July 15, 2024 • 46 mins
On this episode, I sit down with my good friend and mentor Jim Harshaw Jr to discuss how to build a framework for success. Jim is a former Division 1 All-American Wrestler at UVA, was the youngest Division 1 wrestling coach in history, and the host of the “Success for the Athletic-Minded Man” podcast. …
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome back to Dear Rochester
Retire well. Here's your host, Dave Po,
cf.
Welcome back folks to d rochester retire while.
We're here with Jim Harsh Junior. Jim is
a repeat guest. Jim, you you're on all
the way back in episode 25, I believe
(00:20):
it was. Dang. Which was early
what what you were on right now?
This should be a round number 85.
Wow. So, yeah. It depends on the production
outlet fun stuff is done. But Yeah. For
the folks that miss that 1. I'm not
gonna read the mile long bio that we
did last time, because last time I read
it way too long and you said that
doesn't even sound like me. So we'll make
(00:42):
it quick.
So folks, if you don't know Jim, and
we'll get to the end and how you
it find Jim and and and search him,
but Jim is an Nc double division 1
All American wrestler. We can't see the Cauliflower
ear due to headphones on the podcast, Jim.
Do you do you just get special headphones?
Well, ear earbuds, like regular iphone, earbuds don't
(01:03):
fit in my ears. I would love to
get airpods, but they don't make them for
people with my condition.
The good old color. It sounds like a
a market to be tapped. Yeah. Right. Jim
is a former Nc double division 1 head
coach. Where weren't you the youngest coach?
I was the youngest divisional on head and
coach in the country at the time, which
just means That was simply the most unprepared,
(01:24):
you know,
Guy who messed up the most. So, yes.
I of was the youngest division had us
coach in the country. Alright. On the opposite
side to screw it up, Jim is an
inter...
Internationally recognized tedx x speaker, which which I
wanna I want you to share how people
can find that because it's a really good
1 about kids in failure.
Jim's is a personal,
performance coach. That's how I know Jim. And
(01:45):
host of the
podcast with how many episodes you have now?
You've hundred 4 4 70 something for 84
70 something right now? Yeah. Yeah. And it's
say it's ke success for the athletic minded
man. And it If people search that, will
they find the success through failure podcast. Yep.
Yep. So so it was called success through
failure for years.
(02:06):
So if you just Google 6... Us for
through failure, You'll find that as well. So
we just changed made the... The name change.
Same
subscription, same podcast, basically same feed.
We made that name change, 01/01/2024.
Awesome. Can I ask you something that people
probably have not asked you before?
You're ready hear it. Lay it on me.
(02:27):
Jim, who are you gonna vote for in
this year's presidential presidential election?
If there's AACA
option c
I would much rather vote for option c.
But
he's sounds familiar, Jim. You don't actually have
to answer that.
The.
I I hate politics.
And I think Paul, yeah. I I think
Guy we could do a whole episode. And
(02:47):
actually might do a whole episode on on
the psychology of politics. I believe. Yes. I
believe we vote more for
our tribe, then we do our values. I
think people don't understand the other side well.
And and if you can't,
If you can't
explain
the other side's position in why they feel
that way,
(03:08):
then
you're not really trying to pay attention. Most
people get their news all from Cnn or
all from Fox and they're just getting
half truths...
Biased,
facts, and they're not really listening, and and
I really wish we would do that more
in this world.
I
I I'm I'm relatively new to Facebook due
to our social media team, Jim as you
(03:30):
know, and I I rarely go on there,
but, I'm I'm scrolling through. And I had
a lot of connections that I feel like,
folks that I went to, like, high school
with or something.
Like, we're... Have been waiting for people in
their class to hop on face because the
second I got out. It was like, a
thousand invites whatever. Of course. So so I
accept them. And what I see is book
There are people that spends... So... This is
(03:51):
not the direction I wanna go with. We'll
get into the actual stuff in a second.
But I see
so many people
that, like, live
to...
What does it put down or sn, the
president that... That... That's not their guy in
this election. Right? Yeah. And it's like,
there's like, 1 specific person I'm thinking of,
and if he sees this. I don't want
(04:12):
him know him, but it's like,
every 20 minutes, there's an, Donald Trump post
about how horrible he is. And that's fine.
If you... Whatever.
That's is what it is, whatever.
But I'm more thinking like, man,
That that guy is so in your head.
You're letting him do this to you. Right.
Like, you hate him that much.
He's owning you right now. Right? And it's
(04:34):
the same for the other side. Like... Yeah.
The the the Biden the people that post
all the bad stuff about president Biden. Right?
Like... So...
Totally get it, man. So let's let's actually
get into the the stuff I wanted to
talk about right now. Yeah. Good. So
you... You're you're a coach. A performance coach
for a lot of successful folks.
And
you've been doing it for a long time,
(04:54):
and, obviously, with your roots of a, being
the wrestling coach and and all the other
stuff you've done.
I wanted to get into, like, what is
an issue
that folks are facing right now.
Successful. You've all the way across the spectrum,
like, what do you see that folks have
in common that they're struggling with right now.
People
are so busy
(05:16):
and so
overwhelmed
that they don't have time to figure out
what's next. They know that they want
clarity on what's next for them.
And they are so busy and overwhelmed and
consumed with the min inertia of the day
to day of their work and of all
the things that are pulling them in a
million different directions, and they feel like they're
(05:37):
going a hundred miles an hour all day
long, getting a hundred things done. But at
the end of the day, they don't even
feel like they've moved the needle in their
lives And so they're looking for that clarity
around what's next but they're... They don't have
a framework to figure it out.
And so they just stay busy on the
treadmill and and on the treadmill of life,
(05:58):
and and if they have a free moment,
they wasted on social media, selling through social
media and scrolling and
burning time.
So
how do you overcome that?
There's there's a single concept.
That I've boiled success down to. And and
nobody's talking about this. Nobody...
(06:20):
You know, broadly, I've I've never heard anybody
talk about this.
This concept. And and the first several hundred
episodes of my podcast. I was interviewing, you
know, Navy Seal, Olympic medal lists and Ceos.
New York Times is best selling authors etcetera,
etcetera. No I Would always ask them, what
is 1 habit the you most credit for
your success. And you would think for the
New york Time is selling off they would
tell you some kind of writing habit. You
(06:41):
would think that for the Olympic Gold Medal
list, they would tell you some kind of
training habit, but it was never that. It
was always... That some version of...
They might say, well, at the beginning of
every day,
I I sit down, and I make a
plan for my day and how I'm gonna
win the day. Or
before
before the the season, the competition season for
(07:02):
for an athlete,
I sit down with my coaches. We make
a plan, and we plan out, you know,
the season and my training and what I'm
gonna work on, etcetera. So it's it's always
some version of stepping back, stepping out of
the rat race stopping what I'm doing, not
doing the thing, but actually hitting the pause
button.
Asking questions
might be through journal, might be through soup
(07:24):
through planning, might be working with a coach.
But asking questions,
so that they can get the thing that
I said there that everybody wants,
clarity of action,
and the other thing is people want is
peace of mind. And so I've coined to
term for this this concept this this pause,
and I call it the productive
pause. And the productive pause is to defined
as this. It's a short period of focus
(07:46):
reflection around specific questions
that leads to clarity of action and peace
of mind.
Clarity of action peace of mind. Like, that
is what everybody wants? We don't wanna know.
Am I doing the right thing? Like, what
are the right things to do? Are they
the right things
if if so, I could put my head
on the pillow at night and and fall
asleep, and and I'm not gonna be
(08:07):
up all night, you know,
with my my mind going in my I
you. Forget something in am my, you know,
I I got a million things on my
plate to do tomorrow? Am I doing the
right thing. Most people end up digging their
hole in the wrong spot. Right They they
they lift their heads up every once wanted,
and they look around. They go,
this is not where I thought I would
be in life right now.
I thought I thought I'd be maybe making
(08:29):
more money or my marriage will be better
or my health and fitness would be better.
And
and what do they do? The they don't
know how to do the productive pause. So
they put their head back down and they
just work harder. And hard work is not
the answer.
You talked to, I how how many... If
you ask a hundred people on the street,
or you do your work hard a hundred
(08:50):
ton people would tell you I work hard.
Right? And and it's the truth. Listen.
Listeners of this podcast,
they're they're generally hardworking people. Like, you're busy,
you're working hard. So if if everybody is
doing that, but some are getting further ahead
than others.
Hard work is not the ingredient. It's it's
it's a required ingredient for That's. Absolutely. I
mean, there's a lot of sort of required
(09:11):
ingredients.
But the differentiator
is people who stop, step back work with
a coach, have a a mindfulness practice like
journal or meditation, and they get that clarity
of action to peace of mind. Then they
engage. When I was wrestling at Uv
in order for me to become an all
American,
(09:32):
I had to do a productive pause. The
the most valuable time that I ever spent
in my entire athletic career was that 1
hour
before the season started. When my coaches would
call me in, and we would have coaches
meeting and me and the coaches, the head
coach and the assistant coaches. We talk about,
you know, what weight class you're gonna wrestle
and what tournaments are we gonna, you know,
go to and what come tensions we wanna
(09:52):
make sure we get and and hit for
you and what are the weaknesses and strengths
and all this, you know, all day make
a plan.
And because we stopped
wasn't training. I wasn't practicing moves. Or wasn't
it watching film wasn't in the wait room,
but that 1 hour that paused
Those questions led to clarity of action, peace
of mind,
(10:12):
execution, anything that you want for the listener
I'm talking to a listener right now. Anything
that you want in life.
Is going to be more possible
because you stop. Not despite the pause, but
because of the pause, Like, you say, you
know, Jim, that that pause isn't more important
than going to church or spending time with
my wife or spending time with my kids
or working out or getting that that that
(10:34):
project done at work to get the promotion
so I can make more money and pay
off my dad or whatever. No. It is
more important than all of that. Because when
you pause,
all of that
becomes
more doable. I just I just had coffee
with my pastor from my church this morning.
Put him back, put him out of the
weeds. We zoomed out. Okay. What are we
working on? We got clarity. He got clarity.
(10:56):
We identified his goals, his micro goals. Now
he's off. Off and running and and he's
gonna execute better
because of that pause.
How do you... I think back to, like,
when I was a new financial adviser, or
I have friends that are starting a business.
And they're in the absolute grind,
and you know what I'm talking about. Yeah.
(11:17):
I mean, Do they have to get up
at 2 in the morning to have a
productive pause because they're looking for the next
client, the next customer, the next sale, whatever
it might be. How how to
you literally have to force yourself. How do
how do you make that happen? Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, I that's... That is the conundrum.
People are get listening is going. Jim, And
that sounds great. But I'm not in that
place in my career right now. I'm not
(11:38):
in that place. I'm like, right now, I
am noticed to the grinds zone. I've... I'm
building a business
I'm, you know, I'm an entrepreneur and I've
kids, and I have whatever else I'm trying
to, you know, I've got these different things
pulling my life, like, I get it. I
have 4 kids. I have my own business.
My wife works.
We've got an alien family member that we're...
This consuming a lot of time for us.
(11:59):
I mean,
kids in all kinds of different sports and
activities and on, like, I a hundred percent
get I can relate.
I had a business
this business on the side when I was
working full time,
working nights and weekends, traveling all of that,
but you still have to find a way
to pause. And and listen, you know, a
(12:19):
great question, Dave, Like, is it how, you
know, do To get up at 2 in
the morning to do this. You can simply
do this. If you're saying, okay, Jim. What's
the what's the quick action item here. The
quick action item is this? I'll, give you
here here's my here's my morning routine?
When I sit down at my desk,
I have a journal and and for those
watching the video, not listening just the audio
if you're watching on Youtube, I'm holding up
my journal, and and every morning,
(12:41):
Know listen, I don't do this every morning.
I'm not perfect.
But I do this... I do believe there's
a point of diminishing returns for some habit.
Right? Like working out every day. I don't
work out every day. I work out 3
to 5 days a week. But and for
this, I do this about 4 days a
week probably.
And, some days 5, some weeks 5, some
weeks 3. But I simply write write out
3 things in the morning. Number 1, What
(13:02):
am I grateful for? 3 things I'm grateful
for. Like just 3 gratitude puts my mind
in the right spot. Number 2, what are
3 things I'm gonna do today to make
it a great day. Like, what do I
have to do to make it a great
day. Just quick and easy,
sort of clarity of action for the day,
and then I do 3 affirmations through 3
things,
positive mindset thing. I do a couple other,
like, little
(13:23):
I review my micro goals and review my
my my vision for my life. But if
you just
if you just simply... If you only did
this, If you took out a posted note,
Turn it away from your computer and before
you turn on your email or everything. If
you simply only wrote out what are the
3 things I'm gonna write I'm gonna Gonna
I gotta do to win the day today.
If that's all you did,
you'll find peace.
(13:44):
You'll find clarity,
you'll execute at a higher level. That is
the minimum minimum effective dose of a of
a productive pause. But start there. And then,
you know, as you know, Dave, like, you
know, working with the coach and working with
the,
someone who has a framework to help you
stop, you know,
pull back maybe once a month
(14:05):
for maybe a half an hour to an
hour or even on a long, you know,
on once a year for a couple of
hours and really evaluate the year before, plan
for the year. Had there are different levels
of productive pause. But every day, you should
have 1 that's at least a couple of
minutes.
Know, monthly at least 30 minutes to an
hour, and then annually
2 to 4 hours. I typically do about
(14:25):
a 5 hour productive pause annually.
So
there's so much there.
For the for the listeners out there,
I caught the fact that you said, this
was your side hustle before. Yeah.
And you were working full time doing something
else. So there are a lot of folks
out there that
unfortunately, don't want to be doing what they
(14:46):
are doing.
So how do they go from what they
are doing
just like you did to what you love?
And then I wanna jump into the framework
that you talked about? And I wanna talk
about, I let me forget. I wanna talk
about the focus that
as a wrestler. Right? You were focused on
the 1 thing. And then as we get
older, other things pop up. But but first,
how do you go from the full time
(15:07):
job that you may you may not love,
and it you it may not be your
passion to
what you truly wanna do. Yeah. It's a
great question.
So my my job when I was working
full time was to be honest it was
my dream job. I was a fundraiser, major
gift fundraiser for the athletic department at My
Alma mater. I was a wrestler there... You
know, I got to raise money for a
(15:28):
football and Basketball and wrestling and lacrosse and
soccer and all these great sports is, you
know, 1 of the best athletic departments in
the. We finished fifth and the director's cup...
Just a couple weeks ago, the final standings
came out. Like,
so passionate about... I'm so passionate about athletes
athletics of my my Alma water and especially
wrestling of course. So I was whining and
dining, like wealthy people and they got a,
expense account, I talked line on the Uv
(15:49):
private jet, and all these... I mean, it's
just such a, you know, behind the scenes
with, you know,
power 5 football getting on the sidelines so
much fun. So much when. Cut go to
the final 4 and watch my Alma mater,
you know, win the National championship in 2019,
and it was all paid for. Right? It
was, like, of aa. Everybody this is a
vacation for people I'm like,
this to not at the office.
I had my dream job.
(16:10):
And so for me to actually have to
dedicate
time to creating my dream business. It was
even harder than I I wasn't driven by
some, like, I hate my job. So if
you have that going for you, like, Like,
count that as a positive. Like, don't count
that like, oh, well, you know, I hate
my job and it's hard for me to
get motivated to build. So side, no, Got
you got extra extra, like, fuel for your
fire. So
(16:31):
I was working nights and weekends. At least
60 hours week, you know, I was traveling,
etcetera.
Have family of 4, you know, 4 kids,
I should say, you know, my wife and
I 4 kids, family of 6.
You have to find a way
to carve out to time. And how did
I do this? I started waking up earlier.
If you wake up, if you wake up
earlier,
(16:51):
1 day
or 1 hour per day
for a year. It is...
This math sounds wrong.
But it is right. Look this up. 09:40
hour work weeks.
09:40 hour work weeks, 1
hour a day K, 1 hour a day,
so I gained myself that 1 hour so
wake up 1 hour earlier, I'm not a
(17:12):
morning person, but I started waking up early.
And
so when did you cut back on Jim?
I cut back on my workouts. Right? Minimum
effective both of my workouts. And so I
cut my workouts back to...
My last year working full time. My goal
is 300 workouts that year, but I would
I would include these 10 minute hit workouts
I would I would do. Right? So I
I minimize that to the minimum effective dose.
(17:32):
You know I doing like, 3 sets of
push ups, 3 sets of burp, 3 sets
of set, 3 sets of pull ups. So
boom. 10 minutes done. Let's get to work.
Let's get to my business so I'd about
an hour to an hour and a half
in the morning to work on my business.
And
and, you know, you find time. Right? You're...
You know, I would take coaching calls when
I was driving... I'd be driving down the
road to an appointment. And, like, I I
would do a coaching call. Would do a
(17:54):
coaching. Hold on. Like, you have the time.
It's there. You just have to stop wasting
it on
Netflix or scrolling through social media or any
of the other things that we we waste
our time and energy on. And so, you
know, what does that look like for you?
So... Okay. So there's that. Right? There... There...
There's... You do have the time. It's not
(18:14):
that I don't have the time. You hear
here's an empowering thought for the listener.
Stop saying I don't have time.
And start saying,
I just have not prioritized it. And it's
the truth. You might say, well, that's Bs
s shit. I actually don't have time. No.
No. You're prioritizing
something else. And listen. It might might be
you might be prioritizing work workout. So you
(18:35):
might be prioritizing sleep or you might be
prioritizing,
spending time with your kids. That's great. I'm
not saying you're you're prioritizing it something else
bad over it. I'm just saying, you choose
you're making a choice to prioritize
your marriage, your faith, etcetera over it. That's
good. That's that's great. Keep prioritizing those things.
What I'm saying is are are there things
(18:56):
in there that you're prioritizing? Maybe watching the
football game on Sundays.
That you're choosing to prioritize
over
building your business over investing time in. I
don't know losing working out losing the 10
pounds that you wanna whatever it is. If
you simply say I'm prioritizing other things, and
some of those are good and some of
those are not so good,
then that is an an empowering thought.
(19:18):
Okay. So let's put a pin in that.
So you've gotta find the time. You do
have the time. You're just prioritizing something else
so that that's okay, but you have to
figure out maybe what you can prioritize
bump down the list, so you can bump
this up.
Before you do that though,
actually, maybe maybe with the time that you
gain,
You have to figure out what is the
vision for my life? Like, what is it
(19:40):
that I'm actually motivated to build? Right? Is
it a side hustle? Is it, a new
skill so I can get the promotion that
I want? Is it a new skill so
I can and maybe it's a couple classes
that's and at back in College and, you
can get a different degree and, like, my
wife did a few years ago, and she
got a different degree and changed careers.
From a licensed counselor to a school counselor.
(20:02):
And so she has summers off. And so
she made that choice. Right? You have to
first stop
and figure out what what what is it?
That you ate the want? Like, are you
going... If you're gonna dig your hole,
dig the hole in the right spot?
That requires you stepping back and crafting out
what does my ideal day look like.
(20:23):
And listen, you have to take the guard
rails off. This can't be like, yeah. It's
kinda like, doing a little bit of what
I'm doing now, but just like a little
bit better. No. No. That's not what we're
talking about. We're saying,
If you had a magic wand,
what would my... What would your life look
like? That is the vision. That is exciting.
Right And and listen, it's not gonna be
sipping my ties on the beach because you're
gonna get bored that in a a day
(20:44):
or a week. Like,
it is some different version of life that
is... Above what you're living right now. Maybe
it's more balanced, Maybe you're working out more,
maybe you're making twice as much money. Maybe
you have a a, business, maybe you're Ceo,
and maybe you're in a different role.
Maybe you're...
I don't know. Maybe you're an author. Maybe
(21:04):
whatever that is for you,
it's critical that you identify that so that
when you wake up in the morning, you
get that extra hour, you're you're finding time
in your day, you know
what you're doing
during those times.
How... Okay. So go going back to the
framework I'm making that happen because this is
what you do as a coach.
(21:27):
You go from and, again, the listeners know
that said especially if they ever played any
high school
or C sports. Right? There there was the
framework. There was a system. You followed that.
You had the nutrition. You you had all
the stuff.
Then you get out of the real world.
Right? And then then
especially after you you get married have children.
That changes everything.
(21:49):
No. How how do you take that step
back? I know it's a productive pause, but
what is the framework that you've designed to
help people do that? And then I wanted
to ask you too, and I know I'm
asking 2 questions at the time now, but
the... When you're in the middle of that,
because I I get this a lot from
different people.
You're in the middle of
your dream job,
which it must have been a real calling
(22:09):
for you to do this to leave a
dream job to become a personal performer coach
because that most people are gonna hear that?
And, like, why why would you ever wanna
leave to go do that? U.
But you're you're doing all those things at
once and you have 4 kids. It's like,
was how how did your wife handle that?
When you're...
Because I get it, man. Like, you're you're
so focused on that thing
(22:30):
and made maybe they get it, Maybe they
don't. But how do you communicate that with
your spouse? Yeah. So framework and then how
do communicate that to your spouse? Okay. And
then Stop. Great. Great. Great. So, the framework
is this.
For if for anybody who's listening, if you
were ever an athlete high school
elementary doesn't matter. Like, at any level,
(22:51):
if you were ever,
maybe part of... You you played an instrument
maybe you were in the military, anything like
that.
There's there's a level of clarity that comes
with those roles.
And I'll be honest, there's a level of
clarity that comes with our lives up until
we hit. I don't know maybe 35 years
(23:11):
old or so. Right? We... There's there's you
graduate high school and then you're supposed to
go to college, and you go to college
and then you're supposed to get your first
job and you buy the car and you
buy the house and you get married in
the kids and, there are these sort of
checklist that we feel like we're sort supposed
to do that society sort of, you know,
put upon us Right And not everybody has
that same path. And, and went up. But
but generally speaking, that is kind of what
(23:33):
you're supposed quote unquote supposed to do in
America. And
you get to a certain point
And, you know, in the mid thirties or
so, maybe
some see people are earlier or some people
a little later, where you go, okay. I've
checked all these boxes.
And now what? Like, that's the end of
the map. The roadmap ends there.
(23:53):
And
the rest of it, you...
It's like, like okay. There's there's no...
There's no plan here. Right? Like, what do
I do now? And that's where that sort
of midlife crisis comes along that's where people
kinda get to that point where they go
Now, I've got more potential. I know there's
more in the tank.
I I wanna get to that next thing.
We honest I don't even know what that
next thing is. And don't even have the
(24:14):
framework to figure with that out... Figure out
what that is. And and to be honest,
I'm too busy. I don't even have the
time to do it even, you know, to
figure out what that is, because I'm so
busy. Right? So the framework is this.
When you were competing as an athlete when
you were in the military or or in
some sort of
infrastructure environment like that, there's a level of
clarity that comes in. Is an athlete
(24:36):
very clear. When
we we know what success looks like. It's
winning the, you know, making the starting lineup
up, winning the game, winning the match, winning
the competition, you know, make into the posts
season being on the top of the podium,
all of that. Very clear.
Black and white.
We get out here in the real world.
It's not. It's just, you know, they're, you
always scroll through social media or drive down
(24:56):
your road or talk to some friends and
you you'll see there's a hundred different ways
that success can look like. And so
first, we have to go, what is what
is What is the vision for my life
their aligns with me? Like, what is the
vision that is exciting to me? Now what
society tells me I should want?
But what is actually exciting to me? So
this is the first part that you have
to do, and this is what what high
(25:18):
performing athlete tab Right? You think of... You
know, the best athletes in the world. I
mean, it's very clear what success looks like.
It's the championship
at the end of the year. And and
and so that's the first part.
Vision, and then 1 of the underlying core
values under that. Right? That's step 1 of
a 4 step framework. Step 1 of this
vision, and under extracting what are the core
(25:39):
values from that. Right? We have a process
for this, of course, as you know. And
then the second part is we have to
create goals that align with that vision, goals
that align with that values. Not goals that
align with what my parents want for me
or what social media tells me I should
to want or not be not basing your
goals based on what's parked in your neighbor's
driveway.
Basing your goals, aligning your goals,
(26:00):
t your goals to
your vision for your life and what your
core values are. Now you referenced something earlier
that said about, like, this sort of single
minded focus of an athlete. When I was
An athlete, it was single minded folk. It
was really about wrestling. Everything else was secondary.
Right?
Academics I'll be blunt,
academics was was secondary. I mean, I went
(26:21):
to a great school the number 1 public
school in the country and got good grades
and, you know, 4 and grad school, etcetera,
etcetera. But, like, That was all secondary. Social
life. Secondary.
I had a single bonded focus.
Out here in the real world, we can't
afford that. Right? We have...
Relationships, we have family.
We have health and wellness. We have to
pay attention to, and we have our career
(26:42):
or our wealth, our income, or business. So
we set goals in 4 different areas,
Relationships,
self,
health and wealth. Right? So we have that
very clear framework.
That is different than say the athlete or
someone who, you know, played an instrument or
was in the military like, very clear deli
(27:03):
of these different goals because listen, we're not
trying to, like, short change our family, and
short change our health and wellness so we
can make a ton of money. We wanna
make a ton of money and
be fit and have great relationships. Right? Both
and
and so this is the second piece. I
think those those aligned
goals. And then,
(27:24):
and by the way, there has... Be a
mechanism for tracking this for scoring this, etcetera
just like in sports, there's a... You have
a win loss record. You have a score
board, you're tracking your metrics, whether it's your
bench press or your 40 time or whatever
might be. You have to have a metric
a system to track this. And and and
this is what we do with our clients,
of course, is we have a tracking system
And then the third part... So the first
(27:46):
part is vision and values. Second part align
goals. Third part is as an athlete.
I had what I call an environment of
excellence. The environment of excellence is I had
coaches to kick me the rear end if
I needed a kick or or pick me
up and dust me off if that's what
I needed.
Coaches who could see my blind spots that
I couldn't see. Like, we all have this.
We all have blind spots,
(28:08):
and we need somebody
outside of our head outside of our lives
who can call us out and help us
see those blind spots. And so not only
was the in is the environment of excellence
made up of coaches,
pete mentors, coaches, you know, in the real
world that's, like, financial advisors,
doctors, you know, people like that in our
lives.
But also,
(28:28):
teammates. Like, who are the people I am
doing life with?
And and whenever we have, you know, whenever
we have
that the right people around us. Right? The
the right people who are who are being...
Like, for me, I wanna be around great
fathers.
Because when I'm around great fathers, it raises
my game. Just by osmosis. Right? It just
happens. Like, when I was training at the
(28:49):
olympic training center, my standards of
everything, how I worked out, how I trained
how I slept what I ate. When I
was at the Olympic training center around World
class athletes,
the bar just went up because the environmental
of excellence. So that's the third piece. And
then the fourth and final piece is you
gotta have a plan to follow through.
Because life will throw you off the path.
(29:11):
Right? The name of our program is reveal
path. But, like, life is gonna knock you
off the path, knock you off course because,
you know, kids are gonna get sick. Cars
gonna break down, economy goes in the tank.
I don't know, global pandemic happens. I mean,
things like this come along.
You know, maybe just go on vacation or
the holidays come by. And and also sudden,
you're off of your habits, you're out of
your routines, you're off the path, You're not
(29:33):
eating healthy, You're not waking up early and
doing the disciplined things that are keeping you
on the path and helping you live towards
and move towards that vision, you have to
have a plan long term,
to stay on track. So I'll I'll pause
there. And and then I'll I can get
to the the the spouse question next.
Yeah. I... Well, I have
now I'm overlapping questions. I wanna ask you
(29:56):
because I see this a lot.
You start off with a group of fronts.
Maybe 18 years old, 22 25 30.
Then you go on this
journey of self improvement,
and reflection and your productive pause and you're
getting better.
What happens when you outgrow your friends? Mh.
What what do you do?
(30:16):
You will.
You will. You will outgrow level, and,
you know,
what is your... Like, why do you want
what you want? You know? I think about
myself, like, why do I want whatever I...
Why do I want to build this business?
And
it's not... You know, listen, I wanna make
a lot of money, But it's... What's the
(30:37):
real driver behind it? It's... I wanna make
an impact in the world. I wanna leave
a legacy. I wanna raise people's standards. I
wanna help them, live out the potential that
that they feel like they have deep down
inside and they're they're struggling. They're grinding. They're
working hard. They're thinking to themselves, gosh. I
know I know I have more me. I
just am heading into this this this invisible
(30:58):
ceiling this invisible wall while I I want
to
unlock people
that is so fulfilling and excited. So
for me to say, okay, I'm not gonna
spend as much time with this person.
It is
it's it's it's not selfish.
It is because I'm am going to raise
the level of other people
(31:20):
because of that.
You know, it's like when you fire with
if you have to if you've ever fired
somebody, if you ever fire an employee,
it sucks. It hurts it is the 1
of the hardest things to do in our
work our career is to fire somebody.
But if you understand that firing that person
will unlock the company. Will help everybody else,
(31:40):
you know, be happier at work.
Do their jobs better,
make more money,
produce more of what you're producing,
all of the benefits from firing 1 person.
There's
there's there's value to that. Right? And and
so we have to understand it have to
get... We have to go back to step
1 and say, what is the vision? Right?
(32:02):
If if that a vision is this,
and it's a good vision, and it is
it is good for the world and good
for people,
then, you know what? It's okay if I
don't spend as much time with that person,
or maybe I cut that person completely out
of my life or there's there's certain ways
to
to manage that relationship and I had actually
had 1 client who had AAA toxic
(32:23):
relationship.
And, with a family member, and he said,
he came up with this mantra. He he
still spent the same amount of time with
this person,
but he simply came up with a mantra
when he had to be around this person.
That said, and he said, I choose
not to engage.
I choose not to engage because this person
was always pulling in to arguments and fights
(32:46):
and negativity.
And so he he... That's how he dealt
with that... It was very close relationship in
his life. Couldn't
cut that person out. And so
if you can't cut the person out, you
can come up with, like, systems like that,
routines and habits like that. Or if you
just... If you can minimize sign with people.
And and I'll I'll upload this into spouse.
Right? So if your spouse is not on
(33:07):
board,
you have to figure out, you know,
you know, again, go back to the vision,
is this vision good for that person.
Right? And sharing why this vision is good
for that person. And, you know, my wife,
she she saw me grinding and working hard
in and trying to to live this vision,
and she knew that I I wanted to
(33:29):
re up our family financially and free up
our family so that I could work from
anywhere, so we could go on awesome trips
and I can work from home and be
more involved in the kids lives.
But she thought, gosh, Is it is it
worth at Gym? Is it worth waking up
early? Is it worth you know, doing phone
calls, coaching calls when you're driving down the
road, just, you know, back off and and
just be happy with what you have, You
(33:49):
know, we you have a great job, but
I wasn't happy with that job and to
be honest. She wasn't either because I was
gone so much and missing my kid's soccer
games and because I had to work 8
hours on a Saturday at a football game.
I couldn't watch my kid play soccer. Like,
that sucked. And and so she knew it
was behind it,
didn't like seeing me push myself and challenge
myself to the point it was hard for
(34:11):
me.
But that's what I thrived off of, and,
and whatever we got here. I mean, she
knows as well as I do. It was
all worth it.
Yeah. The shared vision with the spouse, I
think is is crazy important. At the
Saturdays and working and missing games. Is it
worth it? So it's like, the the question
is jim, like, do you trade your time
(34:32):
for money?
Should a person trade their time for money?
Maybe the answer is yes.
Sometimes. Right? Maybe it's snow.
Yeah. That's such a tough question Is an
entrepreneur you're an entrepreneur as well. I We
don't trade our time for money. Right? We
we, you know, we have leverage.
You know, my dad was a construction worker.
She metal a worker in in Pittsburgh are
(34:54):
grown up. And he traded his time for
money. So for him,
you know, like, like, for me, I think
about it who who can I hire to
do
fill in the blank? Right? Who can I
hire? Yeah know, Used to do all my
home renovations, everything by myself. And now I
hire people to do a lot of that
stuff.
And it's because
I can take that same amount of time
(35:14):
and energy and invested in my business and
get a greater return on that. Right? There's
a long a short term and any long
term Roi on that. And that's not the
case for everyone. And and so
you know, there are a lot of entrepreneurs
who say,
everybody should be an entrepreneur. Yeah. Listen. It's
not for everyone. Right? There's there's there's, like,
there's scary days and there's there's failures and
(35:36):
and there's there's a lack of comfort
as as an entrepreneur
that you you and you can have some
security, not, you know, don't be fooled and
be thinking you have absolute security and a
job. But but there is some level of
of security depending on the job you have
and the role you do.
That that comes with being an employee
and or your trading time for money, but
(35:57):
I still even challenge the employees listening to
think about
how can I think at a higher level?
Well, hike... How can I work smarter, not
harder the old click cli cliche?
Can I hire somebody in the Philippines
for, you know, 08:10, 12 bucks an hour
to do this, you know, Min inertia that
I have to do? Maybe it's a personal
(36:19):
task. Maybe it's a professional task are there
ways to
increase my leadership skills to,
improve my delegation still skills, ways to
delegate,
lead, and empower others around me
so that I can work on higher level
things and make even more money and improve
my career, etcetera.
(36:41):
I... I've got a perfect quote for that,
jim. I was just pulling it up and
It's funny. It's been it's been credited to
you already, Gandhi, the Dal Lam,
Lebron James,
and God.
Ask me where those came from, but,
here's the quote. Man sacrifices
his health in order to make money.
Then he sacrifices money
(37:02):
to recuperate his health. Mh. And then he
is so anxious about the future that he
does not enjoy the present.
The result being that he does not live
in the present or the future, He lives
lives as if he's never going to die
and then dies never having really lived.
It's
exactly what you're talking about right now. Yeah.
That was probably that was probably Lebron and
(37:23):
Gandhi got together on that 1 when and
came up with that quick. Like,
So true. Like like you see and feel
all the truth in that. And for the
listener, or maybe you're like, oh, that's not
not me, but listen,
We all know deep down. At some level.
There's, like, some of that in all of
us, you know? So we have to you
know, when you have a framework to live
by, when you have these clear goals in
(37:44):
all of the areas, You know, like, I
have right now, and I'm looking at them
right in front of me, like,
I know that I'm not sacrificing my health.
I know that I'm not sacrificing
money. I'm not sacrificing different thing. 1 for
the other
I have a plan for all of these
areas in my life, so I can listen,
you know, it's it, you know, might sound
(38:05):
like B, but, like,
so you can have it all. I mean,
that... That's the goal. We want to have
it all. We wanna make a lot of
money, be really healthy have great relationships. All
of that, like,
there's a plan. There's a framework work for
that. And if you're just waking up every
today doing the same thing as you did
yesterday for no better reason, then that's what
I did. Your day. You're just gonna wake
(38:26):
up tomorrow. And do the same thing tomorrow
for no better reason then that's what you
did it today. Until you hit the pause
button,
it's probably going to have to be with
a coach with a mentor or at least,
you know,
with with a journal
until you hit that pause button and do
this work,
(38:46):
you will you will stay on that treadmill.
There's a, great Henry Ford, quote about thinking.
And it says thinking is the hardest work
there is. Which is probably the reason
so few
engage in it. We don't think it's just...
We wake up
Alarm goes off. We check our phone, check
(39:07):
emails, check text messages,
go off and and work all day, take
kids to events all night. Whatever it is
it's keeping you busy all day. If you're
not building in thinking time, you know Dave
you called Ceo time.
If you're not building this into your life,
and working with the coach working with somebody
who's getting you to stop
and say, are you digging your hole in
(39:28):
the right spot in your marriage in your
health and wellness.
Your personal life in in the things that
you will enjoy to enjoy doing your hobbies
and fun things in in the in the
areas of phil, or volunteering in your life,
in in your work and in your career
in your business. If no one's doing that
for you. You have to either find a
way to do it yourself or
most likely you gotta get something to help
you. I mean, that's just the way it
(39:49):
is. That's why Bill gates has a coach
and Oprah winfrey has a coach and
Tom Brady had a coach. I mean, Tom
Brady had a quarterback coach.
Pretty sure Tom you knew how to throw
football.
Don't say as possible bills fans, Jim. I'm
sorry. I apologize. Josh Josh S. Josh. Listen,
you you have... You have an appointment in
7 minutes. So III have to ask you
a couple of things I I had so
(40:09):
many more. I wanted to do a spend
versus saver in a relationship. We didn't even
get into
financial stuff. But I'm gonna ask you 1
money question that could go deep.
Yeah. Give me, like, your best 2 minute
answer because I a question that I really
wanna ask you. But... K. To to you,
Jim, executive coach successful person, what what is
the point of money?
(40:31):
Well would, that's that's a a great question,
and that could be a long deep answer.
Mh.
At the end of the day for me,
it's about
It's about, I guess, 2 things if I'm
gonna boil it down to 2 things.
Number 1 is impact,
and number 2 is experiences.
So impact is, like like, phil. Like, I
(40:52):
I know I have an ability to make
money
that can help other people. Right. Certainly in
my family, but other people in the community
as well. Fl. So Phil is 1 of
my core values. This was added sort of
later after I created all my initial core
values.
Phil
is a core value for me. So impact
giving it away, I I have friends who
(41:13):
give away millions and and I I aspire
to do the same in my life.
And then experiences is is
experiencing the world. Right, with my kids
with my wife,
with my parents who have had some great
experiences I want them to experience and things
that they've always desired to experience. So So
I would say those are the 2 things.
Right? Impact, you know, whether it's through your
(41:35):
church or or non nonprofit,
and and experiences.
I love it. And it's different for everybody.
Yeah. Security is a big 1 for a
lot of folks. You are. It's probably 1
of the most popular.
Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.
For the sake of time, Alright, Jim last
question you're ready. It's really important.
If Jim
were to wrestle,
his 23 year old self right now.
(41:58):
What would the result be?
It would be so devastating ugly right now.
And I'm in really good shape. And here's
hot... Here's why I know this. Here's why
I know this.
I was a I was a division in
all American,
shortly after after college, I was, like,
beating up guys who were, you know, 2,
3 time all Americans in the Eva dressing
(42:18):
room. And and I was, like,
toe to toe with these guys and beating
them a lot of times, this is, you
know, 10 years after I stopped wrestling.
And
10 to 15 years after I stopped wrestling.
So, I'm more, like, 20 years after now,
I would say this... It was about 10
to 12 years after. Then once I,
got away from wrestling for a few years,
(42:38):
and I step back on the mat, and
I was wrestling with a guy on the
team. He was
nowhere near on all American, good wrestler or
national qualifier, but not an all American, and
he was, like,
just total control of me. And I'm like,
oh my goodness. Have I lost
a step, 2 or 3 or 5 steps.
So
so it'd be ugly.
(42:59):
So for for my wife IA6 year old
son, and she says he's not wrestling.
How handy of a life skill is wrestling?
This is coming from an a division 1
all American and and coach.
Tell jump. Look, I... I'm trying to be
is is as objective as possible.
It and
it is the greatest sport. And and here's
(43:21):
why I think that my belief is true.
Unless I know it's an opinion.
How many friends do you have and do
I have that played 5 friends who played
football
in in cut division college and wrestled
friends who were athletes in other areas.
I have a friend who is, well, He's
the national championship head head soccer coach it's
(43:42):
Uv. They've won bunch of several national championships.
Said wrestling is the hardest thing he's ever
done. He was a high school wrestler as
well.
I know so many athletes in that have
said wrestling is the hardest.
And it is the best sport it is
the 1 that prepared me most for life
and they prepared me most for any other
hard thing that I've done. And so
the mental tough that it requires, the the
(44:04):
individuality requires me to wake up and do
the hard thing me to not depend on
somebody else me to not blame somebody else.
Like, it is
such a necessary life scale for young people.
And it's handy. The... What what was Dan
Gables quote after wrestling everything is easy. Everybody
else is easy. Yeah. Not not to mention
(44:24):
the fact like this in self defense. I
feel like I can defend myself up against
anybody. You know? Like, it's just... There's a
level of confidence that comes with that too.
A hundred... At least you have a chance.
Right? Got a chance. Yeah. So... Alright, Jim.
Hey, appointment in 2 minutes, how do our
listeners get a hold of you if they
wanna find you? Yeah. I just Google my
name, Jim Harsh, HARSHAW.
(44:45):
If you go to jim Harsh, junior dot
com. You can book a free clarity call
with me, 1 time call. You can find
me on social media,
check out the podcast. Again, just go to
your for any podcast platform, Google my name,
you'll find success for the athletic mine demand,
and, and all the, you know, hundreds of
episodes So those are the 2 places, the
podcast and the website.
(45:06):
I love them man, hey, Listen. I appreciate
your time. I'm gonna see you in an
hour for our own coaching.
I do work with Jim. Disclaimer. Right?
I'll see you soon, Jim. Appreciate the time.
Thanks a lot, man. Have a great day.
Appreciate. Thank you for listening to the Dear
Rochester
retire well podcast.
The information represents the views and opinions of
the guest. And does not necessarily represent the
(45:28):
views and opinions of 6 point financial partners.
The content has been made available for informational
and educational purposes only.
The content is not intended to be a
substitute for professional investing advice.
Always seek the advice of your financial adviser
or other qualified
financial service provider with any questions you may
(45:50):
have regarding your investment planning.
Welcome back to Dear Rochester
Retire well. Here's your host, Dave Po,
cf.
Welcome back folks to d rochester retire while.
We're here with Jim Harsh Junior. Jim is
a repeat guest. Jim, you you're on all
the way back in episode 25, I believe
(00:20):
it was. Dang. Which was early
what what you were on right now?
This should be a round number 85.
Wow. So, yeah. It depends on the production
outlet fun stuff is done. But Yeah. For
the folks that miss that 1. I'm not
gonna read the mile long bio that we
did last time, because last time I read
it way too long and you said that
doesn't even sound like me. So we'll make
(00:42):
it quick.
So folks, if you don't know Jim, and
we'll get to the end and how you
it find Jim and and and search him,
but Jim is an Nc double division 1
All American wrestler. We can't see the Cauliflower
ear due to headphones on the podcast, Jim.
Do you do you just get special headphones?
Well, ear earbuds, like regular iphone, earbuds don't
(01:03):
fit in my ears. I would love to
get airpods, but they don't make them for
people with my condition.
The good old color. It sounds like a
a market to be tapped. Yeah. Right. Jim
is a former Nc double division 1 head
coach. Where weren't you the youngest coach?
I was the youngest divisional on head and
coach in the country at the time, which
just means That was simply the most unprepared,
(01:24):
you know,
Guy who messed up the most. So, yes.
I of was the youngest division had us
coach in the country. Alright. On the opposite
side to screw it up, Jim is an
inter...
Internationally recognized tedx x speaker, which which I
wanna I want you to share how people
can find that because it's a really good
1 about kids in failure.
Jim's is a personal,
performance coach. That's how I know Jim. And
(01:45):
host of the
podcast with how many episodes you have now?
You've hundred 4 4 70 something for 84
70 something right now? Yeah. Yeah. And it's
say it's ke success for the athletic minded
man. And it If people search that, will
they find the success through failure podcast. Yep.
Yep. So so it was called success through
failure for years.
(02:06):
So if you just Google 6... Us for
through failure, You'll find that as well. So
we just changed made the... The name change.
Same
subscription, same podcast, basically same feed.
We made that name change, 01/01/2024.
Awesome. Can I ask you something that people
probably have not asked you before?
You're ready hear it. Lay it on me.
(02:27):
Jim, who are you gonna vote for in
this year's presidential presidential election?
If there's AACA
option c
I would much rather vote for option c.
But
he's sounds familiar, Jim. You don't actually have
to answer that.
The.
I I hate politics.
And I think Paul, yeah. I I think
Guy we could do a whole episode. And
(02:47):
actually might do a whole episode on on
the psychology of politics. I believe. Yes. I
believe we vote more for
our tribe, then we do our values. I
think people don't understand the other side well.
And and if you can't,
If you can't
explain
the other side's position in why they feel
that way,
(03:08):
then
you're not really trying to pay attention. Most
people get their news all from Cnn or
all from Fox and they're just getting
half truths...
Biased,
facts, and they're not really listening, and and
I really wish we would do that more
in this world.
I
I I'm I'm relatively new to Facebook due
to our social media team, Jim as you
(03:30):
know, and I I rarely go on there,
but, I'm I'm scrolling through. And I had
a lot of connections that I feel like,
folks that I went to, like, high school
with or something.
Like, we're... Have been waiting for people in
their class to hop on face because the
second I got out. It was like, a
thousand invites whatever. Of course. So so I
accept them. And what I see is book
There are people that spends... So... This is
(03:51):
not the direction I wanna go with. We'll
get into the actual stuff in a second.
But I see
so many people
that, like, live
to...
What does it put down or sn, the
president that... That... That's not their guy in
this election. Right? Yeah. And it's like,
there's like, 1 specific person I'm thinking of,
and if he sees this. I don't want
(04:12):
him know him, but it's like,
every 20 minutes, there's an, Donald Trump post
about how horrible he is. And that's fine.
If you... Whatever.
That's is what it is, whatever.
But I'm more thinking like, man,
That that guy is so in your head.
You're letting him do this to you. Right.
Like, you hate him that much.
He's owning you right now. Right? And it's
(04:34):
the same for the other side. Like... Yeah.
The the the Biden the people that post
all the bad stuff about president Biden. Right?
Like... So...
Totally get it, man. So let's let's actually
get into the the stuff I wanted to
talk about right now. Yeah. Good. So
you... You're you're a coach. A performance coach
for a lot of successful folks.
And
you've been doing it for a long time,
(04:54):
and, obviously, with your roots of a, being
the wrestling coach and and all the other
stuff you've done.
I wanted to get into, like, what is
an issue
that folks are facing right now.
Successful. You've all the way across the spectrum,
like, what do you see that folks have
in common that they're struggling with right now.
People
are so busy
(05:16):
and so
overwhelmed
that they don't have time to figure out
what's next. They know that they want
clarity on what's next for them.
And they are so busy and overwhelmed and
consumed with the min inertia of the day
to day of their work and of all
the things that are pulling them in a
million different directions, and they feel like they're
(05:37):
going a hundred miles an hour all day
long, getting a hundred things done. But at
the end of the day, they don't even
feel like they've moved the needle in their
lives And so they're looking for that clarity
around what's next but they're... They don't have
a framework to figure it out.
And so they just stay busy on the
treadmill and and on the treadmill of life,
(05:58):
and and if they have a free moment,
they wasted on social media, selling through social
media and scrolling and
burning time.
So
how do you overcome that?
There's there's a single concept.
That I've boiled success down to. And and
nobody's talking about this. Nobody...
(06:20):
You know, broadly, I've I've never heard anybody
talk about this.
This concept. And and the first several hundred
episodes of my podcast. I was interviewing, you
know, Navy Seal, Olympic medal lists and Ceos.
New York Times is best selling authors etcetera,
etcetera. No I Would always ask them, what
is 1 habit the you most credit for
your success. And you would think for the
New york Time is selling off they would
tell you some kind of writing habit. You
(06:41):
would think that for the Olympic Gold Medal
list, they would tell you some kind of
training habit, but it was never that. It
was always... That some version of...
They might say, well, at the beginning of
every day,
I I sit down, and I make a
plan for my day and how I'm gonna
win the day. Or
before
before the the season, the competition season for
(07:02):
for an athlete,
I sit down with my coaches. We make
a plan, and we plan out, you know,
the season and my training and what I'm
gonna work on, etcetera. So it's it's always
some version of stepping back, stepping out of
the rat race stopping what I'm doing, not
doing the thing, but actually hitting the pause
button.
Asking questions
might be through journal, might be through soup
(07:24):
through planning, might be working with a coach.
But asking questions,
so that they can get the thing that
I said there that everybody wants,
clarity of action,
and the other thing is people want is
peace of mind. And so I've coined to
term for this this concept this this pause,
and I call it the productive
pause. And the productive pause is to defined
as this. It's a short period of focus
(07:46):
reflection around specific questions
that leads to clarity of action and peace
of mind.
Clarity of action peace of mind. Like, that
is what everybody wants? We don't wanna know.
Am I doing the right thing? Like, what
are the right things to do? Are they
the right things
if if so, I could put my head
on the pillow at night and and fall
asleep, and and I'm not gonna be
(08:07):
up all night, you know,
with my my mind going in my I
you. Forget something in am my, you know,
I I got a million things on my
plate to do tomorrow? Am I doing the
right thing. Most people end up digging their
hole in the wrong spot. Right They they
they lift their heads up every once wanted,
and they look around. They go,
this is not where I thought I would
be in life right now.
I thought I thought I'd be maybe making
(08:29):
more money or my marriage will be better
or my health and fitness would be better.
And
and what do they do? The they don't
know how to do the productive pause. So
they put their head back down and they
just work harder. And hard work is not
the answer.
You talked to, I how how many... If
you ask a hundred people on the street,
or you do your work hard a hundred
(08:50):
ton people would tell you I work hard.
Right? And and it's the truth. Listen.
Listeners of this podcast,
they're they're generally hardworking people. Like, you're busy,
you're working hard. So if if everybody is
doing that, but some are getting further ahead
than others.
Hard work is not the ingredient. It's it's
it's a required ingredient for That's. Absolutely. I
mean, there's a lot of sort of required
(09:11):
ingredients.
But the differentiator
is people who stop, step back work with
a coach, have a a mindfulness practice like
journal or meditation, and they get that clarity
of action to peace of mind. Then they
engage. When I was wrestling at Uv
in order for me to become an all
American,
(09:32):
I had to do a productive pause. The
the most valuable time that I ever spent
in my entire athletic career was that 1
hour
before the season started. When my coaches would
call me in, and we would have coaches
meeting and me and the coaches, the head
coach and the assistant coaches. We talk about,
you know, what weight class you're gonna wrestle
and what tournaments are we gonna, you know,
go to and what come tensions we wanna
(09:52):
make sure we get and and hit for
you and what are the weaknesses and strengths
and all this, you know, all day make
a plan.
And because we stopped
wasn't training. I wasn't practicing moves. Or wasn't
it watching film wasn't in the wait room,
but that 1 hour that paused
Those questions led to clarity of action, peace
of mind,
(10:12):
execution, anything that you want for the listener
I'm talking to a listener right now. Anything
that you want in life.
Is going to be more possible
because you stop. Not despite the pause, but
because of the pause, Like, you say, you
know, Jim, that that pause isn't more important
than going to church or spending time with
my wife or spending time with my kids
or working out or getting that that that
(10:34):
project done at work to get the promotion
so I can make more money and pay
off my dad or whatever. No. It is
more important than all of that. Because when
you pause,
all of that
becomes
more doable. I just I just had coffee
with my pastor from my church this morning.
Put him back, put him out of the
weeds. We zoomed out. Okay. What are we
working on? We got clarity. He got clarity.
(10:56):
We identified his goals, his micro goals. Now
he's off. Off and running and and he's
gonna execute better
because of that pause.
How do you... I think back to, like,
when I was a new financial adviser, or
I have friends that are starting a business.
And they're in the absolute grind,
and you know what I'm talking about. Yeah.
(11:17):
I mean, Do they have to get up
at 2 in the morning to have a
productive pause because they're looking for the next
client, the next customer, the next sale, whatever
it might be. How how to
you literally have to force yourself. How do
how do you make that happen? Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, I that's... That is the conundrum.
People are get listening is going. Jim, And
that sounds great. But I'm not in that
place in my career right now. I'm not
(11:38):
in that place. I'm like, right now, I
am noticed to the grinds zone. I've... I'm
building a business
I'm, you know, I'm an entrepreneur and I've
kids, and I have whatever else I'm trying
to, you know, I've got these different things
pulling my life, like, I get it. I
have 4 kids. I have my own business.
My wife works.
We've got an alien family member that we're...
This consuming a lot of time for us.
(11:59):
I mean,
kids in all kinds of different sports and
activities and on, like, I a hundred percent
get I can relate.
I had a business
this business on the side when I was
working full time,
working nights and weekends, traveling all of that,
but you still have to find a way
to pause. And and listen, you know, a
(12:19):
great question, Dave, Like, is it how, you
know, do To get up at 2 in
the morning to do this. You can simply
do this. If you're saying, okay, Jim. What's
the what's the quick action item here. The
quick action item is this? I'll, give you
here here's my here's my morning routine?
When I sit down at my desk,
I have a journal and and for those
watching the video, not listening just the audio
if you're watching on Youtube, I'm holding up
my journal, and and every morning,
(12:41):
Know listen, I don't do this every morning.
I'm not perfect.
But I do this... I do believe there's
a point of diminishing returns for some habit.
Right? Like working out every day. I don't
work out every day. I work out 3
to 5 days a week. But and for
this, I do this about 4 days a
week probably.
And, some days 5, some weeks 5, some
weeks 3. But I simply write write out
3 things in the morning. Number 1, What
(13:02):
am I grateful for? 3 things I'm grateful
for. Like just 3 gratitude puts my mind
in the right spot. Number 2, what are
3 things I'm gonna do today to make
it a great day. Like, what do I
have to do to make it a great
day. Just quick and easy,
sort of clarity of action for the day,
and then I do 3 affirmations through 3
things,
positive mindset thing. I do a couple other,
like, little
(13:23):
I review my micro goals and review my
my my vision for my life. But if
you just
if you just simply... If you only did
this, If you took out a posted note,
Turn it away from your computer and before
you turn on your email or everything. If
you simply only wrote out what are the
3 things I'm gonna write I'm gonna Gonna
I gotta do to win the day today.
If that's all you did,
you'll find peace.
(13:44):
You'll find clarity,
you'll execute at a higher level. That is
the minimum minimum effective dose of a of
a productive pause. But start there. And then,
you know, as you know, Dave, like, you
know, working with the coach and working with
the,
someone who has a framework to help you
stop, you know,
pull back maybe once a month
(14:05):
for maybe a half an hour to an
hour or even on a long, you know,
on once a year for a couple of
hours and really evaluate the year before, plan
for the year. Had there are different levels
of productive pause. But every day, you should
have 1 that's at least a couple of
minutes.
Know, monthly at least 30 minutes to an
hour, and then annually
2 to 4 hours. I typically do about
(14:25):
a 5 hour productive pause annually.
So
there's so much there.
For the for the listeners out there,
I caught the fact that you said, this
was your side hustle before. Yeah.
And you were working full time doing something
else. So there are a lot of folks
out there that
unfortunately, don't want to be doing what they
(14:46):
are doing.
So how do they go from what they
are doing
just like you did to what you love?
And then I wanna jump into the framework
that you talked about? And I wanna talk
about, I let me forget. I wanna talk
about the focus that
as a wrestler. Right? You were focused on
the 1 thing. And then as we get
older, other things pop up. But but first,
how do you go from the full time
(15:07):
job that you may you may not love,
and it you it may not be your
passion to
what you truly wanna do. Yeah. It's a
great question.
So my my job when I was working
full time was to be honest it was
my dream job. I was a fundraiser, major
gift fundraiser for the athletic department at My
Alma mater. I was a wrestler there... You
know, I got to raise money for a
(15:28):
football and Basketball and wrestling and lacrosse and
soccer and all these great sports is, you
know, 1 of the best athletic departments in
the. We finished fifth and the director's cup...
Just a couple weeks ago, the final standings
came out. Like,
so passionate about... I'm so passionate about athletes
athletics of my my Alma water and especially
wrestling of course. So I was whining and
dining, like wealthy people and they got a,
expense account, I talked line on the Uv
(15:49):
private jet, and all these... I mean, it's
just such a, you know, behind the scenes
with, you know,
power 5 football getting on the sidelines so
much fun. So much when. Cut go to
the final 4 and watch my Alma mater,
you know, win the National championship in 2019,
and it was all paid for. Right? It
was, like, of aa. Everybody this is a
vacation for people I'm like,
this to not at the office.
I had my dream job.
(16:10):
And so for me to actually have to
dedicate
time to creating my dream business. It was
even harder than I I wasn't driven by
some, like, I hate my job. So if
you have that going for you, like, Like,
count that as a positive. Like, don't count
that like, oh, well, you know, I hate
my job and it's hard for me to
get motivated to build. So side, no, Got
you got extra extra, like, fuel for your
fire. So
(16:31):
I was working nights and weekends. At least
60 hours week, you know, I was traveling,
etcetera.
Have family of 4, you know, 4 kids,
I should say, you know, my wife and
I 4 kids, family of 6.
You have to find a way
to carve out to time. And how did
I do this? I started waking up earlier.
If you wake up, if you wake up
earlier,
(16:51):
1 day
or 1 hour per day
for a year. It is...
This math sounds wrong.
But it is right. Look this up. 09:40
hour work weeks.
09:40 hour work weeks, 1
hour a day K, 1 hour a day,
so I gained myself that 1 hour so
wake up 1 hour earlier, I'm not a
(17:12):
morning person, but I started waking up early.
And
so when did you cut back on Jim?
I cut back on my workouts. Right? Minimum
effective both of my workouts. And so I
cut my workouts back to...
My last year working full time. My goal
is 300 workouts that year, but I would
I would include these 10 minute hit workouts
I would I would do. Right? So I
I minimize that to the minimum effective dose.
(17:32):
You know I doing like, 3 sets of
push ups, 3 sets of burp, 3 sets
of set, 3 sets of pull ups. So
boom. 10 minutes done. Let's get to work.
Let's get to my business so I'd about
an hour to an hour and a half
in the morning to work on my business.
And
and, you know, you find time. Right? You're...
You know, I would take coaching calls when
I was driving... I'd be driving down the
road to an appointment. And, like, I I
would do a coaching call. Would do a
(17:54):
coaching. Hold on. Like, you have the time.
It's there. You just have to stop wasting
it on
Netflix or scrolling through social media or any
of the other things that we we waste
our time and energy on. And so, you
know, what does that look like for you?
So... Okay. So there's that. Right? There... There...
There's... You do have the time. It's not
(18:14):
that I don't have the time. You hear
here's an empowering thought for the listener.
Stop saying I don't have time.
And start saying,
I just have not prioritized it. And it's
the truth. You might say, well, that's Bs
s shit. I actually don't have time. No.
No. You're prioritizing
something else. And listen. It might might be
you might be prioritizing work workout. So you
(18:35):
might be prioritizing sleep or you might be
prioritizing,
spending time with your kids. That's great. I'm
not saying you're you're prioritizing it something else
bad over it. I'm just saying, you choose
you're making a choice to prioritize
your marriage, your faith, etcetera over it. That's
good. That's that's great. Keep prioritizing those things.
What I'm saying is are are there things
(18:56):
in there that you're prioritizing? Maybe watching the
football game on Sundays.
That you're choosing to prioritize
over
building your business over investing time in. I
don't know losing working out losing the 10
pounds that you wanna whatever it is. If
you simply say I'm prioritizing other things, and
some of those are good and some of
those are not so good,
then that is an an empowering thought.
(19:18):
Okay. So let's put a pin in that.
So you've gotta find the time. You do
have the time. You're just prioritizing something else
so that that's okay, but you have to
figure out maybe what you can prioritize
bump down the list, so you can bump
this up.
Before you do that though,
actually, maybe maybe with the time that you
gain,
You have to figure out what is the
vision for my life? Like, what is it
(19:40):
that I'm actually motivated to build? Right? Is
it a side hustle? Is it, a new
skill so I can get the promotion that
I want? Is it a new skill so
I can and maybe it's a couple classes
that's and at back in College and, you
can get a different degree and, like, my
wife did a few years ago, and she
got a different degree and changed careers.
From a licensed counselor to a school counselor.
(20:02):
And so she has summers off. And so
she made that choice. Right? You have to
first stop
and figure out what what what is it?
That you ate the want? Like, are you
going... If you're gonna dig your hole,
dig the hole in the right spot?
That requires you stepping back and crafting out
what does my ideal day look like.
(20:23):
And listen, you have to take the guard
rails off. This can't be like, yeah. It's
kinda like, doing a little bit of what
I'm doing now, but just like a little
bit better. No. No. That's not what we're
talking about. We're saying,
If you had a magic wand,
what would my... What would your life look
like? That is the vision. That is exciting.
Right And and listen, it's not gonna be
sipping my ties on the beach because you're
gonna get bored that in a a day
(20:44):
or a week. Like,
it is some different version of life that
is... Above what you're living right now. Maybe
it's more balanced, Maybe you're working out more,
maybe you're making twice as much money. Maybe
you have a a, business, maybe you're Ceo,
and maybe you're in a different role.
Maybe you're...
I don't know. Maybe you're an author. Maybe
(21:04):
whatever that is for you,
it's critical that you identify that so that
when you wake up in the morning, you
get that extra hour, you're you're finding time
in your day, you know
what you're doing
during those times.
How... Okay. So go going back to the
framework I'm making that happen because this is
what you do as a coach.
(21:27):
You go from and, again, the listeners know
that said especially if they ever played any
high school
or C sports. Right? There there was the
framework. There was a system. You followed that.
You had the nutrition. You you had all
the stuff.
Then you get out of the real world.
Right? And then then
especially after you you get married have children.
That changes everything.
(21:49):
No. How how do you take that step
back? I know it's a productive pause, but
what is the framework that you've designed to
help people do that? And then I wanted
to ask you too, and I know I'm
asking 2 questions at the time now, but
the... When you're in the middle of that,
because I I get this a lot from
different people.
You're in the middle of
your dream job,
which it must have been a real calling
(22:09):
for you to do this to leave a
dream job to become a personal performer coach
because that most people are gonna hear that?
And, like, why why would you ever wanna
leave to go do that? U.
But you're you're doing all those things at
once and you have 4 kids. It's like,
was how how did your wife handle that?
When you're...
Because I get it, man. Like, you're you're
so focused on that thing
(22:30):
and made maybe they get it, Maybe they
don't. But how do you communicate that with
your spouse? Yeah. So framework and then how
do communicate that to your spouse? Okay. And
then Stop. Great. Great. Great. So, the framework
is this.
For if for anybody who's listening, if you
were ever an athlete high school
elementary doesn't matter. Like, at any level,
(22:51):
if you were ever,
maybe part of... You you played an instrument
maybe you were in the military, anything like
that.
There's there's a level of clarity that comes
with those roles.
And I'll be honest, there's a level of
clarity that comes with our lives up until
we hit. I don't know maybe 35 years
(23:11):
old or so. Right? We... There's there's you
graduate high school and then you're supposed to
go to college, and you go to college
and then you're supposed to get your first
job and you buy the car and you
buy the house and you get married in
the kids and, there are these sort of
checklist that we feel like we're sort supposed
to do that society sort of, you know,
put upon us Right And not everybody has
that same path. And, and went up. But
but generally speaking, that is kind of what
(23:33):
you're supposed quote unquote supposed to do in
America. And
you get to a certain point
And, you know, in the mid thirties or
so, maybe
some see people are earlier or some people
a little later, where you go, okay. I've
checked all these boxes.
And now what? Like, that's the end of
the map. The roadmap ends there.
(23:53):
And
the rest of it, you...
It's like, like okay. There's there's no...
There's no plan here. Right? Like, what do
I do now? And that's where that sort
of midlife crisis comes along that's where people
kinda get to that point where they go
Now, I've got more potential. I know there's
more in the tank.
I I wanna get to that next thing.
We honest I don't even know what that
next thing is. And don't even have the
(24:14):
framework to figure with that out... Figure out
what that is. And and to be honest,
I'm too busy. I don't even have the
time to do it even, you know, to
figure out what that is, because I'm so
busy. Right? So the framework is this.
When you were competing as an athlete when
you were in the military or or in
some sort of
infrastructure environment like that, there's a level of
clarity that comes in. Is an athlete
(24:36):
very clear. When
we we know what success looks like. It's
winning the, you know, making the starting lineup
up, winning the game, winning the match, winning
the competition, you know, make into the posts
season being on the top of the podium,
all of that. Very clear.
Black and white.
We get out here in the real world.
It's not. It's just, you know, they're, you
always scroll through social media or drive down
(24:56):
your road or talk to some friends and
you you'll see there's a hundred different ways
that success can look like. And so
first, we have to go, what is what
is What is the vision for my life
their aligns with me? Like, what is the
vision that is exciting to me? Now what
society tells me I should want?
But what is actually exciting to me? So
this is the first part that you have
to do, and this is what what high
(25:18):
performing athlete tab Right? You think of... You
know, the best athletes in the world. I
mean, it's very clear what success looks like.
It's the championship
at the end of the year. And and
and so that's the first part.
Vision, and then 1 of the underlying core
values under that. Right? That's step 1 of
a 4 step framework. Step 1 of this
vision, and under extracting what are the core
(25:39):
values from that. Right? We have a process
for this, of course, as you know. And
then the second part is we have to
create goals that align with that vision, goals
that align with that values. Not goals that
align with what my parents want for me
or what social media tells me I should
to want or not be not basing your
goals based on what's parked in your neighbor's
driveway.
Basing your goals, aligning your goals,
(26:00):
t your goals to
your vision for your life and what your
core values are. Now you referenced something earlier
that said about, like, this sort of single
minded focus of an athlete. When I was
An athlete, it was single minded folk. It
was really about wrestling. Everything else was secondary.
Right?
Academics I'll be blunt,
academics was was secondary. I mean, I went
(26:21):
to a great school the number 1 public
school in the country and got good grades
and, you know, 4 and grad school, etcetera,
etcetera. But, like, That was all secondary. Social
life. Secondary.
I had a single bonded focus.
Out here in the real world, we can't
afford that. Right? We have...
Relationships, we have family.
We have health and wellness. We have to
pay attention to, and we have our career
(26:42):
or our wealth, our income, or business. So
we set goals in 4 different areas,
Relationships,
self,
health and wealth. Right? So we have that
very clear framework.
That is different than say the athlete or
someone who, you know, played an instrument or
was in the military like, very clear deli
(27:03):
of these different goals because listen, we're not
trying to, like, short change our family, and
short change our health and wellness so we
can make a ton of money. We wanna
make a ton of money and
be fit and have great relationships. Right? Both
and
and so this is the second piece. I
think those those aligned
goals. And then,
(27:24):
and by the way, there has... Be a
mechanism for tracking this for scoring this, etcetera
just like in sports, there's a... You have
a win loss record. You have a score
board, you're tracking your metrics, whether it's your
bench press or your 40 time or whatever
might be. You have to have a metric
a system to track this. And and and
this is what we do with our clients,
of course, is we have a tracking system
And then the third part... So the first
(27:46):
part is vision and values. Second part align
goals. Third part is as an athlete.
I had what I call an environment of
excellence. The environment of excellence is I had
coaches to kick me the rear end if
I needed a kick or or pick me
up and dust me off if that's what
I needed.
Coaches who could see my blind spots that
I couldn't see. Like, we all have this.
We all have blind spots,
(28:08):
and we need somebody
outside of our head outside of our lives
who can call us out and help us
see those blind spots. And so not only
was the in is the environment of excellence
made up of coaches,
pete mentors, coaches, you know, in the real
world that's, like, financial advisors,
doctors, you know, people like that in our
lives.
But also,
(28:28):
teammates. Like, who are the people I am
doing life with?
And and whenever we have, you know, whenever
we have
that the right people around us. Right? The
the right people who are who are being...
Like, for me, I wanna be around great
fathers.
Because when I'm around great fathers, it raises
my game. Just by osmosis. Right? It just
happens. Like, when I was training at the
(28:49):
olympic training center, my standards of
everything, how I worked out, how I trained
how I slept what I ate. When I
was at the Olympic training center around World
class athletes,
the bar just went up because the environmental
of excellence. So that's the third piece. And
then the fourth and final piece is you
gotta have a plan to follow through.
Because life will throw you off the path.
(29:11):
Right? The name of our program is reveal
path. But, like, life is gonna knock you
off the path, knock you off course because,
you know, kids are gonna get sick. Cars
gonna break down, economy goes in the tank.
I don't know, global pandemic happens. I mean,
things like this come along.
You know, maybe just go on vacation or
the holidays come by. And and also sudden,
you're off of your habits, you're out of
your routines, you're off the path, You're not
(29:33):
eating healthy, You're not waking up early and
doing the disciplined things that are keeping you
on the path and helping you live towards
and move towards that vision, you have to
have a plan long term,
to stay on track. So I'll I'll pause
there. And and then I'll I can get
to the the the spouse question next.
Yeah. I... Well, I have
now I'm overlapping questions. I wanna ask you
(29:56):
because I see this a lot.
You start off with a group of fronts.
Maybe 18 years old, 22 25 30.
Then you go on this
journey of self improvement,
and reflection and your productive pause and you're
getting better.
What happens when you outgrow your friends? Mh.
What what do you do?
(30:16):
You will.
You will. You will outgrow level, and,
you know,
what is your... Like, why do you want
what you want? You know? I think about
myself, like, why do I want whatever I...
Why do I want to build this business?
And
it's not... You know, listen, I wanna make
a lot of money, But it's... What's the
(30:37):
real driver behind it? It's... I wanna make
an impact in the world. I wanna leave
a legacy. I wanna raise people's standards. I
wanna help them, live out the potential that
that they feel like they have deep down
inside and they're they're struggling. They're grinding. They're
working hard. They're thinking to themselves, gosh. I
know I know I have more me. I
just am heading into this this this invisible
(30:58):
ceiling this invisible wall while I I want
to
unlock people
that is so fulfilling and excited. So
for me to say, okay, I'm not gonna
spend as much time with this person.
It is
it's it's it's not selfish.
It is because I'm am going to raise
the level of other people
(31:20):
because of that.
You know, it's like when you fire with
if you have to if you've ever fired
somebody, if you ever fire an employee,
it sucks. It hurts it is the 1
of the hardest things to do in our
work our career is to fire somebody.
But if you understand that firing that person
will unlock the company. Will help everybody else,
(31:40):
you know, be happier at work.
Do their jobs better,
make more money,
produce more of what you're producing,
all of the benefits from firing 1 person.
There's
there's there's value to that. Right? And and
so we have to understand it have to
get... We have to go back to step
1 and say, what is the vision? Right?
(32:02):
If if that a vision is this,
and it's a good vision, and it is
it is good for the world and good
for people,
then, you know what? It's okay if I
don't spend as much time with that person,
or maybe I cut that person completely out
of my life or there's there's certain ways
to
to manage that relationship and I had actually
had 1 client who had AAA toxic
(32:23):
relationship.
And, with a family member, and he said,
he came up with this mantra. He he
still spent the same amount of time with
this person,
but he simply came up with a mantra
when he had to be around this person.
That said, and he said, I choose
not to engage.
I choose not to engage because this person
was always pulling in to arguments and fights
(32:46):
and negativity.
And so he he... That's how he dealt
with that... It was very close relationship in
his life. Couldn't
cut that person out. And so
if you can't cut the person out, you
can come up with, like, systems like that,
routines and habits like that. Or if you
just... If you can minimize sign with people.
And and I'll I'll upload this into spouse.
Right? So if your spouse is not on
(33:07):
board,
you have to figure out, you know,
you know, again, go back to the vision,
is this vision good for that person.
Right? And sharing why this vision is good
for that person. And, you know, my wife,
she she saw me grinding and working hard
in and trying to to live this vision,
and she knew that I I wanted to
(33:29):
re up our family financially and free up
our family so that I could work from
anywhere, so we could go on awesome trips
and I can work from home and be
more involved in the kids lives.
But she thought, gosh, Is it is it
worth at Gym? Is it worth waking up
early? Is it worth you know, doing phone
calls, coaching calls when you're driving down the
road, just, you know, back off and and
just be happy with what you have, You
(33:49):
know, we you have a great job, but
I wasn't happy with that job and to
be honest. She wasn't either because I was
gone so much and missing my kid's soccer
games and because I had to work 8
hours on a Saturday at a football game.
I couldn't watch my kid play soccer. Like,
that sucked. And and so she knew it
was behind it,
didn't like seeing me push myself and challenge
myself to the point it was hard for
(34:11):
me.
But that's what I thrived off of, and,
and whatever we got here. I mean, she
knows as well as I do. It was
all worth it.
Yeah. The shared vision with the spouse, I
think is is crazy important. At the
Saturdays and working and missing games. Is it
worth it? So it's like, the the question
is jim, like, do you trade your time
(34:32):
for money?
Should a person trade their time for money?
Maybe the answer is yes.
Sometimes. Right? Maybe it's snow.
Yeah. That's such a tough question Is an
entrepreneur you're an entrepreneur as well. I We
don't trade our time for money. Right? We
we, you know, we have leverage.
You know, my dad was a construction worker.
She metal a worker in in Pittsburgh are
(34:54):
grown up. And he traded his time for
money. So for him,
you know, like, like, for me, I think
about it who who can I hire to
do
fill in the blank? Right? Who can I
hire? Yeah know, Used to do all my
home renovations, everything by myself. And now I
hire people to do a lot of that
stuff.
And it's because
I can take that same amount of time
(35:14):
and energy and invested in my business and
get a greater return on that. Right? There's
a long a short term and any long
term Roi on that. And that's not the
case for everyone. And and so
you know, there are a lot of entrepreneurs
who say,
everybody should be an entrepreneur. Yeah. Listen. It's
not for everyone. Right? There's there's there's, like,
there's scary days and there's there's failures and
(35:36):
and there's there's a lack of comfort
as as an entrepreneur
that you you and you can have some
security, not, you know, don't be fooled and
be thinking you have absolute security and a
job. But but there is some level of
of security depending on the job you have
and the role you do.
That that comes with being an employee
and or your trading time for money, but
(35:57):
I still even challenge the employees listening to
think about
how can I think at a higher level?
Well, hike... How can I work smarter, not
harder the old click cli cliche?
Can I hire somebody in the Philippines
for, you know, 08:10, 12 bucks an hour
to do this, you know, Min inertia that
I have to do? Maybe it's a personal
(36:19):
task. Maybe it's a professional task are there
ways to
increase my leadership skills to,
improve my delegation still skills, ways to
delegate,
lead, and empower others around me
so that I can work on higher level
things and make even more money and improve
my career, etcetera.
(36:41):
I... I've got a perfect quote for that,
jim. I was just pulling it up and
It's funny. It's been it's been credited to
you already, Gandhi, the Dal Lam,
Lebron James,
and God.
Ask me where those came from, but,
here's the quote. Man sacrifices
his health in order to make money.
Then he sacrifices money
(37:02):
to recuperate his health. Mh. And then he
is so anxious about the future that he
does not enjoy the present.
The result being that he does not live
in the present or the future, He lives
lives as if he's never going to die
and then dies never having really lived.
It's
exactly what you're talking about right now. Yeah.
That was probably that was probably Lebron and
(37:23):
Gandhi got together on that 1 when and
came up with that quick. Like,
So true. Like like you see and feel
all the truth in that. And for the
listener, or maybe you're like, oh, that's not
not me, but listen,
We all know deep down. At some level.
There's, like, some of that in all of
us, you know? So we have to you
know, when you have a framework to live
by, when you have these clear goals in
(37:44):
all of the areas, You know, like, I
have right now, and I'm looking at them
right in front of me, like,
I know that I'm not sacrificing my health.
I know that I'm not sacrificing
money. I'm not sacrificing different thing. 1 for
the other
I have a plan for all of these
areas in my life, so I can listen,
you know, it's it, you know, might sound
(38:05):
like B, but, like,
so you can have it all. I mean,
that... That's the goal. We want to have
it all. We wanna make a lot of
money, be really healthy have great relationships. All
of that, like,
there's a plan. There's a framework work for
that. And if you're just waking up every
today doing the same thing as you did
yesterday for no better reason, then that's what
I did. Your day. You're just gonna wake
(38:26):
up tomorrow. And do the same thing tomorrow
for no better reason then that's what you
did it today. Until you hit the pause
button,
it's probably going to have to be with
a coach with a mentor or at least,
you know,
with with a journal
until you hit that pause button and do
this work,
(38:46):
you will you will stay on that treadmill.
There's a, great Henry Ford, quote about thinking.
And it says thinking is the hardest work
there is. Which is probably the reason
so few
engage in it. We don't think it's just...
We wake up
Alarm goes off. We check our phone, check
(39:07):
emails, check text messages,
go off and and work all day, take
kids to events all night. Whatever it is
it's keeping you busy all day. If you're
not building in thinking time, you know Dave
you called Ceo time.
If you're not building this into your life,
and working with the coach working with somebody
who's getting you to stop
and say, are you digging your hole in
(39:28):
the right spot in your marriage in your
health and wellness.
Your personal life in in the things that
you will enjoy to enjoy doing your hobbies
and fun things in in the in the
areas of phil, or volunteering in your life,
in in your work and in your career
in your business. If no one's doing that
for you. You have to either find a
way to do it yourself or
most likely you gotta get something to help
you. I mean, that's just the way it
(39:49):
is. That's why Bill gates has a coach
and Oprah winfrey has a coach and
Tom Brady had a coach. I mean, Tom
Brady had a quarterback coach.
Pretty sure Tom you knew how to throw
football.
Don't say as possible bills fans, Jim. I'm
sorry. I apologize. Josh Josh S. Josh. Listen,
you you have... You have an appointment in
7 minutes. So III have to ask you
a couple of things I I had so
(40:09):
many more. I wanted to do a spend
versus saver in a relationship. We didn't even
get into
financial stuff. But I'm gonna ask you 1
money question that could go deep.
Yeah. Give me, like, your best 2 minute
answer because I a question that I really
wanna ask you. But... K. To to you,
Jim, executive coach successful person, what what is
the point of money?
(40:31):
Well would, that's that's a a great question,
and that could be a long deep answer.
Mh.
At the end of the day for me,
it's about
It's about, I guess, 2 things if I'm
gonna boil it down to 2 things.
Number 1 is impact,
and number 2 is experiences.
So impact is, like like, phil. Like, I
(40:52):
I know I have an ability to make
money
that can help other people. Right. Certainly in
my family, but other people in the community
as well. Fl. So Phil is 1 of
my core values. This was added sort of
later after I created all my initial core
values.
Phil
is a core value for me. So impact
giving it away, I I have friends who
(41:13):
give away millions and and I I aspire
to do the same in my life.
And then experiences is is
experiencing the world. Right, with my kids
with my wife,
with my parents who have had some great
experiences I want them to experience and things
that they've always desired to experience. So So
I would say those are the 2 things.
Right? Impact, you know, whether it's through your
(41:35):
church or or non nonprofit,
and and experiences.
I love it. And it's different for everybody.
Yeah. Security is a big 1 for a
lot of folks. You are. It's probably 1
of the most popular.
Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.
For the sake of time, Alright, Jim last
question you're ready. It's really important.
If Jim
were to wrestle,
his 23 year old self right now.
(41:58):
What would the result be?
It would be so devastating ugly right now.
And I'm in really good shape. And here's
hot... Here's why I know this. Here's why
I know this.
I was a I was a division in
all American,
shortly after after college, I was, like,
beating up guys who were, you know, 2,
3 time all Americans in the Eva dressing
(42:18):
room. And and I was, like,
toe to toe with these guys and beating
them a lot of times, this is, you
know, 10 years after I stopped wrestling.
And
10 to 15 years after I stopped wrestling.
So, I'm more, like, 20 years after now,
I would say this... It was about 10
to 12 years after. Then once I,
got away from wrestling for a few years,
(42:38):
and I step back on the mat, and
I was wrestling with a guy on the
team. He was
nowhere near on all American, good wrestler or
national qualifier, but not an all American, and
he was, like,
just total control of me. And I'm like,
oh my goodness. Have I lost
a step, 2 or 3 or 5 steps.
So
so it'd be ugly.
(42:59):
So for for my wife IA6 year old
son, and she says he's not wrestling.
How handy of a life skill is wrestling?
This is coming from an a division 1
all American and and coach.
Tell jump. Look, I... I'm trying to be
is is as objective as possible.
It and
it is the greatest sport. And and here's
(43:21):
why I think that my belief is true.
Unless I know it's an opinion.
How many friends do you have and do
I have that played 5 friends who played
football
in in cut division college and wrestled
friends who were athletes in other areas.
I have a friend who is, well, He's
the national championship head head soccer coach it's
(43:42):
Uv. They've won bunch of several national championships.
Said wrestling is the hardest thing he's ever
done. He was a high school wrestler as
well.
I know so many athletes in that have
said wrestling is the hardest.
And it is the best sport it is
the 1 that prepared me most for life
and they prepared me most for any other
hard thing that I've done. And so
the mental tough that it requires, the the
(44:04):
individuality requires me to wake up and do
the hard thing me to not depend on
somebody else me to not blame somebody else.
Like, it is
such a necessary life scale for young people.
And it's handy. The... What what was Dan
Gables quote after wrestling everything is easy. Everybody
else is easy. Yeah. Not not to mention
(44:24):
the fact like this in self defense. I
feel like I can defend myself up against
anybody. You know? Like, it's just... There's a
level of confidence that comes with that too.
A hundred... At least you have a chance.
Right? Got a chance. Yeah. So... Alright, Jim.
Hey, appointment in 2 minutes, how do our
listeners get a hold of you if they
wanna find you? Yeah. I just Google my
name, Jim Harsh, HARSHAW.
(44:45):
If you go to jim Harsh, junior dot
com. You can book a free clarity call
with me, 1 time call. You can find
me on social media,
check out the podcast. Again, just go to
your for any podcast platform, Google my name,
you'll find success for the athletic mine demand,
and, and all the, you know, hundreds of
episodes So those are the 2 places, the
podcast and the website.
(45:06):
I love them man, hey, Listen. I appreciate
your time. I'm gonna see you in an
hour for our own coaching.
I do work with Jim. Disclaimer. Right?
I'll see you soon, Jim. Appreciate the time.
Thanks a lot, man. Have a great day.
Appreciate. Thank you for listening to the Dear
Rochester
retire well podcast.
The information represents the views and opinions of
the guest. And does not necessarily represent the
(45:28):
views and opinions of 6 point financial partners.
The content has been made available for informational
and educational purposes only.
The content is not intended to be a
substitute for professional investing advice.
Always seek the advice of your financial adviser
or other qualified
financial service provider with any questions you may
(45:50):
have regarding your investment planning.
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