June 30, 2025 • 33 mins
With the 4th of July I had thoughts of celebrating. I realized I have a struggle with celebrating myself and my accomplishments. Setting goals and the rewards for achieving them is a new thing for me, and I suck at it. I hit a goal in January, I am just now planning my celebration trip for it.
Sitting back and looking at what has been accomplished in my life without any fanfare. I need to learn to reward myself for my hard work, dedication, and sometimes sacrifice for a job well done.
Learning new things and becoming the person you need to be, is a job in itself. It is needed to hit a new goal, take on a new step in your career. You can't achieve new steps with the knowledge you have to get where you are now. You must go deeper and increase your information to be ready for that next step. Lets dive into How to get there.
Send me a message if you have any comments.
Thank you for listening. Share this episode with a friend that you think would enjoy it.
I would love it if you took the time to leave a rating or review for the show.
Want me to go more in-depth about anything? Let me know.
Send an email with questions to skahrhoff@live.com.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Shannon Kahrhoff (00:02):
Hello, welcome to Decoding Clients for
Stylists.
I'm Shannon Kahrhoff.
Today I wanna go over somecelebrations.
You think about your life, howmany things you've accomplished.
I will be honest.
I have to sit and think aboutthings that are accomplishments
and how I handle'em.
(00:23):
One of my educational outletsthat I do was for this podcast.
And in there it talks aboutcelebrating everything,
celebrating your failures,celebrating your
accomplishments, and we wrotedown at the beginning, what are
we gonna do to reward ourselvesfor accomplishing this step or
(00:44):
that step?
And I'll be honest, I fail atrewarding myself for achieving
things.
To me, I'm the mentality that Iknow I'm going to get it
accomplished.
It's just a done deal.
It's just a matter of when it'sgonna be done.
So the idea rewarding myselfnever really occurred to me much
(01:07):
until this class.
So I had to go through mypaperwork from the beginning of
the class in October and remindmyself what I was going to
celebrate with when I achievedthis goal.
Well, guess what?
It was a trip to Arkansas to godig for crystals.
(01:27):
I love going to Arkansas.
I love it.
I love the red clay.
I love the hills, the trees,just the energy in Arkansas, it
feels like home.
And one day I will live inArkansas and I'll be very happy,
but.
I never let myself go toArkansas.
There were so many other thingsI needed to achieve, and I
(01:50):
didn't feel like it was theright time to go to Arkansas and
enjoy my time.
Digging in the dirt, sitting upon top of the mountain or the
hill of Arkansas and lookingover the landscape of it, the
smelling of the fresh air oftrees and pine and raw dirt.
It's just, it's my heaven.
(02:10):
So after finding that paper ofwhere I wrote down my goal and
my reward, I realized what am Iholding myself back for?
I absolutely love going there.
I have steady income.
I can afford to go travel and dowhatever I want in whatever
manner I want right now.
And.
(02:32):
It is just taking that time awayfrom work and letting myself
enjoy my time.
So I was thinking and processingand well, I decided I also was
gonna sign up into another classof training and lo and behold,
this company is in Arkansas andit's about an hour away from
(02:52):
where I want to be up on a hillwithout any cell service.
And.
I want to just enjoy my time inpeace and quiet and clear
thinking.
The phone can't ring anddistract me.
It is my ultimate reward.
I don't have to be on call allthe time ready to respond to
(03:12):
anyone or anything.
The next class was in June orSeptember.
June.
I couldn't do, there's just toomuch on my books already, but
September it's happening.
So I have two days I'll bespending in class, in person,
stretching my brain, probablyfreaking myself out with goals
and accomplishments andstretching my thinking and my
(03:35):
belief to achieve my next goalin my career and honestly in my
own life.
And then the rest of the weekI'm going to drive an hour away
and hopefully stay in my littleone room cabin with a stream
behind it and birds flying andchirping and enjoying my time.
(03:57):
So it might've taken nine monthsfor me to actually reward myself
with my accomplishment that Ipromised myself, but it'll be
well worth it.
I'll be in a better mind spacethan I was at the beginning.
Because I have achieved, I'veproven to myself that I can be
(04:17):
consistent, that I am findingmore of my voice with this and
achieving it.
Last week, I started my secondseason in the podcast because I
felt like it was time for alittle bit of a pivot.
Yes, I love my personality code.
To me, that's still my corefoundation of how I approach
people, especially in my career,but also one-on-one in public.
(04:40):
I can look at them and I know alittle bit more of how to talk
to them, to approach'em, tooffer my time and, and accept
them for who they are.
Just in the realm that Iunderstand personalities.
So I feel like it is gettingcloser for me to take that time
(05:04):
away to.
Let myself rest and repositionmy thinking and my strategy and
to me, this is fantastic.
I know I just babbled on for somany minutes about what I am
gifting myself in my time, but.
(05:25):
I'm trying to learn how toreward myself and understand how
to take a step back from thehustle of my life, from going
from one thing to the other tothe other, and remember to take
that pause and remind myself howfar I've come and how far I want
(05:46):
to go yet.
If that means that I have to putit off just for a little bit,
for me to actually feel at peacewith my decision and understand
it, to me, this is great becausefor many years I haven't gifted
myself anything for putting allthis effort and time and energy
(06:07):
into so many other things andnot so much myself.
So today I wanna go over some ofthe accomplishments that I feel
like I have achieved in thislife.
I have 29 years as ahairstylist, and who would've
thought that I'd be 29 years in?
Still love doing hair, stilllove having that one-on-one time
(06:32):
with my clients and being a partof their everyday life.
Now it is going to pivot alongthe way as I get older, and I am
trying to break my clients intoit a little bit more, but it's
hard'cause I can't a hundredpercent say where I'm going to
be, what I'm gonna be doing andhow it's gonna happen.
(06:56):
Because to me that's notimportant.
I know it's gonna happen.
I know I'm making the choicesnow and the pivots along the way
to go to the area that I want.
That I will be, because I'vegrown, learned, and I'm taking
classes to better myself and tostretch my belief and my
(07:17):
mindset, and I think that's hugebecause if you don't change and
grow and learn to become better,to go towards something more
that you want outta your life.
What are you gonna do?
Your same thinking can't takeyou to a whole different level
unless you're really ready toinvest in stretching your, your
(07:38):
time and your mind, and notletting other people deter you
from everything.
If you don't believe inyourself, I can guarantee most
other people don't.
Because when you take a big leapin a different direction, a lot
of people are automaticallygonna be like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're a lemming.
(07:59):
You're supposed to follow us offthis ledge over here that they
said is the promised land.
And if you don't follow us,you're making us look bad.
So what the heck are youthinking?
You are strange.
You are different.
You are off the wall.
Crazy.
Who has ever been called crazybefore because she chose to go
against the grain?
(08:20):
Well, that's me because I havealways, I like to follow rules
until I think the rules arestupid, and then I like to
create my own path.
So I've started off in thiscareer and I have done crazy
stupid things at times, and whenit's not the right space for me
(08:42):
to work in anymore, and I'vetried growing and changing and
they are in the same spot, mythinking isn't aligned the same
way I leave.
I go find the next opportunity,the next thing, because yes,
it's scary.
Yes, it's different.
Yes, it costs money to changefrom one place to another.
But sometimes the pain ofstaying the same is worse than
(09:05):
the pain of change.
And if you are too scared ofwhat could happen by taking that
leap off a different direction,you're always gonna stay put in
the same spot.
It's painful because you alreadyknow what's gonna happen.
You already have been livingthis life for so long.
Why don't you give yourpermission to try something new?
(09:28):
But this is me.
You know, I'm the crazy one.
So being different has its upsand its downs, but you have to
believe in yourself andunderstand wholeheartedly that
what you're trying to accomplishis achievable.
In 98, all of a sudden I got awild hair and decided that I
wanted to go do massage therapy.
(09:50):
I loved cutting hair, but I feltlike there was more in my life
that I needed to do.
I do not do massage therapyanymore.
It really was not my thing.
It was the experience of movingaway and learning what I did
through that time in Arkansasand the people I met and the
knowledge I got from my time inmassage therapy school.
(10:12):
That I believe was the biggestchange.
I felt like I could finally getaway from the shadow of what
everyone expected me to be andwho I was in the past, and I
could actually figure out who Iam personally.
I think this is why it'sfantastic for young kids to go
away to college because you'reaway from your parents'
expectations.
(10:32):
You're away from your friends'expectations and influence, and
you're allowed to go test outthe waters of who you wanna be.
And it's miraculous because youdon't know what you don't know
out there.
And if you are too scared tochange, I'm, I'm sorry, it's
kind of a sad life becauseyou're too scared of failing and
(10:56):
it was hard out there.
I didn't know anyone moving toFayetteville, and it was the
best thing ever.
I met some amazing people that Iwas in massage therapy school
with.
I met some nice people at thesalon that I worked at when I
was there, and I got tounderstand the joy of working in
the mall in the Christmasseason.
(11:17):
The good, the bad, the ugly, butbecause I chose something
different, it was amazing.
So I did that in 98, 99.
I came back to Illinois.
I did hair and I did massagetherapy and it was an adjustment
to my life.
But along the path, somethingelse different.
(11:40):
Became a single mom.
It was totally a surprise.
Was not expecting, it, did nothave, that person there to do
the long haul with me.
But it was to me a gift fromGod.
And it was something that I knewI had to do and to achieve.
And it was the biggest lesson Iever learned in my life.
(12:02):
But it was the most magicalthing, scarier than I'll get
out, but amazing.
So I became a single mom andlater down the road when she was
around five years old, that'sthe time I took the big leap and
started trying to homeschool herbecause with my job schedule,
(12:23):
you can't be an active mom.
You are either.
Working during the day, whichwas not the hours that were
strong for me in the salon lifeand.
You had to have a support ofsomeone to be there in the
evening to pick'em up fromschool, to make'em dinner, to do
homework with, to get him tobed.
(12:45):
I didn't have that.
That was not my life.
So my choice was either jump outof this career that I absolutely
love.
I love making people beautiful.
I love creating new looks anddifferent things.
And.
That was my whole thing.
So my choice was send mydaughter to school and go change
my career.
(13:05):
Go find a job behind the deskthat paid me hourly, gave me
insurance, and gave meretirement, and whatever else.
The perks of being an employeeis.
And hate it because I can't sitbehind a desk.
I have a hard time sitting downnow doing this podcast because
(13:27):
this is not my strength.
It's the sitting, still workingon a computer is rough.
In fact, I was just thinking,I'm gonna get myself a chair so
I can do this.
Sitting in a chair, comfy, but Icould not see myself sitting at
a desk for the rest of my lifedoing paperwork and monotonous
details.
(13:47):
That is not who I am.
So I took the hurdle and didhomeschooling.
I changed my hours.
I went in later, found ababysitter for Grace that could
actually happen in theafternoon.
My mom was willing to pick herup and feed her supper and do
the things in the evening untilI got home.
So.
(14:08):
Grace didn't have homework.
She didn't have thoseresponsibilities at night.
I did that in the mornings andwhen Grace was older, she was
able to do her own assignmentsafter I was at work.
It was easier for her to figureout her own time schedule, what
worked better for her thinkingand her, her own personal
strengths.
(14:29):
So I battled on, I was a singlemom who owned my own business.
I'm a self-employed hairstylist.
That's a struggle there too, attimes.
And then I was a homeschool mom.
So you tell people you are asingle mom and you homeschool
your child and they look at youlike, oh, you must get some
(14:50):
great money from the father.
Hmm.
Yeah.
You can believe that.
Sure.
Go ahead.
I.
I found my own path by leavingsalons that I had to leave
because it wasn't good for me.
Some of it was dead ends.
Some of it was limitingthinking.
Some of it was just toxic.
And until you have your ownbusiness and realize how hard it
(15:15):
is for moving one salon toanother, to try and hope that
all of your clientele love youenough to follow you to the next
place.
It was all in one town.
It wasn't like it was even 10miles away from each other, but
it's still changing locationsand hoping that you have the
context for those clients tofollow you.
(15:36):
This is a huge hurdle, so.
I've done that multiple times,so I'm a pro at it now, but I'm
hoping I'm at this spot untilI'm done doing hair.
But that is jumping off a ledge,hoping for the best because I
did take a leap from a hardsalon to a nightmare salon to
(15:58):
heaven on earth.
And I wouldn't have taken thefirst step to go to a different
salon.
I would not have made it to thenext salon where I understood
good business and good owners ofa salon and understanding their
mentality and how they got towhere they are now, I would've
missed all of that because Iwould've just stayed in the same
(16:21):
place expecting the same bad payand the same small town
mentality.
That was not what I wanted.
It was not something I thrivedon.
So these are some of the thingsI should have been celebrating
because I did the hurdles, I didthe jumping, but it was survival
(16:41):
to me.
It's something that I felt deepin my soul that I needed to do
and to create, and I had to findthe strength to keep doing it.
But I did learn along the waybecause I learned so many
different things by joining aleadership development business.
That was not something I everthought I would join.
Because it was definitely notthe same thing it was when I
(17:05):
first joined, but it taught meso many beliefs and confidence
and leadership skills andconfidence builders.
It.
It.
It is amazing.
I hear these quotes coming outof my mouth sometimes.
I'm like, oh yeah, I can hearthat person saying that up on
(17:26):
stage.
And it's in my vocabulary nowbecause this is something that I
was told through this, theseyears of being a part of it.
Do you realize how many peoplelaughed in my face'cause they
thought I was an idiot forjoining it because I didn't make
much money off of it.
(17:46):
I still see that person's facelaughing at me and looking at me
in a bar.
We were sitting in a bar and theone time I go out with so-called
friends and this girl looks atme across the town.
She's like, so how's yourbusiness?
I am like, it's good.
Doing pretty good.
I'm, I'm happy.
(18:06):
I'm learning lots of stuff.
She was like, really?
How much money have you made?
And I'm like, Hmm, not much.
But I can tell you a lot ofstuff that I've learned, I've
learned, I've grown, I'veachieved, it's pretty amazing
because through all of thatknowledge, it made me something
much better than I ever couldhave achieved ever on my own,
because I became a bettermother, daughter, family member,
(18:32):
a better hairstylist all the wayaround because I started
learning how to talk to people,how to relate to them, how to
become a quiet leader aroundpeople because it's an unspoken
thing that so many people need.
Do you realize how many people,how many people's lives I've
(18:53):
changed by being a, an activelistener, letting them express
themselves and asking them thequestions that I know where
these questions can lead them ifthey let themselves go down that
path.
But I would've not known any ofthat stuff.
I would've been the idiotstraight with only knowledge
from cosmetology school on howto talk to people on how to
(19:15):
understand.
Okay.
Without them talking to medirectly about what expectations
they want without understandinghow to carry myself and how to
know so many things about myselfthat only came from those books,
from those CDs, from thosespeeches up on stage, because
(19:38):
that's not normal informationyou get from being a
hairstylist, from staying in asmall town.
I was able to learn so much fromso many different leaders that
were growing and changing andchallenging themselves.
I learned from people that hadchallenges in their life and how
they overcame it, how theybecame confident enough to
(20:00):
become a millionaire to help somany different people in the
same kind of struggles and more,they learned how to rise
themselves in the world, how toinvest in things, how to invest
in themselves, and how to becomea better leader so that they
(20:20):
could grow and change and leadeven more people.
But by knowing that.
Most people didn't see thechange that it was happening to
me because I was quiet.
Because whenever you're changingwho you are and you're doing a
different path, I was notconfident enough to scream it
off the roof, because no oneunderstood what the heck I was
(20:43):
doing.
No one understood by me sittingdown and reading this book
either in between a break fromclients, from the hour I get at
home, after I get my daughter tosleep, before I go to sleep
myself.
I had that time to invest in mymind, in my thinking, in my
belief systems, and learning howto implement it into my life I
(21:06):
never understood how to put itinto my career that happened on
its own.
This whole.
Decoding clients.
This all happened.
It evolved because what I waslearning and implementing into
my own life slowly evolved intothis knowledge.
It wasn't overnight.
I slowly read it and put it intouse, and all of a sudden,
(21:31):
honestly, it was a long timelater when I was doing this.
A six figure stylist andmillionaire era class that I
really understood exactly what Ihad in my head.
Whenever you're just putting itinto use, you don't realize how
much you actually know until youhave to list out different
(21:54):
things and break it down.
My thinking it was, honestly, itwas kind of shocking to me that
I actually knew something thatcould help other people because.
I don't celebrate myself.
I don't sit and understand howfar I've come.
It is my path.
It is my journey, and it is oneof those things that I, I still
(22:21):
don't know how I got heresometimes because there's so
many times I fell to my kneespraying for help, praying for
change.
And to be the person I needed tobe, to be able to recover from
these things in my life, toguide me to the path that I need
to take, and it happened.
(22:41):
I am now looking back at where Iam, thinking about all the
prayers, all of the goals, allof the financial settings that I
have wanted in my life, and I'mgetting there.
I need to celebrate myselfbecause when I sat in a class in
(23:02):
2022 and they asked you to writedown what is your financial
goal?
What is your dream income?
I wrote it down.
Okay thinking, literallythinking, huh, this would be
fantastic.
Oh my God, if only I achievedthis many zeros in my income,
(23:23):
that would be phenomenal.
Well, guess what?
I broke down crying a a fewweeks ago because I was going
through my education that I'mdoing and I had to write down my
income and so I figured it outand estimated out if I keep this
going, I will achieve thatincome this year.
(23:44):
Now I can't sit back on my mybutt and wait for it to happen.
I still have to grow and buildand become, and I still have to
have that work ethic.
That all has to be implementedin, and I have to stay active
and in there.
But to know that I'm this closeto achieving this financial goal
(24:08):
from three years ago, and Ithought it was so unattainable.
But you know, gradual stepsalong the way, reminding myself
that I am worth more.
It is okay.
I am wonderful with hair.
Am I perfect?
Heck no.
I don't know anyone.
That's perfect.
(24:29):
But I know that I am worth whatI'm charging, and I know that my
clients love me, and I had aclient in my chair asking, or
she's already stressing overwhat's gonna happen one day when
I don't do hair.
She's already stressing out overthat and I can't tell'em not to
(24:52):
worry because I don't know.
What I'm gonna do.
My body doesn't hold outforever.
This is a very, very hard careeron your body.
I'm doing pretty good right now,but I don't want to have to
quit.
If I blow up my shoulder or myback goes out, or my knees, who
knows?
(25:12):
I don't want that in my life.
I want to be able to enjoy lifea hundred percent, even when I'm
retired, when I am moved on tosomething else.
So.
Celebrating myself celebratingthis financial goal that I
honestly thought was impossible.
That is almost possible, almostattainable, and with the future
(25:37):
ahead of me with what I have infront of me offered in this
company.
And all I have to do isimplement it to create the
habits that I need to be able toimplement what is laid out in
front of me.
They're giving me the freakingblueprints.
All I have to do is follow it,believe in myself and achieve
(25:59):
it.
What business does that?
They want everyone to win, andit's there.
It is so attainable.
I see all the time.
The stylist that I went toclasses with.
That are blowing the minds ofpeople around them and
themselves, because apparentlythat class that I sat in there
with them was their last chancebefore they gave it all away.
(26:22):
Their dreams were gone.
They were limping to the finishline of that class, and they are
blowing everyone away by theiraccomplishments.
Why?
Because they followed theblueprints of this company.
They are laying it out for us.
It's fantastic.
And if you find yourself stuckin your life, you're looking for
(26:46):
anything to findaccomplishments, peace,
happiness, acceptance, maybeyou're not in the right place.
Maybe it's time for you to lookdeep and figure out what
direction you really need to go.
No one's trapped in this world.
We're in America for crying outloud.
You can create your ownbusiness.
(27:06):
You can take another job.
You're not trapped anywhere, butyou do have to make some changes
in your life.
You cannot go to the next stageof your life with the same
thinking.
So find something that interestsyou.
Find something that you want toinvest your time and energy into
(27:27):
Learning more, becoming more.
Understanding the possibilitiesyou literally have at your
fingertips.
We have so many podcasts thatare amazing on, on all phones,
on all computers.
I mean, it's just crazy stupidhow much information we have
(27:48):
that we can learn from only ifyou're hungry enough to learn
it.
If you are hungry enough forchange, you can become anything
We have.
So much ahead of us, but find adirection.
You wanna go find a mentor thatmastered something in that field
(28:11):
that can teach you.
Find someone that has thatmindset to guide you, to learn
from.
You have so many people that youcan look up to, that you can
understand the passion they havefor bettering themselves and to
give you a hand up and not ahandout because if you want to
(28:32):
learn more, become more, all youneed is someone to give you time
to spend time helping you answeryour questions, give you some
hope.
But you have to be the one whodoes the work.
You have to change yourthinking.
You have to change your habits.
You have to know more, learnmore, become more, and that's
(28:55):
what I did through my wholelife.
I've constantly been learning inthe cosmetology field.
I learned more with becomingbetter, changing my internal
voice and building up mysubconscious to understanding
that I am more, that I have theknowledge, I have the power to
create the life that I want formyself.
(29:17):
Being able to help others withthat mindset along the way is
pretty incredible.
I'm definitely not where I wannabe yet, but I can honestly look
at my life now and celebrate thethings that created me with who
I am.
And for those people that poopoo on your thinking, your
(29:37):
difference, your change, use itas your leverage on why you're
pushing yourself to become more.
Because those people that aregiving you trouble for the
differences that you are doingin your own life, they're the
ones that are struggling becausethey don't know what the heck
you're doing that's sodifferent.
That makes you happy.
(29:57):
Why the heck are you happy withyour life when I'm not happy
with my life?
So the next time someone givesyou crap for being different,
look at them and say, oh, youpoor thing.
You're miserable in your life.
You think you're trapped in thislife.
And if you don't change yourthinking, you are.
(30:17):
Don't spread your miserable tosomeone else.
Motivate yourself.
Think big, think hard, andfigure out what direction you
wanna go in your life.
If you love where you'reworking, great.
Learn more.
Learn how to read leadershipbooks.
(30:38):
Management books, eh, sure.
Learn good habits.
Every time that you read a book,you're one step ahead of someone
else.
The next time you read a bookand you implement something from
that book, you have just jumpedahead 10 steps.
Because there's a differencebetween reading it and
(30:59):
implementing it.
If you don't implement anythingfrom it, you just took
information in, but it's gonnabe gone in the next day.
When you pick up the next bookor you watch the next movie or
something, will it really stick?
Who knows?
So go celebrate the 4th of July.
(31:20):
Have a wonderful time.
Enjoy the love of our country,and move on to the best.
Could go pick up a book, aleadership book Go pick up
anything that's encouraging thatcan build your mindset.
Take baby steps if you need to,but grow and learn and become
(31:41):
Have a great week.
See you later.
Hello, welcome to Decoding Clients for
Stylists.
I'm Shannon Kahrhoff.
Today I wanna go over somecelebrations.
You think about your life, howmany things you've accomplished.
I will be honest.
I have to sit and think aboutthings that are accomplishments
and how I handle'em.
(00:23):
One of my educational outletsthat I do was for this podcast.
And in there it talks aboutcelebrating everything,
celebrating your failures,celebrating your
accomplishments, and we wrotedown at the beginning, what are
we gonna do to reward ourselvesfor accomplishing this step or
(00:44):
that step?
And I'll be honest, I fail atrewarding myself for achieving
things.
To me, I'm the mentality that Iknow I'm going to get it
accomplished.
It's just a done deal.
It's just a matter of when it'sgonna be done.
So the idea rewarding myselfnever really occurred to me much
(01:07):
until this class.
So I had to go through mypaperwork from the beginning of
the class in October and remindmyself what I was going to
celebrate with when I achievedthis goal.
Well, guess what?
It was a trip to Arkansas to godig for crystals.
(01:27):
I love going to Arkansas.
I love it.
I love the red clay.
I love the hills, the trees,just the energy in Arkansas, it
feels like home.
And one day I will live inArkansas and I'll be very happy,
but.
I never let myself go toArkansas.
There were so many other thingsI needed to achieve, and I
(01:50):
didn't feel like it was theright time to go to Arkansas and
enjoy my time.
Digging in the dirt, sitting upon top of the mountain or the
hill of Arkansas and lookingover the landscape of it, the
smelling of the fresh air oftrees and pine and raw dirt.
It's just, it's my heaven.
(02:10):
So after finding that paper ofwhere I wrote down my goal and
my reward, I realized what am Iholding myself back for?
I absolutely love going there.
I have steady income.
I can afford to go travel and dowhatever I want in whatever
manner I want right now.
And.
(02:32):
It is just taking that time awayfrom work and letting myself
enjoy my time.
So I was thinking and processingand well, I decided I also was
gonna sign up into another classof training and lo and behold,
this company is in Arkansas andit's about an hour away from
(02:52):
where I want to be up on a hillwithout any cell service.
And.
I want to just enjoy my time inpeace and quiet and clear
thinking.
The phone can't ring anddistract me.
It is my ultimate reward.
I don't have to be on call allthe time ready to respond to
(03:12):
anyone or anything.
The next class was in June orSeptember.
June.
I couldn't do, there's just toomuch on my books already, but
September it's happening.
So I have two days I'll bespending in class, in person,
stretching my brain, probablyfreaking myself out with goals
and accomplishments andstretching my thinking and my
(03:35):
belief to achieve my next goalin my career and honestly in my
own life.
And then the rest of the weekI'm going to drive an hour away
and hopefully stay in my littleone room cabin with a stream
behind it and birds flying andchirping and enjoying my time.
(03:57):
So it might've taken nine monthsfor me to actually reward myself
with my accomplishment that Ipromised myself, but it'll be
well worth it.
I'll be in a better mind spacethan I was at the beginning.
Because I have achieved, I'veproven to myself that I can be
(04:17):
consistent, that I am findingmore of my voice with this and
achieving it.
Last week, I started my secondseason in the podcast because I
felt like it was time for alittle bit of a pivot.
Yes, I love my personality code.
To me, that's still my corefoundation of how I approach
people, especially in my career,but also one-on-one in public.
(04:40):
I can look at them and I know alittle bit more of how to talk
to them, to approach'em, tooffer my time and, and accept
them for who they are.
Just in the realm that Iunderstand personalities.
So I feel like it is gettingcloser for me to take that time
(05:04):
away to.
Let myself rest and repositionmy thinking and my strategy and
to me, this is fantastic.
I know I just babbled on for somany minutes about what I am
gifting myself in my time, but.
(05:25):
I'm trying to learn how toreward myself and understand how
to take a step back from thehustle of my life, from going
from one thing to the other tothe other, and remember to take
that pause and remind myself howfar I've come and how far I want
(05:46):
to go yet.
If that means that I have to putit off just for a little bit,
for me to actually feel at peacewith my decision and understand
it, to me, this is great becausefor many years I haven't gifted
myself anything for putting allthis effort and time and energy
(06:07):
into so many other things andnot so much myself.
So today I wanna go over some ofthe accomplishments that I feel
like I have achieved in thislife.
I have 29 years as ahairstylist, and who would've
thought that I'd be 29 years in?
Still love doing hair, stilllove having that one-on-one time
(06:32):
with my clients and being a partof their everyday life.
Now it is going to pivot alongthe way as I get older, and I am
trying to break my clients intoit a little bit more, but it's
hard'cause I can't a hundredpercent say where I'm going to
be, what I'm gonna be doing andhow it's gonna happen.
(06:56):
Because to me that's notimportant.
I know it's gonna happen.
I know I'm making the choicesnow and the pivots along the way
to go to the area that I want.
That I will be, because I'vegrown, learned, and I'm taking
classes to better myself and tostretch my belief and my
(07:17):
mindset, and I think that's hugebecause if you don't change and
grow and learn to become better,to go towards something more
that you want outta your life.
What are you gonna do?
Your same thinking can't takeyou to a whole different level
unless you're really ready toinvest in stretching your, your
(07:38):
time and your mind, and notletting other people deter you
from everything.
If you don't believe inyourself, I can guarantee most
other people don't.
Because when you take a big leapin a different direction, a lot
of people are automaticallygonna be like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're a lemming.
(07:59):
You're supposed to follow us offthis ledge over here that they
said is the promised land.
And if you don't follow us,you're making us look bad.
So what the heck are youthinking?
You are strange.
You are different.
You are off the wall.
Crazy.
Who has ever been called crazybefore because she chose to go
against the grain?
(08:20):
Well, that's me because I havealways, I like to follow rules
until I think the rules arestupid, and then I like to
create my own path.
So I've started off in thiscareer and I have done crazy
stupid things at times, and whenit's not the right space for me
(08:42):
to work in anymore, and I'vetried growing and changing and
they are in the same spot, mythinking isn't aligned the same
way I leave.
I go find the next opportunity,the next thing, because yes,
it's scary.
Yes, it's different.
Yes, it costs money to changefrom one place to another.
But sometimes the pain ofstaying the same is worse than
(09:05):
the pain of change.
And if you are too scared ofwhat could happen by taking that
leap off a different direction,you're always gonna stay put in
the same spot.
It's painful because you alreadyknow what's gonna happen.
You already have been livingthis life for so long.
Why don't you give yourpermission to try something new?
(09:28):
But this is me.
You know, I'm the crazy one.
So being different has its upsand its downs, but you have to
believe in yourself andunderstand wholeheartedly that
what you're trying to accomplishis achievable.
In 98, all of a sudden I got awild hair and decided that I
wanted to go do massage therapy.
(09:50):
I loved cutting hair, but I feltlike there was more in my life
that I needed to do.
I do not do massage therapyanymore.
It really was not my thing.
It was the experience of movingaway and learning what I did
through that time in Arkansasand the people I met and the
knowledge I got from my time inmassage therapy school.
(10:12):
That I believe was the biggestchange.
I felt like I could finally getaway from the shadow of what
everyone expected me to be andwho I was in the past, and I
could actually figure out who Iam personally.
I think this is why it'sfantastic for young kids to go
away to college because you'reaway from your parents'
expectations.
(10:32):
You're away from your friends'expectations and influence, and
you're allowed to go test outthe waters of who you wanna be.
And it's miraculous because youdon't know what you don't know
out there.
And if you are too scared tochange, I'm, I'm sorry, it's
kind of a sad life becauseyou're too scared of failing and
(10:56):
it was hard out there.
I didn't know anyone moving toFayetteville, and it was the
best thing ever.
I met some amazing people that Iwas in massage therapy school
with.
I met some nice people at thesalon that I worked at when I
was there, and I got tounderstand the joy of working in
the mall in the Christmasseason.
(11:17):
The good, the bad, the ugly, butbecause I chose something
different, it was amazing.
So I did that in 98, 99.
I came back to Illinois.
I did hair and I did massagetherapy and it was an adjustment
to my life.
But along the path, somethingelse different.
(11:40):
Became a single mom.
It was totally a surprise.
Was not expecting, it, did nothave, that person there to do
the long haul with me.
But it was to me a gift fromGod.
And it was something that I knewI had to do and to achieve.
And it was the biggest lesson Iever learned in my life.
(12:02):
But it was the most magicalthing, scarier than I'll get
out, but amazing.
So I became a single mom andlater down the road when she was
around five years old, that'sthe time I took the big leap and
started trying to homeschool herbecause with my job schedule,
(12:23):
you can't be an active mom.
You are either.
Working during the day, whichwas not the hours that were
strong for me in the salon lifeand.
You had to have a support ofsomeone to be there in the
evening to pick'em up fromschool, to make'em dinner, to do
homework with, to get him tobed.
(12:45):
I didn't have that.
That was not my life.
So my choice was either jump outof this career that I absolutely
love.
I love making people beautiful.
I love creating new looks anddifferent things.
And.
That was my whole thing.
So my choice was send mydaughter to school and go change
my career.
(13:05):
Go find a job behind the deskthat paid me hourly, gave me
insurance, and gave meretirement, and whatever else.
The perks of being an employeeis.
And hate it because I can't sitbehind a desk.
I have a hard time sitting downnow doing this podcast because
(13:27):
this is not my strength.
It's the sitting, still workingon a computer is rough.
In fact, I was just thinking,I'm gonna get myself a chair so
I can do this.
Sitting in a chair, comfy, but Icould not see myself sitting at
a desk for the rest of my lifedoing paperwork and monotonous
details.
(13:47):
That is not who I am.
So I took the hurdle and didhomeschooling.
I changed my hours.
I went in later, found ababysitter for Grace that could
actually happen in theafternoon.
My mom was willing to pick herup and feed her supper and do
the things in the evening untilI got home.
So.
(14:08):
Grace didn't have homework.
She didn't have thoseresponsibilities at night.
I did that in the mornings andwhen Grace was older, she was
able to do her own assignmentsafter I was at work.
It was easier for her to figureout her own time schedule, what
worked better for her thinkingand her, her own personal
strengths.
(14:29):
So I battled on, I was a singlemom who owned my own business.
I'm a self-employed hairstylist.
That's a struggle there too, attimes.
And then I was a homeschool mom.
So you tell people you are asingle mom and you homeschool
your child and they look at youlike, oh, you must get some
(14:50):
great money from the father.
Hmm.
Yeah.
You can believe that.
Sure.
Go ahead.
I.
I found my own path by leavingsalons that I had to leave
because it wasn't good for me.
Some of it was dead ends.
Some of it was limitingthinking.
Some of it was just toxic.
And until you have your ownbusiness and realize how hard it
(15:15):
is for moving one salon toanother, to try and hope that
all of your clientele love youenough to follow you to the next
place.
It was all in one town.
It wasn't like it was even 10miles away from each other, but
it's still changing locationsand hoping that you have the
context for those clients tofollow you.
(15:36):
This is a huge hurdle, so.
I've done that multiple times,so I'm a pro at it now, but I'm
hoping I'm at this spot untilI'm done doing hair.
But that is jumping off a ledge,hoping for the best because I
did take a leap from a hardsalon to a nightmare salon to
(15:58):
heaven on earth.
And I wouldn't have taken thefirst step to go to a different
salon.
I would not have made it to thenext salon where I understood
good business and good owners ofa salon and understanding their
mentality and how they got towhere they are now, I would've
missed all of that because Iwould've just stayed in the same
(16:21):
place expecting the same bad payand the same small town
mentality.
That was not what I wanted.
It was not something I thrivedon.
So these are some of the thingsI should have been celebrating
because I did the hurdles, I didthe jumping, but it was survival
(16:41):
to me.
It's something that I felt deepin my soul that I needed to do
and to create, and I had to findthe strength to keep doing it.
But I did learn along the waybecause I learned so many
different things by joining aleadership development business.
That was not something I everthought I would join.
Because it was definitely notthe same thing it was when I
(17:05):
first joined, but it taught meso many beliefs and confidence
and leadership skills andconfidence builders.
It.
It.
It is amazing.
I hear these quotes coming outof my mouth sometimes.
I'm like, oh yeah, I can hearthat person saying that up on
(17:26):
stage.
And it's in my vocabulary nowbecause this is something that I
was told through this, theseyears of being a part of it.
Do you realize how many peoplelaughed in my face'cause they
thought I was an idiot forjoining it because I didn't make
much money off of it.
(17:46):
I still see that person's facelaughing at me and looking at me
in a bar.
We were sitting in a bar and theone time I go out with so-called
friends and this girl looks atme across the town.
She's like, so how's yourbusiness?
I am like, it's good.
Doing pretty good.
I'm, I'm happy.
(18:06):
I'm learning lots of stuff.
She was like, really?
How much money have you made?
And I'm like, Hmm, not much.
But I can tell you a lot ofstuff that I've learned, I've
learned, I've grown, I'veachieved, it's pretty amazing
because through all of thatknowledge, it made me something
much better than I ever couldhave achieved ever on my own,
because I became a bettermother, daughter, family member,
(18:32):
a better hairstylist all the wayaround because I started
learning how to talk to people,how to relate to them, how to
become a quiet leader aroundpeople because it's an unspoken
thing that so many people need.
Do you realize how many people,how many people's lives I've
(18:53):
changed by being a, an activelistener, letting them express
themselves and asking them thequestions that I know where
these questions can lead them ifthey let themselves go down that
path.
But I would've not known any ofthat stuff.
I would've been the idiotstraight with only knowledge
from cosmetology school on howto talk to people on how to
(19:15):
understand.
Okay.
Without them talking to medirectly about what expectations
they want without understandinghow to carry myself and how to
know so many things about myselfthat only came from those books,
from those CDs, from thosespeeches up on stage, because
(19:38):
that's not normal informationyou get from being a
hairstylist, from staying in asmall town.
I was able to learn so much fromso many different leaders that
were growing and changing andchallenging themselves.
I learned from people that hadchallenges in their life and how
they overcame it, how theybecame confident enough to
(20:00):
become a millionaire to help somany different people in the
same kind of struggles and more,they learned how to rise
themselves in the world, how toinvest in things, how to invest
in themselves, and how to becomea better leader so that they
(20:20):
could grow and change and leadeven more people.
But by knowing that.
Most people didn't see thechange that it was happening to
me because I was quiet.
Because whenever you're changingwho you are and you're doing a
different path, I was notconfident enough to scream it
off the roof, because no oneunderstood what the heck I was
(20:43):
doing.
No one understood by me sittingdown and reading this book
either in between a break fromclients, from the hour I get at
home, after I get my daughter tosleep, before I go to sleep
myself.
I had that time to invest in mymind, in my thinking, in my
belief systems, and learning howto implement it into my life I
(21:06):
never understood how to put itinto my career that happened on
its own.
This whole.
Decoding clients.
This all happened.
It evolved because what I waslearning and implementing into
my own life slowly evolved intothis knowledge.
It wasn't overnight.
I slowly read it and put it intouse, and all of a sudden,
(21:31):
honestly, it was a long timelater when I was doing this.
A six figure stylist andmillionaire era class that I
really understood exactly what Ihad in my head.
Whenever you're just putting itinto use, you don't realize how
much you actually know until youhave to list out different
(21:54):
things and break it down.
My thinking it was, honestly, itwas kind of shocking to me that
I actually knew something thatcould help other people because.
I don't celebrate myself.
I don't sit and understand howfar I've come.
It is my path.
It is my journey, and it is oneof those things that I, I still
(22:21):
don't know how I got heresometimes because there's so
many times I fell to my kneespraying for help, praying for
change.
And to be the person I needed tobe, to be able to recover from
these things in my life, toguide me to the path that I need
to take, and it happened.
(22:41):
I am now looking back at where Iam, thinking about all the
prayers, all of the goals, allof the financial settings that I
have wanted in my life, and I'mgetting there.
I need to celebrate myselfbecause when I sat in a class in
(23:02):
2022 and they asked you to writedown what is your financial
goal?
What is your dream income?
I wrote it down.
Okay thinking, literallythinking, huh, this would be
fantastic.
Oh my God, if only I achievedthis many zeros in my income,
(23:23):
that would be phenomenal.
Well, guess what?
I broke down crying a a fewweeks ago because I was going
through my education that I'mdoing and I had to write down my
income and so I figured it outand estimated out if I keep this
going, I will achieve thatincome this year.
(23:44):
Now I can't sit back on my mybutt and wait for it to happen.
I still have to grow and buildand become, and I still have to
have that work ethic.
That all has to be implementedin, and I have to stay active
and in there.
But to know that I'm this closeto achieving this financial goal
(24:08):
from three years ago, and Ithought it was so unattainable.
But you know, gradual stepsalong the way, reminding myself
that I am worth more.
It is okay.
I am wonderful with hair.
Am I perfect?
Heck no.
I don't know anyone.
That's perfect.
(24:29):
But I know that I am worth whatI'm charging, and I know that my
clients love me, and I had aclient in my chair asking, or
she's already stressing overwhat's gonna happen one day when
I don't do hair.
She's already stressing out overthat and I can't tell'em not to
(24:52):
worry because I don't know.
What I'm gonna do.
My body doesn't hold outforever.
This is a very, very hard careeron your body.
I'm doing pretty good right now,but I don't want to have to
quit.
If I blow up my shoulder or myback goes out, or my knees, who
knows?
(25:12):
I don't want that in my life.
I want to be able to enjoy lifea hundred percent, even when I'm
retired, when I am moved on tosomething else.
So.
Celebrating myself celebratingthis financial goal that I
honestly thought was impossible.
That is almost possible, almostattainable, and with the future
(25:37):
ahead of me with what I have infront of me offered in this
company.
And all I have to do isimplement it to create the
habits that I need to be able toimplement what is laid out in
front of me.
They're giving me the freakingblueprints.
All I have to do is follow it,believe in myself and achieve
(25:59):
it.
What business does that?
They want everyone to win, andit's there.
It is so attainable.
I see all the time.
The stylist that I went toclasses with.
That are blowing the minds ofpeople around them and
themselves, because apparentlythat class that I sat in there
with them was their last chancebefore they gave it all away.
(26:22):
Their dreams were gone.
They were limping to the finishline of that class, and they are
blowing everyone away by theiraccomplishments.
Why?
Because they followed theblueprints of this company.
They are laying it out for us.
It's fantastic.
And if you find yourself stuckin your life, you're looking for
(26:46):
anything to findaccomplishments, peace,
happiness, acceptance, maybeyou're not in the right place.
Maybe it's time for you to lookdeep and figure out what
direction you really need to go.
No one's trapped in this world.
We're in America for crying outloud.
You can create your ownbusiness.
(27:06):
You can take another job.
You're not trapped anywhere, butyou do have to make some changes
in your life.
You cannot go to the next stageof your life with the same
thinking.
So find something that interestsyou.
Find something that you want toinvest your time and energy into
(27:27):
Learning more, becoming more.
Understanding the possibilitiesyou literally have at your
fingertips.
We have so many podcasts thatare amazing on, on all phones,
on all computers.
I mean, it's just crazy stupidhow much information we have
(27:48):
that we can learn from only ifyou're hungry enough to learn
it.
If you are hungry enough forchange, you can become anything
We have.
So much ahead of us, but find adirection.
You wanna go find a mentor thatmastered something in that field
(28:11):
that can teach you.
Find someone that has thatmindset to guide you, to learn
from.
You have so many people that youcan look up to, that you can
understand the passion they havefor bettering themselves and to
give you a hand up and not ahandout because if you want to
(28:32):
learn more, become more, all youneed is someone to give you time
to spend time helping you answeryour questions, give you some
hope.
But you have to be the one whodoes the work.
You have to change yourthinking.
You have to change your habits.
You have to know more, learnmore, become more, and that's
(28:55):
what I did through my wholelife.
I've constantly been learning inthe cosmetology field.
I learned more with becomingbetter, changing my internal
voice and building up mysubconscious to understanding
that I am more, that I have theknowledge, I have the power to
create the life that I want formyself.
(29:17):
Being able to help others withthat mindset along the way is
pretty incredible.
I'm definitely not where I wannabe yet, but I can honestly look
at my life now and celebrate thethings that created me with who
I am.
And for those people that poopoo on your thinking, your
(29:37):
difference, your change, use itas your leverage on why you're
pushing yourself to become more.
Because those people that aregiving you trouble for the
differences that you are doingin your own life, they're the
ones that are struggling becausethey don't know what the heck
you're doing that's sodifferent.
That makes you happy.
(29:57):
Why the heck are you happy withyour life when I'm not happy
with my life?
So the next time someone givesyou crap for being different,
look at them and say, oh, youpoor thing.
You're miserable in your life.
You think you're trapped in thislife.
And if you don't change yourthinking, you are.
(30:17):
Don't spread your miserable tosomeone else.
Motivate yourself.
Think big, think hard, andfigure out what direction you
wanna go in your life.
If you love where you'reworking, great.
Learn more.
Learn how to read leadershipbooks.
(30:38):
Management books, eh, sure.
Learn good habits.
Every time that you read a book,you're one step ahead of someone
else.
The next time you read a bookand you implement something from
that book, you have just jumpedahead 10 steps.
Because there's a differencebetween reading it and
(30:59):
implementing it.
If you don't implement anythingfrom it, you just took
information in, but it's gonnabe gone in the next day.
When you pick up the next bookor you watch the next movie or
something, will it really stick?
Who knows?
So go celebrate the 4th of July.
(31:20):
Have a wonderful time.
Enjoy the love of our country,and move on to the best.
Could go pick up a book, aleadership book Go pick up
anything that's encouraging thatcan build your mindset.
Take baby steps if you need to,but grow and learn and become
(31:41):
Have a great week.
See you later.
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