December 23, 2024 • 12 mins
Hey everyone, Dan here! In this episode, I’m diving into the idea of ‘imposter syndrome’—and why it may not be what you think it is. We’ll look at how the term got started, why it’s so widespread, and what’s really going on when you feel that knot in your stomach telling you you’re not good enough. I’ll share why actual ‘imposters’ are out to deceive people (which probably isn’t you!) and how simple steps like practicing your coaching skills, investing in your own growth, and consistently filling your calendar can help you kick self-doubt to the curb. If you’re ready to gain confidence, get real experience, and build your coaching or consulting business without feeling like a fraud, you won’t want to miss this one!
Links and Resources
Krytal Proffitt - https://krystalproffitt.com/
Podcast coach, content strategist, best-selling author, lifelong cheerleader, and content marketer obsessed with boosting your confidence.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, welcome back to Deep Dive Dialogues.
I'm your host, or even a lackof confidence, but I want to
challenge this in a way thatasks the question does it really
(00:32):
mean what we think it means?
And I'm going to venture to sayprobably not.
So I hope that with you today,we can redefine this.
And then I want to jump intowhy your calendar might be the
single most important tool inyour online business, whether
you're a coach, consultant or acreator of other sorts.
(00:53):
And before we do any of that,one of my coaches in the world
of podcasting it happens to beis Crystal Prophet.
I'll link to her work in theshow notes, but she has
challenged me.
She did a podcast review for merecently and she challenged me
in that review to be moreintentional about asking for
(01:16):
reviews.
So if you listen to my show andyou've not yet taken the time
to leave a review or a rating,depending on the app that you're
using to listen I'd be gratefulif you would take two minutes
to leave me a review today.
All right, let's dive in, shallwe Rethinking imposter syndrome?
(01:39):
The term comes, the phraserather.
Maybe it's a term, maybe it's aphrase it comes from, and the
phrase I'm speaking aboutspecifically, of course, is
imposter syndrome.
It comes from psychologists wholabeled it back in 1978.
I think it's important to notethat if you do any research on
(02:03):
this, you'll find that it's alsoreferred to as imposter
phenomenon, fraud syndrome,imposterism or perceived
fraudulence.
And I went and pulled thedefinition of imposter, the word
imposter itself, and it is aperson who pretends to be
(02:25):
someone else in order to deceiveothers, especially for
fraudulent gain.
So what does that actually mean?
Well, I think, simply put,feeling like a fraud implies
intentional deception forpersonal gain, implies
intentional deception forpersonal gain.
That doesn't quite fit the billfor me, because, as a coach, as
(02:55):
a consultant or as anentrepreneur, if you're being
ethical in your work and whatyou're doing, even in your
approach, you're not out totrick anyone, then I'm going to
say it's likely you're not trulyexperiencing imposter syndrome.
What is really going on here isthat you're probably having some
increased anxiety, maybe somefear or that self-doubt that I
(03:18):
just mentioned.
It often comes down to a simple, maybe complex, but lack of
mastery in what it is thatyou're doing, or a lack of
significant experience, or evenjust a lack of experience in
general in what it is thatyou've set out to do.
You simply haven't put the repsin to feel that next level of
(03:41):
confidence.
Yet Maybe you're feeling a bitintimidated, but that's just
part of the normal stages ofgrowth in business, especially
in the online world.
So if you I'll just say it thisway, my two cents here if you
haven't committed fraud, you'renot intentionally trying to
(04:05):
mislead anyone, there's probablyno impostering going on and
again.
Instead, I think we need torecognize that what you're
facing is normal anxiety ofstepping into something that is
new or relatively new to you.
So then we might ask well,what's the fear to this
(04:28):
experience?
And it is practice, experienceand consistency.
As a coach, you've got to putyour reps in, you got to coach
your butt off.
The quickest way to shake offthat doubt, that self-doubt,
that fear that you're feeling,is to coach more.
You fill your calendar withfree sessions, paid sessions,
(04:49):
peer-to-peer practice sessions,whatever it is.
Coach more.
This is how you're going togain valuable experience, build
your confidence in your ownabilities.
The more you do it, the betteryou're going to feel about the
results that you're creating foryour clients.
I'd say also that you mightconsider investing in your
(05:12):
growth We've talked about thisbut get a coach.
If you're not willing to investin your own coaching, how can
you expect your potentialclients to invest in your
coaching?
Let yourself be challenged, thesame that you plan to challenge
your clients, or the same wayyou would challenge your clients
.
Stretch yourself.
If you say something like, well, I'd love to hire a coach right
(05:36):
now, but I can't afford it.
Well, what would you tell yourclient?
What are you challenging themto do?
That's just out of reach forthem.
If you're not willing to do it,how do you expect them to be
willing to do it?
And then also always belearning right.
Continue to educate yourselfabout coaching techniques or
(05:58):
your industry specifically.
Maybe you're into online funnelbuilding, and that's great.
Nothing wrong with that.
But spend time learning moreabout that particular thing that
you're into, that thing in yourindustry no-transcript and then
(06:30):
, when you show up to aconversation with that knowledge
about the person in front ofyou, you're able to instantly
build trust with them.
They're able to feel thatyou're invested in them.
It's game changing.
So I hope you know we've maybehad you start thinking about
(06:54):
imposter syndrome in a slightlydifferent light.
Ideally, we've redefined thatin terms that are relatable.
You know, if you're not beingunethical or you're not trying
to intentionally commit fraud or, you know, convince somebody of
something that's untrue, a lie,unethical, illegal then
(07:16):
imposter syndrome may be thewrong phraseology.
The other thing I wanted to talkabout today and I realize this
is a holiday week for most of uslistening or participating, and
I wanted to keep this episodefairly short because it will
come out on in the US ChristmasEve.
(07:38):
So the other thing I wanted totalk about is funny enough
what's on your calendar?
Are you schedulingconversations like it's your job
?
If you want to grow your onlinebusiness, if you want to grow
as a coach or consultant, thenyou have to talk to people.
(07:59):
You have to talk to clients.
You have to talk to potentialclients.
You have to talk to potentialpartners.
If it's not on your calendar, isit even real?
You have to make it intentional.
You need to block off specifictimes, to connect specific times
, to be in connection.
That's the actual calls, right?
(08:20):
You want to take off.
If you don't have callsscheduled, then when are you
working to schedule them?
You want to make sure thatyou're doing everything you can
in your business to get thesethings onto your calendar so
that it is real for you, it isreal for your business and it's
real for the people that you'retalking to.
And when you do hop on a call, Iwant to challenge you to simply
(08:44):
focus on the person in front ofyou.
I don't want you to worry aboutyour entire day or week of
calls.
I just want you to focus onbeing present with the person in
front of you, taking the timebefore that call to learn
everything you can about thatperson or at least learn as much
as you can in the time you haveabout that person and then show
(09:06):
up, be present, be genuinelycurious about and interested in
the person that you're on thatcall with.
That one conversation couldopen doors for partnership
opportunities.
It could open doors forreferrals or for future clients.
Maybe that person, three yearsfrom now, has a challenge that
(09:28):
they want to work with you on.
Or maybe that person will neverwork with you but send you
other people who are yourabsolute favorite clients.
You never know where that oneconversation could lead to.
So being intentional with them,being focused on them and
deeply curious about that personis going to be a tremendous
(09:52):
factor in what you're doing withthis time, in these
conversations and then keepinviting people, offer sample
sessions, offer workshops, makebold proposals Every opportunity
you have, invite peopleconsistently to experience your
coaching.
The more conversations that youschedule, the more your impact,
(10:15):
your confidence, all the thingsare going to grow, especially
your income.
If you want to increase yourincome, the number one way to do
it is to do the work in yourbusiness.
And if it's not on yourcalendar, the question is are
you really doing the work Right?
If, if I think Dave Ramsey saidit best I heard him say it
(10:38):
sometime years ago and I don'tremember if it was a podcast or
maybe I read it or it was one ofthe live events that I attended
with their crew.
But Dave Ramsey said you know,if you were paying you to do the
work that you're doing rightnow, would you fire you?
(10:59):
Simply means is are youtreating your business like it's
your job or are you treating itlike it's something that you
spend time in when you want to?
And hey, I'm not saying there'sanything wrong with creating a
life of freedom as you buildyour business.
But if you're putting in amonth worth of hours billable
(11:22):
hours let's talk about this inbillable hours If you're putting
in a month's worth of billablehours over a year and expecting
year results and not one monthresults, then you're probably
looking at this from the wrongperspective.
If you're expecting year growth,year results, year income, then
(11:43):
you have to put in a year'sworth of work.
What does that look like foryou?
What does that look like foryour business?
All right, I told you I wantedto keep this episode short, so
it's going to be super short.
Here's your homework Open yourcalendar right now.
I'll wait.
Now take time to schedule yournext conversation and then
(12:05):
schedule the next one.
Keep going With everyconversation.
Your confidence is going togrow Soon enough you're going to
realize that there's nothingimpostery about you or what
you're doing.
In the first place, you werejust building your skills,
getting your reps in.
I want to thank you so much forlistening to Deep Dive
(12:27):
Dialogues with me, dan Warheide,and I want to remind you that
if you're not intentionallydeceiving anyone, you're not an
imposter.
You're simply learning.
Schedule those calls and I hopethat I'll see you in the next
episode.
Hey, welcome back to Deep Dive Dialogues.
I'm your host, or even a lackof confidence, but I want to
challenge this in a way thatasks the question does it really
(00:32):
mean what we think it means?
And I'm going to venture to sayprobably not.
So I hope that with you today,we can redefine this.
And then I want to jump intowhy your calendar might be the
single most important tool inyour online business, whether
you're a coach, consultant or acreator of other sorts.
(00:53):
And before we do any of that,one of my coaches in the world
of podcasting it happens to beis Crystal Prophet.
I'll link to her work in theshow notes, but she has
challenged me.
She did a podcast review for merecently and she challenged me
in that review to be moreintentional about asking for
(01:16):
reviews.
So if you listen to my show andyou've not yet taken the time
to leave a review or a rating,depending on the app that you're
using to listen I'd be gratefulif you would take two minutes
to leave me a review today.
All right, let's dive in, shallwe Rethinking imposter syndrome?
(01:39):
The term comes, the phraserather.
Maybe it's a term, maybe it's aphrase it comes from, and the
phrase I'm speaking aboutspecifically, of course, is
imposter syndrome.
It comes from psychologists wholabeled it back in 1978.
I think it's important to notethat if you do any research on
(02:03):
this, you'll find that it's alsoreferred to as imposter
phenomenon, fraud syndrome,imposterism or perceived
fraudulence.
And I went and pulled thedefinition of imposter, the word
imposter itself, and it is aperson who pretends to be
(02:25):
someone else in order to deceiveothers, especially for
fraudulent gain.
So what does that actually mean?
Well, I think, simply put,feeling like a fraud implies
intentional deception forpersonal gain, implies
intentional deception forpersonal gain.
That doesn't quite fit the billfor me, because, as a coach, as
(02:55):
a consultant or as anentrepreneur, if you're being
ethical in your work and whatyou're doing, even in your
approach, you're not out totrick anyone, then I'm going to
say it's likely you're not trulyexperiencing imposter syndrome.
What is really going on here isthat you're probably having some
increased anxiety, maybe somefear or that self-doubt that I
(03:18):
just mentioned.
It often comes down to a simple, maybe complex, but lack of
mastery in what it is thatyou're doing, or a lack of
significant experience, or evenjust a lack of experience in
general in what it is thatyou've set out to do.
You simply haven't put the repsin to feel that next level of
(03:41):
confidence.
Yet Maybe you're feeling a bitintimidated, but that's just
part of the normal stages ofgrowth in business, especially
in the online world.
So if you I'll just say it thisway, my two cents here if you
haven't committed fraud, you'renot intentionally trying to
(04:05):
mislead anyone, there's probablyno impostering going on and
again.
Instead, I think we need torecognize that what you're
facing is normal anxiety ofstepping into something that is
new or relatively new to you.
So then we might ask well,what's the fear to this
(04:28):
experience?
And it is practice, experienceand consistency.
As a coach, you've got to putyour reps in, you got to coach
your butt off.
The quickest way to shake offthat doubt, that self-doubt,
that fear that you're feeling,is to coach more.
You fill your calendar withfree sessions, paid sessions,
(04:49):
peer-to-peer practice sessions,whatever it is.
Coach more.
This is how you're going togain valuable experience, build
your confidence in your ownabilities.
The more you do it, the betteryou're going to feel about the
results that you're creating foryour clients.
I'd say also that you mightconsider investing in your
(05:12):
growth We've talked about thisbut get a coach.
If you're not willing to investin your own coaching, how can
you expect your potentialclients to invest in your
coaching?
Let yourself be challenged, thesame that you plan to challenge
your clients, or the same wayyou would challenge your clients
.
Stretch yourself.
If you say something like, well, I'd love to hire a coach right
(05:36):
now, but I can't afford it.
Well, what would you tell yourclient?
What are you challenging themto do?
That's just out of reach forthem.
If you're not willing to do it,how do you expect them to be
willing to do it?
And then also always belearning right.
Continue to educate yourselfabout coaching techniques or
(05:58):
your industry specifically.
Maybe you're into online funnelbuilding, and that's great.
Nothing wrong with that.
But spend time learning moreabout that particular thing that
you're into, that thing in yourindustry no-transcript and then
(06:30):
, when you show up to aconversation with that knowledge
about the person in front ofyou, you're able to instantly
build trust with them.
They're able to feel thatyou're invested in them.
It's game changing.
So I hope you know we've maybehad you start thinking about
(06:54):
imposter syndrome in a slightlydifferent light.
Ideally, we've redefined thatin terms that are relatable.
You know, if you're not beingunethical or you're not trying
to intentionally commit fraud or, you know, convince somebody of
something that's untrue, a lie,unethical, illegal then
(07:16):
imposter syndrome may be thewrong phraseology.
The other thing I wanted to talkabout today and I realize this
is a holiday week for most of uslistening or participating, and
I wanted to keep this episodefairly short because it will
come out on in the US ChristmasEve.
(07:38):
So the other thing I wanted totalk about is funny enough
what's on your calendar?
Are you schedulingconversations like it's your job
?
If you want to grow your onlinebusiness, if you want to grow
as a coach or consultant, thenyou have to talk to people.
(07:59):
You have to talk to clients.
You have to talk to potentialclients.
You have to talk to potentialpartners.
If it's not on your calendar, isit even real?
You have to make it intentional.
You need to block off specifictimes, to connect specific times
, to be in connection.
That's the actual calls, right?
(08:20):
You want to take off.
If you don't have callsscheduled, then when are you
working to schedule them?
You want to make sure thatyou're doing everything you can
in your business to get thesethings onto your calendar so
that it is real for you, it isreal for your business and it's
real for the people that you'retalking to.
And when you do hop on a call, Iwant to challenge you to simply
(08:44):
focus on the person in front ofyou.
I don't want you to worry aboutyour entire day or week of
calls.
I just want you to focus onbeing present with the person in
front of you, taking the timebefore that call to learn
everything you can about thatperson or at least learn as much
as you can in the time you haveabout that person and then show
(09:06):
up, be present, be genuinelycurious about and interested in
the person that you're on thatcall with.
That one conversation couldopen doors for partnership
opportunities.
It could open doors forreferrals or for future clients.
Maybe that person, three yearsfrom now, has a challenge that
(09:28):
they want to work with you on.
Or maybe that person will neverwork with you but send you
other people who are yourabsolute favorite clients.
You never know where that oneconversation could lead to.
So being intentional with them,being focused on them and
deeply curious about that personis going to be a tremendous
(09:52):
factor in what you're doing withthis time, in these
conversations and then keepinviting people, offer sample
sessions, offer workshops, makebold proposals Every opportunity
you have, invite peopleconsistently to experience your
coaching.
The more conversations that youschedule, the more your impact,
(10:15):
your confidence, all the thingsare going to grow, especially
your income.
If you want to increase yourincome, the number one way to do
it is to do the work in yourbusiness.
And if it's not on yourcalendar, the question is are
you really doing the work Right?
If, if I think Dave Ramsey saidit best I heard him say it
(10:38):
sometime years ago and I don'tremember if it was a podcast or
maybe I read it or it was one ofthe live events that I attended
with their crew.
But Dave Ramsey said you know,if you were paying you to do the
work that you're doing rightnow, would you fire you?
(10:59):
Simply means is are youtreating your business like it's
your job or are you treating itlike it's something that you
spend time in when you want to?
And hey, I'm not saying there'sanything wrong with creating a
life of freedom as you buildyour business.
But if you're putting in amonth worth of hours billable
(11:22):
hours let's talk about this inbillable hours If you're putting
in a month's worth of billablehours over a year and expecting
year results and not one monthresults, then you're probably
looking at this from the wrongperspective.
If you're expecting year growth,year results, year income, then
(11:43):
you have to put in a year'sworth of work.
What does that look like foryou?
What does that look like foryour business?
All right, I told you I wantedto keep this episode short, so
it's going to be super short.
Here's your homework Open yourcalendar right now.
I'll wait.
Now take time to schedule yournext conversation and then
(12:05):
schedule the next one.
Keep going With everyconversation.
Your confidence is going togrow Soon enough you're going to
realize that there's nothingimpostery about you or what
you're doing.
In the first place, you werejust building your skills,
getting your reps in.
I want to thank you so much forlistening to Deep Dive
(12:27):
Dialogues with me, dan Warheide,and I want to remind you that
if you're not intentionallydeceiving anyone, you're not an
imposter.
You're simply learning.
Schedule those calls and I hopethat I'll see you in the next
episode.
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