023 Why Your Toddler Isn’t Listening — And What to Do About It with Heather Schalk

Ever feel like your toddler is just ignoring you on purpose?
You’ve asked nicely (three times), tried raising your voice, or even taken a toy away — and still, they won’t listen. Before you start second-guessing yourself or wondering if it’s just your child, take a deep breath. You are not alone — and there’s a powerful reason behind this common toddler behaviour.

In this episode, Ruth sits down with parenting and behaviour specialist Heather Schalk to uncover why toddlers really don’t listen — and it’s not what you might think.

Connect with Heather
https://heatherschalkparentingblog.com/
@HeatherSchalkParenting

This conversation dives into what’s going on beneath the surface of toddler behaviour. We explore how so-called “defiance” is often a sign of underdeveloped emotional, communication, or social skills — not a problem with your parenting.

Together, Ruth and Heather unpack:

• Why toddlers ignore instructions (spoiler: it's not always intentional!)
• The Toddler Reactivity Loop — what it is, how to spot it, and how to break the cycle
• The role of play schemas in behaviour — and how to work with them, not against them
• How to tell if your toddler is actually regulated and ready to listen
• Why “connect before correct” leads to calmer, more confident parenting

Practical Tips You Can Use Right Away

This isn’t just theory — it’s full of real-world strategies for real-life parents. You’ll learn how to:

• Tune in to your child’s cues before giving instructions
• Use transition items and visual cues to support smoother routines
• Respond to big emotions with empathy — while still holding boundaries
• Teach self-advocacy phrases like “My turn next” or “I’m not done yet”
• Praise natural moments of waiting or cooperation to build emotional resilience
• Reframe common challenges (like spilling milk or toy-throwing) into learning moments

You’ll hear relatable examples from Heather’s own life with twins and Ruth’s practical insights into how play schemas shape your child’s behaviour — even when it seems challenging.

You’re Doing Better Than You Think!

Parenting toddlers is exhausting. It’s full of curveballs, chaos, and so many questions. But with just a little shift in perspective, you can turn everyday frustrations into meaningful opportunities for growth — for both you and your child.

This episode will leave you feeling supported, seen, and more

Send us a text

If you’ve ever wished you had a group of parents who just get it — welcome to The Play Schemas Collective. It’s where you can ask questions without judgement, share those little wins only another parent would understand, and dive deeper into your child’s play with people who speak your language. Join us at playschemas.com/collective — we can’t wait to meet you.

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I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.

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