February 28, 2025 • 45 mins
"Muslim Matchmaker" is making waves, and we’re diving deep into it. In this episode, we break down whether the show hits or misses when it comes to Islamic courtship. Does it reflect our values, or are there some glaring mismatches? We chat about the show's ideas and how it stacks up against other matchmaking shows. Does the flashy aesthetic add anything meaningful, or is it just for the 'gram?
Our conversation goes beyond just the drama. It’s about the principles that should drive real connections, grounded in faith. We want to spark some reflection and critical thinking on how these portrayals shape the way we view relationships and the Muslim community. Trust us, you won’t want to miss this one!
We'd love to hear your opinion on the show, even if you disagree. Feel free to leave a comment or send an email.
Got a dilemma or story? The Single Muslim Hotline is here for you! We’ll play your anonymous messages in future episodes and offer real talk. Drop us a voice note 👇🏻
https://www.speakpipe.com/DiaryOfAMatchmaker
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Assalamu alaikum, I'm Hiba.
And I'm Zaid, you're listeningto Diary of a Matchmaker.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
A podcast that will take you into our world as
matchmakers.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
We'll share our experiences and offer advice for
the single Muslim.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
So let's dive in.
Bismillah, assalamu alaikumeveryone, welcome to another
episode.
My name is Zaid and on theother mic is my wife and co-host
Hiba.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Assalamu alaikum.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
We are excited for today's episode.
I mean, we're always excited Ofcourse.
But today is a little differentbecause we're doing something
that we've never done before,which is reviewing a show.
I never thought I'd bereviewing a TV show ever in my
life.
Yeah, I mean we're wearing thecritical glasses today, right,
(00:46):
um, but we finally got done witha show that's streaming on hulu
and disney plus.
Um, it's a show that's gettinga lot of attention across
instagram and it's called muslimmatchmaker.
So, of course, naturally, youcan tell that this caught our
eye because we are matchmakers.
Of course, so we were verycurious to dive into this show
(01:08):
and see what is their process.
Are they any different orsimilar to the way we do?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
our work.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
And maybe we could learn something.
That was our intention going tothe show, right?
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yeah, actually I was excited when I heard of it and
saw the trailer.
I'm like, oh wow, finallyMuslim representation on TV and
it looked nice.
The trailer is so nice.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah, not just that, but the matchmakers themselves
wear hijab.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Actually one of them, so their names are Huda and
Yasmin.
And Yasmin we actually met inperson a few months ago.
There was a fundraiser forhuman appeal human appeal um
raising funds for gaza, and shewas one of the.
They had three comedians,stand-up comedians.
She was one of them.
Her bet was really nice.
She talked about the fact thatshe's a lawyer, she's divorced
(01:57):
and her experience with herparents.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
It was really nice yeah, so a lot of it was
relationship-based.
But yeah, we we enjoyed it alot.
But you know, we talked to herafter and she didn't mention
she's a matchmaker, which isvery surprising because now we
saw the show we were like and ittook me a minute I'm like that
lady looks familiar.
We had to look her up and Iremembered.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Yeah that this is yasmin the comedian.
Would have been a greatconversation to have yeah, um,
so talking about the show.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Yeah, so talking about the show.
So a quick summary of what theshow is.
It's pretty much what's in thetitle Two Muslim matchmakers in
the States matching Muslims,setting them up on dates and
providing some guidance andmentoring throughout the process
.
And in the show you see themjumping on video calls, checking
(02:43):
in on them, which is a bitsimilar to how we do our work,
but there's also a lot ofdifferences which we'll get into
in a bit.
So we have four criteria onwhich we want to evaluate the
show.
The first one is number one isit Islamically aligned?
The second one is the level ofinformation that the show
(03:05):
provided, because I wanted toput myself in the shoes of a
non-Muslim and as a non-Muslim,am I getting sufficient
information about Islam and theworld of Muslims in the West or
not?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
At the end of the day , it's not a da'wah show, right.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
It's not.
It's not, but when you watch ashow, you're unintentionally
looking to learn something.
Yeah right, I gave you theexample of dope sick, which is
an amazing oh, my god, if youhaven't watched it, go watch it.
Yeah, so this after ramadanthough, yeah um, if you haven't
seen dope sick it's.
It takes you into the world ofpharmaceutical, the
(03:42):
pharmaceutical industry and uh,and how drug reps work and and
all of that stuff, even thoughit is dramatized, but it really
takes you into that world yeah,the role of pharma and the uh
opiate uh problem.
Yes, so when you're watching ashow, you are being transported
into this world and you want tosee what is this world like?
(04:04):
Right, that's kind of the jobof of a producer, director and
stuff like that same thing withhouse md right point number
three, um, the overall packagingand aesthetics of the show.
Uh, the music, the, the, thelighting, everything.
Now we're not producers or youknow uh people in the
entertainment industry, but asan audience member, we can at
(04:26):
least give some sort of feedbackas to what we felt.
And four, and this one's veryimportant originality.
All right, and we're going totalk a lot about that, and of
course, we're going to talk alittle bit about Indian
matchmaker.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Wink wink, wink wink.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
So oh yeah, and each point we're going gonna give a
rating from zero to ten and thengive an average at the end.
Yeah, so where do we startabout?
Speaker 1 (04:52):
can we start with originality please?
Speaker 2 (04:55):
all right all right, let's start with originality, so
you would.
I'm gonna let you lead this one, because I feel like your blood
was boiling because you weretalking so much about this one
topic.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Okay, Okay.
So a disclaimer from thebeginning we're happy for Huda
and Yasmeen.
It's great to find a finallyMuslim representation on TV.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
like we said, yes, we're trying to be objective.
We're not just bashing the showfor the sake of bashing.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
You gave it away that we're bashing.
Okay, so we're not bashing theshow.
We're giving, like you said,our unbiased well it is biased
somehow.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
We're trying to be objective.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
We're trying to be objective yeah and we might be
completely off.
So if you disagree with us, ifyou love the show, by all means
originality.
So anyone who's watched uhindian matchmaker would feel
that this is an exact copycat ofit, like starting with the
colors they use, the fonts, thelike things about production.
(05:52):
Like, for example, when theyask the client what are you
looking for?
What are your deal-breakers?
The way it's written on thescreen, it's exactly like Indian
matchmaker.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
And even to add to that like even when they cut
back and forth between the dateand the interview, it was just
like Indian Matchmaker.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Like the matchmaker is sitting in a room and they're
interviewing them, gettingtheir feedback, and then they're
cutting back to the date.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
The filming is exactly the same.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Exactly as if the producers were the same.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Maybe Actually we should have checked.
Maybe actually we should havechecked.
Maybe it's the same producerseven though Indian Matchmaker
was on Netflix, but even the waythe title is written Muslim
Matchmakers it's the exact sameway like Indian Matchmakers same
color, same font.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
It's actually singular Muslim Matchmaker Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Like, honestly, if there were no hijabs and if
there were no ladies wearing thehijab, you wouldn't be able to
tell that this is a Muslim showor this is a show about Muslims.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
So, in terms of originality, I want to talk a
lot about the dialogue and theconversations the clients had
with the matchmakers and evenwith friends and family, and it
just felt like, and we were onthe same page about this.
It just felt like, and we wereon the same page about this.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
It just felt like a lot of islamic language quote
unquote was inserted yeah, likecompletely out of context, like
there's this guy who's likemaking a dish with his mom uh,
not rehan, what's his name?
Um?
Speaker 2 (07:18):
was it rehan?
Speaker 1 (07:19):
no, not rehan the noreen's date.
What's his name?
Yeah, fahim so he was cookingwith his mom and he's asking her
, oh, is this chicken halal?
And his mom, like they'reMuslims, their mom is wearing
the hijab and it's just like youwould never ask your mom if the
chicken is halal some phrasesthat all the clients mentioned
(07:42):
my halal to haram ratio, whichwe're going to talk about it
more.
Uh, under the how islamicallyaligned the show is.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
But it's like that phrase made me cringe so much
every time I heard it, and itwas repeated, so it was repeated
.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
So it sounded like we might be wrong.
But to us it sounded likethey're being fed some lines,
some information.
I don't know yeah in terms ofproduction, like, uh, the whole
I don't know the ambience, themusic that was used is so much
resembled the way that theindian matchmaker was done right
(08:15):
the music.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Like you said, um or before, before we started
filming, we were talking aboutthe show.
That would have been nice ifthey used some rude, some arab
music some pakistani music yeah,like something that would be a
reflection of the culture, yeah,um, of the of the clients right
, exactly, and there weremalaysian people there there was
(08:36):
um.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
I can't remember that they were arabs and daisies
aflani.
Aflani is uh african africanAfrican, african American.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Yeah, so it was all just western music it was pop.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
So much pop culture show but, you know that we're
gonna discuss more underinformation information.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Yeah, and the last thing I wanna say is that there
were clips of clients praying inthe show, which is great.
I'm not against that, but itdoesn't.
It didn't seem like it servedthe show.
It didn't flow.
It didn't flow yeah.
Yeah, that it just felt it wasinserted and that the producers
or whoever was running the showwanted to insert that in to say,
(09:18):
oh, here, these are Muslimspraying and.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Okay, so how much would you give it?
On originality Originality.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
the only reason I could put it on the scoreboard
is just due to the reason thatit's a new concept.
It's the first time this hasbeen done, so maybe give it a
two.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Okay, I think I would give it the same number.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Two Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
So let's write it down, because we're going to
calculate later.
Yes, so let's write it down,because we're gonna calculate
later.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yes, so let's say two .
Okay, um, let's talk aboutislamic alignment.
So there's a lot to say hereand naturally, we were comparing
this to our own service.
Now, I don't want to gloat myown service, but I can't help to
think that what we do for ourclients and this is coming from
(10:09):
a place of sincerity, not tobrag, but I genuinely feel like
we do more for our clients thanwhat the matchmakers were doing
for their clients here.
And we'll explain exactly how,because we've talked about this
in previous episodes, what ourprocess is.
But we can kind of roughly gothrough it again.
So in the show show, theirprocess is um, they, they find a
(10:32):
match for their client and, uh,they, in many cases they set
them up on a blind date,completely blind, completely
blind, and they don't know whothey're going to meet, what the
guy looks like, what the girllooks like, core values,
expectations marital status.
Marital status nothing and um,and they're not even meeting up
(10:54):
for like dinner or coffee.
Actually, some of the dateswere, but I believe majority of
them were activities based yeahgo-karting bowling, flying,
flying.
Oh yeah, that was one becauseone of the guys had a pilot
license.
Yeah, and unfortunately, manyof them, many of the double
dates did not go well.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Actually, except for Fahim and Noreen, all of them
ended up like not working out.
Yeah, I think you're right andwe don't know actually what
happened later with Noreen andFahim.
I really hope they got married.
They're so cute.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Yeah, that would be nice.
So him, I really hope they gotmarried.
They're so cute.
Yeah, that would be nice.
Yeah, um, so number one, Igotta state the obvious in islam
we do not date, so, however, wedo court.
Now, what are the parametersand the guidelines behind
courting?
It's very basic right.
The wali is aware.
(11:47):
What else?
Speaker 1 (11:49):
You're not alone at an enclosed area.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Correct.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
No touching.
Like in some cases there washugging, they were hugging.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Oh yeah, and then some handshaking.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Handshaking.
Okay, handshaking.
I mean I'm not going to make abig deal about that, but hugging
just didn't sit well with me.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Yeah, what else?
Of course, you're meeting withthe sole intention of marriage.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
That's what they all were doing.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
One of them.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Okay, we're going to talk about Omar.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
We'll talk about Omar in a second.
But yeah, you know what?
Let's just talk about Omarright now.
So there was a match Mariam andOmar in there and they got set
up.
I believe it was a blind dateand lo and behold, I think it
was on the second or third date.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
The second, the second date, yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Omar reveals that he was looking to date for at least
a year, maybe be engaged foranother year then, um, and then
have kids and then get me.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Oh, he didn't want to talk to her father before two
years.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yes, yes, and then get married and then have kids a
few years later five yearslater five years later or
something like that.
Now mariam just looked at her,looked at him and said straight
to his face so you want me tohave kids at 36?
Speaker 1 (13:08):
and there was this awkward silence and he's like
yeah, oh yeah, he said yeah, andthen like there was just, she
just had this look and that wasthe, the straw that broke the
camel's back yeah, yeah, becausein the first date there they
looked great together, they hadchemistry and which we're going
to talk more about, thisemotional connection, um, but
yeah, it wasn't until the seconddate that so, had the
(13:31):
matchmakers done their jobproperly, they would have known
that this person is looking toget married soon and she's
serious, and the other person islooking to date for a long time
and then get married after godknows how many years, most
importantly as a matchmaker.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
I would not set up those two exactly so had they
done their work right, their jobright.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Oh, this reminds me of another thing, just taking it
back to originality.
So their first date, omar andMaryam's first date it was a
furniture store.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Oh yeah, appliance store, appliance store, yeah,
yeah, this is exactly how theydid it in Indian Matchmaker.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
There was line store.
Yeah, this is exactly how theydid it in indian matchmaker.
There was a date I think it wasmaybe nadia or something, I
can't remember.
Uh, her first date with hermatch was at a furniture store
wow, yeah, so they copied thatyeah come on like it's so
obvious anyone who's watchedindian matchmaker yeah, that's
disappointing, that'sdisappointing.
Okay, so we were talking abouthow islamically aligned it is
(14:30):
yes.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
So number one you're when you are meeting somebody.
You're meeting somebody for thepurpose and intention of
marriage, so you're not going towaste time talking about food,
about the weather, things likethat.
You're going to come preparedwith important questions that
are going to form the foundationof a potential marriage.
That's the same guidance wegive all of our clients before
(14:53):
we schedule a double date.
And uh, yeah, we have apre-date call and a post-date
call and uh, and it's veryimportant, they come with this
uh, intention and knowledge.
But we didn't see any of thatin the show yeah, like one guy
guidance or anything like that.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Like, uh, speaking of blind dates, one guy um forgot
his name.
He was so surprised when helearned from his match on the
first date that she's divorcee.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Oh, poor yasmin.
I remember the girl's name.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Oh, she's the most beautiful girl I've seen, very,
very pretty Mashallah mashallah.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
So yeah, she went through an unfortunate divorce.
Yeah.
And then when she mentionedthat she was divorced he was
shocked the guy just had thislook and it's just like the
Mariam and Omar situation.
It could have easily beenprevented.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Oh, and he also said that he messaged her, texted her
God, that's so awful.
He messaged her, texted her God, that's so awful.
He messaged her after that date.
Oh, you're not physically mytype, so had he been coached, he
would know that this is not theway you speak to a lady, I
think.
Or had he seen her picturebefore, he would have known that
(16:06):
she's not his type and he wouldhave spared her this.
I don't know.
What do you call it?
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Heartache, heartache.
Yeah, if there's one thing I'velearned, alhamdulillah, doing
this work, is that to not takecommon sense for granted.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
You have a friend who says common sense is a rare
what?
Speaker 2 (16:28):
No one of my co-workers says common sense is
a rare what.
No one of my co-workers sayscommon sense is a superpower,
because she always sees teachersdoing stupid things, but
regardless, um, but yeah,sometimes guys just, and even
girls actually, it's more sowith guys in my experience yeah,
yeah just don't know what tosay and what not to say.
You don't set up a double datethinking that they have the
(16:50):
right tools, like, for example,when we do our service, when we
put them on a double date numberone.
We're with them the entire timeand we sit with them in the
beginning because we knowthere's going to be tension,
awkwardness, nervousness, all ofthat stuff.
So we sit with them.
We have our specificallydesigned ice breakers and only
(17:11):
after we can gauge that they arecomfortable, then we put them
in a separate breakout room or,if it's in person, we'll go to
another table and if they needmore time, then we'll sit with
them more, because the goal isto make them feel comfortable,
because only when they'recomfortable then they're going
to open up to each other yeahand.
But the other important part ofthis is that we have activities.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
We don't just let them exactly just you know
figure out their conversationsyeah we have activities, so they
have tools to rely on todiffuse that awkwardness and
these questions and activitieshelp them to learn from the
beginning if there's somethingto work with here or if this
person is completely wrong forthem.
But even before the date, thedouble date, we tell them about
(17:55):
the other person over a videocall.
Tell them about their corevalues, their circumstances.
They see a picture, they see avideo introduction.
And how did we learn that blinddates is a recipe for disaster?
We learned it by a trial anderror.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
So yeah, we did our first.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Yeah, go ahead our first uh matrimonial event, we
decided we want to set up sevenguys with seven girls,
completely blind.
But after we went through theirforms and we saw some level of
compatibility, we set them up.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Yes, so each person was carefully screened.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Yeah, how successful was that?
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Well, we thought we had one successful match, but
then, months later, we found outthat it fell apart.
So bottom line 0%, yeah, but Idon't want to draw a conclusion
just from that one badexperience that blind dates are
a bad thing.
Well, that experience and alsothe show you saw from the show
yes, the important thing is that, as a matchmaker, you have a
duty to screen, assesscompatibility and make sure that
(19:00):
the people you are setting upare compatible on multiple
levels, not just on thesuperficial aspects, but on the
deeper parts too, Core values,lifestyle expectations, things
like that.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
I think we went completely off track.
We were talking about howIslamically aligned this is, and
now we're talking about theprocess itself.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
That's fine.
Okay, I just want to let thisall out.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Yeah, okay, one thing in this how Islamically aligned
this?
This is this phrase.
They kept repeating what's yourhalal to haram ratio?
I know what is this like.
How much haram are you willingto tolerate, or how much haram
do you do compared to you?
Speaker 2 (19:40):
the halal like yeah and, like I want to take into
account that not everybody isthis cookie cutter Muslim.
Right, muslims vary across thespectrum.
You have your Muslims that don'tdress modestly, which we saw in
the show, and you have yourhijabis, which we also saw in
the show.
So I guess in that sense theydid try to give a representation
(20:03):
of different Muslims in theWest.
So I'm not going to say thatthe show should have only used
Muslims that fit into that moldof a perfect Muslim, because
that would be doing an injusticeto the Muslims in the West.
So in that sense I guess theshow did do a fair
(20:24):
representation.
But, however, I felt that thedesigners of the show, the
producers, they should have hada muslim producer to show that,
even though you know there aremuslims engaging in haram, what
does islam say about what isallowed and what is not allowed?
Because, as a non-muslimwatching this show, you
(20:46):
naturally are going to absorband learn about this world of
islam, right, and you don't wantthe non-muslim to take away
from this and think that certainharam things are acceptable in
islam, because hey, I see thesemuslims on the show doing these
things yeah and it's okay to dothose things.
Just because muslims are doingthese things doesn't mean it's
okay in islam yeah they're justin a different spectrum.
(21:07):
They're at a differentspiritual level yeah and they
may be trying to improve or gaina closer connection to allah.
Am I making?
Sense, or am I just yeah, yeah,yeah, I feel like that they
should have been a part of theshow, right like an educational
aspect hey, if you have a storyto tell, we'd love to have you
(21:29):
on here.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
you'll find a safe space of listeners who can
understand what you're goingthrough.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
So what stood out to us when we were thinking about
our service is that we have asupervision element to our
double dates.
We never leave the clientsalone.
We didn't see that in the show.
Now let's talk a little aboutwe talked about actually already
Islamic courting right.
Now, had the show revealed that,oh, this girl is getting
(22:05):
permission from her wali, or shespoke to her dad, her dad's
aware that she's meeting a guy,then okay, that's good.
They're meeting in a publicplace.
The wali is aware they'reobviously meeting for the
intention of marriage.
There's no hand-holding, it'snot a private place,
everything's good.
But none of that was apparentto us in the show and as the
(22:25):
matchmakers, they should havebeen supervising the double
dates, but they didn't.
In one case, huda was justspying on them from her car and
then calling Yasmeen saying hey,I'm watching them right now in
a creepy way and it looks likeit's going great.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
It's not Islamically aligned, but I don't think they
were chaperoning the other datesbecause they were happening in
different states yes, and theyweren't flying from one place to
another.
I think they flew only like onceor twice or something.
But from what it looked itdidn't like it wasn't chaperone.
Because, yeah, one uh clientsaid to her on the phone we
(23:03):
stayed out late and then yasminwas like oh, like somehow trying
to say that's not right becausehe's not going to take you
seriously or something.
Instead, of course, she shouldhave said that that's haram, you
shouldn't be staying out latewith the guy.
So this tells you that there isno element of chaperoning.
Now somebody could hear thisand say we don't live in an like
(23:26):
an idealistic world.
Right, we don't live in anidealistic world.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Right, we don't live in Saudi or the Middle East.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
No, not even that, like you just said, you have
your religious people who willnot go out alone and stuff, and
you have maybe a big portion ofMuslims in the West.
This is the reality.
They date, they go out and thisis not a da'wah show.
This is just a show to show youreality.
Right, it's a reality show,fair enough.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
But as a non-muslim watching this, I'm going to see
this as a representation ofislam exactly that's problematic
exactly, yeah and so it'simportant that the educational
element or aspect was somehowweaved into the show.
Yeah, so showing somehowthrough the matchmakers
obviously I mean the practicingmuslims that this is what islam
(24:13):
teaches and this is the realityof what we have here in the west
and as matchmakers.
This is what we struggle with,and we have to somehow find a
way to balance that yeah, and toand to walk that tightrope,
yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Like you know, when I watched Indian Matchmaker I got
a very good look andunderstanding of how Desi
culture works, their habits, howthey get married.
The parental involvement, likeit, gives you a really good
understanding of the culture.
I mean, you're Desi, you wouldknow right, right Well.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
I mean it was more reflective of the culture.
I mean you're desi, you wouldknow.
Right right, well.
I mean it was more reflectiveof, like, hindu culture.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
But I mean there is some overlap because it's
incontinent, yeah yeah, but no,what I was trying to say is
indian matchmaker gives you goodinformation, gives you good
quality information about theculture and the point is that,
as an outsider, you came in andyou learned something, exactly
but but somebody watching Muslimmatchmaker.
They wouldn't okay.
So how is this different fromlike Western culture and how
(25:12):
people get matched right?
Speaker 2 (25:14):
And the funny thing is talking about that.
The advice that we kept hearingis very much what non-Muslims
would give their friends.
Right.
It didn't seem like there wasany sort of Islamic alignment
with the advice.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
For example, maryam was going too fast with Omar and
the advice that Yasmeen gaveher was like no slow down, you
shouldn't go too fast, and theadvice it felt so general and so
Western and this emotionalconnection and all of that like
(25:48):
a lot of mention aboutdeveloping an emotional
connection.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
That's just a western thing.
What?
Speaker 1 (25:52):
about values?
What about expectations?
Like there was no mention ofthat yeah, I mean to be fair.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Yasmin did say so in their rule of three.
You go on three days and youhave a list of I think is it 300
questions uh, 11 categories, Idon't know how many questions
and I don't know why they didn'telaborate on that, because
that's important, exactly, butthere wasn't much elaboration on
that, on what the questions are.
We got a few of the questionsduring those dates, um, but they
(26:23):
didn't.
The questions didn't seem to govery deep.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
No scenario-based questions the clients honestly
did say that the questions weregreat.
They wouldn't have thought toask these questions themselves.
So there's a lot we didn't seethat wasn't caught on camera.
So maybe the questions aregreat, we don't know.
But this rule of three, I don'tlike it.
(26:49):
Like there was I remember thisum, which girl there was a match
?
Like the girl, it was soobvious umnia, umnia and felani.
Yeah, it was so obvious fromthe first date that this is not
a good match.
Felani was so excited and stuff, but umnia was.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
She was giving him the death stare, remember yes,
and you know I was so annoyed atFulani because he would always
show up late yeah for the datesor not for the days for the
calls yeah and um.
And then what ended uphappening and this is a hundred
percent at the fault of thematchmakers poor fulani flew in
(27:27):
to meet umnia and he got stoodup.
He waited there for hours andthen umnia called him saying oh,
after like maybe five hourslater messaged him no, called
him yeah or he called her and uh, she said yeah, I just got uh
done with dinner with my friends.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Yeah and uh and that was it like she stood him up so
the thing is, it was obviousfrom the first date that this is
not a good match.
And uh, omnia expressed this tothe matchmaker, but she kept,
she pushed her, she pushed herand uh, like it was meant to be
a disaster, like, why wastethree months if you know from
(28:05):
the beginning this is not a goodmatch?
I'm not attracted to them.
Why waste three months of yourtime and their time, exactly?
Speaker 2 (28:11):
and with our service, we input a lot of focus and
energy into preparing for thatone meeting, because in that one
, yes, it's like three hourmeeting, but in that one meeting
you can assess enough toconsider moving forward with
this person Right, like as wecoach our clients.
(28:32):
Like the purpose of thismeeting is to see if there is a
foundation.
Right, to see if there iscommon expectations, values,
goals.
Yeah.
And from that you can buildupon for the purpose of marriage
.
Yeah.
And you don't need three datesto do that Over three months,
over three months.
It's such a waste of time.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
You know what it just occurred to me right now Same
way.
I don't mean to be boastful oranything, I'm just thinking
about our double dates.
So, out of all the double dateswe had, it's either they went
great and the couple got married, or big portion of them
majority of them didn't go greatand they told us after the
(29:12):
meeting that no, this is not agood match.
I don't see a future with thisperson, which meant that the
double date did its job, thequestions did their job, and
there was just a minority ofdates where the match said, yes,
I want to pursue this, and thenit didn't work out and they
came back to us.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
And in those cases when it didn't work out, it was
because of very silly reasons,like in one case, the guy and
the girl just didn't follow up.
There was no communication.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
So what I'm trying to say is, like you said, why
prolong the suffering, right?
So the date was the questionswe provided in the activities.
They helped them assess fromthe beginning that this is going
to be great and they gotmarried, or that, no, this is
not a good match.
And they didn't get married,they didn't continue this and
they didn't waste their time.
(30:01):
Yeah.
Yeah, right, yeah, okay, time.
Yeah, yeah, right, yeah, okay,no, I I just realized this for,
uh, now for the first time,honestly, that it's a minority
of dates, that they said yes andit didn't work out yeah, now
that I think I'm trying to thinkof specific cases, but you're
right yeah and um, and I didn'trealize that, like, that's a
(30:23):
different way of looking at it,because even if the double dates
weren't successful, they weresuccessful in the fact that they
serve their purpose.
Exactly, yeah, I didn't thinkabout that.
Okay, makes me feel good aboutmy service, alhamdulillah, okay.
So how much would you rate itin terms of how Islamically
aligned it is?
Speaker 2 (30:41):
How Islamically aligned it is.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
I would have to say zero.
No, come on, it's not like theywere drinking alcohol on the
show.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
Okay, okay, fair enough.
I mean they were.
They did say inshallah a fewtimes and okay, so I'll give it
a one.
No, really, I mean they lose alot of points because of the
sole fact that they're dating.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Okay, I would give it four, like less than a half.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Why four?
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Because at the end of the day, it's not like they did
anything haram on the show.
Like clear haram in your face.
There were some Islamicreferences okay they were
wearing hijabs, some of themokay which goes under Islamic
(31:37):
references.
So yeah, I would give it fourokay.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
I think I can go with a four.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Then, now that we can find the middle ground, if
you're not convinced, threethink I can go with a four.
Then now that we find them, wecan find the middle ground if
you're not convinced three.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
I'm gonna go with three okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
So between three and four, that's three and a half
three point five okay, good, uh,information.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
We talked, we already covered that uh, yeah yeah, we
covered that
Speaker 1 (32:04):
about information um, I okay, I don't know if this
falls under information or not,but I just have to mention it
because it made my blood boil.
Why the hell was therestarbucks coffee and coca-cola
on the show, when everybodyknows like by now it's like
(32:26):
common knowledge that these twocompanies are genocide
supporters?
Yeah, and it's not like thisshow was recorded and filmed
like three years ago, like thegenocide's been going on for 16
months now, if not more, true,true, and I mean, I am guilty of
getting a brownie fromstarbucks.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Pre-genocide, okay, um, pre-genocide, we were all
guilty of getting a brownie fromStarbucks pre-genocide, okay,
pre-genocide.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
We were all guilty of that.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
We were all guilty Because we tried looking up when
this was filmed and produced.
So if it was pre-genocide, thenI guess you guys can get
somewhat of a pass.
But there is no pass if it'spost-October 7th 2023.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Seriously, seriously Like.
This is a Muslim show.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Yeah, that is very, very disappointing.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
So yeah, that's not under information, I guess.
But yeah, Maybe I don't know,Maybe.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
But yeah, as I mentioned before, I was just
very disappointed to not get theIslamic perspective on marriage
, on courting, like, of courseI'm not looking for a fiqh class
, but just a basic understandingwhere, like, a non-Muslim can
come in and say this is adifferent way of getting married
(33:41):
that is working for Muslims.
That is unique.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
That eliminates all sorts of fahisha yeah, right,
like lewdness, yeah, like for anon-muslim to come out of this
show and say, oh, I didn't knowthis about muslims, I didn't
know this about islam.
So how much would you rate itfor information?
Speaker 2 (34:01):
so they talked about istikharah.
They talked about um, what else?
I mean, we saw people praying,some people wearing hijab.
So in terms of information, I'dgive it a four yeah, I'd say
the same thing four.
Okay, so let's talk packagingum okay, can I talk?
(34:22):
You don't need permission.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
No, because this is like the show is cute.
Honestly, anyone, any girl, whosaw the show, they would say
it's super cute I hate that wordlike you've ruined the word for
me it is super cute.
Um, yeah, it's the colors theyuse, like the comedy.
Yasmin, of course, she's astand-up comedian, so that
(34:46):
energy shined through the show.
She was so much fun to watch.
What else?
What else?
Yeah, just the overall likefilming of the show and
production, it was nice.
Besides the point that it's notexactly Islamically relevant,
but it was nice to watch.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
It was nice, but it was hard to overlook the fact
that it was exactly like indianmatchmaker.
You know, like you said, the,the line, the, the font, the,
the way the interviews were doneso it's hard to think about
packaging while at the same timenot comparing.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
Not just comparing, but not keeping that in mind
that it's a copycat actually, wejust saw that one of the
executive producers of this showis the same one on indian
matchmaker yeah, and she has ahindu name, okay, so maybe they
were trying.
Maybe that's actuallyintentional, because people have
seen indian matchmaker, theyknow it, they love it, so they
(35:47):
wanted to just take the saferway and present something that
people are familiar with.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Maybe, maybe.
That's another conversation foranother day and I could talk
about that for hours.
Actually, I just made thiscomment before we started
filming, that it feels like thequality of TV or the bar is just
dropping like we were justreading like reviews on what is
(36:16):
it called imbd no indb no.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
I okay, you just say it imdb imdb yes okay, okay.
We were watching readingreviews and people were like 10
out of 10.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
This is amazing, this is I think there were all 10.
There must have been at leastfour or five reviews, and I
believe there were all 10 I'mlike are you serious?
Like come on man, this is no,this is entertainment.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
This is at the end of the day.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
It's entertainment, yes, but there's entertainment,
and then there's goodentertainment right Like
entertainment that informs you,enlightens you, that really
transports you into a new worldand teaches you something.
I didn't get that, maybebecause I'm Muslim and I know
these things thing.
(37:06):
I didn't get that, yeah right,maybe because I'm muslim and I
know these things.
But like, if I was to putmyself in the shoes of a
non-muslim and just see this forthe first time, I wouldn't like
you said, I wouldn't see adifference much of a difference.
Yeah, it's just the added bonusof seeing hijab and people
praying and saying inshallah.
That's it?
Speaker 1 (37:20):
yeah, I guess.
Well, we'll have to hear from anon-muslim If there are any
non-Muslims out there listeningto this show?
First of all, thank you.
We're very honored that you'relistening to us.
Second of all, we'd love toknow what you thought of the
show as a non-Muslim.
Do you think it gave you Idon't know a clear picture or
(37:41):
taught you new information aboutMuslims and Islam?
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Even as a Muslim, I just felt like this this is an
islamic because I like to befair.
I grew up in a veryconservative environment I went
to a private islamic school.
I went to a mother's house fortwo years, so my worldview was
very different.
Um, so I have to take that intoconsideration.
But I would have just loved tosee and I said this before and
(38:07):
I'll say it again an educationalelement to the show, just
teaching people the very basicsof Muslim courting, marriage,
how unique it is, how differentit is, maybe even as to go as
far as an imam just beinginterviewed for one or two
(38:28):
minutes just saying what are theconditions of a nikah.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
That would have been great, honestly.
That would have been beautifulto see and I didn't get that.
What do you think the reactionof a scholar or a sheikh
watching this show?
Speaker 2 (38:41):
He wouldn't get past the first two minutes.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
You think so?
Speaker 2 (38:44):
He would turn.
I guarantee you any respectablescholar would not get past the
first two minutes.
You think so he would turn.
I guarantee you any respectablescholar would not get past
maybe five minutes.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
I would really love to hear some of the scholars
feedback or reaction to thisshow, or because, at the end of
the day, like you said, it'sentertainment.
They're not claiming to bedoing any da'wah, or it's just
entertainment, yeah or it's justentertainment.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Good entertainment, I guess I guess I guess um.
So how much would you rate itin terms of um overall
production and packaging?
Speaker 2 (39:15):
um on its own, trying to take out indian matchmaker
and just look at it as its ownthing.
Um, it was nice.
It was clear I could heareverything I was able to, um,
connect the stories andeverything, so I I'd give it
like maybe a six.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
Okay, yeah yeah sure same, okay, so let's average
these numbers out okay, uh, waita six and we have four six plus
four plus 3.5 plus two dividedby four is 3.8.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
Wow okay that's our score for the show, ladies and
gentlemen, okay, so.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
I have a question for you.
If a producer came to you andoffered you this opportunity to
have your own show, they'repaying you great money, it's
going to be great promotion forour service and the show is
going to come out just like aMuslim matchmaker, meaning
they're not doing haram thingsthere's no like premarital sex
(40:29):
or anything God forbid but thereare things that are not exactly
in line with Islam.
What would you do?
Speaker 2 (40:36):
Idealistically speaking, I would say no Because
, at the end of the day, I feeland this isn't to belittle the
work of Huda and Yasmeen but Ifeel that the show was not an
accurate representation ofIslamic courtship and the
(40:59):
Islamic way of getting to know aspouse.
So if a producer wanted me todo it just like that, I would
say no, as hard as it sounds,and it's easy for me to say that
because I don't have a milliondollar offer in front of me
right now.
So, yes, sounds, and it's easyfor me to say that because I
don't have a million dollaroffer in front of me right now.
So, yes, it is very easy for meto say that.
But, like I said,idealistically speaking, uh, I
would.
I would say no because I'm notgoing to compromise on my
(41:22):
religious values.
At the end of the day, howwould you feel?
Speaker 1 (41:26):
I think I would try as much as I can to pressure the
producers.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Of course I do the same.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
Yeah, to have it the way it should be.
But honestly, I would love totell you that, yeah, for sure I
will refuse, but I'm not sure.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Well, yeah, I mean, if you got a million plus offer
to do that and you know, at theend of the the day it's not
necessarily haram, but I mean itkind of, is it kind?
Speaker 1 (41:53):
of, isn't, though, at the end of the day, I mean they
are dating on the show.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
So you do not date.
Speaker 1 (41:59):
Dating is haram yeah so but I guess, what about um
this thought that they aremeeting muslims where they are
right now, like they're notchanging.
They're trying to help themwhere they are right now.
So, instead of turning, turningthem down and say, no, I don't
want to work with someone likeyou, at least let's do the best
(42:21):
we can with the circumstancethat's the tricky thing how do
you help muslims withoutcompromising on islamic values?
Speaker 2 (42:29):
right there is one thing the Prophet would always
meet Muslims where they were.
He would see companionsdrinking, companions that would
come up to him talking aboutpremarital sex.
It's nothing new.
But at the same time, theProphet never compromised on
(42:49):
religion itself for the sake ofinviting people to Islam.
So, similarly speaking, youdon't compromise on Islam itself
for the sake of helping people,even if it's for marriage.
I think that's just my opinion.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Yeah, because it feels like they're enabling
wrong behaviors.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
Right, yeah because it feels like they're enabling
wrong behaviors, right, I guess?
I don't know.
I mean, they're not encouragingthem to have premarital sex.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
They're not encouraging them.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
They're not setting up dates at the club or at bars
or anything like that, so there,is that aspect?
Speaker 1 (43:24):
It's a gray area, it is a very gray area but.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
I don't know I'm more on the conservative side.
I think now that I think moreabout this because of my
upbringing and the environmentthat I've been brought up in.
Other people might feeldifferent, but that's just how I
feel about it.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
First of all, like we mentioned before, we have
nothing against Yasmin and Huda.
Actually, we don't know Huda.
We met Yasmin and we absolutelyadored her.
I'm sure she doesn't rememberus though probably she doesn't
but uh, these are our opinionsand feelings about the show.
You might have a different viewand uh, so that's number one.
Number two I would love to hearfrom you about the show.
(44:02):
What are your thoughts, whatare your feelings?
And number three is we aretaking a break during Ramadan.
Inshallah, dedicate some timefor Ibadah.
It's a short month.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
And to relax our brains and to plan for I don't
know.
I guess we could call it seasontwo.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
No, let's not do that .
No, that sounds a bitpretentious.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
But, however, it is worth mentioning that,
alhamdulillah, we are hittingone year.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
Yeah, so actually this episode is 51, which means
next one 52, that would make ita full year.
Speaker 2 (44:37):
Oh, which is going to be next month?
Speaker 1 (44:38):
Which is going to be next month Exactly, so yeah,
we're one episode away fromhitting one full year, yeah.
Honestly, when we started, wedidn't think we can go more than
, I don't know, two months orthree months.
Yeah, we didn't think we can gomore than I don't know two
months or three months, yeah,but uh, the stories we kept
hearing, the uh interviews, wekept uh doing with uh clients
and just experiences and expertsand listening to you guys as
(45:00):
well, it just provided us withmore motivation and uh more
insight.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
Alhamdulillah the ball kept rolling and's all.
Speaker 1 (45:07):
Thanks to you guys for listening and downloading
and supporting us.
If you need a break betweenlike I don't know your prayers
and reading the Quran and likeiftar parties and stuff, or
you're just waiting for iftar.
Or you're just waiting.
Exactly, you got 15 minutes tokill.
You have no brain energy.
Speaker 2 (45:26):
Actually you should be doing dhikr during that time.
Okay, not listening to us.
Okay, I'll be fair.
Speaker 1 (45:30):
Okay, you are right, if you, if you need a break
during the day, uh, you'rewelcome to go back to the
episodes you missed or youskipped and listen to them,
download them, and I guess wewill see you after ramadan.
Ramadan, mubarak, everyone, wewill see you in a month all
right assalamu alaikum.
Assalamu alaikum, I'm Hiba.
And I'm Zaid, you're listeningto Diary of a Matchmaker.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
A podcast that will take you into our world as
matchmakers.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
We'll share our experiences and offer advice for
the single Muslim.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
So let's dive in.
Bismillah, assalamu alaikumeveryone, welcome to another
episode.
My name is Zaid and on theother mic is my wife and co-host
Hiba.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Assalamu alaikum.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
We are excited for today's episode.
I mean, we're always excited Ofcourse.
But today is a little differentbecause we're doing something
that we've never done before,which is reviewing a show.
I never thought I'd bereviewing a TV show ever in my
life.
Yeah, I mean we're wearing thecritical glasses today, right,
(00:46):
um, but we finally got done witha show that's streaming on hulu
and disney plus.
Um, it's a show that's gettinga lot of attention across
instagram and it's called muslimmatchmaker.
So, of course, naturally, youcan tell that this caught our
eye because we are matchmakers.
Of course, so we were verycurious to dive into this show
(01:08):
and see what is their process.
Are they any different orsimilar to the way we do?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
our work.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
And maybe we could learn something.
That was our intention going tothe show, right?
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yeah, actually I was excited when I heard of it and
saw the trailer.
I'm like, oh wow, finallyMuslim representation on TV and
it looked nice.
The trailer is so nice.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah, not just that, but the matchmakers themselves
wear hijab.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Actually one of them, so their names are Huda and
Yasmin.
And Yasmin we actually met inperson a few months ago.
There was a fundraiser forhuman appeal human appeal um
raising funds for gaza, and shewas one of the.
They had three comedians,stand-up comedians.
She was one of them.
Her bet was really nice.
She talked about the fact thatshe's a lawyer, she's divorced
(01:57):
and her experience with herparents.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
It was really nice yeah, so a lot of it was
relationship-based.
But yeah, we we enjoyed it alot.
But you know, we talked to herafter and she didn't mention
she's a matchmaker, which isvery surprising because now we
saw the show we were like and ittook me a minute I'm like that
lady looks familiar.
We had to look her up and Iremembered.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Yeah that this is yasmin the comedian.
Would have been a greatconversation to have yeah, um,
so talking about the show.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Yeah, so talking about the show.
So a quick summary of what theshow is.
It's pretty much what's in thetitle Two Muslim matchmakers in
the States matching Muslims,setting them up on dates and
providing some guidance andmentoring throughout the process
.
And in the show you see themjumping on video calls, checking
(02:43):
in on them, which is a bitsimilar to how we do our work,
but there's also a lot ofdifferences which we'll get into
in a bit.
So we have four criteria onwhich we want to evaluate the
show.
The first one is number one isit Islamically aligned?
The second one is the level ofinformation that the show
(03:05):
provided, because I wanted toput myself in the shoes of a
non-Muslim and as a non-Muslim,am I getting sufficient
information about Islam and theworld of Muslims in the West or
not?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
At the end of the day , it's not a da'wah show, right.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
It's not.
It's not, but when you watch ashow, you're unintentionally
looking to learn something.
Yeah right, I gave you theexample of dope sick, which is
an amazing oh, my god, if youhaven't watched it, go watch it.
Yeah, so this after ramadanthough, yeah um, if you haven't
seen dope sick it's.
It takes you into the world ofpharmaceutical, the
(03:42):
pharmaceutical industry and uh,and how drug reps work and and
all of that stuff, even thoughit is dramatized, but it really
takes you into that world yeah,the role of pharma and the uh
opiate uh problem.
Yes, so when you're watching ashow, you are being transported
into this world and you want tosee what is this world like?
(04:04):
Right, that's kind of the jobof of a producer, director and
stuff like that same thing withhouse md right point number
three, um, the overall packagingand aesthetics of the show.
Uh, the music, the, the, thelighting, everything.
Now we're not producers or youknow uh people in the
entertainment industry, but asan audience member, we can at
(04:26):
least give some sort of feedbackas to what we felt.
And four, and this one's veryimportant originality.
All right, and we're going totalk a lot about that, and of
course, we're going to talk alittle bit about Indian
matchmaker.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Wink wink, wink wink.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
So oh yeah, and each point we're going gonna give a
rating from zero to ten and thengive an average at the end.
Yeah, so where do we startabout?
Speaker 1 (04:52):
can we start with originality please?
Speaker 2 (04:55):
all right all right, let's start with originality, so
you would.
I'm gonna let you lead this one, because I feel like your blood
was boiling because you weretalking so much about this one
topic.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Okay, Okay.
So a disclaimer from thebeginning we're happy for Huda
and Yasmeen.
It's great to find a finallyMuslim representation on TV.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
like we said, yes, we're trying to be objective.
We're not just bashing the showfor the sake of bashing.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
You gave it away that we're bashing.
Okay, so we're not bashing theshow.
We're giving, like you said,our unbiased well it is biased
somehow.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
We're trying to be objective.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
We're trying to be objective yeah and we might be
completely off.
So if you disagree with us, ifyou love the show, by all means
originality.
So anyone who's watched uhindian matchmaker would feel
that this is an exact copycat ofit, like starting with the
colors they use, the fonts, thelike things about production.
(05:52):
Like, for example, when theyask the client what are you
looking for?
What are your deal-breakers?
The way it's written on thescreen, it's exactly like Indian
matchmaker.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
And even to add to that like even when they cut
back and forth between the dateand the interview, it was just
like Indian Matchmaker.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Like the matchmaker is sitting in a room and they're
interviewing them, gettingtheir feedback, and then they're
cutting back to the date.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
The filming is exactly the same.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Exactly as if the producers were the same.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Maybe Actually we should have checked.
Maybe actually we should havechecked.
Maybe it's the same producerseven though Indian Matchmaker
was on Netflix, but even the waythe title is written Muslim
Matchmakers it's the exact sameway like Indian Matchmakers same
color, same font.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
It's actually singular Muslim Matchmaker Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Like, honestly, if there were no hijabs and if
there were no ladies wearing thehijab, you wouldn't be able to
tell that this is a Muslim showor this is a show about Muslims.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
So, in terms of originality, I want to talk a
lot about the dialogue and theconversations the clients had
with the matchmakers and evenwith friends and family, and it
just felt like, and we were onthe same page about this.
It just felt like, and we wereon the same page about this.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
It just felt like a lot of islamic language quote
unquote was inserted yeah, likecompletely out of context, like
there's this guy who's likemaking a dish with his mom uh,
not rehan, what's his name?
Um?
Speaker 2 (07:18):
was it rehan?
Speaker 1 (07:19):
no, not rehan the noreen's date.
What's his name?
Yeah, fahim so he was cookingwith his mom and he's asking her
, oh, is this chicken halal?
And his mom, like they'reMuslims, their mom is wearing
the hijab and it's just like youwould never ask your mom if the
chicken is halal some phrasesthat all the clients mentioned
(07:42):
my halal to haram ratio, whichwe're going to talk about it
more.
Uh, under the how islamicallyaligned the show is.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
But it's like that phrase made me cringe so much
every time I heard it, and itwas repeated, so it was repeated
.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
So it sounded like we might be wrong.
But to us it sounded likethey're being fed some lines,
some information.
I don't know yeah in terms ofproduction, like, uh, the whole
I don't know the ambience, themusic that was used is so much
resembled the way that theindian matchmaker was done right
(08:15):
the music.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Like you said, um or before, before we started
filming, we were talking aboutthe show.
That would have been nice ifthey used some rude, some arab
music some pakistani music yeah,like something that would be a
reflection of the culture, yeah,um, of the of the clients right
, exactly, and there weremalaysian people there there was
(08:36):
um.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
I can't remember that they were arabs and daisies
aflani.
Aflani is uh african africanAfrican, african American.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Yeah, so it was all just western music it was pop.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
So much pop culture show but, you know that we're
gonna discuss more underinformation information.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Yeah, and the last thing I wanna say is that there
were clips of clients praying inthe show, which is great.
I'm not against that, but itdoesn't.
It didn't seem like it servedthe show.
It didn't flow.
It didn't flow yeah.
Yeah, that it just felt it wasinserted and that the producers
or whoever was running the showwanted to insert that in to say,
(09:18):
oh, here, these are Muslimspraying and.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Okay, so how much would you give it?
On originality Originality.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
the only reason I could put it on the scoreboard
is just due to the reason thatit's a new concept.
It's the first time this hasbeen done, so maybe give it a
two.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Okay, I think I would give it the same number.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Two Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
So let's write it down, because we're going to
calculate later.
Yes, so let's write it down,because we're gonna calculate
later.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yes, so let's say two .
Okay, um, let's talk aboutislamic alignment.
So there's a lot to say hereand naturally, we were comparing
this to our own service.
Now, I don't want to gloat myown service, but I can't help to
think that what we do for ourclients and this is coming from
(10:09):
a place of sincerity, not tobrag, but I genuinely feel like
we do more for our clients thanwhat the matchmakers were doing
for their clients here.
And we'll explain exactly how,because we've talked about this
in previous episodes, what ourprocess is.
But we can kind of roughly gothrough it again.
So in the show show, theirprocess is um, they, they find a
(10:32):
match for their client and, uh,they, in many cases they set
them up on a blind date,completely blind, completely
blind, and they don't know whothey're going to meet, what the
guy looks like, what the girllooks like, core values,
expectations marital status.
Marital status nothing and um,and they're not even meeting up
(10:54):
for like dinner or coffee.
Actually, some of the dateswere, but I believe majority of
them were activities based yeahgo-karting bowling, flying,
flying.
Oh yeah, that was one becauseone of the guys had a pilot
license.
Yeah, and unfortunately, manyof them, many of the double
dates did not go well.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Actually, except for Fahim and Noreen, all of them
ended up like not working out.
Yeah, I think you're right andwe don't know actually what
happened later with Noreen andFahim.
I really hope they got married.
They're so cute.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Yeah, that would be nice.
So him, I really hope they gotmarried.
They're so cute.
Yeah, that would be nice.
Yeah, um, so number one, Igotta state the obvious in islam
we do not date, so, however, wedo court.
Now, what are the parametersand the guidelines behind
courting?
It's very basic right.
The wali is aware.
(11:47):
What else?
Speaker 1 (11:49):
You're not alone at an enclosed area.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Correct.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
No touching.
Like in some cases there washugging, they were hugging.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Oh yeah, and then some handshaking.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Handshaking.
Okay, handshaking.
I mean I'm not going to make abig deal about that, but hugging
just didn't sit well with me.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Yeah, what else?
Of course, you're meeting withthe sole intention of marriage.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
That's what they all were doing.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
One of them.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Okay, we're going to talk about Omar.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
We'll talk about Omar in a second.
But yeah, you know what?
Let's just talk about Omarright now.
So there was a match Mariam andOmar in there and they got set
up.
I believe it was a blind dateand lo and behold, I think it
was on the second or third date.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
The second, the second date, yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Omar reveals that he was looking to date for at least
a year, maybe be engaged foranother year then, um, and then
have kids and then get me.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Oh, he didn't want to talk to her father before two
years.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yes, yes, and then get married and then have kids a
few years later five yearslater five years later or
something like that.
Now mariam just looked at her,looked at him and said straight
to his face so you want me tohave kids at 36?
Speaker 1 (13:08):
and there was this awkward silence and he's like
yeah, oh yeah, he said yeah, andthen like there was just, she
just had this look and that wasthe, the straw that broke the
camel's back yeah, yeah, becausein the first date there they
looked great together, they hadchemistry and which we're going
to talk more about, thisemotional connection, um, but
yeah, it wasn't until the seconddate that so, had the
(13:31):
matchmakers done their jobproperly, they would have known
that this person is looking toget married soon and she's
serious, and the other person islooking to date for a long time
and then get married after godknows how many years, most
importantly as a matchmaker.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
I would not set up those two exactly so had they
done their work right, their jobright.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Oh, this reminds me of another thing, just taking it
back to originality.
So their first date, omar andMaryam's first date it was a
furniture store.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Oh yeah, appliance store, appliance store, yeah,
yeah, this is exactly how theydid it in Indian Matchmaker.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
There was line store.
Yeah, this is exactly how theydid it in indian matchmaker.
There was a date I think it wasmaybe nadia or something, I
can't remember.
Uh, her first date with hermatch was at a furniture store
wow, yeah, so they copied thatyeah come on like it's so
obvious anyone who's watchedindian matchmaker yeah, that's
disappointing, that'sdisappointing.
Okay, so we were talking abouthow islamically aligned it is
(14:30):
yes.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
So number one you're when you are meeting somebody.
You're meeting somebody for thepurpose and intention of
marriage, so you're not going towaste time talking about food,
about the weather, things likethat.
You're going to come preparedwith important questions that
are going to form the foundationof a potential marriage.
That's the same guidance wegive all of our clients before
(14:53):
we schedule a double date.
And uh, yeah, we have apre-date call and a post-date
call and uh, and it's veryimportant, they come with this
uh, intention and knowledge.
But we didn't see any of thatin the show yeah, like one guy
guidance or anything like that.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Like, uh, speaking of blind dates, one guy um forgot
his name.
He was so surprised when helearned from his match on the
first date that she's divorcee.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Oh, poor yasmin.
I remember the girl's name.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Oh, she's the most beautiful girl I've seen, very,
very pretty Mashallah mashallah.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
So yeah, she went through an unfortunate divorce.
Yeah.
And then when she mentionedthat she was divorced he was
shocked the guy just had thislook and it's just like the
Mariam and Omar situation.
It could have easily beenprevented.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Oh, and he also said that he messaged her, texted her
God, that's so awful.
He messaged her, texted her God, that's so awful.
He messaged her after that date.
Oh, you're not physically mytype, so had he been coached, he
would know that this is not theway you speak to a lady, I
think.
Or had he seen her picturebefore, he would have known that
(16:06):
she's not his type and he wouldhave spared her this.
I don't know.
What do you call it?
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Heartache, heartache.
Yeah, if there's one thing I'velearned, alhamdulillah, doing
this work, is that to not takecommon sense for granted.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
You have a friend who says common sense is a rare
what?
Speaker 2 (16:28):
No one of my co-workers says common sense is
a rare what.
No one of my co-workers sayscommon sense is a superpower,
because she always sees teachersdoing stupid things, but
regardless, um, but yeah,sometimes guys just, and even
girls actually, it's more sowith guys in my experience yeah,
yeah just don't know what tosay and what not to say.
You don't set up a double datethinking that they have the
(16:50):
right tools, like, for example,when we do our service, when we
put them on a double date numberone.
We're with them the entire timeand we sit with them in the
beginning because we knowthere's going to be tension,
awkwardness, nervousness, all ofthat stuff.
So we sit with them.
We have our specificallydesigned ice breakers and only
(17:11):
after we can gauge that they arecomfortable, then we put them
in a separate breakout room or,if it's in person, we'll go to
another table and if they needmore time, then we'll sit with
them more, because the goal isto make them feel comfortable,
because only when they'recomfortable then they're going
to open up to each other yeahand.
But the other important part ofthis is that we have activities.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
We don't just let them exactly just you know
figure out their conversationsyeah we have activities, so they
have tools to rely on todiffuse that awkwardness and
these questions and activitieshelp them to learn from the
beginning if there's somethingto work with here or if this
person is completely wrong forthem.
But even before the date, thedouble date, we tell them about
(17:55):
the other person over a videocall.
Tell them about their corevalues, their circumstances.
They see a picture, they see avideo introduction.
And how did we learn that blinddates is a recipe for disaster?
We learned it by a trial anderror.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
So yeah, we did our first.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Yeah, go ahead our first uh matrimonial event, we
decided we want to set up sevenguys with seven girls,
completely blind.
But after we went through theirforms and we saw some level of
compatibility, we set them up.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Yes, so each person was carefully screened.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Yeah, how successful was that?
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Well, we thought we had one successful match, but
then, months later, we found outthat it fell apart.
So bottom line 0%, yeah, but Idon't want to draw a conclusion
just from that one badexperience that blind dates are
a bad thing.
Well, that experience and alsothe show you saw from the show
yes, the important thing is that, as a matchmaker, you have a
duty to screen, assesscompatibility and make sure that
(19:00):
the people you are setting upare compatible on multiple
levels, not just on thesuperficial aspects, but on the
deeper parts too, Core values,lifestyle expectations, things
like that.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
I think we went completely off track.
We were talking about howIslamically aligned this is, and
now we're talking about theprocess itself.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
That's fine.
Okay, I just want to let thisall out.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Yeah, okay, one thing in this how Islamically aligned
this?
This is this phrase.
They kept repeating what's yourhalal to haram ratio?
I know what is this like.
How much haram are you willingto tolerate, or how much haram
do you do compared to you?
Speaker 2 (19:40):
the halal like yeah and, like I want to take into
account that not everybody isthis cookie cutter Muslim.
Right, muslims vary across thespectrum.
You have your Muslims that don'tdress modestly, which we saw in
the show, and you have yourhijabis, which we also saw in
the show.
So I guess in that sense theydid try to give a representation
(20:03):
of different Muslims in theWest.
So I'm not going to say thatthe show should have only used
Muslims that fit into that moldof a perfect Muslim, because
that would be doing an injusticeto the Muslims in the West.
So in that sense I guess theshow did do a fair
(20:24):
representation.
But, however, I felt that thedesigners of the show, the
producers, they should have hada muslim producer to show that,
even though you know there aremuslims engaging in haram, what
does islam say about what isallowed and what is not allowed?
Because, as a non-muslimwatching this show, you
(20:46):
naturally are going to absorband learn about this world of
islam, right, and you don't wantthe non-muslim to take away
from this and think that certainharam things are acceptable in
islam, because hey, I see thesemuslims on the show doing these
things yeah and it's okay to dothose things.
Just because muslims are doingthese things doesn't mean it's
okay in islam yeah they're justin a different spectrum.
(21:07):
They're at a differentspiritual level yeah and they
may be trying to improve or gaina closer connection to allah.
Am I making?
Sense, or am I just yeah, yeah,yeah, I feel like that they
should have been a part of theshow, right like an educational
aspect hey, if you have a storyto tell, we'd love to have you
(21:29):
on here.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
you'll find a safe space of listeners who can
understand what you're goingthrough.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
So what stood out to us when we were thinking about
our service is that we have asupervision element to our
double dates.
We never leave the clientsalone.
We didn't see that in the show.
Now let's talk a little aboutwe talked about actually already
Islamic courting right.
Now, had the show revealed that,oh, this girl is getting
(22:05):
permission from her wali, or shespoke to her dad, her dad's
aware that she's meeting a guy,then okay, that's good.
They're meeting in a publicplace.
The wali is aware they'reobviously meeting for the
intention of marriage.
There's no hand-holding, it'snot a private place,
everything's good.
But none of that was apparentto us in the show and as the
(22:25):
matchmakers, they should havebeen supervising the double
dates, but they didn't.
In one case, huda was justspying on them from her car and
then calling Yasmeen saying hey,I'm watching them right now in
a creepy way and it looks likeit's going great.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
It's not Islamically aligned, but I don't think they
were chaperoning the other datesbecause they were happening in
different states yes, and theyweren't flying from one place to
another.
I think they flew only like onceor twice or something.
But from what it looked itdidn't like it wasn't chaperone.
Because, yeah, one uh clientsaid to her on the phone we
(23:03):
stayed out late and then yasminwas like oh, like somehow trying
to say that's not right becausehe's not going to take you
seriously or something.
Instead, of course, she shouldhave said that that's haram, you
shouldn't be staying out latewith the guy.
So this tells you that there isno element of chaperoning.
Now somebody could hear thisand say we don't live in an like
(23:26):
an idealistic world.
Right, we don't live in anidealistic world.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Right, we don't live in Saudi or the Middle East.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
No, not even that, like you just said, you have
your religious people who willnot go out alone and stuff, and
you have maybe a big portion ofMuslims in the West.
This is the reality.
They date, they go out and thisis not a da'wah show.
This is just a show to show youreality.
Right, it's a reality show,fair enough.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
But as a non-muslim watching this, I'm going to see
this as a representation ofislam exactly that's problematic
exactly, yeah and so it'simportant that the educational
element or aspect was somehowweaved into the show.
Yeah, so showing somehowthrough the matchmakers
obviously I mean the practicingmuslims that this is what islam
(24:13):
teaches and this is the realityof what we have here in the west
and as matchmakers.
This is what we struggle with,and we have to somehow find a
way to balance that yeah, and toand to walk that tightrope,
yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Like you know, when I watched Indian Matchmaker I got
a very good look andunderstanding of how Desi
culture works, their habits, howthey get married.
The parental involvement, likeit, gives you a really good
understanding of the culture.
I mean, you're Desi, you wouldknow right, right Well.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
I mean it was more reflective of the culture.
I mean you're desi, you wouldknow.
Right right, well.
I mean it was more reflectiveof, like, hindu culture.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
But I mean there is some overlap because it's
incontinent, yeah yeah, but no,what I was trying to say is
indian matchmaker gives you goodinformation, gives you good
quality information about theculture and the point is that,
as an outsider, you came in andyou learned something, exactly
but but somebody watching Muslimmatchmaker.
They wouldn't okay.
So how is this different fromlike Western culture and how
(25:12):
people get matched right?
Speaker 2 (25:14):
And the funny thing is talking about that.
The advice that we kept hearingis very much what non-Muslims
would give their friends.
Right.
It didn't seem like there wasany sort of Islamic alignment
with the advice.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
For example, maryam was going too fast with Omar and
the advice that Yasmeen gaveher was like no slow down, you
shouldn't go too fast, and theadvice it felt so general and so
Western and this emotionalconnection and all of that like
(25:48):
a lot of mention aboutdeveloping an emotional
connection.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
That's just a western thing.
What?
Speaker 1 (25:52):
about values?
What about expectations?
Like there was no mention ofthat yeah, I mean to be fair.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Yasmin did say so in their rule of three.
You go on three days and youhave a list of I think is it 300
questions uh, 11 categories, Idon't know how many questions
and I don't know why they didn'telaborate on that, because
that's important, exactly, butthere wasn't much elaboration on
that, on what the questions are.
We got a few of the questionsduring those dates, um, but they
(26:23):
didn't.
The questions didn't seem to govery deep.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
No scenario-based questions the clients honestly
did say that the questions weregreat.
They wouldn't have thought toask these questions themselves.
So there's a lot we didn't seethat wasn't caught on camera.
So maybe the questions aregreat, we don't know.
But this rule of three, I don'tlike it.
(26:49):
Like there was I remember thisum, which girl there was a match
?
Like the girl, it was soobvious umnia, umnia and felani.
Yeah, it was so obvious fromthe first date that this is not
a good match.
Felani was so excited and stuff, but umnia was.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
She was giving him the death stare, remember yes,
and you know I was so annoyed atFulani because he would always
show up late yeah for the datesor not for the days for the
calls yeah and um.
And then what ended uphappening and this is a hundred
percent at the fault of thematchmakers poor fulani flew in
(27:27):
to meet umnia and he got stoodup.
He waited there for hours andthen umnia called him saying oh,
after like maybe five hourslater messaged him no, called
him yeah or he called her and uh, she said yeah, I just got uh
done with dinner with my friends.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Yeah and uh and that was it like she stood him up so
the thing is, it was obviousfrom the first date that this is
not a good match.
And uh, omnia expressed this tothe matchmaker, but she kept,
she pushed her, she pushed herand uh, like it was meant to be
a disaster, like, why wastethree months if you know from
(28:05):
the beginning this is not a goodmatch?
I'm not attracted to them.
Why waste three months of yourtime and their time, exactly?
Speaker 2 (28:11):
and with our service, we input a lot of focus and
energy into preparing for thatone meeting, because in that one
, yes, it's like three hourmeeting, but in that one meeting
you can assess enough toconsider moving forward with
this person Right, like as wecoach our clients.
(28:32):
Like the purpose of thismeeting is to see if there is a
foundation.
Right, to see if there iscommon expectations, values,
goals.
Yeah.
And from that you can buildupon for the purpose of marriage
.
Yeah.
And you don't need three datesto do that Over three months,
over three months.
It's such a waste of time.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
You know what it just occurred to me right now Same
way.
I don't mean to be boastful oranything, I'm just thinking
about our double dates.
So, out of all the double dateswe had, it's either they went
great and the couple got married, or big portion of them
majority of them didn't go greatand they told us after the
(29:12):
meeting that no, this is not agood match.
I don't see a future with thisperson, which meant that the
double date did its job, thequestions did their job, and
there was just a minority ofdates where the match said, yes,
I want to pursue this, and thenit didn't work out and they
came back to us.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
And in those cases when it didn't work out, it was
because of very silly reasons,like in one case, the guy and
the girl just didn't follow up.
There was no communication.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
So what I'm trying to say is, like you said, why
prolong the suffering, right?
So the date was the questionswe provided in the activities.
They helped them assess fromthe beginning that this is going
to be great and they gotmarried, or that, no, this is
not a good match.
And they didn't get married,they didn't continue this and
they didn't waste their time.
(30:01):
Yeah.
Yeah, right, yeah, okay, time.
Yeah, yeah, right, yeah, okay,no, I I just realized this for,
uh, now for the first time,honestly, that it's a minority
of dates, that they said yes andit didn't work out yeah, now
that I think I'm trying to thinkof specific cases, but you're
right yeah and um, and I didn'trealize that, like, that's a
(30:23):
different way of looking at it,because even if the double dates
weren't successful, they weresuccessful in the fact that they
serve their purpose.
Exactly, yeah, I didn't thinkabout that.
Okay, makes me feel good aboutmy service, alhamdulillah, okay.
So how much would you rate itin terms of how Islamically
aligned it is?
Speaker 2 (30:41):
How Islamically aligned it is.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
I would have to say zero.
No, come on, it's not like theywere drinking alcohol on the
show.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
Okay, okay, fair enough.
I mean they were.
They did say inshallah a fewtimes and okay, so I'll give it
a one.
No, really, I mean they lose alot of points because of the
sole fact that they're dating.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Okay, I would give it four, like less than a half.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Why four?
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Because at the end of the day, it's not like they did
anything haram on the show.
Like clear haram in your face.
There were some Islamicreferences okay they were
wearing hijabs, some of themokay which goes under Islamic
(31:37):
references.
So yeah, I would give it fourokay.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
I think I can go with a four.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Then, now that we can find the middle ground, if
you're not convinced, threethink I can go with a four.
Then now that we find them, wecan find the middle ground if
you're not convinced three.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
I'm gonna go with three okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
So between three and four, that's three and a half
three point five okay, good, uh,information.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
We talked, we already covered that uh, yeah yeah, we
covered that
Speaker 1 (32:04):
about information um, I okay, I don't know if this
falls under information or not,but I just have to mention it
because it made my blood boil.
Why the hell was therestarbucks coffee and coca-cola
on the show, when everybodyknows like by now it's like
(32:26):
common knowledge that these twocompanies are genocide
supporters?
Yeah, and it's not like thisshow was recorded and filmed
like three years ago, like thegenocide's been going on for 16
months now, if not more, true,true, and I mean, I am guilty of
getting a brownie fromstarbucks.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Pre-genocide, okay, um, pre-genocide, we were all
guilty of getting a brownie fromStarbucks pre-genocide, okay,
pre-genocide.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
We were all guilty of that.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
We were all guilty Because we tried looking up when
this was filmed and produced.
So if it was pre-genocide, thenI guess you guys can get
somewhat of a pass.
But there is no pass if it'spost-October 7th 2023.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Seriously, seriously Like.
This is a Muslim show.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Yeah, that is very, very disappointing.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
So yeah, that's not under information, I guess.
But yeah, Maybe I don't know,Maybe.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
But yeah, as I mentioned before, I was just
very disappointed to not get theIslamic perspective on marriage
, on courting, like, of courseI'm not looking for a fiqh class
, but just a basic understandingwhere, like, a non-Muslim can
come in and say this is adifferent way of getting married
(33:41):
that is working for Muslims.
That is unique.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
That eliminates all sorts of fahisha yeah, right,
like lewdness, yeah, like for anon-muslim to come out of this
show and say, oh, I didn't knowthis about muslims, I didn't
know this about islam.
So how much would you rate itfor information?
Speaker 2 (34:01):
so they talked about istikharah.
They talked about um, what else?
I mean, we saw people praying,some people wearing hijab.
So in terms of information, I'dgive it a four yeah, I'd say
the same thing four.
Okay, so let's talk packagingum okay, can I talk?
(34:22):
You don't need permission.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
No, because this is like the show is cute.
Honestly, anyone, any girl, whosaw the show, they would say
it's super cute I hate that wordlike you've ruined the word for
me it is super cute.
Um, yeah, it's the colors theyuse, like the comedy.
Yasmin, of course, she's astand-up comedian, so that
(34:46):
energy shined through the show.
She was so much fun to watch.
What else?
What else?
Yeah, just the overall likefilming of the show and
production, it was nice.
Besides the point that it's notexactly Islamically relevant,
but it was nice to watch.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
It was nice, but it was hard to overlook the fact
that it was exactly like indianmatchmaker.
You know, like you said, the,the line, the, the font, the,
the way the interviews were doneso it's hard to think about
packaging while at the same timenot comparing.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
Not just comparing, but not keeping that in mind
that it's a copycat actually, wejust saw that one of the
executive producers of this showis the same one on indian
matchmaker yeah, and she has ahindu name, okay, so maybe they
were trying.
Maybe that's actuallyintentional, because people have
seen indian matchmaker, theyknow it, they love it, so they
(35:47):
wanted to just take the saferway and present something that
people are familiar with.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Maybe, maybe.
That's another conversation foranother day and I could talk
about that for hours.
Actually, I just made thiscomment before we started
filming, that it feels like thequality of TV or the bar is just
dropping like we were justreading like reviews on what is
(36:16):
it called imbd no indb no.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
I okay, you just say it imdb imdb yes okay, okay.
We were watching readingreviews and people were like 10
out of 10.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
This is amazing, this is I think there were all 10.
There must have been at leastfour or five reviews, and I
believe there were all 10 I'mlike are you serious?
Like come on man, this is no,this is entertainment.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
This is at the end of the day.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
It's entertainment, yes, but there's entertainment,
and then there's goodentertainment right Like
entertainment that informs you,enlightens you, that really
transports you into a new worldand teaches you something.
I didn't get that, maybebecause I'm Muslim and I know
these things thing.
(37:06):
I didn't get that, yeah right,maybe because I'm muslim and I
know these things.
But like, if I was to putmyself in the shoes of a
non-muslim and just see this forthe first time, I wouldn't like
you said, I wouldn't see adifference much of a difference.
Yeah, it's just the added bonusof seeing hijab and people
praying and saying inshallah.
That's it?
Speaker 1 (37:20):
yeah, I guess.
Well, we'll have to hear from anon-muslim If there are any
non-Muslims out there listeningto this show?
First of all, thank you.
We're very honored that you'relistening to us.
Second of all, we'd love toknow what you thought of the
show as a non-Muslim.
Do you think it gave you Idon't know a clear picture or
(37:41):
taught you new information aboutMuslims and Islam?
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Even as a Muslim, I just felt like this this is an
islamic because I like to befair.
I grew up in a veryconservative environment I went
to a private islamic school.
I went to a mother's house fortwo years, so my worldview was
very different.
Um, so I have to take that intoconsideration.
But I would have just loved tosee and I said this before and
(38:07):
I'll say it again an educationalelement to the show, just
teaching people the very basicsof Muslim courting, marriage,
how unique it is, how differentit is, maybe even as to go as
far as an imam just beinginterviewed for one or two
(38:28):
minutes just saying what are theconditions of a nikah.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
That would have been great, honestly.
That would have been beautifulto see and I didn't get that.
What do you think the reactionof a scholar or a sheikh
watching this show?
Speaker 2 (38:41):
He wouldn't get past the first two minutes.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
You think so?
Speaker 2 (38:44):
He would turn.
I guarantee you any respectablescholar would not get past the
first two minutes.
You think so he would turn.
I guarantee you any respectablescholar would not get past
maybe five minutes.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
I would really love to hear some of the scholars
feedback or reaction to thisshow, or because, at the end of
the day, like you said, it'sentertainment.
They're not claiming to bedoing any da'wah, or it's just
entertainment, yeah or it's justentertainment.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Good entertainment, I guess I guess I guess um.
So how much would you rate itin terms of um overall
production and packaging?
Speaker 2 (39:15):
um on its own, trying to take out indian matchmaker
and just look at it as its ownthing.
Um, it was nice.
It was clear I could heareverything I was able to, um,
connect the stories andeverything, so I I'd give it
like maybe a six.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
Okay, yeah yeah sure same, okay, so let's average
these numbers out okay, uh, waita six and we have four six plus
four plus 3.5 plus two dividedby four is 3.8.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
Wow okay that's our score for the show, ladies and
gentlemen, okay, so.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
I have a question for you.
If a producer came to you andoffered you this opportunity to
have your own show, they'repaying you great money, it's
going to be great promotion forour service and the show is
going to come out just like aMuslim matchmaker, meaning
they're not doing haram thingsthere's no like premarital sex
(40:29):
or anything God forbid but thereare things that are not exactly
in line with Islam.
What would you do?
Speaker 2 (40:36):
Idealistically speaking, I would say no Because
, at the end of the day, I feeland this isn't to belittle the
work of Huda and Yasmeen but Ifeel that the show was not an
accurate representation ofIslamic courtship and the
(40:59):
Islamic way of getting to know aspouse.
So if a producer wanted me todo it just like that, I would
say no, as hard as it sounds,and it's easy for me to say that
because I don't have a milliondollar offer in front of me
right now.
So, yes, sounds, and it's easyfor me to say that because I
don't have a million dollaroffer in front of me right now.
So, yes, it is very easy for meto say that.
But, like I said,idealistically speaking, uh, I
would.
I would say no because I'm notgoing to compromise on my
(41:22):
religious values.
At the end of the day, howwould you feel?
Speaker 1 (41:26):
I think I would try as much as I can to pressure the
producers.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Of course I do the same.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
Yeah, to have it the way it should be.
But honestly, I would love totell you that, yeah, for sure I
will refuse, but I'm not sure.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Well, yeah, I mean, if you got a million plus offer
to do that and you know, at theend of the the day it's not
necessarily haram, but I mean itkind of, is it kind?
Speaker 1 (41:53):
of, isn't, though, at the end of the day, I mean they
are dating on the show.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
So you do not date.
Speaker 1 (41:59):
Dating is haram yeah so but I guess, what about um
this thought that they aremeeting muslims where they are
right now, like they're notchanging.
They're trying to help themwhere they are right now.
So, instead of turning, turningthem down and say, no, I don't
want to work with someone likeyou, at least let's do the best
(42:21):
we can with the circumstancethat's the tricky thing how do
you help muslims withoutcompromising on islamic values?
Speaker 2 (42:29):
right there is one thing the Prophet would always
meet Muslims where they were.
He would see companionsdrinking, companions that would
come up to him talking aboutpremarital sex.
It's nothing new.
But at the same time, theProphet never compromised on
(42:49):
religion itself for the sake ofinviting people to Islam.
So, similarly speaking, youdon't compromise on Islam itself
for the sake of helping people,even if it's for marriage.
I think that's just my opinion.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Yeah, because it feels like they're enabling
wrong behaviors.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
Right, yeah because it feels like they're enabling
wrong behaviors, right, I guess?
I don't know.
I mean, they're not encouragingthem to have premarital sex.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
They're not encouraging them.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
They're not setting up dates at the club or at bars
or anything like that, so there,is that aspect?
Speaker 1 (43:24):
It's a gray area, it is a very gray area but.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
I don't know I'm more on the conservative side.
I think now that I think moreabout this because of my
upbringing and the environmentthat I've been brought up in.
Other people might feeldifferent, but that's just how I
feel about it.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
First of all, like we mentioned before, we have
nothing against Yasmin and Huda.
Actually, we don't know Huda.
We met Yasmin and we absolutelyadored her.
I'm sure she doesn't rememberus though probably she doesn't
but uh, these are our opinionsand feelings about the show.
You might have a different viewand uh, so that's number one.
Number two I would love to hearfrom you about the show.
(44:02):
What are your thoughts, whatare your feelings?
And number three is we aretaking a break during Ramadan.
Inshallah, dedicate some timefor Ibadah.
It's a short month.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
And to relax our brains and to plan for I don't
know.
I guess we could call it seasontwo.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
No, let's not do that .
No, that sounds a bitpretentious.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
But, however, it is worth mentioning that,
alhamdulillah, we are hittingone year.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
Yeah, so actually this episode is 51, which means
next one 52, that would make ita full year.
Speaker 2 (44:37):
Oh, which is going to be next month?
Speaker 1 (44:38):
Which is going to be next month Exactly, so yeah,
we're one episode away fromhitting one full year, yeah.
Honestly, when we started, wedidn't think we can go more than
, I don't know, two months orthree months.
Yeah, we didn't think we can gomore than I don't know two
months or three months, yeah,but uh, the stories we kept
hearing, the uh interviews, wekept uh doing with uh clients
and just experiences and expertsand listening to you guys as
(45:00):
well, it just provided us withmore motivation and uh more
insight.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
Alhamdulillah the ball kept rolling and's all.
Speaker 1 (45:07):
Thanks to you guys for listening and downloading
and supporting us.
If you need a break betweenlike I don't know your prayers
and reading the Quran and likeiftar parties and stuff, or
you're just waiting for iftar.
Or you're just waiting.
Exactly, you got 15 minutes tokill.
You have no brain energy.
Speaker 2 (45:26):
Actually you should be doing dhikr during that time.
Okay, not listening to us.
Okay, I'll be fair.
Speaker 1 (45:30):
Okay, you are right, if you, if you need a break
during the day, uh, you'rewelcome to go back to the
episodes you missed or youskipped and listen to them,
download them, and I guess wewill see you after ramadan.
Ramadan, mubarak, everyone, wewill see you in a month all
right assalamu alaikum.
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