64 - WELDead 🧟‍♂️ ( feat. 410 Noodlez ) - Definitely Not Good

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Hello again you dingus. This is definitely not spooky. The podcast where we

(00:07):
create stories and they're definitely probably not spooky. I'm your host CJ
joined by my producer and living skeleton, Nuckedy.
Today we have a returning guest, a very special guest here.

(00:28):
Hello again 410 noodles. Hola, how are you? Are you spooky? I don't know what this is
but it's definitely not spooky. Hey if it's your first time listening this is

(01:04):
pretty much how everything works. We are amazing storytellers and it's our job,
our sacred duty to come up with a story completely from scratch with a little
twist. We have a series of wheels we're gonna spin each of them random and
depending on where they end up we have to somehow incorporate it into our story.
However, it is very spooky today. So for this time, we are

(01:30):
foregoing the genre wheel because we know we're doing a spooky and the
antagonist is going to be a monster. Scary. Yeah. We are very, I don't want to
say blessed because that's not in the spirit. We're cursed. We're very cursed
and pleased to have a returning guest 410 noodles. How you doing? I'm good. I

(01:51):
appreciate y'all having me on this definitely not spooky day. Oh yeah. It's definitely not a spooky
podcast. I mean it might be a little spooky now that you're here. Maybe it's a smidge.
Yeah I bring a little bit of a spooky vibe. You're a real spooky guy over there
eating candy. Oh yeah. Nuckety do you have any any spooky warm-ups? I do have a
spooky warm-up. Okay well I'll pass the baton over to you. Hey. What's going on?

(02:14):
Hey how's it going? I'm doing good. Yeah. Master Splinter how are you? Yeah I'm
okay man I'm hanging in there I'm eating these nerds. Is that grape flavor? It's
grape. I don't know. I can't really tell the difference. You give me every flavor of nerd I
couldn't tell you the difference but uh. It's nothing but a ball of sugar. Nerd
flavor. Yeah nerd flavored nerds you know. Yeah. Hey noodles can you do me a favor?

(02:37):
What's good? To the to the best of your ability could you could you dramatically
act out your death? Damn that's deep okay. Pretty deep. It's like you just want me to make some like I don't
how did I die? What's going on? Let's say a slasher snuck up behind you and
stabbed you in the kidney. Oh. Shink. Damn it. Stab. You bitch. See you in hell

(03:00):
motherfucker. At least you got bitch in there man give it up for 410 noodles everybody.
He got the Oscar. I'm just saying like I don't know yeah I'm just funny you said it. He's a bitch.
Little fun fact I've been stabbed three times bro. Yo what? Yeah I've been stabbed
three times before once in my arm right fucking here. Yeah. When I was in the

(03:20):
army and um once on both sides once out here and then another time back home.
How would you describe the feeling? Our adrenaline was rushing so I didn't really
necessarily feel it at the moment I was squabbling. You know what I mean? Okay. I was in the
middle of a squabble so yeah your boy ain't even feel it so afterwards
somebody let you know literally each time yo you bleeding. Yikes. Ah fuck. Yeah. Holy shit.

(03:44):
One terrifying thing because you know it's spooky season why not. I hear
that if someone is fighting you with a knife you pretty much want to run away
because in a knife fight you're going to get stabbed. Is that true? I mean
personally I have never got into a knife fight all the times I've been stabbed I
was fighting with somebody and they pulled a knife out unknowingly to me.

(04:06):
Cheating. You know I mean hey look it's a fight. You can't fight bitch. And I wouldn't say you know it is what it is
everybody trying to survive. Right. You know what I mean? I ain't mad if somebody doing something to me if you know I'm
actively doing something to them. So yeah. I'm glad you survived. Surviving three
knife attacks not bad. Not bad. Appreciate that though. Yeah. You're a good guy. Hey look my best

(04:30):
friend Marquis got stabbed like nine times at one time. Jesus Christ. Yeah bro. I'm gonna be
real with you. I was the one that drove like a hundred and fucking ten miles an
hour on the highway to get him to the hospital that night. Damn. I could have sworn
you're gonna say you're the one who stabbed him. It was me. It would be really
spooky wouldn't it? Really spooky. The first seven. Nah but eight and nine that was me. I said why not. You already had you know it.

(04:56):
You said his name was Marcus? Marquis. Shout out my best friend Marquis. Shout out. He is currently at the
leaderboard top of surviving knife attacks. Do not try to beat that. You will
die. Yeah you probably will die. Dudes and mad men that's not the first time he's been
stabbed several times at one time and survived. The first time. The first time
he was on his way home from work and these two guys ran out and tried to rob

(05:20):
him and they immediately start stabbing him. He pulled his knife out, started
stabbing them back and he did so much damage to them they laid out in the
street and he called the cops and let him know what he just did so they can
come get him and them and take him to the hospital and sat there waiting for
the cops like damn. And then the second time was this situation I ain't really
gonna speak on but yeah that happened and I had to take him to the hospital type

(05:43):
shit and he survived. Look me and anybody that knew that motherfucker always looked
at him as a tank like. That's assault. Dudes a fucking tank. I mean yeah if you're surviving that.
Man got like he probably got alone like 20 stab wounds. Him. Yeah. Well shout
out to him. Speaking of stabbing we do have a sponsor today not a real one. It's a spooky sponsor.

(06:06):
Spooky. So let's spin that sponsor wheel see who we're sponsored by today.
Welcome back 410 noodles. Today's episode is brought to you by Candy. Fucking Candy.
Proudly sponsored by Candy. For 410 noodles how do you feel about Candy?

(06:28):
It keeps my kid quiet. That's how I feel about Candy. It's good stuff. It's you know it can be scary though.
Let it get stuck in your teeth. True. Right. And then you know. If you have a cara caramel caramel. Listen motherfucker. Caramel.

(06:48):
You had it there. Caramel. Okay caramel. Caramel caramel. Caramel. I don't say
caramel I say caramel. I say caramel. Well that shit will get stuck in your teeth the other way.
Whatever you call it. You're in a dentist gotta take drills to your teeth and then you gotta walk around with
holes in your mouth and know nobody like doing that right. You holy mouth having
motherfuckers. That's the scariest thing. The smallest of mighty and you ain't got no teeth.

(07:11):
That's one of the scariest things. Absolutely. We're not sponsored by any brands. Not specifically.
Asterix. But uh 410 noodles what is your favorite candy that you're willing to splurge on?
That would be candy corn right? No it's not. No no no it's funny. A younger me probably. I used to be
like really heavy on the candy corn when I was a kid. But nowadays I don't know what it is.

(07:34):
What are they called? Um have you seen the new candies like they like nerd clusters. Yeah the gummy ones.
Yes bro the pink and the blue bag you don't talk about. Bro I don't know what it is they got a
strong hold on me right now. It's nerds rope but cut up. I know that's all it is. That's all it is.
Bro they just made it easier to eat a nerds rope. Yeah. They fucked up my life. Yo I swear.

(07:57):
Yeah I don't know how many bags I've had of that but I know for a fact that I've repeatedly several
times last month eaten so many in one sitting that my stomach started hurting. Like several times and
I'd be like bro why am I eating this many of these. Like I need to get these out of here. I get that
because what the fuck is that gummy part. Man it's crack. That's not regular gummy candy what is that.

(08:20):
That's fucking crack bro. It's so good. Was it worth the stomach ache. Every time. Every time. It's worth messing
my appetite up every time. Nuckity what's your favorite candy. Oh man uh I like Twix. Twix? It's all
in the mix. Yeah it's all in the mix. Wow you like the right Twix or the left Twix. Oh I'm a right Twix guy.

(08:41):
Man motherfucker. All right I'll let that slide I guess. Um I'm a real peanuts M&M guy right now.
Okay okay. Classic. First it was the peanut butter ones and then I like got pre-diabetes you know
and then I was like maybe I should be more healthy. I switched over to the peanut M&Ms you know it's
not as processed. I'm still going. It feels more natural right. It feels more natural I'm still going to die

(09:06):
probably. I always felt like the peanut ones were the most healthy M&Ms. Sure I mean that's what I tell myself too.
Got a peanut in there. There's a peanut in there. Protein. I'm not gonna be. It's protein. Thank you candy. Thank you candy.
God damn my favorite part of Halloween that's for sure. Yeah and uh speaking of candy
look what I got. I got a I got a little treat for everybody here. Oh um don't show it and don't give

(09:28):
me none. I'm gonna give you some. It looks like Nuckedy has a pack of a big pack of big old bag of
candy corn. Candy corn. I think I'm going to pass. No no you gotta have a candy corn tastes like wax.
You gotta have one of those. Last year around this time. I will try candy corn David. I'll
thank you candy. I have not had candy corn in years. Give you guys a handful of this.

(09:53):
A handful. I was thinking like one or zero. Thank you. Oh damn. There we go. All right fresh one.
I'm gonna try this out. He got he it looked like he got the expensive brand. Yeah he got the nice brand.
This one's not as waxy. You know this one. They're not waxy. They feel this one feels like it has a
polish on it like they had like a second layer of like let's make it not shit. Okay I'm gonna. I like

(10:15):
them. Let's go ahead and taste test this real quick. Should I get a video? No we don't have to get a
video. You sure? Yeah I got like three views. I don't care. I can say that you. None of this gets any views.
You probably gave this gave me way too many of these. Yeah that's how I'm feeling. Okay.
You could just throw them away. How are you liking this candy corn? I mean they're good. They're good.

(10:37):
Candy corn's good. They're really fucking sweet. Okay I'm gonna try it. Candy corn's fucking good. I don't know why people act like
candy corn's like nasty. No I've always been a fan of candy corn. It's just you know you grow out of stuff.
Okay it's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's good candy. It's actually kind of fire. People be fucking tripping man.
I'm telling you. People do make it seem like candy corn's like the butt of Halloween. They straight up

(10:58):
you're saying it's the worst candy ever. You're fucking wrong bro. This isn't that nasty. You ever try black liquorice?
That's horrible. That's gonna be considered candy. Objectively bad. Objectively. It smells it tastes like a tire man.
I'm just uh bro I've never seen somebody look if you go to any Dollar Tree guess what's always on the shelf.
It was still left in the candy aisle. Yuck. Black Liquorice still hanging up there. Yeah. I like me some candy corn. I don't give a fuck.

(11:22):
Okay this was pretty I think I've had maybe a lot of low quality Dollar Store candy corn. Listen you ain't gonna shit on the Dollar Tree candy.
Oh shit well that's why. Dollar Tree carries Boston baked beans all right. I like me some.
You ain't gonna do me like that. All right all right. Respect to the Dollar Store. I like Boston baked beans man.
They like the only store that still got them. Okay. That's the Rest In Peace Dollar Store. That's Dollar Tree.

(11:45):
It's Dollar Tree. Facts. It's man you know it's five and below now. Fuck is you talking about. For real. Let's be real. Dollar Tree's a dollar 25 now.
So I don't even know what to call them. They got items in the Dollar Tree for fucking five dollars plus now bro.
The fuck do I come here for man. To save money. That's scary. Well hey stick around we're gonna ask 410 Noodles some some questions.

(12:10):
But for now we're gonna get to this spooky story. Spooky. Spooky spooky. Oh yeah. So uh let's spin that first wheel.
That would be. It's not the genre wheel. It is the character. No I'm wrong. The first wheel is the setting. I love holding you to the.
It's been like almost a hundred episodes. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. First wheel is the setting wheel.

(12:32):
Let's get it.
Kansas. Okay. I don't think we're in Kansas anymore but. You guys ever been to Kansas? I dated a girl named Kansas. How was it?
A person named her daughter Kansas? She was um. She was pretty cool honestly. She was like just as much of a nerd as I was.

(12:54):
So she was great. Okay. Yeah she was like super into anime and all that shit when I was young. So we would watch anime together and shit.
Nerd sex is hot sex. We never had sex. Wow. You can have like one person be Naruto and another person be Sasuke. Like role play type deal.
I don't know. I love you guys. I'm just improvising guys. Are you in the middle of Kansas? In the middle of Kansas.

(13:16):
In the middle of little little. I'll be honest I don't know too much about Kansas. I know of course Wizard of Oz.
It's dry and hot. That's pretty much all I know. That's all I know too. Kansas. Let's move on. Our next wheel is our character job. What's your job?
Let's spin it.
They're a welder. Welder? They weld in Kansas. They make good money. That tracks. They make at least $35 or nothing.

(13:40):
Not going to lie I actually am interested in welding at some point. I thought I'd get into it. It's pretty cool.
It seems like a cool thing to be able to know how to do. I used to be a fire watch for welders up in Seattle. Whoa really?
Yeah it paid really well. I was paying like $28 something. It was paying really well. Long story short, the only thing I had to do was just make sure no fires fucking started.

(14:01):
While this room full of welders were working on a boat. Is it cool if we incorporate that a little bit? Like fire watch for welders? Sure.
I kind of like that idea. I didn't know that was a thing. Yeah it's called fire watch and they pay you a shit ton of money to just sit and watch welders weld all day.
Wow. To make sure. Because it's not a welder's job to pay attention to if you set something on fire. It's your job.

(14:25):
I'm just putting these shits together. If a welder sets something on fire they say shit shit shit shit.
The thing is you gotta remember they have that mask on. They really can't see that they set something on fire. Oh wow.
You know until somebody says hey you set this on fire. They got the mask on and it's black. They don't think they can see what they're doing.

(14:46):
And the sparks are flying. If it hits something and something catches they don't know until they smell smoke or something.
Which is why they got fire watchers because usually they got a bunch of welders in one room working on it.
See I'm picturing the fire watchers like in a tower watching them like with a monocular. But that's not really what it is.
They're sitting in a chair asleep in the room. Oh no not asleep.

(15:09):
I'm not nodding off. I'm sitting there like you know just chilling. Making sure there ain't nothing on fire.
You might be the wildest person. Look at every double minute.
You ever play fire watch? Play fire watch? There's a game. I haven't no.
I feel like I'm the only person that has it in the room. It's so cute. It's cute. It's so cute. It's a good game.
It's a good game. It's like a short film. It's real cute. Highly recommended. Especially for you listener.

(15:35):
Try out fire watch. Not a sponsor. Not a sponsor. It's a good game.
Dragon Ball sparking. Oh my god. Don't get me started. I'm sorry. I know it's not. I bought the standard edition and I have to wait.
You have to wait for the standard? No I bought the standard edition and I have to wait because I didn't get the deluxe version.
So I have to wait three fucking days while everyone else plays it.

(15:56):
Well if it makes you feel any better I won't be playing it either. Even after you get yours.
Our next wheel is our character Flaw. Something's wrong with this welder. What is it? What's wrong?
They don't recognize social cues. Oh that fucking sucks.
Doesn't recognize social cues. I feel like that might resonate with a welder profession a little bit.

(16:24):
Yeah they got that mask on. I feel like we, you know, shit. I know I can relate to that.
Yeah I mean I can relate to it sometimes too. Our second to last wheel? Yep. Yeah. It's the monster.
The monster. It's the monster mash. Tequila. What do we got? Ah. Spooky spinning.
Oh spinning. This one spins a lot. Hey my next dent is bill is on you.

(16:49):
What? You don't like candy? I don't like candy. I like candy too. Zombies. I fucking love zombies man.
Oh what? What? Listen okay I am a zombie alright. Okay. Zombie. Flat butted zombies. Zombies everything.
Zombie zombie zombie zombie zombie. What's your favorite like rendition of zombies?

(17:10):
Uh. 28 days? It's funny it's literally a I can't pick bro between the you know 28 days and weeks you know and I think Mumps is coming out soon right?
Yeah I heard that. Oh. Yeah. But between that series and the Resident Evil series bro. They're early Resident Evil by the way.

(17:32):
Not all the crazy shit they're doing. When they're all fucked up looking? When they're doing like backflip and shit.
Yeah when things started getting a little bit too Hollywood of course you know Resident Evil took a turn.
But I'm talking OG Resident Evil, Resident Evil 4 the game all that type shit. Like man it's I can't pick. I can't bro I love zombies.
Zombie. To the point to where I'm pretty sure it has trickled down to my kid. Cause she want to watch zombie movies now and shit all the time.

(18:00):
You ever play Dead Island? Yes of course. Fuck. I've played damn near every zombie game there is bro.
Shit that's a good game. That is a good game. Me and my little brother used to play that shit all the time. That was like a big game for both of us.
That game changed how those games work. The mechanics in that game like are implemented in every zombie game now.
Yeah the customizing the weapons. Like everything. You right. You right. The thing is this though. What came first? Is it Dead Rising? Dead Rising or Dead Island?

(18:31):
I don't know. I think they might have came around at the same time. Cause if you think of Dead Island the graphics are significantly way better than Dead Rising.
So it's like I think Dead Rising came first. I wanted to go to that resort so bad. The resort that you're stuck in. Like this is amazing. I'm going to be here.
410 noodles would you do the honor of playing the welder for us today? I can be the welder. Yeah I'll be the welder. Sure.

(18:54):
What's a good name for a welder Nuckety? Walter. Walter? Walter White. Walter White the welder. Pretty much. We'll call him Walter Green. Walter Green.
Alright so first scene. Walter is in his truck. This is not a nice truck. This is a beat up. Toyota Tacoma. Exactly. Purple.
He's on the road. It is like 5am ungodly hour listening to the radio. Nuckety can you tell us what's on the radio? Go ahead and act it out. It's a little bit of 90's pop music.

(19:29):
Power 109. Yeah. Power 109. They're playing Britney Spears and like Backstreet Boys. Yeah. And all that you know. What's a DJ sound like?
And here comes another throwback hit from the early to late 90's. The pop single by Cherry...Bucks. A lot of static in this. Cherry...Cherry...Bucks.

(19:56):
Kiss Kiss Me On My Hand. Kiss Kiss Me On My Hand. Something something lyrics. Yeah yeah. You know the same guy who wrote all these songs. What's up?
So as Walter is kind of listening to this and turning down the volume actually because it's pretty bad. He's on this Kansas road early in the morning smoking a cigarette.

(20:18):
He looks up and he sees a man dazily walking in the middle of the road just narrowly hitting him. How does he react to that? Oh shit. What the?
God that. Did you see that muscle? And there's nobody in the car with me. Yeah. Yeah. But you look back in the mirror and he's still... Can I have a dog? Can I have a dog? Yeah.

(20:39):
I want a dog named Tyson. You have a dog named Tyson. Is it a Rottweiler? It could be a Rottweiler. It could be a Rottweiler. Okay. Rottweiler. We're going to be a Pitbull. Pitbull. Pitbull. Pitbull. Pitbull.
I've had two Pitbulls in my life. Okay there we go. There we go. Tyson you see that motherfucker back there?
Hell yeah. God damn it. Why he in the middle of the street like that? Tyson looks back and you look back as well. The person is completely unfazed but still just slowly walks in the middle of the road.

(21:09):
Towards my car or the opposite direction? Towards your car. They're holding McDonald's fries. And I got a question. This Walter character I am. Is he the gullible type in the movie that's going to get out and ask the guy if he need help or should I play this like I would play it in real life?
Play it how you would in real life. Alright. Yeah. Shit Tyson I don't know what's going on with that brother but we finna get the fuck up out of here. I'm not dying today. Yeah man look I'm going to call the cops and let them know there's some stranger walking out in the street probably howling some meth and drugs. I don't know.

(21:40):
But we out of here dog. He speeds away. And we just see the legs and the lower half of this person and they're just very slowly stuttering along the road. Shuffling. Oh don't tell me he keeping that. Little bit. Oh no that's terrifying. Alright so we're going to cut to. He has a headband on.
We're going to cut to metal works. No let's come up with a better name. Fuck it. Metal don't works. No no. You guys make toys. You guys make like those little horses that people would would ride on you know. So how about not Welder Bear. Tykes. Oh Welder Bear. Oh well Tykes Welder Bear. Tykes Welder Bear. Yeah. So Welder Bear Tykes Incorporated.

(22:24):
So you come out of the car and you got Tyson with you. And you see you see Tiffany. She's at the front. You know she's got like the hard hat on the goggles and she says hey what's going on Walt. What's going on Tiff. Man I seen something crazy today. Yeah. Oh she's ignoring you. Oh good boy. Good boy.

(22:46):
Hey Tiff I know you hear me. Let me calm down. Whoa. What's got you all ruffled. There's some stranger not probably about not even two miles down the road that's walking towards the building. He's walking this way and I don't know if I'm seeing things Tyson you let me know boy but I swear he was keeping up with me when I was going about 45 to 60 miles on the god damn road.

(23:12):
It's probably just some hitchhiker you know they come to kind of struggle around. Hitchhikers can't run faster than Usain Bolt. Tiff. OK Rude. I am working on that but I think the manager wanted to see you actually. Maybe Tyson can just stay with me. Tyson is licking his nuts.
Oh my. Yeah. Good boy. Good boy. No but seriously what's the CEO's name again. CEO is Ronald. Rest in peace Ron. Ronald Wisely. Mr. Wisely wanted to see you upstairs. All right. Look you be careful with my dog. He be looking at me funny when I come back. He loves me. When I come back to get my dog from you Tiff he be looking at me like you did something to him. So I'll be back.

(23:56):
You be careful with my god damn dog. You know I'm responsible. I got this. He's just a puppy. Step step step step. So yeah we cut to him going up these steps into the manager's office. He's not the manager. He likes to say step every time he steps. Manager CEO. I don't know he's the CEO son.
And then we're getting kind of a lay of the land. We have like maybe three or four workers working on these like makeshift toys that are made of metal and like other accessories. Cut to inside of the office. The manager is of course playing Clash of Clans not a sponsor on his phone and he quickly hides it under underneath his desk.

(24:34):
Hey hey hey. Hey. I was just getting some work done. What's going on Ryan. Right. I called you in here right. Yeah you did. That's what Tiff told me. Right. Have you seen Ricky's helmet. Yeah I stole it last week. You stole Ricky's helmet. Where is it. Did you take it home. Listen Ryan you know I don't like that bastard.

(24:57):
I. And you know we've been going back and forth for a long time and he stole my helmet three times last month. I'm keeping his helmet this time. Well you got to give him yours then because I'm not. No no no no. I've been working here for 10 years. He'd been here for three. We're not doing this. Oh shit. Has it been 10 years. Yeah it's been 10 you bastard and y'all still ain't give me a raise and you got me here about a helmet. Look man. I ain't get a raise. I didn't get a raise. I've been sitting here. Cut to outside the warehouse and you see that straggler still

(25:27):
walking very from the windows. Yeah yeah he's he's coming. Ron. That's that's the fuck I told Tiff about right there. Look out the window. You see him with the headband on. Yeah. What's that guy doing. Tiffany's like I'm sorry sir we're closed. You can't really like you know we've got something going on here today. And he gets like real real close. Can you describe kind of what he does. The zombie like. Yeah. All right. So Tiffany goes to the door. She opens it kindly because the

(25:57):
man walks up to the door with his headband on. We're not going to forget the headband. And okay. It's sweaty. What kind of headband is it. It's an Iverson. What color. White. All right. So it's white but it's like very dingy and dirty because. Oh yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. And as he gets closer closer it's pouring rain outside. Right. So she can't really tell it's pouring rain outside. Can't really you know tells him. He gets to the door. He's just kind of bumping his head against the door. Oh and she's confused but she comes to the door and like you said let's

(26:27):
know hey you know we're not we don't have an open restroom or anything like that if that's what you're looking for you need to go. And the man looks up and she notices that half of his fucking jaw is completely skinless.
Completely skinless like a chicken and she immediately screeches and she shrieks.

(26:52):
And we hear from upstairs and Tyson starts barking his head off. Oh my god. Oh my god. And next thing you know this this Iverson headband brandish zombie. He pushes through the door. He has brains. Grabs Tiffany and is about to take his first bite. Oh snap. So the zombie goes in and right before we can like see any damage is done.

(27:22):
Tyson just knocks over the zombie and bites him and just like he kind of stutters and Tiffany gets to her feet. What the fuck is happening. What what happened. Tyson come here come here. Tyson. Tyson runs up into the inside and they immediately close the door.
At this point everyone's noticed you guys are downstairs like he came downstairs. All the other workers have stopped and one of the guys who names Henry says Tiffany what what's going on. What's going on Tiffany. He is in Kansas right. Yeah. Hey what the hell going on. What the hell is going on Tiffany.

(27:59):
Contrast. There's this fucking crazy guy who just tried to bite me. I don't know if he bit me or not. There's like a weird. He's still there. He's still out there. He's just banging his head against the wall. He's just banging the glass door.
As you notice in the distance there's just some shadows that start to creep up as well like in the because the the welled in warehouse is like on a you know let's say a roll just out in the county type situation you know warehouses is it's by itself type shit and across the street from it is secluded.

(28:33):
It's it's it's occluded this included area and across the street you just start noticing it looks to seem like a crowd coming from the trees in the wood as if you know. Oh snap. And then as we get a better look at the have a dawn of the day situation that shadow becomes more and more visible that there's a group like a large group of people.

(28:55):
Zombies. So now instead of one head banging against the door now you have right next to him a girl not even four feet tall banging her head against the door as well and half of her head is half of her head is missing isn't like she only has long blonde hair on one side of her head and the other half is just gone.

(29:16):
The fuck is happening. What's going on man. There's a rat eating the other side. I think they need help. I'm not going fucking back out there. No way. No way. What's going on. What is going on. I have no idea. Walter. Walter's like Walter's looking at everybody is like yes. Yes. What's wrong is there. He doesn't recognize social cues. He doesn't get that everybody scared. He's like what. Oh that's right. Walter like how's Walter reacting to all this. Oh yeah.

(29:46):
I forgot I don't get it. All right. So what's going on. I thought he was a jogger or something. Is there a problem. Do you not see all these people outside. I thought it might be a marathon. You know breast cancer awareness marathon or something. It's October. Right. I mean right. Is this weird. OK. Maybe they got dressed up for the occasion. I didn't know that didn't. Hey Tiffany. You know he was just trying to give you a hug. I don't know. I don't know. Fucking look at this. Look at this. He bit me. I thought you said he didn't bite you.

(30:16):
I thought he did until I saw this. I want to add a little twist. Yeah. Tyson Tyson bit the zombie and knocked him over. Right. Yeah. Tyson starts to act funny. Oh no. What's he doing. What's Tyson doing. As you sit and you yell and about I fucking bit me. What do you think is going on. Tyson's like pacing in a circle and whimpering. Oh different than usual. Next story. Bye. You know we all flustered. The whole.

(30:46):
All the employees Ron Henry Terry bikes flustered in the lobby. What the fuck is going on. Yeah. Walter how do you not understand what's happening. Why didn't you let us know was somebody look like that. I didn't. I thought he was just jogging. And next thing you know Tyson falls to the ground.
And Tiffany is the first person to notice. Tyson what's going on. Oh my God. His breathing is really shallow. Let's go. Did he hurt him or something. I think he's still alive but I don't know.

(31:15):
Oh it's going to be a situation. How are we going to deal with a damn zombie dog. Oh no. I didn't think this was Walter. How's Walter reacting to this. What did you do to my damn dog. I didn't do anything. He tried to protect me. I told you don't do anything to my dog when I went to go talk to Ron.
I was very clear. Walter picks up the dog and brings it to kind of the back room. And one of the other guys like Walter where are you going. We got a situation out here man. Where are you going with your dog.

(31:41):
Where are you going with your dog. And let's say that I put the dog for story papers. I put the dog in the bathroom and I locked it in the bathroom. I said nobody go touch my fucking dog until I could take it to the hospital and figure out what's going on. I got to use the bathroom real bad.
And the next thing you know. Well because you know the dog shallowly laid down on a little blanket in there is not moving. I don't know. I get back out there. I'm yelling at Tiffy. What did you do to my daughter. We hear from the bathroom. What the fuck was that.

(32:13):
He starts wiling out in the bathroom. He's just spazzing and the door is made of wood for the bathroom. Yeah. So you start seeing little pieces of him gnawing at the damn door and I'm sitting yelling. Walter's yelling. Tyson Tyson calm down buddy. What's going on. And everybody's hey man control your dog. What the fuck is going on.

(32:36):
Spazzing out crazy and Tyson is just going at the door and you can see once he's been on enough to see his face his eyes are bright red. Tyson. So Tyson is just gnawing through this door and is getting scarier and scarier the closer the more we see him the more we see this rabid very strong powerful hungry for flesh.

(33:02):
Pitbull. Pitbull. Muscley than shit. Yeah. And he's gnawing through this thing and he's just about like he's just about through and then he leaps from the door completely destroying it and he stops in his tracks and he looks at Tiffany and before he can lend for her.
Shot in the head. Holy shit who bought a gun to work. Ron. Ron. Was it Ron. No I want him. I want to know who brought the gun to work. It was me Steve. Everybody looks at Steve. Steve. Steve's back. So Steve. Why you got a gun in here man. Steve is is an old cowboy who you know he had a very dark past and he's welding is the only thing that one questionable guy.

(33:49):
Yeah. Yeah. Nobody talks to Steve. Yeah. The back doing his job. He's smoking and he kind of just walks through the smoke. He smokes inside and nobody says anything to Steve. Sorry to bring your dog down there. You shot my dog man. You shot my dog. What we have here is a situation everybody. These are called zombies.
I've seen this before. Zombies. My dog wasn't no damn zombie man. He wasn't no zombie. You're a murderer. You're a killer. Here's the thing. Here's the thing here. They're they're buddy. If you get bit by a zombie you turn into all them out there. You see that. There's more outside. You see how they're how they're reacting trying to get in here. Like I said Donner a dead situation. The whole place is just surrounded by zombies. And the building has a bunch of you know windows bulletproof windows. So here's what I'm going to recommend.

(34:39):
Mr. I forgot your name. Ron. Yeah. Want Ron wise right. Yeah. Ron wise. You know I know you got a nice speaker system in your office. I recommend that you play it as loud as you can and bring it outside. Oh you ain't said nothing but a word. I'm gonna go turn on my bows. There we go. That will distract the zombies.

(35:00):
Here's the kicker though. We need someone to be leading these zombies away from us. No takers huh. We cut over to Tiffany and she is sweating. Oh no. She's having a bad time. She's all pale and green. Yeah. What the fuck's gonna happen to me guys. Am I going to turn out like that. I have a fucking headache from hell. Hold on. We're asking some crazy questions. I want to know.

(35:29):
How does Steve know all of this. Steve's seen this before. Well I can answer that but we should probably handle this situation before. No Steve because that guy didn't pop up until today. And you just got here two weeks ago. I haven't seen anything like this in this town before. And now there are hundreds of people. Some of them are my fucking neighbors out there. And something's going on Steve. You need to explain yourself. Why you got here. Why you got here. Why you got here. Why you got here. Why you got here. Why you got here.

(35:59):
Why you. You come to town and everything's changing. All right fine. I was a genome scientist. OK. I was in the military and then I became a genome scientist known for my incredible mind. All right. I mixed some genomes together that of a dead monkey with a live monkey. And this is what we have. In fact they call them zombies. Truly what they are called is dead monkeys. That was the name I gave them. They didn't. Nobody wanted nobody like that name.

(36:29):
It was a name it was zombies. But if you want to get rid of these dead monkeys all you have to listen to me right now play that speaker. They're getting closer in here. You hear more banging and like they're just like you start to see a hand coming through the glass.
Wrong. Get on that speaker system and we got to lure them out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm blasting this chief keeps on. I can't. I don't know.

(36:54):
Can you go ahead and make up a chief key. Don't like for us real quick. Fuck nigga. That's that. I don't like that. Bitch nigga. That's that shit. I don't like. Don't like. And that's what it's just blasting outside.
Yeah
So you know how every every zombie thing they don't want to say the word zombie, so we're just gonna call them dead monkeys

(37:18):
It's offensive to call zombies on me so um Ron's pretty smart actually so he has a Bluetooth
Fancy smart car fancy as hell and he actually connects a speaker. He turns his car on Tesla type shit mm-hmm
He turns the car on and then he transmit the Bluetooth to the car all the zombies dissipate and go to the truck Oh

(37:39):
Oh
Bait yep now and now it now we have another situation
So there's a shuttle that everybody takes to get to work
From town and and only people that have cars there are Tiffany the front-desk lady Walter
Because he's he's a welder, but he deals with a lot of the marketing aspects of the job

(38:00):
So he does some traveling throughout the workday in Ron so now Ron's cars out of the situation
Not my head Walter has a Toyota Tacoma. That's a two-car two-seater truck. Yeah
Has a
Let's say a Ford Expedition
She can fit six people, but it's 20 people that work at this building snap so we can only save about eight people

(38:24):
So Walter Walter's kind of explaining this to everyone and as he's he's he's kind of relaying this information
Tiffany is getting worse. She's just kind of going in and out of sleep. Oh she got keys
Yeah, yeah, she's going in and out of sleep. She's sweating she gets to the point where she's completely out
We don't know what's gonna happen. Yeah, the skin around her fingernails is peeling back fucking fingernails are coming off

(38:46):
She's gonna turn into one of them might as well take the bullet right now
And then we find out that that hit we gonna call them
Hodges
Hodges this guy that worked the janitor Hodges comes out and says everybody back up
We find out that Hodges has been dating Tiffany for the past few months

(39:06):
Oh, and the last thing he's gonna let anybody do is put a bullet in her head. Oh snap
Hodges you're that new guy, right? What are you? What are you doing here?
She's gonna turn into one of them you guys get away. I love her. She loves me
You're gonna be dead in about 30 seconds. If you don't move right now
She wakes up and she bites him on the neck can you explain?

(39:37):
He turned quick and as she leans up you just see the muscles and the tendons and the skin
Oh just ripping out with her teeth as she comes up
Steve shoots both of them in the head
And everybody so look we have 20 people so now we add what?

(39:57):
That's the 18 kills countdown to kills count at 3
Is it no two people are dog the dog is not a person to a dog
Yeah, to win a dog so to and Heather is that so now we down to 18 people and lost everybody starts
Oh
Everybody calm down
Listen, I only have three bullets left three. There's at least 300 of them outside

(40:21):
I only came to work with six bullets. Y'all look y'all better
Thank your God that I'm here because I happen to be we happen to be in a welding facility
And I happen to know how to make weapons
Oh, so who's with me to make these weapons so we can live another day not end up like these people that I shot
You made them people like that. So what we all make mistakes damn it. I'm living with mine by welding

(40:46):
I thought I was getting away from it all by coming to this stupid fucking job
How's Walter you know one that made this virus
We got to come up with a name for it so it's not gonna be the t-virus dead monkey virus
D virus the DMV

(41:07):
The D hold on. Hey now. I'm from the DMV
God damn it. So people are kind of like some time has passed the zombies are still kind of circling this truck as it's playing music
I would say it's about 6 p.m. Still daylight people are sitting in their corners eating power bars
That's all the bars. They just rated the there was one vending machine. They broke it open and they're just

(41:29):
It's only been like a day like not even a whole day. This is yeah hungry
Yeah, I mean not to be that guy but in reality, bro
Would America even last a day during the zombie apocalypse? Absolutely not absolutely not
60% of the population would be gone by morning. So Steve is
Welding by himself. He's the only one making weapons and he stops for a moment looking over at Walter

(41:52):
He sees that Walter's looking at a picture of his his once his deceased dog Tyson
He'll still kind of mourning his loss
Oh, um, we're putting Steve walks up to Walter Walter. What's up, man? I mean you need talk
I really don't have much to say to the man who just
Killed my dog. But I understand what it's like to lose your best friend. I

(42:16):
Had a pet monkey
His name was Steve, Jr
That's right. He was the first dead monkey. He died and there I was in that
Expensive lab that the US military was able to provide me with I was the lead researcher
Fresh out of Harvard fresh out. I was really smart. But anyways, y'all study in law and then I fell into this

(42:38):
You know my my my pet my best friend Steve, Jr. Also wearing a lab coat. Very cute
Some die right there on that operating table and I thought
It's something I could do something. There gotta be something I could do so he can live another day
And that's when I spliced the genomes together did that forbidden shit
Know I'm saying and he was the first dead monkey came alive

(43:01):
Just like your your friend Tyson and I had to put him down damn created the X gene
I called it the dead monkey virus. Listen Walter
I know you're not too good at social cues, but this situation needs a delicate hand
And I know you're one of the best welders we got here
So I'm gonna need your help if you want to survive this I'm down man
But I will never forgive you for what you did to my dog never I understand after this is all over

(43:26):
We're gonna we're gonna have we're gonna hash that out. I'm gonna kick your ass. Yeah, that is acceptable
Yeah, we're gonna have some problems man. You killed my dog. He's like look he's on be dark or not
He takes a pen and he's like look, I'm gonna write it down on my hand. So I don't forget
They shake on it
We're gonna take a short break and get right back to this spooky story

(43:47):
Okay, don't go anywhere. Don't you do it?
Maybe hats. Well, I got good news for you. The merch store is open
Come check us out at link tree comm slash DNG pod
Click the merch link and get yourself a definitely not good shirt or a definitely not good hat and for a limited time grab yourself

(44:13):
I am the water goblin teacher
This is in the limited stock and won't be there forever. Thank you for supporting us and now let's get back to some definitely not good
And we're back
Yes, what dying we have another sponsor?
We have another sponsor another one that's been that sponsor. Oh

(44:45):
We do change sauce
This episode is proudly sponsored by chainsaws
Or is it
Yeah, yeah, we need to change. I don't think so. Okay. Yeah, then change all yeah
For 10 noodles, how do you feel about chain sauce? I like chainsaw. They're really good

(45:10):
You know cutting things like got trees for instance
Body parts paper got legs. You got arms. Ah, yeah now now you want to get you know real real
Spicy way you cut off heads. Oh, I never thought of that
Yeah, it's pretty quick. It's probably the quickest way to do it

(45:30):
I wouldn't say the quickest now right now now
I feel like the quickest are probably a guillotine that things going smooth clean through, you know
But a chainsaw I feel like it's it's one of those things with its person. Mm-hmm
You know, it's really personal. It lets you get up and close with the thing that you're trying to cut right cut right cut

(45:51):
Yeah, good. Do you think the chainsaws too much or is it just right with what I feel like?
Leatherface would have would say it's just right. It's just right. Yeah, and I mean leatherface are really close
I'm gonna go with just the right amount of right you ever see the tiny chainsaw. No, they're like
Like a foot long. Mm-hmm. Those are cute. They're talking about the little I seen somebody a little pink one

(46:15):
Oh, those are good for fingers and toes
Branches I
Like around your garden. Yeah, like that fingers off people being in your garden true true, right?
I like the chainsaws are pretty much like knives on top of a knife. You know what I mean? Yeah, like it's like someone asked

(46:36):
How can we cut more efficiently? You're playing?
Kirby in the crystal shorts. Yes
You know how you you can like merge two powers together to get a new thing
That's what chainsaw is is you get two knives and they merged together and they make a chainsaw
Yeah, wow a chain of knives a chain of to make a saw even

(47:00):
Wow saws are really personal. Yeah, let you feel everything. They're pretty cool. You can feel it going through the bone. Yeah
Yeah means business, you know, they say, you know bone saw. Oh, yeah
It was a dog saw on this show one time. Yeah good times good times. Thank you chainsaws. Thank you chainsaws
Wow, really revving this up

(47:23):
That was cute good job, thank you. Yeah. Yeah for ten noodles. I got a question for you before we hop back in this
I'm out for the candy
You have a social media presence you're you're you're
Really bringing out the content pretty consistently and I know you also have like

(47:47):
Father duties also like you and life and work and stuff. I'm just like curious how
How do you do it? Like what how do you manage to be creative and have videos come out and do life?
Schedule you schedule. Yeah
I'm not gonna say that's as literally the only answer I have to that. I have he's been in my house

(48:11):
I have a calendar that hangs up right next to my desk in my little studio. Yeah, I have a
Calendar I can have a schedule I have things I have to get done by certain times throughout the day
Yeah, and if they aren't done, I'm beating myself up mentally. So so is like is like the calendar your Horcrux
Like if someone destroyed your calendar, then they would destroy you essentially. No, I mean, um, that's good

(48:34):
You know at the end of the day I could just get an account
It's just more effective the matter that having a schedule helps me stay consistent
It's like knowing that when I leave here
I have to make at least two to three videos so that I have a video for Wednesday and I have a video for Friday and
I have a video for Monday
So that gives me the rest of this week to do nothing but focus on what's my next move for next week?

(48:57):
Yeah, it's I try to the video. I just uploaded today was made last week, you know
Yeah, and the same day I made the one that was I made the night with the red one. I just
Whenever I make content, I try to make multiple pieces at once. Mm-hmm so that I can trickle them out
Okay, you know instead of trying to make the thing I'm beyond for a while. I was making the thing

(49:18):
I'm going to drop the day before like or the day of and I'm going to put it up South Park. I know right
but in
You know, I got myself more in a rhythm of have two to three videos already in a chamber
So that that gives because I don't upload, you know videos every day
Try to upload

(49:39):
Like three days a week videos. That's pretty consistent. Yeah, it pictures every other day if not
And I do you have any advice for people who would say like they don't have enough time to do stuff like that
Yeah, go to your phone go to let me be exact here. Okay, if you don't think you have enough time
I need you to go to screen time in your settings and see

(50:02):
The daily average that you spend looking at your phone screen and if it's more
Than you thought it was or even if it's one hour if that hour was not spent
Doing something towards whatever it is that you want to achieve in your life
Then you can spend that hour making a video
Mmm on like I just explained to you. Yeah up until I got that camera making videos or nothing

(50:26):
But my phone you could spend an hour and make two to three quick videos on your phone
Get them ready and schedule them because cool
You don't got time to do XYZ make two to three videos right now
Schedule them for Monday Wednesday Friday
Now you got this whole week and you're gonna tell me throughout the rest of this week
You're gonna have another hour or to go and make you another two to three videos

(50:49):
So you can get ready for the next week and the next week if you saying you don't have a hour or two
Every day, I promise you the average person spend more time than that on tik-tok every day facts
So it's you just don't want it bad enough. Yeah
What's um, what would you say is the app that was taking up the most of your time that you had to kind of?

(51:10):
Cut the head off. I mean real true. I'm nothing knows. I'm honestly very super
Focused. Okay, very focused individual. So one thing I could say it wasn't that I was distracted by things like, you know
Things that didn't have to do with what I wanted to do
I was just more distracted with learning more about without what I want to do and not applying it

(51:35):
Mmm, I was so I can say that I get in those modes even now I get so focused on learning learning learning
I'm not applying shit. Yeah, and that can be very detrimental
It's like like in the vein of like those super long tutorials that are like how to do the super intricate thing
But and then by the end of it, it's just like learning that one thing but not really applying it

(51:58):
Is that is that kind of what you mean? Yeah, I'll sit and learn, you know a very
Complicated concept about marketing and I'll be like, oh if I cut, you know add two and two together in my head
Or I add this with this and my you know
The concept would be great for marketing and it'd do this because with these results I see that with the results

(52:20):
I got here. I see that combining my know what do great
I'll sit on that information. Yeah until let's say set exploit of the marketing campaign no longer works
mmm, and now I just missed my opportunity because I
Knew the information but I didn't apply it. Mmm. I see so as that's one of my biggest things now is take the time to still study

(52:41):
Every day but make sure that you're also taking the time every day to apply some shit to
Make something. Yeah, gotcha
That's that's super insightful. Lucky. What what what are you doing? I'm just sitting here
Do you have any advice for the people who want to get into what you do Nuckety what I do, yeah

(53:11):
I mean just do it. Mmm, just do it until you get good at it and keep doing it
How'd you get good at sound design and making music? I just did it. Oh, yeah that explains it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When did you start?
2002 Jesus Christ. Yeah, a couple years ago

(53:37):
When would you say you got you started to get good at making music I still don't think I'm good
You're amazing. That's cat. Give him his flowers. I'm I'm good enough to do what I'm doing
No, Nuck is the goat. I call him master splinter for a reason. Let me let me ask a different question then
When do you feel like it started to click with you with making music?

(53:57):
Right away right away. Yeah, you had the latent ability
Yeah, well, I was supposed to be a cartoonist
I was going to school to be to be a cartoonist and all that and then I just decided one day
That I wanted to make
Try to make beats
Because DJ quick I heard a DJ quick song and I was like if he could do that I can do it

(54:19):
Mm-hmm, and then I found a coke music coke music which
boy, oh boy
You don't remember that the
Coke music they need to bring coke. That was a shit. That was the craziest thing that there's ever
I can't believe we haven't brought it back. Give a quick example like explain around that so coke music was a online game made by

(54:40):
Coca-Cola where people can make their own avatars
Have an apartment have like like they can rearrange like their furniture and like stuff like kind of like the Sims
But you can also make your own music like beats like they actually had a music editor on the game
What the fuck on top of that man?
I'm telling you on top of that you can play that song at a DJ in the game added at a club in the game

(55:04):
And then people can vote like yes like like a thumbs up thumbs down on the song like I'm so serious
I cannot believe that it's not a thing right now. That's so sick. Yeah, it was so tight and nobody
That's a dope concept cuz guess what so cool, you know as
People who do music we sit in there for any computers all day

(55:24):
Mm-hmm
Make a beat and go into this world and then show your beat to people and see get fucking live
Responses to your shit like yeah, that's how so I mean that I cannot believe somebody hasn't done that
Recently, what do you hey if you're a programmer out there and you're listening to this fucking show go go make a new coke music

(55:45):
Call it whatever you want. I don't go fuck just make a new social media
Yeah, fucking MMORPG beat maker game, please where we can import our own beats that we got on our computer
Look at this. What are you guys doing? That was so cool. You're doing coke music was so also if people liked your song enough
You're getting money and you can use that money to buy cooler shit for your apartment

(56:06):
Oh, and then people can come to your apartment
You can play your music for them like this game was so ahead of his time and it still doesn't exist for some reason
So so what it would give me a guess in the servers or something just down now
They just it's just not a thing anymore. They probably just weren't making enough money from it
That's probably why but but fucking bring back coke music
How how fucking monetization works in the game industry now? I definitely think coke should bring that back

(56:32):
Absolutely 100,000 percent bring that shit back shout out to cook music
They would make more music more money off of that than they do off of their coke if y'all bring it back
Y'all better give Nuck a percentage of something because he gave y'all the idea. We will not say that you didn't
Because I haven't heard nothing about it until he said something. It's so good

(56:53):
Where we last left off Walter has found himself in the middle of a dead monkey apocalypse
Dead monkey being zombies. We don't say the Z word. He true
He lost his best friend Tyson and he had a little bit of a heart-to-heart with Steve
Who's uh, he's needing his assistance to make some weapons. Did I miss anything?

(57:18):
Tiffany's Tiffany's dead. Oh, yeah, Tiffany's dead
Yeah, dog. It was a fire watch by the way, but she was
She was the um, the lobby lady. Oh, you're right. She was the lobby everybody else is you know, except for Ron
Ron is the CEO and then everybody got 18 employees left. That's right
That's right team team team remaining. We like to throw a wrench in our already broken story

(57:42):
So we're gonna only shit one more wheel one more wheel called the topic wheel
Washing machine
All right, so some time has passed and we are at the laundry section of

(58:03):
Can I do this one? Please? Yeah. All right. So yeah, like I like that that that'd be this is times past
They didn't already cleared out the goddamn
The vending machine in the lobby
So the way they made the reason they made their way to the the washroom because of course welding this long job
You gotta work 12 hours sometimes so they got showers there. They went to the washroom

(58:27):
So, you know, you could wash the clothes stuff. There's another vending machine in there to get some snacks
But they they didn't know was that Ron sent us some dirty business. Oh
She laundered money Ron is into money laundering
So one of these washing machines is a fake washing machine with a hole in the wall that leads out to a

(58:49):
Part of the building that is accessible with just a push door. Yeah. Oh no
I'm gonna say it again just a push door not the little the handles. Hmm
One of those and Ron is that without partying with his friends other than I you know Ron got some money
He got a welding business. He admitted he left the door

(59:11):
I'm like, oh Ron you so they're in there
They're breaking open his vending machine trying to get in there and next thing you know
They start hearing a weird machine coming from one of the weird sound coming from one of the washing machines
Yeah, and it's just you know, it's like what the fuck is that something in the washing machine? Hey Ron
What's up with the washing machine in the back left corner? You know, yeah, nobody used that we thought it was broken

(59:32):
No, that was broken. Don't worry about that one. No, man. We had some banging coming from over there right now
We can't exactly ignore that because the last banging we heard it was you know, something would have fits with skin missing
Yeah, it was like three employees who are complaining about it
One of them one of them's Henry the other one is DeMarcus. Yo, man, what like what's what's going on man?
Nothing you guys you guys you guys stay out here. I'll go I'll handle it

(59:56):
Oh, no, I feel like Steve's to step in eventually. Okay. Yeah Steve. So Steve Steve is welding
He sees he's welding with Walter actually. He's making guns. What is he making? We don't know yet
we see we see like this like Ron very very
suspiciously walking down the staircase into the back room and

(01:00:17):
Steve looks over to Walter says I don't trust that CEO Walter. I think he's hiding something
I think he is too. Honestly, yeah boy, whatever you say, you know, I don't I don't really know
I was I was just doing a welding thing like you told me now. I think we should probably see what's going on
Let's follow. All right
I gotta be socially awkward

(01:00:37):
Well, yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, so um, we see we get inside the laundry room and we see
Ron he opens up the washing machine
And there's a hole there's a hole and there's just loads of money
He gets one of those like laundry knapsacks and he's just looking like left to right
He sees just stacking it in there quickly

(01:00:59):
But just as he's doing that
Walter and Steve enter to see what's going on. Oh
Oh
What the hell you doing? It's not what it looks like. Uh this it came like this. I
Mean if it came like that Steve, I don't Walter you're not picking up on this situation
You're the only thing I could pick up on is that I definitely hear the banging from that door

(01:01:24):
Did you lock that door Ron? Oh, no, it doesn't have a real lock. It's like a latch, you know, idiot
The door breaks open. Oh shit
So like two zombies
Stumbling and they fall over top of each other
As more start to as more notice that the door has opened in that car that they were paying attention to with the speaker

(01:01:45):
Was of course, you know interrupted by the thumping of that door
So all of the zombies turn around they start making their way towards the door Ron
Screams. Yep. What the fuck as he's still stuffing money in the bag, of course
Mm-hmm. Yeah, and then I'm screaming and doing is this puts his gun up. He's aiming it
He's telling Ron to run over so that they can get out of this back room. It was a door

(01:02:09):
Try to you know, jam it close it
but
Ron won't let the money stay. No, I worked hard for this money. I'm taking this fucking money
So I want to visualize the fact that he is he is kind of on top of his money and he's not moving
I'm not moving trying to carry it with him following Walter and Steve, but they closed that door and

(01:02:33):
Ron is gone
Ron in there screaming getting literally eating
To pieces eating alive with his money being the plate
We see that washing machine going and we see blood splatter on it
As what occurs is too violent to be described

(01:02:57):
So as they leave quickly Steve is like Walter, give me that
Give me the wall. Give me the welding tools, man
Come on, bring it over bring it over while to brings the the welding tools and they well
I'm so slow because he doesn't understand the urgency
Come on man, pick it up. Well, hey man, I'm moving, you know
I'm gonna finish eating him then they're gonna come for us. Well, look, I think that he's a pretty big snack

(01:03:19):
I think they're gonna be out there for a while. I don't know Rod's fat as hell
The other people are like what's going on? Where's Ron? Well, um, I know Tom to explain
we're gonna weld this door shut so uh, they start to welding it shut and
Yeah, cuz we're in a welding facility. That's a good idea
and so they're in mid welding and one of those one of those arms just breaks through and

(01:03:41):
Because it's getting late and the closer it gets to this moon being at its highest peak
The zombies will be the strongest. No, they're getting stronger. They're like water benders
These dead monkeys get stronger as the night goes on. Yeah, somebody get him. Give me a machete
Well, my chetay me get just carry machetes in a well in the world
Cut that arm off they finished welding the door shut but now there's zombies there

(01:04:06):
there's a there's a
It's because what was I think Ryan Ryan kind of saw this coming but he
It was he sort of as a joke. He bought a machete in a glass frame and it said in case of zombies
Oh on the wall. That would be a way
It's like yes, it's just a funny thing about and then it's like no, it's serious

(01:04:28):
We established it earlier in the movie, but it didn't come up until just now
So there's this this just feeling of dread with everyone as they kind of realize that Ron has died and Steve
Beaks up, but he doesn't speak too much. He said we're down to 17. Mm-hmm. Your boss is dead
If we can survive till Sun to Sun up then I thought the goal was to get to cars

(01:04:50):
We got the Toyota Tacoma and the Ford Expedition out there. Yeah, but we gotta wait till those zombies are gone
They end they in the back room. Oh, they're all in the back room right now. I thought that yeah
I said they was they was state. They was um
About by the car by Ron's car with the speaker and then that back door once the first couple zombies broke it down and saw

(01:05:11):
Us in there all of them start coming over. Okay, Ron's screaming his head. Well, I think Ron's pretty pretty
He's probably getting pooped out at this point now
I'm saying though like I feel like
Yeah, they probably should be sitting down trying to plot because of course there's gonna be some stragglers still out front
They trying to plot how can we get past a few zombies that are out front Walter's right to get to those two cars?

(01:05:34):
I'll just write everybody but another thing
Where's Tiffany's body and where's that key? Because did we put Tiffany's body in the back? Oh, I shot them in the head
It should be alright. I'm saying no where did we store the buy because you would think reasonably in a story like this
We put the bodies in the back to keep them out the way where Ron just died and we just welded the door

(01:05:57):
Oh
So now we down to just a Toyota Tacoma. Oh
Actually, where did I did? Where did we put that body? Yes
Oh shit, that's right. I
I'm sorry, but I made the dead monkeys immune to headshots
What the fuck that's kind of a misstep on my part. You gotta cut the hits off

(01:06:20):
Well, you gotta kind of lowly got kind of my other heads off. Also, they're susceptible to bananas
I don't suppose anybody's got bananas here. Do they know didn't think so. Does it have to be ripe?
There's a girl named ever she has a bunch of green bananas she's like I brought these I have plantains
Plantains are like an offshoot of banana. They could work, but we need to use them a little fatter

(01:06:44):
But they're still we use them as diversion matter of fact, that might be the reason they're after us. Damn it
Why did you bring bananas to work? I'm low on potassium. I had to have a deficiency. All right
Here's the plan. Tell me what you feel about this Walter
I'm gonna gear you up with some with a suit of armor and a helmet so they can't get you
They can't bite into that right? I'm gonna get you to run to that car

(01:07:06):
Go get the authorities bring him back over here clear him out. That's to say if there's any authorities at the town
What if I get to the town and everywhere looks like this man Henry Henry one of the guys says bring me with you
I don't want to be stuck here. Only two seats in the truck. I have sandwiches. I want a sandwich you can come
I'm sorry everybody. Somebody has to do it. I don't suppose any of you want to go out there and risk your lives

(01:07:29):
Didn't think so. That's why we're sending Walter Walter
You know, he lost his best friend and he's willing to do this to save your hide
So y'all should be worshiping his ass right now. Yeah, I'm I'm I'm willing I guess I'm I'm willing. Yeah
It's D said I'm yeah, I'm willing I'll go I'll do it. Um, oh, yeah, so

(01:07:51):
We got to establish that there's the the only thing that's out there is this Weldon facility and then a little ways down
The road is a lake and the lake is like where we were we Kansas. Yeah
Okay, let's say Kansas has like a great lake. Okay, sure
and
There's a there's a boat at that lake and they the only way out of here is to get on that boat like a ferry

(01:08:14):
You know, it's a ferry that goes across the lake Jimmy. You're absolutely right next city
I can't believe I forgot about that lake. It's like a zombie apocalypse. Is anybody running the ferry right now?
No, it's on baby monkeys. Oh my bad. I'm sorry. You're right. This is DMV invasion
All right, Walter. How you feeling about this? You think you can get to that boat?
Yeah, I mean, um, did you did you did you call the ferry and make sure they were running my phone?

(01:08:39):
I'm sorry. Yeah, I forgot you know my shame. I do not carry a smartphone as I believe it is a delinquent device
Delinquent like the things you got walking around outside
We all make mistakes Walter
I don't know what else to say how many people later you may in Kansas alone is probably about a million
So you made like a million mistakes in this one state alone. Some people make big mistakes Walter

(01:09:06):
All right, here's a suit of armor for you. All right, I made it I made it myself
while everyone was panicking
Lou and the full I also got the sack of blood, you know
Put it on the armor so they'd think you're zombie
But I'm also gonna give you bananas so you can distract them throw it throw it
Use them as grenades to distract them. Hmm. That makes sense. Yeah. Mm-hmm. That's a good idea. Where'd you get all this blood?

(01:09:34):
It's not important from from the dog
It's not it for you about the fucking piece about the smother yourself in Tyson's left
We smother yourself in your dead dog's blood now. Hey, I didn't know what else to do Walter
I had to use your dead dog's blood to smother it
Tyson this is Tyson in this last let him save you better not think about it too much Walter

(01:09:55):
But we're all counting on you. All right
You got this pat on the back
one of the other employees had I also made a necklace out of his teeth here you this is
For good luck. Yeah, you go
one of the other employees Henry and
Let's call him Jason
Not gonna keep like Jason. I will be Jason. Hey

(01:10:17):
Do you think you'll actually be able to help us Walter like cuz I don't want to die. It's gonna be okay, right?
Steve said get to the ferry but like you're gonna go to the ferry and come back, right?
You're gonna you're gonna bring people to help us. Thanks. Like I
Come back
What he said? I'll I'll get to the ferry. Let me show you something. He pulls out his wallet

(01:10:40):
These are my two two kids one's name Allison. The other one's name is Roberto
I don't know the other side of the lake down the other side of the lake if I don't survive
Tell them that I love them. I'm giving this to you. I don't have a photo album. I
You willing to do that for me, I mean I have a hand I can hold it
Yeah, how long you want me to hold it? He hold he grabs his arm. Thank you, Walter

(01:11:04):
He doesn't get that he doesn't get it. Yeah, this is on the back
I'll get on the ferry. I'll be on the ferry. We're trusting you man. Make sure you come back
I'll be on the I'll come back. I'll come back. Okay. Yeah
Okay, Walter has one more hard to hurt with him. He says and no you really stuck yourself out doing this to help other people

(01:11:27):
so I appreciate you and I
I
Don't know what else to say single tear rolls down
Steve Jr.
Suddenly the wall breaks down
Oh shit
I'm gonna cover for you
Walter go

(01:11:48):
Slow down slow down if the ball just broke down this is about to be one person left now only one person has on armor
Just you so you better fucking run
Well no Steve has a gun you got three bullets
He starts shooting them
Walter get out of here. I'll handle this. What is everybody else? Don't leave Steve Jr.
I'll clean up my mess
I'm gonna clean with three bullets for Steve Jr.

(01:12:09):
He runs out and he just he grabs like a fucking like a like the piece like the reload
What's it called like the magazine magazine starts lodging it into the necks of people
And he's they're fighting man. He's going down fighting
Steve's running out of bullets. He's running out of bullets. He's running out of bullets
They're fighting man. He's going down fighting. He's a gangster man. Yeah shit. Okay, but what about the other 16? Oh, they're gone. They're gone

(01:12:34):
He knows fucking immediately. Yep. How do they die? Damn?
Okay, sorry dead monkeys all up in there biting the fuck out of them and then you know, not even let me eat them
They just bite them on the throat and tear it out and move on. Mm-hmm. Oh man, just like let them squirm
Yeah, they're not even hungry. They're just bored. Yeah, one of them defecates and then throws it in someone's face
What the fuck? Yeah, cuz monkey they all have they have tails to it forgot to mention that facts

(01:12:58):
Oh, yeah, the virus right? So they got you they got some monkey
Aspects to him. Yeah, they're strangling people with their tails and shit cut to one of them opening a banana and eating it
Hmm. No, like when they get some people they they peel their skin off and eat them like a banana. Oh shit. Oh
Oh shit, they grab the top of their head and just like they don't like human skin. They just want the inside

(01:13:19):
So when they get to you the first thing they do is just they are ripping skin off
Oh snap and their fingernails are longer. Oh
And they're so strong. Why are they so strong? Yeah, cuz monkeys are strong. They got the gorilla aspect to them. They're strong
They're ripping off people's nuts and faces. Oh
Oh, man, yeah before we can describe it any further

(01:13:41):
We're following now Walter as he's barreling through these D monkeys the only guy with armor just running around and I want to describe
How cool this looks?
He is like imagine like a like a freaking football player just ramming through people in a suit of armor
What is he? Is he holding something? He has a weapon, right? I have a photo

(01:14:03):
She told me that she told me to hold the photo. I don't have a photo
One photo in his hand and a machete in the other and he's just slicing these heads off
So he gets to his Toyota Tacoma, he jumps in he looks over at the passenger seat with Tyson would be
Little tail rolls down
Starts up the car, peels out, runs over about two zombies. You see a head fly back to the camera

(01:14:27):
He's peeling off down the road as he notices that the wood says left and right as he's driving down
Shadows are coming out. He's realizing that there's more than what they expected
They're coming they hear that rusty engine man. They hear it. He gets to the ferry
He sees that it's already there. It's parked. You know what it says about five cars on there already

(01:14:49):
So he pulled up, got on there, got out of his car, slammed the gate as fast as he could
Ran up to the you know the the driver. I don't even want to call it. The cockpit of the boat
What do they call that? I don't know the mast. Sure the deck
The deck. The galley. I don't know. I don't know both. He runs up there to see what's going on

(01:15:13):
He notices that the room is empty and there's just a huge splat like splatter of blood across the console
Oh no. And he's just like what the hell what's going on? I don't know what to do
Steve just told me to get to the ferry. I'm at the ferry. Yeah!
And then out of the closet stumbles this DMV with the captain's hat on

(01:15:38):
Oh snap
They don't go whoa they go
He jumps on you, feet on your chest, arms on your shoulders. What do you do?
Well he's in armor. Walter's in armor so he's lucky. So as Walter gets jumped on

(01:16:04):
Armor class 10
There's a small desk that the captain kept next to the controls that falls over when they fall
That's where he kept his weed
And no no no and a pistol falls out. Oh yeah an old six-shoot revolver
So he picks it up as the captain's beating on the armor trying to like I said they like to peel you

(01:16:28):
In each so he's trying to get the claws in his chest to peel him and get a good bite
He takes the pistol, bang! Shoots the captain right in the head
He's laying on top of him
But guess what? Headshots don't work. So the captain flies back. Walter thinks he's good
He turns around because he forgets you know it's easy to slip your mind that shooting something in the head

(01:16:49):
Don't kill it. Stands up, turns around, it jumps on his back. So the next thing you know he's fighting
Bouncing around the room with this monkey captain on his back
Before he goes in for the kill you hear barking and you look over and it's just little small white adorable dog
Biting at the ankle of the captain and it distracts him enough to like stop him from trying to attack you

(01:17:15):
What do you do?
So the question is this is it biting the pants?
The pants
Okay, yeah, we know what happened to the last dog that bit the dog
So he looks back and that's just enough time for Walter to pull out the knife that he had
Slow down, you already said he had a machete when he left the place
Oh that's true
Yeah, so the only thing he did was the machete he dropped once he got jumped on

(01:17:40):
You know he had the pistol in one hand, the machete he sees it, picks it up
And as the DMV was bending down to grab at the dog
You see the head just drops right next to the puppy and its white fur turns red
Because of, you know, all the blood that just splatters
It splatters on it in a Z pattern
Oh man

(01:18:01):
Oh that's sick
Damn, the dog is afraid, you check the collar and his name is Popo
Popo, well fuck with the Popo
I think her name is Ellie
Ellie?
Okay, the captain's name was Popo
This is Ellie the dog
Captain Popo
Captain's dog, Ellie
Okay
And Walter, because he doesn't have quite the social cues

(01:18:22):
He seems, he's very comfortable with dogs though
What does he say to Ellie?
Come here girl, come here Ellie
It's gonna be okay
You just had me say come here
But yeah, he gets the dog to come over
Come here, come here girl, come here, we're gonna get you out of here
We're gonna get you out of here
He picks the dog up, you said it's like a little puppy right?
Yeah
He picks the dog up, this, what's it, the captain was one of those really high end dog owners

(01:18:47):
So he had a little carrier for his dog
Walter puts on the carrier and puts the dog in the back
Dogs just sitting on his shoulder now
He's in his full suit of armor with a fucking pistol in him
And a machete with a little cute puppy just hanging off his shoulder
He sees a switch that says forward and he pulls it and the boat pulls off and goes out into the lake

(01:19:10):
The big lake
Oh, where he goes into the town
Holy shit, what's in, well maybe in the sequel
We have a wide shot as it's the dead of night
We see this fairy kind of coasting along on this completely still lake
And finally we see a foot in that forest that leads into the driveway off of where the boat is

(01:19:36):
Fucking Steve survived
But not really
But not really, he's bitten up
He takes some smoke
He has the cure, he beat all that ass
Yeah, maybe I should have mentioned I had the cure on me
Yeah, like he had the vaccine already, he's not, he's immune
What do you think Steve Jr., should we follow him?

(01:19:58):
Whoa, Steve Jr., I thought Steve Jr. was dead
It's a new dog, it's a new
Monkey?
New monkey in a lab coat?
It's not a monkey, it'll say, what do you think Steve the third?
Steve Jr.'s baby, is this a little capuchin?
Yeah, and he walks over to a boat and that's where it ends guys

(01:20:19):
That's where it ends, because zombie movies never fucking end
Right, yeah, that's facts
We fucking did it guys
We did it
Yeah, that was fun, I love zombies
Dead monkeys
I wanna watch this movie
You know, what's gonna get it is that when my friends back home in Baltimore hear me
Talking about the DMV, the dead monkey virus, they're gonna be on my top

(01:20:41):
They're gonna be on my top real bad
You're welcome
Like, yeah bro, why you let them say that about the DMV?
Man, chill
Oh man
That was funny though
410 Noodles, I wanna thank you for being back on the show
Thanks buddy
Really appreciate your time
Anytime, every time
You're a good guy
Anytime, every time
When people find you online
www., don't forget that dot, 410 Noodles with a Z at the end, not S, dot com

(01:21:12):
You got any new videos you think people should check out?
I have a new project out called Welcome to Fifth Element
There's a music video called Second Element, that's out
That's my latest music video, that's out
As well as on the 31st of this month, I had a song from, I got a grant from Washington State Housing Alliance

(01:21:35):
To make a song about housing injustice that NUK actually engineered
Right here at State Hydro Studios
I did that here
The song and video will be dropping on the 31st of this month
That's Halloween Day
Can't miss that guys
For you fucking noobs out there
410 Noodles, thank you so much

(01:21:56):
Thank you guys
Out of curiosity, do you have a better ending than the one I had?
A better ending?
Yeah, because I feel unsatisfied with that ending
That's how you're supposed to feel at the end of a zombie movie
I feel like this is the kind that has credits and then there's one more scene, what is it?
The one more scene is going to be, I feel like that would have been the one more scene
Okay, you're right

(01:22:17):
I got it
So he's like walking around the boat and like it's a really, really fucking big lake
So it's going to be out there for a while so he's walking around looking at stuff
And he goes down to where the cars are parked
And there's like 20, 30 cars in there
And he's just walking around
And he looks off to the side and he sees that the ground is wet and he walks over to it

(01:22:41):
And it's blue liquid and he touches it and he's like, what is this?
And then the dog barks and he turns around
But when he turns around, his foot landed in the blue stuff
And he slipped and he bumped into a car and the alarm went off
And then you just see a bunch of bodies start rising up from in between the cars
No, not in them, but like around the cars

(01:23:05):
You can just imagine, you look and see a bunch of parked empty cars
And then out of nowhere, the car he bumps, fuck
And out of nowhere you just see people just start rising up from in between the cars
And then they're coming out the cars and he's like, holy shit
And then cut to black

(01:23:27):
Love that
You dirty bitch
That's how you do it
Nuckety, where can they find your ass online?
If you want to listen to me, you can find me on NUQADY on all the social medias
If you need Beats of Studio time, you can go ahead and follow me on there
And give me a ring a ding

(01:23:49):
Excellent
Just to clarify, you said N-U-Q-A-D-Y
Yes, sir
Go holla at this man
Holla
Is he over there being weird?
And once again, if you want to check us out online, we're DNGPOD on TikTok, Instagram

(01:24:11):
Also check out linktree.com slash DNGPOD
Click the merch link and buy yourself a definitely not good hat or definitely not good shirt
Or whatever
Or whatever
Whatever, whatever
Yeah, and leave us a review and say whether or not you like candy corn in the review
Because if you don't, you're wrong
You're wrong

(01:24:32):
I just want to say before we close, I was really trying to find a way to incorporate welding into this
And I had the idea of maybe someone's arm got cut off, but then you had to weld a sword into
Oh, that would have been sick
Maybe in the sequel that'll happen
Maybe
Or you got bit and then you have to weld it
Like what Eagle did

(01:24:53):
Yeah, like weld the part that got bit
Hey CJ, open your fucking mouth next time, okay?
Yeah, you're right
Yeah, you're right
You could have chopped somebody's arm off
And like you said, they didn't weld it for sick
It could have made like a makeshift attachment for the person's arm and then the chainsaw
Yeah, the fucking chainsaw
You brought the chainsaw up
You could have said, oh, well, we're going to attach this chainsaw

(01:25:15):
We use to cut the branches and stuff out back
You're the idea guy
I'm just here
You know what?
If the show was called definitely good, it would have had chainsaws
But it's definitely not good
Unfortunately, we're bad at this
All right, guys, see you next time
Love you
Bye
Definitely not good

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64 - WELDead 🧟‍♂️ ( feat. 410 Noodlez )

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;} 64 - WELDead 🧟‍♂️ ( feat. 410 Noodlez )