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October 23, 2024 • 17 mins
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Jim (00:03):
Hello, and welcome to this episode of Decide on Joy, a
podcast coming to you fromHarmony Spiritual Center in Fort
Worth, Texas.
I'm Jim Covalt and

Pjae (00:16):
My name is Rev.
Dr.
P.
J.
Stanley and thank you so muchfor being here today.

Jim (00:20):
our topic today.
We, we always talk about some,some basic concept or at least
concept in, in new thoughtspirituality.
And so a brief explanation ofwhat that is.

Pjae (00:32):
Yeah.
So just when it comes tospirituality, the idea of new
thought and we explain thisbecause we know that there
really isn't anything new underthe sun.
But we're talking about becausethere's all this ancient wisdom,
but what we're talking about ispersonally Individually and just
as a group whatever being ableto have a new thought in your
own mind about something thatyou previously thought was true,

(00:54):
so we Invite you and we inviteourselves always to challenge
our thinking our beliefs ourvalues and ask the question Why
is that true?
And there'll be all kinds ofthings that'll come up in your
mind and your head, but why, whyis that true?
Why do I think that?
And so it's just about gettingmore clarity about your life so
that you can live the life youactually want to live.

(01:16):
So that's what we do here at NewThought.
Just challenge what we'rethinking.

Jim (01:19):
Yeah, clarity, an excellent thing.
Clarity.
And the topic today is, it'sabout courage and what courage
looks like and the importance ofbeing personally convicted.
Which we do not mean you'regoing to jail.
We

Pjae (01:32):
do not mean that kind of conviction.
No.
We mean that you have convictionof your thoughts and what you
believe.

Jim (01:39):
And so, courage, what is it in this context?

Pjae (01:42):
So I'm going to start off with what is not.
Because what, because peoplethink, a lot of people feel
like, oh I wish I wascourageous, I wish I had the
courage that that person has.
But it isn't something that youput on, that it's a cloak that
you wear, that when somethingoccurs that, that, that requires
courage, you just put on yourcourage shirt or your courage

(02:03):
hat and you're courageous.
No, it is a decision on yourpart.
So courage is simply having theclearest, clearest vision or
insight within yourself aboutwhat needs to be done in that
moment, over time, just whateverneeds to be done, regardless of
whether it's, whether you'regoing towards safety or danger.

(02:25):
So that's not a part of yourthinking when it comes to
courageous.
This needs to be done.
And so safety or danger could bea physical danger where you
might be in the way ofsomething, or it could be
emotional danger for you.
Like you feel like your heartmight it's, it's running towards
the, the danger because you areconvicted and you have no other
choice because of what youbelieve and think.

Jim (02:48):
We tend to, well I anyway tend to think of courage, you
know, as being, you know, likewhat you need in war.
Courage

Pjae (02:57):
under fire.

Jim (02:58):
Yeah.
That line of country.
But yeah, I mean, it might takecourage even to think about
some.

Pjae (03:08):
Absolutely, I love that you said that.
Because you, because we'realways talking about thinking,
and sometimes you already know,your heart or your mind knows
that if you go down this path,there's going to be some hurt
there.
And, but, and you also know thatit's necessary to go down this
path.
path.
But it takes courage for you togo down that path and, and step

(03:30):
into something that you knowfrom, at the beginning is going
to cause some pain for you.
And you're not sure how you'regoing to get out of it.
You don't know what's actuallygoing to be down that path.
And so yes, it takes courage tostep into, or step into the
breach, step off the cliff,whatever.
It takes courage to do that.

Jim (03:46):
And sometimes to then claim whatever you discovered there.
A whole lot of

Pjae (03:50):
stars, yes, to actually own that.
Once you get there, that was mymess, doggone it.

Jim (03:59):
Or, or even sometimes just to, to have an independent
thought that's not Comingstraight off of whatever you're
getting on the internet orwhatever, you know, that also.

Pjae (04:10):
Exactly.
That's also a matter of courageto hear something, and I want to
particularly because we're goinginto the holidays, and that can
be a rough time around familyand friends.
for many people.
And one of the things I knowthat happens is you get around
the table eating whatever you'redoing around the group, and

(04:31):
they're just saying some stuffthat you just know for yourself
is not true.
And sometimes you're waging warwithin yourself whether you
should step into the fray andsay pardon me.
That is not what I know to betrue.
Because It's a fight on yourhands.
Yeah, and sometimes you're justnot ready for the fight.

Jim (04:50):
Yeah, I mean a different kind of courage Courage to say I
don't have to do that.
I don't

Pjae (04:54):
have to do that.
Exactly So I'm glad you againbrought that up because a
courage I started with the thingcourage is a decision So it's
not just about the decision ofstepping into the fray of
speaking your mind of whateverthat is, but it's giving
yourself the grace and the theempathy to say, I'm not ready
for that.

(05:14):
I will, I'm going to dosomething.
I'm just not going to dosomething right now.
That is okay.
That's actually not a cop out.
If you know in your heart,you're actually going to do
something, but you need toprepare for it.
In your heart and get yourselftogether before you do it.
That's a good thing for you.
That's loving yourself as well.

Jim (05:30):
Yeah.
And so, how do you get there?
How do you, how do you achievethe, the state from which you
can develop courage?
Right.
As for, yeah.

Pjae (05:41):
I think, I think that, you know the, the, the the, the
definition that I said is thatyou are convicted about
something.
And so how you get convicted,how you have the, the personal
conviction about something hasto do with what you believe is
right or wrong.
And everyone has a different setof beliefs and values and they

(06:04):
are prioritized in differentways.
And so, you, you, you can tellwhat you believe or what you are
convicted about or what you willstep into.
One of the easiest ways is byhow angry you get about
something.
If you see something and yourheart tells you it's not right,
it's wrong Like a dog getskicked or a kid gets slapped or

(06:25):
something that just goes againstand it hurts your heart.
You know that that is wrong.
Now you may think, okay, wellthat's a mom and dad and that's
a kid and I don't know if I wantto get involved in that.
And so you may decide not to,but, but that, that, that begins
to tell you the things that youare convicted about are the
things that actually bother you.
And whether you're going to dosomething about that or not, are

(06:47):
another set of parameters.
But that's what tells you whatyou believe.
That's one of the easiest waysto know.

Jim (06:54):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And and it's what you believe istrue and not necessarily what's
true.
What you've been told is true,yeah?

Pjae (07:04):
Exactly correct.
And so this is, so again, youknow, what we're talking about
here at New Thought, here atHarmony Spiritual Center, is
claiming your own life.
And we encourage you to thinkabout what it is you actually do
believe, what it is you actuallyvalue.
Is it something that you believeor value because that's what you

(07:25):
were raised to believe andvalue?
Or is it something that isactually yours?
Because if it's something thatyou were raised to believe and
value and not necessarily fromyour family, could be the
family, could be the school thatyou went to, could be your
friends, your group, could beyour community but if it's
something that, that thecommunity believes and your

(07:46):
family, the family's community,they believe, but in your heart,
you don't.
Then, but you're doing it anywaybecause that's how it always
goes.
Those are the things I encourageyou to take a look at and think,
why does it need to go that way?
If that's not what you believe,you have the right to live the
life you want to live.

(08:06):
One man, you know, so one man,one vote, one man, one woman,
one life.
And so, I don't get to tell you.
What's important to you.
You don't get to tell someoneelse what's important to them.
So if you you know, if you findyourself getting upset about
something and then starting toask yourself, Wait a minute,
that didn't even bother me.
Why, why am I jumping into thefray on this one?

(08:27):
Because your friends are.
And there is something likeloyalty.
So sometimes, so maybe you'rejumping into it because, because
loyalty means something to you.
And so you want to be loyal toyour friends or your family or
whatever.
And so.
looking at what you value andwhat you believe and how they're

(08:48):
prioritized.
So if hurting someone, hurtingsomeone's feelings, physically
hurting someone is a, you don't,you don't think that's the right
thing to do is a higher prioritythan being loyal, you see?
Then if you have a friend whoyou're loyal to, but they are
hurting someone, You see, howit's really important for you to

(09:09):
know what's, what you value andwhat you actually believe in, so
that you get to live the life ofyour choosing.
You're not actually livingsomeone else's life, someone
else's beliefs.

Jim (09:20):
Right, and, and, So, what I'm hearing anyway is that in
any particular moment, you mightbe making a different choice
from what you would have inanother situation.
That is correct.
The courage doesn't always lookthe same in every circumstance.
It does

Pjae (09:36):
not always look the same because again, it depends on
what the importance of whatmatters to you is and everything
can't be at one.
At one, at the highest percent.
So, I love you, and love isimportant, and kindness is
important, and peace isimportant.
They can't all be number one,the most important thing.
So, you have to make a decision.

(09:58):
That, that, whatever it is, andprioritize your, your list of
what's valuable to you.
So you'll know.
This is what I call your, your,your DMR, your daily road map.
For when you step out of thehouse, you know who you are and
who you're trying to show up as.
So that when you go to bed atnight, you feel like, okay, I
showed up the way I wanted toshow up.
I didn't show up on autopilot.

(10:20):
I didn't show up because this iswhat was expected of me from my
family or my church or myschool.
I showed up as me because I knowhow I want to show up and what's
important to me.
So yeah, depending on what's,what the situation is, like I
said about loyalty or hurtingsomebody, if hurting someone is

(10:40):
below loyalty, then you would beloyal to your friends or your
family or whoever you're loyalto and not say anything about
someone being hurt.
Because loyalty was moreimportant to you.
So yes, it just depends on howyou define it and prioritize it
and the set of sit and what'sgoing on in a situation because

(11:01):
no situation has just one thinggoing on that I can be aware of.
I mean, we're very complicated,you know, we're very complicated
and we can think and we canfeel.
There's a lot going on at anyone time with a situation.

Jim (11:13):
Yeah, that's the interesting thing about the
daily road map, I admit I don'talways consult that map.
Yes.
No.

Pjae (11:25):
Yeah, exactly.
So one of the, the, anotherthing that I want to, I want to
share with you, I'm glad yousaid that, was because these are
just suggestions.
These are ideas these are waysin which to be if it's something
that you want to do.
If you're looking at your lifeand you're, and you think, Hmm,

(11:47):
this isn't quite how I thoughtit was going to turn out.
This isn't quite who I wanted tobe.
These are ways in which you canbegin to examine your life and
say, well, why is that the case?
What would you like it to looklike?
Why isn't it looking like that?
What's not in your life?
What, what are you not allowingto come into your life?
Because the universe isabundant.

(12:07):
And whatever you think, whateveryou think is what you draw into
your life.
So you can change what youthink.
This is again about a newthought.
You can change your thoughts.
And actually change what youdraw into your life.
So, we're, to me that's greatnews.
So we don't ever have to, tojust live with something we

(12:29):
don't want to.
And we get to understand how tokeep living the life we want if
it's going great.
Or if there's a piece of itgoing great.
And of course, There's alwayschange.
There's always something thathappens, whether it's a job
change, a relationship change,the change of a city all kinds,
change of a school.
There's all kinds of things thatchange.

(12:51):
So if you find yourself steppinginto a new situation and you
take with you your daily roadmap, who you know you are, then
whatever that community rulesare, you step in it knowing
whether you're going to gocompletely with those community
rules or not.
Because that's not how you are.
And you're going to show up inevery situation, in every place
you are,

Jim (13:11):
as you.
Right.
And, and, you're my, that, thatroadmap.
I'm just referring back tosomething else you said, but it
has probably undergone somerevision along the way.

Pjae (13:24):
Yes.
I'm saying thank you so muchhere because you're asking great
questions and you're exactlycorrect.
So my own personal roadmap, andI suggest because there's many,
many, many things that we value,but I suggest that your daily
roadmap is simply the top five.
Just have that in your mind,your top five values.

(13:45):
When you step out the door, whenyou wake up in the morning, you
just affirm that that's whatthey are.
And when you step out the doorand go about your business,
those five are in your mind.
So let's just say, you say thatkindness is one of them, or
peace is one.
Loving other, loving people isone.
Your spirituality is another.
Those things are in your mind,so as you go through life or you
meet someone or you're just inline and someone has done

(14:07):
something really crazy andyou're ready to crack them one
you can refer back to your DRMand say, well that's not showing
up as peace, if I want to hitsomebody upside the head.
That's not being me.
So you get to decide.
And then, as you're goingthrough your day, as you're

(14:28):
going through the week, asyou've gone through the month,
and you keep revisiting that,and every morning you say that
this is a priority, but you've,at some point you discover, you
know what?
Peace is actually my toppriority.
So I'm not going to have it downat three.
I'm going to bring the peace andbe the peace everywhere I want
because I find out As I'm goingthrough my life, that that is

(14:48):
really important to me.
So you switch the priorityaround.
Or you drop it off altogether.
You know, that doesn't matter tome at all.
I don't know why I thought thatdid, but it doesn't.
It turns out, as I'm goingthrough my life, that actually
doesn't show up as somethingthat matters to me to be in my
top five.
What matters to me more iscaring about people, showing up

(15:09):
for somebody, you see.
So yes, it's revised all thetime.
So

Jim (15:12):
you can just make that change, but you don't have to go
back and think, oh, I shouldhave done this, I should have
not I wasted my time with that.

Pjae (15:21):
No.
Every, everything we do, nothingis a waste because you're
learning.
We are learning in everythingthat we do.
And you're learning more aboutyourself.
There, there, there, we're, as Isaid earlier, our minds, our
hearts, our emotions, very, verycomplex.
Sometimes we want to besomething that we think is a

(15:42):
good thing to be.
But it really isn't who we are.
And not until you go down thatpath can you even recognize, you
know what, that's a waste oftime.
It isn't me.
So why would you be upset thatyou found out a truth about
yourself?
Now you can actually say, youcan just let that go with no
problem.
And now actually be more of whoyou are.
So I don't believe anything wedo, even the worst of

(16:03):
experiences even if your hearthas been broken, you, there is
something there for you.
There's something there for youto know.
And to learn, and that is one ofthe reasons why we talk about
experiences by themselves don'thelp you.
Examined experiences is whathelps you.
So to take a look at something,examine it, and say, Why did

(16:26):
that happen?
That's not what I would havewanted to have happened.
How did, and it's only good tolook at what your role was in it
because you can't change whatanybody else does.
So,

Jim (16:36):
alas, no, you can't.
As much as

Pjae (16:39):
we would like for people to follow our own advice, tell,
you know, we can tell themwhat's good for them.
Nobody's listening to that.
Nobody's listening to that.
So examine your own heart andwhat you want to do and you can
change that and that's all thepower you need.
That's all the power you need.

Jim (16:55):
Okay, that's probably a good place to stop for this
episode and thank you all forbeing here And thank you PJ and
we will see you next time.

Pjae (17:05):
Absolutely.
Thank you, Jim
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