When I interviewed Victoria back in March, she was still single. Since that time, Victoria has met someone and says she is very much in love. She also knows she can change her mind at any given moment as she continues to follow her guidance and trust her intuition.
Whether you’re interested in dating or not, you’ll get a lot out of today’s discussion with Victoria-Monique Balmatie Jagroe. Victoria is a spiritual student and teacher, a YouTube personality, a Transformational coach, athlete and creator of a vegan lipstick.
In this interview, Victoria candidly shares her journey of overcoming a heart-wrenching breakup, her insights on using Neville Goddard's teachings, and her experiences in dating and self-love. We explore the importance of focusing on oneself, releasing resistance, and having fun in life and during the dating process.
We also discuss practical tips for attracting a romantic partner and the importance of following one's intuition. I share a lot too, including my many years of navigating the dating arena as a single mom before marrying my husband 20 years ago.
Connect with Victoria-Monique Balmatie Jagroe
https://www.youtube.com/@Victoria-Monique
https://moniquebjagroe.com/hello-freedom/
https://www.instagram.com/victoria_moniquebjagroe/
https://www.instagram.com/fralippolippie
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I wasn't doing all of that.
I was just busy with thingsthat are not part of something
that fulfills me deeply and allof this really fulfills me, I
guess.
Yeah, I'm a part of changingthe dating scene, because that's
one of my missions, of thatpeople, that we will all start
(00:23):
to take responsibility forourselves and, of course, you
can f up, we're still human butthat we go within and keep
returning within and thenbecoming so much more together.
And when we create that, allwith each other, love is one of
the things that we came here forright love, sex, food that's
(00:44):
why we have a body but not tohave these blame, shame, guilt,
I'm not good enough because I'mnot 20 anymore and my bum is not
as tight, and blah, blah, blah.
It's none of that.
It's all being the beacon oflight by loving ourselves as
(01:08):
hard as we can.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Welcome to the Delicious Alignment and the Art
of Abundance podcast.
We cover topics related tohealth, wealth and happiness
from a spiritual andmetaphysical point of view.
I'm your host, author andintuitive coach, rhonda Ryder.
So, whether you're interestedin dating or not, I think you're
(01:33):
going to love today'sdiscussion with Victoria Monique
Balmati-Jugru.
Hope I got your name right,victoria.
So yeah, because Victoria isfantastic and we're talking
about all kinds of things,spiritual and metaphysical, and
as it relates to non-attachment,and specifically here we're
talking about dating.
Victoria is a YouTubepersonality, a transformational
(01:59):
coach, an athlete and a creatorof a vegan lipstick.
Yes, she is multifaceted andpretty amazing.
In this interview, victoriacandidly shares her journey of
overcoming a heart-wrenchingbreakup Most of us have been
there Her insights on usingNeville Goddard's teachings and
(02:22):
her experiences in dating andself-love.
We explore the importance offocusing on oneself, releasing
resistance and having fun whilebeing single and while dating
and while being married.
We also talk about practicaltips for attracting a romantic
partner and the importance offollowing your intuition.
(02:43):
I share a lot, too, includingmy 11 years of navigating the
dating arena as a single mombefore marrying my husband.
Let me see, 20 years ago now.
Yes, 20 years ago.
So I also want to say when Iinterviewed Victoria this
(03:04):
interview took place back inMarch for this podcast she was
still single, but since thattime I checked in with her and
she has met someone and says sheis very much in love.
She also knows she can changeher mind at any given moment as
she continues to follow herguidance and trust her intuition
(03:26):
.
So, without further ado, Ican't wait to introduce you to
Victoria.
Let's get started.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Hi Victoria, hey Rhonda.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
So great to chat with you today about this delicious
topic chat with you today aboutthis delicious topic.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, I'm super happy to be here.
You know that I've been a fanof yours for a while, so it's
really cool that now I'm beinginterviewed on one of my
favorite shows.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Oh, thank you, Wow, thank you so much and I know you
have your own YouTube channeland we'll get into all that.
Let people know all about thestuff you have going on.
But first we want to chat aboutdating.
Dating and law of attractionmetaphysical world that you and
(04:18):
I live in a lot of my listenersand your listeners it's a whole
different ballgame and, like Ishared with you before, I will
live vicariously through youbecause I'm married and I am no
longer dating.
But I have lots of stories andnot that I'm going to get into
them today.
We'll see what happens.
But I love this topic because Iremember when I was in the
(04:43):
dating arena and really usingthese principles for that as
well creating what you want andattracting and allowing what you
want and all that kind of stuff.
So I know that you're the onethat came up with this topic.
So where would you like tostart?
What would you like to shareabout it?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
I'm going to give you the short version.
When everything clickedtogether for me, that was pretty
recently and because of a veryheart-wrenching breakup which
happened a couple of years agoin Berlin, I literally thought I
don't want to live anymore,because I don't want to live
anymore, because I don't want tolive because it was so painful,
(05:29):
rhonda, and I remember therewas a point in the day that I
felt so low that I felt like mysoul was going to leave my body
literally.
And I know that we can choosewhen we step out or when we stay
, and I really I didn can choosewhen we step out or when we
stay, and I really I didn't carewhat would happen.
(05:49):
So what happened?
That evening?
When I turned off my phone, Imanaged to get myself to a yoga
class on this particular day.
So it was already.
We had broken up.
I had gotten into the teachingsof Neville Goddard to get this
guy back, only for that, fornothing else.
Little did I know that was mypath to get deeper into these
(06:13):
kinds of teachings.
Anyway, I had wished forsomething that had happened the
night that I turned off my phone.
So I turned on my phone thenext day and there's a missed
call from this guy, my ex, and Iwas like, finally contact.
My heart was racing everything.
(06:35):
I called him back.
I said, hey, you called mehopeful, and he said, yeah,
you're not going gonna believethis.
I didn't call you, my phonecalled you.
I was sitting on the couch, myphone started calling you and
then from that point, I was like, okay, I'm staying in this life
, I'm staying in this game.
(06:56):
This is too interesting.
Okay, fast forward to a lot ofyears later.
I have grown, mature, matured,so to speak, around this whole
topic of dating and love and Ihad some interesting experiences
after this particular man.
And at one point I thought thisis my thing, because I always
(07:23):
keep coming back to wanting toknow how this stuff works.
And there was a point, therewas a period of time, a big
period of time, that I was superashamed of being single.
I always thought, oh, this sayssomething about me, about my
value.
So I was so ashamed of this,rhonda, that I didn't want to
(07:44):
communicate because I knew thisis something that I should
research.
But I didn't want to come out ofthe closet that I was a single
person.
And from the moment that Idecided wait a minute shame.
What is shame anyway?
Because I know that shame isjust an emotion to keep people
(08:05):
small and down.
It's not like we didn't make itup.
It's made up for whateverreasons and I don't really care.
So at the moment that I feltthat super strongly and threw
that shame off and came out ofthe closet like everything has
been mind-blowingly amazing,vibrationally, all the things
(08:26):
that are happening around me andI just started with the
interviews ask a hot dude, andhot between brackets, because
who's to say what's hot?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
What does that mean?
You started a show.
What does that mean?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
So I started a series of interviews.
So this is why I knew that thisis my shtick.
For now, at least, all theinformation that's out there is
if you behave, you will get thisand that, and I don't believe
it has anything to do with that.
I believe it's become who youare meant to be.
(09:04):
Oprah gave me because I askedin a private session with Oprah
and I also put that live on mychannel.
And actually that's when itstarted, because I already put
the clip up on my channel but itwas on private, because I was
just ashamed to put it live.
And when I realized this andfelt this freedom, I was like
(09:29):
what shame.
So I published it, and in thisclip I asked Oprah where's my
dude?
He's taking a really long time.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
That's the name of the video.
Right the title Where's my Dude?
Where's?
Speaker 1 (09:46):
My Dude.
Yes, exactly, I love that, Ilove it.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Very good titling there, my friend.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Actually, it's also what I said to Oprah Oprah,
where's my dude?
And Oprah said to me and I lovethis because I know this stuff,
love this because I know thisstuff.
Anyway, she said to me, as youlearn to love your body in new
ways literally my body, as Ilearn to love my physical body
(10:14):
in new ways, I will learn tolove others similarly, and then
from that I will vibrate higherand higher, become a beacon of
light and they will find you.
These are my words, right?
If people are interested, theycan check the video to hear what
Oprah had to say Exactly.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
I'll link it.
I'll link it in the show notesPerfect.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
So it's all about me focusing on my highest
excitement and not thinking andlooking.
Okay, is this the dude?
Are you the dude?
Speaker 2 (10:50):
are you no?
Speaker 1 (10:51):
because that takes me away from me and all of the
rules that are given out there.
And it's fine, because thereare multiple ways to roam.
I just like the easiest way toroam and the way that is the
most.
That is the way that I love totake again, which is working on
(11:13):
me.
Yeah, being whole and fulfilledmyself and seeing the results
that come from that.
And what do you know, there'sstuff happening.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Yeah, okay.
So just to rewind a little bit,just touch on a few things that
you said.
The first one is you mentionedoprah.
The channel said somethingabout loving your body when you
love your body more.
So I guess my question is didyou have an issue with your body
?
Because I see you all yourvideos and you're in the gym all
(11:53):
the time and you're doing theseamazing things monkey bars and
yoga positions and just reallydoing very athletic, very into
fitness and working out and workwith a lot of women with their
bodies, helping them love theirbodies.
So I'm curious, because Oprahsaid that to you did you have an
(12:13):
issue?
Or we all do to some extent,but what was that all?
Speaker 1 (12:17):
about.
Yeah, that's a really goodquestion.
So at first, when she said saidthat I was surprised because I
thought I do love my body.
And then I understood, becausewhen something resonates with me
, it's it takes some time tofigure out like what was meant,
and for sure I had an issue inthe sense of that I was
(12:39):
constantly judging myself forcertain things.
And where is judgment focused?
At my being or not at my being,at my physical being, which is
the body?
So for me, I always reallyloved my body and there was a
lot of judgment Because, forinstance, I was jumping rope
(13:03):
every day.
At one point my knee was like Idon't like this and I was like,
yeah, but you have to like itbecause I love, I want to stay
on track and I don't want tolose my fitness.
So that's not really loving.
That is judging.
So from that point I tuned inmore and more and I think it
(13:25):
will be a constant, like it's ajourney till the day I take my
last breath.
And there's a big differencebetween the moment that Oprah
said to me when you learn tolove your body in new ways and
where I am today speaking okay,yeah, so it.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
It is a unfolding that keeps on getting better,
not like I'm a hundred percentfor me loving my body, but I'm
pretty darn close and, comparedto where I come from, with
really the yeah, this, lots andlots of self-criticism, but so
that's changed and all of that.
(14:05):
So I just wanted to hear yourstory on that.
But okay, so back to the dating.
Yeah, tell me, like what'shappening now and what are what,
how you're having fun with that.
Are you dating?
Are you dating anybody?
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Let me first go back to what happened.
This was actually also becauseobviously we didn't mention Gina
yet, but most of your listenershave heard of Gina Mallison in
the meantime and if they haven't, gina Mallison teaches and
about calibrations, and I've hada couple of calibrations, in
the beginning with her on datingand I remember, after a
(14:44):
particular important one where Ireleased a lot of resistance,
rick the guy that I justpublished an interview with
today, ask a hot dude.
Rick came to me in the gymliterally the day after.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
And I was very after you got calibrated by Gina on
dating Okay.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
All right, but actually there were two men.
So there was one man waitingfor me to finish my training.
And I woke up from my and I waslooking and there were two men
waiting for me and I was likewhat?
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Not one, but two After calibration.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
I was so startled I thought what the what is going
on here?
But anyway, rick was, I love it.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
It was really funny.
That's how that happens when welose resistance and when we
allow ourselves to move energyAt the right moment.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
I want to share how I met my husband and I just
putting a mental note there,because it was like releasing
resistance and like when you, Iwas just like I don't care, I
don't care, and then so anyway,we'll bring that in later yeah,
the first man since that time,since the releasing of the
resistance, since me loving mybody more and being very focused
(16:05):
on my own vibration and not somuch on.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Is he my dude?
Is he my dude?
Oh he's hot.
Is he my dad?
So rick, and rick came to meand he would and I could feel he
was on a mission and my firstresponse was okay, back up.
So what I've learned and we'regoing a bit from here to there,
but what I've learned is my bodyhas very specific wishes and
(16:33):
when she says I, I say she aboutmy body.
When she says I better listen,because when I don't let so, my
body has intuition.
And it's not that rick was notthe right person or whatever, it
was just my response Whoa.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Physically, like when someone's in your space.
You just felt in your body likeoh, wait a minute.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
It was too intense, his energy was too intense and I
needed space to allow myself toget to know him, because
something that is I don't reallycare.
I'm just going to say it.
This is pretty personal and Idon't care because we don't do
shame.
So I haven't been physicallyintimate with someone for over
(17:15):
three years because my body justdoesn't.
I've been there, have beenopportunities, but I just didn't
want to.
So all of this to say that Ifeel like my body's fine tuning
more and more it's.
I almost feel like I'm a virginagain, which is also totally
(17:37):
fine, and I also think it's abeautiful process because I'm
just I'm rediscovering what itmeans to be physically attracted
to someone and while there is.
So we're now with rick.
So a couple of things that havehappened since.
And your question was are youdating?
(17:59):
I'm not dating and there issomeone.
So there is there's somethingunfolding and that's super vague
and I do not want to be anymore clear than that.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
I totally get it.
I told there's a love interest.
Yeah, but it's more than that.
Even it's more than that.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Is with this guy, with this Rick guy.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
We are friends in the meantime and I love him.
He's a beautiful guy and thisinterview that I did with him
he's in, uh, brazil, now southamerica.
When we spoke I thought, wow,you're so much deeper than I
gave him credit for, actually,and he's been a couple of times
to my place here in amsterdambecause he also lives in
(18:44):
amsterdam, and he's been acouple of times to my place here
in Amsterdam because he alsolives in Amsterdam and he's not
here at the moment.
And there was somethingdeveloping, like I started to
develop feelings and then hedecided to leave to South
America, which at first I wasdisappointed because I thought,
oh, I'm doing all the work, it'sgoing in the right direction,
and and now he leaves.
(19:05):
So I felt like it was a failure.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
It wasn't a failure.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
He is not the person for now for me to be intimate
with.
I'm also learning to trustwhat's going on.
Sarah Landon said it reallypotently, or the the council
recently, that I got it becauseI had a period of time that I
didn't trust myself because ofthis breakup.
(19:32):
We were each other's lists.
He said to me you're everythingon my list.
And I said to him you'reeverything on my list.
And when that fell apart, Ithought I messed up because I
create my own personal reality.
And then when I heard thecouncil say so it's the
(19:53):
expectations that you have thatcaused the disappointment, which
caused the lack of trust For me.
I was like this is my guy,we're going to get married.
If I would have known what Iknow now and it's all fine
because it's all learning in thegrand scheme of things and
that's why I'm here expansion ifI would have known like abraham
(20:17):
also says, I like you prettygood right now, let's see how it
goes.
But I was like, no, we'regetting married.
So this expectation wasshattered to 5 million pieces
and now I understand ah, just go, I'm just going with the flow
without having to know, andobviously that's a practice.
(20:40):
Like now, I feel very calmabout it.
Tomorrow.
I can be super frustrated for acouple of moments until I
release resistance again.
So now I know the expectations,I can trust myself.
I can't.
I don't care.
If I can't trust myself, whatdo I have Right?
So it's all about self love forself and trust of self.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Yeah, when you say expectations, I think of it also
as attachments.
Like you were, this is my dude,we're going to get married and
then we get very attached todifferent things.
I was talking to someone, aclient, yesterday and she is
very attached to this is thehouse I want, this is the house
(21:28):
we're going to buy and it's thishouse and just like walking
through that that's great and weeven visualized on it.
We did a visualization exercise.
But again, letting go of theattachment of this is the thing,
it's going to look this way,this is the thing it's going to
(21:50):
look this way and a soft desire,right having a desire for
something and then letting it go, and not to say yeah and trust,
and not to say that you, I, youhave a strong desire, say to
get married to this particularperson.
Yes, that's nothing wrong withthat.
It's just like going with theflow, though, and realizing not
being attached.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
And now.
I'm also at a point which tookme a while, whenever someone
said that I just wanted to pulltheir hair like this or
something even better.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Oh, you wanted to pull their hair.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
And now a couple of moment points later years.
I know because there have beensomething even better, Because I
couldn't believe there could beanything better than my then
partner, Like he was everythingRhonda to the.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
T.
How long were you guys together?
A couple of years.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Sure yeah, sure yeah, and you obviously really loved
him a lot.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
It was attachment.
When I look back at everything,it was just like he's the list.
I got to keep him because he'sthe list.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
He checks off everything on the list.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Yeah, but later, like I evolve, my wants evolve, what
I want to be with who I want tobe myself evolves.
And from this whole ordeal Ifinally got to the point where I
started to do what I came hereto do, which is dive deep in
(23:22):
Neville teachings, the council,bashar yoga.
I've been teaching yoga for acouple of years.
I will be teaching yoga again.
So all of these things I wasn'tdoing, all of that I was just
yeah, with things that are notpart of something that fulfills
(23:43):
me deeply and all of this reallyfulfills me.
I I guess yeah I'm a part ofchanging the dating scene,
because that's one of mymissions, of that people that we
will all start to takeresponsibility for ourselves and
of course, you can f up, we'restill human but that we go
(24:04):
within and keep returning withinand then becoming so much more
together.
And when we create that allwith each other, love is one of
the things that we came here for, right, love, sex, food that's
why we have a body but not tohave these blame, shame, guilt,
(24:25):
I'm not good enough because I'mnot 20 anymore and my bum is not
as tight, and blah, blah, blah.
It's none of that.
It's all being the beacon oflight by loving ourselves as
hard as we can.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
I want to take a quick second to make sure you
know about a few free gifts Ihave for you, including my Love
your Body, love your Life onlinecourse, which includes over 20
short videos based on my fivesteps to loving your body and
making peace with food.
There are other free goodiesfor you as well when you go to
(25:03):
deliciousalignmentcom slashresources, including my free
guided visualization onabundance.
When you sign up for the freeguided visualization, you are
also going to receive six of mytop interviews on prosperity.
You can also purchase my bookDelicious Alignment how 25 Women
(25:26):
Learn to Love and Transformtheir Bodies Using Abraham Hicks
and the Law of Attraction, onAmazon, and you can also contact
me about one-on-one coaching.
You'll find these free giftsand more, like I said, at
deliciousalignmentcom slashresources.
Now back to the interview.
(25:47):
So I want to tell the story ofhow I met my husband, because it
falls into the conversation ofnon-attachment, and so we're
together.
Let's see my daughter's 27.
So we're together 20 yearssince we met, and prior to that
(26:10):
I was a single mom and I at thattime was doing Matchcom.
There were a lot ofopportunities, I was having a
lot of fun and finally I said Ijust need a break.
You go out two times a weekmeeting somebody for the first
(26:34):
time, just doing that wholething, and after a while it was
like, okay, I'm taking a break.
I had a breakup with someonebecause he wanted children.
He was a little bit youngerthan me and I was like, nope,
I've been there, done that, I'vegot a girl and a boy.
I'm good.
So we had to break up and thatwas really sad because I really
(26:58):
liked him, he was so nice.
But then after that I was like,okay, I'm just taking a six
month break from this datingthing.
I just I need a break from allof this and I'm just gonna focus
on me.
And but so it was like I didn'tcare, I went to, I got to that
I don't care.
And a lot of people say that ifyou don't care, if you're not
(27:20):
trying, that's what people whenit happens, when you're not even
trying, because I didultimately want to meet someone
and get married as well, nowthat's the thing you need to do,
but that's what I wanted.
So, anyway, yeah, I met him.
We were going to these poolparties, he was their mutual
friend, and then he threw me inthe pool or whatever it was,
just like that was his way ofshowing me that he liked me.
(27:46):
It was fun, but anyway, wewound up.
Yeah, we wound up dating andthat was it.
But my point is that I reallydidn't care at that point, like
I was not looking, and so I findthat interesting that when
we're trying whether it'screating more money or finding a
relationship or anything thatyou want it's, it can be this
(28:08):
thing where you're trying oryou're attached to wanting it,
having these expectations, andthen when you let go, like you
have a desire and you let go.
That is the quote-unquote,seems to be the formula, seems
to be the secret to the secretthat that letting go of
(28:28):
resistance yeah, and that isreally.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
That is so true and I believe that something.
So the universe also expandsand evolves and I know that the
whole forget about it and itwill come that that works for
sure.
And I also know from experiencenow, because I've been playing
(28:57):
with this for a while, that Ican have the desire come into
fulfillment when I'm notattached so I can be like,
playfully, play with it, becausewhen I'm like it has to happen,
that's not that's attachment.
I can still have the desire forthe money, for the guy, for the
(29:18):
whatever, without theattachment and going with it
playfully.
Just to say for anyone that'slistening and thinks but I have
to forget about it, then I can'tforget about it.
So it's not about you have toforget about.
It's about being open.
It's not being this person,being open to it not happening
(29:41):
next week, knowing that it willhappen and that it will be
someone really amazing, becausewe created ourselves.
So we're not going to putsomeone on our path and we're
like, okay, I'm just going tochoose you because apparently
that's no, it's someone speakingabout love that we will really
like and we need to get.
(30:03):
We, we need to butt out likewho it is, we can still enjoy
and play, but the whole idea isplay, play.
Yeah, let it be fun yes, yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
And to your point about you, don't.
It's not to say that you needto forget about it, because when
it comes up, when it comes intoyour mind and it feels good and
it's fun to think about it,great.
But the moment it's like itfeels a little wobbly and not so
fun to think about it.
(30:36):
Pivot, think about somethingelse, get a calibration if it
won't go away, this yuckyfeeling.
But feeling good is the mainthing.
Yeah, yeah, and so you don'thave to forget about it.
And you can also visualize.
I love visualization.
I do want to ask you a questionabout law of assumption in a
(30:56):
second.
And you can visualize about it.
That is so powerful.
Like, just take five minutesand just see yourself there with
your beloved.
He could have a face, he couldhave a name, or he or they, or
them or she, and just like baskin that, see it, experience it
(31:18):
as if it's happening right now,pre-pave it, write it in your
journal and just knowing that.
Okay, also, I'm not going to beattached to a certain specific
result, let it unfold.
However, it unfolds.
Yes, yeah, exactly, yeah.
So let me ask you about the lawof assumption.
(31:39):
And here's why I want to askthat because I have a friend.
It was a while ago.
She was telling me about howshe wanted this specific guy.
Yeah, she had gone out with himand then they broke up.
He broke up with her and thenshe told me that she's using law
of assumption to get him back.
(32:01):
And I thought that wasinteresting because that sounds
a little bit like attachment tome.
Again, I want that specificperson, but she was swearing by
the law of assumption, which iswhere is that from?
Again, is that Neville Gardardor yes.
And so can you talk a little bitabout the law of assumption.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
So what would you like to know specifically?
Speaker 2 (32:24):
She was writing out things as if they were already
done.
Yeah, so you're assuming, whichI love.
Act as if is it the same thingLike for me, I might prepay and
write out everything as if it'salready happened.
Talk about it like it'shappening.
Oh, I want a second house.
This is true.
I want a second house like avacation rental, so I could go
(32:46):
ahead in my journal and writedown we have our second property
and we're renting it out.
It's making us so much money.
We also get to go and stay init, so is that law of assumption
?
Speaker 1 (32:59):
That is, it is law, that is law of assumption, and
so different teachers call itdifferent things.
With regards to specific people, there's an interesting I'm not
sure if you can say dichotomy,like there are different camps
of people.
One says it's possible, theother say it's not possible, and
(33:20):
I have a take on it.
That's in the middle.
I believe that it's possible,for sure you can manifest a
specific person.
There is a but to it, however.
So when?
Because this is how I got intoNeville Goddard because I wanted
and I needed this person back.
(33:42):
I was extremely attached to it.
It was not healthy, was notgood for my health, and it's all
fine because, in the grandscheme of things, it got me to
where I am now and I've beenthrough all the ups and downs
that you can think of.
I've been there, I'vemanifested crazy success in
there and also crashed andburned many times.
(34:03):
So connecting the dotsbackwards because that's what I
love to do Like I'm hyper awareof what I'm using, what
teachings I'm using and theresults that I'm seeing.
So now, thinking and lookingback and feeling back, I already
knew viscerally that it was notgood what I was doing, because
(34:27):
every time I was busy with thelaw of assumption and every time
I was super focused on him, mybody would feel off.
And now I understand what itwas.
It was my body that said cut itout.
He's not the one, stop it.
I didn't want to listen becauseI wanted what I wanted, I would
(34:49):
say, because everyone has thissystem.
We all have a body and we allhave an inner being which speaks
to us through our feelings andour intuition.
So whenever you do the law ofassumption and you feel like
this is what I want toexperience, go for it If it
feels good.
If it feels good, do it it also.
(35:13):
If it doesn't feel good, do itbecause you will reap the fruits
of the labor in any case, likeit will be bitter fruits or
there will be sweet fruit.
Do whatever.
It's how your body responds toyou.
So the law of assumption is athing, it is real and it works.
And the question is do you wantit to work because you're
(35:36):
attached or do you want it towork because this is really your
path?
Speaker 2 (35:45):
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, and being open to whatever unfolds,
because your inner being, yourhigher self, whatever you want
to call it, knows the wholepicture.
And we don't necessarily knowthe whole picture, and that's
why listening to your body islike listening to your intuition
(36:06):
, which knows it's guiding you.
Your body is alwayscommunicating to you and I love
how you keep weaving that in,because that is just such a
wonderful way to accessintuition as well that your body
knows, yes or no.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
Yeah, and our higher self speaks through the inner
being with us, like it's atrinity the higher self on the
mountaintop this is Bashar'sanalogy the higher self is on a
mountaintop, the personalityself, me, body is in the valley,
(36:43):
and then the inner being is thelink between the two.
So the inner being is attachedto both, to the higher self on
the mountaintop.
It's like that string on aballoon and that's how it
communicates through to me thepersonality better not, yeah,
but I want you, yeah, but betternot.
And it's all fine, becausethere are no there, nothing goes
(37:07):
wrong.
It's just sometimes I think now, oh, what a waste of time.
And I also know perfect,apparently I needed that time.
And now I just know next time Iwill listen sooner, or actually
there won't be a next time,because there's a whole
different way that I look at allof these things now.
There'll be a new time.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Yeah, a new experience.
So what would you say tosomeone listening who is dating
and would like to either findsomeone a companion, or would
like to find a significant lifepartner or just someone to have
(37:49):
some fun with and spend timewith, have a romance, have some
excitement?
What would you say to someonewho is really has a strong
desire for all of that?
What are some?
I want to say tips, but I don'teven know if that's the right
word because we're in ametaphysical law of attraction-y
kind but, from that viewpoint,not like dating tips, so to
(38:13):
speak but there are tips, thereare metaphors, the new rules
let's call them the new rules.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
The new rules are no rules.
So if you're not at that pointyet where you can tune in
clearly yourself because Ilisten very attentively and I
have a breathing practice that Ido sometimes once a day, mostly
a couple of times a day, andalways to tune in okay, what
wants to be, what wants to makeitself known to me, if you're
(38:42):
not there yet yourself, I don'tknow if it's intuition or if
it's fear, or if it's someoneelse collective consciousness,
or if it's fear or if it'ssomeone else collective
consciousness then I would sayfollow.
Do you feel good?
Does thinking of dating feelgood?
If not, there might besomething to work through and
you can figure that out innumerous ways.
(39:05):
There are people that can helpyou with that.
If you meet someone because Ithink some people say don't go
online dating but if it'sinspired action, I met people
through online dating.
That was super inspired action.
It was like, yes, and you canalso sense through the
inter-ethers, because everythingis energy in the end, and it
(39:28):
doesn't matter if someone'sonline or if someone's standing
next to you.
You can sense into it, feel, dothey feel good or is there
something that says not sure.
Listen to that.
Listen to and, most of all,make it playful.
It's not serious.
We're making all of this stuffso serious, and I've been one of
(39:50):
these people, and sometimes Istill am, and I constantly
remind myself this is playful,it's fun yeah yes, and I want
that person and it needs tohappen.
That's not playful.
Yeah, at all.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
Yeah, I, my God.
When I was single, I had thisplatonic friend and we were
talking about dating all thetime because we were both single
and we started writing a booktogether.
I was so into this, it wasreally good, it was a good book,
but I never published it.
It was about how to.
(40:30):
I don't even know what wecalled it, but it was about
having a certain amount of leadsin the hopper, like a sales
term, because my problem at thetime, or my challenge, was I
would get attached, I would goout on a date and if I really
liked the guy, I would be one ofthose women who would be
waiting by the phone for them tocall, so codependent, very
(40:53):
attached to someone that I liked.
And so we found a solution tothat.
We said if you have multipleleads in the hopper, like you're
talking to multiple people, notnecessarily you're intimate
with all of them.
And actually we said just beintimate with one of them so
(41:13):
you're getting your needs met,so you're not so desperate when
you're actually out on a date.
So it was all these like gamesand rules, and at the time this
was a long time ago, and so thisbook was really fun and it
actually helped me because Ifound myself not being so
(41:34):
attached and codependent when Ididn't meet somebody that I
liked, because I was talking tosome other people just talking
or chatting online or whatever,or actually going on dates, and
so that I wasn't all my what didwe call it?
All our eggs weren't in onebasket, so to speak At the time.
That was very helpful to mebecause it helped me not be so
(41:59):
codependent with that one personand just let things evolve.
And then eventually I did meetsomeone by just continually over
time, releasing more and moreresistance and loving myself,
which the journey led to moregoing within.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Eventually, what I can say, because I would love to
respond to what you said beforeand it inspired something that
I would love to say about that.
So it's not about poo-pooing onany rules or things that people
do, because it's about whateverfeels good and, if you feel
really comfortable, safer, ifyou would have five what was the
(42:43):
term you used?
Speaker 2 (42:46):
Leads in the hopper.
I can't remember what we werecalling it, but it's like a
sales term, yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
I know hopper, I know whopper, but okay.
So if that feels good to you,it's fine, yeah.
Where it becomes problematicbecause it's still not a problem
, but where it becomesproblematic is if you feel like
you have to strategize, becauseotherwise, abc, because that's
not what it's about.
(43:13):
It's about and, as I said, likethere are multiple ways to roam
, which is your way, my way isthe easy way, like the.
Okay, I've got me.
I've got this because for me,if I I would go in the rule, a
whole rule book, then wheneverything goes to pieces, then
(43:38):
who's going to pick me up?
Not me, because I've brokendown, because the rules didn't
work.
Do you know what I mean?
I'm working on having my ownback.
I'm having my own back.
I'm fulfilled and whole withinme.
I'm working on having my ownback.
I'm having my own back.
I'm fulfilled and whole withinme.
I'm playing, I'm lookingforward to play with someone
else and that, yeah.
(44:00):
So that is, if anyone takesanything from this interview on
dating is follow what feels goodand play, have fun.
Flirt my God, I've beenflirting my head off.
It's amazing.
Is follow what feels good andplay, have fun.
Flirt my God, I've beenflirting my head off.
It's amazing I'm finallyallowing myself.
I figured out so many thingsthat I was believing that was
(44:25):
just like, ah, interesting,where did that come from?
And not necessarily that I needto know.
It's just so nice to just notmind.
Ciao, what's that?
No, not thinking that either.
So I'm giving myself permissionto be fully free and fully me
and I'm enjoying all of theattention and whatnot.
What comes with that?
Speaker 2 (44:44):
I just love this topic because obviously, if I
wrote a book about it, I wasreally interested in the whole
thing.
And it's funny because I wasreally.
It was like a game.
I was having so much funmeeting different people and all
of that.
And then on Matchcom which Idon't even know if that still
(45:05):
exists, which I don't even knowif that still exists but then
the way that I met my husbandwas just not through any action,
just showing up at theseparties, these pool parties, and
he wasn't even on my radar.
It was just like he was thereand was just like some guy, and
(45:26):
then we wound up together.
And then we wound up together.
And so it's just so funny howthe universe or we are the
universe is orchestrating theevents.
You can't, even if you tried,you couldn't plan it out, like
as good as that.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
I have so many stories, rhonda, of like how,
because everyone that I datedwas a perfect manifestation of a
really strong desire.
And my very first boyfriend.
I had been in love with him fortwo years.
I had him seen play basketballin the school gym and he was one
(46:05):
of the most popular guys inschool and everyone was like him
, forget, look at you, look athim.
Like literally right, that'swhat people yeah, that you know
how it goes in school likepeople are not really mindful,
yeah, they say, in any case, twoyears later he was my boyfriend
and it all came together in thecraziest beautiful way.
(46:29):
And so I also wrote out a lotof these stories and I made
videos about them becausethey're so nice to share, and I
had not have been able to thinkup how we would eventually meet
and come together.
I didn't know anything aboutmanifesting then.
How old was I?
(46:50):
14, almost 15.
And he was 18.
So you know this beautifulblonde guy, blue eyes.
I saw pictures of him recently.
I thought, oh, I would totallyfall for you again.
Speaker 2 (47:04):
Where was this?
Where did you grow up?
In Germany, no, in.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
Horden in Holland.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
I was born in South America, grew up in Holland, in
Horden, and so it is sobeautiful when we just get out
of the way and you know what,like one thing that I know, and
that's also what Oprah said, orRamona said when I interviewed
her about this, because I alsointerviewed Ramona on dating
focus on things that you love.
(47:32):
And I remember that I was everynight I was just like, oh,
gideon I thought his name wasGideon, it turned out to be
different.
Then I made a drawing on mywall and I put something on top
of it so no one would see it,and my mom and and I was only
thinking this loving thoughtsbecause I didn't know him yet,
so I didn't know if he had notloving things.
(47:53):
And so we came together becauseit was just pure open-hearted
love.
It was just only like a blastof love that constantly went to
this guy, without attachmentreally, because when you're so
young, I don't think I thinkthere's way less attachment.
Yeah, and you know what, ronnie,you said if dating tips one,
(48:16):
one other important thing that Igot from my interview with
ramona and which she also saidin another interview she did
about dating only focus onpositive aspects of all the men
you dated in the past, or women.
Only focus on positive aspects.
Don't go.
Nah, I don't want that again,because you will attract it for
sure and you will be like huh,why is this happening?
(48:39):
Yeah, because you're focusingon it, dummy.
So only focus on things youlike of your ex-partners and
focus on things that you wouldlove to see again, and all the
things that you didn't like notimportant Gone.
No, only the positive.
Speaker 2 (48:58):
I love that Save the date.
The Delicious Alignment and theWisdom of Oprah event is
happening.
Ramona Gailey and I have a dateand location for our one-day
workshop in the Asheville areaon October 19th 2024.
The location is only 15 minutesaway from the Asheville airport
(49:18):
and close to the Biltmore,Black Mountain, Chimney Rock,
Lake, Lure and much, much more.
About the workshop itselfRamona Gailey receives her
guides, called Oprah, to answeryour questions.
Many call this channeling.
This is a hot seat formatsimilar to one you would see at
(49:39):
an Abraham Hicks workshop, butmuch smaller and more intimate,
with ample opportunities tointeract directly with Oprah and
get your questions answered.
And as the author of DeliciousAlignment, I will be
facilitating a workshop, a onehour workshop focused on self
love, body love and celebratingour food.
(50:02):
There are only 20 spotsavailable and registration will
open this month, so stay tunedfor more details.
And what do you think aboutmaking a list of things that you
would like in a partner likeyour must-haves and your
negotiables?
I think it's good to haveclarity.
Speaker 1 (50:23):
Yeah, I think our inner being and our higher
selves, like God already knows,right, we don't have to keep
repeating I want this, he knowswhat suits.
But, and it can also be funLike it can be fun to focus on
it and make a list, and thishappened a couple of times, that
the list just came what?
(50:44):
And then I found out like, ohyeah, it's everything on the
list, but it's actually notreally what I wanted.
So I would say do what floatsyour boat.
If it feels good, do it.
And I would say also goqualities over, like emotional
qualities, because, duh, ofcourse they need to be pretty or
handsome, you need to beattracted to them because
(51:05):
otherwise To you.
Speaker 2 (51:07):
Yes, you need to be attracted.
I would say that's important.
But again, it's reallyotherwise to you.
Yes, you need to be tracked.
Speaker 1 (51:14):
I would say that's important but again, it's really
up to you.
What feels good to you, yeah,yeah, but the whole brown hair,
brown eyes only I would go forit if it feels good.
But I would leave that openbecause I know of a lot of
people that said, yeah, I endedup with so and so only not my
type on paper, but I'm so inlove with them.
So just give yourself morewiggle room because you're
(51:35):
creating it.
Speaker 2 (51:36):
Yeah, I like the list .
I think clarity is reallyimportant for when you want to
manifest things that you wantagain, without attachment to a
specific thing.
But the clarity gives you power.
It's oh, I want a relationshipand these are the things that
(52:02):
are important to me.
Non-negotiable.
I think negotiables andnon-negotiables are important
too.
I think negotiables andnon-negotiables are important
too because, again, I've beendivorced once and so, yeah, wish
I had those non-negotiables inthere for the first marriage and
(52:23):
also, knowing that nothing'swrong here, there's no mistakes,
everything's perfect, and I gotmy daughter out of that
relationship.
But looking back, yeah, if Ihad gone with my non-negotiables
, I probably wouldn't havegotten married to that person.
And so I think it's powerful tohave a clarity about what you
(52:48):
want and, again, not focusingtoo much on the non-negotiables
but go, oh, I don't want, Idefinitely don't want anybody
that smokes cigarettes.
Okay, oh, meet somebody theysmoke cigarettes.
I definitely want somebody whois has certain amount of
financial stability.
If I was to be single yeah,let's just say I was single I
(53:11):
would have my list, mepersonally, because that feels
good to me.
If that doesn't feel good toyou, then don't worry about it.
I met with a friend recentlyand she said I don't care about
the money, I have money, I don'tcare about it.
I'm like, okay, because I washelping her kind of make that
(53:32):
list in a way in her own mind,just while I was trying to find
out, cause she was asking me foradvice, which is weird because
I don't really give adviceanymore.
It's let me talk to your innerbeing and all the answers are
within you.
But yes.
So what else would you like tosay to anybody listening that
(53:54):
would like to find their dude ortheir dudette?
Speaker 1 (53:57):
or their they.
It is possible for you.
If the desire, when the desireis there, it is possible.
Period, because that was a longtime.
It was my fear.
Maybe it's not possible for me.
Now I know that it is.
(54:17):
I'm just sifting and sortinglike that and the interesting
thing is I integrate energiesreally quickly at the moment.
So what I think I want in apartner, I meet it pretty
quickly, we dance together andthen I'm like huh, no, not
interested anymore, and so Idon't need to have physical
(54:39):
intimacy for that, it's just anintegration of something that I
know I need.
And so I would say, and I sayit is possible for you, and you
will meet them when you'rehaving the most fun, like when
you feel happy and joyful enough.
(55:01):
So, happy and joyful enough,you will meet the person and you
won't go into oh my God, whatif they fall away?
Because then you're inattachment and you need someone
to into.
Oh my God, what if they fallaway?
Because then you're inattachment and you need someone
to make you feel whole.
So make sure that you're firstat that point that you're like
you know what?
It would be really awesome tomeet that person, because I feel
(55:21):
I'm ready.
And not because I've been therefor a while it's been so long.
I don't want to meet anyone inthat state, because when there's
someone in my life I will holdon to them for dear life and for
sure they will run, because whowants that?
Speaker 2 (55:38):
Because it's true, you, I've been there where I
feel so lonely.
I just want, I want thatspecial.
Where's my person?
I started at 13 years old withthat conversation.
Where's my person?
I started at 13 years old withthat conversation just boy,
crazy, and wanting to be in loveand wanting to have that
experience and it was likeeverything.
(55:59):
And, of course, as you getolder, you realize that my
happiness is within me.
I'm the only one responsible formy happiness and I think of my
dear friends Karen MoneyWilliams and Mark Toms.
They're from Florida, they runand they still.
They started another AbrahamHicks group where people
(56:22):
actually get together and have ameeting and I went there for 10
years when they were havingthat and I always think about
their relationship because hewould always say I'm the
luckiest guy in the world andshe, karen, lets me know I'm not
responsible for her happinessand I just love it when they
share that and they.
(56:44):
He's not responsible for herhappiness, she's responsible for
her happiness.
So he's off the hook.
And I learned a lot from thatbecause in the beginning of my
marriage, a lot of times I wouldmake my husband responsible.
I'm not going to lie.
I would make him responsiblefor my happiness happiness when
(57:14):
I let go, stopped trying tocontrol him and just knew that
I'm responsible for my happiness, not him.
The relationship got better.
I'm sure he appreciates thatvery much I know he does and, oh
my God.
They have such a beautifulrelationship and I am so
thankful that I was able to gothere for 10 years and just see
them and see how they do things,how they really walk the living
(57:38):
.
Speaker 1 (57:39):
It's also.
It's super attractive.
I find people that are centeredwithin themselves so attractive
and, of course, you can getinto your sexually cute as well.
So attractive, and of course,you can get into your sexually
cute as well.
Yeah, it's I.
I like it's been.
Especially the guys that I meetare all these really?
They're gym dudes, they'restrong, fit men and then,
(58:01):
noticing that they can get shy,like, oh, that's so touching
they can get shy.
Speaker 2 (58:07):
Yeah, yes, of course, oh, so sweet, yeah.
And I think again to your pointthat when you focus on yourself
and having fun, you willattract open the door and
(58:28):
they'll be waiting online likefor you.
They're waiting on the site totalk to you and maybe not like
that, maybe they'll show up atyour door.
Sarah landon I remember she'ssharing how she says her uh
partner.
He literally showed up on herdoor because he's a veterinarian
and I guess he was showing upfor the horses or to something
(58:53):
like that.
I don't know the exact story,but he literally showed up on
her tour.
That is amazing.
Speaker 1 (59:01):
It's so interesting to me because what I noticed is
that people come to me and I'mjust like, yeah, but what about
these people that come to me?
Don't they want someone thatcome to me?
Don't they want someone to cometo them?
Do?
Speaker 2 (59:12):
you mean these guys that come to you, don't they
want somebody to come to them?
Speaker 1 (59:18):
Exactly.
I was just wondering, like howis it for them?
But because they this is anassumption they are men and men.
They say men like to chase, butthen, at the same time, I think
men also like to be wooed.
Speaker 2 (59:35):
I actually like that question because with me, with
my husband even though, like, hethrew me in the pool, that was
obviously his way of flirtingand I would see him at the
seminars we met at landmarkeducation and he would flirt,
but then he never asked me outand I was getting very
(59:57):
frustrated like why?
Because I had that thought inmy head that the guy should ask
me out.
That's what I want.
I want the guy to ask me out.
But I would see him at thesepool parties and sometimes I
would bring my kids and he wouldhang out with my kids and give
them so much attention and justbe so wonderful with my kids.
(01:00:17):
That's way to a single mom'sheart is be nice to her kids.
And so I was baffled and Ididn't understand.
So finally I just asked him himout and the rest is history.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (01:00:36):
Now tell me more.
How did that go?
Were you nervous, Like when?
What happened?
Were you at a pool party?
Give us the deets, Rhonda.
Speaker 2 (01:00:44):
Oh, okay, now there you go.
Okay, this is fun.
Speaker 1 (01:00:48):
I love this stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:00:49):
Yes, now, there you go.
Okay, this is fun I love.
Yes, I really I guess kind ofold school in a way where I
wanted the guy to pursue me, andso I had an experience a couple
of experiences, though where Ijust I asked a guy out twice,
like two different people, andit didn't work out so great.
(01:01:10):
I was working in a corporateworld and I felt like this man
kept staring at me and he wasvery nice, I liked him and he
worked in the IT department, buthe never asked me out.
So then I finally asked him out, and then he was offended.
I would never frat withsomebody that I work with, and
it it was just so horrible toget that rejection.
(01:01:32):
I was like, oh my to putyourself out there.
I don't normally go aroundasking people out, so it was.
It was really not devastating,but definitely hurt.
Yeah, it burned and but I stillwith this thing with my husband
, I still still, after a whileI'm like.
I know he likes me, I know it.
(01:01:54):
So I just couldn't take itanymore.
Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
I just asked him out, yeah, but yes, and I love it,
but were you at the pool party?
Was it at Landmark Education?
Do you remember this?
Speaker 2 (01:02:07):
Oh, yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, education, do you
remember this?
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh,okay, so you really.
I have to tell this storybecause at the pool party where
another time it was adults andwe were playing truth or dare
and someone dared they were, Idon't know, I guess they were
(01:02:29):
picking up on something betweenus where I hadn't picked up on
it at all.
I was in the pool, he wassitting outside of the pool and
I was.
I just had this thought, likewhat's wrong with that guy?
Why doesn't he go in the poolwith everybody else?
And that was about the extentof it.
That's, that's it.
But somebody, this lady friend,must have picked up on
something because we're playingtruth and dare.
(01:02:51):
And so she dared him to makeout with me.
So I was like this I washanging over the side of the
pool, I was in the pool, and sowhen she dared him to make out
with me this is my memory, hetells it differently he ran over
to make out with me.
He this is my memory, he tellsit differently he ran over to
(01:03:12):
make out with me and we made out, and then I was like, oh, hello
, oh, and who are you like?
That was like a nice kiss and Ilove it, yeah.
So then, even after all, hestill didn't ask me out.
So I was like after that andthen so it was a few more times
(01:03:34):
of stuff getting together,seeing him in a group scenario.
We all went to the movies in agroup, we all did this as a
group was always group.
And then finally I had thisparty to go to was a Halloween
party, costume party.
So I just thought I wasn'tnervous, I just thought I'm just
going to ask him to go with meto the party.
(01:03:56):
And he said yes.
So we, yeah, we didn't get crazywith the costumes, but I think
I was like a vampire and he waslike a nerd, which he is anyway.
So we had these, the whiteshirt with pens sticking out of
the pocket.
I thought you were going to saynurse, but you said Nerd, yeah,
which he is.
He's a yeah, so a computer guy,techie, so.
(01:04:19):
And then we've been togetherever since.
But yes, so I didn't give up.
I mean I followed my innerguidance.
Even though the one guyrejected me when I asked him out
, I still was following myguidance and I think I was into
I was definitely intospirituality and I just said,
screw it, I'm just gonna ask,I'm just gonna ask him to the
(01:04:40):
party and yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
And you know what, when you were saying that this
guy at work reacted in that way,I'm just like, yeah, what?
Always when people because I'vehad it in the streets a couple
of times that people just walkup to me to ask me out and never
been that I thought, oh, Iwould like to go out with you
and I always say, wow, thank youfor having the courage to do
(01:05:08):
that, because I can imaginethat's pretty nerve-wracking.
And then I go into the, I'mflattered but I'm not interested
, and I think it's amazing whensomeone has the guts to do that.
Yeah, I applaud that.
I'm just like, wow, good on yougoing for what he wants.
Speaker 2 (01:05:27):
Yes, really.
And when you think about it inmy world I don't know what it's
like now.
Obviously everything'sdifferent, but in my world it
was traditional.
I was more traditional in thesense that the guy asked the
girl out.
Now we have different pronouns.
I respect all of that Inwhatever way, but I think still,
(01:05:51):
like you said, it takes someguts when I think about in the
past the guys having to usuallydo the asking.
Even going to clubs when I wasyounger and waiting around for
somebody to ask you to dance.
I could dance with mygirlfriends, but other than that
(01:06:12):
I felt like a wallflower.
You just have to wait forsomebody to ask me to dance.
I'm sure it's very differentnow and I hated that.
I hate that part of going toclubs.
Speaker 1 (01:06:23):
Yeah, I know what you mean and you know what.
Because this whole new way ofbeing, because when we are in a
playful light mode, things justwork differently.
Because I also take inspiredaction when I feel it.
It has to be really inspired,though.
I have to feel the surge.
For the rest, I'm just happyingmyself into more happiness and
(01:06:48):
vibrancy, not to get something,but simply because it feels
better and the great thing is,things do happen from that.
Speaker 2 (01:06:57):
Yes, I can't tell you how many times I've had this
conversation with girlfriendsover the years.
I want to meet somebody.
I want to meet somebody.
I'm not meeting anybody andit's just go have some.
Just do what interests you,follow the yes, your highest
(01:07:18):
excitement.
Just do these things thatinterest you.
It's in my belief that persondon't worry, the universe knows
what you want.
Speaker 1 (01:07:27):
And because you can't orchestrate it like I did, all
the online dating stuff but Ididn't meet my husband that way
yeah, you know, and I also didonline dating and I had some
really cool boyfriends from that, and never the man, because it
was always out of frustrationthat I went on to dating sites.
(01:07:50):
It was never from Ooh, I likethis so much, I just want to
meet someone.
So what do you get?
Someone that's actually a matchto that energy.
Speaker 2 (01:08:03):
Yeah, it's like with anything right, the energy you
bring to it go into it with, andthere's nothing wrong with it,
I'm just yeah, that's not mygame anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:08:13):
I'm going for high vibe.
Speaker 2 (01:08:14):
Yes I'm going for high vibe.
Yes, this has been so much fun.
We could talk about this foranother couple of hours, this.
I really enjoyed thisconversation, which I knew I
would.
Me too, I too, I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:08:29):
I love this stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:08:30):
Yes, and we look forward to hearing what's next
for you on your journey.
And so I'd like to ask you,victoria, because we didn't
really get a chance to talkabout anything like what you're
up to Are you a coach?
I know you're multifaceted aswe often are.
Are you a coach?
(01:08:51):
I know you're multifaceted aswe often are, so tell me
whatever it is that you like tolet people know about what you
do and how they can find you.
Speaker 1 (01:08:58):
Yes, so I do, as you said, a couple of things.
I have a vegan lipstick brandwhich I put a link in the
description if people areinterested in knowing more about
that, because I have a link inthe description, if people are
interested in knowing more aboutthat, because I have a website
and this is a whole long storyfor a whole different time and I
will speak to Bo tomorrow aboutit, actually about the lipstick
(01:09:20):
.
Speaker 2 (01:09:21):
Oh, timothy Waterman.
Yeah, okay, how can people findyou?
Speaker 1 (01:09:27):
I will give you my Instagram handles.
I think that's the easiest,because I also have a website
with a blog with a lot ofarticles on this.
I have a YouTube channel with alot of videos and if people are
interested in finding out moreabout me, then they can just
follow their guidance and clickwhatever feels good.
Speaker 2 (01:09:48):
Okay, so what is your Instagram handle?
Speaker 1 (01:09:52):
Ah, you want me to mention it now.
So my full name.
It's pretty long.
Speaker 2 (01:10:00):
Okay, so I will put all of the links in the show
notes and you can find Victoriathat way, just her YouTube
channel and her Instagram andall of that great stuff, cause
she has a really long name andjust it'd be easy just to click
on the link.
Wonderful.
Speaker 1 (01:10:17):
Yeah, exactly yeah.
Thank you for having me and for, yeah, letting me give my side
perspective on things.
And if it feels good forwhoever listens, take it.
If it doesn't leave it, Alwaysgo like that.
Speaker 2 (01:10:37):
Yeah, exactly.
Thank you so much, victoria.
Thank you for having me.
I hope you enjoyed this episode.
I don't know if you can tell,but I really had a blast talking
to Victoria, and if you'd liketo get in touch with her, one of
the best ways you can do thatis on her YouTube channel at
(01:10:57):
Victoria-Monique.
Just go to YouTube and searchVictoria Monique.
I'll also post that link andall her links, including her
website and Instagram handles,in the description below.
And here are a few ways you canconnect with me.
You can go to my website,deliciousalignmentcom.
(01:11:19):
You can join my Facebook group,delicious Alignment, and, if
you enjoyed this content, youcan make sure to subscribe to
this podcast or my YouTubechannel, or both.
It's the podcast, episodes areon both, so you'll never miss an
episode, and you can alsofollow me on Instagram at
Delicious Alignment.
Well, that's it for today, myfriend.
(01:11:41):
I will see you next time.
I wasn't doing all of that.
I was just busy with thingsthat are not part of something
that fulfills me deeply and allof this really fulfills me, I
guess.
Yeah, I'm a part of changingthe dating scene, because that's
one of my missions, of thatpeople, that we will all start
(00:23):
to take responsibility forourselves and, of course, you
can f up, we're still human butthat we go within and keep
returning within and thenbecoming so much more together.
And when we create that, allwith each other, love is one of
the things that we came here forright love, sex, food that's
(00:44):
why we have a body but not tohave these blame, shame, guilt,
I'm not good enough because I'mnot 20 anymore and my bum is not
as tight, and blah, blah, blah.
It's none of that.
It's all being the beacon oflight by loving ourselves as
(01:08):
hard as we can.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Welcome to the Delicious Alignment and the Art
of Abundance podcast.
We cover topics related tohealth, wealth and happiness
from a spiritual andmetaphysical point of view.
I'm your host, author andintuitive coach, rhonda Ryder.
So, whether you're interestedin dating or not, I think you're
(01:33):
going to love today'sdiscussion with Victoria Monique
Balmati-Jugru.
Hope I got your name right,victoria.
So yeah, because Victoria isfantastic and we're talking
about all kinds of things,spiritual and metaphysical, and
as it relates to non-attachment,and specifically here we're
talking about dating.
Victoria is a YouTubepersonality, a transformational
(01:59):
coach, an athlete and a creatorof a vegan lipstick.
Yes, she is multifaceted andpretty amazing.
In this interview, victoriacandidly shares her journey of
overcoming a heart-wrenchingbreakup Most of us have been
there Her insights on usingNeville Goddard's teachings and
(02:22):
her experiences in dating andself-love.
We explore the importance offocusing on oneself, releasing
resistance and having fun whilebeing single and while dating
and while being married.
We also talk about practicaltips for attracting a romantic
partner and the importance offollowing your intuition.
(02:43):
I share a lot, too, includingmy 11 years of navigating the
dating arena as a single mombefore marrying my husband.
Let me see, 20 years ago now.
Yes, 20 years ago.
So I also want to say when Iinterviewed Victoria this
(03:04):
interview took place back inMarch for this podcast she was
still single, but since thattime I checked in with her and
she has met someone and says sheis very much in love.
She also knows she can changeher mind at any given moment as
she continues to follow herguidance and trust her intuition
(03:26):
.
So, without further ado, Ican't wait to introduce you to
Victoria.
Let's get started.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Hi Victoria, hey Rhonda.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
So great to chat with you today about this delicious
topic chat with you today aboutthis delicious topic.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, I'm super happy to be here.
You know that I've been a fanof yours for a while, so it's
really cool that now I'm beinginterviewed on one of my
favorite shows.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Oh, thank you, Wow, thank you so much and I know you
have your own YouTube channeland we'll get into all that.
Let people know all about thestuff you have going on.
But first we want to chat aboutdating.
Dating and law of attractionmetaphysical world that you and
(04:18):
I live in a lot of my listenersand your listeners it's a whole
different ballgame and, like Ishared with you before, I will
live vicariously through youbecause I'm married and I am no
longer dating.
But I have lots of stories andnot that I'm going to get into
them today.
We'll see what happens.
But I love this topic because Iremember when I was in the
(04:43):
dating arena and really usingthese principles for that as
well creating what you want andattracting and allowing what you
want and all that kind of stuff.
So I know that you're the onethat came up with this topic.
So where would you like tostart?
What would you like to shareabout it?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
I'm going to give you the short version.
When everything clickedtogether for me, that was pretty
recently and because of a veryheart-wrenching breakup which
happened a couple of years agoin Berlin, I literally thought I
don't want to live anymore,because I don't want to live
anymore, because I don't want tolive because it was so painful,
(05:29):
rhonda, and I remember therewas a point in the day that I
felt so low that I felt like mysoul was going to leave my body
literally.
And I know that we can choosewhen we step out or when we stay
, and I really I didn can choosewhen we step out or when we
stay, and I really I didn't carewhat would happen.
(05:49):
So what happened?
That evening?
When I turned off my phone, Imanaged to get myself to a yoga
class on this particular day.
So it was already.
We had broken up.
I had gotten into the teachingsof Neville Goddard to get this
guy back, only for that, fornothing else.
Little did I know that was mypath to get deeper into these
(06:13):
kinds of teachings.
Anyway, I had wished forsomething that had happened the
night that I turned off my phone.
So I turned on my phone thenext day and there's a missed
call from this guy, my ex, and Iwas like, finally contact.
My heart was racing everything.
(06:35):
I called him back.
I said, hey, you called mehopeful, and he said, yeah,
you're not going gonna believethis.
I didn't call you, my phonecalled you.
I was sitting on the couch, myphone started calling you and
then from that point, I was like, okay, I'm staying in this life
, I'm staying in this game.
(06:56):
This is too interesting.
Okay, fast forward to a lot ofyears later.
I have grown, mature, matured,so to speak, around this whole
topic of dating and love and Ihad some interesting experiences
after this particular man.
And at one point I thought thisis my thing, because I always
(07:23):
keep coming back to wanting toknow how this stuff works.
And there was a point, therewas a period of time, a big
period of time, that I was superashamed of being single.
I always thought, oh, this sayssomething about me, about my
value.
So I was so ashamed of this,rhonda, that I didn't want to
(07:44):
communicate because I knew thisis something that I should
research.
But I didn't want to come out ofthe closet that I was a single
person.
And from the moment that Idecided wait a minute shame.
What is shame anyway?
Because I know that shame isjust an emotion to keep people
(08:05):
small and down.
It's not like we didn't make itup.
It's made up for whateverreasons and I don't really care.
So at the moment that I feltthat super strongly and threw
that shame off and came out ofthe closet like everything has
been mind-blowingly amazing,vibrationally, all the things
(08:26):
that are happening around me andI just started with the
interviews ask a hot dude, andhot between brackets, because
who's to say what's hot?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
What does that mean?
You started a show.
What does that mean?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
So I started a series of interviews.
So this is why I knew that thisis my shtick.
For now, at least, all theinformation that's out there is
if you behave, you will get thisand that, and I don't believe
it has anything to do with that.
I believe it's become who youare meant to be.
(09:04):
Oprah gave me because I askedin a private session with Oprah
and I also put that live on mychannel.
And actually that's when itstarted, because I already put
the clip up on my channel but itwas on private, because I was
just ashamed to put it live.
And when I realized this andfelt this freedom, I was like
(09:29):
what shame.
So I published it, and in thisclip I asked Oprah where's my
dude?
He's taking a really long time.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
That's the name of the video.
Right the title Where's my Dude?
Where's?
Speaker 1 (09:46):
My Dude.
Yes, exactly, I love that, Ilove it.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Very good titling there, my friend.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Actually, it's also what I said to Oprah Oprah,
where's my dude?
And Oprah said to me and I lovethis because I know this stuff,
love this because I know thisstuff.
Anyway, she said to me, as youlearn to love your body in new
ways literally my body, as Ilearn to love my physical body
(10:14):
in new ways, I will learn tolove others similarly, and then
from that I will vibrate higherand higher, become a beacon of
light and they will find you.
These are my words, right?
If people are interested, theycan check the video to hear what
Oprah had to say Exactly.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
I'll link it.
I'll link it in the show notesPerfect.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
So it's all about me focusing on my highest
excitement and not thinking andlooking.
Okay, is this the dude?
Are you the dude?
Speaker 2 (10:50):
are you no?
Speaker 1 (10:51):
because that takes me away from me and all of the
rules that are given out there.
And it's fine, because thereare multiple ways to roam.
I just like the easiest way toroam and the way that is the
most.
That is the way that I love totake again, which is working on
(11:13):
me.
Yeah, being whole and fulfilledmyself and seeing the results
that come from that.
And what do you know, there'sstuff happening.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Yeah, okay.
So just to rewind a little bit,just touch on a few things that
you said.
The first one is you mentionedoprah.
The channel said somethingabout loving your body when you
love your body more.
So I guess my question is didyou have an issue with your body
?
Because I see you all yourvideos and you're in the gym all
(11:53):
the time and you're doing theseamazing things monkey bars and
yoga positions and just reallydoing very athletic, very into
fitness and working out and workwith a lot of women with their
bodies, helping them love theirbodies.
So I'm curious, because Oprahsaid that to you did you have an
(12:13):
issue?
Or we all do to some extent,but what was that all?
Speaker 1 (12:17):
about.
Yeah, that's a really goodquestion.
So at first, when she said saidthat I was surprised because I
thought I do love my body.
And then I understood, becausewhen something resonates with me
, it's it takes some time tofigure out like what was meant,
and for sure I had an issue inthe sense of that I was
(12:39):
constantly judging myself forcertain things.
And where is judgment focused?
At my being or not at my being,at my physical being, which is
the body?
So for me, I always reallyloved my body and there was a
lot of judgment Because, forinstance, I was jumping rope
(13:03):
every day.
At one point my knee was like Idon't like this and I was like,
yeah, but you have to like itbecause I love, I want to stay
on track and I don't want tolose my fitness.
So that's not really loving.
That is judging.
So from that point I tuned inmore and more and I think it
(13:25):
will be a constant, like it's ajourney till the day I take my
last breath.
And there's a big differencebetween the moment that Oprah
said to me when you learn tolove your body in new ways and
where I am today speaking okay,yeah, so it.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
It is a unfolding that keeps on getting better,
not like I'm a hundred percentfor me loving my body, but I'm
pretty darn close and, comparedto where I come from, with
really the yeah, this, lots andlots of self-criticism, but so
that's changed and all of that.
(14:05):
So I just wanted to hear yourstory on that.
But okay, so back to the dating.
Yeah, tell me, like what'shappening now and what are what,
how you're having fun with that.
Are you dating?
Are you dating anybody?
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Let me first go back to what happened.
This was actually also becauseobviously we didn't mention Gina
yet, but most of your listenershave heard of Gina Mallison in
the meantime and if they haven't, gina Mallison teaches and
about calibrations, and I've hada couple of calibrations, in
the beginning with her on datingand I remember, after a
(14:44):
particular important one where Ireleased a lot of resistance,
rick the guy that I justpublished an interview with
today, ask a hot dude.
Rick came to me in the gymliterally the day after.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
And I was very after you got calibrated by Gina on
dating Okay.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
All right, but actually there were two men.
So there was one man waitingfor me to finish my training.
And I woke up from my and I waslooking and there were two men
waiting for me and I was likewhat?
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Not one, but two After calibration.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
I was so startled I thought what the what is going
on here?
But anyway, rick was, I love it.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
It was really funny.
That's how that happens when welose resistance and when we
allow ourselves to move energyAt the right moment.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
I want to share how I met my husband and I just
putting a mental note there,because it was like releasing
resistance and like when you, Iwas just like I don't care, I
don't care, and then so anyway,we'll bring that in later yeah,
the first man since that time,since the releasing of the
resistance, since me loving mybody more and being very focused
(16:05):
on my own vibration and not somuch on.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Is he my dude?
Is he my dude?
Oh he's hot.
Is he my dad?
So rick, and rick came to meand he would and I could feel he
was on a mission and my firstresponse was okay, back up.
So what I've learned and we'regoing a bit from here to there,
but what I've learned is my bodyhas very specific wishes and
(16:33):
when she says I, I say she aboutmy body.
When she says I better listen,because when I don't let so, my
body has intuition.
And it's not that rick was notthe right person or whatever, it
was just my response Whoa.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Physically, like when someone's in your space.
You just felt in your body likeoh, wait a minute.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
It was too intense, his energy was too intense and I
needed space to allow myself toget to know him, because
something that is I don't reallycare.
I'm just going to say it.
This is pretty personal and Idon't care because we don't do
shame.
So I haven't been physicallyintimate with someone for over
(17:15):
three years because my body justdoesn't.
I've been there, have beenopportunities, but I just didn't
want to.
So all of this to say that Ifeel like my body's fine tuning
more and more it's.
I almost feel like I'm a virginagain, which is also totally
(17:37):
fine, and I also think it's abeautiful process because I'm
just I'm rediscovering what itmeans to be physically attracted
to someone and while there is.
So we're now with rick.
So a couple of things that havehappened since.
And your question was are youdating?
(17:59):
I'm not dating and there issomeone.
So there is there's somethingunfolding and that's super vague
and I do not want to be anymore clear than that.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
I totally get it.
I told there's a love interest.
Yeah, but it's more than that.
Even it's more than that.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Is with this guy, with this Rick guy.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
We are friends in the meantime and I love him.
He's a beautiful guy and thisinterview that I did with him
he's in, uh, brazil, now southamerica.
When we spoke I thought, wow,you're so much deeper than I
gave him credit for, actually,and he's been a couple of times
to my place here in amsterdambecause he also lives in
(18:44):
amsterdam, and he's been acouple of times to my place here
in Amsterdam because he alsolives in Amsterdam and he's not
here at the moment.
And there was somethingdeveloping, like I started to
develop feelings and then hedecided to leave to South
America, which at first I wasdisappointed because I thought,
oh, I'm doing all the work, it'sgoing in the right direction,
and and now he leaves.
(19:05):
So I felt like it was a failure.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
It wasn't a failure.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
He is not the person for now for me to be intimate
with.
I'm also learning to trustwhat's going on.
Sarah Landon said it reallypotently, or the the council
recently, that I got it becauseI had a period of time that I
didn't trust myself because ofthis breakup.
(19:32):
We were each other's lists.
He said to me you're everythingon my list.
And I said to him you'reeverything on my list.
And when that fell apart, Ithought I messed up because I
create my own personal reality.
And then when I heard thecouncil say so it's the
(19:53):
expectations that you have thatcaused the disappointment, which
caused the lack of trust For me.
I was like this is my guy,we're going to get married.
If I would have known what Iknow now and it's all fine
because it's all learning in thegrand scheme of things and
that's why I'm here expansion ifI would have known like abraham
(20:17):
also says, I like you prettygood right now, let's see how it
goes.
But I was like, no, we'regetting married.
So this expectation wasshattered to 5 million pieces
and now I understand ah, just go, I'm just going with the flow
without having to know, andobviously that's a practice.
(20:40):
Like now, I feel very calmabout it.
Tomorrow.
I can be super frustrated for acouple of moments until I
release resistance again.
So now I know the expectations,I can trust myself.
I can't.
I don't care.
If I can't trust myself, whatdo I have Right?
So it's all about self love forself and trust of self.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Yeah, when you say expectations, I think of it also
as attachments.
Like you were, this is my dude,we're going to get married and
then we get very attached todifferent things.
I was talking to someone, aclient, yesterday and she is
very attached to this is thehouse I want, this is the house
(21:28):
we're going to buy and it's thishouse and just like walking
through that that's great and weeven visualized on it.
We did a visualization exercise.
But again, letting go of theattachment of this is the thing,
it's going to look this way,this is the thing it's going to
(21:50):
look this way and a soft desire,right having a desire for
something and then letting it go, and not to say yeah and trust,
and not to say that you, I, youhave a strong desire, say to
get married to this particularperson.
Yes, that's nothing wrong withthat.
It's just like going with theflow, though, and realizing not
being attached.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
And now.
I'm also at a point which tookme a while, whenever someone
said that I just wanted to pulltheir hair like this or
something even better.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Oh, you wanted to pull their hair.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
And now a couple of moment points later years.
I know because there have beensomething even better, Because I
couldn't believe there could beanything better than my then
partner, Like he was everythingRhonda to the.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
T.
How long were you guys together?
A couple of years.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Sure yeah, sure yeah, and you obviously really loved
him a lot.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
It was attachment.
When I look back at everything,it was just like he's the list.
I got to keep him because he'sthe list.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
He checks off everything on the list.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Yeah, but later, like I evolve, my wants evolve, what
I want to be with who I want tobe myself evolves.
And from this whole ordeal Ifinally got to the point where I
started to do what I came hereto do, which is dive deep in
(23:22):
Neville teachings, the council,bashar yoga.
I've been teaching yoga for acouple of years.
I will be teaching yoga again.
So all of these things I wasn'tdoing, all of that I was just
yeah, with things that are notpart of something that fulfills
(23:43):
me deeply and all of this reallyfulfills me.
I I guess yeah I'm a part ofchanging the dating scene,
because that's one of mymissions, of that people that we
will all start to takeresponsibility for ourselves and
of course, you can f up, we'restill human but that we go
(24:04):
within and keep returning withinand then becoming so much more
together.
And when we create that allwith each other, love is one of
the things that we came here for, right, love, sex, food that's
why we have a body but not tohave these blame, shame, guilt,
(24:25):
I'm not good enough because I'mnot 20 anymore and my bum is not
as tight, and blah, blah, blah.
It's none of that.
It's all being the beacon oflight by loving ourselves as
hard as we can.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
I want to take a quick second to make sure you
know about a few free gifts Ihave for you, including my Love
your Body, love your Life onlinecourse, which includes over 20
short videos based on my fivesteps to loving your body and
making peace with food.
There are other free goodiesfor you as well when you go to
(25:03):
deliciousalignmentcom slashresources, including my free
guided visualization onabundance.
When you sign up for the freeguided visualization, you are
also going to receive six of mytop interviews on prosperity.
You can also purchase my bookDelicious Alignment how 25 Women
(25:26):
Learn to Love and Transformtheir Bodies Using Abraham Hicks
and the Law of Attraction, onAmazon, and you can also contact
me about one-on-one coaching.
You'll find these free giftsand more, like I said, at
deliciousalignmentcom slashresources.
Now back to the interview.
(25:47):
So I want to tell the story ofhow I met my husband, because it
falls into the conversation ofnon-attachment, and so we're
together.
Let's see my daughter's 27.
So we're together 20 yearssince we met, and prior to that
(26:10):
I was a single mom and I at thattime was doing Matchcom.
There were a lot ofopportunities, I was having a
lot of fun and finally I said Ijust need a break.
You go out two times a weekmeeting somebody for the first
(26:34):
time, just doing that wholething, and after a while it was
like, okay, I'm taking a break.
I had a breakup with someonebecause he wanted children.
He was a little bit youngerthan me and I was like, nope,
I've been there, done that, I'vegot a girl and a boy.
I'm good.
So we had to break up and thatwas really sad because I really
(26:58):
liked him, he was so nice.
But then after that I was like,okay, I'm just taking a six
month break from this datingthing.
I just I need a break from allof this and I'm just gonna focus
on me.
And but so it was like I didn'tcare, I went to, I got to that
I don't care.
And a lot of people say that ifyou don't care, if you're not
(27:20):
trying, that's what people whenit happens, when you're not even
trying, because I didultimately want to meet someone
and get married as well, nowthat's the thing you need to do,
but that's what I wanted.
So, anyway, yeah, I met him.
We were going to these poolparties, he was their mutual
friend, and then he threw me inthe pool or whatever it was,
just like that was his way ofshowing me that he liked me.
(27:46):
It was fun, but anyway, wewound up.
Yeah, we wound up dating andthat was it.
But my point is that I reallydidn't care at that point, like
I was not looking, and so I findthat interesting that when
we're trying whether it'screating more money or finding a
relationship or anything thatyou want it's, it can be this
(28:08):
thing where you're trying oryou're attached to wanting it,
having these expectations, andthen when you let go, like you
have a desire and you let go.
That is the quote-unquote,seems to be the formula, seems
to be the secret to the secretthat that letting go of
(28:28):
resistance yeah, and that isreally.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
That is so true and I believe that something.
So the universe also expandsand evolves and I know that the
whole forget about it and itwill come that that works for
sure.
And I also know from experiencenow, because I've been playing
(28:57):
with this for a while, that Ican have the desire come into
fulfillment when I'm notattached so I can be like,
playfully, play with it, becausewhen I'm like it has to happen,
that's not that's attachment.
I can still have the desire forthe money, for the guy, for the
(29:18):
whatever, without theattachment and going with it
playfully.
Just to say for anyone that'slistening and thinks but I have
to forget about it, then I can'tforget about it.
So it's not about you have toforget about.
It's about being open.
It's not being this person,being open to it not happening
(29:41):
next week, knowing that it willhappen and that it will be
someone really amazing, becausewe created ourselves.
So we're not going to putsomeone on our path and we're
like, okay, I'm just going tochoose you because apparently
that's no, it's someone speakingabout love that we will really
like and we need to get.
(30:03):
We, we need to butt out likewho it is, we can still enjoy
and play, but the whole idea isplay, play.
Yeah, let it be fun yes, yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
And to your point about you, don't.
It's not to say that you needto forget about it, because when
it comes up, when it comes intoyour mind and it feels good and
it's fun to think about it,great.
But the moment it's like itfeels a little wobbly and not so
fun to think about it.
(30:36):
Pivot, think about somethingelse, get a calibration if it
won't go away, this yuckyfeeling.
But feeling good is the mainthing.
Yeah, yeah, and so you don'thave to forget about it.
And you can also visualize.
I love visualization.
I do want to ask you a questionabout law of assumption in a
(30:56):
second.
And you can visualize about it.
That is so powerful.
Like, just take five minutesand just see yourself there with
your beloved.
He could have a face, he couldhave a name, or he or they, or
them or she, and just like baskin that, see it, experience it
(31:18):
as if it's happening right now,pre-pave it, write it in your
journal and just knowing that.
Okay, also, I'm not going to beattached to a certain specific
result, let it unfold.
However, it unfolds.
Yes, yeah, exactly, yeah.
So let me ask you about the lawof assumption.
(31:39):
And here's why I want to askthat because I have a friend.
It was a while ago.
She was telling me about howshe wanted this specific guy.
Yeah, she had gone out with himand then they broke up.
He broke up with her and thenshe told me that she's using law
of assumption to get him back.
(32:01):
And I thought that wasinteresting because that sounds
a little bit like attachment tome.
Again, I want that specificperson, but she was swearing by
the law of assumption, which iswhere is that from?
Again, is that Neville Gardardor yes.
And so can you talk a little bitabout the law of assumption.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
So what would you like to know specifically?
Speaker 2 (32:24):
She was writing out things as if they were already
done.
Yeah, so you're assuming, whichI love.
Act as if is it the same thingLike for me, I might prepay and
write out everything as if it'salready happened.
Talk about it like it'shappening.
Oh, I want a second house.
This is true.
I want a second house like avacation rental, so I could go
(32:46):
ahead in my journal and writedown we have our second property
and we're renting it out.
It's making us so much money.
We also get to go and stay init, so is that law of assumption
?
Speaker 1 (32:59):
That is, it is law, that is law of assumption, and
so different teachers call itdifferent things.
With regards to specific people, there's an interesting I'm not
sure if you can say dichotomy,like there are different camps
of people.
One says it's possible, theother say it's not possible, and
(33:20):
I have a take on it.
That's in the middle.
I believe that it's possible,for sure you can manifest a
specific person.
There is a but to it, however.
So when?
Because this is how I got intoNeville Goddard because I wanted
and I needed this person back.
(33:42):
I was extremely attached to it.
It was not healthy, was notgood for my health, and it's all
fine because, in the grandscheme of things, it got me to
where I am now and I've beenthrough all the ups and downs
that you can think of.
I've been there, I'vemanifested crazy success in
there and also crashed andburned many times.
(34:03):
So connecting the dotsbackwards because that's what I
love to do Like I'm hyper awareof what I'm using, what
teachings I'm using and theresults that I'm seeing.
So now, thinking and lookingback and feeling back, I already
knew viscerally that it was notgood what I was doing, because
(34:27):
every time I was busy with thelaw of assumption and every time
I was super focused on him, mybody would feel off.
And now I understand what itwas.
It was my body that said cut itout.
He's not the one, stop it.
I didn't want to listen becauseI wanted what I wanted, I would
(34:49):
say, because everyone has thissystem.
We all have a body and we allhave an inner being which speaks
to us through our feelings andour intuition.
So whenever you do the law ofassumption and you feel like
this is what I want toexperience, go for it If it
feels good.
If it feels good, do it it also.
(35:13):
If it doesn't feel good, do itbecause you will reap the fruits
of the labor in any case, likeit will be bitter fruits or
there will be sweet fruit.
Do whatever.
It's how your body responds toyou.
So the law of assumption is athing, it is real and it works.
And the question is do you wantit to work because you're
(35:36):
attached or do you want it towork because this is really your
path?
Speaker 2 (35:45):
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, and being open to whatever unfolds,
because your inner being, yourhigher self, whatever you want
to call it, knows the wholepicture.
And we don't necessarily knowthe whole picture, and that's
why listening to your body islike listening to your intuition
(36:06):
, which knows it's guiding you.
Your body is alwayscommunicating to you and I love
how you keep weaving that in,because that is just such a
wonderful way to accessintuition as well that your body
knows, yes or no.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
Yeah, and our higher self speaks through the inner
being with us, like it's atrinity the higher self on the
mountaintop this is Bashar'sanalogy the higher self is on a
mountaintop, the personalityself, me, body is in the valley,
(36:43):
and then the inner being is thelink between the two.
So the inner being is attachedto both, to the higher self on
the mountaintop.
It's like that string on aballoon and that's how it
communicates through to me thepersonality better not, yeah,
but I want you, yeah, but betternot.
And it's all fine, becausethere are no there, nothing goes
(37:07):
wrong.
It's just sometimes I think now, oh, what a waste of time.
And I also know perfect,apparently I needed that time.
And now I just know next time Iwill listen sooner, or actually
there won't be a next time,because there's a whole
different way that I look at allof these things now.
There'll be a new time.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Yeah, a new experience.
So what would you say tosomeone listening who is dating
and would like to either findsomeone a companion, or would
like to find a significant lifepartner or just someone to have
(37:49):
some fun with and spend timewith, have a romance, have some
excitement?
What would you say to someonewho is really has a strong
desire for all of that?
What are some?
I want to say tips, but I don'teven know if that's the right
word because we're in ametaphysical law of attraction-y
kind but, from that viewpoint,not like dating tips, so to
(38:13):
speak but there are tips, thereare metaphors, the new rules
let's call them the new rules.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
The new rules are no rules.
So if you're not at that pointyet where you can tune in
clearly yourself because Ilisten very attentively and I
have a breathing practice that Ido sometimes once a day, mostly
a couple of times a day, andalways to tune in okay, what
wants to be, what wants to makeitself known to me, if you're
(38:42):
not there yet yourself, I don'tknow if it's intuition or if
it's fear, or if it's someoneelse collective consciousness,
or if it's fear or if it'ssomeone else collective
consciousness then I would sayfollow.
Do you feel good?
Does thinking of dating feelgood?
If not, there might besomething to work through and
you can figure that out innumerous ways.
(39:05):
There are people that can helpyou with that.
If you meet someone because Ithink some people say don't go
online dating but if it'sinspired action, I met people
through online dating.
That was super inspired action.
It was like, yes, and you canalso sense through the
inter-ethers, because everythingis energy in the end, and it
(39:28):
doesn't matter if someone'sonline or if someone's standing
next to you.
You can sense into it, feel, dothey feel good or is there
something that says not sure.
Listen to that.
Listen to and, most of all,make it playful.
It's not serious.
We're making all of this stuffso serious, and I've been one of
(39:50):
these people, and sometimes Istill am, and I constantly
remind myself this is playful,it's fun yeah yes, and I want
that person and it needs tohappen.
That's not playful.
Yeah, at all.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
Yeah, I, my God.
When I was single, I had thisplatonic friend and we were
talking about dating all thetime because we were both single
and we started writing a booktogether.
I was so into this, it wasreally good, it was a good book,
but I never published it.
It was about how to.
(40:30):
I don't even know what wecalled it, but it was about
having a certain amount of leadsin the hopper, like a sales
term, because my problem at thetime, or my challenge, was I
would get attached, I would goout on a date and if I really
liked the guy, I would be one ofthose women who would be
waiting by the phone for them tocall, so codependent, very
(40:53):
attached to someone that I liked.
And so we found a solution tothat.
We said if you have multipleleads in the hopper, like you're
talking to multiple people, notnecessarily you're intimate
with all of them.
And actually we said just beintimate with one of them so
(41:13):
you're getting your needs met,so you're not so desperate when
you're actually out on a date.
So it was all these like gamesand rules, and at the time this
was a long time ago, and so thisbook was really fun and it
actually helped me because Ifound myself not being so
(41:34):
attached and codependent when Ididn't meet somebody that I
liked, because I was talking tosome other people just talking
or chatting online or whatever,or actually going on dates, and
so that I wasn't all my what didwe call it?
All our eggs weren't in onebasket, so to speak At the time.
That was very helpful to mebecause it helped me not be so
(41:59):
codependent with that one personand just let things evolve.
And then eventually I did meetsomeone by just continually over
time, releasing more and moreresistance and loving myself,
which the journey led to moregoing within.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Eventually, what I can say, because I would love to
respond to what you said beforeand it inspired something that
I would love to say about that.
So it's not about poo-pooing onany rules or things that people
do, because it's about whateverfeels good and, if you feel
really comfortable, safer, ifyou would have five what was the
(42:43):
term you used?
Speaker 2 (42:46):
Leads in the hopper.
I can't remember what we werecalling it, but it's like a
sales term, yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
I know hopper, I know whopper, but okay.
So if that feels good to you,it's fine, yeah.
Where it becomes problematicbecause it's still not a problem
, but where it becomesproblematic is if you feel like
you have to strategize, becauseotherwise, abc, because that's
not what it's about.
(43:13):
It's about and, as I said, likethere are multiple ways to roam
, which is your way, my way isthe easy way, like the.
Okay, I've got me.
I've got this because for me,if I I would go in the rule, a
whole rule book, then wheneverything goes to pieces, then
(43:38):
who's going to pick me up?
Not me, because I've brokendown, because the rules didn't
work.
Do you know what I mean?
I'm working on having my ownback.
I'm having my own back.
I'm fulfilled and whole withinme.
I'm working on having my ownback.
I'm having my own back.
I'm fulfilled and whole withinme.
I'm playing, I'm lookingforward to play with someone
else and that, yeah.
(44:00):
So that is, if anyone takesanything from this interview on
dating is follow what feels goodand play, have fun.
Flirt my God, I've beenflirting my head off.
It's amazing.
Is follow what feels good andplay, have fun.
Flirt my God, I've beenflirting my head off.
It's amazing I'm finallyallowing myself.
I figured out so many thingsthat I was believing that was
(44:25):
just like, ah, interesting,where did that come from?
And not necessarily that I needto know.
It's just so nice to just notmind.
Ciao, what's that?
No, not thinking that either.
So I'm giving myself permissionto be fully free and fully me
and I'm enjoying all of theattention and whatnot.
What comes with that?
Speaker 2 (44:44):
I just love this topic because obviously, if I
wrote a book about it, I wasreally interested in the whole
thing.
And it's funny because I wasreally.
It was like a game.
I was having so much funmeeting different people and all
of that.
And then on Matchcom which Idon't even know if that still
(45:05):
exists, which I don't even knowif that still exists but then
the way that I met my husbandwas just not through any action,
just showing up at theseparties, these pool parties, and
he wasn't even on my radar.
It was just like he was thereand was just like some guy, and
(45:26):
then we wound up together.
And then we wound up together.
And so it's just so funny howthe universe or we are the
universe is orchestrating theevents.
You can't, even if you tried,you couldn't plan it out, like
as good as that.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
I have so many stories, rhonda, of like how,
because everyone that I datedwas a perfect manifestation of a
really strong desire.
And my very first boyfriend.
I had been in love with him fortwo years.
I had him seen play basketballin the school gym and he was one
(46:05):
of the most popular guys inschool and everyone was like him
, forget, look at you, look athim.
Like literally right, that'swhat people yeah, that you know
how it goes in school likepeople are not really mindful,
yeah, they say, in any case, twoyears later he was my boyfriend
and it all came together in thecraziest beautiful way.
(46:29):
And so I also wrote out a lotof these stories and I made
videos about them becausethey're so nice to share, and I
had not have been able to thinkup how we would eventually meet
and come together.
I didn't know anything aboutmanifesting then.
How old was I?
(46:50):
14, almost 15.
And he was 18.
So you know this beautifulblonde guy, blue eyes.
I saw pictures of him recently.
I thought, oh, I would totallyfall for you again.
Speaker 2 (47:04):
Where was this?
Where did you grow up?
In Germany, no, in.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
Horden in Holland.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
I was born in South America, grew up in Holland, in
Horden, and so it is sobeautiful when we just get out
of the way and you know what,like one thing that I know, and
that's also what Oprah said, orRamona said when I interviewed
her about this, because I alsointerviewed Ramona on dating
focus on things that you love.
(47:32):
And I remember that I was everynight I was just like, oh,
gideon I thought his name wasGideon, it turned out to be
different.
Then I made a drawing on mywall and I put something on top
of it so no one would see it,and my mom and and I was only
thinking this loving thoughtsbecause I didn't know him yet,
so I didn't know if he had notloving things.
(47:53):
And so we came together becauseit was just pure open-hearted
love.
It was just only like a blastof love that constantly went to
this guy, without attachmentreally, because when you're so
young, I don't think I thinkthere's way less attachment.
Yeah, and you know what, ronnie,you said if dating tips one,
(48:16):
one other important thing that Igot from my interview with
ramona and which she also saidin another interview she did
about dating only focus onpositive aspects of all the men
you dated in the past, or women.
Only focus on positive aspects.
Don't go.
Nah, I don't want that again,because you will attract it for
sure and you will be like huh,why is this happening?
(48:39):
Yeah, because you're focusingon it, dummy.
So only focus on things youlike of your ex-partners and
focus on things that you wouldlove to see again, and all the
things that you didn't like notimportant Gone.
No, only the positive.
Speaker 2 (48:58):
I love that Save the date.
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happening.
Ramona Gailey and I have a dateand location for our one-day
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(49:18):
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Many call this channeling.
This is a hot seat formatsimilar to one you would see at
(49:39):
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with ample opportunities tointeract directly with Oprah and
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And as the author of DeliciousAlignment, I will be
facilitating a workshop, a onehour workshop focused on self
love, body love and celebratingour food.
(50:02):
There are only 20 spotsavailable and registration will
open this month, so stay tunedfor more details.
And what do you think aboutmaking a list of things that you
would like in a partner likeyour must-haves and your
negotiables?
I think it's good to haveclarity.
Speaker 1 (50:23):
Yeah, I think our inner being and our higher
selves, like God already knows,right, we don't have to keep
repeating I want this, he knowswhat suits.
But, and it can also be funLike it can be fun to focus on
it and make a list, and thishappened a couple of times, that
the list just came what?
(50:44):
And then I found out like, ohyeah, it's everything on the
list, but it's actually notreally what I wanted.
So I would say do what floatsyour boat.
If it feels good, do it.
And I would say also goqualities over, like emotional
qualities, because, duh, ofcourse they need to be pretty or
handsome, you need to beattracted to them because
(51:05):
otherwise To you.
Speaker 2 (51:07):
Yes, you need to be attracted.
I would say that's important.
But again, it's reallyotherwise to you.
Yes, you need to be tracked.
Speaker 1 (51:14):
I would say that's important but again, it's really
up to you.
What feels good to you, yeah,yeah, but the whole brown hair,
brown eyes only I would go forit if it feels good.
But I would leave that openbecause I know of a lot of
people that said, yeah, I endedup with so and so only not my
type on paper, but I'm so inlove with them.
So just give yourself morewiggle room because you're
(51:35):
creating it.
Speaker 2 (51:36):
Yeah, I like the list .
I think clarity is reallyimportant for when you want to
manifest things that you wantagain, without attachment to a
specific thing.
But the clarity gives you power.
It's oh, I want a relationshipand these are the things that
(52:02):
are important to me.
Non-negotiable.
I think negotiables andnon-negotiables are important
too.
I think negotiables andnon-negotiables are important
too because, again, I've beendivorced once and so, yeah, wish
I had those non-negotiables inthere for the first marriage and
(52:23):
also, knowing that nothing'swrong here, there's no mistakes,
everything's perfect, and I gotmy daughter out of that
relationship.
But looking back, yeah, if Ihad gone with my non-negotiables
, I probably wouldn't havegotten married to that person.
And so I think it's powerful tohave a clarity about what you
(52:48):
want and, again, not focusingtoo much on the non-negotiables
but go, oh, I don't want, Idefinitely don't want anybody
that smokes cigarettes.
Okay, oh, meet somebody theysmoke cigarettes.
I definitely want somebody whois has certain amount of
financial stability.
If I was to be single yeah,let's just say I was single I
(53:11):
would have my list, mepersonally, because that feels
good to me.
If that doesn't feel good toyou, then don't worry about it.
I met with a friend recentlyand she said I don't care about
the money, I have money, I don'tcare about it.
I'm like, okay, because I washelping her kind of make that
(53:32):
list in a way in her own mind,just while I was trying to find
out, cause she was asking me foradvice, which is weird because
I don't really give adviceanymore.
It's let me talk to your innerbeing and all the answers are
within you.
But yes.
So what else would you like tosay to anybody listening that
(53:54):
would like to find their dude ortheir dudette?
Speaker 1 (53:57):
or their they.
It is possible for you.
If the desire, when the desireis there, it is possible.
Period, because that was a longtime.
It was my fear.
Maybe it's not possible for me.
Now I know that it is.
(54:17):
I'm just sifting and sortinglike that and the interesting
thing is I integrate energiesreally quickly at the moment.
So what I think I want in apartner, I meet it pretty
quickly, we dance together andthen I'm like huh, no, not
interested anymore, and so Idon't need to have physical
(54:39):
intimacy for that, it's just anintegration of something that I
know I need.
And so I would say, and I sayit is possible for you, and you
will meet them when you'rehaving the most fun, like when
you feel happy and joyful enough.
(55:01):
So, happy and joyful enough,you will meet the person and you
won't go into oh my God, whatif they fall away?
Because then you're inattachment and you need someone
to into.
Oh my God, what if they fallaway?
Because then you're inattachment and you need someone
to make you feel whole.
So make sure that you're firstat that point that you're like
you know what?
It would be really awesome tomeet that person, because I feel
(55:21):
I'm ready.
And not because I've been therefor a while it's been so long.
I don't want to meet anyone inthat state, because when there's
someone in my life I will holdon to them for dear life and for
sure they will run, because whowants that?
Speaker 2 (55:38):
Because it's true, you, I've been there where I
feel so lonely.
I just want, I want thatspecial.
Where's my person?
I started at 13 years old withthat conversation.
Where's my person?
I started at 13 years old withthat conversation just boy,
crazy, and wanting to be in loveand wanting to have that
experience and it was likeeverything.
(55:59):
And, of course, as you getolder, you realize that my
happiness is within me.
I'm the only one responsible formy happiness and I think of my
dear friends Karen MoneyWilliams and Mark Toms.
They're from Florida, they runand they still.
They started another AbrahamHicks group where people
(56:22):
actually get together and have ameeting and I went there for 10
years when they were havingthat and I always think about
their relationship because hewould always say I'm the
luckiest guy in the world andshe, karen, lets me know I'm not
responsible for her happinessand I just love it when they
share that and they.
(56:44):
He's not responsible for herhappiness, she's responsible for
her happiness.
So he's off the hook.
And I learned a lot from thatbecause in the beginning of my
marriage, a lot of times I wouldmake my husband responsible.
I'm not going to lie.
I would make him responsiblefor my happiness happiness when
(57:14):
I let go, stopped trying tocontrol him and just knew that
I'm responsible for my happiness, not him.
The relationship got better.
I'm sure he appreciates thatvery much I know he does and, oh
my God.
They have such a beautifulrelationship and I am so
thankful that I was able to gothere for 10 years and just see
them and see how they do things,how they really walk the living
(57:38):
.
Speaker 1 (57:39):
It's also.
It's super attractive.
I find people that are centeredwithin themselves so attractive
and, of course, you can getinto your sexually cute as well.
So attractive, and of course,you can get into your sexually
cute as well.
Yeah, it's I.
I like it's been.
Especially the guys that I meetare all these really?
They're gym dudes, they'restrong, fit men and then,
(58:01):
noticing that they can get shy,like, oh, that's so touching
they can get shy.
Speaker 2 (58:07):
Yeah, yes, of course, oh, so sweet, yeah.
And I think again to your pointthat when you focus on yourself
and having fun, you willattract open the door and
(58:28):
they'll be waiting online likefor you.
They're waiting on the site totalk to you and maybe not like
that, maybe they'll show up atyour door.
Sarah landon I remember she'ssharing how she says her uh
partner.
He literally showed up on herdoor because he's a veterinarian
and I guess he was showing upfor the horses or to something
(58:53):
like that.
I don't know the exact story,but he literally showed up on
her tour.
That is amazing.
Speaker 1 (59:01):
It's so interesting to me because what I noticed is
that people come to me and I'mjust like, yeah, but what about
these people that come to me?
Don't they want someone thatcome to me?
Don't they want someone to cometo them?
Do?
Speaker 2 (59:12):
you mean these guys that come to you, don't they
want somebody to come to them?
Speaker 1 (59:18):
Exactly.
I was just wondering, like howis it for them?
But because they this is anassumption they are men and men.
They say men like to chase, butthen, at the same time, I think
men also like to be wooed.
Speaker 2 (59:35):
I actually like that question because with me, with
my husband even though, like, hethrew me in the pool, that was
obviously his way of flirtingand I would see him at the
seminars we met at landmarkeducation and he would flirt,
but then he never asked me outand I was getting very
(59:57):
frustrated like why?
Because I had that thought inmy head that the guy should ask
me out.
That's what I want.
I want the guy to ask me out.
But I would see him at thesepool parties and sometimes I
would bring my kids and he wouldhang out with my kids and give
them so much attention and justbe so wonderful with my kids.
(01:00:17):
That's way to a single mom'sheart is be nice to her kids.
And so I was baffled and Ididn't understand.
So finally I just asked him himout and the rest is history.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (01:00:36):
Now tell me more.
How did that go?
Were you nervous, Like when?
What happened?
Were you at a pool party?
Give us the deets, Rhonda.
Speaker 2 (01:00:44):
Oh, okay, now there you go.
Okay, this is fun.
Speaker 1 (01:00:48):
I love this stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:00:49):
Yes, now, there you go.
Okay, this is fun I love.
Yes, I really I guess kind ofold school in a way where I
wanted the guy to pursue me, andso I had an experience a couple
of experiences, though where Ijust I asked a guy out twice,
like two different people, andit didn't work out so great.
(01:01:10):
I was working in a corporateworld and I felt like this man
kept staring at me and he wasvery nice, I liked him and he
worked in the IT department, buthe never asked me out.
So then I finally asked him out, and then he was offended.
I would never frat withsomebody that I work with, and
it it was just so horrible toget that rejection.
(01:01:32):
I was like, oh my to putyourself out there.
I don't normally go aroundasking people out, so it was.
It was really not devastating,but definitely hurt.
Yeah, it burned and but I stillwith this thing with my husband
, I still still, after a whileI'm like.
I know he likes me, I know it.
(01:01:54):
So I just couldn't take itanymore.
Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
I just asked him out, yeah, but yes, and I love it,
but were you at the pool party?
Was it at Landmark Education?
Do you remember this?
Speaker 2 (01:02:07):
Oh, yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, education, do you
remember this?
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh,okay, so you really.
I have to tell this storybecause at the pool party where
another time it was adults andwe were playing truth or dare
and someone dared they were, Idon't know, I guess they were
(01:02:29):
picking up on something betweenus where I hadn't picked up on
it at all.
I was in the pool, he wassitting outside of the pool and
I was.
I just had this thought, likewhat's wrong with that guy?
Why doesn't he go in the poolwith everybody else?
And that was about the extentof it.
That's, that's it.
But somebody, this lady friend,must have picked up on
something because we're playingtruth and dare.
(01:02:51):
And so she dared him to makeout with me.
So I was like this I washanging over the side of the
pool, I was in the pool, and sowhen she dared him to make out
with me this is my memory, hetells it differently he ran over
to make out with me.
He this is my memory, he tellsit differently he ran over to
(01:03:12):
make out with me and we made out, and then I was like, oh, hello
, oh, and who are you like?
That was like a nice kiss and Ilove it, yeah.
So then, even after all, hestill didn't ask me out.
So I was like after that andthen so it was a few more times
(01:03:34):
of stuff getting together,seeing him in a group scenario.
We all went to the movies in agroup, we all did this as a
group was always group.
And then finally I had thisparty to go to was a Halloween
party, costume party.
So I just thought I wasn'tnervous, I just thought I'm just
going to ask him to go with meto the party.
(01:03:56):
And he said yes.
So we, yeah, we didn't get crazywith the costumes, but I think
I was like a vampire and he waslike a nerd, which he is anyway.
So we had these, the whiteshirt with pens sticking out of
the pocket.
I thought you were going to saynurse, but you said Nerd, yeah,
which he is.
He's a yeah, so a computer guy,techie, so.
(01:04:19):
And then we've been togetherever since.
But yes, so I didn't give up.
I mean I followed my innerguidance.
Even though the one guyrejected me when I asked him out
, I still was following myguidance and I think I was into
I was definitely intospirituality and I just said,
screw it, I'm just gonna ask,I'm just gonna ask him to the
(01:04:40):
party and yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
And you know what, when you were saying that this
guy at work reacted in that way,I'm just like, yeah, what?
Always when people because I'vehad it in the streets a couple
of times that people just walkup to me to ask me out and never
been that I thought, oh, Iwould like to go out with you
and I always say, wow, thank youfor having the courage to do
(01:05:08):
that, because I can imaginethat's pretty nerve-wracking.
And then I go into the, I'mflattered but I'm not interested
, and I think it's amazing whensomeone has the guts to do that.
Yeah, I applaud that.
I'm just like, wow, good on yougoing for what he wants.
Speaker 2 (01:05:27):
Yes, really.
And when you think about it inmy world I don't know what it's
like now.
Obviously everything'sdifferent, but in my world it
was traditional.
I was more traditional in thesense that the guy asked the
girl out.
Now we have different pronouns.
I respect all of that Inwhatever way, but I think still,
(01:05:51):
like you said, it takes someguts when I think about in the
past the guys having to usuallydo the asking.
Even going to clubs when I wasyounger and waiting around for
somebody to ask you to dance.
I could dance with mygirlfriends, but other than that
(01:06:12):
I felt like a wallflower.
You just have to wait forsomebody to ask me to dance.
I'm sure it's very differentnow and I hated that.
I hate that part of going toclubs.
Speaker 1 (01:06:23):
Yeah, I know what you mean and you know what.
Because this whole new way ofbeing, because when we are in a
playful light mode, things justwork differently.
Because I also take inspiredaction when I feel it.
It has to be really inspired,though.
I have to feel the surge.
For the rest, I'm just happyingmyself into more happiness and
(01:06:48):
vibrancy, not to get something,but simply because it feels
better and the great thing is,things do happen from that.
Speaker 2 (01:06:57):
Yes, I can't tell you how many times I've had this
conversation with girlfriendsover the years.
I want to meet somebody.
I want to meet somebody.
I'm not meeting anybody andit's just go have some.
Just do what interests you,follow the yes, your highest
(01:07:18):
excitement.
Just do these things thatinterest you.
It's in my belief that persondon't worry, the universe knows
what you want.
Speaker 1 (01:07:27):
And because you can't orchestrate it like I did, all
the online dating stuff but Ididn't meet my husband that way
yeah, you know, and I also didonline dating and I had some
really cool boyfriends from that, and never the man, because it
was always out of frustrationthat I went on to dating sites.
(01:07:50):
It was never from Ooh, I likethis so much, I just want to
meet someone.
So what do you get?
Someone that's actually a matchto that energy.
Speaker 2 (01:08:03):
Yeah, it's like with anything right, the energy you
bring to it go into it with, andthere's nothing wrong with it,
I'm just yeah, that's not mygame anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:08:13):
I'm going for high vibe.
Speaker 2 (01:08:14):
Yes I'm going for high vibe.
Yes, this has been so much fun.
We could talk about this foranother couple of hours, this.
I really enjoyed thisconversation, which I knew I
would.
Me too, I too, I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:08:29):
I love this stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:08:30):
Yes, and we look forward to hearing what's next
for you on your journey.
And so I'd like to ask you,victoria, because we didn't
really get a chance to talkabout anything like what you're
up to Are you a coach?
I know you're multifaceted aswe often are.
Are you a coach?
(01:08:51):
I know you're multifaceted aswe often are, so tell me
whatever it is that you like tolet people know about what you
do and how they can find you.
Speaker 1 (01:08:58):
Yes, so I do, as you said, a couple of things.
I have a vegan lipstick brandwhich I put a link in the
description if people areinterested in knowing more about
that, because I have a link inthe description, if people are
interested in knowing more aboutthat, because I have a website
and this is a whole long storyfor a whole different time and I
will speak to Bo tomorrow aboutit, actually about the lipstick
(01:09:20):
.
Speaker 2 (01:09:21):
Oh, timothy Waterman.
Yeah, okay, how can people findyou?
Speaker 1 (01:09:27):
I will give you my Instagram handles.
I think that's the easiest,because I also have a website
with a blog with a lot ofarticles on this.
I have a YouTube channel with alot of videos and if people are
interested in finding out moreabout me, then they can just
follow their guidance and clickwhatever feels good.
Speaker 2 (01:09:48):
Okay, so what is your Instagram handle?
Speaker 1 (01:09:52):
Ah, you want me to mention it now.
So my full name.
It's pretty long.
Speaker 2 (01:10:00):
Okay, so I will put all of the links in the show
notes and you can find Victoriathat way, just her YouTube
channel and her Instagram andall of that great stuff, cause
she has a really long name andjust it'd be easy just to click
on the link.
Wonderful.
Speaker 1 (01:10:17):
Yeah, exactly yeah.
Thank you for having me and for, yeah, letting me give my side
perspective on things.
And if it feels good forwhoever listens, take it.
If it doesn't leave it, Alwaysgo like that.
Speaker 2 (01:10:37):
Yeah, exactly.
Thank you so much, victoria.
Thank you for having me.
I hope you enjoyed this episode.
I don't know if you can tell,but I really had a blast talking
to Victoria, and if you'd liketo get in touch with her, one of
the best ways you can do thatis on her YouTube channel at
(01:10:57):
Victoria-Monique.
Just go to YouTube and searchVictoria Monique.
I'll also post that link andall her links, including her
website and Instagram handles,in the description below.
And here are a few ways you canconnect with me.
You can go to my website,deliciousalignmentcom.
(01:11:19):
You can join my Facebook group,delicious Alignment, and, if
you enjoyed this content, youcan make sure to subscribe to
this podcast or my YouTubechannel, or both.
It's the podcast, episodes areon both, so you'll never miss an
episode, and you can alsofollow me on Instagram at
Delicious Alignment.
Well, that's it for today, myfriend.
(01:11:41):
I will see you next time.
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