103. Why You Numb Out: Avoidant Attachment, Conflict & the Fear of Being Seen

In this episode, I’m exploring a topic that hits so close to home for so many of us—avoidant attachment and the ways we subtly (and not-so-subtly) numb out when intimacy, connection, or conflict feel overwhelming.

If you find yourself scrolling instead of walking in the door, staying late at work to avoid closeness, or completely shutting down during an argument—you’re not broken. You’re protecting something tender. I unpack how avoidance is often a nervous system strategy rooted in early pain, how we carry unmet childhood needs into our most intimate relationships, and why numbing out is a form of survival, not failure.

We’ll also dive into gentle, practical ways to begin shifting these patterns, including rituals, somatic practices, and communication tools—and I’ll guide you through a powerful reflection practice to help you identify the need hiding underneath the urge to shut down.

This episode is here to remind you: You want connection. Your body just needs safety first.

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Top Episode Quotes:

“Avoidance is not a personality trait—it’s a strategy your body learned to keep you safe.”

“We don’t numb out because we don’t care. We numb out because feeling would bring us too close to the pain we’ve been avoiding.”

“Your nervous system isn’t wrong for freezing. It’s doing what it was taught to do when love didn’t feel safe.”

“If you’ve ever stayed late at work, scrolled outside the house, or ghosted your own needs—that’s a clue. There’s something tender underneath.”

“You don’t have to bulldoze through fear to heal. You can walk slowly toward it, one safe step at a time.”

#AvoidantAttachment #AttachmentHealing #NervousSystemRegulation #SomaticHealing #EmotionalNumbing #ConflictAvoidance #HealingChildhoodWounds #RelationalTrauma #SomaticPractices #DeepWithinPodcast #HeartSpaceCommunity