November 14, 2024 • 44 mins
Embark on a journey of self-discovery and transformation as we explore the art of intentional self-care. What does it take to truly prioritize your well-being in a world that demands so much of you? In this episode of Demo with Mo, I share my personal self-care journey that began in 2020 as a birthday tradition and has since become a way of life. This practice has not only rejuvenated my spirit but has also set a new standard for how I nurture both myself and my relationships. Tune in for heartfelt stories and insights that might just inspire you to start your own self-care challenge.
The past year has felt like navigating a battlefield, with the constant push to build healthy relationships and shed unhealthy ones. Through faith, family, and community support, I've found peace amidst chaos. A chance encounter at the Jackson airport during a Houston trip truly illuminated the power of divine intervention through strangers. Meet Nancy and Sissy, kindred spirits who turned a mundane flight into an extraordinary exchange of stories and wisdom. These interactions underscore a profound truth: self-care isn’t always about luxury; it's about confronting and embracing our own vulnerabilities.
Join me for a weekend filled with unexpected connections and heartening experiences that underscore the power of human kindness. From a delightful trip to a winery to an uplifting Uber ride with Myia, these moments remind us of the beauty in shared human experiences. As I recount these transformative encounters, I invite you to participate in our 30-day self-care challenge. Connect with me on Facebook at Demo with Mo, share your stories, and let's embark on this journey of rest and renewal together. Your self-care routine could be the change you didn’t know you needed.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
What's up, guys?
Welcome to Demo with Mo.
I'm your host, monique Simmons.
We'll be discussing dating,engaged and married objectives
from a young Christian'sperspective.
Are you guys ready?
Let's dive in.
Hey, what's up, guys?
Welcome to a new episode ofDemo with Mo.
(00:27):
I am your host, monique Simmons.
Today's episode is going to bea little different.
We're going to pivot just alittle bit from our usual
conversations, our usual topicsand discussions.
Each year, for the month ofNovember, I do a self-care
challenge for the whole month ofNovember to celebrate my
birthday.
(00:48):
This started back in Novemberof 2020.
The reason that I started thisself-care challenge was to hold
myself accountable and to beintentional with my own
self-care.
This year was the year Irealized that I was not
prioritizing myself.
I was not taking care of myself.
(01:09):
I was doing for everyone elsearound me, everyone else in my
life, but somewhere along theway I forgot about Monique.
And that was nobody else'sfault.
It was no one else'sresponsibility.
That was on no one else but me.
I thought there would be nobetter time than the month of
November, the time where you areto celebrate yourself for your
(01:32):
birthday, the time that you werebrought into this world, the
time that God gave you life tobegin to prioritize yourself, to
take care of yourself, tocelebrate yourself, and that's
what I did.
So it started with just thatone month, with being
(01:54):
intentional about self-care, andthen it spiraled into a way of
life.
I had no idea that that's whatwas going to happen, from me
just being intentional for thatone month on doing something for
myself every day for the wholemonth of November in 2020.
(02:25):
On my Demo with Mo Facebook page, so that I could be held
accountable Because if I'm goingto begin posting it there on
such a public platform, I wantto hold myself accountable to
making sure I do something everyday for myself, to make sure
that I'm posting it every day,to make sure that it's getting
done.
That was the accountable part.
Sure, that is getting done.
(02:48):
That was the accountable part.
The intentional part was for meto make sure that I'm doing
something that actually bringsme joy, that actually makes me
happy, something that matters tome.
In November of 2020, that's allI had.
That's as far as I had gottenwith just doing something each
day for those 30 days for thatmonth of November in 2020.
And now, in November 2024, overfour years later, here I am now
(03:15):
still doing it every year forthe whole month of November.
But not only am I doing it everyNovember, it's a way of life.
I don't wait to November eachyear to do self-care, to
prioritize myself, to beintentional about me, about
doing the things that bring mejoy, about facing my fears,
(03:38):
about making sure I take care ofmyself, about making sure I
fill my own cup up so I'm ableto give from the overflow of my
life and not giving from a placeof emptiness.
No, I'm doing it all the time,consistently.
That is who I am now.
That's a way of life for me.
(03:59):
But it all started from mebeing intentional in November of
2020.
And here we are now.
So each year I try to do a topic, a discussion, some kind of
episode around the topic ofself-care during the month of
(04:19):
November, just because that'show important it is to me.
So sometimes I pivot a littlebit from off the relationship,
the marriage, the datingdiscussions, just to focus on
self-care, just to let you intomy life just a little bit, to
tell you maybe what I did for myself-care that month, or maybe
(04:39):
self-care around the holidays,or maybe a trip that I took or
something around self-care andthat's kind of what I tend to do
each year sometime during themonth of November.
So I just wanted to give you alittle context of kind of how
did I get here today around asubject of self-care and kind of
the topic that we're going tobe discussing today, and why is
(05:01):
this topic so important to meand why we're not going to be
talking about, necessarily,relationships and marriage and
dating today.
I just wanted to give you alittle background in case this
is your first episode today,because I may have some new
listeners today and maybe youjumped in on this subject and
you're wondering how did I geton a relationship podcast and
(05:24):
the host is talking aboutself-care?
What did I find myself in today?
So I just wanted you to know.
This is kind of where we are.
It's something that I do eachyear and how we got here, and I
really hope today's episodeencourages you Maybe, if you
haven't been intentional aboutyour self-care and prioritizing
(05:46):
taking care of yourself anddoing those things that bring
you joy and bring happiness intoyour life and filling your own
cup up, because that is no one'sresponsibilities but yours.
That's something that I also hadto learn because I have not
always been good at self-care.
Again, I told you this startedin November of 2020.
(06:08):
Well, I was really intentionalabout the self-care and going on
my own journey within myselfand learning how to really take
care of myself and loving myselfand pouring into my own cup.
And you will learn once youbegin to do those things for
yourself.
You set the standard.
You teach people how to loveyou, how to treat you, how to
(06:30):
also do those things that yourequire, because you already do
that for yourself.
When you learn how to show upfor you, the people that come
into your life, the people thatare already in your life, they
see the standard that you havefor yourself.
They're going to also meet thatstandard or they're not going
to stay there alone because theyalready see that standard that
(06:51):
you have set for yourself.
So, each year, I celebrate mybirthday in a big way for me
anyway, because birthdays are ahuge deal to me, and not just my
birthday, my husband's birthday, our children's birthday.
I always celebrate ourbirthdays or try to celebrate
(07:12):
our birthdays in a major way.
This year, for my birthday, myhusband asked me if my birthday
was coming around, as we usuallydo, because my oldest
daughter's birthday is beforemine in September, so usually
around after her birthday, webegin to plan for my birthday.
I begin to plan for my birthdayand get my thinking cap on,
(07:34):
like, what do you want to dothis year, monique?
Because again, I told you I'mintentional about it.
So what do you want to do thisyear for your birthday?
Well, this year, for somereason, I hadn't really thought
about it and I'm mentioning thisbecause it's important to the
context of what I'm going to besharing today about my birthday
(07:56):
and self-care and my birthdaytrip and the things that I did
surrounding my birthday.
And again, this is stillNovember now, so I'm still
celebrating, but for thisparticular purpose of what I'm
sharing, this is important.
So I'm usually thinking aboutwhat I'm going to be doing for
my birthday.
Well, this year I really hadn'tbeen thinking about it, like it
(08:18):
just hadn't crossed my mind.
So my husband begins asking meas it's getting closer and I
haven't shared what I wanted formy birthday, which is not
normal for me.
I haven't shared what I wantedfor my birthday.
I hadn't shared what I wantedto do, what plans I have, who I
want to get together with.
(08:40):
I haven't shared anything.
The days are just going by, theweeks are passing by and I
haven't shared anything.
So my husband says well, whatdo you want to do for your
birthday?
And I said I wanted to thinkabout it.
And a few days passed by and Isaid you know what I really want
to do?
A chill birthday this year.
(09:00):
I really don't want much thisyear.
What I really want to do is Iwant to see my friends for my
birthday this year.
I really don't want much thisyear.
What I really want to do is Iwant to see my friends for my
birthday this year.
I don't want to do a lot, but Iknow I want to see my friends
and that was the one thing thatI told him.
That was the main thing that Iwanted.
(09:22):
So my friends and I have thisthing called the group chat and
if you've been around Demo withMo for a while, you've heard the
group chat.
You've heard them come on thepodcast and be guests on the
podcast as a group and asindividuals.
They've been on the on thepodcast before and you heard me
talk about them and referencethem as the group chat.
(09:43):
These are my very close friendsand I lovingly reference them
as the group chat because thisis how we've stayed in contact
over the years, even though mostof everyone in my my close
friend circle has moved out ofthe state of Mississippi where I
reside, and this is how we stayin contact with one another on
(10:07):
a consistent basis.
So I put a message in the groupchat.
I just kind of threw it outthere because, again, it's last
minute.
I haven't really put muchthought into it.
Many plans I usually plan verymuch in advance, especially for
something like this wanting toget together, want to travel.
I'm not a very last minuteperson when, especially for
something like this wanting toget together, want to travel.
I'm not a very last minuteperson when it comes to things
(10:29):
like this.
That's just not how I move.
But again, this is somethingthat was.
My birthday is very near to me,very near and dear to me.
So when I finally took time tothink about what I wanted to do
and being with my friends andseeing my friends was something
that I really, really wanted Ijust threw it out there and it
(10:49):
was one of those things.
If they were able to do it oh,that's dope, oh that's amazing,
it would make my heart full.
I would love nothing more.
But if they couldn't do it,that's okay, because this is
last minute.
I totally understand.
It's no love lost.
I know we'll get togetheranother time and it'll be fine.
(11:12):
I still be able to see them,even if we jumped on the Zoom
call to sing happy birthday.
I know that's something thatthey'll do.
It's no issue, this is lastminute.
They're all married, they'reall in relationships, they have
families, they have kids, theyhave jobs, they have lives.
It's fine.
Like you know, I'm totallyunderstanding all of these
(11:37):
things, but I said, let me justthrow it out there and just see,
because this is something thatI really would love, this is
something I really want.
I still want to cheer birthday,but if I could see my friends
even if not all of them, thosewho are available, those who
could come, those who could, forwhatever reason we could figure
(11:57):
out some way to get together, Iwould love nothing more.
So I put out in the group chatyou guys, my birthday's coming
up.
I would love if you guys could.
I would love for us to be ableto's coming up.
I would love if you got.
If you guys could.
I would love for us to be ableto get together.
I would love to see you guys.
You know, something like thatis what I put out there.
Well, a few of my friends textme individually, individually,
(12:19):
them not even getting togetherwith each other to know that
they reached out to me.
But they were like, you know, Iwould love to get together.
You know, what do you have inmind, like, what is it that you
want to do?
What are you trying to do?
Long story short.
So, after a few texts, a fewZoom calls, a few conversations,
(12:41):
a few reservations, a fewconversations, a few
reservations, we made it work.
We figured out one friend had adirect flight.
For another friend it wouldjust be a couple hours drive for
her, and we finally goteverything booked and planned
and we decided on.
(13:01):
I decided on going to Houstonbecause Houston would be a
direct flight for me as well,and I wanted to make it
convenient for everyone because,again, this was something that
they were doing for me.
I didn't want to inconvenienceanyone.
They were using their resources, they were using their time.
This was something they weretaking away from their spouses
(13:23):
and their families and their ownpersonal lives to spend time
with me for my birthday.
So I want to go back to myhusband and I want to shout out
my husband, because this meant alot to me, because my husband
originally he first asked mewhat I wanted to do for my
(13:46):
birthday and I told him I wouldlove to see my friends.
We originally planned to go outof town together, he and I.
But get out with someone inrelationship, partnership,
(14:10):
marriage, with someone who willsupport you and the things that
you desire, the things thatbring you joy, the things that
fill your cup, not only thethings that matter to them.
So my husband ended up takingme out to celebrate my birthday
(14:33):
because my birthday fell on aday that I would be out of town.
So he ended up taking me outbefore I left, the day before I
left, and we had an amazing time.
We had an amazing time.
So we went out and celebratedmy birthday the day before I
left and we had an amazing time.
(14:54):
We had an amazing time.
So we went out and celebratedmy birthday the day before and
we had a great time, and I endedup leaving the following
morning and he held down a fortwith our babies the whole
weekend while I was gone.
He supported me and given mewhat I needed to celebrate my
birthday, and the reason I'msaying this is because, as the
(15:19):
months and the weeks wereleading up to my birthday, I
told you guys earlier I couldnot figure out why I couldn't
put my finger on, why I had notbeen thinking about it, why I
had not been planning like I hadalways done in the years prior
Planning in advance, knowingexactly what I wanted, knowing
what I wanted to do, knowing whoI was going to be with, putting
(15:44):
the plans in motion.
All of these things would havebeen a plan months in advance
and, if not planned, I wouldhave known exactly what I wanted
to do months in advance.
But I didn't, and I could not,for the life of me, figure out
why until the week leading up toit.
(16:06):
This last year has been veryhard for me, very hard for me.
There has been some things,emotionally, that have
transpired in my life, that havebeen hard and difficult, and I
won't sit here and lie in frontand pretend that it hasn't been.
(16:27):
It's been a very hardtransition for me this past year
.
I have faced some hard thingsin my life that if it was not
for the grace of God, if it wasnot for the friendships that I
have and the relationships thatI have in my relationship with
(16:49):
God and the faith that I have inmy husband and our family, and
the community, my village, mycircle.
If it was not for these things,I don't know where I would be.
So I'm grateful.
Be so, I'm grateful.
(17:09):
And it was the week leading upto my birthday where it was like
the light came on, that it waslike this past year.
I was tired.
It was like, if I had todescribe it, it was like being
(17:35):
in battle, being in war and youfinally coming out and you're
just tired that you and youfinally in a place where you're
not fighting anymore and don'tget me wrong, being in a great
place, being in a great place.
(17:57):
But it's like your body isfinally now resting because
you're not fighting anymore,you're not at war anymore, you
don't have to have a shield onfor a little while.
Your body is now, can just restin it.
And that's how it felt.
If I had to describe it, that'swhat it felt like the last year
(18:22):
, and even longer than a year,if I'm being completely honest
like to be fighting and not like, if you are a Christian, if you
are a believer.
We are constantly at war, weare constantly in spiritual
warfare.
So I hope you understand whatI'm saying.
(18:45):
But it was like for over a yearto be always to be unpacking
something, to be working atbuilding healthy relationships,
(19:08):
to be working at buildinghealthy relationships, to be not
allowing unhealthy dynamicsanymore.
It's just to finally be at aplace where you're not fighting
(19:33):
anymore and your body can justyou can just breathe, your body
can race, and that's how I felt.
So, getting back to the tripand I do want to say this before
I dive into the trip Self-careis not always pretty.
(19:53):
Self-care is not always what yousee on social media.
Self-care is becoming a betterversion of yourself and
sometimes there's going to besome tears.
Sometimes there's going to besome hard work.
Sometimes there's going to bepulling yourself up out the mud.
Sometimes there's going to besome tears.
Sometimes that's going to besome hard work.
Sometimes that's going to bepulling yourself up out the mud.
Sometimes that's going to beconfessing and repenting of some
(20:15):
things that aren't right.
Sometimes that's going to begetting rid of some negative and
toxic relationships in yourlife.
Sometimes that's going to belooking at yourself in the
mirror and saying saying you arethe unhealthy person and what
can I do to become healthy?
Self-care is not always pretty,so after being in the last year
(20:40):
over a year being in that place,where I felt like I was
fighting in the war and doing ahard, hard, dirty, grimy work of
sanctification and being whoGod wants me to be Woo, I got on
(21:04):
a flight heading to Houston,and I was on the flight by
myself, heading to Houston fromJackson, jackson, mississippi,
and I met these ladies and I dowant to tell you guys I usually
don't give names on my podcastand don't talk about people, but
these are people that I don'tknow personally and because they
(21:24):
impacted my life in such amajor way, god used each one of
these people to bless metremendously.
If it ever comes across them,if they ever hear this, I want
them to personally know how Godused each and every one of them
to bless my life.
So I will be using names.
So I'm on a flight headed toHouston and when I got to the
(21:50):
airport, the airport in Jacksonwas backed up tremendously.
They literally called my flightto board to Houston twice and I
was still in line, but it wasso many people in line headed to
Houston because this was anissue with Jackson airport.
It was no fault of thepassengers that they could not
leave us.
(22:11):
There were so many people thatwere not on the flight that they
could not leave us because anissue that Jackson was having
with their airport.
Whatever their issue was, Icannot tell you, but just know
that we were still in linewaiting and they had called to
board our flight twice.
Okay, so by the time I made itto my flight headed to Houston
(22:32):
and I'm getting ready to sitdown, there were two beautiful
women already sitting down, andI love a window seat, so I do
want to say that there was awindow seat available by these
two beautiful women and I askedthem I good morning, how are you
ladies?
Because I'm already in a greatmood.
My flight boarded at 5 20, soit was almost 6 am.
(22:57):
If, yeah, it was almost 6 amand we said we exchanged our
good mornings and I sat downwith these two beautiful ladies,
and these ladies name is Nancyand Sissy.
Nancy was in the middle seatand Sissy was on the end and I
was on the window seat.
Well, I sit down.
(23:19):
I put my earbuds in because,again, I'm by myself.
So I just planned on beingcomfortable and just you know,
cause this is my first flight bymyself, so I didn't know what
to expect, cause I'm usuallytalking to whoever I'm with, but
again I'm by myself, so I putmy earbuds in and I'm finding a
(23:40):
good movie to watch and I'mthinking this is going to be it
until I make it to Houston.
Boy, was I wrong?
So Nancy, who is a 75-year-oldwoman who does not look 75 at
all, absolutely gorgeous, andshe begins to talk to me and she
(24:06):
asks me my name, where I'm from, and just questions, just you
know, getting to know me and mylife.
And I began to ask herquestions and get to know her
and her life and it was just abreath of fresh air.
I can't put it any other way.
Me being who I am, I don't meeta stranger.
I will literally talk to anyone.
(24:28):
If you were to talk to myfriend group, the group chat, as
I refer to them, they will tellyou.
They always joke, becausewhenever we ride in the Uber
together or we go to arestaurant or we hang out, I'm
going to be the person to findout someone's life story.
We will literally get in theUber.
It will start off with measking somebody's name and by
(24:50):
the time we're getting out ofthe car I will then have prayed
for the driver or know theirparents, known any illnesses in
the family, I will know theirwhole life story.
I mean, I just love people inthat way.
I cannot help it.
I just cannot help it.
So Nancy is the me in herfriend group.
I mean, I just love people inthat way.
(25:10):
I cannot help it.
I just cannot help it.
So Nancy is the me in herfriend group.
So Nancy begins to talk to meand ask me about my flight and
where I'm headed.
And I tell her where I'm going.
And I ask her where she's goingand her and Sissy are headed to
Orlando.
And I want you guys to listento each of these details now
because it's going to be veryimportant to what I'm sharing to
(25:33):
you.
So my closest friend that I'mmeeting that Friday because my
friends are getting in atdifferent times so my closest
friend, one of my closestfriends that I'm meeting at
Friday, is from Orlando.
Okay, the ladies on the flightthat I'm with are headed to
(25:56):
Orlando, okay.
So they're telling me they'reheaded to Orlando.
And I was like, hmm, that'scool.
My friend that I'm gettingready to meet is from Orlando.
And Nancy says hmm, this is mybest friend, sissy.
This is when she introduces meto the young lady next to her
(26:17):
Sissy.
She said this is my best friendand we're headed to Orlando.
Ok.
And I said hmm, I don't believein coincidences, nancy.
Nancy said I don't either.
So I'm meeting my closestfriend in Houston who's from
Orlando, and these are bestfriends who are headed to
(26:38):
Orlando.
So we just began to talk aboutlife and stuff.
And then she, because this isher best friend, you know
they're going to talk more and alot because they're best
friends.
So they go on and start talkingand have their own conversation
.
So I go to watch my movie on myphone.
Well, nancy says uh-uh, I wantto do my best to keep you off
(27:00):
the phone.
You and I gonna have aconversation.
And she said I don't want tooverstep.
And I said Nancy, you're notoverstepping at all.
And I started laughing becauseI'm so tickled and I told her.
I said if my friends were here,they would be tickled because
you are the me in my friendgroup, because you're saying the
exact same things that I wouldsay to other people.
(27:22):
If I was with my friends, likeyou, were doing the exact same
thing to me.
So I didn't get back on myphone.
Me and Nancy talked aboutmarriage.
We talked about kids becauseshe she shared with me that she
didn't get married until laterin life she was 40 years old
when she got married and her,her husband, five years and we
(27:42):
just shared about everything youknow and she's a Christian and
we just shared about everythingyou know and she's a christian
and we just talked abouteverything.
And she, before we got out theflight, she wished me well.
She told me she hoped I have anamazing birthday and I wished
her well and everything withtheir um trip that they were
(28:03):
going on they were going therefor a trip for their church and
just wished her well andeverything that she has going on
.
Nancy was so kind to me thatwhole flight.
I mean absolutely kind to me,her and Sissy, but Nancy in
particular, like just that hourflight.
(28:26):
Nancy in particular, like justthat hour flight, she blessed me
.
She doesn't even know herkindness.
Her kindness was somethingspecial, like because I am all,
I am the one usually on theother side, but to experience
(28:53):
that kind of kindness.
It blessed my whole day.
It blessed my whole day, and Iknow that that was not
coincidence and she shared thesame thing, that she felt the
same way, but it was not bycoincidence that we ended up on
(29:14):
that flight together, that Godset all of that up, he set that
in motion, and that is just thebeginning of how my trip started
.
So the following day, onSaturday, my girlfriends because
by this time both of mygirlfriends are now in town so
we went to a winery and at thiswinery there was a woman.
(29:38):
And I was so tickled at thisbecause I've never and't y'all
judge me about this either, butI've never met a white woman
named Monique.
So there was a my one of myfriends was sitting next to me
and on the other side of her wasa woman named Monique.
(29:59):
So I met Monique.
Oh, she was such a, oh, she wassuch a pleasant soul.
Oh, my goodness, oh my goodness, she was such a pleasant soul,
such a pleasant soul.
So it was me and two of mygirlfriends.
And then there was these threegirls, very important Lauren,
(30:22):
candace and Caitlin.
Lauren was celebrating herbirthday and she had her two
best friends there, her twoclosest girlfriends as well,
just like I was therecelebrating my birthday with my
two closest girlfriends, okay.
So we went through the winery,had a great time hung out with
Monique I'm telling you, this isjust, you cannot make this
(30:48):
stuff up.
So we had such a great timewith one another that after the
winery, we went outside and wastaking pictures and laughing and
talking with one another.
Pictures and laughing andtalking with one another.
Lauren, the other birthday girlshe was like Monique.
(31:08):
You know, if you guys aren'tdoing anything, I would love you
guys to stay and hang out withus for a little while.
So we did.
We accepted the invite, we hada table and hung out with each
other and stayed there well overan hour and got to know one
another and talked about lifeand everything Marriage and
politics and kids and theclimate of the world right now,
(31:31):
and just everything.
I mean everything.
None of this stuff happens bycoincidence, Okay.
None of this stuff happens bycoincidence, okay.
So then, sunday morning, gettingready to head out, call my Uber
to pick me up from my hotel totake me to the airport.
(31:55):
Well, my driver is Maya and thecrazy thing is, I am never good
with names, but these peopleimpacted my life over a weekend,
in just those moments, justsimple moments of time.
You never know how yourkindness, your compassion, your
(32:20):
love, in just the moment ofshowing someone, allowing God to
use you, you never know how itcan impact someone.
It impacted me so much I'mactually talking about it and
having a podcast episode aboutit.
These people impacted me thatway.
So Maya picked me up and we'reheading to the airport.
(32:44):
As we get in her car, maya hasgospel playing because it's a
Sunday morning and I'm aChristian, but Maya doesn't know
that about me.
I'm just a stranger getting inher Uber, headed to the airport.
Maya doesn't know that about me.
So Maya has the gospel playing,but she has it playing really
low and I'm assuming it's to berespectable to her passengers
(33:04):
Because, again, she doesn't knowwho the passenger is.
She doesn't want to offend themor you know, because they may
not like gospel music.
So I began to sing and I justbegan to sing pretty loudly
because that's just, I love tosing Y'all.
I can't sing, can't hold a tuneone bit, but I, I love to sing
y'all.
I can't sing, can't hold a tuneone bit, but I absolutely love
(33:25):
to sing.
So I began naturally to singbecause and I and I love the
song that she was playing, so Istarted singing.
So I guess she realized, oh,okay, okay.
So she turns the music up andshe begins to sing.
So maya and I are singingtogether in this uber ride.
Well, the next song comes on andit is um in my name.
(33:50):
If you have the opportunity, ifyou're listening, if you have
the moment right now, you canpause this and go listen to it,
or listen to it later.
Um, but it's by reverend miltonand it's called in my name.
It's such a beautiful song.
I mean such a beautiful song.
Maya plays this song and I meanwe we see y'all, we singing
(34:17):
this song.
I'm talking about we singingthis song.
And it got so good that Mayastarts the song over and runs it
back.
She literally plays it againand we begin to sing this song
and Maya is crying, the tearsare flowing, and she said, oh,
I'm so sorry.
And she started wiping her face.
(34:37):
I said Maya, you ain't got toapologize to me, baby, let the
tears flow, just let the tearsflow.
So she's crying and we stillsinging our songs and enjoying
the ride, and it's a good littleride to the airport.
So we enjoying the ride and wefinally make it to the airport.
(35:00):
And she said before, saidbefore we get to the airport, as
we're pulling up there, shesaid when I woke up this morning
I was having a really bad day,but this has changed.
This has changed and lifted myspirits, this ride ride.
(35:22):
So we pull up to the airportand as we're getting out of the
car I was getting ready, she'sgetting my bags out the trunk
and I was getting ready to askher is it okay if I give you a
hug?
And before I could get thewords out of my mouth, she hugs
me tight and I told her.
(35:45):
I said this is the best Uberride I've had all weekend and I
hope you have an amazing day andI hope it all turns around for
you.
And we said our goodbyes and wewent along our way.
So I go into the airport, get tothe where we got a board in the
(36:07):
waiting area, and I sit downand I get on the phone to text
my husband, let him know Iarrived safely and, you know,
get myself together until it'stime to board and there's this
older lady sitting next to meher and I'm assuming it could be
her daughter.
But she had a younger lady withher and she's been sitting
there beside me for a while butnot looking at me.
(36:29):
She was in, you know, facingthe opposite direction, and I'm
just minding my business.
I haven't said anything,haven't done anything.
I'm literally just sittingthere, just waiting, and she
gets up.
Maybe after 10 minutes or soshe gets up and starts walking
away.
And as she walks away, shestops in her tracks and she
(36:51):
turns around and comes back tome and she says, ma'am, even
though she's older than me, shesays, ma'am, you're so beautiful
.
And I said thank you so much.
And she said no, no, no, I meanit, you're beautiful, your
(37:13):
spirit is beautiful.
And I said thank you so muchBecause I knew what she meant.
I knew exactly what she meant.
And she said I you so muchBecause I knew what she meant.
I knew exactly what she meantand she said I hope you have a
wonderful day.
I really do.
God bless you.
And she walked out and I neversaw her again.
(37:36):
But it all started on Friday, onthe flight leaving Jackson
headed to Houston, and it allended and it went through the
whole weekend.
I just saw God.
I just saw his light shiningall weekend.
I mean, I just saw his lovebeing shown to me all weekend.
(38:02):
I just saw reminders of him allweekend.
I just saw him saying I see youall weekend, from Friday, where
it started at the airport, onthe flight, all the way to
Sunday, ended at the sameairport.
(38:22):
And my heart is so full.
It's still full and I've beenthanking him ever since Because
he is such an intimate andpersonal guy and you think
sometimes you think you only canask for the big things, the
(38:47):
major things.
You got to wait on him to dosomething extravagant, something
huge, something so impactful,something so mind-blowing to
other people, but something sosimple and something so intimate
(39:07):
and something so personal andloving and caring, and something
that was only for me, somethingthat only I would understand,
something that only I would get,something that only I would
realize that was for me, thatwas mind blowing.
Because that week leading up tomy birthday, when I realized
(39:36):
that this whole year was soheavy even though it wasn't
heavy and I hope you canunderstand that what I was
experiencing, what I was goingthrough, what I was facing, was
some heavy things, but it didn'tfeel so heavy, the burden was
light, the yoke was lightbecause of my relationship with
(39:59):
Christ, but the things that Iwas facing was heavy.
So leading up that week,leading up to my birthday, I was
talking to God about it and Iwas like Lord, I don't know why
this shit was different for me,why I hadn't figured out what I
wanted to do and why I hadn'tput anything together.
(40:21):
And when I finally figured outwhat I wanted to do and why I
hadn't put anything together,and when I finally figured out
why I understood, it was becauseI had been fighting all year.
And now I'm resting.
So this weekend, when Iexperienced God showing himself
(40:44):
through all these wonderfulpeople, through all of these
beautiful women, he wasrevealing himself and showing
himself and reminding me that hesees, he cares, he loves me, he
knows me, he values me, heknows how hard it's been for me,
he knows the things I've gonethrough, he knows the things
that I've overcome, he knows thetrials, he knows the struggles
(41:10):
and I can rest.
My labor isn't in vain and Ican rest.
Yes, it's been hard, but I canrest.
Yes, it's been hard, but I canrest.
Yes, it's been tough, but, mona, you can rest.
(41:31):
I got it, I got you.
So yes, so yes, self-carechallenge this birthday trip.
I hope you are encouraged.
(41:54):
I hope you can be reminded beintentional about prioritizing
yourself, about taking care ofyourself, about filling your cup
up, about resting man, ifyou're not already, follow me on
(42:29):
Facebook at Demo with Mo so youcan see each day what I'm doing
for the self-care challengesand then I also can encourage
you to do your own self-carechallenge, to begin to
prioritize taking care of you.
This year, for the 30 days, I amdoing my self-care challenge a
(42:51):
little bit differently.
I'm actually doing things thatfor each day, things that I have
never done before, for whateverreason, whether that's I've
allowed fear to stop me.
It's something that I justtalked myself out of.
I just thought to never do it.
(43:13):
Whatever reason, I've beenchallenging myself to do things
that I've never done, so join me.
Or if you have your ownself-care challenge that you
would like to do things thatI've never done, so join me.
Or if you have your ownself-care challenge that you
would like to do, send me a textmessage and let me know.
You can find that in the shownotes on how to send that
message.
I would love to hear yourthoughts on what is it that
(43:33):
you're doing to challengeyourself with self-care.
But again, I hope you enjoyedtoday's episode.
Remember I love you, but Godloves you so much more.
I'll see you guys next week.
Bye, I hope you guys haveenjoyed.
(43:57):
Follow me on Facebook at Demowith Mo.
If you have any questions youwould like answered here live on
my podcast, email them to me atDemo with Mo at gmailcom.
That's D-E-M-O-W-I-T-H-M-O atgmailcom.
What's up, guys?
Welcome to Demo with Mo.
I'm your host, monique Simmons.
We'll be discussing dating,engaged and married objectives
from a young Christian'sperspective.
Are you guys ready?
Let's dive in.
Hey, what's up, guys?
Welcome to a new episode ofDemo with Mo.
(00:27):
I am your host, monique Simmons.
Today's episode is going to bea little different.
We're going to pivot just alittle bit from our usual
conversations, our usual topicsand discussions.
Each year, for the month ofNovember, I do a self-care
challenge for the whole month ofNovember to celebrate my
birthday.
(00:48):
This started back in Novemberof 2020.
The reason that I started thisself-care challenge was to hold
myself accountable and to beintentional with my own
self-care.
This year was the year Irealized that I was not
prioritizing myself.
I was not taking care of myself.
(01:09):
I was doing for everyone elsearound me, everyone else in my
life, but somewhere along theway I forgot about Monique.
And that was nobody else'sfault.
It was no one else'sresponsibility.
That was on no one else but me.
I thought there would be nobetter time than the month of
November, the time where you areto celebrate yourself for your
(01:32):
birthday, the time that you werebrought into this world, the
time that God gave you life tobegin to prioritize yourself, to
take care of yourself, tocelebrate yourself, and that's
what I did.
So it started with just thatone month, with being
(01:54):
intentional about self-care, andthen it spiraled into a way of
life.
I had no idea that that's whatwas going to happen, from me
just being intentional for thatone month on doing something for
myself every day for the wholemonth of November in 2020.
(02:25):
On my Demo with Mo Facebook page, so that I could be held
accountable Because if I'm goingto begin posting it there on
such a public platform, I wantto hold myself accountable to
making sure I do something everyday for myself, to make sure
that I'm posting it every day,to make sure that it's getting
done.
That was the accountable part.
Sure, that is getting done.
(02:48):
That was the accountable part.
The intentional part was for meto make sure that I'm doing
something that actually bringsme joy, that actually makes me
happy, something that matters tome.
In November of 2020, that's allI had.
That's as far as I had gottenwith just doing something each
day for those 30 days for thatmonth of November in 2020.
And now, in November 2024, overfour years later, here I am now
(03:15):
still doing it every year forthe whole month of November.
But not only am I doing it everyNovember, it's a way of life.
I don't wait to November eachyear to do self-care, to
prioritize myself, to beintentional about me, about
doing the things that bring mejoy, about facing my fears,
(03:38):
about making sure I take care ofmyself, about making sure I
fill my own cup up so I'm ableto give from the overflow of my
life and not giving from a placeof emptiness.
No, I'm doing it all the time,consistently.
That is who I am now.
That's a way of life for me.
(03:59):
But it all started from mebeing intentional in November of
2020.
And here we are now.
So each year I try to do a topic, a discussion, some kind of
episode around the topic ofself-care during the month of
(04:19):
November, just because that'show important it is to me.
So sometimes I pivot a littlebit from off the relationship,
the marriage, the datingdiscussions, just to focus on
self-care, just to let you intomy life just a little bit, to
tell you maybe what I did for myself-care that month, or maybe
(04:39):
self-care around the holidays,or maybe a trip that I took or
something around self-care andthat's kind of what I tend to do
each year sometime during themonth of November.
So I just wanted to give you alittle context of kind of how
did I get here today around asubject of self-care and kind of
the topic that we're going tobe discussing today, and why is
(05:01):
this topic so important to meand why we're not going to be
talking about, necessarily,relationships and marriage and
dating today.
I just wanted to give you alittle background in case this
is your first episode today,because I may have some new
listeners today and maybe youjumped in on this subject and
you're wondering how did I geton a relationship podcast and
(05:24):
the host is talking aboutself-care?
What did I find myself in today?
So I just wanted you to know.
This is kind of where we are.
It's something that I do eachyear and how we got here, and I
really hope today's episodeencourages you Maybe, if you
haven't been intentional aboutyour self-care and prioritizing
(05:46):
taking care of yourself anddoing those things that bring
you joy and bring happiness intoyour life and filling your own
cup up, because that is no one'sresponsibilities but yours.
That's something that I also hadto learn because I have not
always been good at self-care.
Again, I told you this startedin November of 2020.
(06:08):
Well, I was really intentionalabout the self-care and going on
my own journey within myselfand learning how to really take
care of myself and loving myselfand pouring into my own cup.
And you will learn once youbegin to do those things for
yourself.
You set the standard.
You teach people how to loveyou, how to treat you, how to
(06:30):
also do those things that yourequire, because you already do
that for yourself.
When you learn how to show upfor you, the people that come
into your life, the people thatare already in your life, they
see the standard that you havefor yourself.
They're going to also meet thatstandard or they're not going
to stay there alone because theyalready see that standard that
(06:51):
you have set for yourself.
So, each year, I celebrate mybirthday in a big way for me
anyway, because birthdays are ahuge deal to me, and not just my
birthday, my husband's birthday, our children's birthday.
I always celebrate ourbirthdays or try to celebrate
(07:12):
our birthdays in a major way.
This year, for my birthday, myhusband asked me if my birthday
was coming around, as we usuallydo, because my oldest
daughter's birthday is beforemine in September, so usually
around after her birthday, webegin to plan for my birthday.
I begin to plan for my birthdayand get my thinking cap on,
(07:34):
like, what do you want to dothis year, monique?
Because again, I told you I'mintentional about it.
So what do you want to do thisyear for your birthday?
Well, this year, for somereason, I hadn't really thought
about it and I'm mentioning thisbecause it's important to the
context of what I'm going to besharing today about my birthday
(07:56):
and self-care and my birthdaytrip and the things that I did
surrounding my birthday.
And again, this is stillNovember now, so I'm still
celebrating, but for thisparticular purpose of what I'm
sharing, this is important.
So I'm usually thinking aboutwhat I'm going to be doing for
my birthday.
Well, this year I really hadn'tbeen thinking about it, like it
(08:18):
just hadn't crossed my mind.
So my husband begins asking meas it's getting closer and I
haven't shared what I wanted formy birthday, which is not
normal for me.
I haven't shared what I wantedfor my birthday.
I hadn't shared what I wantedto do, what plans I have, who I
want to get together with.
(08:40):
I haven't shared anything.
The days are just going by, theweeks are passing by and I
haven't shared anything.
So my husband says well, whatdo you want to do for your
birthday?
And I said I wanted to thinkabout it.
And a few days passed by and Isaid you know what I really want
to do?
A chill birthday this year.
(09:00):
I really don't want much thisyear.
What I really want to do is Iwant to see my friends for my
birthday this year.
I really don't want much thisyear.
What I really want to do is Iwant to see my friends for my
birthday this year.
I don't want to do a lot, but Iknow I want to see my friends
and that was the one thing thatI told him.
That was the main thing that Iwanted.
(09:22):
So my friends and I have thisthing called the group chat and
if you've been around Demo withMo for a while, you've heard the
group chat.
You've heard them come on thepodcast and be guests on the
podcast as a group and asindividuals.
They've been on the on thepodcast before and you heard me
talk about them and referencethem as the group chat.
(09:43):
These are my very close friendsand I lovingly reference them
as the group chat because thisis how we've stayed in contact
over the years, even though mostof everyone in my my close
friend circle has moved out ofthe state of Mississippi where I
reside, and this is how we stayin contact with one another on
(10:07):
a consistent basis.
So I put a message in the groupchat.
I just kind of threw it outthere because, again, it's last
minute.
I haven't really put muchthought into it.
Many plans I usually plan verymuch in advance, especially for
something like this wanting toget together, want to travel.
I'm not a very last minuteperson when, especially for
something like this wanting toget together, want to travel.
I'm not a very last minuteperson when it comes to things
(10:29):
like this.
That's just not how I move.
But again, this is somethingthat was.
My birthday is very near to me,very near and dear to me.
So when I finally took time tothink about what I wanted to do
and being with my friends andseeing my friends was something
that I really, really wanted Ijust threw it out there and it
(10:49):
was one of those things.
If they were able to do it oh,that's dope, oh that's amazing,
it would make my heart full.
I would love nothing more.
But if they couldn't do it,that's okay, because this is
last minute.
I totally understand.
It's no love lost.
I know we'll get togetheranother time and it'll be fine.
(11:12):
I still be able to see them,even if we jumped on the Zoom
call to sing happy birthday.
I know that's something thatthey'll do.
It's no issue, this is lastminute.
They're all married, they'reall in relationships, they have
families, they have kids, theyhave jobs, they have lives.
It's fine.
Like you know, I'm totallyunderstanding all of these
(11:37):
things, but I said, let me justthrow it out there and just see,
because this is something thatI really would love, this is
something I really want.
I still want to cheer birthday,but if I could see my friends
even if not all of them, thosewho are available, those who
could come, those who could, forwhatever reason we could figure
(11:57):
out some way to get together, Iwould love nothing more.
So I put out in the group chatyou guys, my birthday's coming
up.
I would love if you guys could.
I would love for us to be ableto's coming up.
I would love if you got.
If you guys could.
I would love for us to be ableto get together.
I would love to see you guys.
You know, something like thatis what I put out there.
Well, a few of my friends textme individually, individually,
(12:19):
them not even getting togetherwith each other to know that
they reached out to me.
But they were like, you know, Iwould love to get together.
You know, what do you have inmind, like, what is it that you
want to do?
What are you trying to do?
Long story short.
So, after a few texts, a fewZoom calls, a few conversations,
(12:41):
a few reservations, a fewconversations, a few
reservations, we made it work.
We figured out one friend had adirect flight.
For another friend it wouldjust be a couple hours drive for
her, and we finally goteverything booked and planned
and we decided on.
(13:01):
I decided on going to Houstonbecause Houston would be a
direct flight for me as well,and I wanted to make it
convenient for everyone because,again, this was something that
they were doing for me.
I didn't want to inconvenienceanyone.
They were using their resources, they were using their time.
This was something they weretaking away from their spouses
(13:23):
and their families and their ownpersonal lives to spend time
with me for my birthday.
So I want to go back to myhusband and I want to shout out
my husband, because this meant alot to me, because my husband
originally he first asked mewhat I wanted to do for my
(13:46):
birthday and I told him I wouldlove to see my friends.
We originally planned to go outof town together, he and I.
But get out with someone inrelationship, partnership,
(14:10):
marriage, with someone who willsupport you and the things that
you desire, the things thatbring you joy, the things that
fill your cup, not only thethings that matter to them.
So my husband ended up takingme out to celebrate my birthday
(14:33):
because my birthday fell on aday that I would be out of town.
So he ended up taking me outbefore I left, the day before I
left, and we had an amazing time.
We had an amazing time.
So we went out and celebratedmy birthday the day before I
left and we had an amazing time.
(14:54):
We had an amazing time.
So we went out and celebratedmy birthday the day before and
we had a great time, and I endedup leaving the following
morning and he held down a fortwith our babies the whole
weekend while I was gone.
He supported me and given mewhat I needed to celebrate my
birthday, and the reason I'msaying this is because, as the
(15:19):
months and the weeks wereleading up to my birthday, I
told you guys earlier I couldnot figure out why I couldn't
put my finger on, why I had notbeen thinking about it, why I
had not been planning like I hadalways done in the years prior
Planning in advance, knowingexactly what I wanted, knowing
what I wanted to do, knowing whoI was going to be with, putting
(15:44):
the plans in motion.
All of these things would havebeen a plan months in advance
and, if not planned, I wouldhave known exactly what I wanted
to do months in advance.
But I didn't, and I could not,for the life of me, figure out
why until the week leading up toit.
(16:06):
This last year has been veryhard for me, very hard for me.
There has been some things,emotionally, that have
transpired in my life, that havebeen hard and difficult, and I
won't sit here and lie in frontand pretend that it hasn't been.
(16:27):
It's been a very hardtransition for me this past year
.
I have faced some hard thingsin my life that if it was not
for the grace of God, if it wasnot for the friendships that I
have and the relationships thatI have in my relationship with
(16:49):
God and the faith that I have inmy husband and our family, and
the community, my village, mycircle.
If it was not for these things,I don't know where I would be.
So I'm grateful.
Be so, I'm grateful.
(17:09):
And it was the week leading upto my birthday where it was like
the light came on, that it waslike this past year.
I was tired.
It was like, if I had todescribe it, it was like being
(17:35):
in battle, being in war and youfinally coming out and you're
just tired that you and youfinally in a place where you're
not fighting anymore and don'tget me wrong, being in a great
place, being in a great place.
(17:57):
But it's like your body isfinally now resting because
you're not fighting anymore,you're not at war anymore, you
don't have to have a shield onfor a little while.
Your body is now, can just restin it.
And that's how it felt.
If I had to describe it, that'swhat it felt like the last year
(18:22):
, and even longer than a year,if I'm being completely honest
like to be fighting and not like, if you are a Christian, if you
are a believer.
We are constantly at war, weare constantly in spiritual
warfare.
So I hope you understand whatI'm saying.
(18:45):
But it was like for over a yearto be always to be unpacking
something, to be working atbuilding healthy relationships,
(19:08):
to be working at buildinghealthy relationships, to be not
allowing unhealthy dynamicsanymore.
It's just to finally be at aplace where you're not fighting
(19:33):
anymore and your body can justyou can just breathe, your body
can race, and that's how I felt.
So, getting back to the tripand I do want to say this before
I dive into the trip Self-careis not always pretty.
(19:53):
Self-care is not always what yousee on social media.
Self-care is becoming a betterversion of yourself and
sometimes there's going to besome tears.
Sometimes there's going to besome hard work.
Sometimes there's going to bepulling yourself up out the mud.
Sometimes there's going to besome tears.
Sometimes that's going to besome hard work.
Sometimes that's going to bepulling yourself up out the mud.
Sometimes that's going to beconfessing and repenting of some
(20:15):
things that aren't right.
Sometimes that's going to begetting rid of some negative and
toxic relationships in yourlife.
Sometimes that's going to belooking at yourself in the
mirror and saying saying you arethe unhealthy person and what
can I do to become healthy?
Self-care is not always pretty,so after being in the last year
(20:40):
over a year being in that place,where I felt like I was
fighting in the war and doing ahard, hard, dirty, grimy work of
sanctification and being whoGod wants me to be Woo, I got on
(21:04):
a flight heading to Houston,and I was on the flight by
myself, heading to Houston fromJackson, jackson, mississippi,
and I met these ladies and I dowant to tell you guys I usually
don't give names on my podcastand don't talk about people, but
these are people that I don'tknow personally and because they
(21:24):
impacted my life in such amajor way, god used each one of
these people to bless metremendously.
If it ever comes across them,if they ever hear this, I want
them to personally know how Godused each and every one of them
to bless my life.
So I will be using names.
So I'm on a flight headed toHouston and when I got to the
(21:50):
airport, the airport in Jacksonwas backed up tremendously.
They literally called my flightto board to Houston twice and I
was still in line, but it wasso many people in line headed to
Houston because this was anissue with Jackson airport.
It was no fault of thepassengers that they could not
leave us.
(22:11):
There were so many people thatwere not on the flight that they
could not leave us because anissue that Jackson was having
with their airport.
Whatever their issue was, Icannot tell you, but just know
that we were still in linewaiting and they had called to
board our flight twice.
Okay, so by the time I made itto my flight headed to Houston
(22:32):
and I'm getting ready to sitdown, there were two beautiful
women already sitting down, andI love a window seat, so I do
want to say that there was awindow seat available by these
two beautiful women and I askedthem I good morning, how are you
ladies?
Because I'm already in a greatmood.
My flight boarded at 5 20, soit was almost 6 am.
(22:57):
If, yeah, it was almost 6 amand we said we exchanged our
good mornings and I sat downwith these two beautiful ladies,
and these ladies name is Nancyand Sissy.
Nancy was in the middle seatand Sissy was on the end and I
was on the window seat.
Well, I sit down.
(23:19):
I put my earbuds in because,again, I'm by myself.
So I just planned on beingcomfortable and just you know,
cause this is my first flight bymyself, so I didn't know what
to expect, cause I'm usuallytalking to whoever I'm with, but
again I'm by myself, so I putmy earbuds in and I'm finding a
(23:40):
good movie to watch and I'mthinking this is going to be it
until I make it to Houston.
Boy, was I wrong?
So Nancy, who is a 75-year-oldwoman who does not look 75 at
all, absolutely gorgeous, andshe begins to talk to me and she
(24:06):
asks me my name, where I'm from, and just questions, just you
know, getting to know me and mylife.
And I began to ask herquestions and get to know her
and her life and it was just abreath of fresh air.
I can't put it any other way.
Me being who I am, I don't meeta stranger.
I will literally talk to anyone.
(24:28):
If you were to talk to myfriend group, the group chat, as
I refer to them, they will tellyou.
They always joke, becausewhenever we ride in the Uber
together or we go to arestaurant or we hang out, I'm
going to be the person to findout someone's life story.
We will literally get in theUber.
It will start off with measking somebody's name and by
(24:50):
the time we're getting out ofthe car I will then have prayed
for the driver or know theirparents, known any illnesses in
the family, I will know theirwhole life story.
I mean, I just love people inthat way.
I cannot help it.
I just cannot help it.
So Nancy is the me in herfriend group.
I mean, I just love people inthat way.
(25:10):
I cannot help it.
I just cannot help it.
So Nancy is the me in herfriend group.
So Nancy begins to talk to meand ask me about my flight and
where I'm headed.
And I tell her where I'm going.
And I ask her where she's goingand her and Sissy are headed to
Orlando.
And I want you guys to listento each of these details now
because it's going to be veryimportant to what I'm sharing to
(25:33):
you.
So my closest friend that I'mmeeting that Friday because my
friends are getting in atdifferent times so my closest
friend, one of my closestfriends that I'm meeting at
Friday, is from Orlando.
Okay, the ladies on the flightthat I'm with are headed to
(25:56):
Orlando, okay.
So they're telling me they'reheaded to Orlando.
And I was like, hmm, that'scool.
My friend that I'm gettingready to meet is from Orlando.
And Nancy says hmm, this is mybest friend, sissy.
This is when she introduces meto the young lady next to her
(26:17):
Sissy.
She said this is my best friendand we're headed to Orlando.
Ok.
And I said hmm, I don't believein coincidences, nancy.
Nancy said I don't either.
So I'm meeting my closestfriend in Houston who's from
Orlando, and these are bestfriends who are headed to
(26:38):
Orlando.
So we just began to talk aboutlife and stuff.
And then she, because this isher best friend, you know
they're going to talk more and alot because they're best
friends.
So they go on and start talkingand have their own conversation
.
So I go to watch my movie on myphone.
Well, nancy says uh-uh, I wantto do my best to keep you off
(27:00):
the phone.
You and I gonna have aconversation.
And she said I don't want tooverstep.
And I said Nancy, you're notoverstepping at all.
And I started laughing becauseI'm so tickled and I told her.
I said if my friends were here,they would be tickled because
you are the me in my friendgroup, because you're saying the
exact same things that I wouldsay to other people.
(27:22):
If I was with my friends, likeyou, were doing the exact same
thing to me.
So I didn't get back on myphone.
Me and Nancy talked aboutmarriage.
We talked about kids becauseshe she shared with me that she
didn't get married until laterin life she was 40 years old
when she got married and her,her husband, five years and we
(27:42):
just shared about everything youknow and she's a Christian and
we just shared about everythingyou know and she's a christian
and we just talked abouteverything.
And she, before we got out theflight, she wished me well.
She told me she hoped I have anamazing birthday and I wished
her well and everything withtheir um trip that they were
(28:03):
going on they were going therefor a trip for their church and
just wished her well andeverything that she has going on
.
Nancy was so kind to me thatwhole flight.
I mean absolutely kind to me,her and Sissy, but Nancy in
particular, like just that hourflight.
(28:26):
Nancy in particular, like justthat hour flight, she blessed me
.
She doesn't even know herkindness.
Her kindness was somethingspecial, like because I am all,
I am the one usually on theother side, but to experience
(28:53):
that kind of kindness.
It blessed my whole day.
It blessed my whole day, and Iknow that that was not
coincidence and she shared thesame thing, that she felt the
same way, but it was not bycoincidence that we ended up on
(29:14):
that flight together, that Godset all of that up, he set that
in motion, and that is just thebeginning of how my trip started
.
So the following day, onSaturday, my girlfriends because
by this time both of mygirlfriends are now in town so
we went to a winery and at thiswinery there was a woman.
(29:38):
And I was so tickled at thisbecause I've never and't y'all
judge me about this either, butI've never met a white woman
named Monique.
So there was a my one of myfriends was sitting next to me
and on the other side of her wasa woman named Monique.
(29:59):
So I met Monique.
Oh, she was such a, oh, she wassuch a pleasant soul.
Oh, my goodness, oh my goodness, she was such a pleasant soul,
such a pleasant soul.
So it was me and two of mygirlfriends.
And then there was these threegirls, very important Lauren,
(30:22):
candace and Caitlin.
Lauren was celebrating herbirthday and she had her two
best friends there, her twoclosest girlfriends as well,
just like I was therecelebrating my birthday with my
two closest girlfriends, okay.
So we went through the winery,had a great time hung out with
Monique I'm telling you, this isjust, you cannot make this
(30:48):
stuff up.
So we had such a great timewith one another that after the
winery, we went outside and wastaking pictures and laughing and
talking with one another.
Pictures and laughing andtalking with one another.
Lauren, the other birthday girlshe was like Monique.
(31:08):
You know, if you guys aren'tdoing anything, I would love you
guys to stay and hang out withus for a little while.
So we did.
We accepted the invite, we hada table and hung out with each
other and stayed there well overan hour and got to know one
another and talked about lifeand everything Marriage and
politics and kids and theclimate of the world right now,
(31:31):
and just everything.
I mean everything.
None of this stuff happens bycoincidence, Okay.
None of this stuff happens bycoincidence, okay.
So then, sunday morning, gettingready to head out, call my Uber
to pick me up from my hotel totake me to the airport.
(31:55):
Well, my driver is Maya and thecrazy thing is, I am never good
with names, but these peopleimpacted my life over a weekend,
in just those moments, justsimple moments of time.
You never know how yourkindness, your compassion, your
(32:20):
love, in just the moment ofshowing someone, allowing God to
use you, you never know how itcan impact someone.
It impacted me so much I'mactually talking about it and
having a podcast episode aboutit.
These people impacted me thatway.
So Maya picked me up and we'reheading to the airport.
(32:44):
As we get in her car, maya hasgospel playing because it's a
Sunday morning and I'm aChristian, but Maya doesn't know
that about me.
I'm just a stranger getting inher Uber, headed to the airport.
Maya doesn't know that about me.
So Maya has the gospel playing,but she has it playing really
low and I'm assuming it's to berespectable to her passengers
(33:04):
Because, again, she doesn't knowwho the passenger is.
She doesn't want to offend themor you know, because they may
not like gospel music.
So I began to sing and I justbegan to sing pretty loudly
because that's just, I love tosing Y'all.
I can't sing, can't hold a tuneone bit, but I, I love to sing
y'all.
I can't sing, can't hold a tuneone bit, but I absolutely love
(33:25):
to sing.
So I began naturally to singbecause and I and I love the
song that she was playing, so Istarted singing.
So I guess she realized, oh,okay, okay.
So she turns the music up andshe begins to sing.
So maya and I are singingtogether in this uber ride.
Well, the next song comes on andit is um in my name.
(33:50):
If you have the opportunity, ifyou're listening, if you have
the moment right now, you canpause this and go listen to it,
or listen to it later.
Um, but it's by reverend miltonand it's called in my name.
It's such a beautiful song.
I mean such a beautiful song.
Maya plays this song and I meanwe we see y'all, we singing
(34:17):
this song.
I'm talking about we singingthis song.
And it got so good that Mayastarts the song over and runs it
back.
She literally plays it againand we begin to sing this song
and Maya is crying, the tearsare flowing, and she said, oh,
I'm so sorry.
And she started wiping her face.
(34:37):
I said Maya, you ain't got toapologize to me, baby, let the
tears flow, just let the tearsflow.
So she's crying and we stillsinging our songs and enjoying
the ride, and it's a good littleride to the airport.
So we enjoying the ride and wefinally make it to the airport.
(35:00):
And she said before, saidbefore we get to the airport, as
we're pulling up there, shesaid when I woke up this morning
I was having a really bad day,but this has changed.
This has changed and lifted myspirits, this ride ride.
(35:22):
So we pull up to the airportand as we're getting out of the
car I was getting ready, she'sgetting my bags out the trunk
and I was getting ready to askher is it okay if I give you a
hug?
And before I could get thewords out of my mouth, she hugs
me tight and I told her.
(35:45):
I said this is the best Uberride I've had all weekend and I
hope you have an amazing day andI hope it all turns around for
you.
And we said our goodbyes and wewent along our way.
So I go into the airport, get tothe where we got a board in the
(36:07):
waiting area, and I sit downand I get on the phone to text
my husband, let him know Iarrived safely and, you know,
get myself together until it'stime to board and there's this
older lady sitting next to meher and I'm assuming it could be
her daughter.
But she had a younger lady withher and she's been sitting
there beside me for a while butnot looking at me.
(36:29):
She was in, you know, facingthe opposite direction, and I'm
just minding my business.
I haven't said anything,haven't done anything.
I'm literally just sittingthere, just waiting, and she
gets up.
Maybe after 10 minutes or soshe gets up and starts walking
away.
And as she walks away, shestops in her tracks and she
(36:51):
turns around and comes back tome and she says, ma'am, even
though she's older than me, shesays, ma'am, you're so beautiful
.
And I said thank you so much.
And she said no, no, no, I meanit, you're beautiful, your
(37:13):
spirit is beautiful.
And I said thank you so muchBecause I knew what she meant.
I knew exactly what she meant.
And she said I you so muchBecause I knew what she meant.
I knew exactly what she meantand she said I hope you have a
wonderful day.
I really do.
God bless you.
And she walked out and I neversaw her again.
(37:36):
But it all started on Friday, onthe flight leaving Jackson
headed to Houston, and it allended and it went through the
whole weekend.
I just saw God.
I just saw his light shiningall weekend.
I mean, I just saw his lovebeing shown to me all weekend.
(38:02):
I just saw reminders of him allweekend.
I just saw him saying I see youall weekend, from Friday, where
it started at the airport, onthe flight, all the way to
Sunday, ended at the sameairport.
(38:22):
And my heart is so full.
It's still full and I've beenthanking him ever since Because
he is such an intimate andpersonal guy and you think
sometimes you think you only canask for the big things, the
(38:47):
major things.
You got to wait on him to dosomething extravagant, something
huge, something so impactful,something so mind-blowing to
other people, but something sosimple and something so intimate
(39:07):
and something so personal andloving and caring, and something
that was only for me, somethingthat only I would understand,
something that only I would get,something that only I would
realize that was for me, thatwas mind blowing.
Because that week leading up tomy birthday, when I realized
(39:36):
that this whole year was soheavy even though it wasn't
heavy and I hope you canunderstand that what I was
experiencing, what I was goingthrough, what I was facing, was
some heavy things, but it didn'tfeel so heavy, the burden was
light, the yoke was lightbecause of my relationship with
(39:59):
Christ, but the things that Iwas facing was heavy.
So leading up that week,leading up to my birthday, I was
talking to God about it and Iwas like Lord, I don't know why
this shit was different for me,why I hadn't figured out what I
wanted to do and why I hadn'tput anything together.
(40:21):
And when I finally figured outwhat I wanted to do and why I
hadn't put anything together,and when I finally figured out
why I understood, it was becauseI had been fighting all year.
And now I'm resting.
So this weekend, when Iexperienced God showing himself
(40:44):
through all these wonderfulpeople, through all of these
beautiful women, he wasrevealing himself and showing
himself and reminding me that hesees, he cares, he loves me, he
knows me, he values me, heknows how hard it's been for me,
he knows the things I've gonethrough, he knows the things
that I've overcome, he knows thetrials, he knows the struggles
(41:10):
and I can rest.
My labor isn't in vain and Ican rest.
Yes, it's been hard, but I canrest.
Yes, it's been hard, but I canrest.
Yes, it's been tough, but, mona, you can rest.
(41:31):
I got it, I got you.
So yes, so yes, self-carechallenge this birthday trip.
I hope you are encouraged.
(41:54):
I hope you can be reminded beintentional about prioritizing
yourself, about taking care ofyourself, about filling your cup
up, about resting man, ifyou're not already, follow me on
(42:29):
Facebook at Demo with Mo so youcan see each day what I'm doing
for the self-care challengesand then I also can encourage
you to do your own self-carechallenge, to begin to
prioritize taking care of you.
This year, for the 30 days, I amdoing my self-care challenge a
(42:51):
little bit differently.
I'm actually doing things thatfor each day, things that I have
never done before, for whateverreason, whether that's I've
allowed fear to stop me.
It's something that I justtalked myself out of.
I just thought to never do it.
(43:13):
Whatever reason, I've beenchallenging myself to do things
that I've never done, so join me.
Or if you have your ownself-care challenge that you
would like to do things thatI've never done, so join me.
Or if you have your ownself-care challenge that you
would like to do, send me a textmessage and let me know.
You can find that in the shownotes on how to send that
message.
I would love to hear yourthoughts on what is it that
(43:33):
you're doing to challengeyourself with self-care.
But again, I hope you enjoyedtoday's episode.
Remember I love you, but Godloves you so much more.
I'll see you guys next week.
Bye, I hope you guys haveenjoyed.
(43:57):
Follow me on Facebook at Demowith Mo.
If you have any questions youwould like answered here live on
my podcast, email them to me atDemo with Mo at gmailcom.
That's D-E-M-O-W-I-T-H-M-O atgmailcom.
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