boss, this, you know, whatever it is.
And and by the way, I'm not evensaying that that's not got some
(24:44):
truth to it. It certainly may have some truth
to it. It may even be 100% true.
But you can't change that other person.
You can't make your boss be a better boss.
You, you, you just can't. Now you can do things to create
an environment where hopefully they'll learn to be a better
boss, you know? But you can't really make them
(25:06):
change. The only thing you have control
over is yourself, your own thoughts, your own actions, your
own behaviors. So you're right, it is getting
clear. What do I actually want?
What is the purpose behind what I'm doing and why I'm doing it?
Because here's the thing. I have seen people have a job
that they absolutely detest. And they're like, I want to quit
(25:29):
this job. I want to get out of it.
But then we get clear on their why.
And all of a sudden they're like, you know what?
This job is actually moving me closer to what I really
ultimately want. And yeah, it may really stink
today, you know, but it is worthholding my nose and working
through it and. And yeah, because now I've got a
(25:50):
reason to be here. It's no longer I'm stuck in this
dead end job. It's I've chosen to continue to
work here for X amount of time or to get this thing or to save
up a certain amount of money or to whatever it is.
Or I want to start a business onthe side and grow it until it's
big enough and then I can quit. Whatever.
You've got a purpose. And it drives the action.
(26:12):
Now all of a sudden it's like, Oh yeah, you show up for work
and everybody's miserable and you're like, la, la, la, la, you
know? And it was like, what's going,
dude, what have you been smoking?
How did you, you know what's going on?
And it's like it's because you, you, you care big enough about
something else that you stop caring in a way about the fact
(26:34):
that this is a bad thing. It's no longer miserable because
it has purpose behind it. And, and again, that sometimes,
by the way, leaving the job or, or the relationship is the exact
right thing to do. So this is not a stay stuck at a
dead end job and you know, suck it up or whatever.
It's a get clear on why you are leaving if you're going to leave
(26:55):
or why you're staying. If you're going to stay, get
clear on the why behind it. And then the what it becomes
very clear and you can build towards that, what you can take
the time it needs, you can push through it because you got a big
enough why to drive it. So I would say the first step is
always getting back in touch with what is your ultimate goal,
(27:17):
What is your why that five year exercise we talked about
earlier, all of those sorts of things.
Because then the choices you make are the best choices that
you can make to drive you towards that, and they have a
purpose behind it. Yeah, it kind of reminds me of,
you know, the idea that events that happen, they're neither
(27:39):
good nor bad. We put the the meaning towards
it, right? And Yep, you know, when you know
your why, you know the directionyou're headed, Sometimes
something that you feel might bea bad thing actually is for your
best intention, right? And that's why I always like to
allude to, you know, your mindset, your thoughts, your
beliefs, and like really knowingwhat you're working towards.
(28:00):
Because if you don't know what you're working, not my favorite
analogy of this is like, imaginethere's like a little Scott in
the, you know, in the middle of the ocean with a paddle and a
boat. And you know, you're seeing, you
know, this, this goal, this dream, whether it's a financial
goal, you see it over here at the island.
So you start paddling towards the little island.
And then next thing you know, there's, you know, a dream
person for you on this side. And you're like, you know what,
(28:22):
I'd prefer that. And then you start going that
way. And what ends up happening is
because we don't have a chief aim or a direction for our life
and where we want to go, we justend up circling and not really
making any progress. So I love that a lot of this is
really understanding the why, understanding what it is,
because only until you have the clarity, you can't really make
educated decisions. We're just kind of throwing
(28:44):
spaghetti at the wall. And so I see this and I really
want to touch quickly on, you know, what is stewardship
coaching? What is that?
What is it that you're currentlydoing with it?
And you know, what are you? Yeah.
What are you working on today with your coaching business?
Sure, absolutely. So I, I'm the one, to my
(29:05):
knowledge, at least for me, I'm the one that came up with the
title of stewardship coaching. I'm sure there's other people
out there that use the word, butso stewardship in a lot of
circles, you know, in a church environment, that kind of thing,
it it's kind of an old fashionedword.
And what it boils down to is back in the day, right, there
(29:26):
was a Lord of a castle and they owned a bunch of land and they
owned, you know, all of the people that worked on the land
kind of worked for them, you know, the feudal kind of
relationship picture, that kind of thing.
But the truth is the the Lord, the guy who ran the castle, you
know, he was not going to run all of the minutiae of running
the castle. He was too busy out, you know,
(29:47):
hunting boars and flying Hawks and doing, you know, he, he was
living a life of leisure. You know, he's not going to do
all the the hard work. So they would appoint somebody
as the steward over the castle. So think of the steward as sort
of like the the, the manager. They were the person that ran
all the day-to-day stuff. They controlled money coming in
(30:09):
and out, they controlled property, they controlled what
people were doing. They had all of this authority,
but they didn't own anything. The Lord owned it all.
So in religious circles, obviously this has an analogy
and, and I do work with a lot ofpeople of faith, you know,
different faith beliefs where this aligns with them.
This idea of our job is to take care of the things that we've
(30:31):
been given and blessed not just for ourselves but for the wider
world, for the wider impact to to make a positive change on the
world. And that that kind of
relationship is called stewardship.
It's the idea that these things aren't just mine.
I don't own them, even though I've given responsibility over
(30:53):
them. So I'm given the responsibility
for my wife, my business, my child, my relationships, my
attitude, my whatever, but I don't actually own it.
And what it does is it lets you hold things with an open hand
where you get the concept of rather than grabbing tight of
everything and trying to hold onto it, you can hold it open and
go, it's mine to manage. But at the end of the day, I
(31:16):
don't own it. I'm, you know, I'm just the
temporary holder of it. And it kind of changes your
mindset and how you look at things.
And so stewardship coaching is this idea of getting our mindset
in that frame as a business owner.
That's who I work with mainly assmall business owners.
A lot of times there's somebody making a transition from
(31:37):
corporate into a business. And we try to help you get your
your time, your talent and your treasures, right.
Remember what I said earlier, really we only work on talent.
But usually you think the problem is time and money.
You know, it's the guy who started a business and hasn't
been able to pay himself for three years.
It's like, OK, let's figure that's not really a business
yet. You know, that's a hobby, you
(31:58):
know, so let's turn it into a business if that's what you want
to do. If that's your why and your
passion and your drive, let's figure out how to do that.
And usually the problem is showing up in time and money.
But the real problem is between our ears and in our heart.
It's the attitude towards which we hold the business and the
beliefs by which we hold around the business and that power of
(32:19):
choice and that power of making decision.
When we get that right, all the sudden the time and the money
take care of themselves. And so there's a lot of
different tools and techniques Iuse around that.
It's, you know, it's something that I've been working on 35
years. So my mother says that I started
coaching when I was 8. You know, I was always kind of
that mindset. I just didn't know what to call
(32:39):
it. And now I've started calling it
stewardship coaching because that sort of has that resonating
idea of we're the the manager ofthese resources and these
blessings, but we're not the owner.
Yeah, I love that because I knowa lot of people that have
possessions and they almost there.
We kind of touched on this before, but when you were
talking about the career, it's like, you know, who are you?
(33:01):
And it's like, oh, I'm you know,this career title and it's like,
that's not who you are, that's your title.
And so with this the the same thing, a lot of us, you know,
maybe base our identity based onthe things that we have.
And so I love the the concept behind, you know, we're just
here responsible of it for now, but it's not ours indefinitely.
And it is it's a free mindset tohave, you know, when you can
(33:24):
really embody that and you know,own it your, your attitude and
mentality, Of course, it lets you become.
Content and, and again, I used that word earlier, the idea of
contentment is because a lot of times people hear the word
contentment and they think, oh, that means you're not driven.
You're you're just kind of stuckwhere you are, whatever.
That's actually not true. The word for that is complacent.
(33:47):
So complacent is when I feel stuck, I feel broke.
You know, I feel trapped in a dead end relationship or dead
end job. That's complacency, right?
I'm, I'm trapped. I'm stuck.
Contentment is I love where I'm at.
I love the good about it. I love the bad about it.
I'm, I'm not ignorant of the fact that there's bad stuff and
(34:08):
I'll even work to change that bad stuff, but I'm still content
with who I am and where I am andwhat I am because I know who I
am and what I am. And you know, I, because I have
that knowledge, I can be contentin where I'm at even while I'm
working to change it and to move, you know.
So again, back to that job situation.
When you have the why you're no longer quote stuck in a dead end
(34:30):
job, even if you choose to stay there, you know, because it's
not stuck anymore. You've made an active choice.
And so contentment is that ability to have that power of
choice, whether things are good,whether things are bad, you
still recognize the power that you do have, which is always the
power of choice because we sell ourselves short.
We take away our power of choice.
(34:51):
People say things all the time. I had to do that, You know, I
had no choice. You had a choice because let's
face it, if I took every single one, you that's listening right
now that you've got these Earpods in and you're listening.
If I, and this is going to be a horrible example, but go with
me. If I held a gun to your head and
(35:12):
I said, hey, you're going to have to do this or I'm going to
shoot you, There are probably some things that you would do.
If I said do this or else I shoot you, you'd be absolutely,
I'll do it. No problem.
Here's my wallet, you know, no problem.
You want my wallet. There are other things though,
that if I said, hey, you're going to have to do this or I'm
going to shoot you, you'd look at me and go, dude, you're going
to have to shoot me. I'm not going to do it.
(35:32):
So even in that extreme of a situation, you actually have the
power of choice, not the guy with the gun.
'Cause you could. Say, I'll do it or I won't do
it. And you know the consequences of
that. We always have the power of
choice. And yet we give it up all the
time. And we use our language.
We lose our beliefs and we say things like, I have to.
(35:55):
I'm stuck. I'm, you know, I had no choice.
Yeah, you did own it. Even if it was a bad choice, you
still had a choice, you know. And so you know that that's that
ownership mentality. That's the thing that you do
own. You don't own your stuff, right.
And and I love. That because that's a big,
(36:15):
again, another big maybe pillar to a lot of the things that I
preach is having ownership, unreal ownership on the things
that happened in your life. You know, you get rear-ended,
you still take ownership of it because only when you take
ownership of things that happened can you actually
influence the outcomes and you know, change a lot of the things
on the outside. So 2 questions left for you,
(36:37):
Scott, this has been incredible.But one, I guess the, the second
last question here, what are youcurrently working towards?
So you obviously have your coaching practice, like, I mean,
what is, do you have a goal thatyou're working towards?
Do you have like a main thing like what is on the horizon for
you in your current situation? I'm always.
Looking for more coaching clients, you know, I've worked
(36:58):
with over 1000 clients in 20 countries, 38 states.
I work with folks all over the world.
Turns out people are people no matter where you are, you know,
so it's like if, if we can understand each other, I could
we work together, but the so that's definitely part of it.
I also had a book come out last year called Inspired Living.
And so of course I'm out promoting that and, and looking
(37:18):
for stages to get on and places to talk about that as well.
But you know, honestly, I, I'm in a place in my business where
I don't have a big like, oh, I want to be $1,000,000 business
next year or you know, those sorts of things.
It, it is much more about I wantto make an impact.
I want to help people. So if I can do that through
one-on-one coachings, through workshops, through speaking,
(37:41):
that's all the how, you know, the why behind it is I want to
make an impact on helping other people live an intentional
inspired life. I love that.
And so if people want to learn more about you, maybe the
offerings, if you have free offerings, things like that,
where can people go to find moreabout you?
(38:02):
Absolutely. So I put together a resource
page just for your listeners andyou can find that over at
inspiredstewardship.com, which is my website.
And then just put in forward slash dark.
And what you'll find there is there's some free resources you
can just download. You can put in your e-mail and
download. There's information about the
book I just mentioned, as well as my own podcast called
(38:23):
Inspired Stewardship and severalother things.
You can find a link to buy the book and all of that and again,
all of that. And there's also a link if you
want to set up a quick call and have a conversation with me, you
can jump on a a call with me andyou can find all of that over at
inspiredstewardship.com. And then forward slash dark.
Incredible. Thank you so much, Scott.
(38:45):
This has been a fantastic conversation.
And of course, to the audience, this was Scott Mater,
Stewardship coach. And you seen here today how
knowing your talents, your treasures could really move your
life in that direction that you want to go, whatever direction
it is that you want for you. So thank you so much for tuning
(39:07):
in. And as always, I'll catch you on
the next one. If you enjoy today's episode,
please like, comment, share, subscribe to it all.
You know I appreciate it. And as always, I'll catch you on
the next.
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