April 16, 2025 • 20 mins
Frappuccinos are a gateway drug. Decaf? Completely pointless.
We're firing off hot takes faster than a triple shot of espresso in Episode 24 of Demon Babie — Twenty Topics. Twenty Minutes. All things coffee. ☕️💀
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome to another episodeof the Demon Babie podcast.
It's me, Joey Lombardo, sittinghere with the busty barista
Blond Babie aka Emma Nilsson mybest friend in the whole world.
And, best co-host that, moneyhas to, at least this money can
afford.
Welcome to another episode ofDream Babie.
Today's topic is coffee.
(00:32):
Pretty good intro.
Today.
I loved it.
It was a really good intro.
You really, really nailed it.
Today I'm locking in onmy intros.
I think you are locked in.
I think nailing it well.
You know, it's only like episode21, so.
It's like episode 24.
We're aging.
It's getting up there.
Fine wine.
All right.
So first topic I thinkFrappuccinos are the gateway
drug to coffee.
(00:54):
Yeah.
It's like vaping.
Frappuccinos are the vapes ofcoffee.
Yeah.
Like an espresso is a cigaretbut a Frappuccinos vape.
I agree I agree I agree.
An espresso is an unfilteredcigaret.
Yes.
Yes exactly.
Should we be regulating childrendrinking frappuccinos.
Probably with the amount ofsugars and shit that's in those
(01:16):
is probably not that good foryou.
Yeah.
It's enough to lose a foot over.
But as someone who used to drinkone every day, you'll survive.
Hey.
We're here.
Frappuccinos.
Yes or no?
I mean, there's a time and placefor everything.
Even if I don't like it.
Anymore.
Most of the time, there's stilltime.
I'm like.
(01:36):
I could do it.
I'd rather get that than amilkshake, a Frappuccino.
I agree, it's actually waybetter than a milkshake.
It hits the spot and gives you alittle more up.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah, a milkshake.
I feel too heavy after.
Yeah, it's going to hurt yourstomach a little frappuccino
Frappuccino.
But you're a mocha frappuccino.
Not bad.
I was a caramel frappuccino.
Caramel Frappuccinos neverdid it for me.
I'm a chocolate kind of girl.
(01:56):
You're a chocolate girl.
So next topic.
Mocha coffee.
Mocha coffee is delicious.
Which is really just.
It's hot chocolate.
Yeah, it's hot chocolatewith a shot.
Although it's like a little morebitter than a proper hot
chocolate with a shot.
You think?
I like.
If you did a Swiss miss withthe shot of espresso, I think
it's going to be a little bitsweeter than a mocha.
(02:19):
Sweeter than a mocha?
Yeah.
I think well.
I think just because of yourchocolate ratio, it's probably a
little.
More.
Yeah, yeah, that's what I'msaying.
But a mochas good.
If you go to a nice coffeeplace, I bet it's more around
that level of sweetness.
Oh, I don't remember wherethis is because
I've never had it, but I thinkit's either in France or in New
York.
They do this crazy like it'smocha France.
(02:39):
It's in France, right?
God that mocha.
I think it's just hot chocolate.
I don't think there's anyespresso in.
There, really.
It's just hot chocolate.
Yeah.
Oh.
Well, I.
Think they dip the croissantsand.
Yeah.
Yeah.
France.
I thought that was France withit.
I would second guess myself onceit was.
Maybe it was NY.
Got a pastry in the club, andthen you'll really figure it
out, you know.
Yeah.
Use your clues and use yourclues.
(03:01):
Thanks.
Blue Blue's clues.
Yeah.
So I guess that's not coffee,but I still would like to try
that.
I mean, if you're going to havechocolate and a hot beverage,
it's got to be thick.
It's got to be.
Thicker than a snicker.
You know what I'm saying?
I hear you like a bowl ofoatmeal.
Totally agree.
With.
You.
Totally agree.
Would you have a mocha?
Yeah.
That's rare.
(03:21):
I feel like that's almost like aChristmas time drink.
Like you get a peppermint mocha.
I drink coffee like people smokecigarets.
I'm like, just give me acigaret.
Don't mess around in it.
I'm in.
You don't need dessert.
Fluff faze.
You know, I'm almost 30 now.
I'm a man we’re not celebratinganything.
We're just having a coffee.
Damn, that was a tough outlook.
Oh, I'm an adult, I pay taxes,I'm.
(03:43):
I drink coffee, I pay taxes.
I'm not an adult.
I'll take a mocha.
I'll take a mocha.
Next topic.
A flat white who orders those.
Old women.
Really?
That's who's ordering.
That's who I imagine Iwould have to.
You know, it'd be good ifwe could call into a Starbucks
barista right now.
I'm like, who's the flat whitedemographic?
(04:04):
Yeah, like I.
Think it's flat white old women.
Yeah, I could see that.
That makes sense.
The flat white for a flat white.
That's supposed to be me in liketen years.
I hate to break it to you.
Those things aren't going to getflat any time soon.
Flat from the back.
Flat from what what.
All right.
It's crazy with the thumbs andall that stuff.
(04:27):
Make canned coffee.
I.
You got yourself with that one.
Miss giggles over here.
Canned coffee can be reallyhit or miss.
It's mostly miss.
It's mostly.
Men.
It's almost always.
And even a decent canned coffee.
(04:48):
You're still like.
Yeah, like it this milk old.
Like, why does it taste almostalways like the milk's expired?
Yeah, it does kind of give that.
Even if it's like an oat milkcanned coffee, I'll be like,
that's expired.
Oh, I'm scared of the ones thataren't oat milk.
I'm like, this two percent'sbad.
There's no.
Way.
There's no way that this is ok.
Left in this.
This cow had this milk like ayear ago.
I said, thicker than a snickerfor this and not that.
(05:11):
Exactly.
I need that to be nice and runnyand I don't want any.
Oh.
Got runny.
Sounded bad coming out of acanned coffee too, though.
Yeah.
No, I wanted to be.
Oh, you know, it's okay.
It can be like a cold brew.
Cold brew canned is fine.
That's the best bitter.
That's the best option.
Yeah.
I feel like you can almost tastethe cans sometimes.
Yeah.
Especially if it's like a metal,like aluminum cans.
(05:31):
So it's it's metallic.
Like every can.
Yeah, but sometimes it's bottledin like a glass bottle.
Okay.
True.
Sometimes that's.
Okay.
I used to be all over theFrappuccino in the glass bottle.
What?
Yeah.
I've never had.
That.
Yeah, you.
Have you seen it?
Came in a four pack banger.
No.
What?
(05:51):
Oh, yes.
We'll put it up here.
Four pack Starbucks Frappuccino.
Like it's not iced cause its.
Just like.
Store glass.
Oh, it's in a glass.
Yeah.
That’s what we just said.
I know.
I'm.
Not listening And hay day everytime.
Really?
Oh, I would go into it.
That's crazy.
Now I want to try one.
It tastes like a frap like aFrappuccino right off the bat.
(06:15):
Just with that little icy bits.
You get them at gas stations.
Maybe.
I have had one.
You've definitely had one.
One.
All right, well, you're.
Crazy.
Anyways, next topic Up, a cold.
Brew.
I like cold brew I love coldbrew.
Cold brew can get so floral.
It's crazy.
That's what I was going to say.
When.
When you go to more artisanalplaces, I feel like they start
getting really floral and likecrazy, which is fine.
(06:37):
But also, I don't really want totaste flowers.
I want to taste coffee.
Okay, so you want to taste thecoffee, but like,
what is an acceptable thingif not floral to taste like?
Do you want to taste caramel?
Do you want to taste citrusbecause you want to taste wood
there's like lots of differentshit you can taste the coffee
roast with it.
Yeah, I think those threethings, I'm very yeah fine with
tasting.
You're okay with that?
(06:58):
But it's floral that I like.
Really.
It's just because it's soperfume like at that point I'm
like, I should be spraying thison my neck.
Yeah.
And I'd rather smell like.
Taste this.
Yeah.
Like, oh, I want to smell likethe hot girl that works at
Starbucks, not drink it.
Yeah.
That's valid.
Yeah.
Next topic.
(07:20):
Coffee farms.
I really think they'reinteresting.
I really want to go to one.
I want to go to that one BradLeone went to in, Oaxaca.
Yeah, that one was so cool.
That eco farm.
Cut to us in.
Oaxaca.
be so cool.
There's a real genie.
Like I'm a genie in a bottle.
Bewitched.
Little nose wiggle.
Right?
(07:41):
Yeah.
Yeah, I know I'd love to go tothat.
That one really made me hatelike, big scale coffee farming.
I was like, wow, this is anotherthing, killing the environment.
And these guys are doing greatthings, and I love them.
Yeah.
I mean, I just, Ilike a vacation in the woods
like that, you know?
So touch grass.
It really makes you every timeyou see a video of someone that
(08:02):
owned a coffee for you're like,oh, this is my retirement plan.
It puts respect on their name,and it just seems so cool.
Oh, you're like, this is whoI want to be.
They're the coolest people.
The coolest.
If you own a coffee farm, you'rethe coolest person.
Not a big one.
Little one.
A little one.
Pequeno.
Like.
Muy pequeno.
mm Si.
(08:23):
Next topic, local roasters.
also wanna be one of those.
Roasting your own beans outhere.
Yeah.
You can roast your own beans.
How?
In a pan.
In a roast‘em in a pan.
I feel like I wouldn’t do a goodjob.
I feel like I wouldn't do a goodjob either.
Yeah, I feel you just got to bea little bit of a larger scale
than that to do a good job.
Maybe.
Or that's.
(08:44):
Maybe that's really.
Just be like, oh, I roastedthese and they’re perfect.
Now where are you going to getraw beans to do it?
I don't know, I don't know, Idon't have a I don't have
the plug.
I'm sure you can figure that oneout.
I got call a few people andmaybe make some calls.
Yeah, I need some Ethiopianbeans.
STAT.
What's your favorite coffee beanlocation?
(09:05):
I'm always usually very happywith South American.
I was going to say Costa Ricanbeans.
I feel like always are reallygood.
Yeah.
Yeah Colombian beans are reallygood too.
Ethiopian.
Beans are nice though.
Yeah, they’re like classic.
Yeah I feel like if you want aclassic tasting coffee you
get an Ethiopian bean.
You gotta have that highaltitude.
Yeah.
Higher the altitude the better.
Got to get high.
(09:25):
Gotta get high.
Next topic.
Coffee shops.
Can be so good and both so bad.
Like what's the best part of acoffee shop.
Do they have to have a signaturedrink I think yes.
(09:48):
They need to nail a classiclatte.
Well, no, I think they need asignature drink.
Do you think I don't repeat go.
A signature latte?
Yeah.
I don't repeat customer placesthat don't have a signature
drink that I can't get somewhereelse.
Okay, that's true, actually,because I'm making my own coffee
at home, and I'm only goingout to get coffee to get
something special.
And a specific flavor.
Yeah.
I'm like, oh, I want to get thatcoffee there.
(10:09):
I want to get this coffee.
You know, I want that kind ofcream.
I want that kind of, you know.
Yeah.
No, they actually have to be100% right.
I don't know why I even thoughtI was going to say no on that
one.
There's a few coffee shops thatdon't, and I,
I've only been there when I waslike near it and I needed
coffee.
Yeah.
Like just I'm no I'm like yeahI'm not going to because I make
black coffee at home every otherday.
(10:31):
Yeah.
You know.
So why would you waste yourtime.
Yeah.
And it's like, how are you goingto open a coffee shop and
not have a signature thing toopen people up to get there?
Like, why would I comeif you didn't have something
special?
That's what I'm.
Saying.
Yeah.
No, I, I agree completely.
I was thinking about it andI was trying to give the nice
answer.
And the honest truth isyou have to you have to have
a signature drink.
And if you don't, don't bother.
So what's your favorite part ofa coffee shop?
(10:52):
That's the thing, I don't know.
I think it's the signaturedrink.
I don't know how much I careabout the esthetic, but
at the end of the day, I thinkpeople are putting a lot, a lot,
a lot of emphasis on the decor,which is important.
But if the coffee is shit I'mnot going back.
I'm gonna say most important.
And my favorite thing is goodservice and community.
Yeah, 100%.
I mean.
Without that, I mean, the coffeecan be not that great.
(11:12):
And I'll come back ifthe service community vibe was
nice.
I'm back in.
Okay, I get that.
but if.
I was at the barista and I feltuncomfortable ordering, I'm
like, like, this is, oh,this could be the best coffee
ever.
There's really good coffee shopon La Brea I'm not going to say
where because I don't I'm notgoing to do that.
Fine.
But I think their coffee'sfantastic and it's by Blues Dog
(11:34):
Groomer.
And I don't go because the vibeis always so terrible, and
I think the coffee's delicious.
But every time I go, thebaristas make me feel like I am
a piece of shit for orderingcoffee.
Yeah, I'm like, okay, why am Ihere?
I mean, our local coffee shop isinconsistent with the flavor
of the signature latte, butthey're always so nice to us.
(11:56):
We keep going.
Yeah, agreed.
And like, it's nice becauseyou go to oh, today's really
good ones.
It's not that good.
You just go.
No, I got it.
I got a coffee.
I got a coffee and they werenice to me.
Yeah.
So we're okay?
Yeah.
What's your least favorite thingabout a coffee shop?
Bad service.
Bad service, bad service.
It's both the worst side.
Which I get.
You're going to haveyour own stuff going on some
(12:16):
days.
Yeah, but if.
It's consistently bad.
There's some places that areconsistently a bad vibe.
Yeah.
Like the one on La Breathat's like, I don't.
I'm not coming here.
I don't care.
If you.
Oh or like a consistently toolong of a line, that’ll get me.
Good community good or what'sthat one in Silver Lake Maru?
It’s not Maru.
Something like that.
The one with the orange on topI don't know, I don't know that
(12:39):
one's line.
Also too long of the line.
Camel.
Yes.
Camel.
Delicious coffee lines.
Too long.
Really nice people that workthere though.
Really great service.
Once you get inside.
They really they're lines longbecause I take so much time
getting your order and makingsure you got what you wanted.
And that's why they're lineslong, which is great.
It's nice, but I don't likestanding in line that long.
(12:59):
There you go.
Sorry.
Next topic.
Best coffee in LA.
Best coffee in LA.
Yeah.
The best coffee in LA is theTurkish coffee in the Valley.
That's a good take.
I think the best coffee in L.A.
right now is that Memory Look,in K-Town.
(13:21):
Don't blow up our spot likethat.
I will bleep it out.
Yeah.
No Memory Look has insanelygood, coffee, the Einspainners
or whatever.
It really.
Good.
Well, I've figured out that eversince we've been there, that's
the type of coffee that it'sa type of coffee.
And it's also trending rightnow.
And to have, like a cream top.
Oh, yeah.
I didn't know that, that they'rereally hot right now.
Yeah, it's definitely dessert.
(13:43):
It's like it's like the new.
Yeah.
It's the new Frappuccino.
It's the new Frappuccino.
An I Einspainner is the newFrappuccino one.
Hundred percent.
100,000.
But memory looks really good.
Yes, memory looks really good.
And the place in the valley.
Yala.
Yeah, yeah.
Really good.
I really like that littlecoffee.
Little banger.
Yeah, a little sand coffee.
I think it almost as chocolaty.
It's possible.
(14:03):
I'm gonna say.
It.
I think there's sugarin the rim.
Yeah, but I'm saying theircoffee tastes chocolaty without
being a mocha.
I see what you're saying.
It's a little.
Chocolate roasted bean possibly.
Possibly?
Possibly.
Delicious.
That's my the sand.
Yala Coffee.
I'm favorite.
Actually, I'm craving that now.
I would like to go get thattomorrow.
Can’t get that anywhere else.
(14:23):
No, you can't get that anywhereelse.
I don't know one other place.
Okay.
Yeah, I would say memory.
Look, Yala.
And then I already forgot thename.
Camel.
There you go.
Delicious.
That's a good.
Yeah, that's a strong community.
Goods is good.
But I would also sayinconsistent.
Sometimes it's really good,sometimes it's not.
And their line's way too long.
(14:44):
The lines is crazy.
Their line stupid, but.
They usually have a nice placeto sit, which is also part of
the vibe.
Yeah, that's true.
Next topic.
Decaf.
Not worth it.
Fuck.
Decaf.
Fuck.
Decaf.
I feel like.
Unless you're pregnant, I.
Guess if I.
If I ever get pregnant, I'mprobably going to have decaf.
Yes, I'm kind of.
Sometimes you like.
I guess you want to ride therail a little.
Yeah.
(15:04):
You need to get the hit of atleast the flavor you want.
Yeah, but.
But yeah.
Otherwise fuck decaf.
I can no point.
I mean, yeah, I just it's.
Literally only for pregnantpeople.
but I feel like what you really.
You don't have the caffeine.
You need to show proof ofpregnancy when buying decaf.
Yeah, yeah.
You need to show proof ofpregnancy and or why.
Tell me why.
What's the reason you don't wantcaffeine?
Can’t handle it then don't drinkcoffee.
(15:25):
I don't know, I guess let‘emdrink, but.
Let them have what they want.
But I just don't, I can'trelate.
It's like lame.
It's like you're snorting babypowder.
Why are you doing it?
I don't know, no.
No one knows why they’re dointhat.
Like, I don't know, I don't havethere's not.
My brain doesn't go, oh, I wanta coffee flavor.
But no, you must really lovejust the flavor of coffee.
(15:48):
Then if you don't want anyof the like.
If you don't want any caffeine.
Caffeine?
Yeah, I don't.
Just I mean, maybe just healthfreak, but.
I mean, you really have to beagainst, like, what caffeine
does to your brain.
If you really want decaf thatbad, I, I'm fine with it.
I'll smooth my brain out justfine.
I want it to look like a bowlingball.
Okay.
Shiny, smooth one surface.
(16:10):
Then I think you wouldn't needto do decaf to do that.
No.
Yeah.
No.
The more damage you do to yourbrain, the more lumpy it gets
wrong.
We can fight about this later.
No.
You're wrong.
We can fight about it right now.
You're wrong, a bumpier brain ishealthier brain.
I don't think that's true.
Yeah.
A bumpier brain is a smarter,healthier brain.
(16:31):
I'll bet on it.
We have no one to ask.
We can ask Emma in the editEmma.
Give us the answer.
Next topic.
Oh.
Your turn.
Matcha.
Instead of coffeein the morning.
I can't do it.
I can do a.
You gotta go through the wholeceremony.
You gotta bless your ancestors.
(16:52):
Well, I just don't have thatkind of time in the morning.
I know, you know, you need thelittle rake, the little comb
and do that.
The whisk.
It's not a whisk.
It's some sort of spider.
There's a spoon.
And I think it's some sort of,hardened spider that they found.
Thousand year old.
Spider.
It's some sort of Japanesecursed Spider.
Got it.
(17:12):
That they used to make matcha.
Okay.
It works, it works.
You got to bloom that thing.
What are we doing?
We don't have time for thatcoffee, but we're American.
Yeah.
You know, most people havetea in the morning.
Most people do have teain the morning, which is kind of
wild.
We can't.
Do a tea episode, I'll tell youthat much.
I could not.
I couldn't tell you much abouttea except for a matcha.
(17:32):
And I still like to have itdirty.
Sorry.
Do you?
Is that how you say it?
Yeah, that's how you say itat the coffee shop.
You're a real perv, you knowthat you are.
Do freak.
You go give me a dirty matcha.
I'll say.
Give me two.
All right.
Next to me and.
One for the lady.
Oh, I'm making it an Einspainnerand put some cream on top.
(17:53):
Oh, my God, I'm.
Next topic.
Iced or hot coffee.
Hot at home.
Iced anywhere else.
Lately, I've been into icedat home since we've been having
so much ice in the house.
It’s crazy work.
I'm loving it.
It's crazy.
Yeah, I've been doing itevery day I did it, too.
I know.
You're psycho.
Yeah, I’m iced all day.
(18:14):
I'm ice everywhere except home.
Home is my hot coffee palace.
And let me live like that.
Live in your palace King.
Thank you.
Wow.
All right next topic.
I think we're out.
You're out.
I think I'm out.
Espresso martinis.
Great, pull! Thank you.
Espresso martinis.
Delicious.
I'll drink I’ll orderfive of them.
(18:35):
Put them in a Guinness glassI don't care.
I love an espresso martini.
I do too.
Caffeine and alcohol.
Thank you.
Delicious.
I will take an espresso martiniover a vodka Red bull any day.
I am so much happier.
Not true for me.
Because it depends where we are.
That's what I'm saying.
Depends where you are.
If it's if I'm out somewhere.
(18:56):
If I’m somewhere nice.
And I'm sitting down,even if I'm not sitting down
somewhere kind of nice somehow.
Who’s getting a vodka red bullsomewhere nice.
Oh, that's.
That's true psycho behavior.
Yeah.
You're you're jail.
If you're at a niceestablishment, you're like.
Vodka, Red bull.
I'd like a nice vodka.
Red bull, please.
Yeah.
Espresso martini, is theacceptable version for sure.
(19:19):
Yeah.
The caffeine alcohol kick.
Yeah.
There's not really any otheroptions that I know besides
vodka, red bull, espressomartini.
I don't know anything else,really.
Getting into the range ofcaffeine.
I've seen a couple of peoplemake matcha martinis, but it's
not like it's a thing that youcan get just anywhere or often.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or like a Four Loko.
I guess..
fuck a Four Loko.
That's crazy.
(19:40):
You're saying you're not ata nice establishment.
Bottom tier four Loko vodka, redbull.
Espresso martini.
That's your caffeinated alcoholand that's it.
And that's it.
And I think that's our show.
That's our coffee episode.
That's a coffee episode.
20 topics 20 minutes.
Period.
21 minutes.
21 One.
(20:00):
You guys got an extra onethis time I'd like to apologize
for.
The hair on my face.
It was for a personal bit, and Ididn't want to bring this upon
you people, but, you know, was.
It worth it?
Life gets crazy and was not thatworth it.
But that's what life'sall about.
Going for those little bits.
(20:20):
Even if they're not that worthit, you still did it.
You still send it anyway.
You had a little joke.
It worked out.
Yeah, this worst things inthe world than having a little
hair.
Definitely.
Yeah, definitely.
Do you have anything to sayto the people?
no.
Catch you next time.
Catch you next time.
All right, I'll catch you.
Let me know what, topicsyou want to hear.
That's about it.
(20:41):
All right, all right.
That's the Demon Babie.
That's coffee.
Let it rip.
Welcome to another episodeof the Demon Babie podcast.
It's me, Joey Lombardo, sittinghere with the busty barista
Blond Babie aka Emma Nilsson mybest friend in the whole world.
And, best co-host that, moneyhas to, at least this money can
afford.
Welcome to another episode ofDream Babie.
Today's topic is coffee.
(00:32):
Pretty good intro.
Today.
I loved it.
It was a really good intro.
You really, really nailed it.
Today I'm locking in onmy intros.
I think you are locked in.
I think nailing it well.
You know, it's only like episode21, so.
It's like episode 24.
We're aging.
It's getting up there.
Fine wine.
All right.
So first topic I thinkFrappuccinos are the gateway
drug to coffee.
(00:54):
Yeah.
It's like vaping.
Frappuccinos are the vapes ofcoffee.
Yeah.
Like an espresso is a cigaretbut a Frappuccinos vape.
I agree I agree I agree.
An espresso is an unfilteredcigaret.
Yes.
Yes exactly.
Should we be regulating childrendrinking frappuccinos.
Probably with the amount ofsugars and shit that's in those
(01:16):
is probably not that good foryou.
Yeah.
It's enough to lose a foot over.
But as someone who used to drinkone every day, you'll survive.
Hey.
We're here.
Frappuccinos.
Yes or no?
I mean, there's a time and placefor everything.
Even if I don't like it.
Anymore.
Most of the time, there's stilltime.
I'm like.
(01:36):
I could do it.
I'd rather get that than amilkshake, a Frappuccino.
I agree, it's actually waybetter than a milkshake.
It hits the spot and gives you alittle more up.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah, a milkshake.
I feel too heavy after.
Yeah, it's going to hurt yourstomach a little frappuccino
Frappuccino.
But you're a mocha frappuccino.
Not bad.
I was a caramel frappuccino.
Caramel Frappuccinos neverdid it for me.
I'm a chocolate kind of girl.
(01:56):
You're a chocolate girl.
So next topic.
Mocha coffee.
Mocha coffee is delicious.
Which is really just.
It's hot chocolate.
Yeah, it's hot chocolatewith a shot.
Although it's like a little morebitter than a proper hot
chocolate with a shot.
You think?
I like.
If you did a Swiss miss withthe shot of espresso, I think
it's going to be a little bitsweeter than a mocha.
(02:19):
Sweeter than a mocha?
Yeah.
I think well.
I think just because of yourchocolate ratio, it's probably a
little.
More.
Yeah, yeah, that's what I'msaying.
But a mochas good.
If you go to a nice coffeeplace, I bet it's more around
that level of sweetness.
Oh, I don't remember wherethis is because
I've never had it, but I thinkit's either in France or in New
York.
They do this crazy like it'smocha France.
(02:39):
It's in France, right?
God that mocha.
I think it's just hot chocolate.
I don't think there's anyespresso in.
There, really.
It's just hot chocolate.
Yeah.
Oh.
Well, I.
Think they dip the croissantsand.
Yeah.
Yeah.
France.
I thought that was France withit.
I would second guess myself onceit was.
Maybe it was NY.
Got a pastry in the club, andthen you'll really figure it
out, you know.
Yeah.
Use your clues and use yourclues.
(03:01):
Thanks.
Blue Blue's clues.
Yeah.
So I guess that's not coffee,but I still would like to try
that.
I mean, if you're going to havechocolate and a hot beverage,
it's got to be thick.
It's got to be.
Thicker than a snicker.
You know what I'm saying?
I hear you like a bowl ofoatmeal.
Totally agree.
With.
You.
Totally agree.
Would you have a mocha?
Yeah.
That's rare.
(03:21):
I feel like that's almost like aChristmas time drink.
Like you get a peppermint mocha.
I drink coffee like people smokecigarets.
I'm like, just give me acigaret.
Don't mess around in it.
I'm in.
You don't need dessert.
Fluff faze.
You know, I'm almost 30 now.
I'm a man we’re not celebratinganything.
We're just having a coffee.
Damn, that was a tough outlook.
Oh, I'm an adult, I pay taxes,I'm.
(03:43):
I drink coffee, I pay taxes.
I'm not an adult.
I'll take a mocha.
I'll take a mocha.
Next topic.
A flat white who orders those.
Old women.
Really?
That's who's ordering.
That's who I imagine Iwould have to.
You know, it'd be good ifwe could call into a Starbucks
barista right now.
I'm like, who's the flat whitedemographic?
(04:04):
Yeah, like I.
Think it's flat white old women.
Yeah, I could see that.
That makes sense.
The flat white for a flat white.
That's supposed to be me in liketen years.
I hate to break it to you.
Those things aren't going to getflat any time soon.
Flat from the back.
Flat from what what.
All right.
It's crazy with the thumbs andall that stuff.
(04:27):
Make canned coffee.
I.
You got yourself with that one.
Miss giggles over here.
Canned coffee can be reallyhit or miss.
It's mostly miss.
It's mostly.
Men.
It's almost always.
And even a decent canned coffee.
(04:48):
You're still like.
Yeah, like it this milk old.
Like, why does it taste almostalways like the milk's expired?
Yeah, it does kind of give that.
Even if it's like an oat milkcanned coffee, I'll be like,
that's expired.
Oh, I'm scared of the ones thataren't oat milk.
I'm like, this two percent'sbad.
There's no.
Way.
There's no way that this is ok.
Left in this.
This cow had this milk like ayear ago.
I said, thicker than a snickerfor this and not that.
(05:11):
Exactly.
I need that to be nice and runnyand I don't want any.
Oh.
Got runny.
Sounded bad coming out of acanned coffee too, though.
Yeah.
No, I wanted to be.
Oh, you know, it's okay.
It can be like a cold brew.
Cold brew canned is fine.
That's the best bitter.
That's the best option.
Yeah.
I feel like you can almost tastethe cans sometimes.
Yeah.
Especially if it's like a metal,like aluminum cans.
(05:31):
So it's it's metallic.
Like every can.
Yeah, but sometimes it's bottledin like a glass bottle.
Okay.
True.
Sometimes that's.
Okay.
I used to be all over theFrappuccino in the glass bottle.
What?
Yeah.
I've never had.
That.
Yeah, you.
Have you seen it?
Came in a four pack banger.
No.
What?
(05:51):
Oh, yes.
We'll put it up here.
Four pack Starbucks Frappuccino.
Like it's not iced cause its.
Just like.
Store glass.
Oh, it's in a glass.
Yeah.
That’s what we just said.
I know.
I'm.
Not listening And hay day everytime.
Really?
Oh, I would go into it.
That's crazy.
Now I want to try one.
It tastes like a frap like aFrappuccino right off the bat.
(06:15):
Just with that little icy bits.
You get them at gas stations.
Maybe.
I have had one.
You've definitely had one.
One.
All right, well, you're.
Crazy.
Anyways, next topic Up, a cold.
Brew.
I like cold brew I love coldbrew.
Cold brew can get so floral.
It's crazy.
That's what I was going to say.
When.
When you go to more artisanalplaces, I feel like they start
getting really floral and likecrazy, which is fine.
(06:37):
But also, I don't really want totaste flowers.
I want to taste coffee.
Okay, so you want to taste thecoffee, but like,
what is an acceptable thingif not floral to taste like?
Do you want to taste caramel?
Do you want to taste citrusbecause you want to taste wood
there's like lots of differentshit you can taste the coffee
roast with it.
Yeah, I think those threethings, I'm very yeah fine with
tasting.
You're okay with that?
(06:58):
But it's floral that I like.
Really.
It's just because it's soperfume like at that point I'm
like, I should be spraying thison my neck.
Yeah.
And I'd rather smell like.
Taste this.
Yeah.
Like, oh, I want to smell likethe hot girl that works at
Starbucks, not drink it.
Yeah.
That's valid.
Yeah.
Next topic.
(07:20):
Coffee farms.
I really think they'reinteresting.
I really want to go to one.
I want to go to that one BradLeone went to in, Oaxaca.
Yeah, that one was so cool.
That eco farm.
Cut to us in.
Oaxaca.
be so cool.
There's a real genie.
Like I'm a genie in a bottle.
Bewitched.
Little nose wiggle.
Right?
(07:41):
Yeah.
Yeah, I know I'd love to go tothat.
That one really made me hatelike, big scale coffee farming.
I was like, wow, this is anotherthing, killing the environment.
And these guys are doing greatthings, and I love them.
Yeah.
I mean, I just, Ilike a vacation in the woods
like that, you know?
So touch grass.
It really makes you every timeyou see a video of someone that
(08:02):
owned a coffee for you're like,oh, this is my retirement plan.
It puts respect on their name,and it just seems so cool.
Oh, you're like, this is whoI want to be.
They're the coolest people.
The coolest.
If you own a coffee farm, you'rethe coolest person.
Not a big one.
Little one.
A little one.
Pequeno.
Like.
Muy pequeno.
mm Si.
(08:23):
Next topic, local roasters.
also wanna be one of those.
Roasting your own beans outhere.
Yeah.
You can roast your own beans.
How?
In a pan.
In a roast‘em in a pan.
I feel like I wouldn’t do a goodjob.
I feel like I wouldn't do a goodjob either.
Yeah, I feel you just got to bea little bit of a larger scale
than that to do a good job.
Maybe.
Or that's.
(08:44):
Maybe that's really.
Just be like, oh, I roastedthese and they’re perfect.
Now where are you going to getraw beans to do it?
I don't know, I don't know, Idon't have a I don't have
the plug.
I'm sure you can figure that oneout.
I got call a few people andmaybe make some calls.
Yeah, I need some Ethiopianbeans.
STAT.
What's your favorite coffee beanlocation?
(09:05):
I'm always usually very happywith South American.
I was going to say Costa Ricanbeans.
I feel like always are reallygood.
Yeah.
Yeah Colombian beans are reallygood too.
Ethiopian.
Beans are nice though.
Yeah, they’re like classic.
Yeah I feel like if you want aclassic tasting coffee you
get an Ethiopian bean.
You gotta have that highaltitude.
Yeah.
Higher the altitude the better.
Got to get high.
(09:25):
Gotta get high.
Next topic.
Coffee shops.
Can be so good and both so bad.
Like what's the best part of acoffee shop.
Do they have to have a signaturedrink I think yes.
(09:48):
They need to nail a classiclatte.
Well, no, I think they need asignature drink.
Do you think I don't repeat go.
A signature latte?
Yeah.
I don't repeat customer placesthat don't have a signature
drink that I can't get somewhereelse.
Okay, that's true, actually,because I'm making my own coffee
at home, and I'm only goingout to get coffee to get
something special.
And a specific flavor.
Yeah.
I'm like, oh, I want to get thatcoffee there.
(10:09):
I want to get this coffee.
You know, I want that kind ofcream.
I want that kind of, you know.
Yeah.
No, they actually have to be100% right.
I don't know why I even thoughtI was going to say no on that
one.
There's a few coffee shops thatdon't, and I,
I've only been there when I waslike near it and I needed
coffee.
Yeah.
Like just I'm no I'm like yeahI'm not going to because I make
black coffee at home every otherday.
(10:31):
Yeah.
You know.
So why would you waste yourtime.
Yeah.
And it's like, how are you goingto open a coffee shop and
not have a signature thing toopen people up to get there?
Like, why would I comeif you didn't have something
special?
That's what I'm.
Saying.
Yeah.
No, I, I agree completely.
I was thinking about it andI was trying to give the nice
answer.
And the honest truth isyou have to you have to have
a signature drink.
And if you don't, don't bother.
So what's your favorite part ofa coffee shop?
(10:52):
That's the thing, I don't know.
I think it's the signaturedrink.
I don't know how much I careabout the esthetic, but
at the end of the day, I thinkpeople are putting a lot, a lot,
a lot of emphasis on the decor,which is important.
But if the coffee is shit I'mnot going back.
I'm gonna say most important.
And my favorite thing is goodservice and community.
Yeah, 100%.
I mean.
Without that, I mean, the coffeecan be not that great.
(11:12):
And I'll come back ifthe service community vibe was
nice.
I'm back in.
Okay, I get that.
but if.
I was at the barista and I feltuncomfortable ordering, I'm
like, like, this is, oh,this could be the best coffee
ever.
There's really good coffee shopon La Brea I'm not going to say
where because I don't I'm notgoing to do that.
Fine.
But I think their coffee'sfantastic and it's by Blues Dog
(11:34):
Groomer.
And I don't go because the vibeis always so terrible, and
I think the coffee's delicious.
But every time I go, thebaristas make me feel like I am
a piece of shit for orderingcoffee.
Yeah, I'm like, okay, why am Ihere?
I mean, our local coffee shop isinconsistent with the flavor
of the signature latte, butthey're always so nice to us.
(11:56):
We keep going.
Yeah, agreed.
And like, it's nice becauseyou go to oh, today's really
good ones.
It's not that good.
You just go.
No, I got it.
I got a coffee.
I got a coffee and they werenice to me.
Yeah.
So we're okay?
Yeah.
What's your least favorite thingabout a coffee shop?
Bad service.
Bad service, bad service.
It's both the worst side.
Which I get.
You're going to haveyour own stuff going on some
(12:16):
days.
Yeah, but if.
It's consistently bad.
There's some places that areconsistently a bad vibe.
Yeah.
Like the one on La Breathat's like, I don't.
I'm not coming here.
I don't care.
If you.
Oh or like a consistently toolong of a line, that’ll get me.
Good community good or what'sthat one in Silver Lake Maru?
It’s not Maru.
Something like that.
The one with the orange on topI don't know, I don't know that
(12:39):
one's line.
Also too long of the line.
Camel.
Yes.
Camel.
Delicious coffee lines.
Too long.
Really nice people that workthere though.
Really great service.
Once you get inside.
They really they're lines longbecause I take so much time
getting your order and makingsure you got what you wanted.
And that's why they're lineslong, which is great.
It's nice, but I don't likestanding in line that long.
(12:59):
There you go.
Sorry.
Next topic.
Best coffee in LA.
Best coffee in LA.
Yeah.
The best coffee in LA is theTurkish coffee in the Valley.
That's a good take.
I think the best coffee in L.A.
right now is that Memory Look,in K-Town.
(13:21):
Don't blow up our spot likethat.
I will bleep it out.
Yeah.
No Memory Look has insanelygood, coffee, the Einspainners
or whatever.
It really.
Good.
Well, I've figured out that eversince we've been there, that's
the type of coffee that it'sa type of coffee.
And it's also trending rightnow.
And to have, like a cream top.
Oh, yeah.
I didn't know that, that they'rereally hot right now.
Yeah, it's definitely dessert.
(13:43):
It's like it's like the new.
Yeah.
It's the new Frappuccino.
It's the new Frappuccino.
An I Einspainner is the newFrappuccino one.
Hundred percent.
100,000.
But memory looks really good.
Yes, memory looks really good.
And the place in the valley.
Yala.
Yeah, yeah.
Really good.
I really like that littlecoffee.
Little banger.
Yeah, a little sand coffee.
I think it almost as chocolaty.
It's possible.
(14:03):
I'm gonna say.
It.
I think there's sugarin the rim.
Yeah, but I'm saying theircoffee tastes chocolaty without
being a mocha.
I see what you're saying.
It's a little.
Chocolate roasted bean possibly.
Possibly?
Possibly.
Delicious.
That's my the sand.
Yala Coffee.
I'm favorite.
Actually, I'm craving that now.
I would like to go get thattomorrow.
Can’t get that anywhere else.
(14:23):
No, you can't get that anywhereelse.
I don't know one other place.
Okay.
Yeah, I would say memory.
Look, Yala.
And then I already forgot thename.
Camel.
There you go.
Delicious.
That's a good.
Yeah, that's a strong community.
Goods is good.
But I would also sayinconsistent.
Sometimes it's really good,sometimes it's not.
And their line's way too long.
(14:44):
The lines is crazy.
Their line stupid, but.
They usually have a nice placeto sit, which is also part of
the vibe.
Yeah, that's true.
Next topic.
Decaf.
Not worth it.
Fuck.
Decaf.
Fuck.
Decaf.
I feel like.
Unless you're pregnant, I.
Guess if I.
If I ever get pregnant, I'mprobably going to have decaf.
Yes, I'm kind of.
Sometimes you like.
I guess you want to ride therail a little.
Yeah.
(15:04):
You need to get the hit of atleast the flavor you want.
Yeah, but.
But yeah.
Otherwise fuck decaf.
I can no point.
I mean, yeah, I just it's.
Literally only for pregnantpeople.
but I feel like what you really.
You don't have the caffeine.
You need to show proof ofpregnancy when buying decaf.
Yeah, yeah.
You need to show proof ofpregnancy and or why.
Tell me why.
What's the reason you don't wantcaffeine?
Can’t handle it then don't drinkcoffee.
(15:25):
I don't know, I guess let‘emdrink, but.
Let them have what they want.
But I just don't, I can'trelate.
It's like lame.
It's like you're snorting babypowder.
Why are you doing it?
I don't know, no.
No one knows why they’re dointhat.
Like, I don't know, I don't havethere's not.
My brain doesn't go, oh, I wanta coffee flavor.
But no, you must really lovejust the flavor of coffee.
(15:48):
Then if you don't want anyof the like.
If you don't want any caffeine.
Caffeine?
Yeah, I don't.
Just I mean, maybe just healthfreak, but.
I mean, you really have to beagainst, like, what caffeine
does to your brain.
If you really want decaf thatbad, I, I'm fine with it.
I'll smooth my brain out justfine.
I want it to look like a bowlingball.
Okay.
Shiny, smooth one surface.
(16:10):
Then I think you wouldn't needto do decaf to do that.
No.
Yeah.
No.
The more damage you do to yourbrain, the more lumpy it gets
wrong.
We can fight about this later.
No.
You're wrong.
We can fight about it right now.
You're wrong, a bumpier brain ishealthier brain.
I don't think that's true.
Yeah.
A bumpier brain is a smarter,healthier brain.
(16:31):
I'll bet on it.
We have no one to ask.
We can ask Emma in the editEmma.
Give us the answer.
Next topic.
Oh.
Your turn.
Matcha.
Instead of coffeein the morning.
I can't do it.
I can do a.
You gotta go through the wholeceremony.
You gotta bless your ancestors.
(16:52):
Well, I just don't have thatkind of time in the morning.
I know, you know, you need thelittle rake, the little comb
and do that.
The whisk.
It's not a whisk.
It's some sort of spider.
There's a spoon.
And I think it's some sort of,hardened spider that they found.
Thousand year old.
Spider.
It's some sort of Japanesecursed Spider.
Got it.
(17:12):
That they used to make matcha.
Okay.
It works, it works.
You got to bloom that thing.
What are we doing?
We don't have time for thatcoffee, but we're American.
Yeah.
You know, most people havetea in the morning.
Most people do have teain the morning, which is kind of
wild.
We can't.
Do a tea episode, I'll tell youthat much.
I could not.
I couldn't tell you much abouttea except for a matcha.
(17:32):
And I still like to have itdirty.
Sorry.
Do you?
Is that how you say it?
Yeah, that's how you say itat the coffee shop.
You're a real perv, you knowthat you are.
Do freak.
You go give me a dirty matcha.
I'll say.
Give me two.
All right.
Next to me and.
One for the lady.
Oh, I'm making it an Einspainnerand put some cream on top.
(17:53):
Oh, my God, I'm.
Next topic.
Iced or hot coffee.
Hot at home.
Iced anywhere else.
Lately, I've been into icedat home since we've been having
so much ice in the house.
It’s crazy work.
I'm loving it.
It's crazy.
Yeah, I've been doing itevery day I did it, too.
I know.
You're psycho.
Yeah, I’m iced all day.
(18:14):
I'm ice everywhere except home.
Home is my hot coffee palace.
And let me live like that.
Live in your palace King.
Thank you.
Wow.
All right next topic.
I think we're out.
You're out.
I think I'm out.
Espresso martinis.
Great, pull! Thank you.
Espresso martinis.
Delicious.
I'll drink I’ll orderfive of them.
(18:35):
Put them in a Guinness glassI don't care.
I love an espresso martini.
I do too.
Caffeine and alcohol.
Thank you.
Delicious.
I will take an espresso martiniover a vodka Red bull any day.
I am so much happier.
Not true for me.
Because it depends where we are.
That's what I'm saying.
Depends where you are.
If it's if I'm out somewhere.
(18:56):
If I’m somewhere nice.
And I'm sitting down,even if I'm not sitting down
somewhere kind of nice somehow.
Who’s getting a vodka red bullsomewhere nice.
Oh, that's.
That's true psycho behavior.
Yeah.
You're you're jail.
If you're at a niceestablishment, you're like.
Vodka, Red bull.
I'd like a nice vodka.
Red bull, please.
Yeah.
Espresso martini, is theacceptable version for sure.
(19:19):
Yeah.
The caffeine alcohol kick.
Yeah.
There's not really any otheroptions that I know besides
vodka, red bull, espressomartini.
I don't know anything else,really.
Getting into the range ofcaffeine.
I've seen a couple of peoplemake matcha martinis, but it's
not like it's a thing that youcan get just anywhere or often.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or like a Four Loko.
I guess..
fuck a Four Loko.
That's crazy.
(19:40):
You're saying you're not ata nice establishment.
Bottom tier four Loko vodka, redbull.
Espresso martini.
That's your caffeinated alcoholand that's it.
And that's it.
And I think that's our show.
That's our coffee episode.
That's a coffee episode.
20 topics 20 minutes.
Period.
21 minutes.
21 One.
(20:00):
You guys got an extra onethis time I'd like to apologize
for.
The hair on my face.
It was for a personal bit, and Ididn't want to bring this upon
you people, but, you know, was.
It worth it?
Life gets crazy and was not thatworth it.
But that's what life'sall about.
Going for those little bits.
(20:20):
Even if they're not that worthit, you still did it.
You still send it anyway.
You had a little joke.
It worked out.
Yeah, this worst things inthe world than having a little
hair.
Definitely.
Yeah, definitely.
Do you have anything to sayto the people?
no.
Catch you next time.
Catch you next time.
All right, I'll catch you.
Let me know what, topicsyou want to hear.
That's about it.
(20:41):
All right, all right.
That's the Demon Babie.
That's coffee.
Let it rip.
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