September 3, 2025 • 43 mins
In this inspiring episode of the Dead America Podcast, host Ed Watters sits down with Lawrence Harris—youth empowerment speaker, author, and trauma survivor—for a powerful conversation about resilience, healing, and personal transformation.
Lawrence began his journey at just fifteen years old, navigating the aftermath of childhood abuse and complex PTSD. Through years of self-discovery and inner work, he emerged as a passionate advocate for turning adversity into strength. In this episode, Lawrence shares how self-love became the foundation of his healing and why building trust and setting achievable goals are essential steps in reclaiming one’s life.
Listeners will gain valuable insights into the role of support systems, emotional intelligence, and community in overcoming personal trauma. Lawrence’s story is not only one of survival—it’s a blueprint for empowerment. His message resonates with anyone seeking to rise above pain and create a life rooted in purpose and impact.
Whether you're facing your own challenges or supporting others through theirs, this episode offers hope, clarity, and practical tools for growth. Tune in to hear how Lawrence Harris transformed trauma into triumph—and how you can too.
00:00 Introduction and Opening Thoughts
00:54 Meet Lawrence Harris: Youth Empowerment Speaker
01:20 Lawrence's Journey: Overcoming Childhood Trauma
07:49 Personal Reflections and Shared Experiences
12:51 The Importance of Self-Care and Support Systems
25:04 Building Discipline and Overcoming Bad Habits
31:47 Future Plans and Final Thoughts
42:15 Closing Remarks and Contact Information
Social media links
Instagram: / lawrencec.empowers
Tiktok: / lawrencecempowers
Youtube: / @lawrencecempowers
My website: https://www.lawrencecharris.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
I relate to it a lot because, for one,with all the mud, and people, places,
and things we carry around with us.
Until we become aware and consciousof it, we are just muddying
up everything in our life.
Think of it like.
(00:54):
Today, we're speakingwith Lawrence Harris.
He is a youth empowermentspeaker and an author.
Lawrence, could you please introduceyourself and let people know just
a little more about you, please?
Well, firstly, it's fantastic to be here.
And a little bit about me is, firstof all, I got into speaking when I was
(01:17):
fifteen years old, and now I'm nineteen.
So got into it very young simply becauseI realized that after overcoming my
struggles with things like childhoodabuse and complex post-traumatic stress
disorder, which it's a bit more nuancedthan typical PTSD as people are used to
(01:38):
hearing it, after overcoming that throughyears of therapy, journaling, and having
to build up that self-worth and self-lovefor myself, I realized I can now help
and inspire other people with this.
And help them learn what I hadto figure out the hard way,
but they get the easy way.
(02:00):
And that's what I've been doingfor the last four years and
it's truly been a blessing.
Well, you are very impressive, Lawrence.
After doing some research on you,being where you are at the age of
nineteen, uh, I, I gotta applaudyou and, and good job for taking the
(02:22):
right steps to get where you are.
A lot of us, I didn't getthat till I was fifty.
So you're well advanced in being goodin mindset, and that's what it's about
is overcoming those past traumas.
And my first question is, Howdid you achieve it so young?
(02:46):
Well, the way I achieved it so young wasall the stuff we're about to go into.
It began when I was twelve.
So prior to that, my childhoodwas pretty, pretty standard.
Um, wasn't in adverse poverty,but I wasn't in luxury.
I was in the middle area.
(03:08):
You know, two parent household for mostof my childhood, even though my mom and
dad would get into a lot of arguments.
Up until the age of twelve,everything seemed pretty normal.
You know, I got bullied a lot in schoolbecause I was different, but that's,
that's something that, um, definitely leftan impact too, because I didn't really
(03:31):
have friends until I was about eleven.
So most of my formative years,it was just me and my family.
Now at the age of twelve though, I'msitting on this black couch, and my
dad would usually make us leave ourphones in his car because at this time
(03:56):
him and my mom are completely separate,
he goes off lives his life with hiswife, my mom goes off and lives her life.
And they have shared custody so me and myyounger siblings are going back and forth.
But I needed to have my phonein the house to work on a school
project, and it's October 13th, 2019.
(04:17):
I can remember it that specific becauseit's my little sister's birthday.
My mom called my phone to wish my sistera happy birthday, and his wife sees that
she's calling and says to my dad, Are yougoing to let him talk to her in my house?
I guess it set something off in him, andhe just looks at me with this look of
(04:43):
rage, like a frustration, likeas if I'm doing something wrong.
And then he punched me in my left eye.
And at first I thinkthis is just a mistake.
Is this some sort of frustration?
Did he not mean to do this?
Then he does it again, and atthat moment a switch goes off.
(05:08):
And I was this twelve-year-old with allthese hopes, and ambitions, and dreams
for the future, and now I am just frozen.
And it set into me that I have toprotect my younger siblings now.
Everything related to me andmy wellbeing, out the door.
(05:30):
Now my number one priority is, keep mylittle sister and my little brother safe.
And through that, it led on to years ofme having to box away my own emotions
and my own thoughts about myself, to thepoint where I just became absolutely numb.
(05:53):
After about a year, he kicked me outof his house, but my little siblings
have to go there because custody lawsare, they're just weird like that.
Even though the court, I showed themevidence, I had photo, video, everything.
Only after a year did theyactually do something.
(06:17):
And when I was looking into my bathroommirror, I started just asking myself, Why?
Because now me and my siblings were outof his house, we're living with our mom
full time, and I'm fifteen at this point.
And I just looked in mymirror and I asked myself why?
(06:38):
Why did he do this?
Why is it that the person who'ssupposed to be there and protect you
is the same one who hurt you the most?
Why don't I have thatconnection with my dad?
Why do I feel as ifeveryone's out to get me?
Why does it feel like Iam unworthy and unlovable?
(07:02):
Just why?
And my therapist helpedme work through it.
So the person you see in front of younow, I had to build this brick by brick.
And it wasn't just me, it tooka, it took a team of people.
Because had it not been for my momgetting me into therapy, had it not
(07:24):
been for my therapist guiding me, hadit not been for me taking the actions
I needed, and had it not been forall the people involved in keeping me
on a good path, I wouldn't be here.
So it really came down to, I got intoeverything young and got sick and
(07:45):
tired of being so sick and tired.
Yeah.
Yeah, I, I know the feeling.
You know, uh, about fourteen,fifteen years old, uh, my stepfather,
we, we just always clashed andhe used to, uh, beat on me.
And I, I remember, the big one was,we were standing on the dock and
(08:12):
it was on the Clearwater River,and it's moving pretty quick.
It was Joe, myself, andour family friend, Speedy.
And Joe, my stepfather, thought that Ihad taken his wine bottle and he turned
(08:34):
and asked me, Where did you put my wine?
I want my wine.
And I told him, Joe, Idon't have your wine.
And just outta nowhere, bam, intothe rib cage, uh, cracked four of
my ribs and I landed in the riverand it started taking me away.
(08:55):
You know, you can't breathebecause your head's under water
and your ribs are caved in.
And Speedy grabbed me and yanked me outof the river and told Joe, Joe, you left
your wine in the truck, up at the truck.
(09:16):
And those are things I went through too.
So I understand that feelingand, you know, just for nothing.
And so I did not have the team ofspecialists to help me through all of
these navigable things that we have to gothrough to overcome what we went through.
(09:42):
Uh, it's, it's all about turning inwardand understanding yourself, and who
you are, and why you are lovable.
That's what you outlined so well,and you articulate it so well.
I, I could not even imagine being ableto tell people, how you do, at the age
(10:06):
I was, and it, it's just overwhelming.
It, it takes me back and I admire you.
I, I really do admire you for havingthe strength to do what it takes.
I turned to drugs and alcoholand that's where I found comfort
(10:26):
and that's where so many turn.
So that's why I really was interestedwhen you showed up on the desk.
And wow, this from God right here.
So how, how do we help people understandit's okay to reach out for help?
(10:53):
Well, a big thing for me was, even thoughwhen my mom got me into therapy, part of
me, you know, you have this I don't trustanybody mentality because the person that
you trusted the most, hurts you the most.
So you kind of become like a stray cat.
Like, have you ever noticed when there'sa stray cat, if you try to feed it,
(11:16):
it'll hiss at you and claw and run away,even though it wants you to feed it?
It's afraid to come close becausepeople have hurt it before.
And it thinks, People hurt me, you'rea person, you're going to hurt me,
or you have the capacity to hurtme and I'm going to hurt you before
(11:37):
you get the chance to hurt me.
We have to first off understand that.
If you're trying to help somebody andthey're obviously, you know, going
through something major like abuse ordrug addiction or a traumatic event in
life, you have to understand most of thetime, at first, they're going to be very
resistant to you, and it's not personal.
(12:00):
They're just afraid of what couldhappen and you can't judge them.
Because when we feel the slightest bitof judgment and we're in that state,
we say, this person is out to get me.
They don't love me, and we createall these things in our head.
So what we first of all need tounderstand when we help them is that
(12:23):
we can only give as much as they arewilling to accept on the first day.
You might only be able to tellthem, I hope things get better.
That might be all they're receptive to.
So it just come with time andeveryone moves at their own speed
and you cannot force somebody tomove at the speed you want them to.
(12:49):
Yeah, that, that's huge.
So, you know, understanding that, you,you have to take time and be willing
to be empathetic with the individual.
And understand you, you have no cluewhat this person has been through.
(13:11):
Even though you might have been throughsomething very similar to this, we all
react and respond differently based onthe surrounding that we were raised in.
And it, it's interesting, you sayyou were kind of in the middle class
range when you were raised and I,I was below poverty and it's, it's
(13:39):
interesting the directions you take.
So I'm interested in what yoursupport system was like back then
and what is it evolved to now?
Well, back then, so firstly, to chime inon the aspect of like financial class,
(14:01):
I recently read about how, depending onyour day-to-day needs, you don't have
the ability to start thinking abouthow your level, ways of getting help.
Because if your worry is food, water,shelter, if that's where, it's called,
(14:22):
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, if you'refocused on survival, your survival, you're
not thinking about psychological, up here.
You're focused on where's yournext meal gonna come from.
So the thought of therapy, the thought of,um, self care practices, all the things up
(14:46):
here, it doesn't cross your mind becauseyou're focused on the thing down here.
That's another thing that's importantto know when trying to help somebody.
They may not have the ability tothink about the higher level ways
of getting help because they'refocused on right here, right
(15:08):
now.
Now to answer your question withmy support system, back then when
I was twelve, my support systemwas just my mom, my, some of my
family members, and my therapist.
That was the main people.
Because they were the only ones Ieither talked to it about or the only
(15:30):
ones who I trusted enough to listen.
Because the trust was a really,really tough thing for me.
It's like you don't want to show peoplehow you really feel, you don't want them
to know because you put on this toughguy mask and this don't get close to me
(15:54):
persona as a way of protecting yourself.
But if you keep your hand closed andtight, you can't receive any help.
And over the years that support systemhas evolved into multiple family
members who I've opened up to, myself,friends, relationships, even people
(16:18):
who I do, um, you know, speakingevents with, or business, or people
in my close circle in that sense too.
Sometimes I'll let them knowthat, Hey, I need to reschedule
because I genuinely just don'thave the energy for it right now.
That, that particular aspect of thingsright there is very huge, Lawrence.
(16:39):
Because if you're not thinkingabout yourself first, you
can't think about others.
And, and that's veryhard for people to get.
I didn't mean to interrupt you, sorry.
Yeah.
And um, oh, no worries.
That actually just broughtup another great point.
(17:01):
In that journey, you know, throughoutwhat was actually seven years,
even though I'm nineteen, inthat process, I had to learn that
self-care and self respect, self-love.
These things, they're not selfish.
It's, if you're not full of you, ifyou're not full of love for yourself,
(17:26):
if you're not full of care, ifyou're not full of energy in here,
you can't pour from an empty cup.
And I had spent years tryingto pour from this empty cup.
In trying to be, you know, the bigbrother hero who keeps his siblings safe.
It led me to losing me.
(17:49):
It led me to this feeling that, Idescribe it to people like, imagine
if you're taking a really hot showerwith no skin, or you're running on a
treadmill and the treadmill is made ofsandpaper, but you can't get off of it.
(18:12):
Or you're stuck on, you'restuck in the desert.
And every time you get water,it feels good, but then you
immediately go back to being thirsty.
Um, and I had to essentiallylearn to love myself again.
(18:36):
But in the process of doing that, I canreflect and go, I can reflect back on
and realize that a lot of what I did inorder to learn to love myself was selfish.
I wouldn't spend time with people, Iwouldn't go hang out with anybody, I
(18:56):
wouldn't go to parties because I wastrying to figure out what do I like?
What makes me happy?
What makes Lawrence feel good?
But I learned to find more healthierways of doing that, I learned to
better integrate myself into community.
(19:20):
Because I had to take such a massivestep back in order to take a step
forward and actually appreciate who I am.
Yeah, that, that's huge.
You know, a couple thingscome to mind with that.
Have you heard of the crabin the bucket syndrome?
Yeah, where people tryto hold you back down.
(19:42):
That's right.
That, I, I encourage people to lookthat up if you don't understand
what that is, because that willhelp you understand my, my own
personal theory that I came up with.
And I call it the Muddy Shoe Life Theory.
And life is like you're a muddy shoe, andyou're being trekked down a muddy trail.
(20:11):
This muddy trail arepeople, places, and things.
That mud gets very heavy.
You've walked down a muddy trail andthat mud just cakes onto your feet.
Well, it gets heavy, so you have tofind a rock and wipe the mud off.
(20:31):
And that allows you to be lighterand that allows you to keep traveling
down this muddy road of life.
So I, I like to share that withpeople because people, places,
and things get very heavy.
And if we learn to just stop and takea moment and wipe it off, the good mud,
(20:57):
you know, the people that really wannabe there with us, it's gonna be up in
the tread and it'll keep coming withus, but all that heavy mud is gone.
And you, you control that by controllingwho you're around, what you put yourself
in, and just a little forethoughtabout planning your life to what you
(21:23):
want, not what others expect out of it.
What's your thought on that, Lawrence?
I relate to it a lot.
Because for one, with all the mud,and people, places, and things we
carry around with us, until we becomeaware and conscious of it, we are just
muddying up everything in our life.
(21:47):
Think of it like you're carryingaround dirt and you're carrying around
this baggage and luggage with you.
And everywhere you go, you'rebringing that with you.
Into your new friendships, relationships,um, family dynamics, jobs, everything.
(22:10):
You're bringing you and everythingyou're holding onto with you.
And in that process you have to be willingto let it go, easier said than done.
Because sometimes those peopleor family members, you need, you
might need to cut off Aunts, uncle,nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters,
(22:31):
that might be what you need to do.
Those places could be clubs,it could be bars, it could
be people's birthday parties,
you might need to stop goingto certain people's birthdays.
It might be a restaurant youlike going to, because the people
that you know you shouldn't bearound, they be hanging there.
You need to stop going toyour favorite restaurant.
(22:53):
The things you need to stop doing.
For me, I used to obsessively playvideo games as a way of stress relief.
Like it was just a way to distract myself.
And eventually I realized this, so what Ihad to do was take the TV out of my room.
For the last two years,I have not had a TV.
(23:14):
Because I realized that nothing'swrong with the TV, but it's like the,
it's like the, uh, trigger pointto doing a really bad habit.
And you have to be willingto leave it in the past.
Some people, they can just likedo a little bit and they're fine.
(23:38):
Some people, they can do that.
I'm not.
I'm very, like, I diveheadfirst into things.
Which is really good in terms ofbusiness if I dive head first into
outreaching to people and promotingmyself and doing what I need to do.
But it also can be really badif I get into a bad habit.
(24:00):
It's why I don't go to partiesor hang out with certain people.
Because I know if I go to this placeor I do something I know I'm not
supposed to, I'm diving head in.
So that mud analogy is really greatfor it because you have to know, what
are you about to stick onto yourself?
(24:21):
That's right.
And, and I love how you addedto that, it, it was great.
Uh, discipline, you know, self-discipline,it really is the key, moderation.
And if you have thatdiscipline value, it's easy.
But sometimes it's not easy for peopleto have that discipline and changing
(24:44):
habits can be very difficult to do.
So do you have any ideas on how we canease that burden of stepping into the
discipline to help gain trust in yourself?
Well, the first thing I would say is makethe barrier to success very, very small.
(25:11):
Because, let's say somebody wantedto quit drinking, for example.
And every single day, theydrink an entire bottle.
They should set the bar for success at,how about instead, I only drink half?
Because they know that going from zeroto a hundred percent perfect, people
(25:35):
do it, it's possible, but if you don'thit that zero to a hundred immediately,
you set the bar so high that you'regoing to fail and end up right back,
and now you're back in the cycle.
So what I did was in order to stop playingso much video games, in order to stop
(25:55):
hanging around people I know I shouldn'tbe, in order to improve the habit that
I have, I set the barrier pretty low.
And once I hit the low barrier, youextend it a little bit more and a
little bit more, and a little bit more.
And
no matter what, there's going to be timeswhen the thing that you know you shouldn't
(26:16):
do is gonna start calling your name.
It's like a little whisperin the back of your head.
It's been two years since you did thething you know you shouldn't have.
And it just whispers, you know,like, Hey, a little bit won't hurt.
Come back, you know howmuch you enjoyed it.
And you have to run from that thing.
(26:39):
You gotta run.
After a certain point, it gets easier.
After a certain point you can hearthe whisper and you're just like, I'm
not gonna do it, and you won't do it.
That comes once you'vealready built a discipline.
But starting out, you have to stop settingthe expectation all the way up here.
(27:00):
Just set it a little bit furtherthan you were yesterday, and then
a little bit further the nextday, and a little bit further.
Because if you never ran a mile a dayin your life and somebody tells you
that, okay, tomorrow you have to runa mile, you're going to fail doing it.
But instead, if they say you haveto run a hundred feet, you're like,
(27:23):
Oh, I could run a hundred feet, orI could run up the staircase, or I
could run to the end of the street.
So stop setting the bar so high.
I know that we all want to transformovernight, and we just wanna wake
up tomorrow and be David Goggins.
No, you gotta start step by step.
(27:47):
That's right.
Yeah, I, I agree a hundred percent.
I, I, I call it baby stepping, youknow, but it's that incremental growth.
And, and then you, you haveto reflect on that growth too.
When you have a win, cheer yourself.
I mean, big time.
And make sure you understand, I did that.
(28:10):
Because I think that's very importantto help productivity in our life.
What do you think?
Yeah, very.
Because, uh, our brains are, we havelike a negativity bias, it's just
born in there as a survival mechanism.
Because we still have the samebrains that we had when we
(28:35):
were running around in caves.
Back then, a bad thing was a lotmore important than a good thing.
The bad thing is don't eat thoseberries because you're going to die,
a good thing is eat these berries.
Our brains care a lot more about the badthing than it does the good thing, because
(28:55):
it's still running on the same hardware aswhen doing the bad thing led to immediate
death and the good thing led to tomorrow.
So we have to, first off, become mindfulof that and like you said, reflect on it.
Celebrate the good, find ways toremind yourself you achieved that
(29:17):
and be proud of what you've done.
I think journaling is a reallygreat way people can do that.
Yeah.
Yeah, I agree.
Learning to do that, uh, it'shard to write for some people.
And if, if you don't like towrite, get an audio, uh, dictator.
(29:38):
You know, and dictate yourthoughts to release your thoughts.
Get 'em, get 'em out soyou're not holding on to 'em.
And, uh, find a good friend to talkit out with just as long as you
can, you know, look back and getaccountability for what you've done.
(29:59):
Yes.
Um, and with that too, I would sayfor people that find it hard to write,
assuming that you are physicallyand mentally capable of writing,
set a timer for three minutes.
After that three minute timer goes off,you're going to wanna keep doing it
'cause you don't wanna stop mid-sentence.
(30:21):
You'll think, at least letme finish this sentence.
And before you know it,you'll do a bit more.
And after doing it for a long enoughtime, it becomes like a rhythm.
Like for me, I've beenjournaling since I was fifteen.
And I do miss some days here andthere, but about ninety-eight percent
(30:42):
of the time I do it because after,I believe it's ninety days of doing
something every single day, itjust becomes a part of the rhythm.
When you wake up, you tie the, yourshoes the same way every single
time without even thinking about it.
You brush your teeth with the same hand.
(31:02):
When you see a pencil, you reachwith it, with the same hand.
You drink cups with the samehand, you cook food the same way.
It's stuff you don't thinkabout because you've done it so
much that it's just the rhythm.
Wake up, brush teeth, get dressed,shower, leave, you don't think about it.
(31:23):
So making it easier to do the good thingand harder to do the bad thing, after
a long enough time, you just think awhole lot less about the bad thing and
you think more about the good thing.
And you do more what you should doand less of what you shouldn't do.
That's right.
(31:43):
Lawrence, you, you are incredible.
So tell us, what is your plans?
Are, are you attending college?
What, what is your future for you?
Well, the future is just continuingto do what I already have been.
Now far as college goes, Ithought about getting a degree.
(32:04):
Like, I thought about a psychologydegree or something that could be
beneficial in my, uh, speaking, andmy books, and things of that sort.
But after doing some deep thinking onit, I realized that it really wouldn't
be that beneficial to me specifically.
Since, if I'm in college forfour years, that's four years I
(32:27):
can't be on the road speaking.
And I like to learn best throughexperiencing things rather than
sitting there and just havingit told to me from a textbook.
Now as far as my, uh, speaking career,I've got, uh, great news on that.
Tomorrow, I'm actuallyspeaking at a conference.
It's called the NortheasternPennsylvania, yeah, Northeastern
(32:52):
Pennsylvania Youth Led Conference.
So for three days I'll be out traveling,speaking at an audience of about a hundred
people, which is the largest I've everspoken to, and that'll be fantastic.
And before you know it, you're gonnasee me on, maybe I'll do a TEDx.
(33:13):
So it's big things on the horizon.
Yeah, big things on the horizon.
But at the same time,I just enjoy each day.
That's a good way to look at it.
You know, life, life can bevery difficult or very simple.
And the simpler we keep our life, it,it's, it's just easier to live with.
(33:40):
And it's really not about impressingpeople, it's about helping yourself first.
And then hopefully along theway, you're helping millions.
So what, what you're doing is, uh, pretty,pretty big, and that's self-empowerment.
(34:03):
So we have to be able to loveourself enough to empower ourself.
And if, if we have a plan and justtick the boxes as we go, the plan might
not always go as we write it down,but that's where you learn to adjust
(34:25):
for the hiccups and revise your plan.
So revisement, again, is very,very productive in a life.
What do you think about revisingyour plans if they don't work?
Oh, that's been huge.
Because, uh, when I was younger,I wanted to be a paleontologist.
(34:47):
I wanted to go dig up dinosaur bones,I absolutely loved dinosaur terrain.
Then I wanted to be a jeweler, then,well, technically I am an author, but at
a point in my life I wanted to be, like,think of Stephen King, Robert Green, that
kind of author where you are an author.
(35:11):
Yeah, you go on stages and speak from timeto time, but your main title is author.
We don't know Stephen King as a speaker,even though he does do public speaking.
We don't know Robert Green as he'ssuch a fantastic public speaker,
no, we know him as he writes books.
That's what I would have wantedto do at a point in my life.
(35:33):
There was another point in my life whereI wanted to be like a fashion designer,
I wanted to make a clothing brand.
And throughout all of those things,every time I would sit back and
revise it and go, What did thishave in common with everything else?
The underlying theme was Iwanted to create something
(35:53):
that people will benefit from.
And the one thing I've always loveddoing throughout my entire life, from
even being a baby, I started speakingfull sentences at eighteen months.
Not like goo-goo, ga-ga, feedme, I'm hungry, mom sentences,
(36:14):
no fully articulate sentences,
um, since I was eighteen months.
And as I got older, I just fell inlove with the idea of putting myself
out there, making YouTube videos,and TikTok clips, and all of that.
(36:35):
And that's where after revising,and revising, and revising,
I found what I truly love.
I love talking, I love helping people.
And as an empowermentspeaker, I get to do both.
Because people often ask me aboutthe difference between empowerment
(36:57):
speaker and motivational speaker.
They're similar, but motivation is focusedon how I make you feel and how you get up.
You lead the event and you're hyped up.
You're like, Yeah, I'm gonnago work out for five hours.
I'm gonna go climb Mount Everest.
That's motivation.
Empowerment is you still getmotivated, but the key point
(37:19):
isn't how you feel right now.
It's giving you the mental toolkitfor, okay, here's how to feel
better over a long span of time.
And if you follow the recipe,you will bake the cake.
That is your goal.
It might not feel good, but you willlove it a lot more than the motivation.
(37:45):
So putting all that together,my life's just helped me to
find a passion that lights meon fire and helps them to grow.
And it is beautiful.
Yeah.
And, and passion is a big part of it.
(38:07):
If, if you have a passion, you'regonna make things happen in your life.
So follow that passion, that,that's good advice for me.
Uh, is there anything else you wouldlike to share with our listeners
before we get finished up here?
I would say one of the best pieceof advice I've learned through
(38:29):
my life is, it doesn't have tomake sense to everyone else.
We often think of our goals as needingit to make sense to other people.
And here's what I mean.
When I started speaking, I justhad a smartphone, no microphone,
(38:52):
no camera, no lighting, I justhad my iPhone and I had YouTube.
And I would just put my phonedown up against the wall 'cause
I didn't even have a tripod.
I would just set it up against a wall,or a rock, or a water bottle, and
I would record myself talking aboutwhat I'm going through in my life.
Giving motivational messages, givingstep by step understanding of how
(39:17):
to build self love and confidence.
And if you go back, there's a lotof ah, um, like, yeah, there's
a lot of filler words in there.
But the underlying message is really good.
But it didn't make sense toeverybody else because they're like,
Why should I listen to this kid?
What, what does he have to tell me?
(39:40):
But over time, people who understandwhat I do and the message I'm
trying to give and the missionI'm on, they resonated with it.
So if you're somebody who you wannastart your own business, or you wanna
get into the gym, or even as simpleas you wanna quit a bad habit, there's
going to be people who are going tojudge and say, why are you doing that?
(40:03):
Why are you changing up?
Why are you not going out with us anymore?
Why are you always making those videos?
Why are you always sending emails?
Why are you doing that?
You have to learn to not listento the doubt and the naysayers,
but also understand that sometimesthey could be giving useful advice.
(40:26):
It's very, it's very case by case there.
But inevitably there are goingto be people who understand you
and what you're trying to do.
Not everybody speaks like TonyRobbins, not everybody is Les Brown.
I'm Lars, Lars has his way of doing it.
There are chefs out there who, some peoplelove Jamaican food, other people hate it.
(40:50):
The people who like what you do are goingto find you and those are your customers.
The people who don't like you, youdon't have to make them like you.
And that applies to friendships,relationships, business
opportunities, jobs, everything.
The people who like you, likeyou, the ones who don't, don't.
(41:11):
And it, you don't have tomake sense to everybody else.
The last thing too is, justremember, always love yourself.
Because it's very easy to loseyourself in comparison on social media.
And this person's car is faster thanmine, and this person has more money
than me, and they're taller than me, andtheir life look so fantastic and amazing.
(41:33):
Nobody shows you the bad parts,nobody showed the bad parts.
So just love yourselfand remember you matter.
Even if you don't have the car, orthe money, or the height, or the
status, or whatever, you matter becauseyou're human and whatever, you're a
child of whatever God you believe in.
(41:53):
That's right.
And, and you do have something tooffer other people, you just have to
be willing to step into that position.
And, and take the babysteps and build it up.
Lawrence, you've been afantastic guest today.
How can people reach outand get involved with you?
(42:15):
You can get in contact withme through my social media.
All of them are Lawrence C Empowers,L-A-W-R-E-N-C-E, letter C dot
Empowers, E-M-P-W-O, E-M-P-O-W-E-R-S.
Yeah, Empowers.
Okay,
(42:37):
make sure I spelled that right.
You could also find me on mywebsite, lawrencecharris.com,
and my books are available onAmazon under lawrencecharris.com.
You could just Google my name,everything that I have out, Lawrence
C. Harris, or Lawrence C Empowers.
(42:59):
Very easy to find me.
We will collect it all andput it in the show notes.
And I wanna say thank you,Lawrence for a fantastic voyage
in a great conversation today.
Thank you, I appreciate being here.
Thank you for joining us today.
(43:21):
If you found this podcast enlightening,entertaining, educational in any way,
please share, like, subscribe, and joinus right back here next week for another
great episode of the Dead America Podcast.
I'm Ed Watters, your host, enjoyyour afternoon wherever you might be.
I relate to it a lot because, for one,with all the mud, and people, places,
and things we carry around with us.
Until we become aware and consciousof it, we are just muddying
up everything in our life.
Think of it like.
(00:54):
Today, we're speakingwith Lawrence Harris.
He is a youth empowermentspeaker and an author.
Lawrence, could you please introduceyourself and let people know just
a little more about you, please?
Well, firstly, it's fantastic to be here.
And a little bit about me is, firstof all, I got into speaking when I was
(01:17):
fifteen years old, and now I'm nineteen.
So got into it very young simply becauseI realized that after overcoming my
struggles with things like childhoodabuse and complex post-traumatic stress
disorder, which it's a bit more nuancedthan typical PTSD as people are used to
(01:38):
hearing it, after overcoming that throughyears of therapy, journaling, and having
to build up that self-worth and self-lovefor myself, I realized I can now help
and inspire other people with this.
And help them learn what I hadto figure out the hard way,
but they get the easy way.
(02:00):
And that's what I've been doingfor the last four years and
it's truly been a blessing.
Well, you are very impressive, Lawrence.
After doing some research on you,being where you are at the age of
nineteen, uh, I, I gotta applaudyou and, and good job for taking the
(02:22):
right steps to get where you are.
A lot of us, I didn't getthat till I was fifty.
So you're well advanced in being goodin mindset, and that's what it's about
is overcoming those past traumas.
And my first question is, Howdid you achieve it so young?
(02:46):
Well, the way I achieved it so young wasall the stuff we're about to go into.
It began when I was twelve.
So prior to that, my childhoodwas pretty, pretty standard.
Um, wasn't in adverse poverty,but I wasn't in luxury.
I was in the middle area.
(03:08):
You know, two parent household for mostof my childhood, even though my mom and
dad would get into a lot of arguments.
Up until the age of twelve,everything seemed pretty normal.
You know, I got bullied a lot in schoolbecause I was different, but that's,
that's something that, um, definitely leftan impact too, because I didn't really
(03:31):
have friends until I was about eleven.
So most of my formative years,it was just me and my family.
Now at the age of twelve though, I'msitting on this black couch, and my
dad would usually make us leave ourphones in his car because at this time
(03:56):
him and my mom are completely separate,
he goes off lives his life with hiswife, my mom goes off and lives her life.
And they have shared custody so me and myyounger siblings are going back and forth.
But I needed to have my phonein the house to work on a school
project, and it's October 13th, 2019.
(04:17):
I can remember it that specific becauseit's my little sister's birthday.
My mom called my phone to wish my sistera happy birthday, and his wife sees that
she's calling and says to my dad, Are yougoing to let him talk to her in my house?
I guess it set something off in him, andhe just looks at me with this look of
(04:43):
rage, like a frustration, likeas if I'm doing something wrong.
And then he punched me in my left eye.
And at first I thinkthis is just a mistake.
Is this some sort of frustration?
Did he not mean to do this?
Then he does it again, and atthat moment a switch goes off.
(05:08):
And I was this twelve-year-old with allthese hopes, and ambitions, and dreams
for the future, and now I am just frozen.
And it set into me that I have toprotect my younger siblings now.
Everything related to me andmy wellbeing, out the door.
(05:30):
Now my number one priority is, keep mylittle sister and my little brother safe.
And through that, it led on to years ofme having to box away my own emotions
and my own thoughts about myself, to thepoint where I just became absolutely numb.
(05:53):
After about a year, he kicked me outof his house, but my little siblings
have to go there because custody lawsare, they're just weird like that.
Even though the court, I showed themevidence, I had photo, video, everything.
Only after a year did theyactually do something.
(06:17):
And when I was looking into my bathroommirror, I started just asking myself, Why?
Because now me and my siblings were outof his house, we're living with our mom
full time, and I'm fifteen at this point.
And I just looked in mymirror and I asked myself why?
(06:38):
Why did he do this?
Why is it that the person who'ssupposed to be there and protect you
is the same one who hurt you the most?
Why don't I have thatconnection with my dad?
Why do I feel as ifeveryone's out to get me?
Why does it feel like Iam unworthy and unlovable?
(07:02):
Just why?
And my therapist helpedme work through it.
So the person you see in front of younow, I had to build this brick by brick.
And it wasn't just me, it tooka, it took a team of people.
Because had it not been for my momgetting me into therapy, had it not
(07:24):
been for my therapist guiding me, hadit not been for me taking the actions
I needed, and had it not been forall the people involved in keeping me
on a good path, I wouldn't be here.
So it really came down to, I got intoeverything young and got sick and
(07:45):
tired of being so sick and tired.
Yeah.
Yeah, I, I know the feeling.
You know, uh, about fourteen,fifteen years old, uh, my stepfather,
we, we just always clashed andhe used to, uh, beat on me.
And I, I remember, the big one was,we were standing on the dock and
(08:12):
it was on the Clearwater River,and it's moving pretty quick.
It was Joe, myself, andour family friend, Speedy.
And Joe, my stepfather, thought that Ihad taken his wine bottle and he turned
(08:34):
and asked me, Where did you put my wine?
I want my wine.
And I told him, Joe, Idon't have your wine.
And just outta nowhere, bam, intothe rib cage, uh, cracked four of
my ribs and I landed in the riverand it started taking me away.
(08:55):
You know, you can't breathebecause your head's under water
and your ribs are caved in.
And Speedy grabbed me and yanked me outof the river and told Joe, Joe, you left
your wine in the truck, up at the truck.
(09:16):
And those are things I went through too.
So I understand that feelingand, you know, just for nothing.
And so I did not have the team ofspecialists to help me through all of
these navigable things that we have to gothrough to overcome what we went through.
(09:42):
Uh, it's, it's all about turning inwardand understanding yourself, and who
you are, and why you are lovable.
That's what you outlined so well,and you articulate it so well.
I, I could not even imagine being ableto tell people, how you do, at the age
(10:06):
I was, and it, it's just overwhelming.
It, it takes me back and I admire you.
I, I really do admire you for havingthe strength to do what it takes.
I turned to drugs and alcoholand that's where I found comfort
(10:26):
and that's where so many turn.
So that's why I really was interestedwhen you showed up on the desk.
And wow, this from God right here.
So how, how do we help people understandit's okay to reach out for help?
(10:53):
Well, a big thing for me was, even thoughwhen my mom got me into therapy, part of
me, you know, you have this I don't trustanybody mentality because the person that
you trusted the most, hurts you the most.
So you kind of become like a stray cat.
Like, have you ever noticed when there'sa stray cat, if you try to feed it,
(11:16):
it'll hiss at you and claw and run away,even though it wants you to feed it?
It's afraid to come close becausepeople have hurt it before.
And it thinks, People hurt me, you'rea person, you're going to hurt me,
or you have the capacity to hurtme and I'm going to hurt you before
(11:37):
you get the chance to hurt me.
We have to first off understand that.
If you're trying to help somebody andthey're obviously, you know, going
through something major like abuse ordrug addiction or a traumatic event in
life, you have to understand most of thetime, at first, they're going to be very
resistant to you, and it's not personal.
(12:00):
They're just afraid of what couldhappen and you can't judge them.
Because when we feel the slightest bitof judgment and we're in that state,
we say, this person is out to get me.
They don't love me, and we createall these things in our head.
So what we first of all need tounderstand when we help them is that
(12:23):
we can only give as much as they arewilling to accept on the first day.
You might only be able to tellthem, I hope things get better.
That might be all they're receptive to.
So it just come with time andeveryone moves at their own speed
and you cannot force somebody tomove at the speed you want them to.
(12:49):
Yeah, that, that's huge.
So, you know, understanding that, you,you have to take time and be willing
to be empathetic with the individual.
And understand you, you have no cluewhat this person has been through.
(13:11):
Even though you might have been throughsomething very similar to this, we all
react and respond differently based onthe surrounding that we were raised in.
And it, it's interesting, you sayyou were kind of in the middle class
range when you were raised and I,I was below poverty and it's, it's
(13:39):
interesting the directions you take.
So I'm interested in what yoursupport system was like back then
and what is it evolved to now?
Well, back then, so firstly, to chime inon the aspect of like financial class,
(14:01):
I recently read about how, depending onyour day-to-day needs, you don't have
the ability to start thinking abouthow your level, ways of getting help.
Because if your worry is food, water,shelter, if that's where, it's called,
(14:22):
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, if you'refocused on survival, your survival, you're
not thinking about psychological, up here.
You're focused on where's yournext meal gonna come from.
So the thought of therapy, the thought of,um, self care practices, all the things up
(14:46):
here, it doesn't cross your mind becauseyou're focused on the thing down here.
That's another thing that's importantto know when trying to help somebody.
They may not have the ability tothink about the higher level ways
of getting help because they'refocused on right here, right
(15:08):
now.
Now to answer your question withmy support system, back then when
I was twelve, my support systemwas just my mom, my, some of my
family members, and my therapist.
That was the main people.
Because they were the only ones Ieither talked to it about or the only
(15:30):
ones who I trusted enough to listen.
Because the trust was a really,really tough thing for me.
It's like you don't want to show peoplehow you really feel, you don't want them
to know because you put on this toughguy mask and this don't get close to me
(15:54):
persona as a way of protecting yourself.
But if you keep your hand closed andtight, you can't receive any help.
And over the years that support systemhas evolved into multiple family
members who I've opened up to, myself,friends, relationships, even people
(16:18):
who I do, um, you know, speakingevents with, or business, or people
in my close circle in that sense too.
Sometimes I'll let them knowthat, Hey, I need to reschedule
because I genuinely just don'thave the energy for it right now.
That, that particular aspect of thingsright there is very huge, Lawrence.
(16:39):
Because if you're not thinkingabout yourself first, you
can't think about others.
And, and that's veryhard for people to get.
I didn't mean to interrupt you, sorry.
Yeah.
And um, oh, no worries.
That actually just broughtup another great point.
(17:01):
In that journey, you know, throughoutwhat was actually seven years,
even though I'm nineteen, inthat process, I had to learn that
self-care and self respect, self-love.
These things, they're not selfish.
It's, if you're not full of you, ifyou're not full of love for yourself,
(17:26):
if you're not full of care, ifyou're not full of energy in here,
you can't pour from an empty cup.
And I had spent years tryingto pour from this empty cup.
In trying to be, you know, the bigbrother hero who keeps his siblings safe.
It led me to losing me.
(17:49):
It led me to this feeling that, Idescribe it to people like, imagine
if you're taking a really hot showerwith no skin, or you're running on a
treadmill and the treadmill is made ofsandpaper, but you can't get off of it.
(18:12):
Or you're stuck on, you'restuck in the desert.
And every time you get water,it feels good, but then you
immediately go back to being thirsty.
Um, and I had to essentiallylearn to love myself again.
(18:36):
But in the process of doing that, I canreflect and go, I can reflect back on
and realize that a lot of what I did inorder to learn to love myself was selfish.
I wouldn't spend time with people, Iwouldn't go hang out with anybody, I
(18:56):
wouldn't go to parties because I wastrying to figure out what do I like?
What makes me happy?
What makes Lawrence feel good?
But I learned to find more healthierways of doing that, I learned to
better integrate myself into community.
(19:20):
Because I had to take such a massivestep back in order to take a step
forward and actually appreciate who I am.
Yeah, that, that's huge.
You know, a couple thingscome to mind with that.
Have you heard of the crabin the bucket syndrome?
Yeah, where people tryto hold you back down.
(19:42):
That's right.
That, I, I encourage people to lookthat up if you don't understand
what that is, because that willhelp you understand my, my own
personal theory that I came up with.
And I call it the Muddy Shoe Life Theory.
And life is like you're a muddy shoe, andyou're being trekked down a muddy trail.
(20:11):
This muddy trail arepeople, places, and things.
That mud gets very heavy.
You've walked down a muddy trail andthat mud just cakes onto your feet.
Well, it gets heavy, so you have tofind a rock and wipe the mud off.
(20:31):
And that allows you to be lighterand that allows you to keep traveling
down this muddy road of life.
So I, I like to share that withpeople because people, places,
and things get very heavy.
And if we learn to just stop and takea moment and wipe it off, the good mud,
(20:57):
you know, the people that really wannabe there with us, it's gonna be up in
the tread and it'll keep coming withus, but all that heavy mud is gone.
And you, you control that by controllingwho you're around, what you put yourself
in, and just a little forethoughtabout planning your life to what you
(21:23):
want, not what others expect out of it.
What's your thought on that, Lawrence?
I relate to it a lot.
Because for one, with all the mud,and people, places, and things we
carry around with us, until we becomeaware and conscious of it, we are just
muddying up everything in our life.
(21:47):
Think of it like you're carryingaround dirt and you're carrying around
this baggage and luggage with you.
And everywhere you go, you'rebringing that with you.
Into your new friendships, relationships,um, family dynamics, jobs, everything.
(22:10):
You're bringing you and everythingyou're holding onto with you.
And in that process you have to be willingto let it go, easier said than done.
Because sometimes those peopleor family members, you need, you
might need to cut off Aunts, uncle,nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters,
(22:31):
that might be what you need to do.
Those places could be clubs,it could be bars, it could
be people's birthday parties,
you might need to stop goingto certain people's birthdays.
It might be a restaurant youlike going to, because the people
that you know you shouldn't bearound, they be hanging there.
You need to stop going toyour favorite restaurant.
(22:53):
The things you need to stop doing.
For me, I used to obsessively playvideo games as a way of stress relief.
Like it was just a way to distract myself.
And eventually I realized this, so what Ihad to do was take the TV out of my room.
For the last two years,I have not had a TV.
(23:14):
Because I realized that nothing'swrong with the TV, but it's like the,
it's like the, uh, trigger pointto doing a really bad habit.
And you have to be willingto leave it in the past.
Some people, they can just likedo a little bit and they're fine.
(23:38):
Some people, they can do that.
I'm not.
I'm very, like, I diveheadfirst into things.
Which is really good in terms ofbusiness if I dive head first into
outreaching to people and promotingmyself and doing what I need to do.
But it also can be really badif I get into a bad habit.
(24:00):
It's why I don't go to partiesor hang out with certain people.
Because I know if I go to this placeor I do something I know I'm not
supposed to, I'm diving head in.
So that mud analogy is really greatfor it because you have to know, what
are you about to stick onto yourself?
(24:21):
That's right.
And, and I love how you addedto that, it, it was great.
Uh, discipline, you know, self-discipline,it really is the key, moderation.
And if you have thatdiscipline value, it's easy.
But sometimes it's not easy for peopleto have that discipline and changing
(24:44):
habits can be very difficult to do.
So do you have any ideas on how we canease that burden of stepping into the
discipline to help gain trust in yourself?
Well, the first thing I would say is makethe barrier to success very, very small.
(25:11):
Because, let's say somebody wantedto quit drinking, for example.
And every single day, theydrink an entire bottle.
They should set the bar for success at,how about instead, I only drink half?
Because they know that going from zeroto a hundred percent perfect, people
(25:35):
do it, it's possible, but if you don'thit that zero to a hundred immediately,
you set the bar so high that you'regoing to fail and end up right back,
and now you're back in the cycle.
So what I did was in order to stop playingso much video games, in order to stop
(25:55):
hanging around people I know I shouldn'tbe, in order to improve the habit that
I have, I set the barrier pretty low.
And once I hit the low barrier, youextend it a little bit more and a
little bit more, and a little bit more.
And
no matter what, there's going to be timeswhen the thing that you know you shouldn't
(26:16):
do is gonna start calling your name.
It's like a little whisperin the back of your head.
It's been two years since you did thething you know you shouldn't have.
And it just whispers, you know,like, Hey, a little bit won't hurt.
Come back, you know howmuch you enjoyed it.
And you have to run from that thing.
(26:39):
You gotta run.
After a certain point, it gets easier.
After a certain point you can hearthe whisper and you're just like, I'm
not gonna do it, and you won't do it.
That comes once you'vealready built a discipline.
But starting out, you have to stop settingthe expectation all the way up here.
(27:00):
Just set it a little bit furtherthan you were yesterday, and then
a little bit further the nextday, and a little bit further.
Because if you never ran a mile a dayin your life and somebody tells you
that, okay, tomorrow you have to runa mile, you're going to fail doing it.
But instead, if they say you haveto run a hundred feet, you're like,
(27:23):
Oh, I could run a hundred feet, orI could run up the staircase, or I
could run to the end of the street.
So stop setting the bar so high.
I know that we all want to transformovernight, and we just wanna wake
up tomorrow and be David Goggins.
No, you gotta start step by step.
(27:47):
That's right.
Yeah, I, I agree a hundred percent.
I, I, I call it baby stepping, youknow, but it's that incremental growth.
And, and then you, you haveto reflect on that growth too.
When you have a win, cheer yourself.
I mean, big time.
And make sure you understand, I did that.
(28:10):
Because I think that's very importantto help productivity in our life.
What do you think?
Yeah, very.
Because, uh, our brains are, we havelike a negativity bias, it's just
born in there as a survival mechanism.
Because we still have the samebrains that we had when we
(28:35):
were running around in caves.
Back then, a bad thing was a lotmore important than a good thing.
The bad thing is don't eat thoseberries because you're going to die,
a good thing is eat these berries.
Our brains care a lot more about the badthing than it does the good thing, because
(28:55):
it's still running on the same hardware aswhen doing the bad thing led to immediate
death and the good thing led to tomorrow.
So we have to, first off, become mindfulof that and like you said, reflect on it.
Celebrate the good, find ways toremind yourself you achieved that
(29:17):
and be proud of what you've done.
I think journaling is a reallygreat way people can do that.
Yeah.
Yeah, I agree.
Learning to do that, uh, it'shard to write for some people.
And if, if you don't like towrite, get an audio, uh, dictator.
(29:38):
You know, and dictate yourthoughts to release your thoughts.
Get 'em, get 'em out soyou're not holding on to 'em.
And, uh, find a good friend to talkit out with just as long as you
can, you know, look back and getaccountability for what you've done.
(29:59):
Yes.
Um, and with that too, I would sayfor people that find it hard to write,
assuming that you are physicallyand mentally capable of writing,
set a timer for three minutes.
After that three minute timer goes off,you're going to wanna keep doing it
'cause you don't wanna stop mid-sentence.
(30:21):
You'll think, at least letme finish this sentence.
And before you know it,you'll do a bit more.
And after doing it for a long enoughtime, it becomes like a rhythm.
Like for me, I've beenjournaling since I was fifteen.
And I do miss some days here andthere, but about ninety-eight percent
(30:42):
of the time I do it because after,I believe it's ninety days of doing
something every single day, itjust becomes a part of the rhythm.
When you wake up, you tie the, yourshoes the same way every single
time without even thinking about it.
You brush your teeth with the same hand.
(31:02):
When you see a pencil, you reachwith it, with the same hand.
You drink cups with the samehand, you cook food the same way.
It's stuff you don't thinkabout because you've done it so
much that it's just the rhythm.
Wake up, brush teeth, get dressed,shower, leave, you don't think about it.
(31:23):
So making it easier to do the good thingand harder to do the bad thing, after
a long enough time, you just think awhole lot less about the bad thing and
you think more about the good thing.
And you do more what you should doand less of what you shouldn't do.
That's right.
(31:43):
Lawrence, you, you are incredible.
So tell us, what is your plans?
Are, are you attending college?
What, what is your future for you?
Well, the future is just continuingto do what I already have been.
Now far as college goes, Ithought about getting a degree.
(32:04):
Like, I thought about a psychologydegree or something that could be
beneficial in my, uh, speaking, andmy books, and things of that sort.
But after doing some deep thinking onit, I realized that it really wouldn't
be that beneficial to me specifically.
Since, if I'm in college forfour years, that's four years I
(32:27):
can't be on the road speaking.
And I like to learn best throughexperiencing things rather than
sitting there and just havingit told to me from a textbook.
Now as far as my, uh, speaking career,I've got, uh, great news on that.
Tomorrow, I'm actuallyspeaking at a conference.
It's called the NortheasternPennsylvania, yeah, Northeastern
(32:52):
Pennsylvania Youth Led Conference.
So for three days I'll be out traveling,speaking at an audience of about a hundred
people, which is the largest I've everspoken to, and that'll be fantastic.
And before you know it, you're gonnasee me on, maybe I'll do a TEDx.
(33:13):
So it's big things on the horizon.
Yeah, big things on the horizon.
But at the same time,I just enjoy each day.
That's a good way to look at it.
You know, life, life can bevery difficult or very simple.
And the simpler we keep our life, it,it's, it's just easier to live with.
(33:40):
And it's really not about impressingpeople, it's about helping yourself first.
And then hopefully along theway, you're helping millions.
So what, what you're doing is, uh, pretty,pretty big, and that's self-empowerment.
(34:03):
So we have to be able to loveourself enough to empower ourself.
And if, if we have a plan and justtick the boxes as we go, the plan might
not always go as we write it down,but that's where you learn to adjust
(34:25):
for the hiccups and revise your plan.
So revisement, again, is very,very productive in a life.
What do you think about revisingyour plans if they don't work?
Oh, that's been huge.
Because, uh, when I was younger,I wanted to be a paleontologist.
(34:47):
I wanted to go dig up dinosaur bones,I absolutely loved dinosaur terrain.
Then I wanted to be a jeweler, then,well, technically I am an author, but at
a point in my life I wanted to be, like,think of Stephen King, Robert Green, that
kind of author where you are an author.
(35:11):
Yeah, you go on stages and speak from timeto time, but your main title is author.
We don't know Stephen King as a speaker,even though he does do public speaking.
We don't know Robert Green as he'ssuch a fantastic public speaker,
no, we know him as he writes books.
That's what I would have wantedto do at a point in my life.
(35:33):
There was another point in my life whereI wanted to be like a fashion designer,
I wanted to make a clothing brand.
And throughout all of those things,every time I would sit back and
revise it and go, What did thishave in common with everything else?
The underlying theme was Iwanted to create something
(35:53):
that people will benefit from.
And the one thing I've always loveddoing throughout my entire life, from
even being a baby, I started speakingfull sentences at eighteen months.
Not like goo-goo, ga-ga, feedme, I'm hungry, mom sentences,
(36:14):
no fully articulate sentences,
um, since I was eighteen months.
And as I got older, I just fell inlove with the idea of putting myself
out there, making YouTube videos,and TikTok clips, and all of that.
(36:35):
And that's where after revising,and revising, and revising,
I found what I truly love.
I love talking, I love helping people.
And as an empowermentspeaker, I get to do both.
Because people often ask me aboutthe difference between empowerment
(36:57):
speaker and motivational speaker.
They're similar, but motivation is focusedon how I make you feel and how you get up.
You lead the event and you're hyped up.
You're like, Yeah, I'm gonnago work out for five hours.
I'm gonna go climb Mount Everest.
That's motivation.
Empowerment is you still getmotivated, but the key point
(37:19):
isn't how you feel right now.
It's giving you the mental toolkitfor, okay, here's how to feel
better over a long span of time.
And if you follow the recipe,you will bake the cake.
That is your goal.
It might not feel good, but you willlove it a lot more than the motivation.
(37:45):
So putting all that together,my life's just helped me to
find a passion that lights meon fire and helps them to grow.
And it is beautiful.
Yeah.
And, and passion is a big part of it.
(38:07):
If, if you have a passion, you'regonna make things happen in your life.
So follow that passion, that,that's good advice for me.
Uh, is there anything else you wouldlike to share with our listeners
before we get finished up here?
I would say one of the best pieceof advice I've learned through
(38:29):
my life is, it doesn't have tomake sense to everyone else.
We often think of our goals as needingit to make sense to other people.
And here's what I mean.
When I started speaking, I justhad a smartphone, no microphone,
(38:52):
no camera, no lighting, I justhad my iPhone and I had YouTube.
And I would just put my phonedown up against the wall 'cause
I didn't even have a tripod.
I would just set it up against a wall,or a rock, or a water bottle, and
I would record myself talking aboutwhat I'm going through in my life.
Giving motivational messages, givingstep by step understanding of how
(39:17):
to build self love and confidence.
And if you go back, there's a lotof ah, um, like, yeah, there's
a lot of filler words in there.
But the underlying message is really good.
But it didn't make sense toeverybody else because they're like,
Why should I listen to this kid?
What, what does he have to tell me?
(39:40):
But over time, people who understandwhat I do and the message I'm
trying to give and the missionI'm on, they resonated with it.
So if you're somebody who you wannastart your own business, or you wanna
get into the gym, or even as simpleas you wanna quit a bad habit, there's
going to be people who are going tojudge and say, why are you doing that?
(40:03):
Why are you changing up?
Why are you not going out with us anymore?
Why are you always making those videos?
Why are you always sending emails?
Why are you doing that?
You have to learn to not listento the doubt and the naysayers,
but also understand that sometimesthey could be giving useful advice.
(40:26):
It's very, it's very case by case there.
But inevitably there are goingto be people who understand you
and what you're trying to do.
Not everybody speaks like TonyRobbins, not everybody is Les Brown.
I'm Lars, Lars has his way of doing it.
There are chefs out there who, some peoplelove Jamaican food, other people hate it.
(40:50):
The people who like what you do are goingto find you and those are your customers.
The people who don't like you, youdon't have to make them like you.
And that applies to friendships,relationships, business
opportunities, jobs, everything.
The people who like you, likeyou, the ones who don't, don't.
(41:11):
And it, you don't have tomake sense to everybody else.
The last thing too is, justremember, always love yourself.
Because it's very easy to loseyourself in comparison on social media.
And this person's car is faster thanmine, and this person has more money
than me, and they're taller than me, andtheir life look so fantastic and amazing.
(41:33):
Nobody shows you the bad parts,nobody showed the bad parts.
So just love yourselfand remember you matter.
Even if you don't have the car, orthe money, or the height, or the
status, or whatever, you matter becauseyou're human and whatever, you're a
child of whatever God you believe in.
(41:53):
That's right.
And, and you do have something tooffer other people, you just have to
be willing to step into that position.
And, and take the babysteps and build it up.
Lawrence, you've been afantastic guest today.
How can people reach outand get involved with you?
(42:15):
You can get in contact withme through my social media.
All of them are Lawrence C Empowers,L-A-W-R-E-N-C-E, letter C dot
Empowers, E-M-P-W-O, E-M-P-O-W-E-R-S.
Yeah, Empowers.
Okay,
(42:37):
make sure I spelled that right.
You could also find me on mywebsite, lawrencecharris.com,
and my books are available onAmazon under lawrencecharris.com.
You could just Google my name,everything that I have out, Lawrence
C. Harris, or Lawrence C Empowers.
(42:59):
Very easy to find me.
We will collect it all andput it in the show notes.
And I wanna say thank you,Lawrence for a fantastic voyage
in a great conversation today.
Thank you, I appreciate being here.
Thank you for joining us today.
(43:21):
If you found this podcast enlightening,entertaining, educational in any way,
please share, like, subscribe, and joinus right back here next week for another
great episode of the Dead America Podcast.
I'm Ed Watters, your host, enjoyyour afternoon wherever you might be.
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