December 31, 2024 • 31 mins
In my latest episode, I’m sharing three big ideas every coach needs to hear: (1) Embracing Authenticity so you can build trust, (2) Ditching Perfectionism to finally move forward, and (3) Why Connection is at the Core of your coaching business. Tune in to learn how to stop waiting for the right moment, show up authentically for your clients, and make real, meaningful connections—both in person and online.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to Deep Dive Dialogues.
I'm your host, dan Warheide,and today I want to talk about a
couple things.
I want to talk aboutauthenticity, I want to talk
about perfectionism and I wantto talk about why connection is
at the heart of every thrivingcoaching business.
Over the past few weeks, again,I've had some amazing
(00:23):
conversations that have sparkedideas on how to be more real in
our interactions, why strivingfor perfection can hold us back
and what it really means to be acoach.
No fancy bells and whistlesrequired here, so I'd like you
to grab your favorite drink, getsettled in and let's dive into
(00:45):
today's topics Now.
Before we do that, I mentionedin my last episode that I have
received a challenge from one ofmy great coaches, crystal
Prophet, to invite you to reviewand or rate this show.
So if you've listened to theseepisodes, if you've listened to
the show and you have a thoughtgood, bad or indifferent I'd
(01:08):
love to invite you to simplyleave a review.
It depends on your favoritelistening app or where you're
listening from.
There are several ways that youcan do that.
In Apple Podcasts, for instance, you have to dig just a little
bit, but you can hit those starson the show itself and you have
an option under those to leaveyour own review.
(01:30):
You can leave me a voicemail onmy podcasting website,
podcastdanwus, and you can signup to receive updates about the
podcast and other things thatare going on in my world there
as well.
So I'd love for you to take amoment to leave us a review.
(01:53):
It's just me.
Leave me a review on this show,tell me what you think, tell me
what you don't like.
If you tell me what you don'tlike, of course, I invite you to
leave me a voicemail and sharethose things there.
But either way, please take amoment to leave that review.
All right, let's jump intotoday's ideas.
(02:16):
I want to start with the powerof authenticity, and you know,
you've probably heard it before.
Maybe it's even overstated in alot of areas, but there's one
big question that I seem to getrecurring and it's how much
should I share with my clientsor with new people I meet?
(02:39):
The truth is, being a coachmeans that we are creating a
safe space where our clientsfeel like they can open up about
their dreams, their challenges.
Not just clients, by the way,everybody that we encounter If
(03:06):
we have a new connection andwe're having a conversation, you
know what can we do to helpthem share their dreams and
their challenges.
If we're not willing to let ourguard down and show some
vulnerability in what we'resharing with that person, then
we risk that person also holdingback.
That balance can feel tricky.
You know that oversharingversus the undersharing, but
authenticity helps to buildgenuine trust and connection
with another person.
(03:30):
So we want to do our best to berelatable.
Share enough of your journey oryour story or your experience
around a particular time.
Maybe you're at a conference asan example and you're sharing
your thoughts about theconference, letting other person
(03:52):
know that you're human too andthat not everything you've
experienced has been extremelywonderful at this conference.
That's just an example.
But you know, sharing thatyou're facing struggles, the
same as they might be.
You don't know until you givethem the space to share what
they can relate to with you.
In fact, I have a belief that insome way, everyone we encounter
(04:13):
has some relatable thing, somerelatable experience, some
relatable knowledge that allowseach of us to be able to relate
to one another in some form orfashion.
We just have to be curiousenough.
We need to create a safe spaceto show that you're approachable
(04:35):
.
This invites your clients orother people to dig deeper and
deeper and share what's reallygoing on, their real concerns,
their dreams, their passions ortheir ideas with you, and I
believe we always need to havepermission to coach someone.
So before you dive into aparticular topic with somebody,
(04:57):
it's a good idea to always askhey, would it be okay if I offer
some coaching here?
Would you like some help withthat thing, that dream, that
topic, that challenge?
This is what I do for a living,or I'm building a business as a
coach and this is what I'mworking on at the moment, and
I'd love to invite you to spendsome time with me if that's
(05:19):
something you'd be open totalking about.
Setting the stage for thatprofessional, trusted
relationship will absolutelyhelp set you apart, but it
requires a bit of authenticity,just being who you are, whatever
the words are for you thatresonate, that make sense, that
(05:40):
allow you to share something andconnect with an individual.
There's no fancy tips or tricksthat I would suggest following
to just have a conversation witha new person or with a
potential client or with yourclient, and I think we'll get
into that a little bit todaywhile I share some of these
(06:02):
other ideas.
So, which leads me to anotherbig obstacle I think and it's a
big obstacle I've seen recurringin the last few conversations
that I've had with other clientsit's perfectionism.
I recently spoke with a clientwho expressed that they were
(06:27):
almost paralyzed.
They hadn't built theirbusiness, they hadn't started
coaching yet, because theywanted to try and get everything
just right.
She was working on her website,she was working on her program
structure, she wanted theperfect agenda or script.
And the irony, I think, in allof this is in all the things
(06:48):
that we're striving for, is wewe sometimes forget the number
one thing that actuallycontributes to growing a
coaching business, and that isconnection with other people,
conversations with other people.
Simply having a conversationwith someone with no formal
agenda, no program or structureto follow, conversations, simple
(07:11):
conversations, can turn into somuch more for people.
If you're curious enough tolisten intently, to ask
questions and be willing tochallenge the beliefs in what
they share or a particularviewpoint about the world from a
place of genuine curiosity.
If you're genuinely curious andthink about how you can just be
(07:36):
curious about this person andtheir worldview, it can uncover
so much for that person.
It can uncover so much for you.
So take action over strivingfor perfection.
It's important to just startcoaching people, whether they're
paid or not.
Then you can spend the monthsand you can spend the money, the
(07:58):
time, the energy on polishingyour online presence or building
your program out, or whateverit may be.
Learn as you go is another thing.
Real growth happens in reallife, in our day-to-day
interactions, not in a vacuum ofplanning all of these finite
(08:19):
details.
Right, if you want to learn, gocoach someone.
No-transcript.
(08:46):
Here's a question I want topose for you to help you think
through this what small actionsteps can you take today that
are going to move you closer tocoaching real people, instead of
spending your time perfectingbehind the scenes details?
(09:08):
Which leads me to one of myother thoughts here.
I've also heard this idearecently, and it's not the first
time I've heard it, but it'scome to mind recently in a
conversation.
Is that this idea you're only aa real coach or a professional
(09:29):
coach?
If you have all of these things, if you have a fancy website,
you have a structured program oran established brand or an
agenda to facilitate yourcoaching conversation, some sort
of guide to follow that's goingto miraculously transform
someone's life and the realityit's.
Look, it's just not true.
(09:51):
Okay, I looked up thedefinition of what a coach is,
and the definition of a coach issomeone who partners with
clients in thought-provoking anda creative process that
inspires them to maximize theirpersonal and professional
potential.
(10:12):
Look, there are 8 billion peoplein the world, and a majority of
them, if not all of them,really want two things they want
to achieve more and they wantto feel better.
Now, if you're listening tothis, think about that for a
minute.
In what area of your life doyou want to achieve more and in
(10:33):
what area of your life do youwant to achieve more?
And in what area of your lifewould you like to feel better?
Maybe it's work.
Maybe you want to feel betterand achieve more in your
coaching practice, your coachingbusiness.
Maybe you want to improve yourhealth, your wealth, your mental
well-being, whatever it may be.
(10:54):
There really are two bigumbrellas.
You either want to achieve moreor you want to feel better, or
both in some area of your life,and so does pretty much every
person you meet.
It's your job to uncover whatit is and whether or not it's a
(11:16):
good fit for you to potentiallyhelp them the true definition of
a coach, or what coaching is atits core.
You know, I've given you thedefinition.
I think there's really threethings that allow you to
distinguish yourself from notbeing a coach to being a
(11:38):
professional coach, and thefirst one is the first thing
about coaching is the desire toserve people.
To serve people deeply, helpingothers to see new perspectives
and create the transformation intheir life that they would like
to see.
Now.
This implies that they have thedesire, of course, to have
(12:01):
someone help them with this, andyou know, maybe your invitation
to help them with this topicmay be all that they need to
express that desire.
But you have to have the desirefirst to be curious about them
and the desire to serve peoplepassionately to even find out if
(12:22):
they, too, have the desire.
Now, the second thing aboutcoaching is you have to have a
way to connect, and whetheryou're in person with someone or
you're using a phone call foryour sessions or you facilitate
them over Zoom, doesn't matter.
You have to have a medium inwhich to coach someone.
The third thing you need to bea coach is a means to receive a
(12:48):
payment and a reminder here thatyou're providing a service, a
professional service to someone.
You should get paid for that.
But whether that you're paid ornot, these are the three core
components I believe that youneed.
You need the desire to serve,you need a way to connect with
someone or facilitate thatcoaching experience for someone,
(13:10):
and you need to be able to takepayment from someone and I
don't know about you, but I willtake cash.
So if you meet those threethings, then you can coach
people and you are aprofessional coach.
The atmosphere that you createis what sets you apart from
other coaches as a professionalcoach, but that doesn't require
(13:34):
you have any fancy plan that'sgoing to walk people through
some seven-step process toachieve their deepest, darkest
desires.
So whether you're brand new tocoaching, to the business of
coaching, or whether you haveyears under your belt, you are a
(13:56):
coach the moment you startguiding someone through a
transformation, whatever thatlooks like.
There's no perfect plan.
There's no perfect outline.
Those three core components arewhat it takes to take you from
not having a business ofcoaching to being in the
(14:16):
business of coaching.
If you want to be a coach, thencoach Everything else, like
websites, formal programs.
They all come second toactively I could speak, engaging
in real conversations that helppeople move forward.
Now I want to pause here forjust a second.
(14:37):
Let's talk about perfectionismagain in real life, because the
reality is it's Tuesday morning,december 31st.
It's currently 718 am, but Istarted this recording at around
530 am.
I've had a couple pauses andinterruptions because, well,
(14:58):
there's no such thing asperfectionism.
It is made up.
It's this reality that wecreate for ourselves and ideally
, I would have recorded thispodcast yesterday and I found
myself in some amazing coachingconversations with some new
connections that I made, and itwas a result of looking for an
(15:20):
opportunity to connect withpeople I hadn't connected with.
I posted in a group that I'm apart of, a community that I'm a
part of that I found myselfwithout any scheduled coaching
conversations on my calendarthis week.
It is the week of New Year's andI planned it that way, but I
wanted to engage in someconversation yesterday and found
(15:43):
myself here at home and wantedto put that opportunity out.
So I spent my time engaging inthose conversations and at the
end of the day, I was like, ohmy gosh, I forgot to record my
podcast and I had no idea what Iwas going to talk about.
So I got up early this morning,new Year's Eve day, and spent
(16:04):
some time writing out some of mythoughts and creating an
outline so that I had a podcastepisode to record.
And in the midst of that wehave a dog that woke up hearing
my voice in the other room andshe was barking in the
background.
You may hear her in thisrecording.
So I've had to stop a coupletimes.
(16:26):
I had to deal with that.
I had to pour some new cups ofcoffee, a new cup of coffee, all
the things.
It doesn't always go as plannedand that is okay.
So there's some real-worldactive moments for you in my
life.
And right, I mean, let's bereal, I could have put intro
(16:50):
music to this podcast.
I could have done all thethings.
Instead of publishing thesepodcast episodes.
I chose to publish this podcastand these podcast episodes
rather than striving for anysort of perfected nuances that
could potentially be part of apodcast.
I wanted to do this podcastreally more for me and to be
(17:13):
consistently in the creativepodcast.
The same way, I'm encouragingyou to be consistently in the
connection space, in thecoaching space, in the
consulting space, doing the workof whatever it is that you want
, you desire to achieve.
If you want to coach, thencoach.
(17:33):
If you want to record a podcast, then desire to achieve.
If you want to coach, thencoach.
If you want to record a podcast, then record a podcast.
If you want to consult somebody, then go, build those
connections, consult with people, offer them that opportunity,
bring them into your world, intoyour experience.
Now I publish this podcast inthe hopes that, you know, maybe
there's one other person, one ofyou out there can benefit from
(17:55):
some of the things that I'msharing.
But that's the golden nugget ontop of why I'm publishing this
podcast.
So there's the rest of my realworld for you.
If you haven't heard me saythat on the show before, there
you go, so connecting.
But let's talk about that,because that's another thought
that I had.
People are are so often and Ithink I said this in one of my
(18:17):
recent episodes but people arelooking for shortcuts everywhere
.
They're looking for some sortof marketing hack, some sort of
sales script that's going tohelp them have these
conversations, some social mediastrategy that's going to help
you achieve more results in whatyou're trying to do in your
business.
And I think we're looking overthe most important piece, and
(18:40):
it's that pure human connection.
You can meet people in yourcommunity.
Don't underestimate thepotential.
Right in your own backyard,from your local coffee shops to
your local meetups, there areendless ways to spark
conversations.
Look in my town, in my littlecity that I'm currently living
(19:02):
in now we're moving in themiddle of January to another
smaller, actually a smallercommunity, which I am looking
forward to, not because of thesize of the community, because
of the location.
We're going to be right thereon the beach.
Finally, it's been one of mydesires and it's coming to
fruition ever since putting itout to the world Actually, I put
(19:25):
it out to a community I'm in asone of my goals for 2025.
And within two weeks we hadfound a place, then signed the
paperwork to start that process,and we are moving in the middle
of January, amongst many otherthings going on, but we'll make
that work.
(19:45):
Anyway, there are endless waysto spark conversations.
In my current city, there is apopulation of 50,000 people and
I promise you I have not eventouched, scratched the surface
of connecting with or meetingall 50,000 people in this
community.
And add to that we are the homeof Kennedy Space Center and
(20:07):
there are thousands of peoplethat visit here week after week
to watch the shuttle launches ornot.
Shuttle, oh my gosh.
The shuttle program ended quitea few years ago.
But to watch the rocketlaunches space, that spacex
launches one to three rocketseach week and blue origin has
just been approved to launchtheir new glenn rocket and so
(20:29):
they've just done some testingon that and they should be
launching soon.
But my point is, people comehere all the time to visit.
They eat at the restaurantshere, they visit the parks, they
visit the beaches.
There's endless opportunitiesto meet at least one new person
and connect with at least onenew person right here in my own
backyard.
So I want to encourage youdon't underestimate the
(20:52):
potential in your backyard.
Go out and have a conversationwith someone.
Go sit in a coffee shop and becurious about what other people
are doing.
Online platforms, social media,can certainly expand your
ability to reach people.
Yes, but don't forget thesimple power of that
(21:17):
face-to-face interaction, thatface-to-face conversation with a
person.
The best way to connect withsomeone, I believe, is in-person
first.
If that's not feasible, notpossible for some reason in your
world, then, yeah, social mediacan be a tool that helps you
(21:38):
expand that as an opportunity,but looking for shortcuts to
generate leads leads to a wholedifferent conversation.
No pun intended with the leads,but, um, and if you didn't
catch that I said, leads topotential new conversations, but
(21:59):
not a shortcut to generateleads for your business.
I I believe that there is noshortcut to creating authentic
connections and relationshipswith people which actually lead
to more prosperity in yourbusiness.
But you can use these platforms, these tools, social media, to
(22:22):
help expand your existing reach.
And asking so part of connectingas a coach right, someone may
share.
So asking for permission iswhere I'm going here.
Someone may share an idea withyou.
They may share that dream or achallenge that they're
experiencing in their world.
(22:42):
That is your cue to invite theminto a coaching conversation.
I have some ideas around that.
Would you be open to exploringthose together?
As you know, if they know thatyou're a coach, as you know, hey
, I do this for a living and I'dlove to invite you to a
conversation where we canexplore that.
(23:03):
Is that something you'd be opento?
Or if they don't know you're acoach, hey, I am.
Or maybe you're a new coach.
Let me go with that example.
Maybe you're new to thebusiness of coaching and you're
looking to start expanding yourexisting client base or adding
your first new client or one ofyour first new clients.
You could say something likehey, I'm in the process of
(23:27):
building a business as a coach,or I'm in the process of
shifting my focus from mycurrent work into working
full-time as a coach and I havesome ideas around that.
I wondered if you'd be open tositting down and exploring those
together.
Great, let's set up a time.
And if not, what's the worstthat's going to happen?
(23:48):
No, thank you.
I think I'm good.
I don't know that coachingwould benefit me, and maybe
that's an opportunity to have adifferent discussion, because do
they know what coaching is,what the value of coaching is?
So you could potentially talkabout that too.
There's lots of opportunitiesthere, but always seek
(24:09):
permission.
That's going to set you apartfrom the rest of the world of
coaches and consultants, wherepeople are often throwing out
advice that's not sought.
They're throwing out theirideas as part of a conversation,
and there's nothing wrong withsharing ideas, especially if
that's the forum in which you'vecreated with someone and you're
(24:31):
sitting down.
You're having just a genuineconversation.
They share some ideas, maybethey ask for your input, and
that's also a clear opportunityto distinguish yourself as a
professional coach is hey, youknow I'd love to contribute some
ideas to this topic, but, asyou know or maybe they don't
again, I am a coach.
This is what I do for a livingand I'd be open to exploring
(24:55):
that with you.
Here's what that would looklike.
Right, there's a coupledifferent ways you can go with
that.
Okay, I think I've shared theideas.
I think I've shared the ideasthat I had outlined for today,
and before I wrap up, I want tojust a bit more of a rant on
(25:19):
connection, if you don't mind.
How about that?
So, this came up again recentlyand it's something that I had
talked about before, and I knowI've talked about it in a
previous podcast which I hosted,and it came up in conversation,
and then I actually sawsomething in social media about
(25:40):
it yesterday.
But let's talk for a minuteabout the big box stores.
Right, you've experienced it.
They have shifted so much oftheir efforts into this self
checkout experience and, whilethere's so many different rants
about that by itself and wecould go a hundred different
ways here but I just want to sayI think they believe that this
(26:03):
is an efficient way to improvetheir bottom line.
I think well, I'll be honest inmy opinion here that I do
everything I can to actuallyvisit a cashier in a line.
I will wait longer than somepeople are willing to wait just
for that experience because Ithink there's well I won't get
(26:23):
into, well I will I'll share.
I think that thoseself-checkouts are taking jobs
from real people.
I get the cost-cutting measuresthat may be a part of that, but
I think we're missing a realopportunity.
I think those big box storesare missing a huge opportunity
(26:43):
for that human interaction piece, the customer service piece.
That actually is what I believepeople are unconsciously
seeking in those experiences,and those few seconds of a
casual conversation at a cashregister might be the only
(27:07):
personal interaction that somepeople get that entire day.
And after these past few years,you know, coming out of the
pandemic that we all experienced, you know, I think we're seeing
more and more how criticalthose real connection
opportunities are, and so Ithink that's a huge missed
experience which, as coaches, weget to offer in a deeper, more
(27:33):
meaningful way.
So I would encourage you toembrace it, lean into the
personal connections and theopportunities that exist in that
space that our retail giantsare creating for us, and I think
you'll see that your coachingpractice will grow naturally.
It'll grow organically.
(27:53):
It'll be much more of arewarding experience for you if
you just look at those asopportunities.
So here's my wrap-up for you andmy final cause to action for
2024.
Yes, it's the New Year's Eve.
It's New Year's Eve and the newyear is upon us, so I'm going
(28:19):
to encourage you Be authentic,open up, share and invite deeper
trust with the people youencounter.
Stop overthinking.
You don't need everything to beperfect to start coaching
people, so stop overthinking.
Ask for permission in yourcoaching.
Elevate a casual conversationinto a coaching relationship by
(28:41):
simply asking if they would likehelp with that.
That's going to set you apartfrom many coaches and be the
distinction between what you seein coaching and professional
coaching.
Asking for permission here'sanother rant.
Actually, let me pause there.
(29:02):
It's not a rant.
This is just a pause and areflection around that topic,
because what I believe is thegreatest thing about the
coaching world as it existstoday is there are no real rules
, there's no regulatory body forus.
You have some organizationswhich have created some
standardized processes and someethics in which we can use as a
(29:26):
guide, but there's norequirement for that.
Certainly, it's impactful andit's helpful to follow a ethical
approach to how you createclients, how you conduct your
business, how you conduct yourcoaching and I would never
encourage anyone to do anythingthat's unethical.
(29:46):
And if you want to facilitatemore of that into your work,
your ideology, your concepts,you can explore what is offered
out there as far as ethicalguidelines for coaches, but
there's no requirement toincorporate any or all of those
things into your business.
(30:06):
The one distinguishing factorthat will make a difference is
asking for permission beyondhaving a code of ethics for your
business and approaching thingsfrom an ethical manner.
So stay connected.
That's the next one.
Whether it's in your ownneighborhood, whether it's
(30:27):
online, focus on making genuineconnections.
That is the heartbeat of yourbusiness.
In fact, it's the differencebetween whether you're in
business or not.
You need to nurture thoseconnections and start inviting
people into your world, intoyour coaching coaching.
(30:48):
So start 2025 off right.
Think about what you're goingto do, what steps you're going
to take next.
Get out there, talk to peopleand offer your coaching, because
, at the end of the day, theonly difference between an
aspiring coach and an actualcoach is the willingness to show
up and serve, the desire totake intentional action.
(31:12):
So thank you so much forspending your time with me today
and throughout the last fewepisodes of 2024.
If you've got value at out ofthis episode, then I encourage
you to share it with someone whomaybe needs a little nudge, and
(31:33):
I will see you again next year.
Welcome back to Deep Dive Dialogues.
I'm your host, dan Warheide,and today I want to talk about a
couple things.
I want to talk aboutauthenticity, I want to talk
about perfectionism and I wantto talk about why connection is
at the heart of every thrivingcoaching business.
Over the past few weeks, again,I've had some amazing
(00:23):
conversations that have sparkedideas on how to be more real in
our interactions, why strivingfor perfection can hold us back
and what it really means to be acoach.
No fancy bells and whistlesrequired here, so I'd like you
to grab your favorite drink, getsettled in and let's dive into
(00:45):
today's topics Now.
Before we do that, I mentionedin my last episode that I have
received a challenge from one ofmy great coaches, crystal
Prophet, to invite you to reviewand or rate this show.
So if you've listened to theseepisodes, if you've listened to
the show and you have a thoughtgood, bad or indifferent I'd
(01:08):
love to invite you to simplyleave a review.
It depends on your favoritelistening app or where you're
listening from.
There are several ways that youcan do that.
In Apple Podcasts, for instance, you have to dig just a little
bit, but you can hit those starson the show itself and you have
an option under those to leaveyour own review.
(01:30):
You can leave me a voicemail onmy podcasting website,
podcastdanwus, and you can signup to receive updates about the
podcast and other things thatare going on in my world there
as well.
So I'd love for you to take amoment to leave us a review.
(01:53):
It's just me.
Leave me a review on this show,tell me what you think, tell me
what you don't like.
If you tell me what you don'tlike, of course, I invite you to
leave me a voicemail and sharethose things there.
But either way, please take amoment to leave that review.
All right, let's jump intotoday's ideas.
(02:16):
I want to start with the powerof authenticity, and you know,
you've probably heard it before.
Maybe it's even overstated in alot of areas, but there's one
big question that I seem to getrecurring and it's how much
should I share with my clientsor with new people I meet?
(02:39):
The truth is, being a coachmeans that we are creating a
safe space where our clientsfeel like they can open up about
their dreams, their challenges.
Not just clients, by the way,everybody that we encounter If
(03:06):
we have a new connection andwe're having a conversation, you
know what can we do to helpthem share their dreams and
their challenges.
If we're not willing to let ourguard down and show some
vulnerability in what we'resharing with that person, then
we risk that person also holdingback.
That balance can feel tricky.
You know that oversharingversus the undersharing, but
authenticity helps to buildgenuine trust and connection
with another person.
(03:30):
So we want to do our best to berelatable.
Share enough of your journey oryour story or your experience
around a particular time.
Maybe you're at a conference asan example and you're sharing
your thoughts about theconference, letting other person
(03:52):
know that you're human too andthat not everything you've
experienced has been extremelywonderful at this conference.
That's just an example.
But you know, sharing thatyou're facing struggles, the
same as they might be.
You don't know until you givethem the space to share what
they can relate to with you.
In fact, I have a belief that insome way, everyone we encounter
(04:13):
has some relatable thing, somerelatable experience, some
relatable knowledge that allowseach of us to be able to relate
to one another in some form orfashion.
We just have to be curiousenough.
We need to create a safe spaceto show that you're approachable
(04:35):
.
This invites your clients orother people to dig deeper and
deeper and share what's reallygoing on, their real concerns,
their dreams, their passions ortheir ideas with you, and I
believe we always need to havepermission to coach someone.
So before you dive into aparticular topic with somebody,
(04:57):
it's a good idea to always askhey, would it be okay if I offer
some coaching here?
Would you like some help withthat thing, that dream, that
topic, that challenge?
This is what I do for a living,or I'm building a business as a
coach and this is what I'mworking on at the moment, and
I'd love to invite you to spendsome time with me if that's
(05:19):
something you'd be open totalking about.
Setting the stage for thatprofessional, trusted
relationship will absolutelyhelp set you apart, but it
requires a bit of authenticity,just being who you are, whatever
the words are for you thatresonate, that make sense, that
(05:40):
allow you to share something andconnect with an individual.
There's no fancy tips or tricksthat I would suggest following
to just have a conversation witha new person or with a
potential client or with yourclient, and I think we'll get
into that a little bit todaywhile I share some of these
(06:02):
other ideas.
So, which leads me to anotherbig obstacle I think and it's a
big obstacle I've seen recurringin the last few conversations
that I've had with other clientsit's perfectionism.
I recently spoke with a clientwho expressed that they were
(06:27):
almost paralyzed.
They hadn't built theirbusiness, they hadn't started
coaching yet, because theywanted to try and get everything
just right.
She was working on her website,she was working on her program
structure, she wanted theperfect agenda or script.
And the irony, I think, in allof this is in all the things
(06:48):
that we're striving for, is wewe sometimes forget the number
one thing that actuallycontributes to growing a
coaching business, and that isconnection with other people,
conversations with other people.
Simply having a conversationwith someone with no formal
agenda, no program or structureto follow, conversations, simple
(07:11):
conversations, can turn into somuch more for people.
If you're curious enough tolisten intently, to ask
questions and be willing tochallenge the beliefs in what
they share or a particularviewpoint about the world from a
place of genuine curiosity.
If you're genuinely curious andthink about how you can just be
(07:36):
curious about this person andtheir worldview, it can uncover
so much for that person.
It can uncover so much for you.
So take action over strivingfor perfection.
It's important to just startcoaching people, whether they're
paid or not.
Then you can spend the monthsand you can spend the money, the
(07:58):
time, the energy on polishingyour online presence or building
your program out, or whateverit may be.
Learn as you go is another thing.
Real growth happens in reallife, in our day-to-day
interactions, not in a vacuum ofplanning all of these finite
(08:19):
details.
Right, if you want to learn, gocoach someone.
No-transcript.
(08:46):
Here's a question I want topose for you to help you think
through this what small actionsteps can you take today that
are going to move you closer tocoaching real people, instead of
spending your time perfectingbehind the scenes details?
(09:08):
Which leads me to one of myother thoughts here.
I've also heard this idearecently, and it's not the first
time I've heard it, but it'scome to mind recently in a
conversation.
Is that this idea you're only aa real coach or a professional
(09:29):
coach?
If you have all of these things, if you have a fancy website,
you have a structured program oran established brand or an
agenda to facilitate yourcoaching conversation, some sort
of guide to follow that's goingto miraculously transform
someone's life and the realityit's.
Look, it's just not true.
(09:51):
Okay, I looked up thedefinition of what a coach is,
and the definition of a coach issomeone who partners with
clients in thought-provoking anda creative process that
inspires them to maximize theirpersonal and professional
potential.
(10:12):
Look, there are 8 billion peoplein the world, and a majority of
them, if not all of them,really want two things they want
to achieve more and they wantto feel better.
Now, if you're listening tothis, think about that for a
minute.
In what area of your life doyou want to achieve more and in
(10:33):
what area of your life do youwant to achieve more?
And in what area of your lifewould you like to feel better?
Maybe it's work.
Maybe you want to feel betterand achieve more in your
coaching practice, your coachingbusiness.
Maybe you want to improve yourhealth, your wealth, your mental
well-being, whatever it may be.
(10:54):
There really are two bigumbrellas.
You either want to achieve moreor you want to feel better, or
both in some area of your life,and so does pretty much every
person you meet.
It's your job to uncover whatit is and whether or not it's a
(11:16):
good fit for you to potentiallyhelp them the true definition of
a coach, or what coaching is atits core.
You know, I've given you thedefinition.
I think there's really threethings that allow you to
distinguish yourself from notbeing a coach to being a
(11:38):
professional coach, and thefirst one is the first thing
about coaching is the desire toserve people.
To serve people deeply, helpingothers to see new perspectives
and create the transformation intheir life that they would like
to see.
Now.
This implies that they have thedesire, of course, to have
(12:01):
someone help them with this, andyou know, maybe your invitation
to help them with this topicmay be all that they need to
express that desire.
But you have to have the desirefirst to be curious about them
and the desire to serve peoplepassionately to even find out if
(12:22):
they, too, have the desire.
Now, the second thing aboutcoaching is you have to have a
way to connect, and whetheryou're in person with someone or
you're using a phone call foryour sessions or you facilitate
them over Zoom, doesn't matter.
You have to have a medium inwhich to coach someone.
The third thing you need to bea coach is a means to receive a
(12:48):
payment and a reminder here thatyou're providing a service, a
professional service to someone.
You should get paid for that.
But whether that you're paid ornot, these are the three core
components I believe that youneed.
You need the desire to serve,you need a way to connect with
someone or facilitate thatcoaching experience for someone,
(13:10):
and you need to be able to takepayment from someone and I
don't know about you, but I willtake cash.
So if you meet those threethings, then you can coach
people and you are aprofessional coach.
The atmosphere that you createis what sets you apart from
other coaches as a professionalcoach, but that doesn't require
(13:34):
you have any fancy plan that'sgoing to walk people through
some seven-step process toachieve their deepest, darkest
desires.
So whether you're brand new tocoaching, to the business of
coaching, or whether you haveyears under your belt, you are a
(13:56):
coach the moment you startguiding someone through a
transformation, whatever thatlooks like.
There's no perfect plan.
There's no perfect outline.
Those three core components arewhat it takes to take you from
not having a business ofcoaching to being in the
(14:16):
business of coaching.
If you want to be a coach, thencoach Everything else, like
websites, formal programs.
They all come second toactively I could speak, engaging
in real conversations that helppeople move forward.
Now I want to pause here forjust a second.
(14:37):
Let's talk about perfectionismagain in real life, because the
reality is it's Tuesday morning,december 31st.
It's currently 718 am, but Istarted this recording at around
530 am.
I've had a couple pauses andinterruptions because, well,
(14:58):
there's no such thing asperfectionism.
It is made up.
It's this reality that wecreate for ourselves and ideally
, I would have recorded thispodcast yesterday and I found
myself in some amazing coachingconversations with some new
connections that I made, and itwas a result of looking for an
(15:20):
opportunity to connect withpeople I hadn't connected with.
I posted in a group that I'm apart of, a community that I'm a
part of that I found myselfwithout any scheduled coaching
conversations on my calendarthis week.
It is the week of New Year's andI planned it that way, but I
wanted to engage in someconversation yesterday and found
(15:43):
myself here at home and wantedto put that opportunity out.
So I spent my time engaging inthose conversations and at the
end of the day, I was like, ohmy gosh, I forgot to record my
podcast and I had no idea what Iwas going to talk about.
So I got up early this morning,new Year's Eve day, and spent
(16:04):
some time writing out some of mythoughts and creating an
outline so that I had a podcastepisode to record.
And in the midst of that wehave a dog that woke up hearing
my voice in the other room andshe was barking in the
background.
You may hear her in thisrecording.
So I've had to stop a coupletimes.
(16:26):
I had to deal with that.
I had to pour some new cups ofcoffee, a new cup of coffee, all
the things.
It doesn't always go as plannedand that is okay.
So there's some real-worldactive moments for you in my
life.
And right, I mean, let's bereal, I could have put intro
(16:50):
music to this podcast.
I could have done all thethings.
Instead of publishing thesepodcast episodes.
I chose to publish this podcastand these podcast episodes
rather than striving for anysort of perfected nuances that
could potentially be part of apodcast.
I wanted to do this podcastreally more for me and to be
(17:13):
consistently in the creativepodcast.
The same way, I'm encouragingyou to be consistently in the
connection space, in thecoaching space, in the
consulting space, doing the workof whatever it is that you want
, you desire to achieve.
If you want to coach, thencoach.
(17:33):
If you want to record a podcast, then desire to achieve.
If you want to coach, thencoach.
If you want to record a podcast, then record a podcast.
If you want to consult somebody, then go, build those
connections, consult with people, offer them that opportunity,
bring them into your world, intoyour experience.
Now I publish this podcast inthe hopes that, you know, maybe
there's one other person, one ofyou out there can benefit from
(17:55):
some of the things that I'msharing.
But that's the golden nugget ontop of why I'm publishing this
podcast.
So there's the rest of my realworld for you.
If you haven't heard me saythat on the show before, there
you go, so connecting.
But let's talk about that,because that's another thought
that I had.
People are are so often and Ithink I said this in one of my
(18:17):
recent episodes but people arelooking for shortcuts everywhere
.
They're looking for some sortof marketing hack, some sort of
sales script that's going tohelp them have these
conversations, some social mediastrategy that's going to help
you achieve more results in whatyou're trying to do in your
business.
And I think we're looking overthe most important piece, and
(18:40):
it's that pure human connection.
You can meet people in yourcommunity.
Don't underestimate thepotential.
Right in your own backyard,from your local coffee shops to
your local meetups, there areendless ways to spark
conversations.
Look in my town, in my littlecity that I'm currently living
(19:02):
in now we're moving in themiddle of January to another
smaller, actually a smallercommunity, which I am looking
forward to, not because of thesize of the community, because
of the location.
We're going to be right thereon the beach.
Finally, it's been one of mydesires and it's coming to
fruition ever since putting itout to the world Actually, I put
(19:25):
it out to a community I'm in asone of my goals for 2025.
And within two weeks we hadfound a place, then signed the
paperwork to start that process,and we are moving in the middle
of January, amongst many otherthings going on, but we'll make
that work.
(19:45):
Anyway, there are endless waysto spark conversations.
In my current city, there is apopulation of 50,000 people and
I promise you I have not eventouched, scratched the surface
of connecting with or meetingall 50,000 people in this
community.
And add to that we are the homeof Kennedy Space Center and
(20:07):
there are thousands of peoplethat visit here week after week
to watch the shuttle launches ornot.
Shuttle, oh my gosh.
The shuttle program ended quitea few years ago.
But to watch the rocketlaunches space, that spacex
launches one to three rocketseach week and blue origin has
just been approved to launchtheir new glenn rocket and so
(20:29):
they've just done some testingon that and they should be
launching soon.
But my point is, people comehere all the time to visit.
They eat at the restaurantshere, they visit the parks, they
visit the beaches.
There's endless opportunitiesto meet at least one new person
and connect with at least onenew person right here in my own
backyard.
So I want to encourage youdon't underestimate the
(20:52):
potential in your backyard.
Go out and have a conversationwith someone.
Go sit in a coffee shop and becurious about what other people
are doing.
Online platforms, social media,can certainly expand your
ability to reach people.
Yes, but don't forget thesimple power of that
(21:17):
face-to-face interaction, thatface-to-face conversation with a
person.
The best way to connect withsomeone, I believe, is in-person
first.
If that's not feasible, notpossible for some reason in your
world, then, yeah, social mediacan be a tool that helps you
(21:38):
expand that as an opportunity,but looking for shortcuts to
generate leads leads to a wholedifferent conversation.
No pun intended with the leads,but, um, and if you didn't
catch that I said, leads topotential new conversations, but
(21:59):
not a shortcut to generateleads for your business.
I I believe that there is noshortcut to creating authentic
connections and relationshipswith people which actually lead
to more prosperity in yourbusiness.
But you can use these platforms, these tools, social media, to
(22:22):
help expand your existing reach.
And asking so part of connectingas a coach right, someone may
share.
So asking for permission iswhere I'm going here.
Someone may share an idea withyou.
They may share that dream or achallenge that they're
experiencing in their world.
(22:42):
That is your cue to invite theminto a coaching conversation.
I have some ideas around that.
Would you be open to exploringthose together?
As you know, if they know thatyou're a coach, as you know, hey
, I do this for a living and I'dlove to invite you to a
conversation where we canexplore that.
(23:03):
Is that something you'd be opento?
Or if they don't know you're acoach, hey, I am.
Or maybe you're a new coach.
Let me go with that example.
Maybe you're new to thebusiness of coaching and you're
looking to start expanding yourexisting client base or adding
your first new client or one ofyour first new clients.
You could say something likehey, I'm in the process of
(23:27):
building a business as a coach,or I'm in the process of
shifting my focus from mycurrent work into working
full-time as a coach and I havesome ideas around that.
I wondered if you'd be open tositting down and exploring those
together.
Great, let's set up a time.
And if not, what's the worstthat's going to happen?
(23:48):
No, thank you.
I think I'm good.
I don't know that coachingwould benefit me, and maybe
that's an opportunity to have adifferent discussion, because do
they know what coaching is,what the value of coaching is?
So you could potentially talkabout that too.
There's lots of opportunitiesthere, but always seek
(24:09):
permission.
That's going to set you apartfrom the rest of the world of
coaches and consultants, wherepeople are often throwing out
advice that's not sought.
They're throwing out theirideas as part of a conversation,
and there's nothing wrong withsharing ideas, especially if
that's the forum in which you'vecreated with someone and you're
(24:31):
sitting down.
You're having just a genuineconversation.
They share some ideas, maybethey ask for your input, and
that's also a clear opportunityto distinguish yourself as a
professional coach is hey, youknow I'd love to contribute some
ideas to this topic, but, asyou know or maybe they don't
again, I am a coach.
This is what I do for a livingand I'd be open to exploring
(24:55):
that with you.
Here's what that would looklike.
Right, there's a coupledifferent ways you can go with
that.
Okay, I think I've shared theideas.
I think I've shared the ideasthat I had outlined for today,
and before I wrap up, I want tojust a bit more of a rant on
(25:19):
connection, if you don't mind.
How about that?
So, this came up again recentlyand it's something that I had
talked about before, and I knowI've talked about it in a
previous podcast which I hosted,and it came up in conversation,
and then I actually sawsomething in social media about
(25:40):
it yesterday.
But let's talk for a minuteabout the big box stores.
Right, you've experienced it.
They have shifted so much oftheir efforts into this self
checkout experience and, whilethere's so many different rants
about that by itself and wecould go a hundred different
ways here but I just want to sayI think they believe that this
(26:03):
is an efficient way to improvetheir bottom line.
I think well, I'll be honest inmy opinion here that I do
everything I can to actuallyvisit a cashier in a line.
I will wait longer than somepeople are willing to wait just
for that experience because Ithink there's well I won't get
(26:23):
into, well I will I'll share.
I think that thoseself-checkouts are taking jobs
from real people.
I get the cost-cutting measuresthat may be a part of that, but
I think we're missing a realopportunity.
I think those big box storesare missing a huge opportunity
(26:43):
for that human interaction piece, the customer service piece.
That actually is what I believepeople are unconsciously
seeking in those experiences,and those few seconds of a
casual conversation at a cashregister might be the only
(27:07):
personal interaction that somepeople get that entire day.
And after these past few years,you know, coming out of the
pandemic that we all experienced, you know, I think we're seeing
more and more how criticalthose real connection
opportunities are, and so Ithink that's a huge missed
experience which, as coaches, weget to offer in a deeper, more
(27:33):
meaningful way.
So I would encourage you toembrace it, lean into the
personal connections and theopportunities that exist in that
space that our retail giantsare creating for us, and I think
you'll see that your coachingpractice will grow naturally.
It'll grow organically.
(27:53):
It'll be much more of arewarding experience for you if
you just look at those asopportunities.
So here's my wrap-up for you andmy final cause to action for
2024.
Yes, it's the New Year's Eve.
It's New Year's Eve and the newyear is upon us, so I'm going
(28:19):
to encourage you Be authentic,open up, share and invite deeper
trust with the people youencounter.
Stop overthinking.
You don't need everything to beperfect to start coaching
people, so stop overthinking.
Ask for permission in yourcoaching.
Elevate a casual conversationinto a coaching relationship by
(28:41):
simply asking if they would likehelp with that.
That's going to set you apartfrom many coaches and be the
distinction between what you seein coaching and professional
coaching.
Asking for permission here'sanother rant.
Actually, let me pause there.
(29:02):
It's not a rant.
This is just a pause and areflection around that topic,
because what I believe is thegreatest thing about the
coaching world as it existstoday is there are no real rules
, there's no regulatory body forus.
You have some organizationswhich have created some
standardized processes and someethics in which we can use as a
(29:26):
guide, but there's norequirement for that.
Certainly, it's impactful andit's helpful to follow a ethical
approach to how you createclients, how you conduct your
business, how you conduct yourcoaching and I would never
encourage anyone to do anythingthat's unethical.
(29:46):
And if you want to facilitatemore of that into your work,
your ideology, your concepts,you can explore what is offered
out there as far as ethicalguidelines for coaches, but
there's no requirement toincorporate any or all of those
things into your business.
(30:06):
The one distinguishing factorthat will make a difference is
asking for permission beyondhaving a code of ethics for your
business and approaching thingsfrom an ethical manner.
So stay connected.
That's the next one.
Whether it's in your ownneighborhood, whether it's
(30:27):
online, focus on making genuineconnections.
That is the heartbeat of yourbusiness.
In fact, it's the differencebetween whether you're in
business or not.
You need to nurture thoseconnections and start inviting
people into your world, intoyour coaching coaching.
(30:48):
So start 2025 off right.
Think about what you're goingto do, what steps you're going
to take next.
Get out there, talk to peopleand offer your coaching, because
, at the end of the day, theonly difference between an
aspiring coach and an actualcoach is the willingness to show
up and serve, the desire totake intentional action.
(31:12):
So thank you so much forspending your time with me today
and throughout the last fewepisodes of 2024.
If you've got value at out ofthis episode, then I encourage
you to share it with someone whomaybe needs a little nudge, and
(31:33):
I will see you again next year.
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