August 23, 2023 • 53 mins
Taking the biggest leap of faith, Sasha Simmons shares the battles and the fears she faced when deciding to no longer associate herself with everything she knew and everything that defined her as a person growing up. She stepped away from her religious cult.
Today, Sasha is a professional speaker and empowerment activist helping people navigate life to the absolute fullness.
Topics Covered:
- Being raised in a very strict religious cult
- The eye opening move to New York from Jacksonville, FL
- The journey with Semester at Sea
- Being strategic and intentional to reach your North Star
- Living my life for Me and deciding to leave my religion
- How I learned so much about myself with Vipassana 10 day meditation
Guest Info:
Resources:
- Vipassana
- Garrain Jones TEDx Talk, Using Artist Power to Reclaim Your Authentic Self
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Sponsors:
Thanks to Pamoja for supporting Diaries of a Modern Trailblazer
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Stephanie (00:01):
I am Stephanie Evans and this is Diaries of a Modern
Trailblazer.
Take note of the journey and beinspired to forge your own
amazing path.
it's always so great to talk toyou.
And I'm just honestly honored tohave you speak.
(00:22):
Um, so just to get started, justtell us more about who Miss
Sasha Simmons is.
Sasha Simmons (00:28):
Yes.
First of all, Stephanie, thankyou so much for creating this
platform and being the dynamictrailblazer that you are.
I have admired you for so longsince we initially met and just
really happy to be on thispodcast with you.
Sasha, who am I?
All right.
I am a professional speaker.
(00:49):
I am an empowerment activist.
I really, truly, really believein helping individuals navigate
the life that they are able toexperience on this earth and
live it to its absolute fullnessright to experience the fullness
of life.
So many times there are so manythings really inhibiting us from
(01:10):
being able to live fully andlive freely things that we've
learned things that we believethe self talk that's going on in
our head and so I know what thatfeels like because I live that
way for so long.
And being able to step outsideof that and recognizing your
power and realizing who you areis what I'm truly passionate
about.
So tied up in that ismotivational speaking.
(01:31):
It's professional developmentseries to, you know, help
leaders and train them as well,giving them tools that's going
to allow them to tap into theirtoolbox and pull it out whenever
necessary.
So that's what I do day to dayprofessionally.
That's what I, that's what Ilove.
That's what I live by.
Stephanie (01:51):
Amazing.
So just give us the backdrop ofhow you got there.
Sasha Simmons (01:56):
Yeah.
All right.
So, once upon a time, I wasraised in a cult.
Think a cult like religion, uh,very strict.
Particularly to women.
And the thing about it is likethe name of it is so this cult
(02:18):
right is a religious cult, andit's based in Christianity and
it's like apostolicChristianity.
And when I say that I want toqualify that statement, because
there are some people who mayhave familiarity with it, but
what we have to understand isthat, apostolic religions,
they're on a spectrum, sothere's a more loose end of the
spectrum, and then there's areally strict end of the
(02:40):
spectrum.
And the version that I grew upin is incredibly strict to
women, like, I mean, oppressive,you could not speak, you had to,
like, speak when spoken to.
I had to be covered from head totoe.
Growing up, you couldn't playsports.
You couldn't go to prom.
You can't wear jewelry.
You can't wear the colors pinkor red or yellow.
You can't have on open toeshoes.
(03:00):
You can't have on backlessshoes.
You can't have your neck toolow.
Your dress has to be right aboveyour ankle.
Like you can only wear blue orblack shoes.
Like there are just a lot ofrules around it that was
incredibly controlling.
But beyond it controlling thedress, right?
The thing that was really, Ithink most damaging is the mind
(03:24):
control that it had over me andthat it had over all its
members.
You think that you are stuck andthis is all that you can do and
you are absolutely living infear because these are the
things that you were taught.
Like Stephanie, I literallyremember thinking that I would
go blind for watching TV becauseI was raised and taught from as
(03:45):
far back as I can remember— ifyou watch tv, if you watch a
movie, Sasha, God will take youreyesight and go and you will go
blind and you may die.
Stephanie (03:53):
Oh my gosh.
Sasha Simmons (03:54):
Like, it, it it's extreme
Stephanie (03:56):
Yeah.
Sasha Simmons (03:56):
And this was, this was my norm.
This was what I thought and knewto be true.
And, um, it's, it's how I livedand, and existed for so long.
And then I got an opportunityto.
Go to college, which is reallyinteresting because my
generation, our generation wasthe first in the religion that
was allowed to go to college.
(04:17):
Before us, they weren't allowedto go to college.
And so...
Stephanie (04:19):
Let me just take a step back.
How was your education?
Like your primary education?
Was it within that cult?
Sasha Simmons (04:27):
Yeah, that's a good question.
There, my primary education wasactually not within the cult.
We did not have a school.
So we were, I was in publicschool, but there were things
like, so, you know, in America,we have, um, freedom of
religion, right?
You have that level ofprotection.
So one of the things we weren'tallowed to do was get any
vaccinations.
(04:48):
And so going to school, I didn'thave any vaccinations.
But growing up, you're able toget something called a religious
waiver that allows you to stillgo to school with the rest of
the students.
So I was in school with the restof the students, and that was
really hard because, here's thisgirl.
Everybody looked at me like,like, who's this girl?
She looks crazy.
She's dressing funny.
(05:09):
Yeah.
And I just, I didn't fit in withanybody at my school.
I had a couple of friends hereand there, but.
Because we were, you know,assimilating in some ways, and
then not assimilating in otherways, it just made it really
difficult for me to figure outwho I was my place in the world.
But the other thing, Stephanieis that it gave me also a level
(05:30):
of power that I would not knowuntil later on, as I as I
continue to grow as a youngperson.
Stephanie (05:38):
That's really interesting.
So let's, let's step into thecollege experience for you.
Sasha Simmons (05:44):
Yes, so then fast forward from, you know, primary
education going into secondaryeducation.
I knew I wanted to go tocollege.
Really wanted to figure out howto make this happen.
I did not have funding, but Iknew that somebody had to pay
for college somehow, so Istarted applying for
scholarships my junior year andin high school.
(06:05):
And I applied for as many as Icould.
I wrote so many essays.
I will say one of the things wewere allowed to do in the
religion was read.
Right— read books.
And I read the entireencyclopedia set from A to Z, my
brother and I.
Everything, literally from thegeographical elements of the
Appalachian Mountains to theproperties of zinc, like
literally, we learned about allof it.
Stephanie (06:26):
Yeah, I mean, if you can watch TV.
Sasha Simmons (06:29):
Because we could— yeah, yeah.
So that was what we did instead.
And, as a result of that, I hada lot of knowledge and could
carry on conversations that,your average 17 year old in the
early 2000s probably couldn'tcarry didn't have.
And so I utilized a lot of thethings that I learned through
reading and apply that to myessays that I was writing and in
(06:49):
using to go to college.
And I was, I was awarded over amillion dollars in scholarships.
I'm not sure if you know that ornot.
Like I got a shit ton ofscholarships.
Stephanie (07:00):
Oh wow.
Sasha Simmons (07:01):
I was balling in scholarships! It was great.
And I convinced the, the pastorof my church to let me go to New
York because we had a churchlocation in New York.
And I wanted to go to NYU, so Iconvinced him that if they let
me go, I would go to church,like every, every single service
and, you know, be this good girlin the city.
(07:21):
And they said yes.
So I went to New York and girl,I lost my damn mind.
Stephanie (07:30):
Yeah.
Sasha Simmons (07:31):
Oh.
Stephanie (07:32):
And tell us where you are coming from.
Sasha Simmons (07:34):
Jacksonville, Florida.
I was coming from Jacksonville,Florida.
So it was a long way from home.
Yeah.
Long way from home.
Stephanie (07:42):
And a totally different world.
Sasha Simmons (07:44):
Oh, completely different.
And you know, here's the thingwhen I got to New York.
People were telling me so manythings about New York, like,
right.
New York is New York.
If you had an opportunity to goto New York, you know what it's
like.
Like, you have to be fast.
You have to be on it.
It's it's in your face.
It's, you know— it's, it's a lotto deal with.
And I won't lie.
Initially when I got up there, Ifelt myself kind of like taking,
(08:08):
getting scared.
Like, Oh my gosh!
Stephanie (08:09):
Yeah, it's intimidating.
Sasha Simmons (08:10):
And also Stephanie, I was missing so many
tools because I was literallycoming from this world where, I
just didn't have a lot of thetools that my counterparts had.
I would learn that later, but Ijust didn't have it.
And so— it was a bitintimidating for me.
And anytime I feel intimidatedby something, my philosophy is
(08:31):
to double down, to double downinto it.
And girl, you better figure thatshit out some way, somehow.
So, um, I, everything while Iwas at NYU that scared me, that
gave me pause, that made me go.
If it made, if it gave me thatfeeling, then I forced myself to
do it until I got that out of mysystem.
So I would go up, talk to all,everybody, any person that I
(08:52):
could meet, the president,whoever I felt intimidated by, I
would force myself to do it sothat I could get like out of
being so, so, so, so terrified.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it's, you know, it taughtme, it taught me so much and
there's a long journey of likethe first time I felt the wind
on my legs.
I was walking in New York and Ihad on a jean skirt that was
(09:13):
like below my knee and I hadnever felt that feeling before I
was like...
Stephanie (09:18):
Right, because your dresses were like above the
ankle.
Sasha Simmons (09:24):
Yeah, above the ankle and I had on stockings
underneath like these thickcotton stockings is what they're
called.
These brown stockings thatsharecroppers wear actually— is
what we wore.
And so I had never felt that.
And so for me I had like thesemilestone moments like I was I
remember I was in a calculusclass.
And I had started to experimentwith pants at this point because
(09:46):
you couldn't wear pants at all.
And I remember sitting in mychair with my legs crossed in
class.
And I felt so fucking liberated.
Like, I felt like I can takeover the world.
I am sitting here with my legscrossed.
I've never been able to sit withmy legs crossed like this in
school because I always had on astraight skirt.
Learning calculus right at NYUat 19 years old, like the world
(10:11):
is my oyster and I'm going tomake something amazing and
fantastic out of my life.
Like that's what I wasdistinctively remember feeling
like that in that calculusclass.
Now calculus is not my jam so Istruggled.
I struggled in that class butyou know that moment of
liberation that I felt issomething I'll never forget.
Stephanie (10:31):
That's beautiful.
You know, you mentioned theworld being your oyster.
And you know— we kind of hadthat experience.
And that was how we met.
We did Semester at Sea while wewere both, um, continuing our
undergraduate studies.
So tell us a bit about thatexperience for you.
Sasha Simmons (10:55):
Wow.
So, let me, let me take you backto childhood and then bring it
forward.
As a child, reading theencyclopedias, I would like,
look at the Taj Mahal and lookat the Great Wall of China and
close my eyes and imagine myselfstanding in front of the Taj
Mahal and climbing up the GreatWall of China.
(11:16):
And then I would think, okay,this is probably— I don't know
if this is going to happen.
Like I'm this little girl in thehood that's all around the other
side of the world.
It may never happen.
And then I learned aboutSemester at Sea.
I think maybe my sophomore orjunior year.
I think my sophomore year.
And I remember distinctivelybeing so excited, but also
(11:39):
wanting somebody to go with me.
And I was trying to convince myfriend to go with me on this
journey.
And I remember talking to mymentor at the time, my very
first mentor.
And I was like, you know, Ireally want to go, but I don't
want to go by myself.
I'm trying to get my friend togo with me, but she's scared.
And my mentor told me somethingthat has lived with me and stuck
(12:01):
with me for years.
And that is— you can't be afraidto do it alone.
The people who are meant to bein your life, you will meet on
the journey.
Stephanie (12:10):
Yeah.
Sasha Simmons (12:11):
I literally just got chills saying that to you.
Can we just pause for that?
You can't be afraid to do italone.
The people that you will, Idon't even remember what I just
said, but you will meet likeyour people on the journey.
Like you, you have to go becauseyou'll meet your people.
And, um, he's so right, Steph.
Because we met so many dynamicand amazing people.
(12:32):
I mean, that was years ago andyou and I are still friends.
That was 2000, 2008.
We left, we left America beforeObama became president.
Stephanie (12:42):
Right.
That was amazing.
And to be in Africa when thatwas happening too.
Sasha Simmons (12:52):
It was, it was so beautiful and just something
that I remember, and I tellpeople all the time, I mean, we
circumnavigated a globe, right?
We lived the same day twice.
November, I think it wasNovember, November 27.
We had to November 27.
Um,
Stephanie (13:10):
I don't remember what day that was.
Okay.
Sasha Simmons (13:12):
I don't remember the day.
It was November.
Stephanie (13:13):
November 27 was my birthday in Hawaii, eating KFC
on the beach.
Okay.
My 21st birthday.
Sasha Simmons (13:23):
That was your 21st birthday?
Stephanie (13:24):
Yeah.
Sasha Simmons (13:25):
Wow.
Okay.
All right.
Well, then it must have beenafter that, right?
When we passed Before that whenwe passed the international
Dateline.
I can't remember.
Stephanie (13:33):
I don't remember when we did that, but, we definitely
did.
Sasha Simmons (13:37):
We, we definitely did it.
I was like, it is the same dayagain, Um, so like, just, I
learned so much on that, thatjourney and I did it scared.
And that's the thing, right?
One of the things about buildingthe life you want for yourself
is that you have to do itscared.
Nobody have all of the answersto anything today.
(13:59):
That's not how it works, right?
This was a lesson I had tolearn.
I was terrified in undergrad offailing.
Literally, I was like, I neverwant to fail.
Like what happens?
And then I recognized thatfailure and success, it's like
peanut butter and jelly.
Like it just goes together.
You can't, you're not going tohave one without the other.
And so you have to becomfortable in that fail fast,
(14:19):
learn from your lessons, youknow, course correct.
And then, you know, hopefullyhave a better outcome the next
time.
But I learned so much on thatjourney and I learned the power
of humanity and what it lookslike right across the world, all
these different peoplepracticing different religions,
all these different cultures,still being able to love and to
(14:41):
give and like, there was just sohumility that so much humility
that I took from that journeyand ultimately I recognize that
everybody in the world wantthree things.
They want to feel safe, valued,and respected.
I don't care who you are, whereyou're from.
Everybody wants to feel thosethings.
Stephanie (14:55):
Yep.
Absolutely.
What would you say waspersonally your biggest learning
in that experience?
Sasha Simmons (15:04):
I think I truly learned the gift of what it
meant to be born in America,honestly.
And I know that our country havea lot of problems and a lot of
challenges.
God knows.
I know that there's so much workand so much improvement that we
(15:25):
can make, but truly being beingborn an American citizen gives
you access in a way that a lotof people around the world
simply do not have.
Just that level— that alone.
And I learned that at 20 yearsold, right?
Stephanie (15:43):
Mm-hmm.
Sasha Simmons (15:44):
When we were, when we were able to take this
journey of discovery and, and itwas an opportunity for me to
really value that.
Really value what it means tohave clean water, right?
What it really, really means tohave clean food.
To be safe, and uh, and it'sjust, For me, it put things in
perspective because it's easy totake things for granted.
(16:06):
And to this day, anytime I startfeeling like, Oh, what was me?
Life is lifing.
I'll pull out my old pink DVDplayer.
Cause yes, I have a pink DVDplayer from college.
I will play and watch mySemester at Sea video.
And it reminds me of, of life.
(16:27):
It reminds me to be grateful ofall the gifts and all the
beautiful things that we have.
So I think for me, my biggestlearning was, man, to just be,
to be born in this, in America,to have that is really a gift
and it's something that weshould absolutely leverage and
just be appreciative of.
Stephanie (16:46):
I absolutely agree with you on that.
We do take a lot of things forgranted here.
A lot of things that we haveaccess to that so many people
around the world do not.
You know, like just being ableto turn on the faucet and having
clean water and not having towalk miles to get a gallon that
(17:07):
you have to carry back home.
Sasha Simmons (17:10):
And use for the week.
Stephanie (17:11):
Yes.
Um, and that, like having thatexperience really made me
realize that I am a worldcitizen, and I need to do my
part to make this world a betterplace, which is one of the
reasons why I work with theorganization, the Kujuwa
(17:31):
Initiative, which supplies girlswith reusable upcycled sanitary
napkins for them to continuetheir education undisrupted
because it's, it's notaccessible for them, when that
time of the month comes, youknow, and that's just so it's
(17:59):
just second nature here in thiscountry to have access to those
types of things.
Um, so yeah, that's,
Sasha Simmons (18:07):
That's a beautiful cause and a worthy
mission.
Yeah.
It's humbling.
It's humbling when you learn theway that that people have to
live in the world.
Right.
So kudos to you for, for beingwilling to put that level of
work in so that girls, you know,across the world have access to
something so important.
Stephanie (18:26):
I appreciate it.
You talk about living lifewithout limits, and it was
really interesting to hear aboutyour upbringing and what it is
you're doing now.
What does it mean to live lifewithout limits?
Sasha Simmons (18:50):
Stephanie with the big questions.
For me, living without limits isdoing all the things that scare
you.
All the things that make yousecond guess— am I taking the
right thing?
Maybe I shouldn't do thisbecause fear is crippling,
right?
Like you can be so afraid ofsomething that you just freeze.
(19:11):
And the next thing you know, 30years have rolled by and you
still have that, that geniusidea rolling in the back of your
head.
Or you watch somebody else liveout your dream because the dream
had to be fulfilled and it wentto someone else.
For me, living life withoutlimits truly is— Oh man, I want
to learn how to fly an airplane,but I'm terrified to be a pilot.
(19:33):
Let me sign up in 2023 to learnhow to fly an airplane.
Stephanie (19:39):
Are you doing that?
Sasha Simmons (19:40):
No.
Stephanie (19:43):
I wouldn't be surprised.
Sasha Simmons (19:44):
It's, it's a no, not yet, but maybe.
Maybe I don't, I don't have adeep desire for it yet, but, um,
but it may, it may come in thefuture.
We'll, we'll see.
Stephanie (19:57):
Gotcha.
Sasha Simmons (19:58):
But it is just doing, doing your biggest fear,
like what happened if it workedout?
What happened if you are themogul of this great company and
you were so afraid to start itand you want it to stay in this
bubble or this box that societyhave put you in?
Or worse a box that you've putyourself in right as a response
to societal norms and thingsyou've been told.
(20:19):
So you know if whatever yourfear is write it on the write it
on the board write it on yourboard somewhere As long as it's
safe, I'm not saying go out hereand be reckless, put that
qualifying statement in becauseI don't want nobody blaming me
later on.
As long as it's safe, write iton the board and figure out what
the steps are to get it done andgo do it.
Stephanie (20:44):
So I get that part.
And it's, it's a lot easier saidthan done.
I mean, it's easy to write itdown.
But how do we actually push thatboundary and take that leap of
faith?
Sasha Simmons (21:01):
Yeah, so for me, I have accountability partners
that I'll tell things to I wantto do this.
I have to do this and we holdourselves accountable.
In fact, what I'm about to dosoon here in Phoenix with some
of my closest girlfriends isquarterly.
We're going to have a quarterlytune up and we're coming to my
house.
We're going to have brunchbecause, you know, you got to
(21:23):
have a brunch.
You got to have a little mimosa.
Stephanie (21:25):
I love that.
Sasha Simmons (21:26):
We're going to set fitness personal and career
goals.
Thank you.
And, um, what do you want toaccomplish in Q4?
What are you afraid of that youwant to accomplish in Q4?
And dammit, you have toaccomplish it.
We're going to be checking in oneach other.
We're going to be askingquestions.
And if we have connects thatwill help you get to where it
is, we're gonna help you do thatas well.
But for me, having people thatyou know, you can count on doing
(21:47):
the research around how do I getthis done?
Because sometimes maybe you justdon't know how to make this
happen, right?
That's a real thing.
There's chat GPT out there thatwill give you some solutions.
There's Google, there's YouTubeUniversity, all of these things
out there that you can do theresearch.
You have to take the action,right?
So writing it on the board orwriting it around wherever you
want is step one.
(22:08):
But after that, you got to go123.
How do I take this action?
Where do I want to be in sixmonths?
Okay.
Well, if I want to be there insix months, then what steps do I
need to do to be there in fivemonths, four months and back
yourself up into what your planis and execute.
Execute like hell.
You have to execute like hell.
Tired.
It don't matter.
You, do you want this goal or doyou want to sleep?
(22:31):
So that's what it comes down to.
Stephanie (22:35):
Yeah.
Accountability and action iskey.
Sasha Simmons (22:39):
Yeah.
Stephanie (22:40):
For sure.
Sasha Simmons (22:42):
And you have to know like what you respond to as
a person, right?
Like, what is it that feed yoursoul?
Because we all get down, we alldon't feel like doing things at
time.
That's, that's a human response.
And I don't want to make it seemlike it's not.
So you have to figure out whatgives you energy.
For some people it's going outto get sunshine.
It's going for a walk.
It's going to work out.
It's listening to somethinginspirational or motivational.
(23:02):
It's talking to somebody.
It's something like that.
Figure out what your trigger isthat's going to help kickstart
you to take some action.
You have to figure out what thatis for you.
Stephanie (23:12):
And it doesn't necessarily have to be one
thing.
It can be multiple thingsdepending on what mood you're in
or what environment you'recurrently in or challenges
you're facing at that time.
Sasha Simmons (23:25):
Right.
You're right.
And it may change from time totime.
You're so right.
Stephanie (23:28):
Exactly.
Different seasons call fordifferent measures.
Sasha Simmons (23:33):
Correct.
Stephanie (23:36):
Strategy and intentionality.
Why is that so important to you?
Sasha Simmons (23:41):
It's, it's really important strategy and
intentionality is importantbecause kind of like what we're,
what we were just talking about,right?
I had a mentor who told me,Sasha, you're super talented,
but if you don't have strategyand if you don't have
intentional, if you're, excuseme, if you don't have intention
and you're not intentional aboutwhat it is that you want, you
will literally be a talentedperson just standing still or.
(24:04):
Or just on like the littlehamster wheel.
That's it.
You have to use strategy and youhave to be intentional.
And what I'm finding is that,especially, and I don't know who
your audience is, Stephanie, butespecially once you get to a
certain level in your, in yourlife, everybody's firing at a
high level.
Everybody's performing.
(24:24):
It ain't no, it ain't nobodyjust sitting there twiddling
their thumbs, doing nothing,right?
Like, you know, in high school,there's like the top 10 and you
really separated from the group.
In college, that group gets alittle smaller.
Once you get to these roomswhere you are performing high,
you have all high performers,all high achievers, the only
difference is strategy.
(24:45):
That's that's what determinedwho's going to outmaneuver who
who's going to work what and andwhat the solution is going to
be.
And so what you really have todo is make a decision as to what
it is that you want.
And figuring out what it is thatyou want can be challenging and
it can take time, because whatis your North Star?
Once you've clearly defined yourNorth Star, you have to take
time, you have to ask a lot ofquestions.
(25:06):
Why is this my North Star?
Does it And then, just to pauseon that, what is the North Star?
Can you define that?
So your North star is the thingthat you want more than
anything.
This is the thing I'm workingtoward.
This is the thing I want tohappen in my life.
For example, your North starcould be, I want to build a
world Renown luxury brand ofpurses, right?
(25:29):
Or, or whatever your, like yourNorth star is.
So everything that you do,everything that you build, all
the connections you make.
Need to be something that'sgoing when you're using strategy
need to be something that'sgoing to help get you to that
North Star some type of way.
What happens a lot of time isthat we're just living right?
It's like those littleinflatable things that you see
(25:50):
by the car lot.
Just like The wind going everydifferent direction.
Right.
It does what it's doing whatit's supposed to do.
Getting your attention andmaking you look right.
Yeah.
It's not being intentional andit's movement.
And so when my mentor said thatto me, I was like, yo, he's
absolutely.
Correct.
Because you're, you are a highachiever, right?
(26:12):
Steph, you have always been ahigh achiever.
You're at that level.
The people that are in the roomswith you are also at that level.
And if you don't have a solidstrategy and if you're not
intentional in what that lookslike, then you won't be able to
fire, you won't be able to go tothe next step.
So here, here's some stepspeople can do.
One, make a list of 100 peoplewho know, like, and respect you.
(26:36):
That you know also have accessto things right things can be
funding, things can beconnection, things can be just
resources and knowledge rightlike people that you also
respect, who can help navigateyou and put on this.
Our mind is on a Google sheetdoc, everything you know about
them, the email address, theiraffiliations, their political
(26:57):
parties, because it really don'tmatter what it is.
You can leverage whatever, butyou want to at least know, um,
all the things that, you know,may define that person so that
you can understand who they areand how you can leverage their,
their help and their support.
People want to help.
Yeah, people want to help.
We just have to have thestrategy and have the
(27:18):
vulnerability to actuallyintegrate it.
Ask and know where we want togo.
Stephanie (27:25):
And another thing that I would add about being
intentional is when you areintentional, you know when to
say no to things because you'refocused.
And there are so manydistractions out there, there's
events that are out there thatare great, but may not present
(27:51):
the right opportunities for youthat, you know, you know, it's
like you juggling multiplethings at once.
How do I eliminate these thingsso I can continue to stay
focused and move towards myNorth Star?
And sometimes it requires sayingno.
And so that's one thing that youhave to learn and be purposeful
(28:12):
about as well.
Sasha Simmons (28:13):
Correct.
You're right.
And that's what allowsalignment, right?
Does this align?
And you can never achieve thosethings if you aren't being
intentional.
Period.
Quite impossible in my opinion.
Yeah.
Stephanie (28:28):
And eliminating the FOMO, the fear of missing out.
Like you're not missing out.
You're not missing.
You're just focused.
Sasha Simmons (28:35):
You're not missing out bro.
At all.
Because there's going to beanother gala.
There's going to be anotherparty.
There's going to be anotherbrunch.
It's going to happen again.
Stephanie (28:46):
Exactly.
Sasha Simmons (28:47):
And hopefully you're in a different place or
everybody's coming to your galabecause now you're doing the,
you know what I mean?
You're on the receiving end ofit.
So you just really have to thinkabout what you want.
Prioritize that and go for it.
Stephanie (29:02):
And I love what you said about having that North
Star.
We talk a lot about that at mycurrent workplace, but I never
really thought about it in mypersonal pursuits, but yes, I do
have that North Star of buildingan iconic heritage brand with
Pamoja.
So, yeah.
Sasha Simmons (29:23):
I love that.
And you're doing all the rightthings to be strategic in
building that.
And so I applaud you for that,because a lot of times we don't
do that, whether it's out offear or just a lack of knowing.
It's easy to be distracted.
It is easier to, way easier tobe distracted than focused in
this world.
It's just hard.
(29:45):
And I get it.
Listen, nobody loves a turn upor a brunch more than me.
Period.
I'm down, right?
I want to be on a boat rightnow.
So, so yeah, that's what it is.
Stephanie (30:00):
I agree.
Sasha Simmons (30:01):
Yeah.
Stephanie (30:03):
Pivoting, what motto do you live by Sasha?
Sasha Simmons (30:08):
The motto is, well, I kind of have two and
maybe it's like, maybe I'm in aspace of morphing things, right?
Because this is what life isgrowing and learning.
So the first is, I never knowhow things are going to work out
until they work out and theyalways work out.
That is what I say to myselfwhen shit is hitting the fan,
(30:29):
because...
Stephanie (30:29):
Can you say that again?
Sasha Simmons (30:31):
I never know how things are going to work out
until they work out and theyalways work out.
I literally will say it in themirror I never know how things
are going to work out until theywork out and they always,
always, always work out becauseyou have to have something
that's going to ground yourselfwhen you're in the mix of it
all, and everybody's counting onyou.
(30:52):
And sometimes the bottom fallout of things, right?
Like that's, that is a realthing that we have to talk about
and a real expectation that weneed to set and how are you
going to dust yourself off andget back up and keep climbing
and keep grinding, right?
So, that's a real thing for me.
It really does help me to notlose myself when I'm working on
(31:14):
something or when I'm trying toaccomplish something.
The other motto is one that Ilearned actually from one of my
first employers, my internship,and that was that anyone can
achieve anything.
It's a matter of how bad theywant it.
And gosh, anyone with like afunctioning brain, right, can
(31:35):
accomplish.
Stephanie (31:35):
Yeah.
Sasha Simmons (31:37):
It's a matter of how bad they want it.
Cause if so you'll do the work,you'll, you'll make yourself
vulnerable.
You'll ask the questions.
You're going to get yourfeelings hurt.
You're going to be rejected andyou're going to go back again.
You know, all those things are apart of the process and a part
of growing.
Stephanie (31:51):
It is so true.
And it's just like, what selflimitations are you creating for
yourself that you need toovercome?
Sasha Simmons (32:02):
Yeah.
I had all of those things, man,and, and, you know, the thing is
that I want listeners tounderstand, and I have to tell
myself as well, is that it's notan, for me at least, it's never
an, I've arrived, right?
Like those, those thoughts stillcreep in.
You have to battle that shitdaily, like those, that self
(32:23):
doubt still try to, to rear itsugly head.
Stephanie (32:27):
Yes.
Sasha Simmons (32:27):
You know, am I worthy of this?
And are people going to believeme?
Am I smart?
And all these things, theyreally still show up.
And so we have to do daily workto, to like keep it down.
Keep it down.
And I talk to myself in themirror a lot.
I'm comfortable with it.
I encourage everybody to do it.
(32:49):
Talk to yourself.
Like when you finish listeningto this.
Go talk to yourself in themirror.
You can say, girl, you bad.
Girl, you fly.
Whatever you need that's goingto help get you through, say it
to yourself in the mirror.
Stephanie (33:01):
I woke up this morning and I was like, it's
going to be a great day.
And I got dressed up, my hairout.
I'm like, I look fabulous.
And it is a fabulous day.
You know.
All the time.
That's the goal.
It's not easy, but these arelike the affirmations that you
(33:26):
have to put out there foryourself.
And, you know, it's like, wetalked about fear earlier.
And behind fear is that deepdesire to become who we truly
want to be.
What is the hardest decisionthat you've made for yourself,
(33:47):
Sasha?
Sasha Simmons (33:49):
By far, by far, leaving my religion because it
was everything, right?
By far.
And it wasn't just a— Oh, Idon't want to do that anymore.
Like, I don't want to playflute.
Like I was, this was ingrainedin me.
Everything that I knew, theywere my family.
Because we didn't talk to ourfamily outside of the religion,
(34:11):
like not really.
You had to separate yourself.
So leaving was, I was faced withlosing everything I knew and
loved.
And I did for, for some time.
And I was very young navigatingthis world of not being able to
talk to parents, not being ableto talk to the people that I had
(34:34):
grown, grew up with in myreligion and the folks who were
like my aunts and my uncles andcousins, not being able to have
a relationship with them.
And also thinking that I wasgoing to go to hell at the same
time, like all of thesethoughts.
Every day, I thought I was goingto go to hell or, or I was going
to die in a fiery car crash.
Right.
And so for me, the fact that Ifaced that head on and told the
(34:56):
pastor, the, the head bishop ofthe church, like, I'm not afraid
to die and like, I'm not, I'mnot going to stay here.
There's nothing else.
Like, I literally looked deathor hell in its faith and it was
like, I'm good, so bringwhatever your life has to offer,
but that was the hardestdecision because I had to
(35:16):
unlearn everything and buildcompletely in total.
And I mean, I am just getting tothe point where I'm good and by
that I mean like in the last twoto three years.
So when I meet people, they'relike, oh my gosh, but you've
been living in Phoenix for likeeight years and I've known you
for so long.
And I'm like, yeah, but I wasstill battling it mentally in my
mind and my spirit.
(35:37):
Like there were so many things,you know, I thought I still
believe like.
For example, one of the thingsis that you can't marry somebody
outside of the church.
If you do, you automatically goto hell, period.
There's no forgiveness.
That's it.
And believe it or not, when Ithink back to my dating life,
like I'm 36 now, and I realizedthat that was, that was a huge
part of like me not dating well,or not being able to like find
(36:00):
my person because I believe...
Stephanie (36:02):
battling with that belief.
Sasha Simmons (36:04):
Correct.
So, um, so yeah, by far that wasthe hardest thing for me to do
in my life.
Stephanie (36:10):
And when did you make that decision?
Sasha Simmons (36:13):
What decision?
To leave?
Stephanie (36:15):
To leave, yeah.
Sasha Simmons (36:16):
It was a journey.
It wasn't like a light switch.
So it started, it started withquestions like, Why this?
And I don't understand that.
And um, then just being shamedby everybody in the church.
So it, it, the trend, it was atransition that took several
years for me to like, come outand be like, I don't want to do
this.
And that transition probably waslike four years.
(36:39):
Yeah.
And then it was just me battlingwith everything in my mind.
Like, Oh, am I really going todie?
You know, dealing with this?
Is this, is this why this ishappening to me?
Is God punishing me?
And, you know, and they wouldtell me, Oh, God's going to,
God's whipping you.
And this, these are this thing.
But now I go back to visitsometimes.
And they're like, they see thatmy life is this beautiful thing
(37:00):
by God's grace and also gooddecision making.
Let's, let's be very clear.
Life is a result of decisionsthat we make.
And suddenly the story haschanged.
Oh, God is blessing you so muchbecause we prayed for you.
Nah, nah, nah, nah.
That ain't what y'all wastelling me when I was in my
early twenties.
Like the story has completelychanged.
Y'all was telling me I was goingto have damnation, but y'all
(37:22):
see, you know, it's the oppositeof what damnation looks like.
And now it's,"Oh, we just loveyou so much.
And God has blessed you becausewe've been praying for you." So
it's just like, you know, okay.
Say whatever you want to say.
Stephanie (37:35):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Having the courage to make theright moves for you.
Sometimes that can be dauntingand really, really tough.
And so I'm really proud of youfor doing that for yourself.
Sasha Simmons (37:54):
Thank you so much.
It was, it was hard, you know,and it was a strain on my
relationship with my Mom.
Thank God.
It took a while to get there andshe had to understand that I
have to live my life for me.
And also I'm not out here doinglike, I don't know what type of
life they thought I was doing,but like I was hanging out with
you on Semester at Sea.
(38:14):
You know, like I wasn't, Ididn't, I wasn't out here living
a shabby life.
I was learning and experiencingculture and new things and
having...
Stephanie (38:22):
Growing and evolving into the amazing Sasha that you
are.
Sasha Simmons (38:28):
Yes.
Thank you, Stephanie.
So, yeah.
It's been a blessing and it'sbeen a journey and it's been a
beautiful, beautiful journey.
I am so grateful.
I mean, when I think about thepeople in my circle, I am like,
damn, like, everybody's amazing.
Like I have some great people inmy circle and I'm just, I
continue to be humbled by it andI continue to just meet more
(38:50):
amazing people.
And I love that.
I love hearing people's storiesand just rooting for them and
celebrating them and theirgreatness as well.
Stephanie (38:58):
And you know, we met when we were in our early
twenties.
Yeah.
This was probably the initialJourney of you discovering
yourself as an individual andreally doing Semester at Sea and
I didn't really know andunderstand those challenges that
(39:20):
you were facing internally anddealing with until years later
down the line.
So, I appreciate you coming onthis podcast and sharing that
part of you with us.
Sasha Simmons (39:35):
Thank you, Stephanie.
Thank you.
Stephanie (39:38):
For sure.
So I do want to read this, um,this post that I came across
recently because I did thinkabout you, um, and just wanted
to get your thoughts on itbecause I feel like it really
resonates to the conversationthat we've been having.
And this is from a guy namedGaren Jones, who recently had a
(40:04):
TED talk, and it's titled"How toUse Artist Power to Discover
Your Authentic Self." Agedoesn't determine our oldness.
I look and feel younger today atthe age of 44 than I did at 34.
It's how we live our lives thattruly matters.
(40:25):
The hot air balloon cannot leavethe ground unless you release
the weight.
Sasha Simmons (40:32):
Wow, that is,
Stephanie (40:34):
I still got more to read.
Sasha Simmons (40:36):
Oh, there's more?
Stephanie (40:36):
But that part right there.
Take a moment to reflect on ifyou are living a lie or as your
truest expression.
Think about your current way ofliving— your relationships, job,
health, and family— your innerintegrity.
Can you confidently say that youwon't have regrets when you look
(40:59):
back 50, 60, or 70 years fromnow?
In today's fast paced world ofcalculated distractions,
anxiety, depression, masking,overcompensating, and trying to
fit in are on the rise becausewe often forget one crucial
aspect— to actually experiencewhat it's like to truly live.
(41:23):
We forget to prioritize our wellbeing, to pursue careers that
bring fulfillment, to nurturerelationships that align with
our deepest desires, and tocreate a lifestyle that allows
us to experience joy andadventure even in our golden
years.
Today, I invite you to embracelife a little more, smile a
(41:45):
little wider, and savor theprecious moments that often go
unnoticed.
Start living with intention, butrather consciously make choices
aligned with the desires of yourheart and soul.
One decision at a time, creatinga life that is authentically
(42:07):
yours.
You'll discover that age is justa number for your soul remains
forever young.
Sasha Simmons (42:16):
That was more beautiful than anything I could
have ever said.
Wow.
And so much like that was somuch was said as you were
reading that.
It made me think about what I doto ground myself, which is
meditation.
Right before we hopped on, wetalked about that briefly.
And I think it's so powerful to,to be able to meditate, meditate
(42:41):
because it silence thedistractions, it silence the
noise.
And as he said, it's easy to bedistracted in this world.
There's a lot of, I think hesaid, calculated distractions.
There's a lot of that happening.
So what I would love to offer tofolks listening is, taking
advantage of something calledVipassana, V-I-P-A-S-S-A-N-A.
(43:03):
Vipassana is a 10 day meditationcamp, and that may seem a bit,
um, aggressive, but it is a 10day meditation camp.
It is no cost to you, yourinitial time doing it.
There are several locationsacross the United States and
across the world, really, whereyou can go and you can do that.
I did it for my 30th birthday,Stephanie.
Stephanie (43:24):
I think I remember you were telling me about this
when you did it.
Sasha Simmons (43:29):
All the things he said just now in that passage
that you read, were things thatI experienced and I felt going
through that.
Right.
Because it's really easy to lookexternally as other things that
are happening to you.
Right.
And yeah, the moving world.
But that that 10 day meditationcamp Vipassana where you're in
(43:50):
silence.
You're not, you do not speak for10 days.
You're in silence.
Stephanie (43:55):
And for you.
Yeah, I remember you told me Iwas like, Sasha doing that?
I don't know.
Sasha Simmons (44:03):
I needed it because sometimes you just need
to sit down and be quiet.
Yeah.
And listen, listen to your soul.
What is your soul saying?
Right?
What is your soul?
And you'll learn so much aboutyourself.
You'll learn how to forgive.
You'll uncover things that maybeyou were holding on to, things
that were causing you pain thatyou hadn't even necessarily
realized it because you'vesuppressed it.
(44:25):
You know, you've been dealingwith anxiety or depression, all
these things he's talked to.
So for me, All that to saymeditation is my tool and
anytime I talk to someone we goon this conversation and I the
the space and opportunity comefor me to share Vipassana with
them, I always share it and i'mlike if you have time if you
have 10 days take the time andsit with yourself and learn
(44:48):
yourself because it isabsolutely Life changing.
There's no one in this world.
You should know better thanyourself.
And so that was beautiful.
Stephanie (44:58):
Yeah, absolutely.
I'm going to look that up.
Sasha Simmons (45:02):
Yeah, there.
Yeah.
I don't know where the closestone is to you, but yeah, I went
to the one that was like rightoutside of California.
And I think it was in Caliactually, and it was for I was a
four hour drive from Phoenix.
I gave them my cell phone, gavethem my keys.
Let my, my mom knew what wasgoing on.
They wouldn't hear from me forthe next 10 days, but I'm not
missing.
And it was, it was beautiful.
(45:23):
I literally looked it up lastweek because I want to do
another 10 day, but I want toserve this time.
Like I want to be able to likehelp prepare the food and give
to people.
Stephanie (45:35):
Yeah.
That sounds like an amazingexperience
Sasha Simmons (45:38):
It was very, very refreshing.
So, so yeah, thank you forreading that and sharing.
Stephanie (45:48):
Yeah, no, I, I read it.
I was like, I feel like I shouldshare this with Sasha because I
just felt like our conversationwas going to go somewhere around
that.
And, you know, it's also justgreat to share that with the
audience as well.
(46:09):
Anyways, we are.
entrepreneurial at heart,period.
And I know that you haverecently done some additional
things.
Like working on your AF series,and I wanted to make sure that
we touch on that because I dolove the work that you're
(46:33):
putting out with that, so tellus more.
Sasha Simmons (46:36):
Thank you so much.
So I have been wanting tocreate, create word art and
quote, or I call it quote artfor a while.
And I don't know if, if this isa thing or if I made it up, but
quote art.
When you go into home goods orat home and you see like
beautiful quotes on art that youcan hang up in your home.
(46:56):
And so I, there are things that,there are quotes that I say in
my life and things that I useall the time.
And the AF series or as fuckseries is what it stands for,
uh, is what I've recentlyreleased.
You can go to my website,SashaSimmons.Com and go to shop
and you'll find it there.
But there are beautiful quoteart that's, you know, Dope As
(47:17):
Fuck.
Resilient As Fuck, Soft AF.
It has AF on the, on the actualthing.
Gifted AF, all these things, andwhatever it is that describes
you and who, and you know,really resonates with who you
are, display that in your homeand let the world know that you
are dope AF, period, full stop.
(47:38):
And that's that.
So that's, that's where we areright now.
And I, I really love it.
And it is underneath theumbrella of a Fuck Yo' Box,
which is my brand.
And it's the story that I tellof, of leaving, honestly, the
religion and finding my wingsand learning how to fly because
I was absolutely living in abox, and now I don't allow
(47:59):
people to put me in any box.
Fuck Yo' Box, all of them.
I'm not, I'm not doing that atall.
I'm not playing.
And I think that we have to bemore intentional about not being
inside of the box because it'sso limited in so many ways.
Stephanie (48:13):
Absolutely.
And I will certainly be sharingthese links in the notes.
So definitely tap in and checkit out for sure.
And I definitely need to aswell, because I need to add to
my home as I'm growing the artin this lovely space.
Sasha Simmons (48:34):
Yes.
And tap into to your network.
Again, with my homegirl, I wastrying to find somebody to to
design this for me and I wastalking to my homegirls I could
design it and I was like, that'sright.
I know people who do this soagain we're talking about list
of 100 people you know somebodyin your immediate circle, who
can help you get where you wantto be, period.
(48:56):
We just have to ask we have tohave these conversations.
Stephanie (48:59):
Like you, you don't have to go about it alone.
And I'm just thinking aboutthings that I want to do as I'm
building out the brand and I'mlooking into expanding into
wholesale and building outcollateral to support that.
There are people in my networkthat I can certainly tap into to
help me do this.
(49:20):
I don't need to seek externalpartners for that.
And like, investing in otherpeople when I can invest in
people that I know who areworking on building or even
trying to learn a skill set orbuild out a skill set to create
their own services for others.
(49:42):
So most definitely.
I agree with you on that.
And as we, you know, wrap upthis conversation, I like to end
it in hindsight, just talkingabout the younger version of
yourself.
What do you wish the youngerversion of yourself knew?
Sasha Simmons (50:06):
You mean Young Sash?
Stephanie (50:07):
Yes, Young Sash.
Sasha Simmons (50:11):
Oh, I wish that Young Sasha knew how truly— knew
and also believed how giftedshe, she was.
Because I had to convince myselffor some time that I was
(50:31):
talented and that I was giftedand I had to hear other people
say it.
And I wish that.
I just, I wish I just alwaysknew it.
I just wish that I always wasable to move through the world
with that level of confidence.
And it's funny because when Isay that to people, people
always kind of taken aback,like, really, you didn't believe
that always?
And I'm like, no, like,absolutely not.
(50:52):
But I wish that I always knewand believe that.
That you are brilliant and youhave a message, an important
message to share with the world.
And you need to share it becauseit's, it's.
It's almost like your art,right?
You're creating something that'spersonal to you.
And so you are sensitive aboutit.
And so maybe sharing yourgreatness with the world can be,
(51:13):
can be a bit intimidatingbecause the world's not always a
kind place, but it can beintimidating, but I just wish
that young Sasha knew how, howbrilliant and how talented she
truly was.
Stephanie (51:24):
Yes.
And I'm glad that that versionof Sasha is really shining right
now.
Sasha Simmons (51:31):
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Stephanie (51:33):
And so what's next for my great friend, Sasha?
Sasha Simmons (51:38):
I had an amazing meeting with an amazing person
yesterday that I can't talkabout yet.
Okay.
That is on the horizon, but weneed to like finalize some
things first.
Stephanie (51:50):
I love it.
Sasha Simmons (51:52):
Guess what?
She was on my list of a hundredpeople.
She was literally on my listand, and I've just restarted the
list.
She was number three.
So what I'm telling you is thatyou don't have to wait till you
get down in the 70s to startmaking these change and for
things to start happening.
Like literally the person on mylist and it's already, um, it's
(52:13):
already wheels are rolling andwe're going to have a, you know,
a pretty important meeting herecoming up in the next few weeks
to really solidify things.
And, um, I'm just so grateful.
I'm so grateful and excited.
Stephanie (52:27):
That's really, really exciting.
And I'm looking forward tohearing more about this.
Sasha Simmons (52:34):
Yes.
I can't wait to share once, oncethe ink's dry, then I can share.
Stephanie (52:38):
Yes.
Amazing.
Well, thank you so much, Sasha,for coming on and chatting it up
with me and sharing all of yourgreat gems with us.
Sasha Simmons (52:52):
Thank you for having me, Stephanie.
It's always a pleasure.
You know, you are my girl, soI'm always here and available to
support you and to champion you,celebrate you any way I can.
Stephanie (53:03):
Thank you.
And that's a wrap.
So own it and make moves.
One day, I want to share yourjourney on this podcast.
I am Stephanie Evans and this is Diaries of a Modern
Trailblazer.
Take note of the journey and beinspired to forge your own
amazing path.
it's always so great to talk toyou.
And I'm just honestly honored tohave you speak.
(00:22):
Um, so just to get started, justtell us more about who Miss
Sasha Simmons is.
Sasha Simmons (00:28):
Yes.
First of all, Stephanie, thankyou so much for creating this
platform and being the dynamictrailblazer that you are.
I have admired you for so longsince we initially met and just
really happy to be on thispodcast with you.
Sasha, who am I?
All right.
I am a professional speaker.
(00:49):
I am an empowerment activist.
I really, truly, really believein helping individuals navigate
the life that they are able toexperience on this earth and
live it to its absolute fullnessright to experience the fullness
of life.
So many times there are so manythings really inhibiting us from
(01:10):
being able to live fully andlive freely things that we've
learned things that we believethe self talk that's going on in
our head and so I know what thatfeels like because I live that
way for so long.
And being able to step outsideof that and recognizing your
power and realizing who you areis what I'm truly passionate
about.
So tied up in that ismotivational speaking.
(01:31):
It's professional developmentseries to, you know, help
leaders and train them as well,giving them tools that's going
to allow them to tap into theirtoolbox and pull it out whenever
necessary.
So that's what I do day to dayprofessionally.
That's what I, that's what Ilove.
That's what I live by.
Stephanie (01:51):
Amazing.
So just give us the backdrop ofhow you got there.
Sasha Simmons (01:56):
Yeah.
All right.
So, once upon a time, I wasraised in a cult.
Think a cult like religion, uh,very strict.
Particularly to women.
And the thing about it is likethe name of it is so this cult
(02:18):
right is a religious cult, andit's based in Christianity and
it's like apostolicChristianity.
And when I say that I want toqualify that statement, because
there are some people who mayhave familiarity with it, but
what we have to understand isthat, apostolic religions,
they're on a spectrum, sothere's a more loose end of the
spectrum, and then there's areally strict end of the
(02:40):
spectrum.
And the version that I grew upin is incredibly strict to
women, like, I mean, oppressive,you could not speak, you had to,
like, speak when spoken to.
I had to be covered from head totoe.
Growing up, you couldn't playsports.
You couldn't go to prom.
You can't wear jewelry.
You can't wear the colors pinkor red or yellow.
You can't have on open toeshoes.
(03:00):
You can't have on backlessshoes.
You can't have your neck toolow.
Your dress has to be right aboveyour ankle.
Like you can only wear blue orblack shoes.
Like there are just a lot ofrules around it that was
incredibly controlling.
But beyond it controlling thedress, right?
The thing that was really, Ithink most damaging is the mind
(03:24):
control that it had over me andthat it had over all its
members.
You think that you are stuck andthis is all that you can do and
you are absolutely living infear because these are the
things that you were taught.
Like Stephanie, I literallyremember thinking that I would
go blind for watching TV becauseI was raised and taught from as
(03:45):
far back as I can remember— ifyou watch tv, if you watch a
movie, Sasha, God will take youreyesight and go and you will go
blind and you may die.
Stephanie (03:53):
Oh my gosh.
Sasha Simmons (03:54):
Like, it, it it's extreme
Stephanie (03:56):
Yeah.
Sasha Simmons (03:56):
And this was, this was my norm.
This was what I thought and knewto be true.
And, um, it's, it's how I livedand, and existed for so long.
And then I got an opportunityto.
Go to college, which is reallyinteresting because my
generation, our generation wasthe first in the religion that
was allowed to go to college.
(04:17):
Before us, they weren't allowedto go to college.
And so...
Stephanie (04:19):
Let me just take a step back.
How was your education?
Like your primary education?
Was it within that cult?
Sasha Simmons (04:27):
Yeah, that's a good question.
There, my primary education wasactually not within the cult.
We did not have a school.
So we were, I was in publicschool, but there were things
like, so, you know, in America,we have, um, freedom of
religion, right?
You have that level ofprotection.
So one of the things we weren'tallowed to do was get any
vaccinations.
(04:48):
And so going to school, I didn'thave any vaccinations.
But growing up, you're able toget something called a religious
waiver that allows you to stillgo to school with the rest of
the students.
So I was in school with the restof the students, and that was
really hard because, here's thisgirl.
Everybody looked at me like,like, who's this girl?
She looks crazy.
She's dressing funny.
(05:09):
Yeah.
And I just, I didn't fit in withanybody at my school.
I had a couple of friends hereand there, but.
Because we were, you know,assimilating in some ways, and
then not assimilating in otherways, it just made it really
difficult for me to figure outwho I was my place in the world.
But the other thing, Stephanieis that it gave me also a level
(05:30):
of power that I would not knowuntil later on, as I as I
continue to grow as a youngperson.
Stephanie (05:38):
That's really interesting.
So let's, let's step into thecollege experience for you.
Sasha Simmons (05:44):
Yes, so then fast forward from, you know, primary
education going into secondaryeducation.
I knew I wanted to go tocollege.
Really wanted to figure out howto make this happen.
I did not have funding, but Iknew that somebody had to pay
for college somehow, so Istarted applying for
scholarships my junior year andin high school.
(06:05):
And I applied for as many as Icould.
I wrote so many essays.
I will say one of the things wewere allowed to do in the
religion was read.
Right— read books.
And I read the entireencyclopedia set from A to Z, my
brother and I.
Everything, literally from thegeographical elements of the
Appalachian Mountains to theproperties of zinc, like
literally, we learned about allof it.
Stephanie (06:26):
Yeah, I mean, if you can watch TV.
Sasha Simmons (06:29):
Because we could— yeah, yeah.
So that was what we did instead.
And, as a result of that, I hada lot of knowledge and could
carry on conversations that,your average 17 year old in the
early 2000s probably couldn'tcarry didn't have.
And so I utilized a lot of thethings that I learned through
reading and apply that to myessays that I was writing and in
(06:49):
using to go to college.
And I was, I was awarded over amillion dollars in scholarships.
I'm not sure if you know that ornot.
Like I got a shit ton ofscholarships.
Stephanie (07:00):
Oh wow.
Sasha Simmons (07:01):
I was balling in scholarships! It was great.
And I convinced the, the pastorof my church to let me go to New
York because we had a churchlocation in New York.
And I wanted to go to NYU, so Iconvinced him that if they let
me go, I would go to church,like every, every single service
and, you know, be this good girlin the city.
(07:21):
And they said yes.
So I went to New York and girl,I lost my damn mind.
Stephanie (07:30):
Yeah.
Sasha Simmons (07:31):
Oh.
Stephanie (07:32):
And tell us where you are coming from.
Sasha Simmons (07:34):
Jacksonville, Florida.
I was coming from Jacksonville,Florida.
So it was a long way from home.
Yeah.
Long way from home.
Stephanie (07:42):
And a totally different world.
Sasha Simmons (07:44):
Oh, completely different.
And you know, here's the thingwhen I got to New York.
People were telling me so manythings about New York, like,
right.
New York is New York.
If you had an opportunity to goto New York, you know what it's
like.
Like, you have to be fast.
You have to be on it.
It's it's in your face.
It's, you know— it's, it's a lotto deal with.
And I won't lie.
Initially when I got up there, Ifelt myself kind of like taking,
(08:08):
getting scared.
Like, Oh my gosh!
Stephanie (08:09):
Yeah, it's intimidating.
Sasha Simmons (08:10):
And also Stephanie, I was missing so many
tools because I was literallycoming from this world where, I
just didn't have a lot of thetools that my counterparts had.
I would learn that later, but Ijust didn't have it.
And so— it was a bitintimidating for me.
And anytime I feel intimidatedby something, my philosophy is
(08:31):
to double down, to double downinto it.
And girl, you better figure thatshit out some way, somehow.
So, um, I, everything while Iwas at NYU that scared me, that
gave me pause, that made me go.
If it made, if it gave me thatfeeling, then I forced myself to
do it until I got that out of mysystem.
So I would go up, talk to all,everybody, any person that I
(08:52):
could meet, the president,whoever I felt intimidated by, I
would force myself to do it sothat I could get like out of
being so, so, so, so terrified.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it's, you know, it taughtme, it taught me so much and
there's a long journey of likethe first time I felt the wind
on my legs.
I was walking in New York and Ihad on a jean skirt that was
(09:13):
like below my knee and I hadnever felt that feeling before I
was like...
Stephanie (09:18):
Right, because your dresses were like above the
ankle.
Sasha Simmons (09:24):
Yeah, above the ankle and I had on stockings
underneath like these thickcotton stockings is what they're
called.
These brown stockings thatsharecroppers wear actually— is
what we wore.
And so I had never felt that.
And so for me I had like thesemilestone moments like I was I
remember I was in a calculusclass.
And I had started to experimentwith pants at this point because
(09:46):
you couldn't wear pants at all.
And I remember sitting in mychair with my legs crossed in
class.
And I felt so fucking liberated.
Like, I felt like I can takeover the world.
I am sitting here with my legscrossed.
I've never been able to sit withmy legs crossed like this in
school because I always had on astraight skirt.
Learning calculus right at NYUat 19 years old, like the world
(10:11):
is my oyster and I'm going tomake something amazing and
fantastic out of my life.
Like that's what I wasdistinctively remember feeling
like that in that calculusclass.
Now calculus is not my jam so Istruggled.
I struggled in that class butyou know that moment of
liberation that I felt issomething I'll never forget.
Stephanie (10:31):
That's beautiful.
You know, you mentioned theworld being your oyster.
And you know— we kind of hadthat experience.
And that was how we met.
We did Semester at Sea while wewere both, um, continuing our
undergraduate studies.
So tell us a bit about thatexperience for you.
Sasha Simmons (10:55):
Wow.
So, let me, let me take you backto childhood and then bring it
forward.
As a child, reading theencyclopedias, I would like,
look at the Taj Mahal and lookat the Great Wall of China and
close my eyes and imagine myselfstanding in front of the Taj
Mahal and climbing up the GreatWall of China.
(11:16):
And then I would think, okay,this is probably— I don't know
if this is going to happen.
Like I'm this little girl in thehood that's all around the other
side of the world.
It may never happen.
And then I learned aboutSemester at Sea.
I think maybe my sophomore orjunior year.
I think my sophomore year.
And I remember distinctivelybeing so excited, but also
(11:39):
wanting somebody to go with me.
And I was trying to convince myfriend to go with me on this
journey.
And I remember talking to mymentor at the time, my very
first mentor.
And I was like, you know, Ireally want to go, but I don't
want to go by myself.
I'm trying to get my friend togo with me, but she's scared.
And my mentor told me somethingthat has lived with me and stuck
(12:01):
with me for years.
And that is— you can't be afraidto do it alone.
The people who are meant to bein your life, you will meet on
the journey.
Stephanie (12:10):
Yeah.
Sasha Simmons (12:11):
I literally just got chills saying that to you.
Can we just pause for that?
You can't be afraid to do italone.
The people that you will, Idon't even remember what I just
said, but you will meet likeyour people on the journey.
Like you, you have to go becauseyou'll meet your people.
And, um, he's so right, Steph.
Because we met so many dynamicand amazing people.
(12:32):
I mean, that was years ago andyou and I are still friends.
That was 2000, 2008.
We left, we left America beforeObama became president.
Stephanie (12:42):
Right.
That was amazing.
And to be in Africa when thatwas happening too.
Sasha Simmons (12:52):
It was, it was so beautiful and just something
that I remember, and I tellpeople all the time, I mean, we
circumnavigated a globe, right?
We lived the same day twice.
November, I think it wasNovember, November 27.
We had to November 27.
Um,
Stephanie (13:10):
I don't remember what day that was.
Okay.
Sasha Simmons (13:12):
I don't remember the day.
It was November.
Stephanie (13:13):
November 27 was my birthday in Hawaii, eating KFC
on the beach.
Okay.
My 21st birthday.
Sasha Simmons (13:23):
That was your 21st birthday?
Stephanie (13:24):
Yeah.
Sasha Simmons (13:25):
Wow.
Okay.
All right.
Well, then it must have beenafter that, right?
When we passed Before that whenwe passed the international
Dateline.
I can't remember.
Stephanie (13:33):
I don't remember when we did that, but, we definitely
did.
Sasha Simmons (13:37):
We, we definitely did it.
I was like, it is the same dayagain, Um, so like, just, I
learned so much on that, thatjourney and I did it scared.
And that's the thing, right?
One of the things about buildingthe life you want for yourself
is that you have to do itscared.
Nobody have all of the answersto anything today.
(13:59):
That's not how it works, right?
This was a lesson I had tolearn.
I was terrified in undergrad offailing.
Literally, I was like, I neverwant to fail.
Like what happens?
And then I recognized thatfailure and success, it's like
peanut butter and jelly.
Like it just goes together.
You can't, you're not going tohave one without the other.
And so you have to becomfortable in that fail fast,
(14:19):
learn from your lessons, youknow, course correct.
And then, you know, hopefullyhave a better outcome the next
time.
But I learned so much on thatjourney and I learned the power
of humanity and what it lookslike right across the world, all
these different peoplepracticing different religions,
all these different cultures,still being able to love and to
(14:41):
give and like, there was just sohumility that so much humility
that I took from that journeyand ultimately I recognize that
everybody in the world wantthree things.
They want to feel safe, valued,and respected.
I don't care who you are, whereyou're from.
Everybody wants to feel thosethings.
Stephanie (14:55):
Yep.
Absolutely.
What would you say waspersonally your biggest learning
in that experience?
Sasha Simmons (15:04):
I think I truly learned the gift of what it
meant to be born in America,honestly.
And I know that our country havea lot of problems and a lot of
challenges.
God knows.
I know that there's so much workand so much improvement that we
(15:25):
can make, but truly being beingborn an American citizen gives
you access in a way that a lotof people around the world
simply do not have.
Just that level— that alone.
And I learned that at 20 yearsold, right?
Stephanie (15:43):
Mm-hmm.
Sasha Simmons (15:44):
When we were, when we were able to take this
journey of discovery and, and itwas an opportunity for me to
really value that.
Really value what it means tohave clean water, right?
What it really, really means tohave clean food.
To be safe, and uh, and it'sjust, For me, it put things in
perspective because it's easy totake things for granted.
(16:06):
And to this day, anytime I startfeeling like, Oh, what was me?
Life is lifing.
I'll pull out my old pink DVDplayer.
Cause yes, I have a pink DVDplayer from college.
I will play and watch mySemester at Sea video.
And it reminds me of, of life.
(16:27):
It reminds me to be grateful ofall the gifts and all the
beautiful things that we have.
So I think for me, my biggestlearning was, man, to just be,
to be born in this, in America,to have that is really a gift
and it's something that weshould absolutely leverage and
just be appreciative of.
Stephanie (16:46):
I absolutely agree with you on that.
We do take a lot of things forgranted here.
A lot of things that we haveaccess to that so many people
around the world do not.
You know, like just being ableto turn on the faucet and having
clean water and not having towalk miles to get a gallon that
(17:07):
you have to carry back home.
Sasha Simmons (17:10):
And use for the week.
Stephanie (17:11):
Yes.
Um, and that, like having thatexperience really made me
realize that I am a worldcitizen, and I need to do my
part to make this world a betterplace, which is one of the
reasons why I work with theorganization, the Kujuwa
(17:31):
Initiative, which supplies girlswith reusable upcycled sanitary
napkins for them to continuetheir education undisrupted
because it's, it's notaccessible for them, when that
time of the month comes, youknow, and that's just so it's
(17:59):
just second nature here in thiscountry to have access to those
types of things.
Um, so yeah, that's,
Sasha Simmons (18:07):
That's a beautiful cause and a worthy
mission.
Yeah.
It's humbling.
It's humbling when you learn theway that that people have to
live in the world.
Right.
So kudos to you for, for beingwilling to put that level of
work in so that girls, you know,across the world have access to
something so important.
Stephanie (18:26):
I appreciate it.
You talk about living lifewithout limits, and it was
really interesting to hear aboutyour upbringing and what it is
you're doing now.
What does it mean to live lifewithout limits?
Sasha Simmons (18:50):
Stephanie with the big questions.
For me, living without limits isdoing all the things that scare
you.
All the things that make yousecond guess— am I taking the
right thing?
Maybe I shouldn't do thisbecause fear is crippling,
right?
Like you can be so afraid ofsomething that you just freeze.
(19:11):
And the next thing you know, 30years have rolled by and you
still have that, that geniusidea rolling in the back of your
head.
Or you watch somebody else liveout your dream because the dream
had to be fulfilled and it wentto someone else.
For me, living life withoutlimits truly is— Oh man, I want
to learn how to fly an airplane,but I'm terrified to be a pilot.
(19:33):
Let me sign up in 2023 to learnhow to fly an airplane.
Stephanie (19:39):
Are you doing that?
Sasha Simmons (19:40):
No.
Stephanie (19:43):
I wouldn't be surprised.
Sasha Simmons (19:44):
It's, it's a no, not yet, but maybe.
Maybe I don't, I don't have adeep desire for it yet, but, um,
but it may, it may come in thefuture.
We'll, we'll see.
Stephanie (19:57):
Gotcha.
Sasha Simmons (19:58):
But it is just doing, doing your biggest fear,
like what happened if it workedout?
What happened if you are themogul of this great company and
you were so afraid to start itand you want it to stay in this
bubble or this box that societyhave put you in?
Or worse a box that you've putyourself in right as a response
to societal norms and thingsyou've been told.
(20:19):
So you know if whatever yourfear is write it on the write it
on the board write it on yourboard somewhere As long as it's
safe, I'm not saying go out hereand be reckless, put that
qualifying statement in becauseI don't want nobody blaming me
later on.
As long as it's safe, write iton the board and figure out what
the steps are to get it done andgo do it.
Stephanie (20:44):
So I get that part.
And it's, it's a lot easier saidthan done.
I mean, it's easy to write itdown.
But how do we actually push thatboundary and take that leap of
faith?
Sasha Simmons (21:01):
Yeah, so for me, I have accountability partners
that I'll tell things to I wantto do this.
I have to do this and we holdourselves accountable.
In fact, what I'm about to dosoon here in Phoenix with some
of my closest girlfriends isquarterly.
We're going to have a quarterlytune up and we're coming to my
house.
We're going to have brunchbecause, you know, you got to
(21:23):
have a brunch.
You got to have a little mimosa.
Stephanie (21:25):
I love that.
Sasha Simmons (21:26):
We're going to set fitness personal and career
goals.
Thank you.
And, um, what do you want toaccomplish in Q4?
What are you afraid of that youwant to accomplish in Q4?
And dammit, you have toaccomplish it.
We're going to be checking in oneach other.
We're going to be askingquestions.
And if we have connects thatwill help you get to where it
is, we're gonna help you do thatas well.
But for me, having people thatyou know, you can count on doing
(21:47):
the research around how do I getthis done?
Because sometimes maybe you justdon't know how to make this
happen, right?
That's a real thing.
There's chat GPT out there thatwill give you some solutions.
There's Google, there's YouTubeUniversity, all of these things
out there that you can do theresearch.
You have to take the action,right?
So writing it on the board orwriting it around wherever you
want is step one.
(22:08):
But after that, you got to go123.
How do I take this action?
Where do I want to be in sixmonths?
Okay.
Well, if I want to be there insix months, then what steps do I
need to do to be there in fivemonths, four months and back
yourself up into what your planis and execute.
Execute like hell.
You have to execute like hell.
Tired.
It don't matter.
You, do you want this goal or doyou want to sleep?
(22:31):
So that's what it comes down to.
Stephanie (22:35):
Yeah.
Accountability and action iskey.
Sasha Simmons (22:39):
Yeah.
Stephanie (22:40):
For sure.
Sasha Simmons (22:42):
And you have to know like what you respond to as
a person, right?
Like, what is it that feed yoursoul?
Because we all get down, we alldon't feel like doing things at
time.
That's, that's a human response.
And I don't want to make it seemlike it's not.
So you have to figure out whatgives you energy.
For some people it's going outto get sunshine.
It's going for a walk.
It's going to work out.
It's listening to somethinginspirational or motivational.
(23:02):
It's talking to somebody.
It's something like that.
Figure out what your trigger isthat's going to help kickstart
you to take some action.
You have to figure out what thatis for you.
Stephanie (23:12):
And it doesn't necessarily have to be one
thing.
It can be multiple thingsdepending on what mood you're in
or what environment you'recurrently in or challenges
you're facing at that time.
Sasha Simmons (23:25):
Right.
You're right.
And it may change from time totime.
You're so right.
Stephanie (23:28):
Exactly.
Different seasons call fordifferent measures.
Sasha Simmons (23:33):
Correct.
Stephanie (23:36):
Strategy and intentionality.
Why is that so important to you?
Sasha Simmons (23:41):
It's, it's really important strategy and
intentionality is importantbecause kind of like what we're,
what we were just talking about,right?
I had a mentor who told me,Sasha, you're super talented,
but if you don't have strategyand if you don't have
intentional, if you're, excuseme, if you don't have intention
and you're not intentional aboutwhat it is that you want, you
will literally be a talentedperson just standing still or.
(24:04):
Or just on like the littlehamster wheel.
That's it.
You have to use strategy and youhave to be intentional.
And what I'm finding is that,especially, and I don't know who
your audience is, Stephanie, butespecially once you get to a
certain level in your, in yourlife, everybody's firing at a
high level.
Everybody's performing.
(24:24):
It ain't no, it ain't nobodyjust sitting there twiddling
their thumbs, doing nothing,right?
Like, you know, in high school,there's like the top 10 and you
really separated from the group.
In college, that group gets alittle smaller.
Once you get to these roomswhere you are performing high,
you have all high performers,all high achievers, the only
difference is strategy.
(24:45):
That's that's what determinedwho's going to outmaneuver who
who's going to work what and andwhat the solution is going to
be.
And so what you really have todo is make a decision as to what
it is that you want.
And figuring out what it is thatyou want can be challenging and
it can take time, because whatis your North Star?
Once you've clearly defined yourNorth Star, you have to take
time, you have to ask a lot ofquestions.
(25:06):
Why is this my North Star?
Does it And then, just to pauseon that, what is the North Star?
Can you define that?
So your North star is the thingthat you want more than
anything.
This is the thing I'm workingtoward.
This is the thing I want tohappen in my life.
For example, your North starcould be, I want to build a
world Renown luxury brand ofpurses, right?
(25:29):
Or, or whatever your, like yourNorth star is.
So everything that you do,everything that you build, all
the connections you make.
Need to be something that'sgoing when you're using strategy
need to be something that'sgoing to help get you to that
North Star some type of way.
What happens a lot of time isthat we're just living right?
It's like those littleinflatable things that you see
(25:50):
by the car lot.
Just like The wind going everydifferent direction.
Right.
It does what it's doing whatit's supposed to do.
Getting your attention andmaking you look right.
Yeah.
It's not being intentional andit's movement.
And so when my mentor said thatto me, I was like, yo, he's
absolutely.
Correct.
Because you're, you are a highachiever, right?
(26:12):
Steph, you have always been ahigh achiever.
You're at that level.
The people that are in the roomswith you are also at that level.
And if you don't have a solidstrategy and if you're not
intentional in what that lookslike, then you won't be able to
fire, you won't be able to go tothe next step.
So here, here's some stepspeople can do.
One, make a list of 100 peoplewho know, like, and respect you.
(26:36):
That you know also have accessto things right things can be
funding, things can beconnection, things can be just
resources and knowledge rightlike people that you also
respect, who can help navigateyou and put on this.
Our mind is on a Google sheetdoc, everything you know about
them, the email address, theiraffiliations, their political
(26:57):
parties, because it really don'tmatter what it is.
You can leverage whatever, butyou want to at least know, um,
all the things that, you know,may define that person so that
you can understand who they areand how you can leverage their,
their help and their support.
People want to help.
Yeah, people want to help.
We just have to have thestrategy and have the
(27:18):
vulnerability to actuallyintegrate it.
Ask and know where we want togo.
Stephanie (27:25):
And another thing that I would add about being
intentional is when you areintentional, you know when to
say no to things because you'refocused.
And there are so manydistractions out there, there's
events that are out there thatare great, but may not present
(27:51):
the right opportunities for youthat, you know, you know, it's
like you juggling multiplethings at once.
How do I eliminate these thingsso I can continue to stay
focused and move towards myNorth Star?
And sometimes it requires sayingno.
And so that's one thing that youhave to learn and be purposeful
(28:12):
about as well.
Sasha Simmons (28:13):
Correct.
You're right.
And that's what allowsalignment, right?
Does this align?
And you can never achieve thosethings if you aren't being
intentional.
Period.
Quite impossible in my opinion.
Yeah.
Stephanie (28:28):
And eliminating the FOMO, the fear of missing out.
Like you're not missing out.
You're not missing.
You're just focused.
Sasha Simmons (28:35):
You're not missing out bro.
At all.
Because there's going to beanother gala.
There's going to be anotherparty.
There's going to be anotherbrunch.
It's going to happen again.
Stephanie (28:46):
Exactly.
Sasha Simmons (28:47):
And hopefully you're in a different place or
everybody's coming to your galabecause now you're doing the,
you know what I mean?
You're on the receiving end ofit.
So you just really have to thinkabout what you want.
Prioritize that and go for it.
Stephanie (29:02):
And I love what you said about having that North
Star.
We talk a lot about that at mycurrent workplace, but I never
really thought about it in mypersonal pursuits, but yes, I do
have that North Star of buildingan iconic heritage brand with
Pamoja.
So, yeah.
Sasha Simmons (29:23):
I love that.
And you're doing all the rightthings to be strategic in
building that.
And so I applaud you for that,because a lot of times we don't
do that, whether it's out offear or just a lack of knowing.
It's easy to be distracted.
It is easier to, way easier tobe distracted than focused in
this world.
It's just hard.
(29:45):
And I get it.
Listen, nobody loves a turn upor a brunch more than me.
Period.
I'm down, right?
I want to be on a boat rightnow.
So, so yeah, that's what it is.
Stephanie (30:00):
I agree.
Sasha Simmons (30:01):
Yeah.
Stephanie (30:03):
Pivoting, what motto do you live by Sasha?
Sasha Simmons (30:08):
The motto is, well, I kind of have two and
maybe it's like, maybe I'm in aspace of morphing things, right?
Because this is what life isgrowing and learning.
So the first is, I never knowhow things are going to work out
until they work out and theyalways work out.
That is what I say to myselfwhen shit is hitting the fan,
(30:29):
because...
Stephanie (30:29):
Can you say that again?
Sasha Simmons (30:31):
I never know how things are going to work out
until they work out and theyalways work out.
I literally will say it in themirror I never know how things
are going to work out until theywork out and they always,
always, always work out becauseyou have to have something
that's going to ground yourselfwhen you're in the mix of it
all, and everybody's counting onyou.
(30:52):
And sometimes the bottom fallout of things, right?
Like that's, that is a realthing that we have to talk about
and a real expectation that weneed to set and how are you
going to dust yourself off andget back up and keep climbing
and keep grinding, right?
So, that's a real thing for me.
It really does help me to notlose myself when I'm working on
(31:14):
something or when I'm trying toaccomplish something.
The other motto is one that Ilearned actually from one of my
first employers, my internship,and that was that anyone can
achieve anything.
It's a matter of how bad theywant it.
And gosh, anyone with like afunctioning brain, right, can
(31:35):
accomplish.
Stephanie (31:35):
Yeah.
Sasha Simmons (31:37):
It's a matter of how bad they want it.
Cause if so you'll do the work,you'll, you'll make yourself
vulnerable.
You'll ask the questions.
You're going to get yourfeelings hurt.
You're going to be rejected andyou're going to go back again.
You know, all those things are apart of the process and a part
of growing.
Stephanie (31:51):
It is so true.
And it's just like, what selflimitations are you creating for
yourself that you need toovercome?
Sasha Simmons (32:02):
Yeah.
I had all of those things, man,and, and, you know, the thing is
that I want listeners tounderstand, and I have to tell
myself as well, is that it's notan, for me at least, it's never
an, I've arrived, right?
Like those, those thoughts stillcreep in.
You have to battle that shitdaily, like those, that self
(32:23):
doubt still try to, to rear itsugly head.
Stephanie (32:27):
Yes.
Sasha Simmons (32:27):
You know, am I worthy of this?
And are people going to believeme?
Am I smart?
And all these things, theyreally still show up.
And so we have to do daily workto, to like keep it down.
Keep it down.
And I talk to myself in themirror a lot.
I'm comfortable with it.
I encourage everybody to do it.
(32:49):
Talk to yourself.
Like when you finish listeningto this.
Go talk to yourself in themirror.
You can say, girl, you bad.
Girl, you fly.
Whatever you need that's goingto help get you through, say it
to yourself in the mirror.
Stephanie (33:01):
I woke up this morning and I was like, it's
going to be a great day.
And I got dressed up, my hairout.
I'm like, I look fabulous.
And it is a fabulous day.
You know.
All the time.
That's the goal.
It's not easy, but these arelike the affirmations that you
(33:26):
have to put out there foryourself.
And, you know, it's like, wetalked about fear earlier.
And behind fear is that deepdesire to become who we truly
want to be.
What is the hardest decisionthat you've made for yourself,
(33:47):
Sasha?
Sasha Simmons (33:49):
By far, by far, leaving my religion because it
was everything, right?
By far.
And it wasn't just a— Oh, Idon't want to do that anymore.
Like, I don't want to playflute.
Like I was, this was ingrainedin me.
Everything that I knew, theywere my family.
Because we didn't talk to ourfamily outside of the religion,
(34:11):
like not really.
You had to separate yourself.
So leaving was, I was faced withlosing everything I knew and
loved.
And I did for, for some time.
And I was very young navigatingthis world of not being able to
talk to parents, not being ableto talk to the people that I had
(34:34):
grown, grew up with in myreligion and the folks who were
like my aunts and my uncles andcousins, not being able to have
a relationship with them.
And also thinking that I wasgoing to go to hell at the same
time, like all of thesethoughts.
Every day, I thought I was goingto go to hell or, or I was going
to die in a fiery car crash.
Right.
And so for me, the fact that Ifaced that head on and told the
(34:56):
pastor, the, the head bishop ofthe church, like, I'm not afraid
to die and like, I'm not, I'mnot going to stay here.
There's nothing else.
Like, I literally looked deathor hell in its faith and it was
like, I'm good, so bringwhatever your life has to offer,
but that was the hardestdecision because I had to
(35:16):
unlearn everything and buildcompletely in total.
And I mean, I am just getting tothe point where I'm good and by
that I mean like in the last twoto three years.
So when I meet people, they'relike, oh my gosh, but you've
been living in Phoenix for likeeight years and I've known you
for so long.
And I'm like, yeah, but I wasstill battling it mentally in my
mind and my spirit.
(35:37):
Like there were so many things,you know, I thought I still
believe like.
For example, one of the thingsis that you can't marry somebody
outside of the church.
If you do, you automatically goto hell, period.
There's no forgiveness.
That's it.
And believe it or not, when Ithink back to my dating life,
like I'm 36 now, and I realizedthat that was, that was a huge
part of like me not dating well,or not being able to like find
(36:00):
my person because I believe...
Stephanie (36:02):
battling with that belief.
Sasha Simmons (36:04):
Correct.
So, um, so yeah, by far that wasthe hardest thing for me to do
in my life.
Stephanie (36:10):
And when did you make that decision?
Sasha Simmons (36:13):
What decision?
To leave?
Stephanie (36:15):
To leave, yeah.
Sasha Simmons (36:16):
It was a journey.
It wasn't like a light switch.
So it started, it started withquestions like, Why this?
And I don't understand that.
And um, then just being shamedby everybody in the church.
So it, it, the trend, it was atransition that took several
years for me to like, come outand be like, I don't want to do
this.
And that transition probably waslike four years.
(36:39):
Yeah.
And then it was just me battlingwith everything in my mind.
Like, Oh, am I really going todie?
You know, dealing with this?
Is this, is this why this ishappening to me?
Is God punishing me?
And, you know, and they wouldtell me, Oh, God's going to,
God's whipping you.
And this, these are this thing.
But now I go back to visitsometimes.
And they're like, they see thatmy life is this beautiful thing
(37:00):
by God's grace and also gooddecision making.
Let's, let's be very clear.
Life is a result of decisionsthat we make.
And suddenly the story haschanged.
Oh, God is blessing you so muchbecause we prayed for you.
Nah, nah, nah, nah.
That ain't what y'all wastelling me when I was in my
early twenties.
Like the story has completelychanged.
Y'all was telling me I was goingto have damnation, but y'all
(37:22):
see, you know, it's the oppositeof what damnation looks like.
And now it's,"Oh, we just loveyou so much.
And God has blessed you becausewe've been praying for you." So
it's just like, you know, okay.
Say whatever you want to say.
Stephanie (37:35):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Having the courage to make theright moves for you.
Sometimes that can be dauntingand really, really tough.
And so I'm really proud of youfor doing that for yourself.
Sasha Simmons (37:54):
Thank you so much.
It was, it was hard, you know,and it was a strain on my
relationship with my Mom.
Thank God.
It took a while to get there andshe had to understand that I
have to live my life for me.
And also I'm not out here doinglike, I don't know what type of
life they thought I was doing,but like I was hanging out with
you on Semester at Sea.
(38:14):
You know, like I wasn't, Ididn't, I wasn't out here living
a shabby life.
I was learning and experiencingculture and new things and
having...
Stephanie (38:22):
Growing and evolving into the amazing Sasha that you
are.
Sasha Simmons (38:28):
Yes.
Thank you, Stephanie.
So, yeah.
It's been a blessing and it'sbeen a journey and it's been a
beautiful, beautiful journey.
I am so grateful.
I mean, when I think about thepeople in my circle, I am like,
damn, like, everybody's amazing.
Like I have some great people inmy circle and I'm just, I
continue to be humbled by it andI continue to just meet more
(38:50):
amazing people.
And I love that.
I love hearing people's storiesand just rooting for them and
celebrating them and theirgreatness as well.
Stephanie (38:58):
And you know, we met when we were in our early
twenties.
Yeah.
This was probably the initialJourney of you discovering
yourself as an individual andreally doing Semester at Sea and
I didn't really know andunderstand those challenges that
(39:20):
you were facing internally anddealing with until years later
down the line.
So, I appreciate you coming onthis podcast and sharing that
part of you with us.
Sasha Simmons (39:35):
Thank you, Stephanie.
Thank you.
Stephanie (39:38):
For sure.
So I do want to read this, um,this post that I came across
recently because I did thinkabout you, um, and just wanted
to get your thoughts on itbecause I feel like it really
resonates to the conversationthat we've been having.
And this is from a guy namedGaren Jones, who recently had a
(40:04):
TED talk, and it's titled"How toUse Artist Power to Discover
Your Authentic Self." Agedoesn't determine our oldness.
I look and feel younger today atthe age of 44 than I did at 34.
It's how we live our lives thattruly matters.
(40:25):
The hot air balloon cannot leavethe ground unless you release
the weight.
Sasha Simmons (40:32):
Wow, that is,
Stephanie (40:34):
I still got more to read.
Sasha Simmons (40:36):
Oh, there's more?
Stephanie (40:36):
But that part right there.
Take a moment to reflect on ifyou are living a lie or as your
truest expression.
Think about your current way ofliving— your relationships, job,
health, and family— your innerintegrity.
Can you confidently say that youwon't have regrets when you look
(40:59):
back 50, 60, or 70 years fromnow?
In today's fast paced world ofcalculated distractions,
anxiety, depression, masking,overcompensating, and trying to
fit in are on the rise becausewe often forget one crucial
aspect— to actually experiencewhat it's like to truly live.
(41:23):
We forget to prioritize our wellbeing, to pursue careers that
bring fulfillment, to nurturerelationships that align with
our deepest desires, and tocreate a lifestyle that allows
us to experience joy andadventure even in our golden
years.
Today, I invite you to embracelife a little more, smile a
(41:45):
little wider, and savor theprecious moments that often go
unnoticed.
Start living with intention, butrather consciously make choices
aligned with the desires of yourheart and soul.
One decision at a time, creatinga life that is authentically
(42:07):
yours.
You'll discover that age is justa number for your soul remains
forever young.
Sasha Simmons (42:16):
That was more beautiful than anything I could
have ever said.
Wow.
And so much like that was somuch was said as you were
reading that.
It made me think about what I doto ground myself, which is
meditation.
Right before we hopped on, wetalked about that briefly.
And I think it's so powerful to,to be able to meditate, meditate
(42:41):
because it silence thedistractions, it silence the
noise.
And as he said, it's easy to bedistracted in this world.
There's a lot of, I think hesaid, calculated distractions.
There's a lot of that happening.
So what I would love to offer tofolks listening is, taking
advantage of something calledVipassana, V-I-P-A-S-S-A-N-A.
(43:03):
Vipassana is a 10 day meditationcamp, and that may seem a bit,
um, aggressive, but it is a 10day meditation camp.
It is no cost to you, yourinitial time doing it.
There are several locationsacross the United States and
across the world, really, whereyou can go and you can do that.
I did it for my 30th birthday,Stephanie.
Stephanie (43:24):
I think I remember you were telling me about this
when you did it.
Sasha Simmons (43:29):
All the things he said just now in that passage
that you read, were things thatI experienced and I felt going
through that.
Right.
Because it's really easy to lookexternally as other things that
are happening to you.
Right.
And yeah, the moving world.
But that that 10 day meditationcamp Vipassana where you're in
(43:50):
silence.
You're not, you do not speak for10 days.
You're in silence.
Stephanie (43:55):
And for you.
Yeah, I remember you told me Iwas like, Sasha doing that?
I don't know.
Sasha Simmons (44:03):
I needed it because sometimes you just need
to sit down and be quiet.
Yeah.
And listen, listen to your soul.
What is your soul saying?
Right?
What is your soul?
And you'll learn so much aboutyourself.
You'll learn how to forgive.
You'll uncover things that maybeyou were holding on to, things
that were causing you pain thatyou hadn't even necessarily
realized it because you'vesuppressed it.
(44:25):
You know, you've been dealingwith anxiety or depression, all
these things he's talked to.
So for me, All that to saymeditation is my tool and
anytime I talk to someone we goon this conversation and I the
the space and opportunity comefor me to share Vipassana with
them, I always share it and i'mlike if you have time if you
have 10 days take the time andsit with yourself and learn
(44:48):
yourself because it isabsolutely Life changing.
There's no one in this world.
You should know better thanyourself.
And so that was beautiful.
Stephanie (44:58):
Yeah, absolutely.
I'm going to look that up.
Sasha Simmons (45:02):
Yeah, there.
Yeah.
I don't know where the closestone is to you, but yeah, I went
to the one that was like rightoutside of California.
And I think it was in Caliactually, and it was for I was a
four hour drive from Phoenix.
I gave them my cell phone, gavethem my keys.
Let my, my mom knew what wasgoing on.
They wouldn't hear from me forthe next 10 days, but I'm not
missing.
And it was, it was beautiful.
(45:23):
I literally looked it up lastweek because I want to do
another 10 day, but I want toserve this time.
Like I want to be able to likehelp prepare the food and give
to people.
Stephanie (45:35):
Yeah.
That sounds like an amazingexperience
Sasha Simmons (45:38):
It was very, very refreshing.
So, so yeah, thank you forreading that and sharing.
Stephanie (45:48):
Yeah, no, I, I read it.
I was like, I feel like I shouldshare this with Sasha because I
just felt like our conversationwas going to go somewhere around
that.
And, you know, it's also justgreat to share that with the
audience as well.
(46:09):
Anyways, we are.
entrepreneurial at heart,period.
And I know that you haverecently done some additional
things.
Like working on your AF series,and I wanted to make sure that
we touch on that because I dolove the work that you're
(46:33):
putting out with that, so tellus more.
Sasha Simmons (46:36):
Thank you so much.
So I have been wanting tocreate, create word art and
quote, or I call it quote artfor a while.
And I don't know if, if this isa thing or if I made it up, but
quote art.
When you go into home goods orat home and you see like
beautiful quotes on art that youcan hang up in your home.
(46:56):
And so I, there are things that,there are quotes that I say in
my life and things that I useall the time.
And the AF series or as fuckseries is what it stands for,
uh, is what I've recentlyreleased.
You can go to my website,SashaSimmons.Com and go to shop
and you'll find it there.
But there are beautiful quoteart that's, you know, Dope As
(47:17):
Fuck.
Resilient As Fuck, Soft AF.
It has AF on the, on the actualthing.
Gifted AF, all these things, andwhatever it is that describes
you and who, and you know,really resonates with who you
are, display that in your homeand let the world know that you
are dope AF, period, full stop.
(47:38):
And that's that.
So that's, that's where we areright now.
And I, I really love it.
And it is underneath theumbrella of a Fuck Yo' Box,
which is my brand.
And it's the story that I tellof, of leaving, honestly, the
religion and finding my wingsand learning how to fly because
I was absolutely living in abox, and now I don't allow
(47:59):
people to put me in any box.
Fuck Yo' Box, all of them.
I'm not, I'm not doing that atall.
I'm not playing.
And I think that we have to bemore intentional about not being
inside of the box because it'sso limited in so many ways.
Stephanie (48:13):
Absolutely.
And I will certainly be sharingthese links in the notes.
So definitely tap in and checkit out for sure.
And I definitely need to aswell, because I need to add to
my home as I'm growing the artin this lovely space.
Sasha Simmons (48:34):
Yes.
And tap into to your network.
Again, with my homegirl, I wastrying to find somebody to to
design this for me and I wastalking to my homegirls I could
design it and I was like, that'sright.
I know people who do this soagain we're talking about list
of 100 people you know somebodyin your immediate circle, who
can help you get where you wantto be, period.
(48:56):
We just have to ask we have tohave these conversations.
Stephanie (48:59):
Like you, you don't have to go about it alone.
And I'm just thinking aboutthings that I want to do as I'm
building out the brand and I'mlooking into expanding into
wholesale and building outcollateral to support that.
There are people in my networkthat I can certainly tap into to
help me do this.
(49:20):
I don't need to seek externalpartners for that.
And like, investing in otherpeople when I can invest in
people that I know who areworking on building or even
trying to learn a skill set orbuild out a skill set to create
their own services for others.
(49:42):
So most definitely.
I agree with you on that.
And as we, you know, wrap upthis conversation, I like to end
it in hindsight, just talkingabout the younger version of
yourself.
What do you wish the youngerversion of yourself knew?
Sasha Simmons (50:06):
You mean Young Sash?
Stephanie (50:07):
Yes, Young Sash.
Sasha Simmons (50:11):
Oh, I wish that Young Sasha knew how truly— knew
and also believed how giftedshe, she was.
Because I had to convince myselffor some time that I was
(50:31):
talented and that I was giftedand I had to hear other people
say it.
And I wish that.
I just, I wish I just alwaysknew it.
I just wish that I always wasable to move through the world
with that level of confidence.
And it's funny because when Isay that to people, people
always kind of taken aback,like, really, you didn't believe
that always?
And I'm like, no, like,absolutely not.
(50:52):
But I wish that I always knewand believe that.
That you are brilliant and youhave a message, an important
message to share with the world.
And you need to share it becauseit's, it's.
It's almost like your art,right?
You're creating something that'spersonal to you.
And so you are sensitive aboutit.
And so maybe sharing yourgreatness with the world can be,
(51:13):
can be a bit intimidatingbecause the world's not always a
kind place, but it can beintimidating, but I just wish
that young Sasha knew how, howbrilliant and how talented she
truly was.
Stephanie (51:24):
Yes.
And I'm glad that that versionof Sasha is really shining right
now.
Sasha Simmons (51:31):
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Stephanie (51:33):
And so what's next for my great friend, Sasha?
Sasha Simmons (51:38):
I had an amazing meeting with an amazing person
yesterday that I can't talkabout yet.
Okay.
That is on the horizon, but weneed to like finalize some
things first.
Stephanie (51:50):
I love it.
Sasha Simmons (51:52):
Guess what?
She was on my list of a hundredpeople.
She was literally on my listand, and I've just restarted the
list.
She was number three.
So what I'm telling you is thatyou don't have to wait till you
get down in the 70s to startmaking these change and for
things to start happening.
Like literally the person on mylist and it's already, um, it's
(52:13):
already wheels are rolling andwe're going to have a, you know,
a pretty important meeting herecoming up in the next few weeks
to really solidify things.
And, um, I'm just so grateful.
I'm so grateful and excited.
Stephanie (52:27):
That's really, really exciting.
And I'm looking forward tohearing more about this.
Sasha Simmons (52:34):
Yes.
I can't wait to share once, oncethe ink's dry, then I can share.
Stephanie (52:38):
Yes.
Amazing.
Well, thank you so much, Sasha,for coming on and chatting it up
with me and sharing all of yourgreat gems with us.
Sasha Simmons (52:52):
Thank you for having me, Stephanie.
It's always a pleasure.
You know, you are my girl, soI'm always here and available to
support you and to champion you,celebrate you any way I can.
Stephanie (53:03):
Thank you.
And that's a wrap.
So own it and make moves.
One day, I want to share yourjourney on this podcast.
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