Unlock Success & Happiness Through Your Body

Episode Transcript
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(00:02):
Well, welcome back to this episode of Did She Really Say
That? I am your host, Katrina Vanette
Houston, and I'm super excited for our conversation that we're
having here today because you know me, I like to find women
that are bold, daring and doing something differently.
And for those of you, you know, I loved that time and
productivity. The Creator Planner is now on

(00:22):
sale. This is a new look at how women
are redefining success through their natural ebb and flow that
they experience every month in every season.
So welcome to this one. Because this ties right into
really what Kelly's going to share with us.
She, you know, she's a, she's a people person, person foremost,
and she moves peoples and ideas.She's the embodiment of a joy

(00:44):
strategist, which I think is fantastic.
I want to be a joy strategist, Kelly.
Like, I just really want to likeborrow that from you or take
that. She's an interdisciplinary
artist. I knew I was going to trip over
that word. And she's an educator working in
performance, film and non fiction.
Really what I love about this conversation with Kelly that
we're going to have today is shegenerates movement, dialogue and

(01:05):
joy. Joy to build collaboration and
with relationships with businesses, education systems,
communities, groups and individuals.
She's highly decorated. She's got a lot of accolades
behind her we'll probably talk about, but she is the principal
of the movement and artistic director of the Body Wise Dance,

(01:27):
which we're probably going to dive into a little bit.
Also. Kelly yes.
Sounds like a plan. So yeah, I'm super excited for
this conversation. Thank you for being a yes to be
here and dive into this with you.
Thank you so much for having me on.
I'm humbled and delighted. And that intro I should just

(01:50):
have tattooed on me anytime I feel a little down and be like,
no, you've done stuff. You have you've done things,
you've created things, you're a mother, you're a, you know,
wife. You're, you're in this world and
you're doing an extraordinary thing.
So thank you for that. And this is your opportunity to
share that with, you know, our audience and have this

(02:11):
conversation and let them know, like why and how you got into
this business. I started my consulting firm
called the Movement Movement wayback in 2015 when I was also
still performing and directing adifferent dance company.
And I was building both simultaneously and getting

(02:35):
experience in the consulting world, working with nonprofits
and for profits and all the people in all the places and.
Had. The great fortune of a 10 year
contract with the GEICO Corporation that really taught
me everything about how to work with completely different types
of people, different age groups,different levels of experience,

(03:00):
all in the same room, working towards a similar goal under
very tight time pressure. And that's really similar to
building a performing arts show.And so I realized, oh, my skills
as a performing artist and a creative person absolutely
translate to the goals and needsof business and community

(03:24):
groups. And that's how it started.
And it's just been on an upward trajectory since then.
I wish I could say in a linear way, but it never is.
That is such BS. In this world, there's nothing
linear, especially how women build business.
Looking like I wouldn't have it any other way and looking

(03:45):
forward I hope it's more interesting than a straight
line. So yeah.
Well, that's one thing I, I justwant to kind of touch upon what
you just said. You know that your skills have
been transferable like so many times.
We think that the skill set thatwe learn in a corporate job or
the skill set that we learn as aparent even doesn't necessarily
translate to the world of business, but it really does.

(04:05):
It's all about relationships at the end of the day.
Would you agree? Absolutely.
It's about relationships. It's about being able to be your
most authentic self in any spacein your day and in your life.
And that's really the sweet spotthat the joy has brought in my
life. Focusing on joy and focusing on

(04:28):
building it as a discipline and fight.
For me, joy is the result of an audaciously and radical
responsible life. And it sounds really unsexy
though. No, it sounds honestly.
But but it's true. But what's crazy, Kelly, is that
when I hear that as a woman, I want that in my life.

(04:49):
Yes. It doesn't mean boring.
It means choiceful. That actively choosing everyday,
actively choosing who I'm engaging with, actively choosing
where I'm putting my energy, actively choosing what kind of
parent I want to be today, what kind of wife I want to be, which
client am I focusing my attention on so that they can

(05:10):
have all of me. And the other side of that is
that means I have to get really good at saying no and be
confident with it. And also no is my yes.
We heard this the other day, an orgasmic yes, an audacious yes,
a a full bodied yes. And so my work centers on that,

(05:31):
just that bringing your whole self into all of your thinking
and all of your decisions and leaving the body behind, but
filling that space where mind and body need to connect.
And I find when they're not connected, there's they're
suffering and anxiety. Well, and there is and you'll
see that especially as like I'vecontinued to talk with women.

(05:52):
I know you continue to talk withmen and women, but there is a
disconnect for US women. Like I experienced that.
I remember when I hit like my kind of the whole, I guess
orgasmics, burnout. I'll just use that word because
it was, it was so complete, likeit was literally an obliviation
of, of everything, like who I was, what I was doing.

(06:14):
It was like I, it was like that a total implosion of it all.
And I was like, I can't, this isn't the way I feel life,
right? And this wasn't bringing me joy.
It was a more of A to do list. So I think when you talk about
audacious and I think we talk about joyful, I think that is
something I hear so many women say.
That's what I want. I want joy back in my life.
And we do. We are trained in this.

(06:36):
We've talked about this previously in our meet and
greet. We're analytical.
We get all up in here. And this is the very centric
gentleman masculine movement. And I felt so disconnected from
my body. Like I looked down and I was
like, wait, what? Like this is also part of my
experience of life. It wasn't just thinking through

(06:56):
everything was experiencing it, feeling it movement and body
meant. And I think when and I love when
you say like you're the it's themovement movement.
Like yes. Well, and part of part of the
ethos behind it is living and embodying and practicing what I
preach. And so I feel like a Co learner

(07:19):
in every room I step into, whether I'm facilitating a board
meeting or facilitating an equity team at a school or
working with accountants, whoever I'm working with in that
moment, or just a one-on-one person, it's, I'm Co learning
with them and listening and understanding, Oh, you know, am,

(07:39):
am I, am I living what I'm saying to them?
And if not, I need, I need to get right back in alignment.
And my, my favorite phrase is begin again.
Begin again. If it's not working, begin
again. If I fell off my intention,
begin again. And there's something about
being an, an adult in this worldwhere everything is on the

(08:01):
screen and on video and feels like it's performative.
We forget that we need to learn by repeating like as a dancer,
we as a human, we learn in play and repetition and variation on
a theme like, you know, screwingit up, but knowing that we need

(08:22):
to try it again because it's actually the right idea.
Just because it didn't go well one time doesn't mean it's not
correct. And then, you know, maybe after
a few times, if it's wrong, varyit up, see if there's another
way in. But I, I think we've, there's a,
there's a pool to be curious. And I think it's, for me,
curiosity in action, like curiosity is like a scientist

(08:45):
testing that hypothesis, but with your whole self.
And as women, we store so much energy in our bodies.
And if we're not working with our body and moving that energy
through, we're we're not even giving ourselves or our clients
or anyone we're in relationship with the opportunity to have the

(09:07):
best of us. And I think that's part of the
responsibility is, you know, taking care of yourself and
being in relationship with yourself before we try to be in
relationship with other. And it's a constant beginning.
Again, it's a constant restart. It is, it's always beginning
again. I and I think when I was

(09:28):
listening to you, you know, I'vebeen in dance in and out for
most of my life either, whether as a child I was in ballet, tap
and jazz, and then as an adult Igot into ballroom and I just
remember having that conversation was.
I was just clapping for you, yeah.
I just remember too, when I was working in the gyms and I was
doing all these like Spartan races and everything else I

(09:49):
said, you know what I really just want to do?
I just want to dance. I just want to move in my body
in a way that is learning about who I am and learning how I, you
know, have a relationship with my partner.
And not a sexual relationship, but like an actual, like a real
friendship, a partnership. Communicating in the nonverbal

(10:10):
and the verbal and relearning that as as an adult.
Because I think there's a sense that we experience it as
children. And then we kind of shove it
down and push it down and bury it down.
And then, you know, when I stepped into ballroom dancing, I
was, there's still a little bit of hesitancy even today about
being fully expressed, but it's that movement.

(10:32):
It's just trusting the body and just being blissfully and
joyfully in the moment. We're we're so vulnerable as
adults. The moment we, we mentioned that
this is going to be an embodied practice or a movement
experience or a dance thing, especially, I think the word

(10:52):
dance for adults, they hear it and they picture something
really specific in their mind and it's definitely not them.
And if I could, you know, chiselaway at that with every tool in
my toolbox, I, I will, I mean, that's part of my mission and
part of what's, what's in the book.
I, I just wrote a book called Your Embodied Life, a field

(11:14):
Guide to Joy and it's in presales now wherever books are
sold, but officially out March 24th.
And I'm excited for this to get into people's hands as a way to
build just that intimate one-on-one relationship with the
body and connecting mind and body, but also with dance.
It's a primary practice for me is to, you know, at its simplest

(11:38):
form, just turn on a song that makes you want to wiggle and
commit to just moving your body for the entirety of the song.
No judgement, No, I, I want to look like this or any, any of
what it might look like, but just how does it feel?
And what is it to commit to one song and just move, move for the

(11:58):
one song and let dance be that simple.
And you know, I, I, there's so much research behind why she
would, why we should all be dancing, but at its basic level
to, to experience being present with yourself and having fun
with yourself, releasing whatever tension and, and

(12:21):
whatever is built up and, and letting it go.
But from a, you know, medical standpoint, dance is the best
preventative medicine for early onset dementia and Alzheimer's.
And, you know, better than any other field tested, clinically
devised study dance is the number one.

(12:44):
And so, like, from a medical perspective, we should literally
all be dancing every day, all the time.
You know, it's vulnerable and itfeels risky.
So I think the work is to strip,strip any of that feeling of
insecurity away and hard. Yeah.
'Cause it does, it does feel like it is vulnerable.

(13:08):
It is a sense of being judged. Because I think that's one
thing. And I think there's a lot of,
especially for women in the audience, you know, you might
have like experienced body shaming or just a discontent
with your own body. Like certain things you don't
like. You sit there and you look in
the mirror and you're like, well, I don't like this.
I don't like that. And I think what you're doing
with the movement, movement and what you're, you're bringing to

(13:30):
the world is like, stop that. Like really embrace who you are,
like everything about you. And that I think is women is one
of the beautiful things. That's why I brought you on this
podcast. Did she really say that?
It's because I think you all ladies need to hear this, that
it's OK to dance. It's OK to get out there and

(13:51):
just move your body. That is the essence of feminine
energy is movement in so many ways and.
This world is telling us to be smaller.
We're we're constantly told to drink.
We're constantly told to conformto to a smaller vessel, to take
up less space to to just confineand contain yourselves to fit

(14:18):
somebody else's expectations andas a whole societies.
And it does doesn't serve us. You know, my, my question is,
who does that serve? It's certainly not any of us.
And, and I just one of the, the exercises in the book is, is
just that to expand to like the biggest shape you can make, as

(14:41):
silly as it feels, just stay in that big, big, big shape.
Then move around the room as bigas you can.
Just feel what it is to take up space.
And then add in the idea of moving around the room in this
big expanded shape, taking up all the space you can with

(15:02):
power, with authority, with cousins, with joy, with
audacity, with expectation, withall of those things that we're
we're constantly made to feel like we should strip away and
make smaller. And then when you go back to a
smaller space, it doesn't feel so small.

(15:27):
Oh. It's you.
You still contain the vastness of of taking up the bigger
space. OK, so for those of you that are
listening to this and that are not watching what just happened,
I'm going to recreate this because there was even over here
with me, Kelly. Like I just like, oh, like I sat
up straighter afterwards. So Kelly raised her arms as she

(15:49):
was talking about taking up space and taking up space in the
room. So I mirrored that.
So I took up space and I took upthe space that I'm in.
I filled the room with who I wasand then I started pushing at
the doors, the windows a little bit, right?
And so she was talking about this.
Both of us have our hands raised.
We're like just feeling this. And then you talk about taking
in that power and then coming back into yourself and you're

(16:12):
just sitting back in your seat and you're getting present to
that. You realize that space you still
hold. And that was like, for me, it
was like beautiful. So I invite all my listeners.
You know, you're going to feel like the need to not do this in
public, but I would say go take up the space.
Go into a room in your house, gointo a bathroom.
If you're at work or wherever you're listening to or even in

(16:34):
your car, raise one of your hands, get that one on steering
wheel, but fill the space and really feel yourself empowered
in that and that. That's in the book, right?
Absolutely, absolutely. OK, So many more, so you.
Know you have to get the book just for at least for that part
because that was beautiful. Like even in that few seconds,

(16:57):
less than 6060 seconds or so that we were in there, that for
me was even transformative on myside.
So thank you for that. Exactly.
Oh, you, you are welcome and, and thank you for allowing us
the space to do that together. I think that's part of building
trust with yourself is also being able to share it with
others in your community that you trust.

(17:19):
And, and it's, it's really vitalto being able to then get to
expressing things that are even more real and more maybe
challenging and difficult with comfort and confidence because
you're, you know how you feel about it, you know how you feel
in your own self. And if something feels off, you

(17:41):
know, we talk about the gut instinct.
And as women, we're so keyed into that.
And, and if we're not, I invite you to, to dive back in.
And it's something I think that is really precious.
And, and the more we can build awareness of what, of how
something is landing with us and, and follow it and, and

(18:02):
trust it, it, it gets stronger. And I don't know about you, but
anytime I've gone against my gutinstinct, I have regretted it.
And yeah, yeah, yeah. In real ways.
And, and I, I feel like this is empowering in a way of just
building that awareness that if something doesn't feel right in

(18:24):
the gut, you're going to know itand, and be able to choose more
wisely. You said something about feeling
like you were taller in your spine and and you were sitting
up a little bit more. And I think just on the most
basic level, we are right now because of the way work is often

(18:44):
hunched over a computer. Then in our relaxed time, we're
like, I call it Netflix body, where we're just like in a
letter C with our spine, that invitation to just expand and
extend and hold yourself up. Just the information we take in
visually in in peripheral visionand what like just literal data

(19:08):
coming into our world when our field of vision is open wider
and we're taking in more oxygen and expanded lung space, just
that basic biological thing. We're more visually open to
people approaching us, and we'reliterally more open and
oxygenated to make better choices.

(19:30):
And, and I think that's part of like we talk about there's like
in this world of marketing, we talk about like attraction
marketing and that type of thing.
But that is you as a woman beingembodied at your full power and
standing up straight that that literally is the most attractive
space you can be in. You will attract more into your
life, money, health, relationships, communications,

(19:54):
being a mother the moment you embody who you are in that power
and not trying to be everything for everybody, but really truly
be your true self. And I know you're a mom.
So how do you embody this in motherhood?
Oh that is a great question. Mostly I apply.

(20:17):
I have a whole section of philosophy around choosing what
lens we're engaging with the world through, whether it be
curiosity, observation, or judgement, not switching through
those. So with my kids, I really try to
key into observation and curiosity rather than

(20:39):
changement, especially when theydo something that might be
misbehavior or outside the bounds of what I expect or what
I would like them to be doing and, you know, get curious about
it. Why are they doing this?
What's going on? Is this actually developmentally

(21:01):
appropriate? And I just don't like it and,
and come at it from that space. And I wish I could claim
perfection at this. I mean, I screw up everyday.
My kids will definitely tell youthat.
And it creates that little bit of buffer between my internal

(21:22):
reaction and the chosen response.
So what's what's going on? And you know, we really, my
partner and I, we try so hard tokeep our household on and
joyful. I'm a huge believer in Stevie
Wonder dance parties, especiallyat about 5:00 PM when

(21:45):
everybody's grumpy and it's, youknow, dinner is not ready yet in
our house, but but everybody's alittle hangry and we're getting
short with each other and it just feels chaotic.
That time of day is the time to put some music on, whatever that
music is in your household. For me, like, you can never go

(22:05):
wrong with Stevie Wonder. I feel like Stevie could solve
everything. You know, but what you just said
reminded me of something too. When I was growing up, there was
a lot more music on the radio. Like I did grow up in a
household with all of us kids and my parents.
And like the we would, there would be no TV, but the music
would be on and we'd be dancing or cleaning or doing something.

(22:27):
I remember my boom box back in the day, always being on
recording, listening to something.
And I think some of the downsidewith as much as I love the
advanced technology is that we make it all about us and our
music listening, right? And we don't share our music
with anybody. We literally sit there with your
earphones on. We bop to ourselves, but we're

(22:49):
not actually engaging the music,which I think is meant to be an
experience and not just a solo, but an experience with friends
and family and getting to learn,you know, beats and things like
that. And I think we've, we've gotten
to a point where I see it, Kelly, I see it everywhere.
It's like all these kids and allthese people, everybody's just

(23:10):
got earbuds in all the time. And I was like, are you engaged
with anybody outside of your world?
Like, like, I feel like that's also part of what's making us
smaller is that it's so individualized.
We're not experiencing movement and joy through other people.
They're taking ourselves so seriously all the time.

(23:32):
And there's something about whenyou're especially in community
in physical way, and especially if music's on and you're bopping
around and like, you're going tobump into each other, there's
going to be some oops, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to excuse
me. You know, like the, the little
awkward turtle moments that thathappen and that we learn to
recover from that can actually bring us closer rather than

(23:56):
every conflict igniting anger. Yeah, some of those conflicts
and ignite giggles and and I think it creates the opportunity
for conversation and dialogue that can go deeper from a space
of shared common experience and and the opportunity to, you

(24:19):
know, settle in and focus on that music that's either being
played that we're listening to or that we're watching with
someone. And then, you know, for for my
neuro, the virgin friends, it's parallel play.
You think we all benefit from parallel play?
We all benefit from having a thing to focus on that then we

(24:43):
can side connect to each other and say and be in deeper
dialogue about serious and unserious things because we're
having a shared experience with our whole selves together that
isn't about either one of us. Yeah, there's two things that
popped into my head as you were sharing that is there's there's

(25:04):
a grocery store here that alwaysplays like an 80's pop chart,
90's pop chart mix. And I will find myself as I'm
going up and down the aisles, like singing along.
And if I got my card, I'll be dancing a little bit.
And I've had people and I've caught people doing the same
thing, not caught, but like justacknowledged.
And I was like, I know, great song, right?
And we just kind of like we bondin that moment and we share that
kind of like playful experience of, you know, we're shopping,

(25:26):
but we're singing and dancing inthe store.
But I think that was one thing that came up.
And then the other thing, you know, I when I do our retreats,
I always want women dancing. So it's like have a dance party,
right? Like we want you moving,
singing, you know, playing, getting to know different
things. So like that's that is integral
because you're right. When we let loose as like a

(25:47):
group of women and we have some fun that is play at heart.
All right, so I got one questionfor you that I love, my audience
loves. I ask.
So you know, we're all about bold statements and you've said
some pretty bold things so far about movements.
But have you ever been with a client or even a customer and
you've said something and they looked at you and said, did she

(26:08):
just really do that or say that kind of a moment that you can
share with us? There's so many.
That could be a whole another podcast episode.
Got it. OK.
There's a moment in every free engagement when we're getting to

(26:30):
know each other and we're warming up and they say to
everyone, if I ask you to do something with your body that
your body should not do, don't do it.
Make another choice. Adapt it, but be safe with your
body. And then I'll usually pause and

(26:51):
I'll say it's probably good advice in life and everybody
kind of giggles. And if I'm in a corporate
setting, like the HR person getsvery nervous and sweaty and and
then we keep it moving. But there's that moment where
you know what we're doing in this room.
Yes, you, you need to take radical responsibility for your

(27:13):
body in space. I don't know what knee surgery
you've had or recovering from. You know, it's coming from that
place. Like please, but don't if I say
get into a little ball shape on the floor and your knees don't
do that, but. Don't do it.
Yeah, do your version of that. And it sounds so simple, but
sometimes we try to like, overachieve, you know, in silly

(27:35):
moments. So that little reminder that no,
actually you get to choose, thatthis is a space to be choiceful.
You'd also please out there in the wild, be choiceful, be wise
with your body. Yeah.
So that's when that happens pretty much every day.
Over and over again. That's one.

(27:55):
Be choiceful, like I like that phrasing.
Be choiceful, like just be awareof this and embody who you are.
The question I do have, because I know we're getting to the end
of this episode. I can't believe we're like
already there. So how did you come up with the
company name, the movement movement?
Well, I, I believe that when we move together it, it is a

(28:18):
powerful movement and I'm also alove based activist.
So I, I do get out there and create public activations.
In fact, I, I don't know when this is going to air, but the
next one is I'm participating with the Fall of Freedom

(28:38):
nationwide protest and we'll be organizing my third dance
protest since the current occupant of the White House has
been in. So we'll be dancing at the
Kennedy Center in in protest of the current leadership there on
the 22nd of November from 1:00 to 2:30 PM all.

(29:00):
Right. So there's, there's a bit of I
consider all of this work an active love based activism, like
how can we approach all of the work with love?
And I believe when love is served at the table, we can do
the hardest work, we can say thehardest things.

(29:20):
We can get to the real truth, build consensus and change for
common good. Yeah.
And I agree that I think if we come from a space of love and
commitment to humanity, not justto ourselves, not just to our
family, but to the the human experience that we're all going
through, whether we're here stateside or we're

(29:42):
international, wherever, there'sjust an opportunity to serve
from the space of love. And I truly believe movements
and one of the big key things that we don't do, we get very
stuck, very, we sit a lot, we get into our own space.
We're not connecting with people.
And I love with what you're designing.

(30:04):
You're like, no, it's it's movement and community.
It's movement beyond self. It's the experience, the
combined collaboration experience of life love out
there. How many of us have had our best
idea in the shower or on a walk?So true.
I mean, it's, it's windy. I'm a shower genius.

(30:24):
I'm a shower genius. I'm not going to lie, I'm a
shower genius. Everything comes to me in the
shower. But if, if we have that
experience as individuals, not that we should be showering as
groups together, that might not,but we.
Can share that that's what we dowe start to kind of bond but if
we're. Moving together, trying to build

(30:46):
an idea together in the same thing.
We're going to multiply the impact and the possibility for
the next better idea to emerge. I love that.
So the book is your embodied life.
This is coming out in pre sale right now, even at the time of
delivering of this and for thoselistening on the podcast,

(31:06):
definitely get your hands on this.
I think Kelly is really on to something big here and I have
not heard in all of our episodes.
I know we talk about movement aswomen, but I think you're the
first woman I've met that's really bringing this into the
social construct of life, relationships, personal business
and how it just bleeds over intoitself and however it's woven

(31:28):
into the fabrics of our very lives.
Because I love what you said earlier.
You said creativity is not just something you're thinking, and
it's the expressed movement of that creativity.
It's really it's it's not ever enough to just have a great
idea. We have to put it into action.
Yeah. I love this.
Well, I wanted to say thank you so much for everybody that's

(31:50):
listening in the audience. Ladies, you know the deal.
The show notes have everything you need to know about Kelly,
how to connect with her, how to find her.
Definitely follow her on social media.
She's she is. Yeah.
She's the movement queen. I think she needs to own that in
so many ways and and just be proud of the work that you're
doing and the impact you're making.

(32:10):
And thank you for birthing a book.
Thank you. I know it takes something to
bring that into fruition and really let that be an expression
of who you are out in the world.So I know that takes something.
So I acknowledge you for taking that bold leap and putting into
action into movement this and totally embodied your life.

(32:33):
So it's been an absolute pleasure having you on here.
Any funnel words for our audience around the embodied
life and and movement itself? Ignore everyone who's not
walking the path you're trying to and take your arms out wide.
Wrap yourself up in a mighty huglike you are trying to grab your

(32:57):
own shoulder blades. Just give yourself a hug and
acknowledge. Thank yourself for everything
you've were doing today, that you've done in the past, and
that you'll do tomorrow. I love.
It I'd give myself a big hug andI have an arm span of like I

(33:18):
always call it the longest arm span.
It's actually taller than me so I can reach my shoulder blades.
I have that I call the gorilla arms like they are literally
able to reach anything and everything around me.
I love it. So yes, so take up space.
Thank you, Kelly so much for being with us here on Did she

(33:38):
really say that Audience and listeners, I love you all for
joining us. Continue to turn in, plug in,
share out, invite your sisters to listen into these amazing
podcasts, especially here with Kelly.
This episode is one of my favorites.
Definitely get into the show notes, click on those links,
leave a comment, tell Kelly how awesome she is.

(33:59):
And for those of you that are enjoying this, we know we love a
five star rating. Come on, support your.
Sisters in. Business like let's do this.
Stars, yeah. So count stars, give out stars.
I like stars. So thank you again, Kelly, and
for audience, you know the deal.Thank you for joining me with us
on Did she really say that? And we'll see you on the next

(34:21):
episode. Thank you.

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