#164 - Making Mom Friends: Challenges and Opportunities (with Alex Reed)

New parenthood can be isolating and full of unspoken (or spoken!) pressures. But those early years are not only about the challenges. There are opportunities too! For one, being at a drastically new stage of life is a common time for making friends who are going through similar experiences. I spoke to Alex Reed, a new-ish mom (at least compared to me--a mom for two decades), a tech-industry pro, and the creator behind Roses & Radicchio, an Instagram account and newsletter that celebrates connections that make life meaningful.

Alex and I discussed:

• Practical ways to meet other moms
• Why community is one of the most protective things for perinatal and postpartum mental health
• Staying part of a community matters, even if your close friends do not come from these groups and activities. Acquaintances can become friends, connectors, or lifelines later (school, camps, emergencies).
• Using small, low-cost asks when you spot a potential new mom friend: “I’m going to the park tomorrow, want to join?” Short time windows might feel more doable.
• How to spot a new-mom-friend judgement issue early and stop the comparison cycle
• Accepting different parenting and new-parent socializing styles (turning outward for a bigger network vs turning inward to a small circle)
• The importance of keeping connections with friends who do not have kids
• Remembering social media can amplify shame and false “shoulds”
• AND NOTE: If you’re struggling, community helps but professional support is so important. If you’re worried about postpartum depression or anxiety, seek help.

This isn’t a “you must do X” to make new mom friends conversation. This is all about advice and empathy for a potentially lonely season of life.

 

LINKS & RESOURCES:

• Roses & Radicchio--Alex's Instagram account and newsletter
• A few other parenting episodes on DEAR NINA (mostly aimed at parents with teens): #2. When Your Friend’s Kid is Being Mean to Your Kid; #59. Difficult Teen Friendships & Parent Involvement; #86. Every Friendship Starts With an Act of Bravery; #91. Helping Kids Manage Conflict With Friends; #59. Teaching Kindness Without Forcing Friendships
• Modern Friendship by Anna Goldfarb is a book Alex and I both loved. Anna was also featured on several episodes of Dear Nina, most recently #126.
• "The Search for the Perfect Stroller is Really a Search for Control" (I first had this published in Brain, Child Magazine in 2015 and later re-published in Scary Mommy in 2021.)
• The Peanut app

 

MEET ALEX REED:

Alex is a gathering enthusiast, photographer, tech professional, and toddler mom who brings creativity and connection into everyday life. Outside her day job at a Fortune 50, she runs Roses & Radicchio, a lifestyle Instagram and Substack where she shares approachable tips for elevated entertaining, vintage treasure hunts, food and flower creations, and current reads. Passionate about conversations around adult female friendships, Alex uses her platform to celebrate the connections that make life meaningful. She lives in Northern Virginia, just outside Washington, D.C., with her husband, energetic toddler, and their allergy-prone French bulldog.