September 13, 2023 • 12 mins
Have you ever caught yourself overeating or talking excessively to keep uncomfortable feelings at bay? What if there's a way to confront these defense mechanisms head on and reclaim your psychological freedom? Let's traverse the labyrinth of the mind together in this episode where Dr. Shemena takes you through the fascinating concepts of repression and resistance. We'll decode these defenses, from excessive talking to overeating, and explore how they can act as barriers to our self-awareness, growth, and understanding.
Get in touch with Dr. Shemena
· Tweet me at @ShemenaJohnson
· Follow me on IG at @DrShemenaJohnson
· Email me at info@shemenajohnson.com
Thank you for listening!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dr. Shemena (00:05):
This is the Dark Matters podcast with Dr.
Shemena.
I'm Dr.
Shemena, a licensed therapistthat underwent my own
transformation, and I'm here toshare my insights and
revelations.
This is a podcast that goeswell beyond the surface of
everyday psychology to help youbecome conscious and aware.
It's about understanding andit's about empowerment so that
(00:28):
you can take control of yourlife in this challenging world.
So what do you say?
Let's dive in.
Hi, this is Dr.
Shamena, your host of DarkMatters.
Thanks for tuning in.
Today we're going to be talkingabout repression, which is also
(00:48):
connected to resistance, butbefore I dive into the topic for
today's topic, I just want tothank all the individuals who
subscribe and also who listen tothe episodes.
I've gotten feedback that it'sbeen insightful for them, so I
really appreciate it.
It just kind of gives me a nicewarm glow that carries me
(01:12):
throughout the week and helps meto continue to record these
episodes for you.
So I just want to say thank you.
Your support is really greatlyappreciated.
So let's dive in.
Dive into the topic ofrepression and resistance.
So I just wanted to say,although this topic in this
(01:35):
episode does come late in allthe discussions that I've had
thus far, I really think, as I'mthinking out loud, this should
have probably been one of thefirst podcast episodes that I
recorded, even before anxiety,because in a way, it is one of
the most important defensemechanisms that many issues such
(02:00):
as anxiety and depressionspring from, and that is
repression.
So I'll give you a little bitof an example of what repression
is.
So when you're in denial, yourepress the awareness of an
unwelcome truth.
When you idealize someone, yourepress those perceptions that
(02:25):
would undermine the idealizationand also, like if you're
homophobic, you would repressyour attraction and physical
desire.
So it's worth noting that ineach of these examples, it's
actually the awareness of someaspect of your psyche that is
(02:46):
repressed.
It's like taking a big pillowand stuffing it into a small jar
.
That is really repression.
Freud, whom I've read a lot ofreadings from and I know some of
you may not be a fan, butthere's some of his readings
that I find actually quiteinsightful.
(03:06):
But Freud originally discussedrepression as it related to
trauma, but later he did expandhis conception of repression as
it pertains to the instinctualdrives of all kinds, not
necessarily just traumaticmemories, and I think Freud
spoke very simply and elegantlyabout repression.
(03:28):
His definition was thatrepression is.
The essence of repressing liessimply in turning something away
.
So I'll repeat that againbecause I probably didn't come
across well the essence ofrepression lies simply in
turning something away andkeeping it a distance from the
(03:50):
conscious mind.
Not something could be anunacceptable emotion, either
about someone else or evenyourself.
You might be a perception ofreality you'd rather not even
acknowledge.
There's also anotherpsychologist, Donald Meltzer,
(04:10):
and his formulation of the ideaof repression, which I also like
, is that all defenses,including repression, are
essentially lies.
We tell ourselves to avoid somekind of pain.
So when we repress something,we keep it at a distance from
our consciousness.
It's because we're trying toavoid pain of one kind or
(04:32):
another, and I do think thatthat's an idea that everyone can
probably understand.
So keep in mind that repressionisn't something that just
happens once, once over thecourse of your life.
It is something that youcontinuously do over the course
of a lifetime.
It's a process that requires acontinual expenditure of energy,
(04:57):
so much psychic energy, to keepthe repressed from returning to
the sense of consciousness.
So it's like the idea of I'mtrying to keep something
repressed.
You develop all of thesestrategies over the course of
your life, growing up fromchildhood to become an adult.
These strategies are designedto keep the repressed feelings
(05:20):
from breaking free of thispsychological dungeon.
I see this with clients witheating disorders.
So clients with eatingdisorders use binge eating in
this kind of fashion.
So whenever a repressed emotionthreatens to come up or they
face a new or threateningexperience, they overeat in
(05:43):
order to ward off their feelings.
And I would even expand that tosay that not just with binge
eating but individuals whoactually overeat as well, it's a
cycle of punishment and rewardwhere you keep everything in
place.
You could think of this defensein other ways, such as an
analgesic, for example, thatjust relieves you of some kind
(06:05):
of pain, or a shoving thefeelings back down along with
the food.
In some way it offers somerelief from the suffering that
you feel of trying to avoid thepain.
So when we repress somethingwhich is keeping the feeling at
a distance from being conscious,you're just trying to avoid the
(06:26):
pain.
And also, along with thisdefense of repression, through
my clinical experience, therecomes resistance.
Resistance is that part of youthat tries to fight the
awareness of the pain, and it'sa strong drive that it's almost
like a strong drive towards justtrying to have the good
(06:47):
feelings only, like I'm justtrying to be happy, I'm just
trying to think that I did agreat job and I don't want to
think of areas that I may havemessed up or would have.
You, it's the feelings ofinsecurity, self-loathing, hate,
jealousy, anger, envy, doubt,self-deprecating feelings that
(07:08):
become the buzz killers.
Like I just want to feel onlythe good feelings.
So when these unsavory feelingscome knocking at your door, you
do everything to opposebringing them to light.
It's like the resistance actslike an executive assistant to a
powerful CEO that screens callsand visitors so that the CEO
(07:30):
doesn't have to be even bothered.
And a really good assistantdoes this without even the boss
even being aware of it.
So I'll give you another exampleof another effective way that
individuals hide fromuncomfortable truths, and that's
through another defense, whichis intellectualization.
(07:51):
Now, this is a more commonfeeling.
A lot of people intellectualizethings.
You don't really think about itin this way, in a psychological
way, but using intellect toward off uncomfortable feelings
is pretty common and in themilieu of our world we all know
someone who is emotionally cutoff from their feelings.
(08:12):
So these people are like cool,cool cucumbers or cool customers
, as I like to call them.
So instead of acknowledgingtheir feelings, they go upstairs
and then they think them away.
Emotions have proven to be toodisappointing in their life and
hurtful, so they just shut itdown.
(08:33):
I'll give you another defensein how it shows up, another
defense which is excessivetalking.
Excessive talking often has thedesired effect of preventing
unwanted feelings from becomingconscious, and I'm sure you've
met someone who you just can'tkeep quiet.
(08:55):
Words just flow out of theirmouth like an act of volcano.
This is the enemy.
It's feared and anxietyprovoking because it allows the
listener to have a chance tothink and witness the other
person.
Now, normally you would thinkthat that's a good thing.
(09:17):
But if this person fears thatif the listener has a chance to
think, they will realize theirflaws and insecurities, then the
talker will marshal all oftheir psychological resources to
form a psychological barricadebetween oneself and the other.
But also, as I'm talking aboutthis, even the excessive talking
(09:39):
serves as a defense for theperson who's talking.
They also try and keep theirunwanted feelings from coming up
.
So if I talk, talk, talk, talk,talk, I'm also, in essence,
talking my feelings away.
Whatever I'm feeling deep down,whether if it's insecurity or
my fears or anxieties, I justtalk them away.
(10:01):
I just keep keep talking.
So these defenses and thedifficulty of becoming conscious
of what they're trying todefend only hinders you and your
ability to evolve and grow.
So it's really important tobegin to develop the ability to
(10:23):
observe yourself whenuncomfortable feelings just wash
over you, like when you feelanxiety well up inside of you.
Pay attention to it and monitorhow it impacts your behavior.
Like that is the goal.
The goal is being able to beaware with a capital A, like the
(10:45):
goal of your psychologist, toallow your psyche to exist along
with these uncomfortablefeelings.
It's an important process forall of us in integration
incorporating anxiety into yourconscious sense of self.
Like without it, your anxietyjust splits off and you're not
(11:06):
aware of yourself and it governsthe outcome of your behavior.
Like you'll find yourselfactually doing things only to
have to walk back from it.
It can lead you to a place ofdysfunction the thoughts and the
feelings and the behaviors.
But if you can face theseuncomfortable truths, feelings,
(11:28):
instead of hiding them, then youwill find that accepting these
feelings will lead to a place ofpeace and actually
psychological freedom.
Thank you for listening andtuning in.
Take care and be well.
I hope you enjoyed this episodeof Dark Matters with Dr.
(11:50):
Shemena.
Thank you for listening in.
You can find me atshemenajohnson.
com.
All the links of where you canfind me are in the show summary.
Come back often and make sureyou subscribe, rate, and review,
because I'd love to hear yourcomments and remember either you
deal with your feelings or theydeal with you.
See you guys soon.
This is the Dark Matters podcast with Dr.
Shemena.
I'm Dr.
Shemena, a licensed therapistthat underwent my own
transformation, and I'm here toshare my insights and
revelations.
This is a podcast that goeswell beyond the surface of
everyday psychology to help youbecome conscious and aware.
It's about understanding andit's about empowerment so that
(00:28):
you can take control of yourlife in this challenging world.
So what do you say?
Let's dive in.
Hi, this is Dr.
Shamena, your host of DarkMatters.
Thanks for tuning in.
Today we're going to be talkingabout repression, which is also
(00:48):
connected to resistance, butbefore I dive into the topic for
today's topic, I just want tothank all the individuals who
subscribe and also who listen tothe episodes.
I've gotten feedback that it'sbeen insightful for them, so I
really appreciate it.
It just kind of gives me a nicewarm glow that carries me
(01:12):
throughout the week and helps meto continue to record these
episodes for you.
So I just want to say thank you.
Your support is really greatlyappreciated.
So let's dive in.
Dive into the topic ofrepression and resistance.
So I just wanted to say,although this topic in this
(01:35):
episode does come late in allthe discussions that I've had
thus far, I really think, as I'mthinking out loud, this should
have probably been one of thefirst podcast episodes that I
recorded, even before anxiety,because in a way, it is one of
the most important defensemechanisms that many issues such
(02:00):
as anxiety and depressionspring from, and that is
repression.
So I'll give you a little bitof an example of what repression
is.
So when you're in denial, yourepress the awareness of an
unwelcome truth.
When you idealize someone, yourepress those perceptions that
(02:25):
would undermine the idealizationand also, like if you're
homophobic, you would repressyour attraction and physical
desire.
So it's worth noting that ineach of these examples, it's
actually the awareness of someaspect of your psyche that is
(02:46):
repressed.
It's like taking a big pillowand stuffing it into a small jar
.
That is really repression.
Freud, whom I've read a lot ofreadings from and I know some of
you may not be a fan, butthere's some of his readings
that I find actually quiteinsightful.
(03:06):
But Freud originally discussedrepression as it related to
trauma, but later he did expandhis conception of repression as
it pertains to the instinctualdrives of all kinds, not
necessarily just traumaticmemories, and I think Freud
spoke very simply and elegantlyabout repression.
(03:28):
His definition was thatrepression is.
The essence of repressing liessimply in turning something away
.
So I'll repeat that againbecause I probably didn't come
across well the essence ofrepression lies simply in
turning something away andkeeping it a distance from the
(03:50):
conscious mind.
Not something could be anunacceptable emotion, either
about someone else or evenyourself.
You might be a perception ofreality you'd rather not even
acknowledge.
There's also anotherpsychologist, Donald Meltzer,
(04:10):
and his formulation of the ideaof repression, which I also like
, is that all defenses,including repression, are
essentially lies.
We tell ourselves to avoid somekind of pain.
So when we repress something,we keep it at a distance from
our consciousness.
It's because we're trying toavoid pain of one kind or
(04:32):
another, and I do think thatthat's an idea that everyone can
probably understand.
So keep in mind that repressionisn't something that just
happens once, once over thecourse of your life.
It is something that youcontinuously do over the course
of a lifetime.
It's a process that requires acontinual expenditure of energy,
(04:57):
so much psychic energy, to keepthe repressed from returning to
the sense of consciousness.
So it's like the idea of I'mtrying to keep something
repressed.
You develop all of thesestrategies over the course of
your life, growing up fromchildhood to become an adult.
These strategies are designedto keep the repressed feelings
(05:20):
from breaking free of thispsychological dungeon.
I see this with clients witheating disorders.
So clients with eatingdisorders use binge eating in
this kind of fashion.
So whenever a repressed emotionthreatens to come up or they
face a new or threateningexperience, they overeat in
(05:43):
order to ward off their feelings.
And I would even expand that tosay that not just with binge
eating but individuals whoactually overeat as well, it's a
cycle of punishment and rewardwhere you keep everything in
place.
You could think of this defensein other ways, such as an
analgesic, for example, thatjust relieves you of some kind
(06:05):
of pain, or a shoving thefeelings back down along with
the food.
In some way it offers somerelief from the suffering that
you feel of trying to avoid thepain.
So when we repress somethingwhich is keeping the feeling at
a distance from being conscious,you're just trying to avoid the
(06:26):
pain.
And also, along with thisdefense of repression, through
my clinical experience, therecomes resistance.
Resistance is that part of youthat tries to fight the
awareness of the pain, and it'sa strong drive that it's almost
like a strong drive towards justtrying to have the good
(06:47):
feelings only, like I'm justtrying to be happy, I'm just
trying to think that I did agreat job and I don't want to
think of areas that I may havemessed up or would have.
You, it's the feelings ofinsecurity, self-loathing, hate,
jealousy, anger, envy, doubt,self-deprecating feelings that
(07:08):
become the buzz killers.
Like I just want to feel onlythe good feelings.
So when these unsavory feelingscome knocking at your door, you
do everything to opposebringing them to light.
It's like the resistance actslike an executive assistant to a
powerful CEO that screens callsand visitors so that the CEO
(07:30):
doesn't have to be even bothered.
And a really good assistantdoes this without even the boss
even being aware of it.
So I'll give you another exampleof another effective way that
individuals hide fromuncomfortable truths, and that's
through another defense, whichis intellectualization.
(07:51):
Now, this is a more commonfeeling.
A lot of people intellectualizethings.
You don't really think about itin this way, in a psychological
way, but using intellect toward off uncomfortable feelings
is pretty common and in themilieu of our world we all know
someone who is emotionally cutoff from their feelings.
(08:12):
So these people are like cool,cool cucumbers or cool customers
, as I like to call them.
So instead of acknowledgingtheir feelings, they go upstairs
and then they think them away.
Emotions have proven to be toodisappointing in their life and
hurtful, so they just shut itdown.
(08:33):
I'll give you another defensein how it shows up, another
defense which is excessivetalking.
Excessive talking often has thedesired effect of preventing
unwanted feelings from becomingconscious, and I'm sure you've
met someone who you just can'tkeep quiet.
(08:55):
Words just flow out of theirmouth like an act of volcano.
This is the enemy.
It's feared and anxietyprovoking because it allows the
listener to have a chance tothink and witness the other
person.
Now, normally you would thinkthat that's a good thing.
(09:17):
But if this person fears thatif the listener has a chance to
think, they will realize theirflaws and insecurities, then the
talker will marshal all oftheir psychological resources to
form a psychological barricadebetween oneself and the other.
But also, as I'm talking aboutthis, even the excessive talking
(09:39):
serves as a defense for theperson who's talking.
They also try and keep theirunwanted feelings from coming up
.
So if I talk, talk, talk, talk,talk, I'm also, in essence,
talking my feelings away.
Whatever I'm feeling deep down,whether if it's insecurity or
my fears or anxieties, I justtalk them away.
(10:01):
I just keep keep talking.
So these defenses and thedifficulty of becoming conscious
of what they're trying todefend only hinders you and your
ability to evolve and grow.
So it's really important tobegin to develop the ability to
(10:23):
observe yourself whenuncomfortable feelings just wash
over you, like when you feelanxiety well up inside of you.
Pay attention to it and monitorhow it impacts your behavior.
Like that is the goal.
The goal is being able to beaware with a capital A, like the
(10:45):
goal of your psychologist, toallow your psyche to exist along
with these uncomfortablefeelings.
It's an important process forall of us in integration
incorporating anxiety into yourconscious sense of self.
Like without it, your anxietyjust splits off and you're not
(11:06):
aware of yourself and it governsthe outcome of your behavior.
Like you'll find yourselfactually doing things only to
have to walk back from it.
It can lead you to a place ofdysfunction the thoughts and the
feelings and the behaviors.
But if you can face theseuncomfortable truths, feelings,
(11:28):
instead of hiding them, then youwill find that accepting these
feelings will lead to a place ofpeace and actually
psychological freedom.
Thank you for listening andtuning in.
Take care and be well.
I hope you enjoyed this episodeof Dark Matters with Dr.
(11:50):
Shemena.
Thank you for listening in.
You can find me atshemenajohnson.
com.
All the links of where you canfind me are in the show summary.
Come back often and make sureyou subscribe, rate, and review,
because I'd love to hear yourcomments and remember either you
deal with your feelings or theydeal with you.
See you guys soon.
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