101. The Change Triangle: Core Emotions, Healing & Coming Home to Yourself with Hilary Jacobs Hendel

In this deeply insightful conversation, I sit down with Hilary Jacobs Hendel, AEDP psychotherapist, author, and creator of the Change Triangle, to explore how emotions are not problems to fix—but pathways to healing and connection.

We dive into why so many of us are stuck in anxiety, depression, and disconnection, and how avoiding our core emotions (like sadness, anger, and joy) leads to emotional blocks. Hilary shares the transformative power of the Change Triangle, a simple yet profound tool that helps people identify what they’re feeling, move through protective patterns, and reconnect with their authentic selves.

This episode is a must-listen if you’ve ever struggled with emotional overwhelm, numbness, or the pressure to “get over it.” Hilary reminds us that healing doesn’t come from pushing through—but from listening in.

Connect with Hilary:

www.instagram.com/hilaryjacobshendel

https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com

It’s Not Always Depression book: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self: https://www.randomhousebooks.com/books/537514/

Parents Have Feelings, Too: A Guide to navigating Your Emotions So you and your Family Can Thrive: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/788442/parents-have-feelings-too-by-hilary-jacobs-hendel/

Emotions Education 101 Class (for everyone): https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/8-week-emotion-education-101

Emotions Education 101 Turnkey Curriculum (for professionals): https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/change-triangle-curriculum

Top Episode Quotes:

“Core emotions are physical. When we block them, we block our life force.”

“Most of us are walking around disconnected from our authentic self—not because we’re broken, but because we’ve learned to survive that way.”

“The Change Triangle is not about fixing emotions—it’s about feeling them and finding what they’re here to tell us.”

“Anxiety is often a sign that we’re avoiding a core emotion beneath the surface.”

“There’s no such thing as a ‘bad’ emotion. Every feeling is a messenger guiding us back to wholeness.”

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