Grieving the Living: Church Hurt Edition

Church hurt is one of the deepest wounds a person can experience because it comes from a place that was supposed to be safe, healing, and rooted in love. When that trust is broken—whether through betrayal, hypocrisy, manipulation, or exclusion—it can shake not only your faith in people but sometimes even your faith in God.

Grieving church hurt is real, and it’s necessary. It’s okay to acknowledge the pain. It’s okay to admit that what happened to you wasn’t right. Too often, people are told to just "pray about it" or "forgive and move on," but healing doesn’t work like that. Just like any other form of grief, church hurt requires processing, time, and sometimes even distance from the place or people who caused the harm.

You might go through stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance. Maybe you’ve wrestled with the idea of walking away from church altogether, or maybe you’ve questioned if you even belong in the body of Christ. Let me tell you this: God is not the same as the people who misrepresented Him. His love remains, even when people fail.

So how do we grieve and heal? We start by acknowledging the hurt, not suppressing it. We set boundaries where they’re needed. We allow ourselves to unlearn toxic theology that kept us bound in cycles of shame and guilt. And most importantly, we lean into God, who sees the hurt even when others dismiss it. Healing is possible, but it begins with giving yourself permission to grieve.

If you’ve been hurt by the church, I want you to know—you’re not alone, and your pain is valid. But healing? Healing is also real, and it’s available to you.

Grab ya bud! Grab ya liquor- it’s time…