August 9, 2024 • 43 mins
Join host Stephanie Eccles on 'Dear Daughters of God' as she welcomes Melissa Withy, senior vice president and general counsel for Big D Construction, who shares her remarkable transition from construction law to becoming a community hero. Living in Virginia, Melissa’s strong expertise in construction law proved to be a divine answer to Stephanie's prayers when facing a $565,000 budget overage in a school construction project. Witness how Melissa's volunteer work and their budding friendship resolved a critical construction crisis, ensuring Excelsior Academy's middle school was completed on time and on budget. Explore themes of faith, divine intervention, and the power of ministering to others through this heartfelt narrative. Don’t miss the inspiring conclusion where the Lord’s hand is revealed in the details of our lives and the enduring bond formed between these remarkable women.
Thanks for listening! I'm on Instagram as deardaughtersofgod. Follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/invites/contact/?i=1iyjqx0cq4kbk&utm_content=qr66nqv
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Stephanie test (00:00):
Welcome to Dear Daughters of God.
My name is Stephanie Eccles,your host I'm a school
administrator, naturalstoryteller, and I am a daughter
of God.
I tell the stories of our livesfrom the perspective of the
gospel of Jesus Christ.
This is Episode 15, MinisteringMiracles Save the School,
(00:20):
Melissa Withy's journey fromconstruction law to community
hero.
Microphone (Samson Q2U (00:26):
Welcome, dear daughters of God.
I address you that way becausethat's what you are to Him.
To our Heavenly Father, you aredear.
Stephanie test (00:35):
We have a guest today.
Her name is Melissa Withy andI'm so thrilled she's here.
She's an outstanding woman.
Melissa, welcome.
Thank you.
Melissa is coming to us fromVirginia.
We met in Utah a few years ago,but she's been living in
Virginia for the last few years.
Let me introduce Melissa to youfirst, and then we'll talk a
(00:58):
little bit more about ourrelationship.
Melissa is the senior vicepresident and general counsel
for big deconstruction companiesand sits on the board of
directors prior to joining In2014, she was a partner at a
large law firm practicingconstruction law.
After our original recording,Melissa received a new position
(01:20):
within big D construction.
There was an article writtenabout it.
Construction dive writes
in their article header Quote, big D taps
construction law vet for chieflegal officer.
Melissa Bueller Withy who haswritten and edited two books on
construction law.
First represented the company asa partner at a private law firm.
(01:44):
Unquote.
Where did her expertise begin?
It was as a graduate of the J.
Reuben Clark School of Law.
Now her family has blossomed.
She is married to James.
They have a daughter that's fourand a half years old and
identical twin boys.
That are 18 months old.
Can you imagine?
She enjoys Ironman triathlons,yoga, cooking, and gardening.
(02:09):
Melissa, I'm wondering if youhave any time for those hobbies
at this time of your life.
Much less than I used to, forsure, although little kids do
like playing in the dirt, so Ido get to do a lot of yard work
and gardening with them, butsome of the others have had to
take a little bit more of abackseat to tending my little
circus.
Yes.
So tell me some of the joys thatyou've experienced in living in
(02:32):
Virginia.
we're just right outside theDistrict of Columbia.
We live in Northern Virginia.
We've really enjoyed it.
My husband's a defensecontractor, so it's a great
place for him, but it's been funto be in a place that's very
vibrant.
Lots of different culturalexperiences, a great mix of
people.
There's incredible museums andalways interesting things to do.
(02:52):
So other than July, when Ireally hate the humidity and the
bugs we've really enjoyed livingin Virginia.
I've enjoyed visiting you inVirginia.
That's for sure.
That's right.
Tell us what you find fulfillingin your career in Construction
law.
when I went to law school, Ididn't even know that
(03:14):
construction law was aspecialty.
And then, I started working witha partner that did construction
law because our personalitiesfit well together.
But now I'm 20 years into beinga construction lawyer.
And what I love about what I dois you're solving different
problems every time.
a good portion of what I do iswhat I call the project workout
(03:34):
where you have a contract andsigned and you've encountered
some type of problem thatimpacts the ability to perform
the work or the schedule or theprice, and you're trying to
solve it within the terms of thecontract, but also within a way
that works for both parties.
And so I enjoy that challenge oftrying to work towards positive
solutions.
And then it's fun to see yourprojects be built at the end of
(03:57):
the day as well.
Yes.
I would enjoy that part, thefinished building.
walking through it and knowingthat you were a part of making
it all succeed.
But you know, having said thatwhen I first met you, it was
hard for me to connect you withconstruction law, because I hear
(04:19):
about this new neighbor.
I go to meet Melissa and hereshe is a classic beauty.
And right away I can tell she'sincredibly intelligent, put
together woman.
And in my mind, And I wasthinking, how do the two mix
this classic intelligent womanwith construction.
now having become Melissa'sfriend and having experienced
(04:42):
this story that we're about toshare, I understand how the two
go together.
But that was my beginningimpression with Melissa's.
How do the two mix?
That's funny.
I've heard that from a coupleother people.
They're like, I don'tunderstand.
And no, I don't drive aforklift, but I do work in
construction.
There's a very different side ofconstruction, isn't there?
(05:06):
For sure.
Lots of documents, lots of longcontracts.
Yes.
Okay.
This story we're going to sharetogether begins in the winter of
2018.
I'm the executive director ofExcelsior Academy and Excelsior
is going to expand.
We currently at that time had700.
(05:27):
So students Excelsior Academy isa charter school in Tooele
County in the southwest of theSalt Lake City airport.
We have a few 100 students onthe wait list and have for some
time.
We have completed all theexpansion applications we've
purchased land.
We have the additional acreageand we're going to build a new
middle school.
(05:48):
we've had the constructioncompany.
We're going to call that companycommercial builders.
We have an attorney.
We're going to call him Tim andthe construction managers.
We're going to call Hank.
And we've given these people andentities made up names.
we're on a tight schedule andthis is how it is when most
(06:10):
schools are built, isn't it?
School's supposed to start themiddle of August and this is
January and the foundation hasbeen poured and that's about
where we are in this project.
Melissa is new in myneighborhood.
It's been exciting having herthere, but I don't know her very
well.
I've popped in here to explainthe next scene in the original
(06:32):
interview with Melissa.
I did not think to include thisimportant part of the story,
which has.
Why was it or how was it?
That Melissa moved into myneighborhood.
And if she had not moved into myneighborhood, then this story
would have never happened.
So the next scene is going toinclude Melissa coming back and
(06:55):
explaining how it was that shemoved into my neighborhood.
And as you're listening to thisstory, you might have your own
experience come to your mind.
Where you've seen the hand ofGod in your life.
And if that occurs, I hope thatyou will leave me a comment.
(07:15):
On YouTube, because I'd like tostart communicating with you.
Perhaps we can share your storywith everyone through dear
daughters of God.
And while you're there, pleasesubscribe.
So you don't miss the nextepisode.
And.
To help others find this video.
here's Melissa.
(07:35):
so when you started working for Big
Deconstruction, that brought youback to Utah.
squadcaster-j1ei_1_01-28-2 (07:41):
Yes.
So I had started, I'd been inLas Vegas after law school
working for a large firm there.
They also had an office in SaltLake.
And when I originally startedworking with Big D they were in
Las Vegas and they wereheadquartered in Salt Lake, but
I stayed in Las Vegas for alittle while.
And I had the option to continuestaying in Las Vegas, but I.
was single and felt just areally strong prompting that I
needed to move to Salt Lake.
(08:02):
And I had one foot in each doorthinking, okay, I'll keep my
condo in Las Vegas in case Idon't like it, but I got an
apartment in Salt Lake and,figured, okay, I had this very
strong prompting that I'msupposed to move to Salt Lake.
And so I rented an apartment inNorth Salt Lake just off the
freeway, which was a good closetrip to the office.
It was also close to the temple.
(08:22):
Which, was another thing thatwas important to me.
And so I thought, okay, we'llgive this a try.
ste_1_01-28-2024_123757 (08:26):
Those were nice apartments.
They were brand new at the time.
squadcaster-j1ei_1_01-28-2 (08:30):
Yes, so I was actually the first
person to live in it.
So it was the top floor in thecorner.
it was gonna be a new adventure.
ste_1_01-28-2024_123757 (08:36):
What an ideal location.
How did that come about?
squadcaster-j1ei_1_01-28-202 (08:40):
So after a couple months thinking,
all right, how am I gonna, Ithought, okay, I'm gonna move to
Salt Lake.
And so I moved up all my stuffand was unpacking one afternoon
and I was hanging up a pictureof.
The temple and I drilled rightinto the fire sprinkler line for
the building.
It was just a plastic PVC pipethat was immediately adjacent to
(09:01):
the drywall.
And my little hole thenprecipitated flood that ended up
flooding my apartment.
And by the time the firefightersgot the water off, there was
four inches of standing water onthe bottom floor apartment.
And six units were not livable,including mine.
And so that was a moment where Ijust thought, okay, I'm ready to
live like an adult and, be in anestablished area.
(09:24):
I'm just gonna rent a house.
And so I looked at the housesthat were for rent and ended up
finding a house that was in theEaglewood neighborhood that you
live in.
It was more space than I neededas a single girl, but I did have
a brother that was gonna livewith me,
ste_1_01-28-2024_123757 (09:37):
I And good thing you did, because.
We had this house that hadbecome a rental, which was a
disappointment and a shock toall of us in this neighborhood.
when Melissa moved in, sheturned it into this beautiful
place.
She loved the yard it, sheworked in the garden.
We were all thrilled because notonly did she have this.
(09:59):
Wonderful personality and was sodelightful to be around, but she
made the home and the gardensbeautiful.
So it may have seemed a bit toomuch for you, but you were
perfect for all of theneighborhood.
We were thrilled to have Melissawith us in that neighborhood.
squadcaster-j1ei_1_01-28-202 (10:23):
it ended up being a big blessing,
it precipitated.
Like I said, feeling moresettled, a lot of great
friendships.
And then ultimately I ended up,meeting my husband and, that's
where we stayed for the firstyear of our marriage before we
moved to Washington, DC.
ste_1_01-28-2024_123757 (10:35):
Yes.
That's where you met James.
Stephanie test (10:37):
I was a single woman, 35 living in,
neighborhood with mostlyestablished families.
But I, it was just to the pointwhere I really wanted to.
I live like an established adultinstead of, like a transitory
person.
And so I, lived two houses upfrom Stephanie.
I think we'd met in passing acouple of times.
And I thought, there's clearlyan accomplished woman who I
(10:58):
would be really interested ingetting to know, but we were
both so busy that, I just didn'tget the opportunity to really
know her.
And then when I got assigned tobe her ministering sister, I was
excited.
For the opportunity to visitwith her before we got to start
to work together on thisconstruction project, we would
sit down and in Stephanie'ssitting room and visit for a
(11:19):
half an hour or so once a monthor every few weeks.
it was great to get to know her,but it was just, the
relationship still seemed very.
Formal she was somebody who Iknew and was interested in
getting to know more, hadn'tnecessarily evolved to the level
of what I would call afriendship yet.
Good point.
I agree.
I agree.
Okay.
So in my life about this timewe're having these construction
(11:44):
meetings about every two weekswith volunteers to make sure
that the construction plan isgoing as it should.
And all of a sudden, Hank, theconstruction manager who works
for commercial builders,
All right, just to be sure.
Hank is not his real name Andthat is not as actual pitcher,
(12:06):
but anyway, He's stoppedcommunication and that's very
unusual.
He's not emailing.
He's not responding to hiscalls.
He's not responding to textmessages and construction is
slowing down drastically.
we're on this tight schedule.
So this is beginning to worryme.
And the construction committeeis asking me what's going on?
(12:28):
why aren't we having thesemeetings?
Where's Hank?
And I thought, I don'tunderstand why Hank isn't
responding and a couple of weekspass and maybe the 3rd week
passes and then the coming onthe 4th week.
Suddenly get a call at the endof the week, Friday night from
Hank.
And he says to me, and he'srushed and upset on the phone,
and he says can I meet with you?
(12:49):
And I was like, oh, yes, you betyou can meet with me.
And he says right now, I waslike yes.
This is late on a Friday night.
And he comes to my office.
I'm shocked because his officeis almost an hour away, but he
must have been in the area.
He comes and he says there's aproblem.
Excelsior is way over budget.
(13:10):
I'm shocked to hear this becauseI haven't heard anything about
us being over budget.
We've only just laid thefoundation.
Everything's been going verysmoothly up to this point.
I said, where are we overbudget?
he says it's mostly withinunstable soils.
That's the majority of it.
That's worth about$250, 000approximately.
(13:35):
And I was like, What?
we paid a lot of money forengineering tests to happen
before the foundation was laid,where they drilled in to see and
make sure the soils were viable.
And so I'm confused by thisanswer of his.
then before I could say muchmore about that, he lists about.
(13:57):
Oh, six more things that we'regoing to cost and add up to the
additional total of about$565,000.
And then he says, I've got togo.
And he was very just reallyupset himself.
I don't mean he was mean, but hewas just upset.
He says, I've got something elseto attend to.
And he's out of my office.
(14:17):
And I'm left there wonderingwhat on earth just happened.
then I head home.
I'm very dismayed and I'mwondering how can I even let
this construction project goforward?
this is a 10 million project.
I'm ultimately responsible tomake sure that we're within
budget.
And we're already 120th overbudget and we're just starting.
(14:42):
What do I do?
What do I say to theconstruction committee?
And how can we be.
liable for this when it doesn'teven make sense.
So I'm feeling very burdened.
I go home and that's the stateI'm in.
Melissa, what's happening inyour life at this time?
So I was just recently marriedand busy with work and just,
(15:05):
fulfilling work obligations andgetting used to married life and
enjoying, my ministeringassignment in addition to other
things.
Okay.
Then.
I get a call from Melissa andshe's asking if she can come and
visit with me as a ministeringand sister.
And at this point I'm feelingvery overwhelmed with
(15:25):
everything.
And my first inclination is tojust politely and kindly say, I
just don't have the time, butthank you.
And I'm about to say that.
And words come to my mind verystrongly, and it's Stephanie,
(15:47):
make the time.
And I pause and say yes,Melissa, would Sunday night work
for you?
And she says, yes, Sunday nightwould work.
And so we make that appointmentshe came over Sunday night and
we're in this little sittingroom we start with just
formalities.
(16:07):
Melissa said, really ourrelationship at this time was
just friendly and more on aformal basis.
We are two professional women.
We were kind to each other, butwe didn't know each other well,
and she asked how are things atschool?
And my canned answer for peoplewhen things were hard was just,
(16:28):
oh there's always some problems,but isn't that how work is?
Who really wants to hear aboutyour work problems?
But again, in this moment.
The spirit said to me, sharewith Melissa the problems you're
having at Excelsior.
And I was rather stunned to hearthis message and humbled because
(16:54):
I thought, can I share this?
But I was like, yes, you can.
And I hesitated, but I began totell her the truth.
Of what had just happened withHank, this construction manager,
how he came in my office andquickly shared with me 565, 000
(17:17):
worth of overage to our budgetafter not speaking with me for a
few weeks.
And I didn't even know what todo, wondered if I had needed to
stop the whole constructionproject.
And Melissa, what happened fromthere?
So I remember, going in thatit's, and I had met with
Stephanie a number of timesbefore, and you could sometimes
tell when someone's tired or hasa lot on their plate, but
(17:39):
Stephanie is always very poisedand controlled and, doesn't dump
her, lay her burdens on otherpeople unnecessarily.
I just remember coming over thatevening and I could Tell
Stephanie, she just looked notwell and that something was
really bothering her.
but we didn't necessarily have arelationship personal enough,
where I thought she wouldimmediately be comfortable
(18:01):
telling me what was wrong.
And so we were, we're justvisiting and because I do
construction and, one of thethings that helped her open up a
little bit more was how thingswere going on the construction
project because I knew she wasReally excited about that
opportunity in the new school soI thought maybe i'll lighten the
mood and ask her about theconstruction project I asked her
about the construction projectand immediately sensed her
(18:23):
stiffen up and a level ofhesitancy at first she gave a
very standoffish answer But itwas clear that things were not
going well on the project partlyjust because I was curious and
partly because I actually unlikewhen people ask me questions
about their divorce or, otherthings.
I don't have value to add.
(18:43):
I thought.
If there's something going wrongon the construction process,
maybe I can set her mind at easeor help manage her expectations
on something.
And so I pushed a little bitmore, which wasn't necessarily
comfortable for me.
And I could tell Stephanie wasresisting it.
And then when I had asked hermore, she just teared up and,
just confessed that things werenot going well.
(19:04):
But I could tell she still wasvery hesitant about burdening my
time as another professionalwith the specifics of the
problem and was hesitant to makeit my problem, if that makes
sense.
And, but, as we talked, shestarted sharing more and more of
the specific details about whatwas going on the project.
(19:24):
There you go.
That's how it happened.
That's right.
I remember tearing up and Iremember feeling hesitant can I
share?
But at the same time I knew Iwas supposed to, and it was such
relief to share that with you.
It was such relief.
And then Melissa's reaction wasafter I shared what had happened
with Hank and how we're over$565,000 and Melissa's reaction
(19:51):
was, do you have theconstruction contract?
And I said yes, I have anelectronic file of it.
And I'm thinking, boy, thatthing is huge.
It was so intimidating to me.
And she said, can you send thatto me?
I said yes.
She said, send it to me firstthing in the morning.
So I did Monday morning, I sentit to her first thing and I was
(20:14):
amazed because it was maybe anhour later that I get it back
from Melissa and certainportions are yellow highlighted,
and she's Outlined whichportions that Hank has Gone
against what's the proper term?
Essentially, he was requestingcompensation that wasn't allowed
(20:37):
by the agreement.
There were certain areas of riskthat the construction company
had assumed under theconstruction contract, and he
was disregarding those andrequesting changes from the
district for what he had viewedas cost overruns.
There you go.
Those are the terms.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then she also had writtenher next suggestion that we send
(21:00):
a letter to the constructioncompany explaining that with
this contract highlighted, thatthis was the reason that we
wouldn't be responsible for allof these costs.
I was just amazed.
It was just spelled out for me,but Melissa knew we had an
attorney, right?
(21:21):
So she said, call your attorney,call Tim and share with him this
information I've given to youand ask Tim to send the letter
to commercial builders, yourcontractor.
so I did just that.
Tim just did not.
I agree with his approach.
He just thought this is all justgoing to work out.
(21:42):
Let's just all let it just shakeout.
I couldn't take that risk nordid my construction committee
agree with taking the risk oflet's just let this$565, 000
leave it hanging and just seewhat's going to happen.
No one agreed with thatapproach.
I went back to Melissa and said,Melissa.
(22:04):
Tim doesn't agree with this andMelissa, what was your
suggestion?
What do you think we should do?
And we weren't trying to set itup for an overly aggressive
posture.
The purpose of the letter was tooutline the provisions of the
contract that governed thesituations that.
They had asked for more moneyfor and to essentially provide
(22:24):
an explanation and an outline asto why those were not
Excelsior's responsibility, notin an aggressive litigious
manner, but it would be hard tohave a productive meeting with
them until they had reviewedthese provisions and remembered
what their obligations were.
So the goal of the letter was.
To outline and say, you've givenus these costs and let's go
(22:45):
through what our contract sayson those and then set it up for
a future meeting to discussthose.
But it was important to have thesubstantive discussion about who
was responsible for it.
Via contract.
Otherwise, any meeting with themwouldn't have necessarily had
the right background.
Because the constructioncontract is long, they wouldn't
(23:06):
have been in necessarily aposition to read and respond to
it during the meeting.
The letter was trying to helpgive them background on why
these weren't Excelsior'sresponsibility and try and
resolve those costs goingforward.
And also, it was important thatgiven the project was just
starting on the build side.
It wasn't only trying to solvethis specific cost issue, but
(23:29):
also to set the stage thatExcelsior expected the
contractor to hold up its end ofthe bargain for the rest of the
construction project as well.
Perfectly said.
Perfectly said.
Tim still didn't that ourattorneys said, I'm not going to
get involved in this and don'twant to do this.
So Melissa said Stephanie, yougo ahead and send the letter
(23:52):
that I've written and just signyour name.
And I thought, wait, that'sreally gracious and generous of
her.
She's done all this work andshe's saying, Stephanie, go
ahead and sign it with, as if Idid the work, but it was fine
with her.
And the construction committeeagreed to that.
And we understood the reasonsfor it.
(24:13):
By no means could we just letthis go by the wayside.
So we did just that.
I signed the letter and sent itto commercial builders.
And it was solved.
It was solved.
And I thought at that point,boy, construction builders now
understands that they betterstay right within this contract.
(24:38):
Because we have someone that'slooking carefully at the
contract, so they're now goingto stay right within the
contract and everything's goingto go along just fine.
And I thought that's how itwould go, but I was incorrect.
Unfortunately, there continuedto be one issue after another.
(24:59):
Melissa continued to ask as myfriend and ministering sister,
how are things going?
And I learned the truth is best.
I could tell Melissa.
And Melissa what was your ideathen?
So it was interesting because Icould definitely sense that
Stephanie still had, a highlevel of respect for my time and
(25:21):
a hesitation to impose on it,especially when they had, hired
attorneys, they had beenprepared on their side.
But she, I remember oneafternoon, and I don't know if
you remember this, Stephaniewhere I could tell she was
frustrated with or upset withanother issue that was eating.
Eating at her and I asked her ifshe had prayed about it and she
just said of course I have I'veprayed about it, significantly
(25:42):
and it just, I remember thinkingyou've prayed for an answer and
I'm your answer because theparticular skill set as far as
resolving those course ofconstruction issues There aren't
a lot of lawyers that specializein that and it wasn't something
that she could even go out andhire necessarily if she wanted
without Retaining a lawyer thatmay have had a conflict or
(26:02):
worked on the other side or hadthe availability to provide The
advice that she needed on thetimetable that excelsior needed
it.
So I just remember thinking thisis an opportunity to get to know
Stephanie better but also toserve her with A skill set that
I had, and I remember, thinkingthe other lady I ministered to
had four little kids, and Iremember thinking, gosh,
(26:23):
Stephanie, it's a lot easier forme to spend an hour reviewing a
construction contract than it istwo hours babysitting for little
kids, even though I did the fourlittle kids, and I thought, this
is ha.
This is what I do.
Just let me help you.
And then once we finally Ifinally got her comfortable with
the concept of letting me helpit, it blossomed into a really
productive working relationshipon that, but also the start of
(26:47):
what I view as a beautifulfriendship because, we were
doing something together andworking on solving a problem
together in, roles that we bothenjoyed mine, as a construction
lawyer and Stephanie as anadministrator.
Yes, That's true.
It's nothing like having aproblem to solve together that
can bring two people closetogether.
(27:08):
And so Melissa just said to mewhy don't you just put me on
your construction committee?
And I said, really?
You're okay with that?
And she's yes, of course, I'mokay with that.
And I'm thinking.
You work in downtown Salt Lake,my school's in Tooele, that's
really out of your way.
And she was like, I'm happy todo it.
(27:30):
And it was just that attitudethat She'd rather do that than,
watching over four kids for afew hours because it was her
specialty.
She knew what she was doing andvery few understand that area
like she does.
So she started coming to ourconstruction committee meetings.
(27:51):
It was funny because the rest ofthe committee members looked for
reasons to not come after that.
Because they were like,Melissa's here.
She's got this As just anothermember, she said, don't
introduce me as an attorney,just call me Melissa.
And I thought this is such agood example to me of a very
humble approach that Melissa hasto life.
(28:14):
She is well known inconstruction law and across this
country and she had no pretense.
She didn't need that to be knownat that point.
She was just Melissa on thiscommittee, willing to do her
part in these meetings.
And so that's what kept usgoing.
(28:35):
That's what kept us on schedule.
That's what kept commercialbuilders in line.
It kept their problems a littlemore at bay Near the end we
found there were, I think, someunderlying feelings of
frustration from Hank andMelissa, do you remember that
issue with the elevator?
(28:56):
And here we are, the building'sdone, and do you want to talk
about that?
Yeah, sometimes one of theharder things to have happen at
the end of a project is to getall of your inspections done on
the time frames because, thestate officials have Demands on
their time and you have tocoordinate with your elevator
contractor to be there for thoseinspections and there was an
(29:17):
issue with a fairly simple fixwith the elevator that had
failed inspection and we neededto have the contractor back out
when the inspector could come inorder to be able to start school
and Hank had said I've talked tothe inspector and he can't come
and tell, 10 days from now,which was a full week after
school was supposed to havestarted.
And that's the best, that we cando.
(29:37):
And so it was an opportunity.
I was able to say, okay, I don'tnecessarily know personally this
elevator company, but I knowpeople who do.
And I think we can figure outhow to get.
Some guys from the elevatorcompany out there for half an
hour for an inspection.
So it was an opportunity that Iwas able to use some of the
contacts that I had to call thecompany and explain, no, we
really need, someone to come outand do this inspection.
(29:59):
we were able to coordinate itpartly because, I was able to
put in, the additional level ofeffort that, Hank just either
wasn't capable of or wasn'twilling to put in and, by this.
point we had to almost drag himthrough the process, trying to
do it very cooperatively and, ateam oriented environment, but
he just seemed to struggle withsolving some of the basic
(30:21):
issues.
And I wasn't trying to.
Be litigious, just in asituation where we could say,
okay, what's a problem solvingapproach to this?
How can we get this done?
And help drag it through.
And we were able to get theelevator contractor out there
and get the inspection signedoff on so that school could
start.
That's right.
It was such an incredibly,important moment for us because
(30:43):
a very large community, anExcelsior community was
depending on school startingthat day as planned on the
school calendar.
It wasn't just the middle schoolstudents, but all of the
students of Excelsior because ifthe middle school students
couldn't start, neither couldtheir younger siblings at the
elementary school.
So it affected about 1150students and all of their
(31:04):
families.
It was because Melissa'swillingness to answer the call
as a ministering sister and giveof her time again, all as a
volunteer to make it happen, totalk to all of those
subcontractors, get thatelevator guy, I'll just call him
the guy, out there, thatelevator inspection completed,
(31:24):
and qualified so we could indeedget inside the building and
start school on the day that itwas supposed to start.
It meant the world to me as anadministrator and to the
community at Excelsior.
It was just a miracle myviewpoint.
And it all came from Melissa'sjust really calm and willing
(31:48):
attitude to fulfill her callingas ministering sister.
So I was eternally grateful forher willingness.
I think sometimes when we talkabout, ministering sisters and
ministering assignments, wethink of the benefit that, that,
say the Stephanie in thissituation, receives as the
result ministering sister.
(32:09):
But it was really an incredibleblessing for me.
Because I was able to give someservice that I felt made a
difference doing something thatI do that was you know, I mean
it's going to the weeklyconstruction meetings was
definitely an effort but I wasable to get the blessings in my
life at a time when you know Ifelt like I needed them of being
(32:30):
able to give that service andthen the enduring blessing of
having a beautiful friendshipbloom out of it.
And it was really ended up beinga very fulfilling process for me
to be able to be involved, tofeel like I had given something
and created something and to getto know Stephanie as a friend.
Yes, that's so true.
(32:51):
it came from first of all.
From my perspective, learninghow to share hard things with
those that are wanting sincerelyto help.
That's where it started.
I had to learn that I had to letgo of my pride and listen to the
Spirit and be willing to sharesomething that was
(33:12):
uncomfortable.
I had to show this beautifulwoman that my life was not
perfect.
My life had problems and Iwasn't handling it well.
I didn't know how to handle it.
And Boy, I might even cry aboutit I think clearly in this
situation Like I had asked herStephanie clearly had the faith
(33:33):
to be able to pray for an answerBut the harder part sometimes
when you are a strong andcapable woman is to have the
humility to accept the help whenit comes And I had no doubt that
I was the answer to Stephanie'sprayer, but it's not always
comfortable to ask somebody elseto help you because you feel
like you're being a burden orlike you're intruding upon them.
(33:54):
And to me, it was, a reminderthat sometimes, when we're the
person who's being served, thefaith to ask for help doesn't
necessarily Give us a lot,unless we have the humility to
be able to, accept the answer tothe prayer that comes.
Yes, That's right.
Unless we have the humility toaccept that help.
That's right.
(34:14):
Which isn't always, acomfortable position to be in.
I know that especiallybalancing, twins after they were
first born, I'd have people whowould call and say, what can I
help you with?
And I remember thinking, I'mfine.
But then I'm going, but I'm not,I can't use, someone to go pick
up a couple gallons of milk atthe store or little things.
And so this year, especially notas much now, I feel like I'm
emerging from it, but the firstfew weeks and months of having
(34:37):
newborn twins and a very activeopinionated three year olds was
definitely an exercise for me inlearning to accept service.
And I found that as I did learnto accept that service and
actually articulate some of thethings that I did need people to
help me with, that I could feelblessings flow into my life as a
result of that.
Yes.
Because Heavenly Father wants,to do his work, but he wants to
(35:01):
do it through us.
And so we need to allow him todo just that by allowing
ourselves to be helped by oneanother.
Exactly,
In the end, Excelsior showed ourgratitude towards Melissa for
her many months of volunteerwork.
By dedicating a classroom toher, we made it the Melissa
(35:25):
Withy Classroom.
We had a big assembly with a few student
performances and we had Melissaspeak.
And at the end, the teachers gotto meet Melissa.
And this is when we dedicatedthe classroom.
We put up a sign that said,Melissa, Withy classroom.
(36:10):
That's one way Excelsior gaveback and remembered Melissa
Withy, and her effort.
On our behalf.
Melissa, was there anything elsethat comes to your mind about
this experience that you'd liketo share?
Just again, that I thought, whata coincidence that probably the
only person who I have ever orwill ever, meet in Relief
(36:32):
Society has Construction projectchallenge.
That's, and I don't doresidential construction.
I do large commercial projects.
And so what is just interestingto me as another example of how
the Lord is in the details ofour life that I had been
assigned to minister toStephanie during the exact time
that she was having, a challengethat not only was I uniquely
(36:53):
able to help with it, it washelped that she wouldn't be able
to readily find it any placeelse, even in the local legal
market.
And so it was a neat experiencefor me to remember that not only
was the Lord in the details ofStephanie's life, that he was in
the details of my life byhelping make this ministering
assignment.
Yes, it's exactly right.
(37:13):
Melissa.
It's good to hear how the Lordwas also in the detail of your
life.
something else has come to mymind I covered it in episode 10,
the prodigal daughter.
it's an offshoot of this storyfrom that.
We became friends and Melissamoved to Virginia and then later
(37:35):
my daughter Savannah moved toWashington D.
C.
in the district area and she washaving a baby and I couldn't get
there because Richard wasquarantined and it was Melissa
that was there for Savannah.
Do you remember that Melissa?
I do.
And it was during COVID, becausethey were quarantined.
(37:56):
I had been new to Virginia, wedidn't have the opportunity to
make a lot of friends, peopleweren't really reaching out.
And we were a little bit lonely.
At this point, my daughter wasjust over a year old.
And we didn't know a lot ofpeople.
we got to meet Savannah and Sam,who were in a similar situation.
we'd gotten together with them acouple times before.
I remember getting a call fromSavannah one evening saying,
(38:17):
I've gone into labor early I wasable to meet her and her husband
at the hospital and take Eliza,their three year old for a
couple of days.
And so it was fun to have thatintroduction, be able to breed
more friends along the way.
Yes.
That's exactly what it did.
It did bring more friendshipsbetween you and Savannah and Sam
(38:37):
and James and all of us and theblessing that Melissa has been
in my life again and mychildren's lives and
grandchildren's lives allbecause of that initial calling
as a ministering sister and mylesson in learning how to share
your problems.
even if it's hard and a littleembarrassing to admit, so you
(39:00):
have problems and there'ssomeone here to help you.
And that's the way the Lordwants it.
He wants you to be helped.
He wants you to learn how to behelped.
He wants to serve you and hewants to do it through your
friend.
She's here to serve you.
Melissa.
Did you have a scripture thatrelated to this story that you
(39:21):
wanted to share?
the one that came to mind that I've, really
embraced a lot over probably thelast 10 years of my life, I
think fits perfectly.
So it's in first Nephi chapter17, when Nephi is talking about
the challenges of having to livein the wilderness for the last
eight years.
and the way that he.
Recounts those is, he says, sogreat were the blessings of the
(39:43):
Lord that while they had rawmeat in the wilderness, their
women were able to have strengthto bear children and to nurse in
the wilderness.
And they were able to see thecommandments of God be
fulfilled.
And then, in verse three, itcontinues the commandments of
God.
He does nourish them andstrengthen them and provide
means whereby they canaccomplish the thing which he
has commanded.
Wherefore, he did provide meansfor us while we did sojourn in
(40:05):
the wilderness.
And I think I've read thatscripture when I remember
thinking, gosh, that's ablessing I want.
I don't want to be living in thewilderness and eating raw meat
and then all of a sudden bestrong enough to bear and rear
children in the wilderness.
I don't want to be in thewilderness to begin with.
I want my meat to be cooked.
And I think so often that whenwe have a problem, we pray to
(40:27):
the Lord to take the challengeaway.
But the blessing that the Lordgenerally wants to provide is to
give us the strength to be ableto overcome that challenge.
And so trying to remember thatwhen I do come upon challenges
and hard things, To have myinclination not to be this isn't
fair, Lord, please take thischallenge away from me, but that
(40:48):
if I pray for help and strengthto be able to overcome the
challenge, that's when theenabling power of the atonement
can operate in our lives.
and that we can receive thestrength and the peace and the
reassurance to overcome thechallenges that are in our life,
no matter how difficult they maybe.
I love that scripture because,it reminds us as to what the
(41:11):
promise of obedience is.
The promise of discipleship isnot that we won't have
challenges.
The promise of discipleship isthat we will have the enabling
power of the atonement tostrengthen us and bring peace in
our lives, no matter howoverwhelming the challenges that
we do face in this life.
In fact, we are promised we willreceive challenges and there
(41:35):
will be opposition in allthings.
So thinking that if we keepcommandments, we should avoid
challenges, we're just going tomake ourselves really frustrated
because we are going to havechallenges in life.
That's the whole purpose of whywe're here.
But what we're promised is peaceand strength and the power to
overcome and to grow in theprocess.
Yes.
(41:55):
Yes.
Those challenges are part of ournecessary part of our exalted
existence.
Just Joseph Smith in prison,just like Joseph of Egypt.
As a slave and in prison, wemust have those challenges and
they, it's not just for ourexalted existence, but for the
influence that has on thosearound us for generations to
(42:19):
come.
That was beautiful.
Melissa.
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing thatscripture with us Melissa, it's
been a joy having you.
Thank you for joining me..
I've enjoyed it.
and fun that we ended up colorcoordinated
Stephanie Eccles's video reco (42:36):
I want to thank Melissa with you
for joining me today and sharingthe story together.
And thank Melissa for helpingExcelsior academy, complete
their middle school on budgetand on time.
I also want to thank my HeavenlyFather for blessing me.
With Melissa Withy, as aministering and sister.
(42:59):
you had an experience where youhave felt the hand of your
Father and heaven in your life?
Or perhaps a family member'slife.
If you have reach out to me.
I would like to help you sharethat story.
You can find
me atdeardaughterstalk@gmail.com.
Stephanie Eccles's video rec (43:19):
Or on YouTube and leave a comment
and we'll start to communicatethat way.
Some of you have asked from mydaughter, Savannah Johnston.
Who was on episode six.
Called going forward with thefaith.
You can find Savannah.
On Savypolitics.
Savypolitics is in two places,both on YouTube.
(43:40):
And on Instagram, she would loveto hear from you.
For now I will say for well,until we meet again.
Welcome to Dear Daughters of God.
My name is Stephanie Eccles,your host I'm a school
administrator, naturalstoryteller, and I am a daughter
of God.
I tell the stories of our livesfrom the perspective of the
gospel of Jesus Christ.
This is Episode 15, MinisteringMiracles Save the School,
(00:20):
Melissa Withy's journey fromconstruction law to community
hero.
Microphone (Samson Q2U (00:26):
Welcome, dear daughters of God.
I address you that way becausethat's what you are to Him.
To our Heavenly Father, you aredear.
Stephanie test (00:35):
We have a guest today.
Her name is Melissa Withy andI'm so thrilled she's here.
She's an outstanding woman.
Melissa, welcome.
Thank you.
Melissa is coming to us fromVirginia.
We met in Utah a few years ago,but she's been living in
Virginia for the last few years.
Let me introduce Melissa to youfirst, and then we'll talk a
(00:58):
little bit more about ourrelationship.
Melissa is the senior vicepresident and general counsel
for big deconstruction companiesand sits on the board of
directors prior to joining In2014, she was a partner at a
large law firm practicingconstruction law.
After our original recording,Melissa received a new position
(01:20):
within big D construction.
There was an article writtenabout it.
Construction dive writes
in their article header Quote, big D taps
construction law vet for chieflegal officer.
Melissa Bueller Withy who haswritten and edited two books on
construction law.
First represented the company asa partner at a private law firm.
(01:44):
Unquote.
Where did her expertise begin?
It was as a graduate of the J.
Reuben Clark School of Law.
Now her family has blossomed.
She is married to James.
They have a daughter that's fourand a half years old and
identical twin boys.
That are 18 months old.
Can you imagine?
She enjoys Ironman triathlons,yoga, cooking, and gardening.
(02:09):
Melissa, I'm wondering if youhave any time for those hobbies
at this time of your life.
Much less than I used to, forsure, although little kids do
like playing in the dirt, so Ido get to do a lot of yard work
and gardening with them, butsome of the others have had to
take a little bit more of abackseat to tending my little
circus.
Yes.
So tell me some of the joys thatyou've experienced in living in
(02:32):
Virginia.
we're just right outside theDistrict of Columbia.
We live in Northern Virginia.
We've really enjoyed it.
My husband's a defensecontractor, so it's a great
place for him, but it's been funto be in a place that's very
vibrant.
Lots of different culturalexperiences, a great mix of
people.
There's incredible museums andalways interesting things to do.
(02:52):
So other than July, when Ireally hate the humidity and the
bugs we've really enjoyed livingin Virginia.
I've enjoyed visiting you inVirginia.
That's for sure.
That's right.
Tell us what you find fulfillingin your career in Construction
law.
when I went to law school, Ididn't even know that
(03:14):
construction law was aspecialty.
And then, I started working witha partner that did construction
law because our personalitiesfit well together.
But now I'm 20 years into beinga construction lawyer.
And what I love about what I dois you're solving different
problems every time.
a good portion of what I do iswhat I call the project workout
(03:34):
where you have a contract andsigned and you've encountered
some type of problem thatimpacts the ability to perform
the work or the schedule or theprice, and you're trying to
solve it within the terms of thecontract, but also within a way
that works for both parties.
And so I enjoy that challenge oftrying to work towards positive
solutions.
And then it's fun to see yourprojects be built at the end of
(03:57):
the day as well.
Yes.
I would enjoy that part, thefinished building.
walking through it and knowingthat you were a part of making
it all succeed.
But you know, having said thatwhen I first met you, it was
hard for me to connect you withconstruction law, because I hear
(04:19):
about this new neighbor.
I go to meet Melissa and hereshe is a classic beauty.
And right away I can tell she'sincredibly intelligent, put
together woman.
And in my mind, And I wasthinking, how do the two mix
this classic intelligent womanwith construction.
now having become Melissa'sfriend and having experienced
(04:42):
this story that we're about toshare, I understand how the two
go together.
But that was my beginningimpression with Melissa's.
How do the two mix?
That's funny.
I've heard that from a coupleother people.
They're like, I don'tunderstand.
And no, I don't drive aforklift, but I do work in
construction.
There's a very different side ofconstruction, isn't there?
(05:06):
For sure.
Lots of documents, lots of longcontracts.
Yes.
Okay.
This story we're going to sharetogether begins in the winter of
2018.
I'm the executive director ofExcelsior Academy and Excelsior
is going to expand.
We currently at that time had700.
(05:27):
So students Excelsior Academy isa charter school in Tooele
County in the southwest of theSalt Lake City airport.
We have a few 100 students onthe wait list and have for some
time.
We have completed all theexpansion applications we've
purchased land.
We have the additional acreageand we're going to build a new
middle school.
(05:48):
we've had the constructioncompany.
We're going to call that companycommercial builders.
We have an attorney.
We're going to call him Tim andthe construction managers.
We're going to call Hank.
And we've given these people andentities made up names.
we're on a tight schedule andthis is how it is when most
(06:10):
schools are built, isn't it?
School's supposed to start themiddle of August and this is
January and the foundation hasbeen poured and that's about
where we are in this project.
Melissa is new in myneighborhood.
It's been exciting having herthere, but I don't know her very
well.
I've popped in here to explainthe next scene in the original
(06:32):
interview with Melissa.
I did not think to include thisimportant part of the story,
which has.
Why was it or how was it?
That Melissa moved into myneighborhood.
And if she had not moved into myneighborhood, then this story
would have never happened.
So the next scene is going toinclude Melissa coming back and
(06:55):
explaining how it was that shemoved into my neighborhood.
And as you're listening to thisstory, you might have your own
experience come to your mind.
Where you've seen the hand ofGod in your life.
And if that occurs, I hope thatyou will leave me a comment.
(07:15):
On YouTube, because I'd like tostart communicating with you.
Perhaps we can share your storywith everyone through dear
daughters of God.
And while you're there, pleasesubscribe.
So you don't miss the nextepisode.
And.
To help others find this video.
here's Melissa.
(07:35):
so when you started working for Big
Deconstruction, that brought youback to Utah.
squadcaster-j1ei_1_01-28-2 (07:41):
Yes.
So I had started, I'd been inLas Vegas after law school
working for a large firm there.
They also had an office in SaltLake.
And when I originally startedworking with Big D they were in
Las Vegas and they wereheadquartered in Salt Lake, but
I stayed in Las Vegas for alittle while.
And I had the option to continuestaying in Las Vegas, but I.
was single and felt just areally strong prompting that I
needed to move to Salt Lake.
(08:02):
And I had one foot in each doorthinking, okay, I'll keep my
condo in Las Vegas in case Idon't like it, but I got an
apartment in Salt Lake and,figured, okay, I had this very
strong prompting that I'msupposed to move to Salt Lake.
And so I rented an apartment inNorth Salt Lake just off the
freeway, which was a good closetrip to the office.
It was also close to the temple.
(08:22):
Which, was another thing thatwas important to me.
And so I thought, okay, we'llgive this a try.
ste_1_01-28-2024_123757 (08:26):
Those were nice apartments.
They were brand new at the time.
squadcaster-j1ei_1_01-28-2 (08:30):
Yes, so I was actually the first
person to live in it.
So it was the top floor in thecorner.
it was gonna be a new adventure.
ste_1_01-28-2024_123757 (08:36):
What an ideal location.
How did that come about?
squadcaster-j1ei_1_01-28-202 (08:40):
So after a couple months thinking,
all right, how am I gonna, Ithought, okay, I'm gonna move to
Salt Lake.
And so I moved up all my stuffand was unpacking one afternoon
and I was hanging up a pictureof.
The temple and I drilled rightinto the fire sprinkler line for
the building.
It was just a plastic PVC pipethat was immediately adjacent to
(09:01):
the drywall.
And my little hole thenprecipitated flood that ended up
flooding my apartment.
And by the time the firefightersgot the water off, there was
four inches of standing water onthe bottom floor apartment.
And six units were not livable,including mine.
And so that was a moment where Ijust thought, okay, I'm ready to
live like an adult and, be in anestablished area.
(09:24):
I'm just gonna rent a house.
And so I looked at the housesthat were for rent and ended up
finding a house that was in theEaglewood neighborhood that you
live in.
It was more space than I neededas a single girl, but I did have
a brother that was gonna livewith me,
ste_1_01-28-2024_123757 (09:37):
I And good thing you did, because.
We had this house that hadbecome a rental, which was a
disappointment and a shock toall of us in this neighborhood.
when Melissa moved in, sheturned it into this beautiful
place.
She loved the yard it, sheworked in the garden.
We were all thrilled because notonly did she have this.
(09:59):
Wonderful personality and was sodelightful to be around, but she
made the home and the gardensbeautiful.
So it may have seemed a bit toomuch for you, but you were
perfect for all of theneighborhood.
We were thrilled to have Melissawith us in that neighborhood.
squadcaster-j1ei_1_01-28-202 (10:23):
it ended up being a big blessing,
it precipitated.
Like I said, feeling moresettled, a lot of great
friendships.
And then ultimately I ended up,meeting my husband and, that's
where we stayed for the firstyear of our marriage before we
moved to Washington, DC.
ste_1_01-28-2024_123757 (10:35):
Yes.
That's where you met James.
Stephanie test (10:37):
I was a single woman, 35 living in,
neighborhood with mostlyestablished families.
But I, it was just to the pointwhere I really wanted to.
I live like an established adultinstead of, like a transitory
person.
And so I, lived two houses upfrom Stephanie.
I think we'd met in passing acouple of times.
And I thought, there's clearlyan accomplished woman who I
(10:58):
would be really interested ingetting to know, but we were
both so busy that, I just didn'tget the opportunity to really
know her.
And then when I got assigned tobe her ministering sister, I was
excited.
For the opportunity to visitwith her before we got to start
to work together on thisconstruction project, we would
sit down and in Stephanie'ssitting room and visit for a
(11:19):
half an hour or so once a monthor every few weeks.
it was great to get to know her,but it was just, the
relationship still seemed very.
Formal she was somebody who Iknew and was interested in
getting to know more, hadn'tnecessarily evolved to the level
of what I would call afriendship yet.
Good point.
I agree.
I agree.
Okay.
So in my life about this timewe're having these construction
(11:44):
meetings about every two weekswith volunteers to make sure
that the construction plan isgoing as it should.
And all of a sudden, Hank, theconstruction manager who works
for commercial builders,
All right, just to be sure.
Hank is not his real name Andthat is not as actual pitcher,
(12:06):
but anyway, He's stoppedcommunication and that's very
unusual.
He's not emailing.
He's not responding to hiscalls.
He's not responding to textmessages and construction is
slowing down drastically.
we're on this tight schedule.
So this is beginning to worryme.
And the construction committeeis asking me what's going on?
(12:28):
why aren't we having thesemeetings?
Where's Hank?
And I thought, I don'tunderstand why Hank isn't
responding and a couple of weekspass and maybe the 3rd week
passes and then the coming onthe 4th week.
Suddenly get a call at the endof the week, Friday night from
Hank.
And he says to me, and he'srushed and upset on the phone,
and he says can I meet with you?
(12:49):
And I was like, oh, yes, you betyou can meet with me.
And he says right now, I waslike yes.
This is late on a Friday night.
And he comes to my office.
I'm shocked because his officeis almost an hour away, but he
must have been in the area.
He comes and he says there's aproblem.
Excelsior is way over budget.
(13:10):
I'm shocked to hear this becauseI haven't heard anything about
us being over budget.
We've only just laid thefoundation.
Everything's been going verysmoothly up to this point.
I said, where are we overbudget?
he says it's mostly withinunstable soils.
That's the majority of it.
That's worth about$250, 000approximately.
(13:35):
And I was like, What?
we paid a lot of money forengineering tests to happen
before the foundation was laid,where they drilled in to see and
make sure the soils were viable.
And so I'm confused by thisanswer of his.
then before I could say muchmore about that, he lists about.
(13:57):
Oh, six more things that we'regoing to cost and add up to the
additional total of about$565,000.
And then he says, I've got togo.
And he was very just reallyupset himself.
I don't mean he was mean, but hewas just upset.
He says, I've got something elseto attend to.
And he's out of my office.
(14:17):
And I'm left there wonderingwhat on earth just happened.
then I head home.
I'm very dismayed and I'mwondering how can I even let
this construction project goforward?
this is a 10 million project.
I'm ultimately responsible tomake sure that we're within
budget.
And we're already 120th overbudget and we're just starting.
(14:42):
What do I do?
What do I say to theconstruction committee?
And how can we be.
liable for this when it doesn'teven make sense.
So I'm feeling very burdened.
I go home and that's the stateI'm in.
Melissa, what's happening inyour life at this time?
So I was just recently marriedand busy with work and just,
(15:05):
fulfilling work obligations andgetting used to married life and
enjoying, my ministeringassignment in addition to other
things.
Okay.
Then.
I get a call from Melissa andshe's asking if she can come and
visit with me as a ministeringand sister.
And at this point I'm feelingvery overwhelmed with
(15:25):
everything.
And my first inclination is tojust politely and kindly say, I
just don't have the time, butthank you.
And I'm about to say that.
And words come to my mind verystrongly, and it's Stephanie,
(15:47):
make the time.
And I pause and say yes,Melissa, would Sunday night work
for you?
And she says, yes, Sunday nightwould work.
And so we make that appointmentshe came over Sunday night and
we're in this little sittingroom we start with just
formalities.
(16:07):
Melissa said, really ourrelationship at this time was
just friendly and more on aformal basis.
We are two professional women.
We were kind to each other, butwe didn't know each other well,
and she asked how are things atschool?
And my canned answer for peoplewhen things were hard was just,
(16:28):
oh there's always some problems,but isn't that how work is?
Who really wants to hear aboutyour work problems?
But again, in this moment.
The spirit said to me, sharewith Melissa the problems you're
having at Excelsior.
And I was rather stunned to hearthis message and humbled because
(16:54):
I thought, can I share this?
But I was like, yes, you can.
And I hesitated, but I began totell her the truth.
Of what had just happened withHank, this construction manager,
how he came in my office andquickly shared with me 565, 000
(17:17):
worth of overage to our budgetafter not speaking with me for a
few weeks.
And I didn't even know what todo, wondered if I had needed to
stop the whole constructionproject.
And Melissa, what happened fromthere?
So I remember, going in thatit's, and I had met with
Stephanie a number of timesbefore, and you could sometimes
tell when someone's tired or hasa lot on their plate, but
(17:39):
Stephanie is always very poisedand controlled and, doesn't dump
her, lay her burdens on otherpeople unnecessarily.
I just remember coming over thatevening and I could Tell
Stephanie, she just looked notwell and that something was
really bothering her.
but we didn't necessarily have arelationship personal enough,
where I thought she wouldimmediately be comfortable
(18:01):
telling me what was wrong.
And so we were, we're justvisiting and because I do
construction and, one of thethings that helped her open up a
little bit more was how thingswere going on the construction
project because I knew she wasReally excited about that
opportunity in the new school soI thought maybe i'll lighten the
mood and ask her about theconstruction project I asked her
about the construction projectand immediately sensed her
(18:23):
stiffen up and a level ofhesitancy at first she gave a
very standoffish answer But itwas clear that things were not
going well on the project partlyjust because I was curious and
partly because I actually unlikewhen people ask me questions
about their divorce or, otherthings.
I don't have value to add.
(18:43):
I thought.
If there's something going wrongon the construction process,
maybe I can set her mind at easeor help manage her expectations
on something.
And so I pushed a little bitmore, which wasn't necessarily
comfortable for me.
And I could tell Stephanie wasresisting it.
And then when I had asked hermore, she just teared up and,
just confessed that things werenot going well.
(19:04):
But I could tell she still wasvery hesitant about burdening my
time as another professionalwith the specifics of the
problem and was hesitant to makeit my problem, if that makes
sense.
And, but, as we talked, shestarted sharing more and more of
the specific details about whatwas going on the project.
(19:24):
There you go.
That's how it happened.
That's right.
I remember tearing up and Iremember feeling hesitant can I
share?
But at the same time I knew Iwas supposed to, and it was such
relief to share that with you.
It was such relief.
And then Melissa's reaction wasafter I shared what had happened
with Hank and how we're over$565,000 and Melissa's reaction
(19:51):
was, do you have theconstruction contract?
And I said yes, I have anelectronic file of it.
And I'm thinking, boy, thatthing is huge.
It was so intimidating to me.
And she said, can you send thatto me?
I said yes.
She said, send it to me firstthing in the morning.
So I did Monday morning, I sentit to her first thing and I was
(20:14):
amazed because it was maybe anhour later that I get it back
from Melissa and certainportions are yellow highlighted,
and she's Outlined whichportions that Hank has Gone
against what's the proper term?
Essentially, he was requestingcompensation that wasn't allowed
(20:37):
by the agreement.
There were certain areas of riskthat the construction company
had assumed under theconstruction contract, and he
was disregarding those andrequesting changes from the
district for what he had viewedas cost overruns.
There you go.
Those are the terms.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then she also had writtenher next suggestion that we send
(21:00):
a letter to the constructioncompany explaining that with
this contract highlighted, thatthis was the reason that we
wouldn't be responsible for allof these costs.
I was just amazed.
It was just spelled out for me,but Melissa knew we had an
attorney, right?
(21:21):
So she said, call your attorney,call Tim and share with him this
information I've given to youand ask Tim to send the letter
to commercial builders, yourcontractor.
so I did just that.
Tim just did not.
I agree with his approach.
He just thought this is all justgoing to work out.
(21:42):
Let's just all let it just shakeout.
I couldn't take that risk nordid my construction committee
agree with taking the risk oflet's just let this$565, 000
leave it hanging and just seewhat's going to happen.
No one agreed with thatapproach.
I went back to Melissa and said,Melissa.
(22:04):
Tim doesn't agree with this andMelissa, what was your
suggestion?
What do you think we should do?
And we weren't trying to set itup for an overly aggressive
posture.
The purpose of the letter was tooutline the provisions of the
contract that governed thesituations that.
They had asked for more moneyfor and to essentially provide
(22:24):
an explanation and an outline asto why those were not
Excelsior's responsibility, notin an aggressive litigious
manner, but it would be hard tohave a productive meeting with
them until they had reviewedthese provisions and remembered
what their obligations were.
So the goal of the letter was.
To outline and say, you've givenus these costs and let's go
(22:45):
through what our contract sayson those and then set it up for
a future meeting to discussthose.
But it was important to have thesubstantive discussion about who
was responsible for it.
Via contract.
Otherwise, any meeting with themwouldn't have necessarily had
the right background.
Because the constructioncontract is long, they wouldn't
(23:06):
have been in necessarily aposition to read and respond to
it during the meeting.
The letter was trying to helpgive them background on why
these weren't Excelsior'sresponsibility and try and
resolve those costs goingforward.
And also, it was important thatgiven the project was just
starting on the build side.
It wasn't only trying to solvethis specific cost issue, but
(23:29):
also to set the stage thatExcelsior expected the
contractor to hold up its end ofthe bargain for the rest of the
construction project as well.
Perfectly said.
Perfectly said.
Tim still didn't that ourattorneys said, I'm not going to
get involved in this and don'twant to do this.
So Melissa said Stephanie, yougo ahead and send the letter
(23:52):
that I've written and just signyour name.
And I thought, wait, that'sreally gracious and generous of
her.
She's done all this work andshe's saying, Stephanie, go
ahead and sign it with, as if Idid the work, but it was fine
with her.
And the construction committeeagreed to that.
And we understood the reasonsfor it.
(24:13):
By no means could we just letthis go by the wayside.
So we did just that.
I signed the letter and sent itto commercial builders.
And it was solved.
It was solved.
And I thought at that point,boy, construction builders now
understands that they betterstay right within this contract.
(24:38):
Because we have someone that'slooking carefully at the
contract, so they're now goingto stay right within the
contract and everything's goingto go along just fine.
And I thought that's how itwould go, but I was incorrect.
Unfortunately, there continuedto be one issue after another.
(24:59):
Melissa continued to ask as myfriend and ministering sister,
how are things going?
And I learned the truth is best.
I could tell Melissa.
And Melissa what was your ideathen?
So it was interesting because Icould definitely sense that
Stephanie still had, a highlevel of respect for my time and
(25:21):
a hesitation to impose on it,especially when they had, hired
attorneys, they had beenprepared on their side.
But she, I remember oneafternoon, and I don't know if
you remember this, Stephaniewhere I could tell she was
frustrated with or upset withanother issue that was eating.
Eating at her and I asked her ifshe had prayed about it and she
just said of course I have I'veprayed about it, significantly
(25:42):
and it just, I remember thinkingyou've prayed for an answer and
I'm your answer because theparticular skill set as far as
resolving those course ofconstruction issues There aren't
a lot of lawyers that specializein that and it wasn't something
that she could even go out andhire necessarily if she wanted
without Retaining a lawyer thatmay have had a conflict or
(26:02):
worked on the other side or hadthe availability to provide The
advice that she needed on thetimetable that excelsior needed
it.
So I just remember thinking thisis an opportunity to get to know
Stephanie better but also toserve her with A skill set that
I had, and I remember, thinkingthe other lady I ministered to
had four little kids, and Iremember thinking, gosh,
(26:23):
Stephanie, it's a lot easier forme to spend an hour reviewing a
construction contract than it istwo hours babysitting for little
kids, even though I did the fourlittle kids, and I thought, this
is ha.
This is what I do.
Just let me help you.
And then once we finally Ifinally got her comfortable with
the concept of letting me helpit, it blossomed into a really
productive working relationshipon that, but also the start of
(26:47):
what I view as a beautifulfriendship because, we were
doing something together andworking on solving a problem
together in, roles that we bothenjoyed mine, as a construction
lawyer and Stephanie as anadministrator.
Yes, That's true.
It's nothing like having aproblem to solve together that
can bring two people closetogether.
(27:08):
And so Melissa just said to mewhy don't you just put me on
your construction committee?
And I said, really?
You're okay with that?
And she's yes, of course, I'mokay with that.
And I'm thinking.
You work in downtown Salt Lake,my school's in Tooele, that's
really out of your way.
And she was like, I'm happy todo it.
(27:30):
And it was just that attitudethat She'd rather do that than,
watching over four kids for afew hours because it was her
specialty.
She knew what she was doing andvery few understand that area
like she does.
So she started coming to ourconstruction committee meetings.
(27:51):
It was funny because the rest ofthe committee members looked for
reasons to not come after that.
Because they were like,Melissa's here.
She's got this As just anothermember, she said, don't
introduce me as an attorney,just call me Melissa.
And I thought this is such agood example to me of a very
humble approach that Melissa hasto life.
(28:14):
She is well known inconstruction law and across this
country and she had no pretense.
She didn't need that to be knownat that point.
She was just Melissa on thiscommittee, willing to do her
part in these meetings.
And so that's what kept usgoing.
(28:35):
That's what kept us on schedule.
That's what kept commercialbuilders in line.
It kept their problems a littlemore at bay Near the end we
found there were, I think, someunderlying feelings of
frustration from Hank andMelissa, do you remember that
issue with the elevator?
(28:56):
And here we are, the building'sdone, and do you want to talk
about that?
Yeah, sometimes one of theharder things to have happen at
the end of a project is to getall of your inspections done on
the time frames because, thestate officials have Demands on
their time and you have tocoordinate with your elevator
contractor to be there for thoseinspections and there was an
(29:17):
issue with a fairly simple fixwith the elevator that had
failed inspection and we neededto have the contractor back out
when the inspector could come inorder to be able to start school
and Hank had said I've talked tothe inspector and he can't come
and tell, 10 days from now,which was a full week after
school was supposed to havestarted.
And that's the best, that we cando.
(29:37):
And so it was an opportunity.
I was able to say, okay, I don'tnecessarily know personally this
elevator company, but I knowpeople who do.
And I think we can figure outhow to get.
Some guys from the elevatorcompany out there for half an
hour for an inspection.
So it was an opportunity that Iwas able to use some of the
contacts that I had to call thecompany and explain, no, we
really need, someone to come outand do this inspection.
(29:59):
we were able to coordinate itpartly because, I was able to
put in, the additional level ofeffort that, Hank just either
wasn't capable of or wasn'twilling to put in and, by this.
point we had to almost drag himthrough the process, trying to
do it very cooperatively and, ateam oriented environment, but
he just seemed to struggle withsolving some of the basic
(30:21):
issues.
And I wasn't trying to.
Be litigious, just in asituation where we could say,
okay, what's a problem solvingapproach to this?
How can we get this done?
And help drag it through.
And we were able to get theelevator contractor out there
and get the inspection signedoff on so that school could
start.
That's right.
It was such an incredibly,important moment for us because
(30:43):
a very large community, anExcelsior community was
depending on school startingthat day as planned on the
school calendar.
It wasn't just the middle schoolstudents, but all of the
students of Excelsior because ifthe middle school students
couldn't start, neither couldtheir younger siblings at the
elementary school.
So it affected about 1150students and all of their
(31:04):
families.
It was because Melissa'swillingness to answer the call
as a ministering sister and giveof her time again, all as a
volunteer to make it happen, totalk to all of those
subcontractors, get thatelevator guy, I'll just call him
the guy, out there, thatelevator inspection completed,
(31:24):
and qualified so we could indeedget inside the building and
start school on the day that itwas supposed to start.
It meant the world to me as anadministrator and to the
community at Excelsior.
It was just a miracle myviewpoint.
And it all came from Melissa'sjust really calm and willing
(31:48):
attitude to fulfill her callingas ministering sister.
So I was eternally grateful forher willingness.
I think sometimes when we talkabout, ministering sisters and
ministering assignments, wethink of the benefit that, that,
say the Stephanie in thissituation, receives as the
result ministering sister.
(32:09):
But it was really an incredibleblessing for me.
Because I was able to give someservice that I felt made a
difference doing something thatI do that was you know, I mean
it's going to the weeklyconstruction meetings was
definitely an effort but I wasable to get the blessings in my
life at a time when you know Ifelt like I needed them of being
(32:30):
able to give that service andthen the enduring blessing of
having a beautiful friendshipbloom out of it.
And it was really ended up beinga very fulfilling process for me
to be able to be involved, tofeel like I had given something
and created something and to getto know Stephanie as a friend.
Yes, that's so true.
(32:51):
it came from first of all.
From my perspective, learninghow to share hard things with
those that are wanting sincerelyto help.
That's where it started.
I had to learn that I had to letgo of my pride and listen to the
Spirit and be willing to sharesomething that was
(33:12):
uncomfortable.
I had to show this beautifulwoman that my life was not
perfect.
My life had problems and Iwasn't handling it well.
I didn't know how to handle it.
And Boy, I might even cry aboutit I think clearly in this
situation Like I had asked herStephanie clearly had the faith
(33:33):
to be able to pray for an answerBut the harder part sometimes
when you are a strong andcapable woman is to have the
humility to accept the help whenit comes And I had no doubt that
I was the answer to Stephanie'sprayer, but it's not always
comfortable to ask somebody elseto help you because you feel
like you're being a burden orlike you're intruding upon them.
(33:54):
And to me, it was, a reminderthat sometimes, when we're the
person who's being served, thefaith to ask for help doesn't
necessarily Give us a lot,unless we have the humility to
be able to, accept the answer tothe prayer that comes.
Yes, That's right.
Unless we have the humility toaccept that help.
That's right.
(34:14):
Which isn't always, acomfortable position to be in.
I know that especiallybalancing, twins after they were
first born, I'd have people whowould call and say, what can I
help you with?
And I remember thinking, I'mfine.
But then I'm going, but I'm not,I can't use, someone to go pick
up a couple gallons of milk atthe store or little things.
And so this year, especially notas much now, I feel like I'm
emerging from it, but the firstfew weeks and months of having
(34:37):
newborn twins and a very activeopinionated three year olds was
definitely an exercise for me inlearning to accept service.
And I found that as I did learnto accept that service and
actually articulate some of thethings that I did need people to
help me with, that I could feelblessings flow into my life as a
result of that.
Yes.
Because Heavenly Father wants,to do his work, but he wants to
(35:01):
do it through us.
And so we need to allow him todo just that by allowing
ourselves to be helped by oneanother.
Exactly,
In the end, Excelsior showed ourgratitude towards Melissa for
her many months of volunteerwork.
By dedicating a classroom toher, we made it the Melissa
(35:25):
Withy Classroom.
We had a big assembly with a few student
performances and we had Melissaspeak.
And at the end, the teachers gotto meet Melissa.
And this is when we dedicatedthe classroom.
We put up a sign that said,Melissa, Withy classroom.
(36:10):
That's one way Excelsior gaveback and remembered Melissa
Withy, and her effort.
On our behalf.
Melissa, was there anything elsethat comes to your mind about
this experience that you'd liketo share?
Just again, that I thought, whata coincidence that probably the
only person who I have ever orwill ever, meet in Relief
(36:32):
Society has Construction projectchallenge.
That's, and I don't doresidential construction.
I do large commercial projects.
And so what is just interestingto me as another example of how
the Lord is in the details ofour life that I had been
assigned to minister toStephanie during the exact time
that she was having, a challengethat not only was I uniquely
(36:53):
able to help with it, it washelped that she wouldn't be able
to readily find it any placeelse, even in the local legal
market.
And so it was a neat experiencefor me to remember that not only
was the Lord in the details ofStephanie's life, that he was in
the details of my life byhelping make this ministering
assignment.
Yes, it's exactly right.
(37:13):
Melissa.
It's good to hear how the Lordwas also in the detail of your
life.
something else has come to mymind I covered it in episode 10,
the prodigal daughter.
it's an offshoot of this storyfrom that.
We became friends and Melissamoved to Virginia and then later
(37:35):
my daughter Savannah moved toWashington D.
C.
in the district area and she washaving a baby and I couldn't get
there because Richard wasquarantined and it was Melissa
that was there for Savannah.
Do you remember that Melissa?
I do.
And it was during COVID, becausethey were quarantined.
(37:56):
I had been new to Virginia, wedidn't have the opportunity to
make a lot of friends, peopleweren't really reaching out.
And we were a little bit lonely.
At this point, my daughter wasjust over a year old.
And we didn't know a lot ofpeople.
we got to meet Savannah and Sam,who were in a similar situation.
we'd gotten together with them acouple times before.
I remember getting a call fromSavannah one evening saying,
(38:17):
I've gone into labor early I wasable to meet her and her husband
at the hospital and take Eliza,their three year old for a
couple of days.
And so it was fun to have thatintroduction, be able to breed
more friends along the way.
Yes.
That's exactly what it did.
It did bring more friendshipsbetween you and Savannah and Sam
(38:37):
and James and all of us and theblessing that Melissa has been
in my life again and mychildren's lives and
grandchildren's lives allbecause of that initial calling
as a ministering sister and mylesson in learning how to share
your problems.
even if it's hard and a littleembarrassing to admit, so you
(39:00):
have problems and there'ssomeone here to help you.
And that's the way the Lordwants it.
He wants you to be helped.
He wants you to learn how to behelped.
He wants to serve you and hewants to do it through your
friend.
She's here to serve you.
Melissa.
Did you have a scripture thatrelated to this story that you
(39:21):
wanted to share?
the one that came to mind that I've, really
embraced a lot over probably thelast 10 years of my life, I
think fits perfectly.
So it's in first Nephi chapter17, when Nephi is talking about
the challenges of having to livein the wilderness for the last
eight years.
and the way that he.
Recounts those is, he says, sogreat were the blessings of the
(39:43):
Lord that while they had rawmeat in the wilderness, their
women were able to have strengthto bear children and to nurse in
the wilderness.
And they were able to see thecommandments of God be
fulfilled.
And then, in verse three, itcontinues the commandments of
God.
He does nourish them andstrengthen them and provide
means whereby they canaccomplish the thing which he
has commanded.
Wherefore, he did provide meansfor us while we did sojourn in
(40:05):
the wilderness.
And I think I've read thatscripture when I remember
thinking, gosh, that's ablessing I want.
I don't want to be living in thewilderness and eating raw meat
and then all of a sudden bestrong enough to bear and rear
children in the wilderness.
I don't want to be in thewilderness to begin with.
I want my meat to be cooked.
And I think so often that whenwe have a problem, we pray to
(40:27):
the Lord to take the challengeaway.
But the blessing that the Lordgenerally wants to provide is to
give us the strength to be ableto overcome that challenge.
And so trying to remember thatwhen I do come upon challenges
and hard things, To have myinclination not to be this isn't
fair, Lord, please take thischallenge away from me, but that
(40:48):
if I pray for help and strengthto be able to overcome the
challenge, that's when theenabling power of the atonement
can operate in our lives.
and that we can receive thestrength and the peace and the
reassurance to overcome thechallenges that are in our life,
no matter how difficult they maybe.
I love that scripture because,it reminds us as to what the
(41:11):
promise of obedience is.
The promise of discipleship isnot that we won't have
challenges.
The promise of discipleship isthat we will have the enabling
power of the atonement tostrengthen us and bring peace in
our lives, no matter howoverwhelming the challenges that
we do face in this life.
In fact, we are promised we willreceive challenges and there
(41:35):
will be opposition in allthings.
So thinking that if we keepcommandments, we should avoid
challenges, we're just going tomake ourselves really frustrated
because we are going to havechallenges in life.
That's the whole purpose of whywe're here.
But what we're promised is peaceand strength and the power to
overcome and to grow in theprocess.
Yes.
(41:55):
Yes.
Those challenges are part of ournecessary part of our exalted
existence.
Just Joseph Smith in prison,just like Joseph of Egypt.
As a slave and in prison, wemust have those challenges and
they, it's not just for ourexalted existence, but for the
influence that has on thosearound us for generations to
(42:19):
come.
That was beautiful.
Melissa.
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing thatscripture with us Melissa, it's
been a joy having you.
Thank you for joining me..
I've enjoyed it.
and fun that we ended up colorcoordinated
Stephanie Eccles's video reco (42:36):
I want to thank Melissa with you
for joining me today and sharingthe story together.
And thank Melissa for helpingExcelsior academy, complete
their middle school on budgetand on time.
I also want to thank my HeavenlyFather for blessing me.
With Melissa Withy, as aministering and sister.
(42:59):
you had an experience where youhave felt the hand of your
Father and heaven in your life?
Or perhaps a family member'slife.
If you have reach out to me.
I would like to help you sharethat story.
You can find
me atdeardaughterstalk@gmail.com.
Stephanie Eccles's video rec (43:19):
Or on YouTube and leave a comment
and we'll start to communicatethat way.
Some of you have asked from mydaughter, Savannah Johnston.
Who was on episode six.
Called going forward with thefaith.
You can find Savannah.
On Savypolitics.
Savypolitics is in two places,both on YouTube.
(43:40):
And on Instagram, she would loveto hear from you.
For now I will say for well,until we meet again.
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