June 11, 2024 • 38 mins
Can setting boundaries and practicing self-love actually change your life? Join us as we share personal stories and insights with our special guests Breona Dewitt and Ellen Branch. From the wisdom of DMX about recognizing people's true selves to the importance of self-dates and alone time, we uncover how these practices can enhance your mental and spiritual well-being. Ellen and Breona share their go-to self-care routines, including yoga and self-reflection, while we also highlight the critical role of communication in maintaining inner peace.
Host KC Carnage (@iamkccarnage), Breona Dewitt (@denasha.bre) and Ellen Branch (@simply_ellen_holistic)
Daz It Daz All is written by KC Carnage (@iamkccarnage) and Produced by KC Carnage and Rick Barrio Dill (@rickbarriodill). Associate producer Bri Coorey (@bri_beats), Audio and Video Engineering and Studio facilities provided by S.L.A.P. Studios LA (@SLAPStudiosLA) with distribution through our collective for social progress and cultural expression, SLAP the Network. (@SLAPtheNetwork.com)
If you have any ideas for a show you want to see or hear, email us at info@SLAPtheNetwork.com and as always, you can go to dazitdazall.com and sign up there to make sure you never miss a thing...
See you next show!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
baby, you got one time to play with me now, right,
and I deserve for you to get itright the first time.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Now, if it's something small, okay, that's
different, but like major things.
Baby, you only got one time toplay in my face, yeah, and
recently that happened and likegot cut off and he didn't know
what to do.
He's like damn, you just like,you just threw me away.
I'm like it's not that I aboutyou and I didn't like you, it's
just you're playing with me.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Yeah, and what's that ?
It was a DMX quote.
He said the first time peopletell you who they are believe
them Believe, them Believe them,believe them.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
That's it, that's all .
That's it, that's all.
Black excellence at its finest.
How that skin glows, she's atrue diamond, with the world
right out back.
She's still smiling.
Never let that crown sit.
She stay thriving.
That's it, that's all.
That's it, that's all.
(00:59):
Keep it real.
That's it.
That's all.
That's it, that's all.
Is that really it, though?
(01:20):
And just you know, being ableto center yourself, alleviate
distractions and just get to apoint in your life where you can
move in coordinates to what youwant in your life, and
sometimes blocking out thosethings that don't serve you,
that's a part of protecting yourpeace.
So that's what we're going totalk about, and y'all you know
we got our usual suspects on theshow today.
(01:40):
We got Brianna Dewey Gang gang.
We got Ellen Brinch Hi and Ishow.
Today we got Brianna Dewey gang, we got Ellen Brinch, and I
just want to jump right into itbefore, like um, you know, you
know the term protecting yourpeace gets thrown around a lot,
so I actually looked it up.
PYP yes, I actually, I actuallylooked it up, and so when I
looked it up, um it, thedefinition that came um, of
(02:01):
protecting your peace issafeguarding your physical,
mental and spiritual self inways that you define it for
yourself.
So your peace, basically.
That's basically saying thatyour peace is not somebody
else's peace.
Some people live in chaos,somebody needs to live in
isolation, and that is just asimportant, depending on what you
defined it for yourself.
(02:21):
So, but the most importantthing that I read was that when
you spend the time to focus onachieving your peace in your
life, you learn to build a moresignificant relationship with
yourself and how you respond tothings in life, and that was
like that was something that Iliterally like I was like that
makes a lot of sense and I thinkthat comes with a lot of
maturity.
And when you learn yourself moreand you actually can be alone
(02:45):
because some people have a hardtime being by themselves you
know what I mean.
Like actually like cutting outthe noise, and it was funny well
, not necessarily funny, but itwas very interesting that the
definition really came aboutlike, when you're protecting
your peace, you're reallyinitially getting to know
yourself, and that comes withknowing what you want and how to
move and how you react tothings, because if you don't
(03:05):
know what you really want, howcan you react in the proper way?
So let's just jump right intoit.
Um, tell me a few things thaty'all do to protect y'all peace
go ahead.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Okay, for me it's setting very firm and clear
boundaries and not wavering onthem.
Um, I used to be have a badhabit of of setting boundaries
and then like, oh, because onthem.
I used to have a bad habit ofsetting boundaries and then like
, oh, because I like the personthat I let stuff slide.
I don't do that anymore.
Clear boundaries Respect them.
If you can't respect them,gotta go, I'm out.
(03:37):
Skrrt, skrrt, gotta go, gottablast.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Where is that from, though, cause my brain was like.
I know that.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
I know that I gotta fucking go, you can't respect my
boundaries, like I gotta go.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
That's probably first and foremost and then also like
just self love.
I take myself on dates.
I make sure that I'm in lovewith me and who I am, because
how can you protect somethingthat you don't love and respect?
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, agreed, so Snap, snap, snaps.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
So, Ellen, how about you?
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Protecting my peace.
I like to be alone.
I was the only child until Iwas 11 years old, so my happy
place is in my room watching tvwith the door closed, because
some people got problem withclosed doors.
No more locked doors.
I ain't locking it.
I close it though, um.
But I think beyond that, it'smore so creating relationships
(04:41):
with people where they have theopportunity, if I feel
comfortable with them seeing meat every facet.
So like y'all have seen me good, bad, indifferent, like I don't
what y'all hoes, I love y'allbut I don't fuck with y'all but
that's me trying to like stillhave a relationship, but
protecting the part of me thatfeels vulnerable or fragile
so I think, um, beyond you know,isolation, because that's what
(05:05):
I, that's what I lean into um,yoga is really good for me
because I can get in, out of myhead and my body and just move
and do something that at the endof it I'm sweating and I feel
good and endorphins are flowing.
So those are the three mainthings that I try to do to, like
, protect my just saying sanitywell, that's what's up.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
I mean, like I guess, for myself, I am a very blunt
person and I feel like whensomething is bothering me, the
only time I can't see clearly isif I'm holding it in, I'm
trying to wait to whatever it is.
Like I've always been a verygood communicator, like y'all
know, like y'all gonna knowwhat's on my mind and I'm gonna
tell it.
I'm gonna say I don't care, andI think that sometimes people
(05:48):
take that as like you're beingbrash or you're being rude.
It's really me protecting mypeace, like I have to stand firm
in what I believe and what Isay and what I don't want.
And if y'all don't understandme by now and know that it
doesn't necessarily come from itcomes from love, it always
comes from love.
But it's also like there's aseparation between, you know,
wanting to keep everybody happyaround you, opposed to putting
(06:14):
yourself first.
And I think that because I putmyself first, a lot people
misconstrue that as, oh, she'salways on her own accord.
I was like no, I put myselffirst to be the betterment for
the rest of y'all, because if Idon't put myself first, I can't
be the authentic Casey thaty'all know, I can't be the good
friend that you know that can.
That will come to you when youneed me to come to you, because
(06:34):
I haven't taken that time to sayno, I don't want to do this or
no, I'm not.
You know I don't agree withthat, you know.
So I guess for me, how Iprotect my peace is really
keeping myself grounded, sayingno when I mean no, and not doing
yeah like boundaries, and notdoing the things that I don't
want to do, regardless of whatpeople have to say, because
y'all could tell, okay, y'allknow I don't care, like I don't
(06:57):
care, it's like y'all know Idon't care, so it's, but it
never.
You know, like I always wantpeople to know that it never
comes out of like being like.
You know, like I feel like I'mbetter than anything or whatever
.
It's a fact that, like somepeople deal with battles that
they will never tell.
You know what I mean.
Like we talk about the anxietything, some people do things out
of anxiety Like I can't be here.
(07:18):
Yes, everybody going, yes, cool, yes, I told you I was gonna be
there, but I woke up today andbody said no, you know what I
mean and I think that's a partabout, um, you know protecting
your peace, being honest withyourself, and, you know,
honoring what you're feeling atthe time you're feeling it.
So that's, I mean, that's whatI would ask.
So let's um.
So my next question would bewhat um kind of relationship do
(07:41):
you have with yourself, good andbad, or good or bad?
Speaker 1 (07:46):
I feel like the last.
I would say the last threeyears I've really worked on
loving myself and making surethat I'm good and, like Ellen
said, I enjoy actually beingalone now so that anybody who
comes into my space are youadding to my life?
(08:07):
Are you adding to what I alreadyenjoy or are you causing more
trouble?
Because if you're causing moretrouble, you're not gonna be
there like you have to now.
I'm at a point in my life where, if you're not adding to my
space, my, my happiness, myoverall being you won't be there
and I have no problem cuttingyou off and don't have to
explain myself and people likeyou just cut me off.
I'm like I did, yeah, and youhave that right, and I'm like I
do have the right.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
People are used to like you just cut me off.
I'm like I did, yeah, and youhave that right, and people
forget that too.
Like you do have the right,people are used to like to not
explain yourself.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Yeah people get.
People are so used to havingmultiple chances to do you wrong
and do wrong by you, and I'mlike baby.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
You got one time to play with me now right and I
deserve for you to get it rightthe first time now, if it's
something small, that'sdifferent, but like major things
.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Baby, you only got one time to play in my face and
and recently that happened andlike got cut off and he didn't
know what to do.
He's like damn, you just like,you just threw me away.
I'm like it's not that becauseI don't care about you and I
didn't like you, it's justyou're playing with me yeah, and
what's that?
Speaker 3 (08:59):
it was the first time people tell you who they are
believe them believe them likeit's 100.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
True, because, like I guess, like you know the
relationship with self and likewhether it's good or bad, the
thing is like, especially as youget older, there's a lot of
things that people look.
I guess the point that I'msaying is that OK, so especially
this happens when you knowpeople for a long time.
I think this is where the grayarea happens, yeah because they
known a version of you that theygotten used to.
(09:36):
And when you come into your ownand you decide to really put
yourself first and really goafter your goals, you got to
understand, like I, that part,Like I was't that person?
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Parts of me got to die.
She don't live here, no, more.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Yeah, she don't live here, no more, and I'm going to
be selfish a little bit moreselfish than I used to be and
I'm going to put myself first insituations where I normally
wouldn't have.
And you're going to have toaccept that Some people can't
handle that, but also that showsa lot about them and and where
they are in their life too,because it's two types of people
.
I don't have to deal with theperson that you, if you choose
(10:07):
not to grow, you can't come withme then, that's okay, and it's
two types of people, and that'sokay too.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
It's the person that always goes back to who they was
in high school and be like ohwell, this is how I was in high
school, this is the kind of vibeI was in high school, but that
was the peak of their experience, right, whereas me and you and
I'm sure so many people peakedin high school.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I was a geek in high school.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
I was a ugly duckling in high school, so that was not
my peak.
I was cool, okay, well, y'allwas your peak, then whatever,
but that was not my peak um.
I had friends who were popular.
But me, in and of myself, I wasnot that girl like.
I could traverse differentfriend groups and not feel like
I didn't belong, but at the endof the day I didn't have.
No, I feel you know, I feel youno, no, but here's the thing.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
I feel you in that, because I necessarily didn't
think I was the prettiest girlin high school.
I just was an athlete and I,you know, like we had good
friends.
You know I'm a good person, I'man inviting person.
So when I say I was cool, I wasjoking like I was cool but I
didn't feel like I came into myown until I got to college.
Yeah, so I feel you on that.
Like it was when I got tocollege and moved out of Jersey
and was beating around Marylandand I didn't have my best
(11:11):
friends that I've known sinceforever and I really had to
become who I wanted to become inthat life.
But at the same time, thatCasey is still a different
version than the Casey you'reseeing today.
So when people come back at youit's like well, you used to do
this.
I was like I wish somebodytried to throw something in my
face that I did 10 years ago.
She don't live here, no more.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
And dot dot dot she in rehab, she going, she dead.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
RIP.
The gravestone is over there.
I'll show you to the plot shedead, she's.
That's the thing I think peoplelike you know, like going back
to you know the topic is thatpeople that haven't reached a
certain level of higher thinkingor higher learning are actually
doing the work.
They want to pull you back down.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
They want to pull you to a level where they are?
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Are they having elevated?
Speaker 3 (11:57):
to and baby.
You're not going to do thatover here, but I think that's
the.
That's the part to consider,because the people that try to
pull you back down, want you tobe in that same thought process
so they can do the same thingsthat they did to you before and
like for me, I have a lot offriends who I don't even talk to
anymore.
If they hit me up I'll be like,hey, how are you?
But as far as rehashing andreminiscing on stuff that I did
(12:20):
in high school college, I'm adifferent person.
I mean, I'm a different personthan where I was when you met me
two years ago.
Yeah, you had hair.
You're beautiful.
Anyway, kc for all the peopleout there, who is hating on the
short, you know teeny-weeny Afrogirl.
She's a little Annie now.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
I mean, at least I told you to your face, friend.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
But she's still beautiful.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
She's still beautiful .
She's so beautiful and she'sone of my best friends and I
love her to death.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Is that the first time you cut your hair, though?
No, it's not, but yes, she was.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
I was bobbing and weaving Tomorrow, tomorrow, I
love you tomorrow.
That's what she said.
It's hard to live for us.
Love y'all.
Love y'all, cause I was you getkicked, daddy kisses, you get
kicked.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Alright, Daddy Warbucks.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Okay, okay, okay.
Back to what you said.
This is what happens when youtry to talk about serious stuff
with your actual friends.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
You're supposed to be going off.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
You're supposed to be but overall, I think that's the
part that resonates with me,with what you said, of just
being like a different personand allowing yourself to have
friends that get to see you inall of your different facets.
So I feel like, with you all,y'all have got to see me pretty
much through all the phases ofwho I am as a person, um, that I
(13:52):
know of at this point in mylife but, um, moving forward,
y'all might be my friends andthen, when I have kids, I'll be
like them kids, because wealready talked about it.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
You know what I'm saying, but like, and that's
okay and that's fair, but we canbe well, well well, well, I'm
ready to be the rich auntie so Imight not be fucking kids all
the way, just 50% okay, justdon't bring them out.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
I'll visit you you don't want me to bring my kids
out.
I'm just joking.
I'm just joking, I actuallylove kids.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
The person that's in it.
I actually really like kids, Ilove kids, I actually really
like kids, so definitely havesome.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
And my brothers, you all watching.
Y'all need to hurry to fuck uptoo Definitely have some.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
I mean I'm good with my cat.
I'm good with my cat son, butlike I do I, to be completely
honest so it's a baby versus akid.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
I love a baby, I love a little and I love a toddler.
Okay, see, you like toddlers,see, so you got stages.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
So we're here, I like talking we're here, we're here
but like I feel you on that, solet's move on to the next
question.
Has somebody rattled your peace?
Speaker 3 (14:56):
yes, yes, and when I was not in a place like mentally
and emotionally, as far as liketherapy, you know stuff like
that it had me fucked up, but asa result of the time and effort
I put in and that's what I wasgoing to mention.
As far as like shadow work,like people aren't ready to do
that, even if they don't haveeducation, if they don't even,
they just graduated high schooland they went and got a
(15:18):
vocational job.
Majority of people out here inthis world just I am the way I
am because I am, but they got avocational job.
Majority of people out here inthis world just I am the way I
am because I am, but they don'tdo the shadow work to be like
well, why am I this way?
Why do these things trigger me?
Why is this happening to meover and over and over in my
life?
So I've done that work.
So before I did that work, thatperson would have me out
ripping and running.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
But let's be real though, like that work doesn't
stop, it's a continuous work butbeing, but being aware, no no,
no, no, totally no.
I'm just adding on to whatyou're saying because, like,
don't not for one moment thinkthat, like as you're elevating
and as you're evolving, thatthat works out.
Oh, I did it.
I want to think, no, it is aconstant game and a constant
(15:58):
learning mechanism, that,because your life changes.
I mean, just think about likewhere you were, even last year
yeah, well, I think this time.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
So if I think about the situations that I have
willingly put myself in in thepast year, I think that there
have been instances in which, ifI had experienced those a year
ago, I would not be mentally andemotionally prepared for it.
So that's what I meant with theshadow work.
I meant with understanding that, like if you don't know, like
you said, what you need, how youneed to move through life, then
(16:28):
when you look at somebody elseand they're not treating you the
way you want to be treated, youdon't really have nobody to
blame but yourself girl, don't?
Speaker 2 (16:34):
I know it like I'm definitely guilty of it.
Like, just like, for a longtime.
I guess what I can say is thatI have been very good at being a
chameleon, like I'm smart, I'man educated woman, I'm
articulate, I can move in anycrowd I want to move in.
As far as internal work,there's been a lot of dark
(16:56):
spaces.
There's been a lot of timeswhere I've doubted.
There's been a lot of times Ilooked at something like why do
I keep hitting this wall?
I'm able to take, I've I'vealways been a person where I've
able to take an idea out of myhead and execute it, how it's
gone, or how far it's gone it.
You know, sometimes it didn'tquite work out the way I worked
(17:17):
out, like wanted to work, and itcaused a lot of self-doubt.
You know what I mean.
It caused a lot of like why canI?
Was like I can get to, I canget to be, I can get to be, but
I can't get to that C place,like why?
You know what I mean.
And it took, you know, it tooksome time to understand that.
Like it's, it's a part oflearning a journey, like
enjoying the journey, like eachtime I do something, I've
(17:38):
learned something else that hashelped me in the next project
I've done and I've gotten alittle bit further.
And because I have those skillsets and most of them, you know,
outside of my degree andoutside of like whatever, most
of that is self-taught andperseverance.
And every time I like, I say tomyself, like, do I have more?
Like, do I, do I even have moreto to give or do I have any
(18:01):
more?
It takes sometimes a long timeto like get out of that rut.
You know what I mean.
But there's always a sign Like Iliterally like, literally, like
God talked to me the other dayin the shower, like no, like lie
, and it's like I've been like Iwouldn't say that I'm a
religious, but I grew up in a,you know, in a religious home.
You know religious home.
You know I'm more spiritual mix, like I'm like a hybrid between
(18:22):
religion and spiritual, becauseI still do believe in science
stuff, but I do believe thatthere's a higher power.
Um, I was in the shower and youknow there's a lot of stuff
going on with my family rightnow and I literally like heard
this whisper and was like, and Iwas feeling like like I wasn't
getting invited places like.
I think it was a day where I waslike I was asking my friends
you know what was going on.
(18:42):
I felt like I wasn't gettinginvited or whatever, or I was
being forgot about or something,or I feel very isolated.
Lately, you know what I meanand it literally said to me I
was like God has put you inisolation because it's time for
you to get to work and whenyou're getting put in these
spaces internally because you'reused to like, we're going back
to like what we're talking about, who we used to be.
(19:02):
You know what I mean.
Like me, and Brie ran thestreets.
Brie has known me when I waslike Brie, let's go, brie, let's
go.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
We got this, we got this.
No, but I'm saying like, like,for real, like every day.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Brie knew, every day I had an whatever and that has
completely halted for me and andthat's been hard, like to be
honest, like it's been hard,like feeling, like you're very
like feeding off of people'senergy.
You're very like in that in themix and it makes you feel a lot
and it makes me feel importantand that's my ego, like I felt,
like my ego wasn't being served,but it literally like god spoke
(19:38):
to me.
It's like I've put you inisolation because it's time for
you to get to work, and once Iput that in there, so it was the
opposite.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
for you, Silence rattled your peace not people.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Silence rattled my peace.
Silence rattled my peace and Ihad to.
And I think like when I gotthat message I was like that
makes sense, because I have somany moving pieces going on in
my life or what I'm building,and your life went still.
You was like what the fuckExactly, and it was just like no
, I put you in this spacebecause you have way more
(20:07):
important things to worry aboutright now and when you're ready
for those calls and stuff tocome back, they will.
So that was my experience.
It was more so like that was mysituation as far as rattling my
piece, because you know I ain'tso silent girl as far as
rattling my piece because youknow, I ain't so silent girl,
yeah, mine mine was I.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Right before I moved out here, I was in a
relationship with this guy and Iwas in a very toxic, abusive,
physically, mentally, emotionalrelationship and, when I tell
you, this man gutted me to thecore, like I was just a shell of
myself.
I didn't know who I was, whereI was.
The only thing that got me outof that situation was my will to
live um was like survival so,literally, survival was like
(20:47):
Brianna if you don't leave, you,don't get out this rut that
you're in he had.
He had me isolated from myfamily, my friends, my, my, my
brothers, everybody, people whoI talked to on a daily basis,
like every day, and didn't goand then went from going to talk
to them every day to nottalking to him for a year.
I was, oh my God.
Literally, my will to live waslike Brian if you don't leave
(21:09):
him, he's going to kill you.
And that's literally how I feltand that was the only thing
that got me out of thatsituation.
But even then, once I left, Istill felt empty.
I felt hollow.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
I didn't know who I was Because he had reinforced a
lot of things.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
that yes he manipulated me, textbook
manipulator, textbook, textbook,textbook and um, and I was, I
mean, I was, I was younger tooand he was an older guy, so like
I mean, but I just didn't knowwho I was and I was just like,
so I, just the last five yearsthat I've been in la, I've just
been like doing the work that's,taking care of myself and
getting back to me and baby, Ipromise you that if that ever
(21:40):
happened again, the responsewould be a lot.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
You ain't even got to worry about that because you
share a location.
So we're going to pull up.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
So let me ask a question about that, Bri I know,
going a year, we would talk,not talk, talk, talk.
If you're a year, y'all willpull up.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Let me ask you a question on that though, bri,
because it's like disregardingthe signs, like how did he get
you to that place?
Like what about?
What about this particularperson or situation?
Speaker 1 (22:04):
I definitely ignored.
I definitely ignored hella redflags with him before the the
physical abuse even started.
Mm-hmm.
Um, he was just a person andbut he was exciting, it was fun.
He was because the guys that Iwas dating before were just very
like vanilla, very regular,very, and I'm like, I'm like 23,
24, so I was he was looking forsome excitement.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
He was exciting.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Yeah, the guys I was dating before was just very you
know, they were very vanilla,they were right, they were very
bland, yes, um.
So he was exciting and so thatwas what drew me to him
initially.
But there was hella signs thatI I should have like been like,
okay, brownie, you probablyshouldn't talk to this man.
He's kind of toxic, he's kindof a shitty person.
Like leave him alone.
But then once I got hooked intohim, then once he knew he had
(22:49):
me, that's when the abuse andstuff started.
It didn't start until like sixmonths in, so I dealt with just
a year of abuse, but that was along year for me it was like
forever.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
And I had put him in jail and everything.
It was a lot.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
And I was like never again will I let somebody get me
that far away from myself.
Well, before you go into thatbecause I feel like it's a segue
into my next question whenyou're in these situations and
you're in these, you know thingshow did you have to take your
power back and what did you doto take your power back?
Because I feel like that's apart of you know protecting your
peace too.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
I removed myself yeah , I had to.
I mean, that was really theonly thing.
That was the only way that Ifelt like I could do was to
leave, and I just had to just doit.
Just do it there, just do it.
There was no like oh, what's myexit strategy?
I had to just go, like Iliterally just had to go.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
I feel like we was all going through that, like
during COVID and then a littlebit after, because that's pretty
much what happened to me too,like I was in the thick of it.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
And I was like I'm gonna make this work.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I'll make this work.
I'm gonna try to, I'm gonna tryto force, not force it, but
like force the puzzle pieces tosink down into each other, right
?
We already felt like it don'tfit like, but they don't fit
like a square peg in a roundhole just don't work.
So, like, at some point I had toallow life to happen and I had
to make a decision based off ofthat.
And I think a lot of times whenwe're in those situations, we
get anxiety out of the fear ofoh my gosh, what's going to
happen if this happens?
What's going to happen if heretaliates against me?
(24:22):
What's going to happen if theyrun up on me and I got to defend
myself?
What am I going to do?
But then let that play out,because, realistically speaking,
letting it play out leaves yououtside of the decision making
process.
Right, because now all you haveto do is be responsible for
yourself.
Um, so that's what happened tome, I mean two years ago, see
see, I'm kind of the reverse.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
I've always been in a place where I felt like I had
to be responsible for everybody.
So me taking my power back wasme saying, nah, I'm not gonna do
this, because even in myrelationships, even my
friendships, like I take on thatrole like what needs to be done
, like well, like I remember,like me and one of my friends
(25:04):
had a conversation where she waslike she made a comment about
and we, you know she's going tosee this episode but she made a
comment about well, you keepmaking this comment about how I
don't do anything, and you knowthat makes me think I was.
I was like, well, if you thinkabout it, is that like I don't
feel and that's not anybody'sfault but my own.
I had to realize that that'snot anybody's fault by my own.
(25:24):
That's because I take on tothis is that I don't have the
luxury to just show up and chill.
When I show up, I'm gatheringplates, moving furniture,
cooking, doing this stuff, likeI don't have that.
So maybe my subconscious, maybeit was a little jab you know
what I mean, but that's reallynot her fault.
You know what I mean that youchose to just come, because you
know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
She asked you would you let me do like?
Speaker 2 (25:45):
no, probably not, probably not so like.
For me it's the reverse.
It's like me finding my peaceis like I have to realize that
sometimes it's okay to just showup.
You don't have to feel like youhave to hold the charge or also
to not giving people the chanceto do it.
(26:06):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Like it's a lot, like I'm kind of surprised you
people, they might surprise meso for me that's what I was,
don't though I mean yeah, buttrue and then also we were
saying off word.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
I mean, yeah, but true, we're giving people a
little bit of an out.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
And then also we were saying earlier I was like you
know, it's hard to leavesometimes a situation because
you're so used to it, but likeat the end of the day it's like
okay, if I stay, I'm gonna behurt if I leave, I'm gonna be
hurt, but what's gonna make mebetter at the end of the day?
It's usually leaving thesituation it's going to hurt.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
Yeah, it's going to hurt.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
You're going to hurt either way, at least six months
from now, I'm going to be muchbetter than I was if I stayed
six months in this situation.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Yeah, looking at yourself in the mirror and you
see yourself just become, likeyou said, a shell of yourself.
Girl, my eyes are black.
Yeah, it's bad, I couldn't seeme.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Yeah, I had bags under my eyes.
I looked terrible.
Where am I when?
Speaker 3 (26:58):
am I.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
I lost 20 pounds.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
I was like girl, get your fucking life together.
For me, the red flag that saidthe red flag that said you need
to get out of.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
It was when my body started to react to the
situation I ended up with a rashon my leg.
I ended up developing shingles.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
I ended up having all .
Speaker 3 (27:19):
I had shingles at the age of 24 as a result of the
stress from my relationship.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Yeah, girl, I had a bad ball spot in my head from
low.
Well see, my thing was when Iwas dealing with a relationship,
I knew I was like.
I used to have dreams.
No, I really am Like.
I don't like I be knowing.
Y'all know I be knowing.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
I'll call it.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
I'll be calling it Breathe.
You know I will call a situationand be looking at y'all like
this Bitch, I told you, I toldyou.
But I used to have dreams.
I used to have dreams like mylast relationship.
I literally every dream that hewas in it was us fighting and
breaking up or him leaving andwalking out.
It was us fighting and breakingup or him leaving and walking
(27:56):
out.
Literally there was not onedream of this person that I
slept with every night.
That had so much fun with thatwe were happy in these dreams
that was positive.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
I would literally wake up.
That's your mind playing outthem potential scenarios, and
nothing adds up to beingpositive.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
But I mean but like nothing added up to being
positive and those were thesigns that I kind of like you
know, like I kind of disregarded.
I'm like it's just a dream, youknow, freddie.
Krueger ain't real, but he was.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
You know what I'm saying?
He coming for you, Shawty.
He coming for you.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
It was more.
It was more of like.
You know, taking my power backwas really about like I gotta
focus on KC because I innately,like I'm a family-oriented
person, I'm a friend-orientedperson, like if I got something
going on, like I'm the first onelike y'all wanna go to this,
y'all wanna do this.
You know what I'm saying.
Like I'm the first person to onyour own.
(28:58):
And once you do that and youblossom, then you can come back.
You know what I'm saying like,because you're always going to
have that um, you're alwaysgoing to have that thing inside
of you that's going to want togive back and want to make sure
everybody's good for you.
But if you are already brokenand you've given so much before
you even get to the the fullgoal, you can't, you can't do
what you need to do.
So that was my thing.
For me, yeah, okay.
So y'all know I like to play alittle game.
We're gonna lighten up the mooda little bit, okay, and you
(29:21):
know, since we you know wetalking about black people and
black women, all that good stuffI one of the games that I like
I fell in love with is um, blackcar revoked.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Maybe my car always stays and I'm like 10, but I'm
black.
Come on, you tan, but you black, and it's to me it's one of the
funniest games.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
It makes me tickle.
It literally tickles me.
So, guys, ladies, I have sevenquestions here and I got all.
I have all correct answers.
Okay, I have no majority rules.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
I have all correct answers damn, can we, can we
deliberate amongst each other?
Speaker 2 (29:54):
yes, okay, absolutely y Can we deliberate amongst
each other?
Yes, okay, absolutely.
Y'all want to be on a team ory'all want to be against?
Speaker 3 (29:57):
each other.
Nah, black girls winning, ohblack girls winning, here we go
All right Black card revoked.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
According to mama, what does it mean if your hand
itches?
Speaker 3 (30:10):
Oh you, about to A no , no, no.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
We need A you coming into money baby.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
But people in the world don't know.
Okay, fine.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
They might want to play the game too.
Okay, fine, All right.
A you got a debt to pay.
B you about to lose your hand.
C you need to wash your hand.
D you coming into some money.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
Put that shit in your pocket, baby.
You coming in some bread, okay.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
You coming into some money.
Put that shit in your pocket,baby.
You coming in some bread, okay,you coming in to some money.
Correct, correct, correct,alright.
Next question In what year didCash Money Records take over the
?
Speaker 3 (30:47):
99 and the 2000s, guys.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Guys hold on hold on A 2001 to 2002.
1999 to 2000.
The nine nines in the 2000s C1997 to 1998.
D 2004 to 2005.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
2004 to 2005.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
The answer is B Alex.
The answer is B 1999 to 2000.
All right, next question whatdoes the word stop?
What does the word thoughtstand for?
A the holes of tomorrow.
B temporary hole in time.
(31:34):
C that hole over there.
D it doesn't.
C that hoes over there.
D it doesn't stand for nothing.
That hoes over there.
Ding, ding, ding, ding ding.
Another correct answer thathoes of tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
That's funny, that's funny, that's funny.
That should remind me of Tony.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Stark C is the correct answer.
That hoes over there.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Don't you be writing the ho, writing no tomorrow?
All right, I actually like thatbetter.
I actually like that better.
I like the way it sounds.
That means it's our kids.
Right, it's our kids.
I'm not saying our kids is hotno I don't know All right.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
Cool.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
How many?
Okay, the next question howmany fights did the Fresh Prince
get?
A, 5.
B, 1.
C, 2.
D, 3.
?
I got a one little fight and mymom got scared.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
It's a.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Jim Movie with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Hey, okay, cool, that is the right answer.
B one fight.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
We blackity, black Blackity black.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Well, at least our card isn't getting revoked today
.
All right.
Next question how many moviesdid the rap kid in play acting
together?
Speaker 3 (32:43):
A, 5, B, 3, c, 4, d, 6.
House Ooh, okay, you said 3, 5.
Wait.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
I'll say it again Okay, A, 5, B 3, C, 4, D, 6.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
I want to say 4, 5.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
What is your answer?
Speaker 1 (33:00):
I'm going for A.
What was A?
5?
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Okay, we're good, don't Look team, look team.
If you don't agree, I'm goingto agree with my partner.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
I'm going to move my partner Ding ding, ding ding.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
A5 House party 5.
House party 5 that's too many.
House party 5 I thought thatwas the one in college and they
had the jammy jam girl.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
I don't know only one .
When it's that many, it getmixed up.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Oh no, I love the house party, alright last
question of black heart revokedalright before he was a member
of the nation of Islam.
What was Malcolm X called A?
Young Slim B.
Little Red C Brother Harlem D,detroit Red.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
Probably Brother Harlem.
No, it's one of the reds, oneof the reds.
Okay, little Red.
Then I won't say it's LittleRed.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Wrong.
Detroit Red is the answer.
I know it's one of the reds andthat is our round of Black Card
Revoked.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Cop it up, cop it up, cop it up.
I knew it was one of the reds.
And that is our round of BlackCard Revoked.
Cop it up, cop it up, cop it up.
I knew it was one of the reds.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
They did really good and if you guys are at home
answering the questions, let meknow what your answers were to
these questions too, so I can,like you know, see if your black
card got revoked.
Revoke your black card Boy, theygonna lie.
So, guys, you know, I thinkthis episode was great because a
(34:18):
lot of us are struggling withfiguring out how to protect our
peace, and even a little game,sometimes just to lighten up a
mood, helps with centeringyourself, getting yourself back
together, having fun withfriends and laughing.
That is one of the biggestthings for me is to just laugh,
have a good time and sometimes,even if that laughter is
temporary, it does help and it'salso an active and productive
and positive way to maybe getover those humps that you're
(34:39):
having.
Um, before we wrap up the showtoday, y'all all know I like to
leave a message because I dofeel like you know, I'm not an
expert.
You know what I mean.
I'm not a doctor.
All I know is that what we dohere is give you guys our
opinions and our experiencesthrough the lens of black women,
and that does not negate whatanybody else is going through.
(35:00):
This is just our experiences.
So I'd like to also leave amessage to you guys out there
and I want to pose a question toyou, ellen and Bree what would
you lead to somebody that may behaving trouble protecting their
peace or don't know how toprotect their peace and looking?
Speaker 3 (35:20):
towards protecting it .
Listen to your body.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Listen to your body.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
Listen to your body.
She's going to give you all thecues you need to go.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Know that you are worthy, know that you deserve
all the happiness that you areseeking.
Love you first, because youcan't pour into anyone else if
you don't take care of yourselfshe done this, the second
episode she done had to pee likegirl.
Well, at least she went to theend this time.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
Oh my god her little ass bladder.
This is like a bit like Elladoes not stay for the whole
episode, like she wouldliterally be here and I'm
literally wrapping up about tosay goodbye to everybody, and
now she goes to the bathroom.
So we're just going to pause onthe play for a second.
We're going to wait till shegets back.
I thought you were finished.
I wasn't Okay.
Go back, you are worthy.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
You deserve all the happiness that you want out of
life and do not allow someone totake that from you.
If you have to take it, take astep back and be selfish and, to
make sure that you're good, dothat, because you cannot pour
into anyone else If you areempty, if your vessel is empty,
if you're, if you're not happy,if you're, if you're not well,
(36:33):
take care of you first, always,and do not feel bad about it.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Also, keep yourself honest.
Keep yourself honest.
The one person you cannot lieto is yourself, no matter how
hard you try, no matter what youtry to push down, no matter how
self-conscious you try to be.
Come on in here, girl, I'mcoming back, come back.
So thanks again for y'allcoming on the show and if you
(36:59):
guys have any any questions,comments and you feel a part of,
like I said, we're no experts.
We're just here sharing ourhonest opinions about what we
have gone through, what ourexperiences have gone through,
and but we also want to hearwhat y'all got to say.
Like, be a part of theconversation, join the
conversation.
If you guys need help with anyof this, I'm sure there's local
support groups, local centersthat you guys can go to to get
(37:23):
that extra support if you needit.
But at the end of the day, dowhat's best for you.
Again, we have brianna, we havehel and that's it.
That's all.
That's it.
That's all is written by me,casey Carnage, and produced by
myself and Rick Barrio-Dill.
(37:45):
Associate producer Brie Corey.
Assistant producer LarissaDonahoe.
Audio and video engineering andstudio facilities provided by
Slap Studios LA, withdistribution through our
collective for social progressand cultural expression, slap
the Network.
If you have any ideas for ashow you want to hear or see,
(38:05):
please email us at info atslapphepowercom.
And, as always, go todazitdassallcom and sign up
there, to make sure you willnever miss a thing.
See you next show.
baby, you got one time to play with me now, right,
and I deserve for you to get itright the first time.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Now, if it's something small, okay, that's
different, but like major things.
Baby, you only got one time toplay in my face, yeah, and
recently that happened and likegot cut off and he didn't know
what to do.
He's like damn, you just like,you just threw me away.
I'm like it's not that I aboutyou and I didn't like you, it's
just you're playing with me.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Yeah, and what's that ?
It was a DMX quote.
He said the first time peopletell you who they are believe
them Believe, them Believe them,believe them.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
That's it, that's all .
That's it, that's all.
Black excellence at its finest.
How that skin glows, she's atrue diamond, with the world
right out back.
She's still smiling.
Never let that crown sit.
She stay thriving.
That's it, that's all.
That's it, that's all.
(00:59):
Keep it real.
That's it.
That's all.
That's it, that's all.
Is that really it, though?
(01:20):
And just you know, being ableto center yourself, alleviate
distractions and just get to apoint in your life where you can
move in coordinates to what youwant in your life, and
sometimes blocking out thosethings that don't serve you,
that's a part of protecting yourpeace.
So that's what we're going totalk about, and y'all you know
we got our usual suspects on theshow today.
(01:40):
We got Brianna Dewey Gang gang.
We got Ellen Brinch Hi and Ishow.
Today we got Brianna Dewey gang, we got Ellen Brinch, and I
just want to jump right into itbefore, like um, you know, you
know the term protecting yourpeace gets thrown around a lot,
so I actually looked it up.
PYP yes, I actually, I actuallylooked it up, and so when I
looked it up, um it, thedefinition that came um, of
(02:01):
protecting your peace issafeguarding your physical,
mental and spiritual self inways that you define it for
yourself.
So your peace, basically.
That's basically saying thatyour peace is not somebody
else's peace.
Some people live in chaos,somebody needs to live in
isolation, and that is just asimportant, depending on what you
defined it for yourself.
(02:21):
So, but the most importantthing that I read was that when
you spend the time to focus onachieving your peace in your
life, you learn to build a moresignificant relationship with
yourself and how you respond tothings in life, and that was
like that was something that Iliterally like I was like that
makes a lot of sense and I thinkthat comes with a lot of
maturity.
And when you learn yourself moreand you actually can be alone
(02:45):
because some people have a hardtime being by themselves you
know what I mean.
Like actually like cutting outthe noise, and it was funny well
, not necessarily funny, but itwas very interesting that the
definition really came aboutlike, when you're protecting
your peace, you're reallyinitially getting to know
yourself, and that comes withknowing what you want and how to
move and how you react tothings, because if you don't
(03:05):
know what you really want, howcan you react in the proper way?
So let's just jump right intoit.
Um, tell me a few things thaty'all do to protect y'all peace
go ahead.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Okay, for me it's setting very firm and clear
boundaries and not wavering onthem.
Um, I used to be have a badhabit of of setting boundaries
and then like, oh, because onthem.
I used to have a bad habit ofsetting boundaries and then like
, oh, because I like the personthat I let stuff slide.
I don't do that anymore.
Clear boundaries Respect them.
If you can't respect them,gotta go, I'm out.
(03:37):
Skrrt, skrrt, gotta go, gottablast.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Where is that from, though, cause my brain was like.
I know that.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
I know that I gotta fucking go, you can't respect my
boundaries, like I gotta go.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
That's probably first and foremost and then also like
just self love.
I take myself on dates.
I make sure that I'm in lovewith me and who I am, because
how can you protect somethingthat you don't love and respect?
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, agreed, so Snap, snap, snaps.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
So, Ellen, how about you?
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Protecting my peace.
I like to be alone.
I was the only child until Iwas 11 years old, so my happy
place is in my room watching tvwith the door closed, because
some people got problem withclosed doors.
No more locked doors.
I ain't locking it.
I close it though, um.
But I think beyond that, it'smore so creating relationships
(04:41):
with people where they have theopportunity, if I feel
comfortable with them seeing meat every facet.
So like y'all have seen me good, bad, indifferent, like I don't
what y'all hoes, I love y'allbut I don't fuck with y'all but
that's me trying to like stillhave a relationship, but
protecting the part of me thatfeels vulnerable or fragile
so I think, um, beyond you know,isolation, because that's what
(05:05):
I, that's what I lean into um,yoga is really good for me
because I can get in, out of myhead and my body and just move
and do something that at the endof it I'm sweating and I feel
good and endorphins are flowing.
So those are the three mainthings that I try to do to, like
, protect my just saying sanitywell, that's what's up.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
I mean, like I guess, for myself, I am a very blunt
person and I feel like whensomething is bothering me, the
only time I can't see clearly isif I'm holding it in, I'm
trying to wait to whatever it is.
Like I've always been a verygood communicator, like y'all
know, like y'all gonna knowwhat's on my mind and I'm gonna
tell it.
I'm gonna say I don't care, andI think that sometimes people
(05:48):
take that as like you're beingbrash or you're being rude.
It's really me protecting mypeace, like I have to stand firm
in what I believe and what Isay and what I don't want.
And if y'all don't understandme by now and know that it
doesn't necessarily come from itcomes from love, it always
comes from love.
But it's also like there's aseparation between, you know,
wanting to keep everybody happyaround you, opposed to putting
(06:14):
yourself first.
And I think that because I putmyself first, a lot people
misconstrue that as, oh, she'salways on her own accord.
I was like no, I put myselffirst to be the betterment for
the rest of y'all, because if Idon't put myself first, I can't
be the authentic Casey thaty'all know, I can't be the good
friend that you know that can.
That will come to you when youneed me to come to you, because
(06:34):
I haven't taken that time to sayno, I don't want to do this or
no, I'm not.
You know I don't agree withthat, you know.
So I guess for me, how Iprotect my peace is really
keeping myself grounded, sayingno when I mean no, and not doing
yeah like boundaries, and notdoing the things that I don't
want to do, regardless of whatpeople have to say, because
y'all could tell, okay, y'allknow I don't care, like I don't
(06:57):
care, it's like y'all know Idon't care, so it's, but it
never.
You know, like I always wantpeople to know that it never
comes out of like being like.
You know, like I feel like I'mbetter than anything or whatever
.
It's a fact that, like somepeople deal with battles that
they will never tell.
You know what I mean.
Like we talk about the anxietything, some people do things out
of anxiety Like I can't be here.
(07:18):
Yes, everybody going, yes, cool, yes, I told you I was gonna be
there, but I woke up today andbody said no, you know what I
mean and I think that's a partabout, um, you know protecting
your peace, being honest withyourself, and, you know,
honoring what you're feeling atthe time you're feeling it.
So that's, I mean, that's whatI would ask.
So let's um.
So my next question would bewhat um kind of relationship do
(07:41):
you have with yourself, good andbad, or good or bad?
Speaker 1 (07:46):
I feel like the last.
I would say the last threeyears I've really worked on
loving myself and making surethat I'm good and, like Ellen
said, I enjoy actually beingalone now so that anybody who
comes into my space are youadding to my life?
(08:07):
Are you adding to what I alreadyenjoy or are you causing more
trouble?
Because if you're causing moretrouble, you're not gonna be
there like you have to now.
I'm at a point in my life where, if you're not adding to my
space, my, my happiness, myoverall being you won't be there
and I have no problem cuttingyou off and don't have to
explain myself and people likeyou just cut me off.
I'm like I did, yeah, and youhave that right, and I'm like I
do have the right.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
People are used to like you just cut me off.
I'm like I did, yeah, and youhave that right, and people
forget that too.
Like you do have the right,people are used to like to not
explain yourself.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Yeah people get.
People are so used to havingmultiple chances to do you wrong
and do wrong by you, and I'mlike baby.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
You got one time to play with me now right and I
deserve for you to get it rightthe first time now, if it's
something small, that'sdifferent, but like major things
.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Baby, you only got one time to play in my face and
and recently that happened andlike got cut off and he didn't
know what to do.
He's like damn, you just like,you just threw me away.
I'm like it's not that becauseI don't care about you and I
didn't like you, it's justyou're playing with me yeah, and
what's that?
Speaker 3 (08:59):
it was the first time people tell you who they are
believe them believe them likeit's 100.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
True, because, like I guess, like you know the
relationship with self and likewhether it's good or bad, the
thing is like, especially as youget older, there's a lot of
things that people look.
I guess the point that I'msaying is that OK, so especially
this happens when you knowpeople for a long time.
I think this is where the grayarea happens, yeah because they
known a version of you that theygotten used to.
(09:36):
And when you come into your ownand you decide to really put
yourself first and really goafter your goals, you got to
understand, like I, that part,Like I was't that person?
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Parts of me got to die.
She don't live here, no, more.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Yeah, she don't live here, no more, and I'm going to
be selfish a little bit moreselfish than I used to be and
I'm going to put myself first insituations where I normally
wouldn't have.
And you're going to have toaccept that Some people can't
handle that, but also that showsa lot about them and and where
they are in their life too,because it's two types of people
.
I don't have to deal with theperson that you, if you choose
(10:07):
not to grow, you can't come withme then, that's okay, and it's
two types of people, and that'sokay too.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
It's the person that always goes back to who they was
in high school and be like ohwell, this is how I was in high
school, this is the kind of vibeI was in high school, but that
was the peak of their experience, right, whereas me and you and
I'm sure so many people peakedin high school.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I was a geek in high school.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
I was a ugly duckling in high school, so that was not
my peak.
I was cool, okay, well, y'allwas your peak, then whatever,
but that was not my peak um.
I had friends who were popular.
But me, in and of myself, I wasnot that girl like.
I could traverse differentfriend groups and not feel like
I didn't belong, but at the endof the day I didn't have.
No, I feel you know, I feel youno, no, but here's the thing.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
I feel you in that, because I necessarily didn't
think I was the prettiest girlin high school.
I just was an athlete and I,you know, like we had good
friends.
You know I'm a good person, I'man inviting person.
So when I say I was cool, I wasjoking like I was cool but I
didn't feel like I came into myown until I got to college.
Yeah, so I feel you on that.
Like it was when I got tocollege and moved out of Jersey
and was beating around Marylandand I didn't have my best
(11:11):
friends that I've known sinceforever and I really had to
become who I wanted to become inthat life.
But at the same time, thatCasey is still a different
version than the Casey you'reseeing today.
So when people come back at youit's like well, you used to do
this.
I was like I wish somebodytried to throw something in my
face that I did 10 years ago.
She don't live here, no more.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
And dot dot dot she in rehab, she going, she dead.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
RIP.
The gravestone is over there.
I'll show you to the plot shedead, she's.
That's the thing I think peoplelike you know, like going back
to you know the topic is thatpeople that haven't reached a
certain level of higher thinkingor higher learning are actually
doing the work.
They want to pull you back down.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
They want to pull you to a level where they are?
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Are they having elevated?
Speaker 3 (11:57):
to and baby.
You're not going to do thatover here, but I think that's
the.
That's the part to consider,because the people that try to
pull you back down, want you tobe in that same thought process
so they can do the same thingsthat they did to you before and
like for me, I have a lot offriends who I don't even talk to
anymore.
If they hit me up I'll be like,hey, how are you?
But as far as rehashing andreminiscing on stuff that I did
(12:20):
in high school college, I'm adifferent person.
I mean, I'm a different personthan where I was when you met me
two years ago.
Yeah, you had hair.
You're beautiful.
Anyway, kc for all the peopleout there, who is hating on the
short, you know teeny-weeny Afrogirl.
She's a little Annie now.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
I mean, at least I told you to your face, friend.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
But she's still beautiful.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
She's still beautiful .
She's so beautiful and she'sone of my best friends and I
love her to death.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Is that the first time you cut your hair, though?
No, it's not, but yes, she was.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
I was bobbing and weaving Tomorrow, tomorrow, I
love you tomorrow.
That's what she said.
It's hard to live for us.
Love y'all.
Love y'all, cause I was you getkicked, daddy kisses, you get
kicked.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Alright, Daddy Warbucks.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Okay, okay, okay.
Back to what you said.
This is what happens when youtry to talk about serious stuff
with your actual friends.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
You're supposed to be going off.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
You're supposed to be but overall, I think that's the
part that resonates with me,with what you said, of just
being like a different personand allowing yourself to have
friends that get to see you inall of your different facets.
So I feel like, with you all,y'all have got to see me pretty
much through all the phases ofwho I am as a person, um, that I
(13:52):
know of at this point in mylife but, um, moving forward,
y'all might be my friends andthen, when I have kids, I'll be
like them kids, because wealready talked about it.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
You know what I'm saying, but like, and that's
okay and that's fair, but we canbe well, well well, well, I'm
ready to be the rich auntie so Imight not be fucking kids all
the way, just 50% okay, justdon't bring them out.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
I'll visit you you don't want me to bring my kids
out.
I'm just joking.
I'm just joking, I actuallylove kids.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
The person that's in it.
I actually really like kids, Ilove kids, I actually really
like kids, so definitely havesome.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
And my brothers, you all watching.
Y'all need to hurry to fuck uptoo Definitely have some.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
I mean I'm good with my cat.
I'm good with my cat son, butlike I do I, to be completely
honest so it's a baby versus akid.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
I love a baby, I love a little and I love a toddler.
Okay, see, you like toddlers,see, so you got stages.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
So we're here, I like talking we're here, we're here
but like I feel you on that, solet's move on to the next
question.
Has somebody rattled your peace?
Speaker 3 (14:56):
yes, yes, and when I was not in a place like mentally
and emotionally, as far as liketherapy, you know stuff like
that it had me fucked up, but asa result of the time and effort
I put in and that's what I wasgoing to mention.
As far as like shadow work,like people aren't ready to do
that, even if they don't haveeducation, if they don't even,
they just graduated high schooland they went and got a
(15:18):
vocational job.
Majority of people out here inthis world just I am the way I
am because I am, but they got avocational job.
Majority of people out here inthis world just I am the way I
am because I am, but they don'tdo the shadow work to be like
well, why am I this way?
Why do these things trigger me?
Why is this happening to meover and over and over in my
life?
So I've done that work.
So before I did that work, thatperson would have me out
ripping and running.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
But let's be real though, like that work doesn't
stop, it's a continuous work butbeing, but being aware, no no,
no, no, totally no.
I'm just adding on to whatyou're saying because, like,
don't not for one moment thinkthat, like as you're elevating
and as you're evolving, thatthat works out.
Oh, I did it.
I want to think, no, it is aconstant game and a constant
(15:58):
learning mechanism, that,because your life changes.
I mean, just think about likewhere you were, even last year
yeah, well, I think this time.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
So if I think about the situations that I have
willingly put myself in in thepast year, I think that there
have been instances in which, ifI had experienced those a year
ago, I would not be mentally andemotionally prepared for it.
So that's what I meant with theshadow work.
I meant with understanding that, like if you don't know, like
you said, what you need, how youneed to move through life, then
(16:28):
when you look at somebody elseand they're not treating you the
way you want to be treated, youdon't really have nobody to
blame but yourself girl, don't?
Speaker 2 (16:34):
I know it like I'm definitely guilty of it.
Like, just like, for a longtime.
I guess what I can say is thatI have been very good at being a
chameleon, like I'm smart, I'man educated woman, I'm
articulate, I can move in anycrowd I want to move in.
As far as internal work,there's been a lot of dark
(16:56):
spaces.
There's been a lot of timeswhere I've doubted.
There's been a lot of times Ilooked at something like why do
I keep hitting this wall?
I'm able to take, I've I'vealways been a person where I've
able to take an idea out of myhead and execute it, how it's
gone, or how far it's gone it.
You know, sometimes it didn'tquite work out the way I worked
(17:17):
out, like wanted to work, and itcaused a lot of self-doubt.
You know what I mean.
It caused a lot of like why canI?
Was like I can get to, I canget to be, I can get to be, but
I can't get to that C place,like why?
You know what I mean.
And it took, you know, it tooksome time to understand that.
Like it's, it's a part oflearning a journey, like
enjoying the journey, like eachtime I do something, I've
(17:38):
learned something else that hashelped me in the next project
I've done and I've gotten alittle bit further.
And because I have those skillsets and most of them, you know,
outside of my degree andoutside of like whatever, most
of that is self-taught andperseverance.
And every time I like, I say tomyself, like, do I have more?
Like, do I, do I even have moreto to give or do I have any
(18:01):
more?
It takes sometimes a long timeto like get out of that rut.
You know what I mean.
But there's always a sign Like Iliterally like, literally, like
God talked to me the other dayin the shower, like no, like lie
, and it's like I've been like Iwouldn't say that I'm a
religious, but I grew up in a,you know, in a religious home.
You know religious home.
You know I'm more spiritual mix, like I'm like a hybrid between
(18:22):
religion and spiritual, becauseI still do believe in science
stuff, but I do believe thatthere's a higher power.
Um, I was in the shower and youknow there's a lot of stuff
going on with my family rightnow and I literally like heard
this whisper and was like, and Iwas feeling like like I wasn't
getting invited places like.
I think it was a day where I waslike I was asking my friends
you know what was going on.
(18:42):
I felt like I wasn't gettinginvited or whatever, or I was
being forgot about or something,or I feel very isolated.
Lately, you know what I meanand it literally said to me I
was like God has put you inisolation because it's time for
you to get to work and whenyou're getting put in these
spaces internally because you'reused to like, we're going back
to like what we're talking about, who we used to be.
(19:02):
You know what I mean.
Like me, and Brie ran thestreets.
Brie has known me when I waslike Brie, let's go, brie, let's
go.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
We got this, we got this.
No, but I'm saying like, like,for real, like every day.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Brie knew, every day I had an whatever and that has
completely halted for me and andthat's been hard, like to be
honest, like it's been hard,like feeling, like you're very
like feeding off of people'senergy.
You're very like in that in themix and it makes you feel a lot
and it makes me feel importantand that's my ego, like I felt,
like my ego wasn't being served,but it literally like god spoke
(19:38):
to me.
It's like I've put you inisolation because it's time for
you to get to work, and once Iput that in there, so it was the
opposite.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
for you, Silence rattled your peace not people.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Silence rattled my peace.
Silence rattled my peace and Ihad to.
And I think like when I gotthat message I was like that
makes sense, because I have somany moving pieces going on in
my life or what I'm building,and your life went still.
You was like what the fuckExactly, and it was just like no
, I put you in this spacebecause you have way more
(20:07):
important things to worry aboutright now and when you're ready
for those calls and stuff tocome back, they will.
So that was my experience.
It was more so like that was mysituation as far as rattling my
piece, because you know I ain'tso silent girl as far as
rattling my piece because youknow, I ain't so silent girl,
yeah, mine mine was I.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Right before I moved out here, I was in a
relationship with this guy and Iwas in a very toxic, abusive,
physically, mentally, emotionalrelationship and, when I tell
you, this man gutted me to thecore, like I was just a shell of
myself.
I didn't know who I was, whereI was.
The only thing that got me outof that situation was my will to
live um was like survival so,literally, survival was like
(20:47):
Brianna if you don't leave, you,don't get out this rut that
you're in he had.
He had me isolated from myfamily, my friends, my, my, my
brothers, everybody, people whoI talked to on a daily basis,
like every day, and didn't goand then went from going to talk
to them every day to nottalking to him for a year.
I was, oh my God.
Literally, my will to live waslike Brian if you don't leave
(21:09):
him, he's going to kill you.
And that's literally how I feltand that was the only thing
that got me out of thatsituation.
But even then, once I left, Istill felt empty.
I felt hollow.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
I didn't know who I was Because he had reinforced a
lot of things.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
that yes he manipulated me, textbook
manipulator, textbook, textbook,textbook and um, and I was, I
mean, I was, I was younger tooand he was an older guy, so like
I mean, but I just didn't knowwho I was and I was just like,
so I, just the last five yearsthat I've been in la, I've just
been like doing the work that's,taking care of myself and
getting back to me and baby, Ipromise you that if that ever
(21:40):
happened again, the responsewould be a lot.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
You ain't even got to worry about that because you
share a location.
So we're going to pull up.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
So let me ask a question about that, Bri I know,
going a year, we would talk,not talk, talk, talk.
If you're a year, y'all willpull up.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Let me ask you a question on that though, bri,
because it's like disregardingthe signs, like how did he get
you to that place?
Like what about?
What about this particularperson or situation?
Speaker 1 (22:04):
I definitely ignored.
I definitely ignored hella redflags with him before the the
physical abuse even started.
Mm-hmm.
Um, he was just a person andbut he was exciting, it was fun.
He was because the guys that Iwas dating before were just very
like vanilla, very regular,very, and I'm like, I'm like 23,
24, so I was he was looking forsome excitement.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
He was exciting.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Yeah, the guys I was dating before was just very you
know, they were very vanilla,they were right, they were very
bland, yes, um.
So he was exciting and so thatwas what drew me to him
initially.
But there was hella signs thatI I should have like been like,
okay, brownie, you probablyshouldn't talk to this man.
He's kind of toxic, he's kindof a shitty person.
Like leave him alone.
But then once I got hooked intohim, then once he knew he had
(22:49):
me, that's when the abuse andstuff started.
It didn't start until like sixmonths in, so I dealt with just
a year of abuse, but that was along year for me it was like
forever.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
And I had put him in jail and everything.
It was a lot.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
And I was like never again will I let somebody get me
that far away from myself.
Well, before you go into thatbecause I feel like it's a segue
into my next question whenyou're in these situations and
you're in these, you know thingshow did you have to take your
power back and what did you doto take your power back?
Because I feel like that's apart of you know protecting your
peace too.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
I removed myself yeah , I had to.
I mean, that was really theonly thing.
That was the only way that Ifelt like I could do was to
leave, and I just had to just doit.
Just do it there, just do it.
There was no like oh, what's myexit strategy?
I had to just go, like Iliterally just had to go.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
I feel like we was all going through that, like
during COVID and then a littlebit after, because that's pretty
much what happened to me too,like I was in the thick of it.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
And I was like I'm gonna make this work.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I'll make this work.
I'm gonna try to, I'm gonna tryto force, not force it, but
like force the puzzle pieces tosink down into each other, right
?
We already felt like it don'tfit like, but they don't fit
like a square peg in a roundhole just don't work.
So, like, at some point I had toallow life to happen and I had
to make a decision based off ofthat.
And I think a lot of times whenwe're in those situations, we
get anxiety out of the fear ofoh my gosh, what's going to
happen if this happens?
What's going to happen if heretaliates against me?
(24:22):
What's going to happen if theyrun up on me and I got to defend
myself?
What am I going to do?
But then let that play out,because, realistically speaking,
letting it play out leaves yououtside of the decision making
process.
Right, because now all you haveto do is be responsible for
yourself.
Um, so that's what happened tome, I mean two years ago, see
see, I'm kind of the reverse.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
I've always been in a place where I felt like I had
to be responsible for everybody.
So me taking my power back wasme saying, nah, I'm not gonna do
this, because even in myrelationships, even my
friendships, like I take on thatrole like what needs to be done
, like well, like I remember,like me and one of my friends
(25:04):
had a conversation where she waslike she made a comment about
and we, you know she's going tosee this episode but she made a
comment about well, you keepmaking this comment about how I
don't do anything, and you knowthat makes me think I was.
I was like, well, if you thinkabout it, is that like I don't
feel and that's not anybody'sfault but my own.
I had to realize that that'snot anybody's fault by my own.
(25:24):
That's because I take on tothis is that I don't have the
luxury to just show up and chill.
When I show up, I'm gatheringplates, moving furniture,
cooking, doing this stuff, likeI don't have that.
So maybe my subconscious, maybeit was a little jab you know
what I mean, but that's reallynot her fault.
You know what I mean that youchose to just come, because you
know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
She asked you would you let me do like?
Speaker 2 (25:45):
no, probably not, probably not so like.
For me it's the reverse.
It's like me finding my peaceis like I have to realize that
sometimes it's okay to just showup.
You don't have to feel like youhave to hold the charge or also
to not giving people the chanceto do it.
(26:06):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Like it's a lot, like I'm kind of surprised you
people, they might surprise meso for me that's what I was,
don't though I mean yeah, buttrue and then also we were
saying off word.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
I mean, yeah, but true, we're giving people a
little bit of an out.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
And then also we were saying earlier I was like you
know, it's hard to leavesometimes a situation because
you're so used to it, but likeat the end of the day it's like
okay, if I stay, I'm gonna behurt if I leave, I'm gonna be
hurt, but what's gonna make mebetter at the end of the day?
It's usually leaving thesituation it's going to hurt.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
Yeah, it's going to hurt.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
You're going to hurt either way, at least six months
from now, I'm going to be muchbetter than I was if I stayed
six months in this situation.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Yeah, looking at yourself in the mirror and you
see yourself just become, likeyou said, a shell of yourself.
Girl, my eyes are black.
Yeah, it's bad, I couldn't seeme.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Yeah, I had bags under my eyes.
I looked terrible.
Where am I when?
Speaker 3 (26:58):
am I.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
I lost 20 pounds.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
I was like girl, get your fucking life together.
For me, the red flag that saidthe red flag that said you need
to get out of.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
It was when my body started to react to the
situation I ended up with a rashon my leg.
I ended up developing shingles.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
I ended up having all .
Speaker 3 (27:19):
I had shingles at the age of 24 as a result of the
stress from my relationship.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Yeah, girl, I had a bad ball spot in my head from
low.
Well see, my thing was when Iwas dealing with a relationship,
I knew I was like.
I used to have dreams.
No, I really am Like.
I don't like I be knowing.
Y'all know I be knowing.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
I'll call it.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
I'll be calling it Breathe.
You know I will call a situationand be looking at y'all like
this Bitch, I told you, I toldyou.
But I used to have dreams.
I used to have dreams like mylast relationship.
I literally every dream that hewas in it was us fighting and
breaking up or him leaving andwalking out.
It was us fighting and breakingup or him leaving and walking
(27:56):
out.
Literally there was not onedream of this person that I
slept with every night.
That had so much fun with thatwe were happy in these dreams
that was positive.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
I would literally wake up.
That's your mind playing outthem potential scenarios, and
nothing adds up to beingpositive.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
But I mean but like nothing added up to being
positive and those were thesigns that I kind of like you
know, like I kind of disregarded.
I'm like it's just a dream, youknow, freddie.
Krueger ain't real, but he was.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
You know what I'm saying?
He coming for you, Shawty.
He coming for you.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
It was more.
It was more of like.
You know, taking my power backwas really about like I gotta
focus on KC because I innately,like I'm a family-oriented
person, I'm a friend-orientedperson, like if I got something
going on, like I'm the first onelike y'all wanna go to this,
y'all wanna do this.
You know what I'm saying.
Like I'm the first person to onyour own.
(28:58):
And once you do that and youblossom, then you can come back.
You know what I'm saying like,because you're always going to
have that um, you're alwaysgoing to have that thing inside
of you that's going to want togive back and want to make sure
everybody's good for you.
But if you are already brokenand you've given so much before
you even get to the the fullgoal, you can't, you can't do
what you need to do.
So that was my thing.
For me, yeah, okay.
So y'all know I like to play alittle game.
We're gonna lighten up the mooda little bit, okay, and you
(29:21):
know, since we you know wetalking about black people and
black women, all that good stuffI one of the games that I like
I fell in love with is um, blackcar revoked.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Maybe my car always stays and I'm like 10, but I'm
black.
Come on, you tan, but you black, and it's to me it's one of the
funniest games.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
It makes me tickle.
It literally tickles me.
So, guys, ladies, I have sevenquestions here and I got all.
I have all correct answers.
Okay, I have no majority rules.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
I have all correct answers damn, can we, can we
deliberate amongst each other?
Speaker 2 (29:54):
yes, okay, absolutely y Can we deliberate amongst
each other?
Yes, okay, absolutely.
Y'all want to be on a team ory'all want to be against?
Speaker 3 (29:57):
each other.
Nah, black girls winning, ohblack girls winning, here we go
All right Black card revoked.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
According to mama, what does it mean if your hand
itches?
Speaker 3 (30:10):
Oh you, about to A no , no, no.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
We need A you coming into money baby.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
But people in the world don't know.
Okay, fine.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
They might want to play the game too.
Okay, fine, All right.
A you got a debt to pay.
B you about to lose your hand.
C you need to wash your hand.
D you coming into some money.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
Put that shit in your pocket, baby.
You coming in some bread, okay.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
You coming into some money.
Put that shit in your pocket,baby.
You coming in some bread, okay,you coming in to some money.
Correct, correct, correct,alright.
Next question In what year didCash Money Records take over the
?
Speaker 3 (30:47):
99 and the 2000s, guys.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Guys hold on hold on A 2001 to 2002.
1999 to 2000.
The nine nines in the 2000s C1997 to 1998.
D 2004 to 2005.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
2004 to 2005.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
The answer is B Alex.
The answer is B 1999 to 2000.
All right, next question whatdoes the word stop?
What does the word thoughtstand for?
A the holes of tomorrow.
B temporary hole in time.
(31:34):
C that hole over there.
D it doesn't.
C that hoes over there.
D it doesn't stand for nothing.
That hoes over there.
Ding, ding, ding, ding ding.
Another correct answer thathoes of tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
That's funny, that's funny, that's funny.
That should remind me of Tony.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Stark C is the correct answer.
That hoes over there.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Don't you be writing the ho, writing no tomorrow?
All right, I actually like thatbetter.
I actually like that better.
I like the way it sounds.
That means it's our kids.
Right, it's our kids.
I'm not saying our kids is hotno I don't know All right.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
Cool.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
How many?
Okay, the next question howmany fights did the Fresh Prince
get?
A, 5.
B, 1.
C, 2.
D, 3.
?
I got a one little fight and mymom got scared.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
It's a.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Jim Movie with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Hey, okay, cool, that is the right answer.
B one fight.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
We blackity, black Blackity black.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Well, at least our card isn't getting revoked today
.
All right.
Next question how many moviesdid the rap kid in play acting
together?
Speaker 3 (32:43):
A, 5, B, 3, c, 4, d, 6.
House Ooh, okay, you said 3, 5.
Wait.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
I'll say it again Okay, A, 5, B 3, C, 4, D, 6.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
I want to say 4, 5.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
What is your answer?
Speaker 1 (33:00):
I'm going for A.
What was A?
5?
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Okay, we're good, don't Look team, look team.
If you don't agree, I'm goingto agree with my partner.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
I'm going to move my partner Ding ding, ding ding.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
A5 House party 5.
House party 5 that's too many.
House party 5 I thought thatwas the one in college and they
had the jammy jam girl.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
I don't know only one .
When it's that many, it getmixed up.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Oh no, I love the house party, alright last
question of black heart revokedalright before he was a member
of the nation of Islam.
What was Malcolm X called A?
Young Slim B.
Little Red C Brother Harlem D,detroit Red.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
Probably Brother Harlem.
No, it's one of the reds, oneof the reds.
Okay, little Red.
Then I won't say it's LittleRed.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Wrong.
Detroit Red is the answer.
I know it's one of the reds andthat is our round of Black Card
Revoked.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Cop it up, cop it up, cop it up.
I knew it was one of the reds.
And that is our round of BlackCard Revoked.
Cop it up, cop it up, cop it up.
I knew it was one of the reds.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
They did really good and if you guys are at home
answering the questions, let meknow what your answers were to
these questions too, so I can,like you know, see if your black
card got revoked.
Revoke your black card Boy, theygonna lie.
So, guys, you know, I thinkthis episode was great because a
(34:18):
lot of us are struggling withfiguring out how to protect our
peace, and even a little game,sometimes just to lighten up a
mood, helps with centeringyourself, getting yourself back
together, having fun withfriends and laughing.
That is one of the biggestthings for me is to just laugh,
have a good time and sometimes,even if that laughter is
temporary, it does help and it'salso an active and productive
and positive way to maybe getover those humps that you're
(34:39):
having.
Um, before we wrap up the showtoday, y'all all know I like to
leave a message because I dofeel like you know, I'm not an
expert.
You know what I mean.
I'm not a doctor.
All I know is that what we dohere is give you guys our
opinions and our experiencesthrough the lens of black women,
and that does not negate whatanybody else is going through.
(35:00):
This is just our experiences.
So I'd like to also leave amessage to you guys out there
and I want to pose a question toyou, ellen and Bree what would
you lead to somebody that may behaving trouble protecting their
peace or don't know how toprotect their peace and looking?
Speaker 3 (35:20):
towards protecting it .
Listen to your body.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Listen to your body.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
Listen to your body.
She's going to give you all thecues you need to go.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Know that you are worthy, know that you deserve
all the happiness that you areseeking.
Love you first, because youcan't pour into anyone else if
you don't take care of yourselfshe done this, the second
episode she done had to pee likegirl.
Well, at least she went to theend this time.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
Oh my god her little ass bladder.
This is like a bit like Elladoes not stay for the whole
episode, like she wouldliterally be here and I'm
literally wrapping up about tosay goodbye to everybody, and
now she goes to the bathroom.
So we're just going to pause onthe play for a second.
We're going to wait till shegets back.
I thought you were finished.
I wasn't Okay.
Go back, you are worthy.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
You deserve all the happiness that you want out of
life and do not allow someone totake that from you.
If you have to take it, take astep back and be selfish and, to
make sure that you're good, dothat, because you cannot pour
into anyone else If you areempty, if your vessel is empty,
if you're, if you're not happy,if you're, if you're not well,
(36:33):
take care of you first, always,and do not feel bad about it.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Also, keep yourself honest.
Keep yourself honest.
The one person you cannot lieto is yourself, no matter how
hard you try, no matter what youtry to push down, no matter how
self-conscious you try to be.
Come on in here, girl, I'mcoming back, come back.
So thanks again for y'allcoming on the show and if you
(36:59):
guys have any any questions,comments and you feel a part of,
like I said, we're no experts.
We're just here sharing ourhonest opinions about what we
have gone through, what ourexperiences have gone through,
and but we also want to hearwhat y'all got to say.
Like, be a part of theconversation, join the
conversation.
If you guys need help with anyof this, I'm sure there's local
support groups, local centersthat you guys can go to to get
(37:23):
that extra support if you needit.
But at the end of the day, dowhat's best for you.
Again, we have brianna, we havehel and that's it.
That's all.
That's it.
That's all is written by me,casey Carnage, and produced by
myself and Rick Barrio-Dill.
(37:45):
Associate producer Brie Corey.
Assistant producer LarissaDonahoe.
Audio and video engineering andstudio facilities provided by
Slap Studios LA, withdistribution through our
collective for social progressand cultural expression, slap
the Network.
If you have any ideas for ashow you want to hear or see,
(38:05):
please email us at info atslapphepowercom.
And, as always, go todazitdassallcom and sign up
there, to make sure you willnever miss a thing.
See you next show.
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