April 21, 2025 • 27 mins
You now know which is your Personality Code, are you wondering how grow yourself?
When you start to see who you really are, but also some weaknesses that you want to soften this is what I'm talking about. I know I wanted to be more. My profession needed me more well rounded.
I learned how to strengthen the personality traits I wanted to be stronger. Over the years of making small adjustments I feel better and stronger.
The main idea is just because you are this personality, it isn't an excuse to accept it and use as an excuse. Grow and become the person you really want to become.
Here is where you start on the journey. Enjoy!
Send me a message if you have any comments.
Thank you for listening. Share this episode with a friend that you think would enjoy it.
I would love it if you took the time to leave a rating or review for the show.
Want me to go more in-depth about anything? Let me know.
Send an email with questions to skahrhoff@live.com.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Shannon Kahrhoff (00:02):
Hello, welcome back to Decoding Clients for
Stylists.
I'm Shannon Kahrhoff I took abreak last week.
It was my birthday week and Ineeded a little relaxation for a
little bit.
So I, I am back with a new ideatoday.
I wanna cover how to strengthenyour weaknesses.
So this is for you personally onhow to.
Not use your personality type asan excuse on, well, this is who
(00:26):
I am and this is how I'm alwaysgoing to be.
It can be that way.
There's no one saying you haveto improve yourself or work on
something that could be achallenge in your life.
Me personally, I realized mystrengths and my weaknesses
through reading these books andunderstanding.
The styles throughout.
(00:47):
So while I talk to people, Irealize what personality they
are, so I know how to relate tothem.
It makes my life a lot easierbehind the chair.
But I also realized throughtalking and understanding and
breaking down the personalities,I realize some of the strengths
(01:08):
and weaknesses they have.
Are mine.
So I realized that, okay, so Ihave a strong personality.
I need to figure out how tosoften it at times, because my
clients don't like me so direct,so is my hair thin?
Yes.
You got so much balding in yourhead.
This is horrible.
(01:29):
There's no way we can, give youthis hairstyle because you have
the holes on the side of yourforehead.
No one wants to hear that.
The whole idea of.
Being a great hairstylist is howto approach the issues that they
have in a nice, polite way.
But if they are the directpersonality, you know, you can
(01:49):
go a little bit more intense,but you do not want to go in as
insulting.
You don't wanna make them go onthe defense.
You want to be able to make themcomfortable and safe in your
environment, your space.
So I realized pretty quicklyafter I started learning this,
that holy crap, I can beoffensive whenever I'm not
(02:10):
paying attention because myinitial instinct, especially if
they're getting on my nerves alittle bit, I can be pretty darn
direct and insulting at times,and I've probably chased off a
client or two in my historybecause I was not paying
attention to the politenessfactor.
I have other issues that I'mvery fully aware of.
(02:32):
I'm very aware of my weaknesses,my faults, and I always try to
improve on how I can become abetter, more well-rounded
individual, not just for work,but for every moment of my life.
I don't want to be the personthat can insult someone or my
(02:53):
tendencies of.
Seeing a sparkly object on theside and totally losing track of
the conversation that I'm partof, that can be a problem.
And I worked in a, a booth rentsituation.
I was surrounded by otherpeople, other conversations we
had the radio going on, peoplewere walking in the door, the
phone was, the phone was goingoff constantly.
(03:16):
So there were distractionseverywhere.
So I'm a little bit easier onmyself now because I'm in a
suite.
So my suite helps me block outsome of the distractions around
me so I can focus a hundredpercent.
Well, okay, like 80% of myattention on my clients.
There's always other thingsgoing around, but I've learned
(03:38):
through this process how tomodify my behavior a little bit,
my awareness of different thingsto.
Not always go with instinct.
Just like you learn how to work,how you do haircuts, you
understand that how you're doingit isn't quite a hundred percent
(03:59):
right.
It's a little too sharp here.
You need to round it so itsoftly flows, and you have
movement in the hair.
This is the same thing with yourlife.
You need to have an easier flow.
I'm not saying to totally changeyourself and deny what your
natural instinct is.
That totally is wrong.
We're not here to, I am not heretrying to change you.
(04:21):
I'm trying to get you tounderstand your natural
tendencies and how you canbecome less abrasive or less
easygoing, more intentional ondifferent things, depending on
your personality type.
So in my own process, it was along time of figuring out
different things.
(04:41):
But my biggest thing are thepeoples, the people that
irritate the heck outta me onhow they do things.
It's usually my cue to myself toanalyze why what they're doing
is irritating me, because it'susually one of my flaws.
And then I realize they don'tknow what they don't know.
It's my job to soften myselfbecause they're not doing it
(05:06):
intentionally.
This is something I have to growand change.
Now, this isn't for the peoplethat are rude or that are asking
for extra services for no Theseare the people that are
unintentionally doing it.
There are people that I've hadin my chair that I've let go.
I don't do it very often, butit's whenever I feel like they
(05:27):
are overstepping a boundary,which I have just.
Recently in the last few yearsrealized that I don't have to
take everyone in my chair.
I'm allowed to choose who Iservice in my chair because for
most of my career, you're,you're building, you're
accepting everyone in your chairto bring money in, even if
(05:49):
they're not your ideal client.
In fact, it was just three yearsago, I realized there is such a
thing as an ideal client and youhave the ability to actually.
Picture who you want in yourchair because it's your
business.
You have the right to doanything you want.
Now, you're not allowed to be,well, I wouldn't suggest being
(06:10):
rude to anyone who comes andsits, sits in your chair and
actually just wants to get alook that they want.
That to me is the line.
But it is okay for you to.
Not take a new client that rubsyou the wrong way because they
are, inconsiderate.
They are wanting specialtreatment.
(06:31):
They want in now when you'rebooked out for six weeks, there
are different reasons that youdon't have to allow this
behavior in your business.
Now if you're commissioned, thenyou might have a little play on
what you're allowed to do andnot do, because it depends on
the business owner that you'reworking with.
(06:52):
But if you're self-employed, ifyou have your own business, you
have the right to say no tosomeone.
They might bring you in greatmoney, but it's the fact of if
they are treating you like crapand they expect you to go above
and beyond.
They don't listen to youradvice.
They're doing something that'shorrible for their hair, but
they expect you to be able tofix it because it's your job.
(07:15):
To me, that's a little bit,harsh on my own personality type
because I don't want to feellike it's my responsibility to
accept their bad behavior and myexpectation to.
It'd be magical that I can fixeverything and that in the next
(07:35):
six weeks I have to do it allover again.
'cause I used crap products.
They, they just have horriblehome care.
So there are instances when Ihave to say, look, you don't
respect my, suggestions.
You don't respect me as aprofessional.
I'm gonna have to say I'm sorry.
You need to go find someone elsethat can work directly with you
(07:57):
that.
Is a better fit.
If they make me feel like crapand Ill-equipped and a horrible
hairstylist because they aretreating me horribly because
they don't respect anyone inthis profession, that affects me
with the rest of my clientsbecause my belief.
Level is decreased becausesomeone is just insulting me and
(08:19):
that is not how I wanna betreated in my own business.
To me, this is an art, and noteveryone has to like my art, but
it is one of those things thatyou do not have my permission to
insult me and to make me feellike a bug squashed under a
shoe.
There are times that I have toallow myself to go back.
To the fully direct Shannon, andgo for it because you can only
(08:45):
be nice and polite for so longbefore everyone walks all over
you and you're here trying tobackpedal, trying to fix the
issue that they created.
So am not saying all the time,you have to be well-rounded.
You have to use your strengthswhen you have'em, when you need
them.
And I am blessed to have a verydirect personality, but I also
(09:10):
have become a much nicer, softerperson through the years because
it's, it's nicer being softerand nicer, but I still have to
learn that there is a time andplace to use that full direct
personality.
Because I have the work ethic, Ihave the mindset of how to push
(09:33):
through in the struggles to getto the other side and get
everything accomplished that Ineeded.
I've learned how to push myselfto the level that I need to
achieve everything that needs tohappen.
I think I have a pretty decentamount of all the personalities,
but I don't know if it's legitor if I've taught myself how to
(09:57):
enjoy every personality type,their strengths, because I've
had to learn how to be calm andrest, let my body rest.
That is not my full inclination.
That's my coping mechanismwhenever I've overrun my body to
exhaustion.
And I had to force myself tolearn how to relax and not be
(10:18):
responsible for everything.
Some things had to be put on theback burner so that I can let
myself, my body recover.
So that one was my hardeststruggle of learning how to, to
not do everything that needed tobe done on my list.
That is a huge struggle becauseI am a natural.
(10:41):
Driven person where I think it'salmost my survival mechanism of
just keep going.
Don't look as left or right.
Just keep focusing on the jobsthat need to get done.
And I'll think about myselflater.
It, this is, I think one of mysurvival modes is just keep
moving.
(11:02):
You don't have to know thestruggles.
You don't have to do this, butit pushes you through that's my
example of how I learned how tobalance my different things.
I am also a little bit of a rulemaker.
I like organization andperfectionism in work in my home
life.
No.
(11:22):
So this whole rule maker thingis something I've mastered for
work because you don't want tohave to.
Search around for the tube ofcolor that you need for your
client.
You wanna be able to look up,reach, grab it, and start
mixing.
You don't wanna waste 10, 15minutes looking for all the
things that you need to beprecise at work.
(11:45):
I don't want to be faulty atapplying color on clients.
I have a measurement system thatI use to make sure I get the
color the same everyappointment, so it's precise.
Now at home, my house is prettymuch a wreck because I have been
(12:07):
a shampoo girl from the time Iwas 16 years old.
So sweeping, folding towels andwashing color bowls and dishes
are exhausting to me now.
So I do it at work because thisis my career.
This is what I need to do athome.
It's torture.
I don't want to have to clean myhouse.
(12:27):
I don't want everything in aprecise manner'cause I have that
at work and that's what needs tohappen.
I need to be very precise withmy scheduling, with my phone
calls and my messaging.
I need to be precise withplacements of everything.
No one wants to come into asuite that's nasty, that is a
mess all over the place.
And, product shelves that arecoated with dust now.
(12:51):
Through the holidays, yes, myproduct shelf was coated with
hairspray dust, but overall, Itry not to have that happen, but
this is how I balance my life.
Work has to be professional.
That's my livelihood.
This is my pride right there, ismaking sure that things are
placed where they need to be,where it's, it's pleasing for
(13:15):
someone to come in and sit downand rest.
For those true rule makerpeople, it probably discussed
them with my dust and hairsitting on things, but I don't
have the time to dust every day.
Maybe I should, I don't know.
But this is something that I'velearned.
The more I analyze everything onwhy I do certain things, and I
(13:39):
still sit down and analyze whereis my weak point, where is my
strength, where am Iovercompensating here to?
Focus on this.
So it's, it's my little systemthat I have to do to create the
habits.
Systems are a huge thing for mealso, and I think that's the
rule maker person, that if Idon't create a habit on things,
(14:04):
it's all irrational in my head.
There's no rhyme or reason tohow I do things and how often I,
I clean and, order products andhow I cut hair and how I apply
color.
There's consistency or I falter.
I have a customer that, crackedme up one day because I just, I
(14:27):
cut his hair and I did clippers.
So I'm going around and I havemy system.
Well, apparently I faltered onmy system or I was distracted
with a story or something andI'm cutting and I go down and
put the clippers down, turnaround, grab my scissors, and go
into the blending.
And I forgot one quadrant.
One quadrant of his hair, theright side of his hair from ears
(14:52):
forward.
I forgot to use the clippers onwhy I broke my system because.
It is a habit that I havecreated, but somewhere along
this line, I faltered on mysystem and I caught it.
You're not gonna miss notshaving, a quadrant of the hair
off, but it was, it cracked meup and he still misses with me
(15:14):
today.
It's hilarious because I'venever done that before in all of
these years that I've cut hishair.
It's just a recent developmentthat I have forgot and.
It has not been just one time.
It has been two or three timesin the last two years that I
forgot to shave this one side ofhis head.
So he's, he watches me now tomake sure I don't put those
(15:37):
clippers down until I have allfour sides shaved.
But this is why I've learnedthat I have to, well round
myself by creating a system witheverything because my.
Direct personality can totallyskip the process of how I do
things just going into taskmode.
(15:59):
I have this to do this, to dothis, to do this, to do, but by
having the rule maker in mestrengthened, I have a system on
how I do everything.
And when I let myself slack anddon't live up to my.
Systems.
That's when things break downand it doesn't happen.
That's when things get overrun.
(16:20):
I am out of balance at work onhow things are done, so then I
have to work even harder torestart the system and like with
cleaning with the holidays.
And then I got sick shortlyafter that.
My suite was dirty.
I had hair blown in the cornersof things that.
I don't know if my customersnoticed, but it drove me crazy
(16:43):
and there was hairspray dust oneverything.
I use hair fibers on the clientand the hair fiber dust is all
over the place.
It's all the way up on top of mycolor cabinet, and every so
often I have to get up there anddust or else there's layers of
this hair fiber and hairspraycoated on things.
It's easy to dust away, but it'sstill disgusting knowing that
(17:06):
there's layers of ick in there.
Systems is how I've learned howto maintain some of the balance
in my life, and I still have totweak my, my systems here and
there.
But this is something I had tolearn how to do because it's not
my natural instinct.
I was all over the place.
(17:29):
My whole life, because it wasthoughtless, I just
automatically did whatever Ifelt was the next thing I had to
accomplish and go for it.
And most things along the sideswere dropped It was not a good
way to do it.
I was very good at gettingthings done that were important
to me.
(17:50):
But not the things that were notimportant to me, which is
usually cleaning an organizationthat is not my strength, but
okay.
Organization in my own personallife.
I need to realize how to bringthat home to my home and my life
and create habits on everything.
(18:12):
If you wanna start with figuringout how to, well round yourself.
Hopefully by now you have anunderstanding of what
personality type is most like.
You.
I talked to someone and theysaid, this one seems very much
like me'cause I do this andthis.
Okay, so that's great.
So now you have a basis of whatyour strengths and weaknesses
(18:35):
are and how you like to seethings and how you like to do
things.
This is the thing that you needto understand now.
You know your strengths.
So what are your weaknesses inthis personality that you need
to improve a little bit, thatyou would love, you personally,
would love to increase thepositive in that you wanna
(18:59):
decrease the weakness, and onlyyou can decide this for
yourself.
Don't let anyone tell you whatyour weaknesses are and what
needs to improve.
This is a personal growthprocess yourself.
This is something a hundredpercent you that you need to
figure out what would make yourlife easier if you just improved
(19:20):
a little bit.
Now, a direct personality, youcan focus on what you need to
improve, and you're right there.
You can figure it out and go.
Everyone else you need to take alittle time, figure a few things
out because everyone else is alittle bit more hesitant.
You don't just jump into it.
The okay, the fun loving mightwant to jump into it, but fun
(19:42):
loving doesn't also like torealize their weaknesses'cause
it's not fun.
That means it's something thathas to be worked on.
Unless you see the, the trippingpoint, the part of your habits
that makes you stop, it stopsthe cycle, the flow of your life
because all of a sudden there'ssomething that affects other
(20:05):
people and yourself around youand not for the good.
So that's something with a funloving, you need to figure out
what you don't like.
There's different things andcues that you get from reactions
from other people.
And if you're looking at yourclients and your family members
trying to figure out theirpersonalities to understand how
(20:25):
to relate a little bit better,you're also gonna figure out
exactly how.
Your actions are affecting otherpeople, their facial
expressions, their behaviors,sometimes their words.
So you need to really just thinkabout if you tweaked one thing,
what would that improve in yourlife?
(20:47):
This is another way to look atit.
You look at someone that youwant to emulate to follow, you,
understand that they'reachieving great things, and they
have, as a stylist, they havethe clientele that you want.
They have the relationships andthe price points that you want
for your business in the future.
(21:07):
What is that person doingdifferently than what you do?
Listen to their words.
Listen to their tone.
Now, sometimes they have a totaldifferent personality than you.
That's okay.
We all have our own gifts andtalents, but it doesn't mean
that you can't work towardsfiguring out what one little
(21:28):
tweak in your personality or inyour behaviors can increase
this.
So you're thinking of differentstair steps to improve.
So if that person is a betterlistener than you, they know how
to take the time and the effortsjust to have a special
relationship with our clients.
(21:49):
You can watch them if you havedowntime and say, okay, how do
they do this?
What is their energy like?
What is their, what are thewords?
Or do they ask more questionsthan talking?
Those are the little things youcan figure out and you can look
at your own behavior, how youhave an interaction with your
clients, with your coworkers,and see where's the difference
(22:12):
there.
What can you tweak to get alittle bit closer to that
person?
Whatever that trait is thatyou're trying to, that, that you
respect.
That's a perfect way to say it.
You respect their behavior inthis because the results they
get is something you want.
(22:34):
If you're in an office and yourmanager has a way of
communicating or patting you onthe back and saying, great job.
I really love how you finishthis project, and I love how you
wrote it all out.
I love how you presented it.
Great job.
If it's just a matter ofaffirming someone, then you have
to figure out, do I affirmpeople?
(22:56):
I want to have my people aroundme feel this great about
themselves as I did whenever mymanager, my boss, told me
something.
This is the art that people needto really understand.
People need pats on the backs.
People need to understand whatthey're doing, right?
So you're not constantly justcriticizing people because
(23:19):
positive gets way better resultsthan the negative.
Just pick one thing and go fromthere.
Which of the personalities doyou wish that you had more of?
I know that's how I started withmine because I was like, but I
want this personality.
I wanna be the fun-loving personwho can.
(23:40):
Have a good laugh all the time.
Who takes things lightly?
Who doesn't get, so upset aboutthe smallest thing.
I want things to roll off myback and just have fun, and I've
had to learn that.
That's not my natural instinctunless I'm totally comfortable
around people.
Figure out, do you want moresteady in your life?
(24:00):
Do you want more direct in yourlife?
Do you want more rule maker?
Do you need boundaries andrules, or are you wanting to be
more fun loving because you canadjust anything in your life to
get a little bit closer to whereyou wanna be.
It's all a learning process.
You do not have to accept whereyou are right now as your whole
(24:21):
boundary in life.
This is not what this is for.
I want you to understandyourself.
So you can relate to otherpeople, but grow and change.
That's what this life is allabout, is understanding how to
become a better person, how tobe a little bit more organized
so that you can achieve morethings.
Because if you take that time toorganize things, you don't have
(24:44):
to scurry around all over theplace trying to play catch up
and to find everything.
In my leadership developmentclass, I learned how to set
goals a little bit better.
I have a good foundation fromthe development business that I
took years ago, but how toactually do it in a professional
sense was huge for me because Iunderstood the general part.
(25:07):
If you can learn how to grow apart of yourself that needs to
soften your weakness, go for it.
Make yourself a better person.
If you have to read self-helpbooks, go for it.
If you need to listen to otherpodcasts, go for it because
there's so many different Habitcreating podcasts out there, you
(25:28):
just have to find someone thatresonates with you and doesn't
force you into a direction thatdoes not feel comfortable
because there are so many outthere, but they're all directed
to different personalities.
You have to understand thepersonalities of the person
teaching it to understand thatthey might just be teaching
(25:48):
their experience, not just.
What speaks to you.
So some things are gonna be toounattainable if it's too
opposite of where you arepersonally.
My whole goal in this podcast isto get you to understand that
once you figure out yourpersonality and understand your
(26:09):
strengths, your weaknesses, whatweakness do you think would be
the most beneficial tostrengthen a little bit more?
Is there something in there thatyou feel you understand that if
I could get that a little bitbetter, my relationships are
gonna be better, or myorganizational skills will be
(26:29):
better, or my mindset will be somuch better?
One step at a time.
Peeps, if you figure out exactlyhow you are and where you want
to go.
Anything is possible becauseyou're making a life plan to
make your life more comfortable,to make the people around you a
little bit more comfortable.
But don't be scared to go backto your number one powerhouse
(26:53):
strength and still be able touse it.
You were given this gift for areason, and sometimes you have
to pull out the big guns just toprotect yourself and to
understand one thing or theother.
I hope this makes sense.
I hope it helped you.
If you have any questions, reachout, talk to me.
(27:16):
I'd love to hear from you.
Have a great week.
I'll see you later.
Hello, welcome back to Decoding Clients for
Stylists.
I'm Shannon Kahrhoff I took abreak last week.
It was my birthday week and Ineeded a little relaxation for a
little bit.
So I, I am back with a new ideatoday.
I wanna cover how to strengthenyour weaknesses.
So this is for you personally onhow to.
Not use your personality type asan excuse on, well, this is who
(00:26):
I am and this is how I'm alwaysgoing to be.
It can be that way.
There's no one saying you haveto improve yourself or work on
something that could be achallenge in your life.
Me personally, I realized mystrengths and my weaknesses
through reading these books andunderstanding.
The styles throughout.
(00:47):
So while I talk to people, Irealize what personality they
are, so I know how to relate tothem.
It makes my life a lot easierbehind the chair.
But I also realized throughtalking and understanding and
breaking down the personalities,I realize some of the strengths
(01:08):
and weaknesses they have.
Are mine.
So I realized that, okay, so Ihave a strong personality.
I need to figure out how tosoften it at times, because my
clients don't like me so direct,so is my hair thin?
Yes.
You got so much balding in yourhead.
This is horrible.
(01:29):
There's no way we can, give youthis hairstyle because you have
the holes on the side of yourforehead.
No one wants to hear that.
The whole idea of.
Being a great hairstylist is howto approach the issues that they
have in a nice, polite way.
But if they are the directpersonality, you know, you can
(01:49):
go a little bit more intense,but you do not want to go in as
insulting.
You don't wanna make them go onthe defense.
You want to be able to make themcomfortable and safe in your
environment, your space.
So I realized pretty quicklyafter I started learning this,
that holy crap, I can beoffensive whenever I'm not
(02:10):
paying attention because myinitial instinct, especially if
they're getting on my nerves alittle bit, I can be pretty darn
direct and insulting at times,and I've probably chased off a
client or two in my historybecause I was not paying
attention to the politenessfactor.
I have other issues that I'mvery fully aware of.
(02:32):
I'm very aware of my weaknesses,my faults, and I always try to
improve on how I can become abetter, more well-rounded
individual, not just for work,but for every moment of my life.
I don't want to be the personthat can insult someone or my
(02:53):
tendencies of.
Seeing a sparkly object on theside and totally losing track of
the conversation that I'm partof, that can be a problem.
And I worked in a, a booth rentsituation.
I was surrounded by otherpeople, other conversations we
had the radio going on, peoplewere walking in the door, the
phone was, the phone was goingoff constantly.
(03:16):
So there were distractionseverywhere.
So I'm a little bit easier onmyself now because I'm in a
suite.
So my suite helps me block outsome of the distractions around
me so I can focus a hundredpercent.
Well, okay, like 80% of myattention on my clients.
There's always other thingsgoing around, but I've learned
(03:38):
through this process how tomodify my behavior a little bit,
my awareness of different thingsto.
Not always go with instinct.
Just like you learn how to work,how you do haircuts, you
understand that how you're doingit isn't quite a hundred percent
(03:59):
right.
It's a little too sharp here.
You need to round it so itsoftly flows, and you have
movement in the hair.
This is the same thing with yourlife.
You need to have an easier flow.
I'm not saying to totally changeyourself and deny what your
natural instinct is.
That totally is wrong.
We're not here to, I am not heretrying to change you.
(04:21):
I'm trying to get you tounderstand your natural
tendencies and how you canbecome less abrasive or less
easygoing, more intentional ondifferent things, depending on
your personality type.
So in my own process, it was along time of figuring out
different things.
(04:41):
But my biggest thing are thepeoples, the people that
irritate the heck outta me onhow they do things.
It's usually my cue to myself toanalyze why what they're doing
is irritating me, because it'susually one of my flaws.
And then I realize they don'tknow what they don't know.
It's my job to soften myselfbecause they're not doing it
(05:06):
intentionally.
This is something I have to growand change.
Now, this isn't for the peoplethat are rude or that are asking
for extra services for no Theseare the people that are
unintentionally doing it.
There are people that I've hadin my chair that I've let go.
I don't do it very often, butit's whenever I feel like they
(05:27):
are overstepping a boundary,which I have just.
Recently in the last few yearsrealized that I don't have to
take everyone in my chair.
I'm allowed to choose who Iservice in my chair because for
most of my career, you're,you're building, you're
accepting everyone in your chairto bring money in, even if
(05:49):
they're not your ideal client.
In fact, it was just three yearsago, I realized there is such a
thing as an ideal client and youhave the ability to actually.
Picture who you want in yourchair because it's your
business.
You have the right to doanything you want.
Now, you're not allowed to be,well, I wouldn't suggest being
(06:10):
rude to anyone who comes andsits, sits in your chair and
actually just wants to get alook that they want.
That to me is the line.
But it is okay for you to.
Not take a new client that rubsyou the wrong way because they
are, inconsiderate.
They are wanting specialtreatment.
(06:31):
They want in now when you'rebooked out for six weeks, there
are different reasons that youdon't have to allow this
behavior in your business.
Now if you're commissioned, thenyou might have a little play on
what you're allowed to do andnot do, because it depends on
the business owner that you'reworking with.
(06:52):
But if you're self-employed, ifyou have your own business, you
have the right to say no tosomeone.
They might bring you in greatmoney, but it's the fact of if
they are treating you like crapand they expect you to go above
and beyond.
They don't listen to youradvice.
They're doing something that'shorrible for their hair, but
they expect you to be able tofix it because it's your job.
(07:15):
To me, that's a little bit,harsh on my own personality type
because I don't want to feellike it's my responsibility to
accept their bad behavior and myexpectation to.
It'd be magical that I can fixeverything and that in the next
(07:35):
six weeks I have to do it allover again.
'cause I used crap products.
They, they just have horriblehome care.
So there are instances when Ihave to say, look, you don't
respect my, suggestions.
You don't respect me as aprofessional.
I'm gonna have to say I'm sorry.
You need to go find someone elsethat can work directly with you
(07:57):
that.
Is a better fit.
If they make me feel like crapand Ill-equipped and a horrible
hairstylist because they aretreating me horribly because
they don't respect anyone inthis profession, that affects me
with the rest of my clientsbecause my belief.
Level is decreased becausesomeone is just insulting me and
(08:19):
that is not how I wanna betreated in my own business.
To me, this is an art, and noteveryone has to like my art, but
it is one of those things thatyou do not have my permission to
insult me and to make me feellike a bug squashed under a
shoe.
There are times that I have toallow myself to go back.
To the fully direct Shannon, andgo for it because you can only
(08:45):
be nice and polite for so longbefore everyone walks all over
you and you're here trying tobackpedal, trying to fix the
issue that they created.
So am not saying all the time,you have to be well-rounded.
You have to use your strengthswhen you have'em, when you need
them.
And I am blessed to have a verydirect personality, but I also
(09:10):
have become a much nicer, softerperson through the years because
it's, it's nicer being softerand nicer, but I still have to
learn that there is a time andplace to use that full direct
personality.
Because I have the work ethic, Ihave the mindset of how to push
(09:33):
through in the struggles to getto the other side and get
everything accomplished that Ineeded.
I've learned how to push myselfto the level that I need to
achieve everything that needs tohappen.
I think I have a pretty decentamount of all the personalities,
but I don't know if it's legitor if I've taught myself how to
(09:57):
enjoy every personality type,their strengths, because I've
had to learn how to be calm andrest, let my body rest.
That is not my full inclination.
That's my coping mechanismwhenever I've overrun my body to
exhaustion.
And I had to force myself tolearn how to relax and not be
(10:18):
responsible for everything.
Some things had to be put on theback burner so that I can let
myself, my body recover.
So that one was my hardeststruggle of learning how to, to
not do everything that needed tobe done on my list.
That is a huge struggle becauseI am a natural.
(10:41):
Driven person where I think it'salmost my survival mechanism of
just keep going.
Don't look as left or right.
Just keep focusing on the jobsthat need to get done.
And I'll think about myselflater.
It, this is, I think one of mysurvival modes is just keep
moving.
(11:02):
You don't have to know thestruggles.
You don't have to do this, butit pushes you through that's my
example of how I learned how tobalance my different things.
I am also a little bit of a rulemaker.
I like organization andperfectionism in work in my home
life.
No.
(11:22):
So this whole rule maker thingis something I've mastered for
work because you don't want tohave to.
Search around for the tube ofcolor that you need for your
client.
You wanna be able to look up,reach, grab it, and start
mixing.
You don't wanna waste 10, 15minutes looking for all the
things that you need to beprecise at work.
(11:45):
I don't want to be faulty atapplying color on clients.
I have a measurement system thatI use to make sure I get the
color the same everyappointment, so it's precise.
Now at home, my house is prettymuch a wreck because I have been
(12:07):
a shampoo girl from the time Iwas 16 years old.
So sweeping, folding towels andwashing color bowls and dishes
are exhausting to me now.
So I do it at work because thisis my career.
This is what I need to do athome.
It's torture.
I don't want to have to clean myhouse.
(12:27):
I don't want everything in aprecise manner'cause I have that
at work and that's what needs tohappen.
I need to be very precise withmy scheduling, with my phone
calls and my messaging.
I need to be precise withplacements of everything.
No one wants to come into asuite that's nasty, that is a
mess all over the place.
And, product shelves that arecoated with dust now.
(12:51):
Through the holidays, yes, myproduct shelf was coated with
hairspray dust, but overall, Itry not to have that happen, but
this is how I balance my life.
Work has to be professional.
That's my livelihood.
This is my pride right there, ismaking sure that things are
placed where they need to be,where it's, it's pleasing for
(13:15):
someone to come in and sit downand rest.
For those true rule makerpeople, it probably discussed
them with my dust and hairsitting on things, but I don't
have the time to dust every day.
Maybe I should, I don't know.
But this is something that I'velearned.
The more I analyze everything onwhy I do certain things, and I
(13:39):
still sit down and analyze whereis my weak point, where is my
strength, where am Iovercompensating here to?
Focus on this.
So it's, it's my little systemthat I have to do to create the
habits.
Systems are a huge thing for mealso, and I think that's the
rule maker person, that if Idon't create a habit on things,
(14:04):
it's all irrational in my head.
There's no rhyme or reason tohow I do things and how often I,
I clean and, order products andhow I cut hair and how I apply
color.
There's consistency or I falter.
I have a customer that, crackedme up one day because I just, I
(14:27):
cut his hair and I did clippers.
So I'm going around and I havemy system.
Well, apparently I faltered onmy system or I was distracted
with a story or something andI'm cutting and I go down and
put the clippers down, turnaround, grab my scissors, and go
into the blending.
And I forgot one quadrant.
One quadrant of his hair, theright side of his hair from ears
(14:52):
forward.
I forgot to use the clippers onwhy I broke my system because.
It is a habit that I havecreated, but somewhere along
this line, I faltered on mysystem and I caught it.
You're not gonna miss notshaving, a quadrant of the hair
off, but it was, it cracked meup and he still misses with me
(15:14):
today.
It's hilarious because I'venever done that before in all of
these years that I've cut hishair.
It's just a recent developmentthat I have forgot and.
It has not been just one time.
It has been two or three timesin the last two years that I
forgot to shave this one side ofhis head.
So he's, he watches me now tomake sure I don't put those
(15:37):
clippers down until I have allfour sides shaved.
But this is why I've learnedthat I have to, well round
myself by creating a system witheverything because my.
Direct personality can totallyskip the process of how I do
things just going into taskmode.
(15:59):
I have this to do this, to dothis, to do this, to do, but by
having the rule maker in mestrengthened, I have a system on
how I do everything.
And when I let myself slack anddon't live up to my.
Systems.
That's when things break downand it doesn't happen.
That's when things get overrun.
(16:20):
I am out of balance at work onhow things are done, so then I
have to work even harder torestart the system and like with
cleaning with the holidays.
And then I got sick shortlyafter that.
My suite was dirty.
I had hair blown in the cornersof things that.
I don't know if my customersnoticed, but it drove me crazy
(16:43):
and there was hairspray dust oneverything.
I use hair fibers on the clientand the hair fiber dust is all
over the place.
It's all the way up on top of mycolor cabinet, and every so
often I have to get up there anddust or else there's layers of
this hair fiber and hairspraycoated on things.
It's easy to dust away, but it'sstill disgusting knowing that
(17:06):
there's layers of ick in there.
Systems is how I've learned howto maintain some of the balance
in my life, and I still have totweak my, my systems here and
there.
But this is something I had tolearn how to do because it's not
my natural instinct.
I was all over the place.
(17:29):
My whole life, because it wasthoughtless, I just
automatically did whatever Ifelt was the next thing I had to
accomplish and go for it.
And most things along the sideswere dropped It was not a good
way to do it.
I was very good at gettingthings done that were important
to me.
(17:50):
But not the things that were notimportant to me, which is
usually cleaning an organizationthat is not my strength, but
okay.
Organization in my own personallife.
I need to realize how to bringthat home to my home and my life
and create habits on everything.
(18:12):
If you wanna start with figuringout how to, well round yourself.
Hopefully by now you have anunderstanding of what
personality type is most like.
You.
I talked to someone and theysaid, this one seems very much
like me'cause I do this andthis.
Okay, so that's great.
So now you have a basis of whatyour strengths and weaknesses
(18:35):
are and how you like to seethings and how you like to do
things.
This is the thing that you needto understand now.
You know your strengths.
So what are your weaknesses inthis personality that you need
to improve a little bit, thatyou would love, you personally,
would love to increase thepositive in that you wanna
(18:59):
decrease the weakness, and onlyyou can decide this for
yourself.
Don't let anyone tell you whatyour weaknesses are and what
needs to improve.
This is a personal growthprocess yourself.
This is something a hundredpercent you that you need to
figure out what would make yourlife easier if you just improved
(19:20):
a little bit.
Now, a direct personality, youcan focus on what you need to
improve, and you're right there.
You can figure it out and go.
Everyone else you need to take alittle time, figure a few things
out because everyone else is alittle bit more hesitant.
You don't just jump into it.
The okay, the fun loving mightwant to jump into it, but fun
(19:42):
loving doesn't also like torealize their weaknesses'cause
it's not fun.
That means it's something thathas to be worked on.
Unless you see the, the trippingpoint, the part of your habits
that makes you stop, it stopsthe cycle, the flow of your life
because all of a sudden there'ssomething that affects other
(20:05):
people and yourself around youand not for the good.
So that's something with a funloving, you need to figure out
what you don't like.
There's different things andcues that you get from reactions
from other people.
And if you're looking at yourclients and your family members
trying to figure out theirpersonalities to understand how
(20:25):
to relate a little bit better,you're also gonna figure out
exactly how.
Your actions are affecting otherpeople, their facial
expressions, their behaviors,sometimes their words.
So you need to really just thinkabout if you tweaked one thing,
what would that improve in yourlife?
(20:47):
This is another way to look atit.
You look at someone that youwant to emulate to follow, you,
understand that they'reachieving great things, and they
have, as a stylist, they havethe clientele that you want.
They have the relationships andthe price points that you want
for your business in the future.
(21:07):
What is that person doingdifferently than what you do?
Listen to their words.
Listen to their tone.
Now, sometimes they have a totaldifferent personality than you.
That's okay.
We all have our own gifts andtalents, but it doesn't mean
that you can't work towardsfiguring out what one little
(21:28):
tweak in your personality or inyour behaviors can increase
this.
So you're thinking of differentstair steps to improve.
So if that person is a betterlistener than you, they know how
to take the time and the effortsjust to have a special
relationship with our clients.
(21:49):
You can watch them if you havedowntime and say, okay, how do
they do this?
What is their energy like?
What is their, what are thewords?
Or do they ask more questionsthan talking?
Those are the little things youcan figure out and you can look
at your own behavior, how youhave an interaction with your
clients, with your coworkers,and see where's the difference
(22:12):
there.
What can you tweak to get alittle bit closer to that
person?
Whatever that trait is thatyou're trying to, that, that you
respect.
That's a perfect way to say it.
You respect their behavior inthis because the results they
get is something you want.
(22:34):
If you're in an office and yourmanager has a way of
communicating or patting you onthe back and saying, great job.
I really love how you finishthis project, and I love how you
wrote it all out.
I love how you presented it.
Great job.
If it's just a matter ofaffirming someone, then you have
to figure out, do I affirmpeople?
(22:56):
I want to have my people aroundme feel this great about
themselves as I did whenever mymanager, my boss, told me
something.
This is the art that people needto really understand.
People need pats on the backs.
People need to understand whatthey're doing, right?
So you're not constantly justcriticizing people because
(23:19):
positive gets way better resultsthan the negative.
Just pick one thing and go fromthere.
Which of the personalities doyou wish that you had more of?
I know that's how I started withmine because I was like, but I
want this personality.
I wanna be the fun-loving personwho can.
(23:40):
Have a good laugh all the time.
Who takes things lightly?
Who doesn't get, so upset aboutthe smallest thing.
I want things to roll off myback and just have fun, and I've
had to learn that.
That's not my natural instinctunless I'm totally comfortable
around people.
Figure out, do you want moresteady in your life?
(24:00):
Do you want more direct in yourlife?
Do you want more rule maker?
Do you need boundaries andrules, or are you wanting to be
more fun loving because you canadjust anything in your life to
get a little bit closer to whereyou wanna be.
It's all a learning process.
You do not have to accept whereyou are right now as your whole
(24:21):
boundary in life.
This is not what this is for.
I want you to understandyourself.
So you can relate to otherpeople, but grow and change.
That's what this life is allabout, is understanding how to
become a better person, how tobe a little bit more organized
so that you can achieve morethings.
Because if you take that time toorganize things, you don't have
(24:44):
to scurry around all over theplace trying to play catch up
and to find everything.
In my leadership developmentclass, I learned how to set
goals a little bit better.
I have a good foundation fromthe development business that I
took years ago, but how toactually do it in a professional
sense was huge for me because Iunderstood the general part.
(25:07):
If you can learn how to grow apart of yourself that needs to
soften your weakness, go for it.
Make yourself a better person.
If you have to read self-helpbooks, go for it.
If you need to listen to otherpodcasts, go for it because
there's so many different Habitcreating podcasts out there, you
(25:28):
just have to find someone thatresonates with you and doesn't
force you into a direction thatdoes not feel comfortable
because there are so many outthere, but they're all directed
to different personalities.
You have to understand thepersonalities of the person
teaching it to understand thatthey might just be teaching
(25:48):
their experience, not just.
What speaks to you.
So some things are gonna be toounattainable if it's too
opposite of where you arepersonally.
My whole goal in this podcast isto get you to understand that
once you figure out yourpersonality and understand your
(26:09):
strengths, your weaknesses, whatweakness do you think would be
the most beneficial tostrengthen a little bit more?
Is there something in there thatyou feel you understand that if
I could get that a little bitbetter, my relationships are
gonna be better, or myorganizational skills will be
(26:29):
better, or my mindset will be somuch better?
One step at a time.
Peeps, if you figure out exactlyhow you are and where you want
to go.
Anything is possible becauseyou're making a life plan to
make your life more comfortable,to make the people around you a
little bit more comfortable.
But don't be scared to go backto your number one powerhouse
(26:53):
strength and still be able touse it.
You were given this gift for areason, and sometimes you have
to pull out the big guns just toprotect yourself and to
understand one thing or theother.
I hope this makes sense.
I hope it helped you.
If you have any questions, reachout, talk to me.
(27:16):
I'd love to hear from you.
Have a great week.
I'll see you later.
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