Derate The Hate
Bettering the world one attitude at a time. We did not create the hate, but together, we can πΏππ§ππ©π πππ πππ©π! In a world filled with divisiveness, and dominated by F.O.G. (Fear, Outrage & Grievance), it's time we find a better way to engage. That all starts with each of us as individuals. We cannot control all that we encounter within our day to day lives, or the environment in which we live, but we certainly have the ability and responsibility to control how we react to it. For me, it starts with gratitude and personal accountability. Take a listen and see if there is something here to help you in taking your part in turning down the hate. Welcome to the πΏππ§ππ©π πππ πππ©π ππ€ππππ¨π©...
Episodes
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Elizaveta Friesem has spent her career trying to understand why people who could be connected end up disconnected instead — and why so much of that disconnection gets explained away with blame. Her book, Media Is Us, starts from a simple but disruptive idea: media isn't some outside force manipulating us. It's just another form of human communication, s...
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Shaka Mitchell is a lawyer and education policy veteran who built something unusual out of a pandemic-era habit: getting friends together once a month, picking songs tied to a theme, and talking about why. That casual ritual became the Come Together Music Project, now a podcast and live event series Shaka's run with friends, strangers, and colleagues across t...
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Maryam Mehrtash spent nearly two decades building narratives for Marvel, Disney, Paramount, and some of the biggest brands in entertainment. Before that, she was a refugee kid learning English from cartoons, carrying forward the storytelling legacy of a grandmother who was imprisoned in Iran for the same gift.
In this conversation, Wilk and Maryam dig into wha...
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Julia Minson has spent 25 years studying disagreement—not how to win arguments, but how people actually engage with views that conflict with their own. She’s a Harvard professor, a behavioral scientist, and the author of How to Disagree Better. This conversation gets into the heart of her research.
One of the most useful ideas in the episode: being...
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Diego Sanchez grew up undocumented in the United States. Jim Robb spent nearly thirty years fighting for immigration restrictions. They sat down at the same table, and discovered something neither of them fully expected: they could trust each other.
This bonus episode drops ahead of the 2026 Braver Angels National Convention in Philadelphia—where Diego a...
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What if the problem isn't the people on the other side — what if the problem is just hard? Martin Carcasson has spent 20 years building deliberative processes in Northern Colorado that help communities move from argument to action. The Center for Public Deliberation he founded at CSU has run over 600 community meetings, working with local governments, s...
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Jan Jekielek spent years as a human rights worker before becoming a journalist — and the story he couldn't stop following eventually became Killed to Order, a New York Times bestselling investigation into China's forced organ harvesting industry. In this conversation, Jan and Wilk focus on a question at the center of both the book and the show: what doe...
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Kevin Dolan and Peter Calfee met at a Veterans Day luncheon in 2022 and spent three years writing Hijacked: Our Republic — a book built around one essential question: what does it take to keep what the founders built?
In this conversation, Kevin and Peter walk through the six foundational pillars they believe hold a republic together — critical thi...
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Brian Vogt spent 20-plus years strengthening democracy around the world. Then he came home—and started listening. His Democracy Listening Tour of Red America is a qualitative research project with a simple but radical premise: before you can reform anything, you have to understand what people actually believe and why.
In this conversation, Brian and Wilk...
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Michael Lee is a professor of communication and the director of the Civility Initiative at the College of Charleston. He came to civility work through competitive debate—and found that debate, at its best, is deeply connective and dialogic. In this conversation, Michael and Wilk explore what’s really going on when people avoid disagreement, and wh...
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What happens when a gun violence prevention researcher walks into a gun shop, sits down with the owner, and actually listens? For Dr. Michael Siegel, it changed everything.
In this episode, Wilk sits down with Dr. Mike Siegel to talk about his Bridging the Divide on Firearm Policy project — a three-year effort that brought together 23 gun owners and ...
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Many Americans now feeling we’re too divided to agree on anything. Rich Harwood disagrees — and he has the stories to back it up. In this episode, Rich returns to DTH to talk about the new moral vision he sees emerging across the country: a shared yearning for decency, dignity, and the belief that we can still come together and get things done.
Ric...
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Corey Nathan, host of "Talkin' Politics and Religion Without Killin' Each Other" joins Wilk for a conversation about what it actually takes to bridge divides, starting with one of the hardest conversations a person can have: telling your Orthodox Jewish father you've become a Christian.
They dig into the real mechanics of tribalism — how confirmation bia...
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Spike Cohen — 2020 Libertarian VP candidate, founder of You Are The Power — sits down with Wilk to talk about what happens when families are torn apart by a system that never had to answer to anyone. Until now.
You Are The Power is a nonprofit that steps in when local government oversteps. They research cases, amplify stories, organize people, and ...
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Most people have spent their entire lives being measured — by achievement, status, approval, income, influence. It feels normal because it's constant. But Regi Wilson, founder of Equal Universe and creator of the Value Identity framework, argues that this is exactly the problem. We've been running on a broken definition of human worth, and the damage sh...
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Doug Teschner and Beth Malow return to Derate the Hate for a catch-up conversation following the release of their book, Beyond the Politics of Contempt: Practical Steps to Build Positive Relationships in Divided Times. The book has sold over a thousand copies, earned a Literary Titan Award, and is drawing audiences from across the political spectrum — i...
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Monica Harris returns to Derate the Hate — this time in person — to talk about FAIR's newly renamed curriculum, Many Stories, One Nation. It's a high school social studies elective that takes a different approach to teaching American history: broad, honest, chronological, and built around civil discourse.
Monica breaks down what separates this curr...
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You've heard the Golden Rule your whole life. Jennifer Furlong says it's a great start — but it's not enough.
In this episode, Wilk welcomes back communications strategist and coach Jennifer Furlong (Communication TwentyFourSeven) for a conversation that's equal parts practical and eye-opening. They dig into the Platinum Rule — the idea that truly ...
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What do you do when the world stares at you everywhere you go?
Brandon Farbstein was born with metatropic dysplasia — one of only 84 documented cases in human history. Growing up at 3’9" in a world that pointed, stared, and laughed, he reached a breaking point at 11 years old where he just wanted to disappear.
Then something shifted. Therapy. A chan...
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What does it take to walk away from an ideology you were raised inside of — and then spend your career pulling others out of the same darkness?
Allizandra Herberhold grew up in a racially segregated community where white supremacist ideology was woven into the fabric of everyday life. She didn't choose it. It was handed to her by trusted adults who knew ...
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