109. The Origins of Fixing in Relationships and Why We Do It

"I thought being the fixer made me lovable—but it was just making me invisible."

In this powerful episode, Marina explores the unseen weight of becoming the emotional adult too early in life, and how those childhood patterns quietly shape our adult relationships. From people-pleasing to overgiving, she unpacks why so many of us feel unseen and unsupported, and what it truly takes to release the fixer role. 

Together we explore how childhood conditioning creates these patterns, the nervous system’s role in keeping you stuck, and the gentle somatic tools that can help you unwind them. Most importantly, you’ll be reminded that you are worthy of support, love, and being fully seen. If you’ve ever felt like you’re carrying it all, this episode offers a path back to wholeness.

JOIN THE FREE MASTERCLASS: https://marinayt.com/masterclass-stop-being-a-fixer

Journaling Questions:

❓In your childhood, what were you praised for — and what was ignored?

❓How does fixing create safety for you - and how does this completely make sense through your childhood?

❓What needs do you meet by fixing, and what emotions that you struggle to sit with come up if you don't fix (it can help to think about a particular scenario and tune into your body for this)?

❥Join HeartSpace monthly community with a free trial: 

⁠⁠https://marinayt.com/community⁠⁠

❥❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewform

❥❥❥Stay or Go Course: ⁠https://marinayt.com/stay-or-go⁠ 

❥❥❥❥ FREE RESOURCE: a step-by-step process of working with your triggers

TRIGGERED TO ROOTED: A ROADMAP TO CREATE TREASURES FROM YOUR TRIGGERS

This powerful step by step process will walk you through how to somatically move through a trigger, ground yourself, allow the emotions to come up and experience massive growth in your life

Download here:⁠ ⁠https://marinayt.com/trigger-2-rooted⁠⁠

Follow me on Instagram:⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/marina.y.t⁠⁠ 

Subscribe to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@marinatriner 

Top Episode Quotes:

"I thought being the fixer made me lovable—but it was just making me invisible."

"Becoming the emotional adult too early teaches you to overgive, but it robs you of feeling supported."

"Your nervous system isn’t broken—it’s just doing what it learned to survive."

"Healing means releasing the fixer role so you can finally be fully seen, supported, and loved."

"You don’t have to carry it all. Wholeness begins when you allow yourself to be held."

fixer role, people pleasing, childhood trauma healing, somatic healing, nervous system regulation, emotional neglect, inner child healing, trauma recovery podcast, relationship healing, overgiving burnout, stop being a fixer, self compassion, embodied healing