Episode Transcript
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Jim (00:00):
Hello and welcome to this episode of Decide on Joy, a
podcast coming to you fromHarmony Spiritual Center in Fort
Worth, Texas.
My name is Jim Kovalt and
Pjae (00:11):
I'm Rev.
Dr.
P.
J.
Stanley and welcome to I'm soglad you're here today.
Jim (00:16):
And maybe, maybe it would be a good thing to just review
what this is about.
Why are we doing this?
We talked about that earlier.
And I think it would be a goodthing to mention it.
Pjae (00:26):
Exactly.
So, you know, it's always goodto know what your why.
You know, why are you doingwhatever it is you're doing?
Why are we here?
And we're here because webelieve, I believe, we believe
that, you know, we all have areason.
a purpose in life and we're allhere to live the best life that
we possibly can.
I don't know anyone that'ssaying, let me just go out and
have a bad life.
I don't think anybody does that.
(00:46):
And yet there's a lot ofconfusion about how to bring
that in.
We believe that we co create ourlives with this divine spirit.
And so if that's the case, thenwhat is our part in it?
How do we do, what are theprinciples that are involved?
What are the words we say?
How do we make sure that we aredoing our part to draw in and to
have the life that we're lookingfor?
(01:06):
So that's.
That's the reason why we do thisis so that we can help wherever
we can help people who havedecided that they want to get
their hands on the wheels oftheir life and create a life
that they want to live.
And so we just want to be ableto be helpful in that if we can.
That's what we're here for.
Okay.
Jim (01:23):
Yeah.
And today's topic, today's titleis the power of words.
Yes.
What is the power of words?
Pjae (01:34):
Words are so, they're, they shape how we think about
things.
The words that are in our heads,the words that come out of our
mouth, actually influence how webehave.
They influence what we, youknow, what we expect to come.
They're, they're just, it feelslike we're just saying just any
old thing, but we're really, wereally aren't.
(01:55):
That's Begin to understand thatwords have power to influence us
and to influence how, what wethink and to influence what
comes into our lives.
And we're going to get moreparticular about the words that
we use and what we say.
I want to start with a quotefrom the Bible, Luke 6 45 and
(02:16):
says this, the good man bringsgood things.
out of the good stored up in hisheart, and the mean spirited man
brings unkind thoughts out ofthe cruelty stored up in his
heart.
For out of the overflow of hisheart, his mouth speaks.
(02:41):
And so when we think about wordsthat are coming out of our
mouth, really the questionbecomes what's in our heart.
What does our heart believe?
What do we believe is possiblefor ourselves?
What do we, what do we, what'sour intention?
What do we think that we're herefor?
Or that, that we, that we canhave.
And so it's really about yourthoughts and all that, but
really the words that are comingout of your mouth are, are
(03:02):
influenced by what's going on inyour heart.
And how you feel about theworld, you and the world.
Jim (03:08):
So, but, a lot of people would think that, that your
emotions are in fact directingthe words.
And this is suggesting that itcouldn't be the other way
around.
I'm
Pjae (03:23):
suggesting that the emotions are coming from the
words you're using.
That's what I think.
I believe that the word that theemotion that you're feeling.
So if you, you think about it,you know, we're, we're driving
over here and I think I was slowtaking off from a, from a, from
a light earlier.
Just talking with you and youknow, who knows what was going
on in my head.
(03:43):
And the person behind me just,just slightly tapped.
And just beep, and I waved, youknow, I said, Thank you and and
moved on.
That's because there was for me,there was no need to get upset.
I was wrong.
I was slow.
I don't know who knows what theyhave going on in their lives.
I need to get going.
But what could have come out ofme was, and I'm not going to use
(04:04):
these words, but you know, Imean, traffic is a.
is one of the, one of theexamples that I use a lot for
the behaviors that we have andwhat, and the emotions that we,
the words that we use that Ibelieve cause a lot of emotion.
So if we don't look at somebodyand go, you're such a jerk, then
our behaviors aren't going tomanifest jerky stuff.
(04:25):
If we look at that person andgo, Oh, sweet baby, you know,
okay, it's okay.
You're, you're okay with me.
I'm okay.
And that's it.
Then how you're feeling about itis going to change.
So the power of how the wordsyou choose to use affects how
your heart's going to be.
It affects the behaviors you'regoing to have.
It really does.
And we have the power to choosethe words we want to use.
(04:47):
We have the power to think aboutthat
Jim (04:49):
and choose that.
And can also, I mean the way wetalk about affirmations and
positive affirmations andeverything you've got.
Those are meant to actually beable to affect the world, to
affect
Pjae (05:07):
what
Jim (05:08):
happens to you, not just how you feel.
Pjae (05:10):
It is, it is.
I think it does affect how youfeel, but yeah, it does.
Affirmations and so let me justback up a little bit.
Part of what goes on for us isis, is what we call the
collective consciousness, thecollective knowing that
everybody knows that you've gotto go to school for 12 years.
You've got to do that.
(05:31):
You know, there's just stuffthat everybody knows.
And sometimes things that, yeah,exactly.
He's doing your head like, what,what does everybody know?
Exactly.
Some of the things thateverybody knows isn't
necessarily true for you.
For you and yet you're usingthose words that people are
saying and you and you're takingthem on yourself And if you stop
to think what are the words it'slike that one from from I think
(05:54):
it's a line from The PrincessBride What is that word you keep
using?
I don't think it means what youthink it means So if we stop to
think what is that word that I'musing Why am I choosing to use
that word?
What do I really mean?
Or what am I trying to bringinto my life?
It's so powerful when you juststop for a second and think
about what you're saying andwhat the effect of those words
(06:17):
will have on you and the peoplearound you, particularly in
relationship.
And who is it in relationship?
Of all kind.
Jim (06:24):
Right.
Of all kinds.
Yeah, and it can be particularlyimportant there.
It's
Pjae (06:28):
particularly important.
Particularly important.
And we didn't talk about this.
We've talked about this in aprevious podcast.
I'm sure we'll talk about itagain, but, but it just in terms
of setting your intention.
So when you think about yourwords before you use them, the
question you could ask yourselfis what is my intention?
What is it that I'm trying to dobefore I speak?
(06:51):
Before I speak.
Particularly in a loverelationship, in a friend
relationship, in a familyrelationship, before you speak
and say something that someonecould misconstrue, because the
words are used, could be onething or another, Think about
what is my intention here andwhat do I want these words to
convey?
And that just thinking aboutthat would possibly help you
(07:13):
change the words and do wordsthat are, that are softer, that
are more heartfelt, and thatwill get across the actual
intention you meant instead ofgetting people flipping out
because you chose the wrongword.
Jim (07:24):
Yeah.
Particularly tricky.
Now that so much of ourcommunication is by email or
text message and That means thatyou're not seeing the reaction.
You are not.
So you don't necessarily knowthat they took those words in
the way you intended them.
You don't.
You know, it's, it's, it's veryhard.
I tried, if it, if it's a casewhere the, like an email has any
(07:45):
significance at all, I try andnot send it immediately.
Absolutely.
Because I can read it.
Let it sit for half an hour, goback and read it and say, Oh,
Pjae (07:53):
Oh, hang on, hang on.
Jim (07:56):
Could have phrased that differently.
Pjae (07:58):
And if you, that very point you're making about the
email, if we did that very thingwith the words we speak, instead
of just letting those words fireoff, the moment you think about
them, if you could just rereadthem.
You could just rethink aboutthem before you send them out.
Jim (08:13):
Yes.
Pjae (08:14):
You may change your mind because it's, it could very well
not get back the results you'relooking for.
Jim (08:18):
Produce some long lags in conversation.
Pjae (08:22):
You know, and that's so interesting that you, that you
say that, because I rememberit's, this is so impactful to
me.
And this happened back in, Ithink 1995, where I was at a, at
a women's conference and thespeaker, she was saying, you
know, when someone sayssomething or ask you something,
you don't have to answer rightaway.
And I just, and I said.
I just, I was up in arms aboutit in my own mind and I just
(08:44):
fired up, you know, after it wasover, just ran up to the, get in
line to speak with her.
And I, when I got to speak toher, I said, that is nonsense.
If someone says something, youhave to respond right back.
And she said, why?
Why do you have to respond rightback?
What would happen if you justpause to think about what they
said and what you would like torespond back?
(09:04):
Well, what happens?
Just try it right now.
Try it right now.
I'm talking to you.
What would happen if you justtook a second before you said
something back to me?
And it was powerful her tellingme to try it And so yeah, no,
you don't have to speak rightaway Just because someone you
can even say if you're going totake longer than it seems
necessary Just give me a second.
I want to I want to becontemplative Contemplative
(09:26):
about what you just said andrespond in a way that I actually
mean so give me a second What'swrong with saying that?
We just feel like we just gottago, like the conversation has to
go back and forth, back andforth really fast.
It does not.
It does not.
Even in your own mind, theconversation can slow down since
you can reflect on what is yourintention.
Jim (09:47):
Yeah, yeah, make a conscious effort to do that.
You have to sort of program to,to,
Pjae (09:53):
yes.
And I love what you said aboutthe fact that it has to be a
conscious effort.
This is what we're talkingabout.
This is what decide on joy isabout being consciously
intentionally looking at yourlife and saying, what do I want?
Why, why am I, we are on auto,auto, Autobehavior a lot.
Autoresponses a lot.
Because it's easier.
(10:13):
It's habit.
Habitual.
It's easier.
And not everything needs to beparticularly because we grow and
evolve.
So the way that you may haveresponded five years ago to
something might not be who youare right now, but you're
automatically responding tothat.
So again, you're just beingconsciously reflective about why
am I, what is my intention hereand what's the best way to do
(10:34):
that or say this.
Jim (10:35):
Right.
Pjae (10:36):
And even when you're talking to yourself, the same
thing.
Why am I saying this to myself?
I don't believe that about meanymore.
Jim (10:41):
Yeah.
Pjae (10:41):
I don't.
You know?
Jim (10:44):
Yes.
I, I'm frequently saying tomyself, why are you, why are you
thinking that?
Why are you saying that?
Exactly.
What?
Pjae (10:50):
One of the, one of the easiest ways to, to think about
that is your, your thoughts,whatever they are, about money.
We have a lot of, of collectiveconsciousness about money.
About money being the root ofall evil, and just so many
thoughts about money.
And so, when you find yourselfnot getting the, not having the
kind of abundance that you want,or, you know, not having the
(11:11):
money in your savings account,you can start to think about,
well, what would happen if I hadmoney?
And what is my concern abouthaving money?
Well, one of the concerns I hadwas, if you get a little money,
something's gonna come take itaway anyway.
So what's the, yes, I, yes, thatwas a, that was a thought that I
had, but I had to, I had toconsciously hear that.
(11:31):
And so whenever I was thinkingabout money, that other second
thought was in my mind.
So it actually stopped.
My ability to be abundant.
Hmm, right, right.
Jim (11:41):
Yeah, I can sort of recognize a different version of
that.
Okay Yeah
Pjae (11:49):
Exactly so words are powerful and we have a we have
the ability to decide what we'regonna say Decide on joy.
Decide on the words you want touse.
Decide on what you want yourlife to look like.
The power of decision.
Maybe that's another, anothertopic if we haven't already
spoken about that.
And even if we have, we'll talkabout it again.
Jim (12:05):
Maybe, maybe sideways we spoke about it, but I don't
think it's been an actual topic.
Yeah,
Pjae (12:11):
I think so.
Jim (12:12):
And so, yeah.
You can use words to get you outof a negative mindset.
Not just about money, but about
Pjae (12:20):
Exactly.
Jim (12:21):
Whatever.
Pjae (12:22):
Any number of things.
I, I, I, I shared this story, Ithink, one Sunday when I was And
I knew, even as I was doing it,I knew what was going on in my
mind was coming from the factthat I was super tired.
It should not have been aroundpeople to begin with.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
And so I had gone into a store.
(12:42):
I just wanted to quickly go getsomething and come back out
because I was tired, but Iwanted to get some milk before I
went home.
And jumped out of the car,grabbed the milk, Came to the
front to pay for it and had leftmy purse in the car, my wallet.
So, you know, I told the, the,the guy, the, the, the cashier
that I'm going to just drop mystuff right here and I'll come
right back and get it.
And he never looked at me,never.
(13:03):
So I'm thinking, so I had allkinds of stories in my head.
Oh, young people, he's not evenlistening to me.
I'm too old for, you know, juston and on and on in my head.
When I finally got to my car, Ijust thought, you are crazy
right now.
You're acting crazy.
Stop it.
You don't know this kid.
You don't know what's on hismind.
(13:24):
He wasn't thinking anythingabout you.
And in fact, I even had a thinggoing in my head about, I'm
going to talk to his manager.
What I had gone all the waydown.
And finally, by the time Iwalked in, I had calmed down and
realized it was just me and itturned out the kid was actually
pretty funny.
He did see me.
He did understand what I wassaying and he was joking with me
when I came back in.
(13:44):
So it was a whole differentscenario than I had imagined.
Jim (13:47):
How
Pjae (13:48):
many times have we done that?
Just gone on down the road witha scenario that's only in our
heads.
Nobody's thinking that.
But you.
Jim (13:55):
Right.
And you can, I think, the noteshere say we can, inspire change
with your words.
We can.
On a larger scale than just yourown.
Pjae (14:10):
Part of the, and I don't know that it's necessary, I
don't know if it's, it's, it's,when I was thinking about
inspiring change, I'm thinkingabout.
you know, inside you, that youbegin to, and I'm going to go
back to the money thing.
When I finally realized that Ihad those couple of thoughts
about it negative, as I wassaying, claiming that I wanted
more, there are other things inmy mind and it's inspired me to
(14:33):
say I know.
The universe is abundant.
I know this.
I know this in my, I know thisin my mind.
I don't know this in my heart.
So if I can just change thewords and change and let go of
something, let go of that secondvoice that was in my head and
go, and actually, when we talkedabout affirmations and did not
affirmations the other day, Idon't know if I talked about
affirmations and denials.
(14:55):
It's two things that worktogether.
You affirm something.
The universe is abundant.
And when something else comes upand says, Oh, but you're going
to, the money's going to goaway.
You can deny that.
That's not true.
And then come back with anaffirmative.
What is true is that theuniverse is abundant.
So when you try to do somethingback to your comment about
inspiring, you can inspirechange in yourself and in
(15:17):
others.
Because as you are movingforward, Changing the way your
relationship might look, youknow, I talked with you earlier
about about something that I,my, my, my former husband was
trying to share with me that Ididn't get for 10 years.
It literally 10 years for me tounderstand what he was saying.
And when I finally understood,it completely changed how I
(15:39):
looked at an argument.
It really, he was trying to tellme that we don't have to have
arguments.
What I want to do is understandyour point of view.
And I was looking at everyconversation we had as an
argument.
And that's not what he wastelling me, but it took me 10
years to understand that.
But finally I got it and itinspired me to be different.
(16:01):
It inspired me to heardifferently and not to put my
own judgments on things and say,and even just say, if I had a
thought about what you'resaying, I can just ask you, what
do you mean by that?
Instead of assuming, I couldjust say, I don't quite
understand that.
What do you mean?
Okay.
Well, what happened if you saidthat?
People want to explainthemselves.
(16:22):
People want to talk.
They want to be understood andheard.
Why can't we do that?
We can't.
And even within yourself, youcan even ask yourself, What in
the world are you talking about,girl?
Just, just like I did walkingout to that parking lot, just
acting crazy.
I had to talk to myself and say,stop that! That's insane.
Jim (16:40):
Well, let's hope that these words are, are having a bit of
inspiration for someone who'slistening and we thank you for
being here and look forward toyour being here next time.
Yes.
Thanks.
Pjae (16:52):
Thank you all so much for being here.
We'll see you next time.
Hello and welcome to this episode of Decide on Joy, a
podcast coming to you fromHarmony Spiritual Center in Fort
Worth, Texas.
My name is Jim Kovalt and
Pjae (00:11):
I'm Rev.
Dr.
P.
J.
Stanley and welcome to I'm soglad you're here today.
Jim (00:16):
And maybe, maybe it would be a good thing to just review
what this is about.
Why are we doing this?
We talked about that earlier.
And I think it would be a goodthing to mention it.
Pjae (00:26):
Exactly.
So, you know, it's always goodto know what your why.
You know, why are you doingwhatever it is you're doing?
Why are we here?
And we're here because webelieve, I believe, we believe
that, you know, we all have areason.
a purpose in life and we're allhere to live the best life that
we possibly can.
I don't know anyone that'ssaying, let me just go out and
have a bad life.
I don't think anybody does that.
(00:46):
And yet there's a lot ofconfusion about how to bring
that in.
We believe that we co create ourlives with this divine spirit.
And so if that's the case, thenwhat is our part in it?
How do we do, what are theprinciples that are involved?
What are the words we say?
How do we make sure that we aredoing our part to draw in and to
have the life that we're lookingfor?
(01:06):
So that's.
That's the reason why we do thisis so that we can help wherever
we can help people who havedecided that they want to get
their hands on the wheels oftheir life and create a life
that they want to live.
And so we just want to be ableto be helpful in that if we can.
That's what we're here for.
Okay.
Jim (01:23):
Yeah.
And today's topic, today's titleis the power of words.
Yes.
What is the power of words?
Pjae (01:34):
Words are so, they're, they shape how we think about
things.
The words that are in our heads,the words that come out of our
mouth, actually influence how webehave.
They influence what we, youknow, what we expect to come.
They're, they're just, it feelslike we're just saying just any
old thing, but we're really, wereally aren't.
(01:55):
That's Begin to understand thatwords have power to influence us
and to influence how, what wethink and to influence what
comes into our lives.
And we're going to get moreparticular about the words that
we use and what we say.
I want to start with a quotefrom the Bible, Luke 6 45 and
(02:16):
says this, the good man bringsgood things.
out of the good stored up in hisheart, and the mean spirited man
brings unkind thoughts out ofthe cruelty stored up in his
heart.
For out of the overflow of hisheart, his mouth speaks.
(02:41):
And so when we think about wordsthat are coming out of our
mouth, really the questionbecomes what's in our heart.
What does our heart believe?
What do we believe is possiblefor ourselves?
What do we, what do we, what'sour intention?
What do we think that we're herefor?
Or that, that we, that we canhave.
And so it's really about yourthoughts and all that, but
really the words that are comingout of your mouth are, are
(03:02):
influenced by what's going on inyour heart.
And how you feel about theworld, you and the world.
Jim (03:08):
So, but, a lot of people would think that, that your
emotions are in fact directingthe words.
And this is suggesting that itcouldn't be the other way
around.
I'm
Pjae (03:23):
suggesting that the emotions are coming from the
words you're using.
That's what I think.
I believe that the word that theemotion that you're feeling.
So if you, you think about it,you know, we're, we're driving
over here and I think I was slowtaking off from a, from a, from
a light earlier.
Just talking with you and youknow, who knows what was going
on in my head.
(03:43):
And the person behind me just,just slightly tapped.
And just beep, and I waved, youknow, I said, Thank you and and
moved on.
That's because there was for me,there was no need to get upset.
I was wrong.
I was slow.
I don't know who knows what theyhave going on in their lives.
I need to get going.
But what could have come out ofme was, and I'm not going to use
(04:04):
these words, but you know, Imean, traffic is a.
is one of the, one of theexamples that I use a lot for
the behaviors that we have andwhat, and the emotions that we,
the words that we use that Ibelieve cause a lot of emotion.
So if we don't look at somebodyand go, you're such a jerk, then
our behaviors aren't going tomanifest jerky stuff.
(04:25):
If we look at that person andgo, Oh, sweet baby, you know,
okay, it's okay.
You're, you're okay with me.
I'm okay.
And that's it.
Then how you're feeling about itis going to change.
So the power of how the wordsyou choose to use affects how
your heart's going to be.
It affects the behaviors you'regoing to have.
It really does.
And we have the power to choosethe words we want to use.
(04:47):
We have the power to think aboutthat
Jim (04:49):
and choose that.
And can also, I mean the way wetalk about affirmations and
positive affirmations andeverything you've got.
Those are meant to actually beable to affect the world, to
affect
Pjae (05:07):
what
Jim (05:08):
happens to you, not just how you feel.
Pjae (05:10):
It is, it is.
I think it does affect how youfeel, but yeah, it does.
Affirmations and so let me justback up a little bit.
Part of what goes on for us isis, is what we call the
collective consciousness, thecollective knowing that
everybody knows that you've gotto go to school for 12 years.
You've got to do that.
(05:31):
You know, there's just stuffthat everybody knows.
And sometimes things that, yeah,exactly.
He's doing your head like, what,what does everybody know?
Exactly.
Some of the things thateverybody knows isn't
necessarily true for you.
For you and yet you're usingthose words that people are
saying and you and you're takingthem on yourself And if you stop
to think what are the words it'slike that one from from I think
(05:54):
it's a line from The PrincessBride What is that word you keep
using?
I don't think it means what youthink it means So if we stop to
think what is that word that I'musing Why am I choosing to use
that word?
What do I really mean?
Or what am I trying to bringinto my life?
It's so powerful when you juststop for a second and think
about what you're saying andwhat the effect of those words
(06:17):
will have on you and the peoplearound you, particularly in
relationship.
And who is it in relationship?
Of all kind.
Jim (06:24):
Right.
Of all kinds.
Yeah, and it can be particularlyimportant there.
It's
Pjae (06:28):
particularly important.
Particularly important.
And we didn't talk about this.
We've talked about this in aprevious podcast.
I'm sure we'll talk about itagain, but, but it just in terms
of setting your intention.
So when you think about yourwords before you use them, the
question you could ask yourselfis what is my intention?
What is it that I'm trying to dobefore I speak?
(06:51):
Before I speak.
Particularly in a loverelationship, in a friend
relationship, in a familyrelationship, before you speak
and say something that someonecould misconstrue, because the
words are used, could be onething or another, Think about
what is my intention here andwhat do I want these words to
convey?
And that just thinking aboutthat would possibly help you
(07:13):
change the words and do wordsthat are, that are softer, that
are more heartfelt, and thatwill get across the actual
intention you meant instead ofgetting people flipping out
because you chose the wrongword.
Jim (07:24):
Yeah.
Particularly tricky.
Now that so much of ourcommunication is by email or
text message and That means thatyou're not seeing the reaction.
You are not.
So you don't necessarily knowthat they took those words in
the way you intended them.
You don't.
You know, it's, it's, it's veryhard.
I tried, if it, if it's a casewhere the, like an email has any
(07:45):
significance at all, I try andnot send it immediately.
Absolutely.
Because I can read it.
Let it sit for half an hour, goback and read it and say, Oh,
Pjae (07:53):
Oh, hang on, hang on.
Jim (07:56):
Could have phrased that differently.
Pjae (07:58):
And if you, that very point you're making about the
email, if we did that very thingwith the words we speak, instead
of just letting those words fireoff, the moment you think about
them, if you could just rereadthem.
You could just rethink aboutthem before you send them out.
Jim (08:13):
Yes.
Pjae (08:14):
You may change your mind because it's, it could very well
not get back the results you'relooking for.
Jim (08:18):
Produce some long lags in conversation.
Pjae (08:22):
You know, and that's so interesting that you, that you
say that, because I rememberit's, this is so impactful to
me.
And this happened back in, Ithink 1995, where I was at a, at
a women's conference and thespeaker, she was saying, you
know, when someone sayssomething or ask you something,
you don't have to answer rightaway.
And I just, and I said.
I just, I was up in arms aboutit in my own mind and I just
(08:44):
fired up, you know, after it wasover, just ran up to the, get in
line to speak with her.
And I, when I got to speak toher, I said, that is nonsense.
If someone says something, youhave to respond right back.
And she said, why?
Why do you have to respond rightback?
What would happen if you justpause to think about what they
said and what you would like torespond back?
(09:04):
Well, what happens?
Just try it right now.
Try it right now.
I'm talking to you.
What would happen if you justtook a second before you said
something back to me?
And it was powerful her tellingme to try it And so yeah, no,
you don't have to speak rightaway Just because someone you
can even say if you're going totake longer than it seems
necessary Just give me a second.
I want to I want to becontemplative Contemplative
(09:26):
about what you just said andrespond in a way that I actually
mean so give me a second What'swrong with saying that?
We just feel like we just gottago, like the conversation has to
go back and forth, back andforth really fast.
It does not.
It does not.
Even in your own mind, theconversation can slow down since
you can reflect on what is yourintention.
Jim (09:47):
Yeah, yeah, make a conscious effort to do that.
You have to sort of program to,to,
Pjae (09:53):
yes.
And I love what you said aboutthe fact that it has to be a
conscious effort.
This is what we're talkingabout.
This is what decide on joy isabout being consciously
intentionally looking at yourlife and saying, what do I want?
Why, why am I, we are on auto,auto, Autobehavior a lot.
Autoresponses a lot.
Because it's easier.
(10:13):
It's habit.
Habitual.
It's easier.
And not everything needs to beparticularly because we grow and
evolve.
So the way that you may haveresponded five years ago to
something might not be who youare right now, but you're
automatically responding tothat.
So again, you're just beingconsciously reflective about why
am I, what is my intention hereand what's the best way to do
(10:34):
that or say this.
Jim (10:35):
Right.
Pjae (10:36):
And even when you're talking to yourself, the same
thing.
Why am I saying this to myself?
I don't believe that about meanymore.
Jim (10:41):
Yeah.
Pjae (10:41):
I don't.
You know?
Jim (10:44):
Yes.
I, I'm frequently saying tomyself, why are you, why are you
thinking that?
Why are you saying that?
Exactly.
What?
Pjae (10:50):
One of the, one of the easiest ways to, to think about
that is your, your thoughts,whatever they are, about money.
We have a lot of, of collectiveconsciousness about money.
About money being the root ofall evil, and just so many
thoughts about money.
And so, when you find yourselfnot getting the, not having the
kind of abundance that you want,or, you know, not having the
(11:11):
money in your savings account,you can start to think about,
well, what would happen if I hadmoney?
And what is my concern abouthaving money?
Well, one of the concerns I hadwas, if you get a little money,
something's gonna come take itaway anyway.
So what's the, yes, I, yes, thatwas a, that was a thought that I
had, but I had to, I had toconsciously hear that.
(11:31):
And so whenever I was thinkingabout money, that other second
thought was in my mind.
So it actually stopped.
My ability to be abundant.
Hmm, right, right.
Jim (11:41):
Yeah, I can sort of recognize a different version of
that.
Okay Yeah
Pjae (11:49):
Exactly so words are powerful and we have a we have
the ability to decide what we'regonna say Decide on joy.
Decide on the words you want touse.
Decide on what you want yourlife to look like.
The power of decision.
Maybe that's another, anothertopic if we haven't already
spoken about that.
And even if we have, we'll talkabout it again.
Jim (12:05):
Maybe, maybe sideways we spoke about it, but I don't
think it's been an actual topic.
Yeah,
Pjae (12:11):
I think so.
Jim (12:12):
And so, yeah.
You can use words to get you outof a negative mindset.
Not just about money, but about
Pjae (12:20):
Exactly.
Jim (12:21):
Whatever.
Pjae (12:22):
Any number of things.
I, I, I, I shared this story, Ithink, one Sunday when I was And
I knew, even as I was doing it,I knew what was going on in my
mind was coming from the factthat I was super tired.
It should not have been aroundpeople to begin with.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
And so I had gone into a store.
(12:42):
I just wanted to quickly go getsomething and come back out
because I was tired, but Iwanted to get some milk before I
went home.
And jumped out of the car,grabbed the milk, Came to the
front to pay for it and had leftmy purse in the car, my wallet.
So, you know, I told the, the,the guy, the, the, the cashier
that I'm going to just drop mystuff right here and I'll come
right back and get it.
And he never looked at me,never.
(13:03):
So I'm thinking, so I had allkinds of stories in my head.
Oh, young people, he's not evenlistening to me.
I'm too old for, you know, juston and on and on in my head.
When I finally got to my car, Ijust thought, you are crazy
right now.
You're acting crazy.
Stop it.
You don't know this kid.
You don't know what's on hismind.
(13:24):
He wasn't thinking anythingabout you.
And in fact, I even had a thinggoing in my head about, I'm
going to talk to his manager.
What I had gone all the waydown.
And finally, by the time Iwalked in, I had calmed down and
realized it was just me and itturned out the kid was actually
pretty funny.
He did see me.
He did understand what I wassaying and he was joking with me
when I came back in.
(13:44):
So it was a whole differentscenario than I had imagined.
Jim (13:47):
How
Pjae (13:48):
many times have we done that?
Just gone on down the road witha scenario that's only in our
heads.
Nobody's thinking that.
But you.
Jim (13:55):
Right.
And you can, I think, the noteshere say we can, inspire change
with your words.
We can.
On a larger scale than just yourown.
Pjae (14:10):
Part of the, and I don't know that it's necessary, I
don't know if it's, it's, it's,when I was thinking about
inspiring change, I'm thinkingabout.
you know, inside you, that youbegin to, and I'm going to go
back to the money thing.
When I finally realized that Ihad those couple of thoughts
about it negative, as I wassaying, claiming that I wanted
more, there are other things inmy mind and it's inspired me to
(14:33):
say I know.
The universe is abundant.
I know this.
I know this in my, I know thisin my mind.
I don't know this in my heart.
So if I can just change thewords and change and let go of
something, let go of that secondvoice that was in my head and
go, and actually, when we talkedabout affirmations and did not
affirmations the other day, Idon't know if I talked about
affirmations and denials.
(14:55):
It's two things that worktogether.
You affirm something.
The universe is abundant.
And when something else comes upand says, Oh, but you're going
to, the money's going to goaway.
You can deny that.
That's not true.
And then come back with anaffirmative.
What is true is that theuniverse is abundant.
So when you try to do somethingback to your comment about
inspiring, you can inspirechange in yourself and in
(15:17):
others.
Because as you are movingforward, Changing the way your
relationship might look, youknow, I talked with you earlier
about about something that I,my, my, my former husband was
trying to share with me that Ididn't get for 10 years.
It literally 10 years for me tounderstand what he was saying.
And when I finally understood,it completely changed how I
(15:39):
looked at an argument.
It really, he was trying to tellme that we don't have to have
arguments.
What I want to do is understandyour point of view.
And I was looking at everyconversation we had as an
argument.
And that's not what he wastelling me, but it took me 10
years to understand that.
But finally I got it and itinspired me to be different.
(16:01):
It inspired me to heardifferently and not to put my
own judgments on things and say,and even just say, if I had a
thought about what you'resaying, I can just ask you, what
do you mean by that?
Instead of assuming, I couldjust say, I don't quite
understand that.
What do you mean?
Okay.
Well, what happened if you saidthat?
People want to explainthemselves.
(16:22):
People want to talk.
They want to be understood andheard.
Why can't we do that?
We can't.
And even within yourself, youcan even ask yourself, What in
the world are you talking about,girl?
Just, just like I did walkingout to that parking lot, just
acting crazy.
I had to talk to myself and say,stop that! That's insane.
Jim (16:40):
Well, let's hope that these words are, are having a bit of
inspiration for someone who'slistening and we thank you for
being here and look forward toyour being here next time.
Yes.
Thanks.
Pjae (16:52):
Thank you all so much for being here.
We'll see you next time.
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