January 21, 2025 • 41 mins
This one has cars in it
Host - CJ Rhone
Producer - Nuqady
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
What up you dingus? This is definitely not good. The podcast where we create stories and they're definitely probably not good.
(00:07):
I'm your host CJ and I'm joined by my producer Nuckety. Hello.
Hey, today it's just us. We asked everybody to be on the show and everybody said no all at once in unison. So it's just us.
Thanks for that guys. I don't know what this is, but it's definitely not good.
(00:45):
Hey, so if it's your first time listening to the show, this is pretty much how everything works. We are amazing storytellers.
And it's our job, our sacred duty to come up with a story completely from scratch with a little twist.
We have a series of wheels we're going to spin, each of them random and probably terrible.
And somehow, some way we have to incorporate it into a story. And that's pretty much what we're doing here today. Ain't that right, Nuckety?
(01:09):
I mean, if you say so. Do you, you know, usually you give a guest a warm up, but today it's just me.
So I'm wondering if you have a warm up for me because I'm feeling like I need it.
I didn't, but let me try to think of one real quick. Yeah, yeah. Take as long as you need. People, you know, people, the longer it is, the better, you know, the longer, the better.
(01:32):
But yeah, the more you think the longer the dead air, the more money we make, actually. So just keep thinking.
As long as that's how it works. Do do do do do do do do do. Oh, that's a banger right there. Do you just make that up? Yeah, yeah.
It was just, you know, popping around. Damn. All right. OK. OK. In your best Deku, can you please tell me what animes you're looking forward to this year?
(02:04):
Oh, gosh. Well, can't go wrong with all my, you know, my hero academia. But I've really been into what's that called? Jujutsu Kaisen. Oh, my God. It's crazy. I love I love anime.
You're going to cry about it. I love anime more than anybody. That's my best Deku. That's really good. That was really good. Thank you. Thank you. You know, I was a good warm up.
(02:36):
Have you seen those memes of people pretending to be Deku? No. With the voice. You haven't? No, no. Oh, man.
If if you're listening and you're you're an anime fan or even if you're not, look it up on YouTube, people doing impressions of Deku.
And it's just it's just funny. It's it's like a preteen like, oh, I'm I'm an anime boy. Don't make me cry. I'll cry if you make me cry.
(03:04):
You know, it's true because he will fucking cry. He will cry.
He'll be getting the shit beat out of him and he'll cry about it. Yeah, he'll cry or he'll be beating the shit out of somebody and then he'll cry.
Because he'll fucking cry, baby. Yeah. The most crybaby ass hero I've ever seen. If I'm being honest, I couldn't get into the show.
(03:25):
I really tried. That's why. It's a really good show. You like the show? I love that show. This is great. I liked All Might.
And then they like all the alert kind of did some stuff with him that weren't ideal. But yeah, it's all right. It's all right.
What what have you been eating lately? What you been putting in your stomach?
My wife's job center, the an assortment of treats, just random snacks that I don't know even where to buy on a regular day.
(03:56):
And I've been eating. Talk about perks. Yeah, yeah. She didn't eat any of them. She gave them all to me, which I, you know, that's fine.
I'll eat them. I'll eat snacks. But today she gave me some chocolate covered almonds. Okay. I wouldn't hate that.
Yeah, that's pretty good. I wouldn't hate that. I like those. What's it? What's it like being in your 30s?
(04:19):
Oof. I couldn't tell you because I'm only 19, you know. Oh, man. I asked the wrong guy. Yeah. Yeah.
What do you mean? What do you mean? Old man, dude. What's it? What's it like being 19? I'm a whippersnapper.
You know, you know, just I hurt my ankle on my skateboard the other day. And but now it feels fine because I'm 19 and the pain doesn't last very long.
(04:44):
And when I sleep, I sleep for so long. Skibbity. Oh, that's great. Yeah. I miss that. Yeah. Oh, God. Oh, boy.
Oh, I can sleep for longer than three hours at a time. Even if that's what you want to know about. I forgot what that's like.
Yeah. You know, this morning I had to wake up at seven. So I set my alarm for six a.m.
Yeah. And I I set it for six a.m. so I could be ready. Right.
(05:07):
So then I was like, hey, I'm going to put a 30 minute alarm on like a snooze, you know. Uh huh. So I put on a snooze for 30 minutes, close my eyes and I swear like 30 seconds later that alarm went off.
Oh, yeah. No, like time goes. Time never goes faster than when you're trying to get back to sleep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, like I blew my mind because when I was awake, I set a 15 minute alarm to just lay in bed.
(05:31):
And that was taking forever. Hasn't been 15 minutes yet. What happens? Anyways, we don't have a sponsor today, but we do have a very special sponsor that is not real and actually fake.
So I'm going to give it up to Nuckety to spin that epic wheel. OK. By all means, please go for it. That means by all.
(06:00):
Today's episode is brought to you by music. This episode is proudly sponsored by music.
Music. Nice. Play that funky jam. You know, I have a hot take here. Where'd you get this?
Hot take. I like music. You do? I think music's pretty good. What a wheel. I don't know. Sometimes I hear something that sounds good and I want to snap my fingers, tap my toe. I just can't help it.
(06:25):
It's so good. That's very interesting. I never heard of anybody. Have you seen a doctor about that? No, no, no. I hate doctors and music. I'm pretty concerned, man.
Yeah. Well, I don't. Sorry. I don't hate music. I love it quite a lot.
I think one of the great things about music is it's like so different. Like it literally is like like painting in a way because there's so many different variations for drums, all the drums, all the drums kind of sound the same a little bit.
(06:55):
But like that in a good way. There's an interesting take. Well, they got they got like they got like variance, but like they have rules. They got structure. You got to follow for drums, right?
Not really. Okay. Well, fuck me then. I have no fucking hate music.
I hate it. I hate it. You know my real music. It's my step music. What's your favorite music, Nuckety? My favorite music would be 90s R&B. Wow. How come?
(07:25):
It just feels good, you know? It's a great feeling. I don't know why I sound like this today. Do I sound weird? No, you sound great. Okay. Just checking.
Like, yeah, actually, let's ask the audience real quick. How does Nuckety sound? I didn't hear anything. Are they even there? Thank you music. Thank you music. You're so good. What's your favorite instrument, Nuckety?
(07:49):
I like the piano just because it's so versatile, you know. Everything can be played through MIDI on a piano. I mean, I know there's MIDI for other instruments, but just this is it seems more universal to put it on a piano.
And what's your favorite note? That would be C, because I'm a basic ass motherfucker. Hey, the beginning and the end. Can't hate that. Love you some C. Thank you music. Thank you music.
(08:16):
Here's a chord for you. Nice. Wow. Wow. That was pretty. Was that good? Yeah. Nice. Thank you.
Well, more questions for you, Nuckety. More questions. What have you been like? I don't know. Like, what's been your take on 2025 so far? So far? Yeah, fast. So fast. Yeah. Yeah. What's it? What is it? Is it fucking what? The 13th? 14th? It's been two weeks? Yeah, we're recording this the 13th. And it's, to me, it feels like it's been slow, to be honest. Really? Like this, this month can hurry up and get going.
(08:53):
January already always feels like way too long for me. You know, what probably is contributing to it is my daughter's birthday is at the end of the month. And I'm kind of poor. So so I've been trying to figure out what to do for her birthday. And time is running out. So it's going fast.
Dang. Oh, and speaking of poor, if you do want to get Nuckety's daughter something nice for her birthday, visit us at linktree.com slash dmgpod. Click the merch link. Buy yourself a definitely not good shirt or definitely not good hat. And you're gonna you're gonna make you're gonna make a girl girl will real happy and a guy happy and another guy happy. Yeah. So thank you. That's what will happen. And yeah, I guess let's go.
(09:38):
I guess let's get started with the show right? Sure. See what we're making today. Yes. All right. Our first wheel is our genre wheel. What are we making? Talking cars. Oh, that's cool. Talking cars. I've never seen that before. Never. Never. Do you remember those? I've never seen that.
(10:05):
Not at all. Actually, actually. Remember those commercials with like the claymation cars? Little Chevron commercials? Yeah, those were those were some pretty pretty cool. Yeah. And cars were a little silly, silly, silly 32nd commercials with a car yelling at a bird for pooping on and that was pretty great. Yeah, yeah.
Good times. And also cars cars. The movie. Oh, and also, um, what's that? What's that other one? Cars two. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Good call out. Yeah. Our next wheel. Our next wheel is setting. Where's this taking place? I wonder where the hell you're sitting at?
(10:45):
An underground civilization. Okay. Underground civilization of cars that talk. That sounds good to me. We really are spinning a wheel today, aren't we? But getting a little mad maxi in here, you know, little mad maxi. Our next wheel is our character. No character job. Yeah.
(11:12):
This, you know, just because the car don't just assume that the job of the character is to be a car. Right, right. No cars. I have to come on. Come on, guys. Have you seen cars? What? Right. Have you seen cars? What about Mater? Mater had a job. Right. Of course. I don't know what it was. But yeah, sure. He did. I think he was just a truck for a living. I think he's the only one of the only characters that was just a car for for the job. He was a tow truck. You know, he had purpose.
(11:41):
He's a tow Mater. What is the job of our main car today? Dude, what's your job? Oh my gosh, I'm spinning. Whoa. Whoa. They're a filmmaker. Yeah. Okay.
Okay. You know, I imagine it's pretty, pretty nice to to make like chase scenes if you're a car. Right. You know, I mean, what else is the movies? But chasing if you're a car, you know, oh man, I'm already getting an idea for monster trucks. But we'll come back to that. Okay.
(12:18):
What is our next wheel? That would be our flaw. All right. Character flaw. Let's spin it. Fatal flaw. Oh my gosh. Whoa. Whoa. Gosh. Whoa. The Decepticons are spinning. They forget people see them. They forget that people see them. Yeah.
People can see them. Yeah, I guess that's a flaw. I guess. I guess they forget that people see them. Do you have like an example of that? Like when when when would that be bad? Like, you know, you picking your nose or touching stuff that you shouldn't be touching.
(12:56):
Have you ever watched someone pick their nose and then make eye contact with them because they forgot that they were existing? Oh, sometimes I do that on purpose. I'll stare at somebody in their car picking their nose and wait for them to notice me.
And then I'll just smile. I just smile. I'll even I'll miss a light doing that. Wow. Yeah. Just to make you feel real intimate. That's real intimate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Look, I'm dead in their soul.
(13:22):
So if you're picking your nose, be on the lookout for Nuckety because he might be staring into your soul judging you. And don't for the love of God, don't eat it. Don't let me get you eating it. Oh, God. Who does that? You know, that's been so weird to me. Like, like, I'm sorry, listener. But if you pick your nose and eat your boogers, please stop. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? What? What? What? What do you just like the taste? I don't understand.
(13:51):
Oh, because don't taste good. Do they? The boogers taste good. Are we missing out? Is that what? Camp Camp. We've we've missed out on boogers this whole time. We just missing out. And boogers is the most delicious thing ever. We just don't know. I'm going to sit that one out. I think I'm gonna sit it out.
But maybe maybe it's a it leads to eternal life or something or like a happier like people are 90 percent of people who pick their boogers and eat it are happier. Right. Enjoy their life. The found more successful careers. The fountain of youth. Yeah.
(14:24):
On the boogers. Our second to last wheel is our what is it? I totally forgot antagonist. Yeah. Who is the bad person of the story? Bad guy. Bad guy.
Fire. Yeah. Yeah. That's that checks out. Call it for like cars. Yeah. So to recap, we have talking cars. Talking cool. In an underground civilization. Our main character, which is a car, is a filmmaker, forgets that people sees him or her car and the antagonist is fire.
(15:09):
Fire. You know, some people would disagree with that. Some people actually think fire is really good. Good thing. Whatever those people you still least you guys are silly. You know that you guys.
Well, first thought for me is monster trucks underground society of monster trucks. Are they all monster trucks or just no. It's a coliseum of monster trucks.
(15:35):
Yeah. So I'm just going to dive right into right into this heap of shit. Okay. So this is narrating. The year is 3289. Humans have been eradicated from the earth. All out war has devastated all organisms and human life on the surface.
(15:59):
But deep deep underground. You know, we like go deep deep deep underground even deeper even deeper car. See like bones cars cars man car society cars society of cars. Yeah. Yeah. I want you to picture.
(16:20):
I want you to picture like, you know, just highways looping like Sonic the Hedgehog style and like underground caverns and like really good lighting really good lanes.
You know, and like stops lots of roundabouts and this is a society of cars without humans and they're thriving and they're happy because cars don't destroy other cars. Right. Okay. Yeah.
(16:50):
And we kind of zoom into like a car school. They just call it and call it the garage. And when I be there at home we have a daily we have a car teacher was with glasses on and a beret pointing to a projector kind of showing the history of humans.
(17:15):
And that's how all the humans got extinct. Essentially they made us but then eventually we made we made ourselves because they couldn't do it anymore because they were kind of kind of hard to do that when you're dead.
You know, any questions because I'll take notes.
One of them raises his wheel and. Yeah, yeah you Brett. What's up.
(17:38):
Teacher. Um, I gotta, I gotta go change my oil. You just finished changing it you have to change the oil again. I gotta change it again because, because I, I, I ran 10,000 miles to the other day.
And it's, you know, this, this residue. And it didn't really burn off all the way. Why don't I tell you about running your engine when you're low. All right, take the hall pass, he passes him a full stop sign with a key on it.
(18:10):
Thanks teacher.
A lot of loud loud horn goes off on the intercom. Oh, that's the bell everyone. We'll see you next time. They all kind of like form into a long line at the door they start driving they honk at each other.
Stop honking. Stop honking. Single file no honking.
(18:45):
Would you play the principal car for us. Principal car. Yeah, can you explain what kind of car it is. Um, principal car is a, a, an Oldsmobile, an all black Oldsmobile with a with a white, white hood.
Principal Oldsmobile. I'll just go principal old. I'll just call you that. How you doing. I tell you I hate kids, but when they grow, and you're responsible for that, I could just turn on my wipers because tears tears are coming, you know, tears are kind of feel a tear coming right now I'm going to hit that wiper real cool.
(19:21):
I feels better.
Yeah, you know like we've had less accidents on the road. The kids are treading a lot less, you know, less litter less less less gas pollution.
A lot of shows I'm making a difference. Right half the students actually switched to electric, if you can believe it, like this is looking pretty good. Wow. Wow. And we got and I'm doubly happy that we eradicated the bird population. Oh, me too. Those birds can can die in a hell of 1000 sons as far as I think car Jesus that there's no more birds.
(19:57):
I think car Jesus.
There is one thing I am trying to work on that documentary I'm hoping I can take a couple days off sir I have this. I have this thing that I've been wanting to check out in the under in the under chambers under chambers Wow, wow, you're being brave this, this semester.
(20:18):
There's talk of a underground society and I, I want to see what's up with that sorry Are you okay with that. Can I take the can I can I do a roundabout on this career and check that out. Yeah, yeah, no, that's fine. Yeah, I'll get a sub in.
When you when you want to leave when like Wednesday.
Oh, right. He does like a full donut in the car in the classroom and like breaks all the chairs.
(20:48):
Okay. All right, calm down. Yeah, sorry I got a little excited there.
I'm just going to scratch the paint man. I guess that means I can leave right. You know what, sure, sure. Just go on. Get out of here. Your little your little scamp, he breaks through the window and go straight onto the highway.
Oh boy I could finally get, I can finally start this filmmaking project I've been wanting to do since I was a freshman and car college, this is going to be so good.
(21:14):
You see kind of like in the inside of the car. There's like little robotic hands that are kind of like putting things together like he's putting like a mini DV tape into a camcorder, and then putting it on the windshield, and he starts recording and he's doing
like a selfie video, he didn't understand they don't really understand the concept of selfies back then, or in the future, whatever, you know like Star Wars.
(21:41):
Hey world. What's up guys it's me, Freddie. I'm going to check out this underground society of cars.
There's, there is. Okay, all right, let me pull over for a moment, he pulls over. There's talk of a secret giant monster car underground, and, and I'm going to record it.
That's going to be really cool.
(22:04):
So this is my first recording okay bye.
How do I, how do I stop record. How do I, you know I'm just going to keep it recording. This is good. This is good. Yeah, I'm just going to keep it running. So some time passes and we cut to him at his house can you explain like what the house, his house looks like
it's a garage. It's just, that's the whole house. They all live in garages. Yeah, it's a, it's a, it's a two car garage but he lives alone. So he has you know he has extra room to stretch his bumper.
(22:38):
Yeah. So he sits on his car couch and stretches his bumper.
And he gets a knock knock knock on the door he opens it, and he finds a letter. Oh, but he can't reach it. I have no idea what that is. He opens his door is it's like an electric door so it's like
(23:04):
real slow. Yeah. Hello.
Hello is anyone there.
Okay, okay. Slowly reverses and the door closes.
That's weird. There's just this.
Just this letter here.
Says, we're watching. Oh, the letter says we're watching your every move. Don't record anything down there. Oh, somebody's watching somebody's watching time to tell everybody calls his best friend.
(23:37):
I'm bullet bullet.
What's up. Hey man. Hey, what's going on. Hey, hey check it out. I am going to be recording the underground chambers and chambers. Yeah, I just got like a death threat that you know they're there.
I think someone's trying to like watch me and it's going to kill me. If I go down there. Whoa, Freddie that's awesome dude that's fucking awesome. Hey, maybe I can roll with you.
(24:06):
Yeah, I mean you do. You do have two flat tires but if you're if you're up for the challenge. Absolutely.
Don't worry about my flats. I'll just take off the rubber and I'll do it on the rims there. Yeah, it only hurts a little bit.
All right honk if you love car Jesus.
Yeah, you know, praise car Jesus. See you there.
(24:30):
So, some time passes you know it's like the it's it's been like a couple hours, and there's this giant lift that goes down to this creaky creaky pit corridor that just descends lower and lower from car society like a car garages, or what are those places called the big garage.
(24:54):
I don't know about that. I got the mall. I think I went to college or something. Yeah, you didn't. Didn't you go to like two colleges.
I went to car college. Oh yeah. Yeah, parking garage. So, bullet. I'm a little I'm not gonna lie I'm a little scared but I'm a little excited at the same time I wonder what's down here. Yeah, me too man it's gonna probably probably something cool.
(25:16):
I haven't had any crack. I got it. I haven't had any. I haven't had any crack for a while. Oh, you like, like some of that human stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, something humans made the stockpiles in his building.
I didn't bring any with me but maybe as soon as he starts to talk. A freaking shuriken like flies into the windshield of bullet. Oh, what the fuck what the is that a what happened to your to your eye. I don't know there's like a thing stuck in my face what what is this thing, like, three more shurikens
(25:50):
I'm gonna say it. Freddie. What the heck is. Is it going on. Are we being attacked by ninjas. Suddenly the lift stops and lights Blair on, and they noticed that they're surrounded, like, by the cliff side, they're not they haven't reached the bottom yet but like, in the darkness are these giant lights.
(26:11):
I say, leave, leave us. Oh boy, scary. Hey guys, my name is Freddie look I'm doing my blinker thing that means I'm friendly.
Another shuriken hits.
I don't care man. Hey, listen, I'm trying I'm a filmmaker I'm trying to make a film leave or you will die.
(26:34):
What is what does die mean. It's like when your battery runs out. Oh, oh okay I'll get like sleepy. Yeah. Actually, boy, I see like a ramp that we could just go.
We're gonna, we're gonna, we're just gonna keep coming down okay no more, no more of those metal things okay. They drive off to the side, and they followed down a corridor into a cave, and all their lights turn off.
(26:59):
What, what have we gotten into. What exactly we gotten into friggin knows, I don't know.
We're gonna take a short break though and get right back to this.
This cruising story cruising us underground.
A US underground, whatever it is. Yeah. Hey, don't go anywhere.
(27:26):
Hey everybody. Um, just quick note. Um, after the after the break CJ's recording kind of got messed up so we, we had to use the zoom recording for the rest of the episode so sorry about the the sound quality of it.
The best we could do with what we had. Anyway, here's the rest of the episode.
Hey, we're back. Hi, and we have another sponsor, what we do. I think so. Is there a wheel that we can spin to find out. Oh yeah sure. Oh sweet. Let's do it.
(27:59):
Corn. This episode is proudly sponsored by corn. You know, I don't think I have enough corn in my diet, because if I did, then I'd be, I'd be, I'd be popping. Whoa, damn CJ three points.
Way to go. Thank you. You know, I use, I use every ounce of brain that I had left for that one. So I hope it was worth it. Yeah, the corn, the corn kid.
(28:24):
I wonder how the corn kids doing. Who's the corn kid, you know, the little black boy that was at like a, like a like a fair or something and they asked him about about corn.
And he's like, I mean, look at this thing. Yeah, I forgot about it.
Yeah, I hope he's doing well too. I don't think he is. I think, I think that that was a
(28:46):
detrimental moment in his life when something happened and made him super famous for a dumbass reason and him and his family didn't know what to do with that.
And now he just has to live with it for the rest of his life. You think he hates corn now? Probably. Yeah. He's probably old enough to be like, man, fuck corn ruined my fucking life. Well, as someone who hasn't became viral from corn, I can safely say I do like corn.
(29:09):
I also like corn. I think it's delicious. Right? Yeah. Right. The only corn I don't like is candy corn. But you're lying. You're lying. You like candy corn. We've been over this. It's okay. It's okay. It's my least favorite corn. No, corn is amazing though.
I think I showed you a documentary a while back where corn is literally everything. Yeah. Yeah.
(29:31):
For the listeners out there, if you don't know corn without corn, we would crumble like corn is everything. Everything needs corn. It's crazy. It's crazy. They without corn society, which is not be anymore.
You know, I was half joking about corn being essential, but I think you're probably right about that one. So thank you, corn. Fucking nuts. Thank you, corn. Corn nuts.
(29:53):
Talking about corn. Oh yeah. Hell yeah. Shout out popcorn. Where we last left off, Freddie, the car filmmaker was going underground with his buddy Bullet to record an underground society that's more underground than the current car society.
But he seems to have had a run in with some monster cars and is trying to figure out, I guess he's just trying to get footage at this point. Like, I don't really know why he's doing this, but he might not survive this. We'll see.
(30:25):
We'll see how strong his filmmaking spirit is. You've seen VHS? The movie? No. VHS is kind of like, it's a bunch of different quick little videos.
It's like a found footage things, but like a bunch of them. Oh, and a lot of them is like a guy going in something to like explore and then something bad happens.
(30:46):
So that's what this reminds me of. Nothing could possibly go wrong, right? Nothing. Right?
Monster trucks don't sound dangerous. No, monster trucks are fine. We like to throw a wrench in our already broken stories, so let's spin that topic wheel for one more horrible thing to add. Okay.
(31:13):
Crosswalk.
Okay. So, you know, they're deep in this cave and they're driving along. They're kind of slowing down a bit because they noticed that there's a stop sign coming up. Oh, hey, look at that.
There's a stop sign down here. What's a stop sign doing down here? That's pretty crazy. I haven't seen one of these in a long time.
(31:39):
I think cars used to have to stop when they saw him. That's silly Frank. Fred. Fred. Freddy. That's silly.
Whatever your name is. Don't be silly. Freddy. Oh, man. Are you leaking again? Are you leaking? No, I'm not leaking, man. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.
Okay. All right. I'm just worried about you, man. You don't have any crack. I was just, you know, I don't have any crack. All right.
(32:04):
I don't have any cocaine. All right. You don't have to yell. Okay. I get it. You don't have crack. Maybe somebody down here has crack though.
Freddy looks around and sees no, like, it's just an empty crosswalk underground. Well, I guess let's just, let's just go. Should we, should we just go? Right? We just go.
I mean, the sign says stop. It doesn't, I don't know when we're supposed to go. What is it? What's the rules?
(32:25):
Suddenly a monster truck appears with a loud whistle and a horn.
Holy cow! What the fuck? Halt! Who goes there?
Uh. Gravedigger.
Uh. Is that your name, Gravedigger?
Yes. That's what it says on my page. I'm Gravedigger.
(32:46):
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!
He speaks in an ancient tongue.
What about Sunday? What is, what?
I don't know, man. I'm just saying things.
I don't understand what this guy's saying, Bullet.
Dude, don't worry about it. I speak monster truck. I took a, I took a class on, on ancient dialects.
(33:10):
By all means, I'm, I'm, I'm going to record it. All right, go for it. Go for it.
Um, hey, hey, dude. Uh, you can buy the whole seat, but you'll only need the hedge.
Tonight, there will be only one survivor. Co-co-co-come down and face me.
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Super Smash.
Only at the Tacoma Dome.
(33:32):
Oh, okay, okay. So he says, so, so, so, so he says we can't go down here because it's sacred ground.
And, um, if we go down there, we'll be, we'll be faced with a fire demon of some kind.
I don't know what he's talking about, man. I asked him if he had crack. He said he didn't know what that was.
This guy's a waste of time.
Oh, dude, that sounds so good. That means it'll be good footage.
(33:56):
He quickly like drives around the monster truck and he starts to find like lights down there and Bullet is following along closely.
Oh, check it out, Bullet. There's like a Coliseum down here.
Whoa, you think they have crack?
Whoa. And just, just like heavy, like just, it's a heavy Coliseum setting with like this loud rock music.
(34:17):
And it's a Coliseum of cars, beat up monster trucks, like totaled cars.
And in the middle are these monster trucks totally going at it, like destroying each other.
And there's an announcer. Oh, yeah. What a sight to see.
And Tombstone is down. Give it up for the winner, Bunnysaw.
(34:40):
Whoa.
Yay!
They're like, this is monstrous. They're killing each other. Bullet, we have to, we have to record this.
This is fucking awesome. I'm so glad we came down here, dude.
And the record scratches.
We have a new contender.
All the monster trucks face their headlights to Freddy and Bullet. Uh oh.
(35:04):
Hey, no, I'm just a spectator. I'm not here to fight or anything.
No, man, I'm a Dodge, dude. I don't need to be involved here.
Everybody, all the monster trucks honk, honk. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.
They all say Sunday.
And they kind of force them into the ring. Like they're constantly butting up against them.
(35:28):
Like the smaller cars are butting up against them.
The wheels are like kind of starting to go on their bumper. They're getting trampled.
Okay.
What the fuck, dude? Come on. Okay, fine.
And then a ring of fire goes along the cage. Oh, crap. Whoa. Okay.
I don't do too well with fire, guys. Yeah, fire is not my friend, man.
(35:49):
Bullet, what do we do? What do we do?
Maybe we should just go really fast. And then when I don't think they can keep up, we can probably go faster than them, right?
And then we can get out and we can find some crack. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What? I don't know. I don't know. No, not the crack. Forget the crack. Okay.
Okay. Everything but the crack. Fine. Whatever.
Bunny saw slowly approaches.
Tonight, you die. You will be crushed. Beneath my wheels.
(36:15):
He said he's going to kill us. That's what he, that's what those words meant.
Yeah, I got that. I got that.
I didn't know you spoke monster truck.
Listen, let me saw it. We're just we're just two normal cars here to record.
I'm not. Three, two, one, five. Oh, oh, crap.
Oh, no. That would be car Jesus.
(36:36):
But he saw is trying to like go after both of them.
And this goes on for a while. They're trying to like swerve and like get out of the way.
Got to go fast, man. I got to go fast, dude.
Unfortunately, they do die.
They die quite, quite horrendously.
He explained how bullet dies.
(36:59):
He, he, he goes, he drives really fast.
He's like, oh, we got to do is go super fast and they won't be able to catch us.
But then he sees like this white gravel off to the side and he's like, whoa, crack.
And he goes towards it, not realizing that it's just regular rocks.
And and and he drives onto it and in it like skids him off and he just slams into a wall
where he gets trampled by all the monster trucks in the gang.
(37:23):
They all come take a piece. Oh, snap.
Yeah, they all come back. It's a real bad.
Well, it's a dead car. Bullet. No, you're holding my camera.
Damn it.
The camera pops out and goes flying over the over the Coliseum and lands in the bed of a monster truck.
Oh, the camera's still there. Camera's still. I just got it.
(37:46):
And he's trying to drive through the gate.
But like there's just the fire is getting to him and he's just he's stuck between the gate opening
and the fire and it's starting to slowly go underneath him with the oil.
Oh, hot, hot, hot. Hey, hey, someone get back here. Kaboom.
And that's the 1000 years later, motorcycles are doing a lecture.
(38:20):
You know, the motorcycles are wearing glasses and they say and they say,
yeah, they don't talk anymore.
They just go as it's as the teacher motorcycle is doing that.
It's pointing to a projector of Freddie and bullet.
(38:42):
You know, the found footage that they that they found years and years later.
And the subtitles, the subtitles that say in this found footage,
we see the ancient car ancestors in their ritualistic fashion contending in a Coliseum,
a battle of a battle to the death.
(39:03):
Absolute barbarians. One of the motorcycles revs.
These subtitles are really helpful because otherwise we wouldn't know what the hell they were saying.
Right. Right. Right.
And then you hear a car crash over the intercom.
And that's that's the bell. They all leave.
The teachers.
(39:28):
The principal motorcycle comes in and says,
I think that's the end. I think that's the end.
The cycle just starts over with the it just starts over again.
(39:49):
You know, like, you know, we could we could we could fill in the blanks with more room.
I think that's kind of that's kind of where we landed on with this story, guys.
So we freaking did it.
Like we told it.
We told her we told a really good car story.
I was as good as the movie cars.
I think it was a little better.
(40:11):
Honestly, yeah, it was a little bit.
We'll ask IMDb later. Yeah, yeah.
But I want to thank my host, me.
And I'd like to thank my producer, Nuckety.
Oh, that's me. I like. Yeah.
And I'd like to thank you for listening.
And I'd also like to apologize to you for listening. Yeah, sorry.
And I'd like you to check out linktree.com slash DNG POD to click the merch link and buy a definitely not good shirt or definitely not good hat.
(40:40):
Yeah, and you'll look and so, you know, do it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Nuckety, where can they find you? They can find me at NUQADY on all the social media is except for TikTok because it's gone.
Rest in peace. Take that piece.
So stupid. So dumb. I don't think I don't think I don't think that we needed to do that.
(41:04):
I don't think so either.
We'll save that for next time, you know, but for now, find us on Clapper until we find the next thing.
Remember not to check out an underground society. Yeah.
It might be filled with monster trucks. Right.
Which could be pretty cool, but then you'll probably die. So yeah, most likely they don't play fair.
That's that's the moral of the story. Also. All right, guys.
(41:26):
Also, don't crack. I don't know. Don't do crack.
I don't know why bullet was so obsessed with crack, man.
He was really wanted to crack. I don't know how he really I don't know how he would ingest crack as a car.
But I'm sure he got away.
That's how. Oh, wow. Yeah. It's an ingenious.
Wow. That's that's it.
(41:50):
And we're sorry. Sorry. And we love you. Love you. Bye. Bye.
Definitely not good.
What up you dingus? This is definitely not good. The podcast where we create stories and they're definitely probably not good.
(00:07):
I'm your host CJ and I'm joined by my producer Nuckety. Hello.
Hey, today it's just us. We asked everybody to be on the show and everybody said no all at once in unison. So it's just us.
Thanks for that guys. I don't know what this is, but it's definitely not good.
(00:45):
Hey, so if it's your first time listening to the show, this is pretty much how everything works. We are amazing storytellers.
And it's our job, our sacred duty to come up with a story completely from scratch with a little twist.
We have a series of wheels we're going to spin, each of them random and probably terrible.
And somehow, some way we have to incorporate it into a story. And that's pretty much what we're doing here today. Ain't that right, Nuckety?
(01:09):
I mean, if you say so. Do you, you know, usually you give a guest a warm up, but today it's just me.
So I'm wondering if you have a warm up for me because I'm feeling like I need it.
I didn't, but let me try to think of one real quick. Yeah, yeah. Take as long as you need. People, you know, people, the longer it is, the better, you know, the longer, the better.
(01:32):
But yeah, the more you think the longer the dead air, the more money we make, actually. So just keep thinking.
As long as that's how it works. Do do do do do do do do do. Oh, that's a banger right there. Do you just make that up? Yeah, yeah.
It was just, you know, popping around. Damn. All right. OK. OK. In your best Deku, can you please tell me what animes you're looking forward to this year?
(02:04):
Oh, gosh. Well, can't go wrong with all my, you know, my hero academia. But I've really been into what's that called? Jujutsu Kaisen. Oh, my God. It's crazy. I love I love anime.
You're going to cry about it. I love anime more than anybody. That's my best Deku. That's really good. That was really good. Thank you. Thank you. You know, I was a good warm up.
(02:36):
Have you seen those memes of people pretending to be Deku? No. With the voice. You haven't? No, no. Oh, man.
If if you're listening and you're you're an anime fan or even if you're not, look it up on YouTube, people doing impressions of Deku.
And it's just it's just funny. It's it's like a preteen like, oh, I'm I'm an anime boy. Don't make me cry. I'll cry if you make me cry.
(03:04):
You know, it's true because he will fucking cry. He will cry.
He'll be getting the shit beat out of him and he'll cry about it. Yeah, he'll cry or he'll be beating the shit out of somebody and then he'll cry.
Because he'll fucking cry, baby. Yeah. The most crybaby ass hero I've ever seen. If I'm being honest, I couldn't get into the show.
(03:25):
I really tried. That's why. It's a really good show. You like the show? I love that show. This is great. I liked All Might.
And then they like all the alert kind of did some stuff with him that weren't ideal. But yeah, it's all right. It's all right.
What what have you been eating lately? What you been putting in your stomach?
My wife's job center, the an assortment of treats, just random snacks that I don't know even where to buy on a regular day.
(03:56):
And I've been eating. Talk about perks. Yeah, yeah. She didn't eat any of them. She gave them all to me, which I, you know, that's fine.
I'll eat them. I'll eat snacks. But today she gave me some chocolate covered almonds. Okay. I wouldn't hate that.
Yeah, that's pretty good. I wouldn't hate that. I like those. What's it? What's it like being in your 30s?
(04:19):
Oof. I couldn't tell you because I'm only 19, you know. Oh, man. I asked the wrong guy. Yeah. Yeah.
What do you mean? What do you mean? Old man, dude. What's it? What's it like being 19? I'm a whippersnapper.
You know, you know, just I hurt my ankle on my skateboard the other day. And but now it feels fine because I'm 19 and the pain doesn't last very long.
(04:44):
And when I sleep, I sleep for so long. Skibbity. Oh, that's great. Yeah. I miss that. Yeah. Oh, God. Oh, boy.
Oh, I can sleep for longer than three hours at a time. Even if that's what you want to know about. I forgot what that's like.
Yeah. You know, this morning I had to wake up at seven. So I set my alarm for six a.m.
Yeah. And I I set it for six a.m. so I could be ready. Right.
(05:07):
So then I was like, hey, I'm going to put a 30 minute alarm on like a snooze, you know. Uh huh. So I put on a snooze for 30 minutes, close my eyes and I swear like 30 seconds later that alarm went off.
Oh, yeah. No, like time goes. Time never goes faster than when you're trying to get back to sleep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, like I blew my mind because when I was awake, I set a 15 minute alarm to just lay in bed.
(05:31):
And that was taking forever. Hasn't been 15 minutes yet. What happens? Anyways, we don't have a sponsor today, but we do have a very special sponsor that is not real and actually fake.
So I'm going to give it up to Nuckety to spin that epic wheel. OK. By all means, please go for it. That means by all.
(06:00):
Today's episode is brought to you by music. This episode is proudly sponsored by music.
Music. Nice. Play that funky jam. You know, I have a hot take here. Where'd you get this?
Hot take. I like music. You do? I think music's pretty good. What a wheel. I don't know. Sometimes I hear something that sounds good and I want to snap my fingers, tap my toe. I just can't help it.
(06:25):
It's so good. That's very interesting. I never heard of anybody. Have you seen a doctor about that? No, no, no. I hate doctors and music. I'm pretty concerned, man.
Yeah. Well, I don't. Sorry. I don't hate music. I love it quite a lot.
I think one of the great things about music is it's like so different. Like it literally is like like painting in a way because there's so many different variations for drums, all the drums, all the drums kind of sound the same a little bit.
(06:55):
But like that in a good way. There's an interesting take. Well, they got they got like they got like variance, but like they have rules. They got structure. You got to follow for drums, right?
Not really. Okay. Well, fuck me then. I have no fucking hate music.
I hate it. I hate it. You know my real music. It's my step music. What's your favorite music, Nuckety? My favorite music would be 90s R&B. Wow. How come?
(07:25):
It just feels good, you know? It's a great feeling. I don't know why I sound like this today. Do I sound weird? No, you sound great. Okay. Just checking.
Like, yeah, actually, let's ask the audience real quick. How does Nuckety sound? I didn't hear anything. Are they even there? Thank you music. Thank you music. You're so good. What's your favorite instrument, Nuckety?
(07:49):
I like the piano just because it's so versatile, you know. Everything can be played through MIDI on a piano. I mean, I know there's MIDI for other instruments, but just this is it seems more universal to put it on a piano.
And what's your favorite note? That would be C, because I'm a basic ass motherfucker. Hey, the beginning and the end. Can't hate that. Love you some C. Thank you music. Thank you music.
(08:16):
Here's a chord for you. Nice. Wow. Wow. That was pretty. Was that good? Yeah. Nice. Thank you.
Well, more questions for you, Nuckety. More questions. What have you been like? I don't know. Like, what's been your take on 2025 so far? So far? Yeah, fast. So fast. Yeah. Yeah. What's it? What is it? Is it fucking what? The 13th? 14th? It's been two weeks? Yeah, we're recording this the 13th. And it's, to me, it feels like it's been slow, to be honest. Really? Like this, this month can hurry up and get going.
(08:53):
January already always feels like way too long for me. You know, what probably is contributing to it is my daughter's birthday is at the end of the month. And I'm kind of poor. So so I've been trying to figure out what to do for her birthday. And time is running out. So it's going fast.
Dang. Oh, and speaking of poor, if you do want to get Nuckety's daughter something nice for her birthday, visit us at linktree.com slash dmgpod. Click the merch link. Buy yourself a definitely not good shirt or definitely not good hat. And you're gonna you're gonna make you're gonna make a girl girl will real happy and a guy happy and another guy happy. Yeah. So thank you. That's what will happen. And yeah, I guess let's go.
(09:38):
I guess let's get started with the show right? Sure. See what we're making today. Yes. All right. Our first wheel is our genre wheel. What are we making? Talking cars. Oh, that's cool. Talking cars. I've never seen that before. Never. Never. Do you remember those? I've never seen that.
(10:05):
Not at all. Actually, actually. Remember those commercials with like the claymation cars? Little Chevron commercials? Yeah, those were those were some pretty pretty cool. Yeah. And cars were a little silly, silly, silly 32nd commercials with a car yelling at a bird for pooping on and that was pretty great. Yeah, yeah.
Good times. And also cars cars. The movie. Oh, and also, um, what's that? What's that other one? Cars two. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Good call out. Yeah. Our next wheel. Our next wheel is setting. Where's this taking place? I wonder where the hell you're sitting at?
(10:45):
An underground civilization. Okay. Underground civilization of cars that talk. That sounds good to me. We really are spinning a wheel today, aren't we? But getting a little mad maxi in here, you know, little mad maxi. Our next wheel is our character. No character job. Yeah.
(11:12):
This, you know, just because the car don't just assume that the job of the character is to be a car. Right, right. No cars. I have to come on. Come on, guys. Have you seen cars? What? Right. Have you seen cars? What about Mater? Mater had a job. Right. Of course. I don't know what it was. But yeah, sure. He did. I think he was just a truck for a living. I think he's the only one of the only characters that was just a car for for the job. He was a tow truck. You know, he had purpose.
(11:41):
He's a tow Mater. What is the job of our main car today? Dude, what's your job? Oh my gosh, I'm spinning. Whoa. Whoa. They're a filmmaker. Yeah. Okay.
Okay. You know, I imagine it's pretty, pretty nice to to make like chase scenes if you're a car. Right. You know, I mean, what else is the movies? But chasing if you're a car, you know, oh man, I'm already getting an idea for monster trucks. But we'll come back to that. Okay.
(12:18):
What is our next wheel? That would be our flaw. All right. Character flaw. Let's spin it. Fatal flaw. Oh my gosh. Whoa. Whoa. Gosh. Whoa. The Decepticons are spinning. They forget people see them. They forget that people see them. Yeah.
People can see them. Yeah, I guess that's a flaw. I guess. I guess they forget that people see them. Do you have like an example of that? Like when when when would that be bad? Like, you know, you picking your nose or touching stuff that you shouldn't be touching.
(12:56):
Have you ever watched someone pick their nose and then make eye contact with them because they forgot that they were existing? Oh, sometimes I do that on purpose. I'll stare at somebody in their car picking their nose and wait for them to notice me.
And then I'll just smile. I just smile. I'll even I'll miss a light doing that. Wow. Yeah. Just to make you feel real intimate. That's real intimate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Look, I'm dead in their soul.
(13:22):
So if you're picking your nose, be on the lookout for Nuckety because he might be staring into your soul judging you. And don't for the love of God, don't eat it. Don't let me get you eating it. Oh, God. Who does that? You know, that's been so weird to me. Like, like, I'm sorry, listener. But if you pick your nose and eat your boogers, please stop. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? What? What? What? What do you just like the taste? I don't understand.
(13:51):
Oh, because don't taste good. Do they? The boogers taste good. Are we missing out? Is that what? Camp Camp. We've we've missed out on boogers this whole time. We just missing out. And boogers is the most delicious thing ever. We just don't know. I'm going to sit that one out. I think I'm gonna sit it out.
But maybe maybe it's a it leads to eternal life or something or like a happier like people are 90 percent of people who pick their boogers and eat it are happier. Right. Enjoy their life. The found more successful careers. The fountain of youth. Yeah.
(14:24):
On the boogers. Our second to last wheel is our what is it? I totally forgot antagonist. Yeah. Who is the bad person of the story? Bad guy. Bad guy.
Fire. Yeah. Yeah. That's that checks out. Call it for like cars. Yeah. So to recap, we have talking cars. Talking cool. In an underground civilization. Our main character, which is a car, is a filmmaker, forgets that people sees him or her car and the antagonist is fire.
(15:09):
Fire. You know, some people would disagree with that. Some people actually think fire is really good. Good thing. Whatever those people you still least you guys are silly. You know that you guys.
Well, first thought for me is monster trucks underground society of monster trucks. Are they all monster trucks or just no. It's a coliseum of monster trucks.
(15:35):
Yeah. So I'm just going to dive right into right into this heap of shit. Okay. So this is narrating. The year is 3289. Humans have been eradicated from the earth. All out war has devastated all organisms and human life on the surface.
(15:59):
But deep deep underground. You know, we like go deep deep deep underground even deeper even deeper car. See like bones cars cars man car society cars society of cars. Yeah. Yeah. I want you to picture.
(16:20):
I want you to picture like, you know, just highways looping like Sonic the Hedgehog style and like underground caverns and like really good lighting really good lanes.
You know, and like stops lots of roundabouts and this is a society of cars without humans and they're thriving and they're happy because cars don't destroy other cars. Right. Okay. Yeah.
(16:50):
And we kind of zoom into like a car school. They just call it and call it the garage. And when I be there at home we have a daily we have a car teacher was with glasses on and a beret pointing to a projector kind of showing the history of humans.
(17:15):
And that's how all the humans got extinct. Essentially they made us but then eventually we made we made ourselves because they couldn't do it anymore because they were kind of kind of hard to do that when you're dead.
You know, any questions because I'll take notes.
One of them raises his wheel and. Yeah, yeah you Brett. What's up.
(17:38):
Teacher. Um, I gotta, I gotta go change my oil. You just finished changing it you have to change the oil again. I gotta change it again because, because I, I, I ran 10,000 miles to the other day.
And it's, you know, this, this residue. And it didn't really burn off all the way. Why don't I tell you about running your engine when you're low. All right, take the hall pass, he passes him a full stop sign with a key on it.
(18:10):
Thanks teacher.
A lot of loud loud horn goes off on the intercom. Oh, that's the bell everyone. We'll see you next time. They all kind of like form into a long line at the door they start driving they honk at each other.
Stop honking. Stop honking. Single file no honking.
(18:45):
Would you play the principal car for us. Principal car. Yeah, can you explain what kind of car it is. Um, principal car is a, a, an Oldsmobile, an all black Oldsmobile with a with a white, white hood.
Principal Oldsmobile. I'll just go principal old. I'll just call you that. How you doing. I tell you I hate kids, but when they grow, and you're responsible for that, I could just turn on my wipers because tears tears are coming, you know, tears are kind of feel a tear coming right now I'm going to hit that wiper real cool.
(19:21):
I feels better.
Yeah, you know like we've had less accidents on the road. The kids are treading a lot less, you know, less litter less less less gas pollution.
A lot of shows I'm making a difference. Right half the students actually switched to electric, if you can believe it, like this is looking pretty good. Wow. Wow. And we got and I'm doubly happy that we eradicated the bird population. Oh, me too. Those birds can can die in a hell of 1000 sons as far as I think car Jesus that there's no more birds.
(19:57):
I think car Jesus.
There is one thing I am trying to work on that documentary I'm hoping I can take a couple days off sir I have this. I have this thing that I've been wanting to check out in the under in the under chambers under chambers Wow, wow, you're being brave this, this semester.
(20:18):
There's talk of a underground society and I, I want to see what's up with that sorry Are you okay with that. Can I take the can I can I do a roundabout on this career and check that out. Yeah, yeah, no, that's fine. Yeah, I'll get a sub in.
When you when you want to leave when like Wednesday.
Oh, right. He does like a full donut in the car in the classroom and like breaks all the chairs.
(20:48):
Okay. All right, calm down. Yeah, sorry I got a little excited there.
I'm just going to scratch the paint man. I guess that means I can leave right. You know what, sure, sure. Just go on. Get out of here. Your little your little scamp, he breaks through the window and go straight onto the highway.
Oh boy I could finally get, I can finally start this filmmaking project I've been wanting to do since I was a freshman and car college, this is going to be so good.
(21:14):
You see kind of like in the inside of the car. There's like little robotic hands that are kind of like putting things together like he's putting like a mini DV tape into a camcorder, and then putting it on the windshield, and he starts recording and he's doing
like a selfie video, he didn't understand they don't really understand the concept of selfies back then, or in the future, whatever, you know like Star Wars.
(21:41):
Hey world. What's up guys it's me, Freddie. I'm going to check out this underground society of cars.
There's, there is. Okay, all right, let me pull over for a moment, he pulls over. There's talk of a secret giant monster car underground, and, and I'm going to record it.
That's going to be really cool.
(22:04):
So this is my first recording okay bye.
How do I, how do I stop record. How do I, you know I'm just going to keep it recording. This is good. This is good. Yeah, I'm just going to keep it running. So some time passes and we cut to him at his house can you explain like what the house, his house looks like
it's a garage. It's just, that's the whole house. They all live in garages. Yeah, it's a, it's a, it's a two car garage but he lives alone. So he has you know he has extra room to stretch his bumper.
(22:38):
Yeah. So he sits on his car couch and stretches his bumper.
And he gets a knock knock knock on the door he opens it, and he finds a letter. Oh, but he can't reach it. I have no idea what that is. He opens his door is it's like an electric door so it's like
(23:04):
real slow. Yeah. Hello.
Hello is anyone there.
Okay, okay. Slowly reverses and the door closes.
That's weird. There's just this.
Just this letter here.
Says, we're watching. Oh, the letter says we're watching your every move. Don't record anything down there. Oh, somebody's watching somebody's watching time to tell everybody calls his best friend.
(23:37):
I'm bullet bullet.
What's up. Hey man. Hey, what's going on. Hey, hey check it out. I am going to be recording the underground chambers and chambers. Yeah, I just got like a death threat that you know they're there.
I think someone's trying to like watch me and it's going to kill me. If I go down there. Whoa, Freddie that's awesome dude that's fucking awesome. Hey, maybe I can roll with you.
(24:06):
Yeah, I mean you do. You do have two flat tires but if you're if you're up for the challenge. Absolutely.
Don't worry about my flats. I'll just take off the rubber and I'll do it on the rims there. Yeah, it only hurts a little bit.
All right honk if you love car Jesus.
Yeah, you know, praise car Jesus. See you there.
(24:30):
So, some time passes you know it's like the it's it's been like a couple hours, and there's this giant lift that goes down to this creaky creaky pit corridor that just descends lower and lower from car society like a car garages, or what are those places called the big garage.
(24:54):
I don't know about that. I got the mall. I think I went to college or something. Yeah, you didn't. Didn't you go to like two colleges.
I went to car college. Oh yeah. Yeah, parking garage. So, bullet. I'm a little I'm not gonna lie I'm a little scared but I'm a little excited at the same time I wonder what's down here. Yeah, me too man it's gonna probably probably something cool.
(25:16):
I haven't had any crack. I got it. I haven't had any. I haven't had any crack for a while. Oh, you like, like some of that human stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, something humans made the stockpiles in his building.
I didn't bring any with me but maybe as soon as he starts to talk. A freaking shuriken like flies into the windshield of bullet. Oh, what the fuck what the is that a what happened to your to your eye. I don't know there's like a thing stuck in my face what what is this thing, like, three more shurikens
(25:50):
I'm gonna say it. Freddie. What the heck is. Is it going on. Are we being attacked by ninjas. Suddenly the lift stops and lights Blair on, and they noticed that they're surrounded, like, by the cliff side, they're not they haven't reached the bottom yet but like, in the darkness are these giant lights.
(26:11):
I say, leave, leave us. Oh boy, scary. Hey guys, my name is Freddie look I'm doing my blinker thing that means I'm friendly.
Another shuriken hits.
I don't care man. Hey, listen, I'm trying I'm a filmmaker I'm trying to make a film leave or you will die.
(26:34):
What is what does die mean. It's like when your battery runs out. Oh, oh okay I'll get like sleepy. Yeah. Actually, boy, I see like a ramp that we could just go.
We're gonna, we're gonna, we're just gonna keep coming down okay no more, no more of those metal things okay. They drive off to the side, and they followed down a corridor into a cave, and all their lights turn off.
(26:59):
What, what have we gotten into. What exactly we gotten into friggin knows, I don't know.
We're gonna take a short break though and get right back to this.
This cruising story cruising us underground.
A US underground, whatever it is. Yeah. Hey, don't go anywhere.
(27:26):
Hey everybody. Um, just quick note. Um, after the after the break CJ's recording kind of got messed up so we, we had to use the zoom recording for the rest of the episode so sorry about the the sound quality of it.
The best we could do with what we had. Anyway, here's the rest of the episode.
Hey, we're back. Hi, and we have another sponsor, what we do. I think so. Is there a wheel that we can spin to find out. Oh yeah sure. Oh sweet. Let's do it.
(27:59):
Corn. This episode is proudly sponsored by corn. You know, I don't think I have enough corn in my diet, because if I did, then I'd be, I'd be, I'd be popping. Whoa, damn CJ three points.
Way to go. Thank you. You know, I use, I use every ounce of brain that I had left for that one. So I hope it was worth it. Yeah, the corn, the corn kid.
(28:24):
I wonder how the corn kids doing. Who's the corn kid, you know, the little black boy that was at like a, like a like a fair or something and they asked him about about corn.
And he's like, I mean, look at this thing. Yeah, I forgot about it.
Yeah, I hope he's doing well too. I don't think he is. I think, I think that that was a
(28:46):
detrimental moment in his life when something happened and made him super famous for a dumbass reason and him and his family didn't know what to do with that.
And now he just has to live with it for the rest of his life. You think he hates corn now? Probably. Yeah. He's probably old enough to be like, man, fuck corn ruined my fucking life. Well, as someone who hasn't became viral from corn, I can safely say I do like corn.
(29:09):
I also like corn. I think it's delicious. Right? Yeah. Right. The only corn I don't like is candy corn. But you're lying. You're lying. You like candy corn. We've been over this. It's okay. It's okay. It's my least favorite corn. No, corn is amazing though.
I think I showed you a documentary a while back where corn is literally everything. Yeah. Yeah.
(29:31):
For the listeners out there, if you don't know corn without corn, we would crumble like corn is everything. Everything needs corn. It's crazy. It's crazy. They without corn society, which is not be anymore.
You know, I was half joking about corn being essential, but I think you're probably right about that one. So thank you, corn. Fucking nuts. Thank you, corn. Corn nuts.
(29:53):
Talking about corn. Oh yeah. Hell yeah. Shout out popcorn. Where we last left off, Freddie, the car filmmaker was going underground with his buddy Bullet to record an underground society that's more underground than the current car society.
But he seems to have had a run in with some monster cars and is trying to figure out, I guess he's just trying to get footage at this point. Like, I don't really know why he's doing this, but he might not survive this. We'll see.
(30:25):
We'll see how strong his filmmaking spirit is. You've seen VHS? The movie? No. VHS is kind of like, it's a bunch of different quick little videos.
It's like a found footage things, but like a bunch of them. Oh, and a lot of them is like a guy going in something to like explore and then something bad happens.
(30:46):
So that's what this reminds me of. Nothing could possibly go wrong, right? Nothing. Right?
Monster trucks don't sound dangerous. No, monster trucks are fine. We like to throw a wrench in our already broken stories, so let's spin that topic wheel for one more horrible thing to add. Okay.
(31:13):
Crosswalk.
Okay. So, you know, they're deep in this cave and they're driving along. They're kind of slowing down a bit because they noticed that there's a stop sign coming up. Oh, hey, look at that.
There's a stop sign down here. What's a stop sign doing down here? That's pretty crazy. I haven't seen one of these in a long time.
(31:39):
I think cars used to have to stop when they saw him. That's silly Frank. Fred. Fred. Freddy. That's silly.
Whatever your name is. Don't be silly. Freddy. Oh, man. Are you leaking again? Are you leaking? No, I'm not leaking, man. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.
Okay. All right. I'm just worried about you, man. You don't have any crack. I was just, you know, I don't have any crack. All right.
(32:04):
I don't have any cocaine. All right. You don't have to yell. Okay. I get it. You don't have crack. Maybe somebody down here has crack though.
Freddy looks around and sees no, like, it's just an empty crosswalk underground. Well, I guess let's just, let's just go. Should we, should we just go? Right? We just go.
I mean, the sign says stop. It doesn't, I don't know when we're supposed to go. What is it? What's the rules?
(32:25):
Suddenly a monster truck appears with a loud whistle and a horn.
Holy cow! What the fuck? Halt! Who goes there?
Uh. Gravedigger.
Uh. Is that your name, Gravedigger?
Yes. That's what it says on my page. I'm Gravedigger.
(32:46):
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!
He speaks in an ancient tongue.
What about Sunday? What is, what?
I don't know, man. I'm just saying things.
I don't understand what this guy's saying, Bullet.
Dude, don't worry about it. I speak monster truck. I took a, I took a class on, on ancient dialects.
(33:10):
By all means, I'm, I'm, I'm going to record it. All right, go for it. Go for it.
Um, hey, hey, dude. Uh, you can buy the whole seat, but you'll only need the hedge.
Tonight, there will be only one survivor. Co-co-co-come down and face me.
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Super Smash.
Only at the Tacoma Dome.
(33:32):
Oh, okay, okay. So he says, so, so, so, so he says we can't go down here because it's sacred ground.
And, um, if we go down there, we'll be, we'll be faced with a fire demon of some kind.
I don't know what he's talking about, man. I asked him if he had crack. He said he didn't know what that was.
This guy's a waste of time.
Oh, dude, that sounds so good. That means it'll be good footage.
(33:56):
He quickly like drives around the monster truck and he starts to find like lights down there and Bullet is following along closely.
Oh, check it out, Bullet. There's like a Coliseum down here.
Whoa, you think they have crack?
Whoa. And just, just like heavy, like just, it's a heavy Coliseum setting with like this loud rock music.
(34:17):
And it's a Coliseum of cars, beat up monster trucks, like totaled cars.
And in the middle are these monster trucks totally going at it, like destroying each other.
And there's an announcer. Oh, yeah. What a sight to see.
And Tombstone is down. Give it up for the winner, Bunnysaw.
(34:40):
Whoa.
Yay!
They're like, this is monstrous. They're killing each other. Bullet, we have to, we have to record this.
This is fucking awesome. I'm so glad we came down here, dude.
And the record scratches.
We have a new contender.
All the monster trucks face their headlights to Freddy and Bullet. Uh oh.
(35:04):
Hey, no, I'm just a spectator. I'm not here to fight or anything.
No, man, I'm a Dodge, dude. I don't need to be involved here.
Everybody, all the monster trucks honk, honk. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.
They all say Sunday.
And they kind of force them into the ring. Like they're constantly butting up against them.
(35:28):
Like the smaller cars are butting up against them.
The wheels are like kind of starting to go on their bumper. They're getting trampled.
Okay.
What the fuck, dude? Come on. Okay, fine.
And then a ring of fire goes along the cage. Oh, crap. Whoa. Okay.
I don't do too well with fire, guys. Yeah, fire is not my friend, man.
(35:49):
Bullet, what do we do? What do we do?
Maybe we should just go really fast. And then when I don't think they can keep up, we can probably go faster than them, right?
And then we can get out and we can find some crack. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What? I don't know. I don't know. No, not the crack. Forget the crack. Okay.
Okay. Everything but the crack. Fine. Whatever.
Bunny saw slowly approaches.
Tonight, you die. You will be crushed. Beneath my wheels.
(36:15):
He said he's going to kill us. That's what he, that's what those words meant.
Yeah, I got that. I got that.
I didn't know you spoke monster truck.
Listen, let me saw it. We're just we're just two normal cars here to record.
I'm not. Three, two, one, five. Oh, oh, crap.
Oh, no. That would be car Jesus.
(36:36):
But he saw is trying to like go after both of them.
And this goes on for a while. They're trying to like swerve and like get out of the way.
Got to go fast, man. I got to go fast, dude.
Unfortunately, they do die.
They die quite, quite horrendously.
He explained how bullet dies.
(36:59):
He, he, he goes, he drives really fast.
He's like, oh, we got to do is go super fast and they won't be able to catch us.
But then he sees like this white gravel off to the side and he's like, whoa, crack.
And he goes towards it, not realizing that it's just regular rocks.
And and and he drives onto it and in it like skids him off and he just slams into a wall
where he gets trampled by all the monster trucks in the gang.
(37:23):
They all come take a piece. Oh, snap.
Yeah, they all come back. It's a real bad.
Well, it's a dead car. Bullet. No, you're holding my camera.
Damn it.
The camera pops out and goes flying over the over the Coliseum and lands in the bed of a monster truck.
Oh, the camera's still there. Camera's still. I just got it.
(37:46):
And he's trying to drive through the gate.
But like there's just the fire is getting to him and he's just he's stuck between the gate opening
and the fire and it's starting to slowly go underneath him with the oil.
Oh, hot, hot, hot. Hey, hey, someone get back here. Kaboom.
And that's the 1000 years later, motorcycles are doing a lecture.
(38:20):
You know, the motorcycles are wearing glasses and they say and they say,
yeah, they don't talk anymore.
They just go as it's as the teacher motorcycle is doing that.
It's pointing to a projector of Freddie and bullet.
(38:42):
You know, the found footage that they that they found years and years later.
And the subtitles, the subtitles that say in this found footage,
we see the ancient car ancestors in their ritualistic fashion contending in a Coliseum,
a battle of a battle to the death.
(39:03):
Absolute barbarians. One of the motorcycles revs.
These subtitles are really helpful because otherwise we wouldn't know what the hell they were saying.
Right. Right. Right.
And then you hear a car crash over the intercom.
And that's that's the bell. They all leave.
The teachers.
(39:28):
The principal motorcycle comes in and says,
I think that's the end. I think that's the end.
The cycle just starts over with the it just starts over again.
(39:49):
You know, like, you know, we could we could we could fill in the blanks with more room.
I think that's kind of that's kind of where we landed on with this story, guys.
So we freaking did it.
Like we told it.
We told her we told a really good car story.
I was as good as the movie cars.
I think it was a little better.
(40:11):
Honestly, yeah, it was a little bit.
We'll ask IMDb later. Yeah, yeah.
But I want to thank my host, me.
And I'd like to thank my producer, Nuckety.
Oh, that's me. I like. Yeah.
And I'd like to thank you for listening.
And I'd also like to apologize to you for listening. Yeah, sorry.
And I'd like you to check out linktree.com slash DNG POD to click the merch link and buy a definitely not good shirt or definitely not good hat.
(40:40):
Yeah, and you'll look and so, you know, do it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Nuckety, where can they find you? They can find me at NUQADY on all the social media is except for TikTok because it's gone.
Rest in peace. Take that piece.
So stupid. So dumb. I don't think I don't think I don't think that we needed to do that.
(41:04):
I don't think so either.
We'll save that for next time, you know, but for now, find us on Clapper until we find the next thing.
Remember not to check out an underground society. Yeah.
It might be filled with monster trucks. Right.
Which could be pretty cool, but then you'll probably die. So yeah, most likely they don't play fair.
That's that's the moral of the story. Also. All right, guys.
(41:26):
Also, don't crack. I don't know. Don't do crack.
I don't know why bullet was so obsessed with crack, man.
He was really wanted to crack. I don't know how he really I don't know how he would ingest crack as a car.
But I'm sure he got away.
That's how. Oh, wow. Yeah. It's an ingenious.
Wow. That's that's it.
(41:50):
And we're sorry. Sorry. And we love you. Love you. Bye. Bye.
Definitely not good.
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