The Cost of Deconstructing - MK Backstrom

If you’ve ever stepped away from high-control religion, you know there’s a cost. Sometimes it’s obvious—the loss of community, relationships, or even belonging in your own family. 

Other times, it’s invisible—the quiet grief of realizing the certainty you once clung to has slipped away, leaving you feeling untethered.

This week on the podcast, we’re digging into that cost—naming the wounds, telling the truth about what we’ve carried, and asking what healing really looks like.

We’re joined by the hilarious and heartbreakingly honest Mary Katherine Backstrom, bestselling author and viral social media sensation.

Mary Katherine grew up the quintessential youth group kid—Bible drills, mission trips, Sunday school answers on speed dial. She was “driving happily down the straight and narrow,” until one day her young son asked: “Will my Jewish best friend go to hell?” That question cracked open everything.

What followed was a season she calls her “heresy era”—a mix of doubt, grief, public honesty, and raw storytelling on social media. Her book shares that wild, messy ride: when faith crashes, burns, and somehow—through grace, therapy, and humor—reshapes into something more expansive and real.

Here’s what we’ll be talking about:

• What it costs us to leave high-control religion—both the visible and invisible toll.
• How humor can become a lifeline in the middle of unraveling.
• The grief of letting go of certainty and the surprise of finding healing in unexpected places.
• Parenting after deconstruction: what changes when your kids start asking the questions you were once too afraid to ask.
• How to break cycles of fear and control so our kids can grow up with freedom, curiosity, and belonging.

If you’ve ever felt the ache of losing what once held you—or wondered if the pain is worth it—you are not alone. This conversation is raw, real, and, yes, laugh-out-loud funny.

You can find MK Backstrom at the following:

Instagram: @marykatherine_author

Facebook: MK Backstrom

Substack Newsletter: MK's Substack