K-Pop Demon Hunters & The Power of Loving Yourself | ft. Dr. Sulman Aziz Mirza - Different Spectrums Podcast ™️

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Attention Welcome to the Different Spectrums podcast.
We dive into the wild world of mental health discussions.
Get ready for profound talks, a sprinkle of humor and sarcasm,
and a touch of colorful language.
Just a quick heads up, our show reflects our individual
opinions, which may not align with the standpoint of the

(00:21):
podcast, our featured guests, orany related corporate entities.
Our mission? To illuminate through laughter
and satire because everyone needs a good chuckle.
Chill out and don't stress over the small stuff.
Legal troubles? No thank you.
Cancel culture, please spare us.We'd rather keep this space

(00:43):
lawsuit free. So buckle up, have a good time,
and join us as we navigate the vibrant realm of mental health
on the Different Spectrums podcast.
Everybody we back again. Hey, we're back and we're live.

(01:04):
I'm Spencer your Coast. And of course, we have our
licensed clinical therapist, Naz.
Doctor Naz and I got the Skulletgoing today.
You see, they called it. My client said I got a Skullet.
It's just, it's just 'cause you got no top, there's a skull in
it, there's a mullet, it's good.OK, I'm done.

(01:24):
It's sad what bald people have to say for their hair.
It's sad that my client. Has to make up these terms.
I didn't. Make it up, my client told.
Me to make up terms, just to feel like you're part of the
team. You're not.
It's not. You're bald.
Get over it. Alright.
Anyways, remember, don't take ustoo seriously.

(01:45):
Or do completely up to you. There you go.
Also, don't forget to run up those likes for us.
We'd really appreciate it. So our guest for today is a
triple board certified psychiatrist balancing clinical
leadership with pop culture. He also leads mental health
programs at Innova and runs LukuPsych in Virginia, which also

(02:11):
advocates for innovative treatments and breaks down
complex mental health topics with sneaker style flair.
As the Kicks shrink, please welcome Doctor Solomon Marissa.
What's up everybody, glad to be here.
You know, it's funny because like we're talking about not

(02:32):
talking to Nazi being a bald. And that's part of the reason
I've been growing this man by now is because like all my
friends, brother in laws, they all like, you know, booking
those flights to Turkey to get the transplants.
And I was like, oh, I don't knowwhat you guys are talking about.
Wait a minute, I'm I'm too autistic for this?
Did you go to Turkey to get a hair transplant?
No. Your friends.
I. Was like saying you've got all

(02:55):
natural. I'm all natural, like all all my
people's is going bald and they're they're booking the
flights. I'm like, OK, good for you.
Man help me out with this. Why is it that turkeys to place
for hair transplants? Is there a reason why they just
got the hair guys? I don't understand.
Very innovative. They got, yeah, they got the
hair guys and I think they got like a whole package.
They like, pick you up from the airport, they put you up in like

(03:16):
a suite and like they do the operation and they cook you back
up and like, it's a whole package deal apparently.
Jesus from. What I heard these people.
Yeah, from what you heard. From what you heard, I have.
No idea what happened. Let me see your hair, fucker.
Too many, motherfucker. Too many friends been telling me
about this, so I'm like all right, I got I understand what's

(03:36):
happening. Too many friends.
Whatever, Doc, I know that ain'tyour hair.
All my friends, so they all liketo go to Turkey.
Just like all my friends are gay, but not me.
I'm joking. His friends are straight, yeah.
Oh my gosh. Continue.
Oh, OK, so today we are actuallygoing to be doing the movie K

(04:02):
Pop Demon Hunters, as you can see on my on that side.
So this is actually came out this year.
Yeah, which was a global sensation, just like all the K
pop slash anime things that comeout.
It was a global sensation on Netflix.
And so we're going to be talkingabout a few things such as

(04:24):
shame, our scars, as well as finding people.
But you know, they have to be found in the right places,
right? Not now all the time.
People that you get along with are probably going to be the
best for you in the long run. All right.
So we're going to be talking about that.
We're also going to be talking about being able to open up and

(04:45):
able to heal. That's anything before we get
into it. We're going to talk about
multiple different things a lot and the scars and shame and
healing couple big words that stuck out was the the Co
regulation and also understanding that we all have
shit. We all have baggage, we all have
demons, we all have these things, right?

(05:06):
These monsters. Doc's going to hopefully talk
about a few things what he said and, and then we ought, you
know, a lot of people know my, my demons here too.
And I think sometimes even as practitioners, it's OK for
clients to know some of those things that way.
They're like, well, you don't know or, or maybe I'll never
reach you or you're always so much better, right?

(05:28):
It's really hard sometimes with the clients or just people when
they they think that they suck and you see like this
authenticity come out and everyone gets to heal from it.
So excited to have a good talk about healing.
Not going to lie. It's kind of weird that this is
boy bands and you know, in the girly bands.
I don't really understand. But I guess this is the shit
now, Spence. So this is what we're doing,
2025. You like Imagine Dragons?

(05:51):
What the fuck are you talking about?
Say a minute. Imagine Dragons is good.
Imagine some guys are suicidal. Oh.
My God, they're fully on their stages.
Shut the fuck up. Oh, this girly man, the girly
man. This, this.
This episode's for the girlys I'll tell you about.

(06:12):
Chasing those Dragons, son. OK, what do you say?
Is that a metaphor for something?
Maybe it is. That's up to you for your
interpretation, isn't it? It's weed.
Excited to talk about a lot of good stuff.
Doc's going to drop some knowledge on us if you like
today. So they get, they get into it.
Boop, boop, boop, boop. Stuart.

(06:37):
You. Don't say the right thing.
You gotta say woop woop. I'm sorry doc.
Oh my bad. Woop.
There it is. OK there.
It is, he said. Let's do it.
They should call me off guard. Let's.
Do it man. He didn't give me this in the
eye. No, it's fine.
You're supposed to struggle withthat.
You're supposed to. I was a ghost.

(07:15):
I was alone. I told you it's OK given the
throne. I didn't know how to believe I
was a queen, that I'm meant to be.
I lived two sides trying to paint both sides, but I couldn't
find my own place. But now that's how I'm getting

(07:45):
paid. I'm gonna hide it.
Now I'm shining like a buna bee.We're dreaming hard.
We can so far. Now I believe we're going.

(08:08):
Do you see my head bombing? Right now.
Tell us more. About that new single.
Golden. It's the story of us.
It's a song about who we are andwhere we're going next and the.
First live performance is tonight.
It's the beginning of a new chapter for us, for the whole
world, and we're so excited to show you what's next.

(08:35):
Wait so long to break these walls down, to wake up and feel
like me. Put these patterns all in the
past now and finally live like the girl they all see.
No more hiding. I'll be shining like I'm born to

(08:58):
be 'cause we all heard his voices, Strong and I.

(09:20):
Which is so incredible. You OK?
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Let's take it again from the
top. Rumi, are you OK?

(09:47):
Do you need some water? I just need 5:00.
I'm going to take 55. Minutes.
People having. 10. OK, I can handle this.
I'm not having nervous breakdown.
Visualize there's not 10,000 fans at the door screaming and
sounding really scary. Maybe, maybe there's 10,000 fans
at the door screaming. It's sounding really scary.

(10:19):
My voice. No.
No. We are under so strong slaying
demons with our songs. Fix the world and make it right

(10:42):
when. Darkness finally meets the
light. Celine, do hunters kill old
demons? Yes.
So everything that has patterns.Cover those up.
You only have those. Because my dad was a demon.
You're not one of them, Rumi. You're a hunter, just like your

(11:02):
mother was. When the home moon is sealed,
all the demons will be gone fromthis world and so will your
patterns. So these will be gone.
Yes, those will be gone. You always say no, Rumi.
You're so modest. It's just the bath house.
Maybe some other time, you guys go ahead.

(11:25):
Every time. Maybe they'll understand.
No, Rumi, nothing can change until your patterns are gone.

(11:49):
No more hiding now be shining like a bar, a Bay.
Because we are hunters. Voices stronger.
I know, I believe. How am I supposed to fix the

(12:11):
world, fix me when I don't have my voice?
Why now when I'm so close? Why?
Why? Why does the bird wear a tiny?

(12:38):
Hat I made it for the tiger, butthe bird keeps taking it.
So about tomorrow, have you thought about my proposal?
Look, I want to believe in your crazy plan, but I don't think
I'm the one to help you. Actually, you already have.

(13:01):
I spend my whole life keeping the secret, the shame of what I
am. And the more I hid the shame,
the more it grew and grew until it started to destroy the one
thing that gave me a purpose, myvoice.
But since I've met you and the more I talk to you, I don't
understand it, but somehow my voice is healed.

(13:24):
I try to hide, but something broke.
I try to sing, connect the notes.
The words kept catching in my throat.
I try to smile. I was suffocating though.
But here with you, I can finallybreathe.
You say you're no good, but you're good for me.

(13:48):
I've been hoping to change, now I know we can change, but I
won't if you knock on my side. Why does it feel right every
time I let you in? What does it feel like?
I can tell you anything. All the secrets that can mean
trains and all the damage that might make me dangerous.

(14:10):
You got to talk. I guess you're not the only one.
What if we both try fighting what we're running from?
We can't fix it if we never faceit.
What if we find a way to escape it?
We could be free. Time goes by and I lose

(14:41):
perspective. Your hope only hurts, so I just
forget it. But you're breaking through all
the dark of me when I thought that nobody could.
And you're waking up all these parts of me that I thought were
very for good. Between imposter and this
monster, I've been lost inside my head.
Ain't no choice when all these voices keep me pulling the toys
nowhere. It's just easy when I'm with
you. No one sees me the way you do.

(15:02):
I don't trust it, but I want to.I can't call it back too.
Why does it feel right? Somebody let you in?
Why does it feel like I can tellyou anything?
What if we find a way to escape it?
We can be free. Free.

(15:26):
Let the past be the past and it's way.

(15:48):
What if we're here?
It's broken. I try to hide with something.
Bro, I couldn't sing. Will you give me hope?

(16:11):
Let the past be the past till it's weightless.

(16:35):
Rumi, I thought I could fix it all.
Fix me. But I ran out of time.
They saw, they know. There's no denying it now.
This. Is what I am Rumi no.

(16:57):
You knew I was a mistake from the very.
Start do what you should have done a long time ago before I
destroy what I swore to protect,please.

(17:20):
I can't. When we lost your mother, I
swore to protect all that was left of her, but I never thought
that that would be a child like you.
Everything I was taught told me you were wrong, but I made a
promise. So I did my best to accept you

(17:42):
and help you accept me. You told me to cover up, to
hide. Yes, Until we can fix
everything, and we still can, wecan cover those up and put
everything right again. I'll tell Mira and Zoe that it
was all a lie and illusion by Kima to break us apart.
No, no more hiding, no more lies.

(18:03):
Rumi, we can still fix this. Don't you get it?
This is what I am. Look at me.
Why can't you look at me? Why couldn't you love me?
I do love me. This is why we have to hide it.
Our faults and fears must never be seen.
It's the only way to protect. The Hong Moon.

(18:32):
If this is the Hong Moon I'm supposed to protect, I'm.
Glad to see it destroyed. Hey everyone, I'm here to talk
about our new collaborator, Twink Toys.
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(18:55):
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(19:16):
get 10% off your entire order. Today, and we're back again.
We're back and we're live and we're singing the girly pop.
Just got to let me sit in it. You got to sing it.
You got to sing it now. I don't know.

(19:36):
I don't know what it is. I'm not hiding something.
No more hiding. Yeah, no more hiding.
I'll be shining like I'm born to.
Be there it is that that Born toBe gets you, though I ain't.
Going to lie that born to be, that shit that hits you, you're
like my vagina, Yeah. We're.

(20:07):
Going to stay here for a minute.Fucking.
Yeah. It was a vagina.
That'd be the worst thing I could possibly ever imagine.
With my blood pressure medicine.You'd be a ugly ass woman.
Why does that potato have a skirt?
On still have the beard and everything.

(20:28):
Yeah. That'd be the thing.
All right, so like I said, we have our guests today.
Yes. Welcome to the pod.
Welcome to the pod. Thank you.
Yes. Thank you.
Thank you. So for some of our listeners,
could you please give us a little bit of background on
yourself and what brought you here on the pod?

(20:53):
Yeah. So my name is Salman Reza.
I am a triple board certified psychiatrist based out of
Northern Virginia, originally from upstate New York.
Took a little detour to get to where I need to go to.
I initially was going on track to be a dentist.
Then that did not work out, failed out at all.
School came back home crying, you know, in my in my bedroom,

(21:17):
my kids bedroom, you know, home front with my parents being like
what are you doing with your life?
Then I was like, I don't know, got a second chance to go to
Caribbean medical school and fell, you know, did it all right
over there, you know, got into psychiatry and loved it so much
that I became, you know, adult certified, child, adolescent

(21:38):
certified. And then I do addiction medicine
as well. I work with one of the larger
health systems in Northern Virginia through we're doing
like child and adolescent work. Then I have a private practice
as well, working with adults where they do a lot of stuff
with like ADHD, autism and addiction.
Those are my big things with adults.
And then, yeah, my whole contentthing.

(21:59):
I, you know, during, like, everybody else was bored during
the pandemic. My buddy was like a British guy.
He was like, bro, if you go to get on TikTok and you go to
like, stop making mental health videos, and those people are
going to love it. And he was like blowing up.
And he's making a career now narrating true crime stories on
YouTube and killing it. Good for him, you know, but he's
like, you got to start. Yeah, he's, you know, he's on a

(22:22):
porch. So it like people are like, oh,
YouTube money. I was like, oh, YouTube money is
a good thing, you know, So, you know, he's doing all right.
He's doing better than I am sometimes.
But no, he's you know, so he's like, you know, I started doing
some of this stuff. I grew up a nice little
following on TikTok and, you know, branched into all the
other socials and not stop doingsome Tik toking.

(22:42):
Do more of like YouTube is my main gig.
I like to do a blend of like education and entertainment.
See you know try to be down to earth as possible, you know
letting people know that like psychiatrist can be like normal
human beings as well. You know that's part of like my
my shtick as well as I'm a normal human being.
My psychiatry is what I do as a job.
I can dad for kiddos and love movies love professional

(23:05):
wrestling, combat sports and sports all that stuff.
So that's it helps you know I try to see how all these things
can bunt together and make my life pretty fun.
So yeah, nice look at you yeah sneakers kick strength.
The whole thing is sneakers had it's, it's a little falling off
a bit just because of like, you know, I think the, the boom of
the sneakers kind of fell off a little bit.
But yeah, it goes, it's really big during the pandemic, just

(23:27):
like everything during the pandemic was like, oh, start a
YouTube channel, start a podcast, start to like buy
sneakers and buy NFTS and stuff.And I was like, yeah, sure, why
not? So, you know, but like all my
all my childhood fantasies of buying, like all the Jordans and
stuff when he was, I was, you know, alive and driving when
Jordan was at his prime. And my parents, like all good

(23:48):
Pakistani parents were like, no sneakers for you.
You can buy like the LA gear pumps and like, you know, the
fake me out Jordans and that's what you get.
And why were you even thinking about doing sports in general?
Because you should just be studying and reading books.
And yeah, that's how it was. So now, now that I have like
money, I buy buy sneakers, right?

(24:09):
In fact, are you? Are you a millennial or no?
I, I, you know, I get all these things messed up, mixed up.
I was high school class of 2000.So I think that makes me a
Milan. Yeah, you're right on that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know millennials account for
1/3 of all toys sold in America right now.
Yeah, something like that, right?

(24:30):
We're buying all this shit. We're buying it all.
I never. Bought me anything when I was a
chance. You know.
Yeah, I need now. I'm buying the Legos.
I'm buying sneakers and Legos and video games.
What you do? Yeah, only fan subscription.
It's our little secret. It's a shame I'm joking.

(24:53):
My shame. I gotta buy another one.
So the, the the YouTube, is thatthe short form or is that a
little bit longer medium like 10minute?
What's the vibe? Yeah, so the main thing like
people are always like, oh, why aren't you doing TikTok anymore?
Is because TikTok became this whole like attention economy
thing, right? But you've got to like hit them
in like 5 seconds and you've gotto like, say these shocking

(25:15):
statements like SSR is, are the terrible, most terrible things
of all time. And oh, now we're going to watch
your real. But what I always talk about is
like, they can be terrible, but they can also be really
beneficial. So nuance, right?
So, but nuance isn't sexy and itdoesn't get clicks and
engagement and all that stuff. So that's what I started doing

(25:36):
with like YouTube was like, I can sit down and make a video on
a topic for like 10 minutes and I can provide like 3-4, five
different size of the story and give somebody who is watching
something on like Adderall, theycan get a full story versus like
Adderall is just crack cocaine. And you're, if you're putting
your kids on Adderall, you're just making them into the next
Walter White. And I'm just like, oh, these

(25:57):
guys, motherfuckers who's sayingthis?
Oh shit on TikTok all the time. So these are the people that I
was running up and people were tagging me in in all these
posts. And I was like, I can't compete
with these guys with half a million followers who were just
like, you know, RF, you know, sucking off RFK.
You know, it's just, I just wasn't, I wasn't enjoying it
anymore. OK, yeah, there you go.

(26:17):
Shit's toxic man. Yeah, it's it was really bad.
I mean, how do you differentiateyourself when you're making
content? Do you go in just saying like,
I'm not going to catch these like baby things?
I'm mainly going to just stick to the points that I want to do?
What's you like? What is your style when you

(26:39):
usually like to go into making different content?
Yeah, so I like to, you know, I,I spend a lot of time on socials
just like especially like Twitter and stuff.
And I see what people are saying.
I try to find what the people are saying.
So things people like Huberman's, people like Rogan's,
all these other RFK, we say his name.

(27:00):
Those are some of the people like they'll make some claim
it'll be a headline. And you know, they're like, you
know, for example, like I guess RFK around today even was like
we're going to find out what's, you know, we're going to blame
the SSRI's for the school shooting or this term shooting
that just happened. I guess apparently today I'm
just like, why? How are we even going to make
these assumptions and just blameit on this pill where it's like

(27:23):
everything has been shown to notbe all the evidence, all the
research, all the data has like been contrary to what you're
kind of saying over and over again.
But because he can make it into a nice sound bite, you know,
people are going to go to it. And, and the other reason I do
it is because, and I say this when I give like I've given
talks at like the American Psychiatric Association meeting

(27:46):
to like my own hospitals system as well.
Are patients go to social media and the Internet, right?
Our clients go to this stuff. You know, unfortunately in the
healthcare system that we have, we're forced to do quick visits.
We're not able to kind of have like a full sit down and like,
here's everything you should expect with so XY and Z

(28:07):
treatment or XY and Z diagnosis.So or they, we do and patients,
clients still go home and they're going to Google it and
they're going to come across things or they're going to see
things, especially in mental health, right?
Oh, my uncle on Facebook sent methis post or I have a cousin who

(28:27):
sent me a TikTok that said this about this medication.
So we're our patients, our clients are getting their
information misinformation from all aspects of social media.
And a lot of times, I think there was research data showed
like over 50%, like almost 90% of the time it's coming from non

(28:50):
credible sources, just some guy or some influencer or somebody
who's like, you know, just scientists sell like some
supplement and is like, This is why you shouldn't be doing an
antidepressant. But by the way, by, you know,
Lincoln Bio for 20% off the supplement that I'm already
selling you, right? So this is the stuff that we're
unfortunately having to kind of compete with and especially with

(29:13):
coming out of COVID and the pandemic, this whole non trust
of the medical system and non trust of science, the politics
of today that says question everything when it's like, why
question things that have been well established for decades?
And you know, there's reasons wedon't do a lot of these tests
anymore is because we've established beyond the fact that
like these things are what they are.

(29:36):
So not saying that like there's not bad things about the field.
There are things, you know, people take medicine and they
get bad side effects from it. No one's debating those things.
But like, is it is that the onlything that is going to happen to
you if you were to like, for example, take a medication?
No, So the idea is like, you know, take these click BD, rage

(29:56):
BD kind of things that get attention and be like, let's
examine this and let's see what's making people say this
stuff and then what's the reality and then back it up with
evidence, data or research numbers versus just my guy said
this. Real stuff, you said.
I'm sure you've seen Doctor, maybe Spence too.
You've seen Doctor is. You ever watch any of his stuff?

(30:17):
Doctor is. I don't think maybe I might
have, but yeah. You ever heard of Doctor Spence?
No, he does. He like, I love watching his
content. Will he be like someone will say
some wild shit and he's like. Yeah.
Let's come in from my Ted Talk. And then he'll just start going
in. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom. And you're like, damn.
He's like, This is why you shouldn't be watching this shit.

(30:38):
I'm like, OK, I like doctor is Ithink it's is.
I don't know. I'll look, I'll look at it.
It's probably fucking. Bob, I don't know.
It's Doctor is all right. I love that.
And that's mostly on the YouTubethat you're doing that right.
Yeah, OK. Just because it gives like you
know, you're able to kind of flesh it out and and really just
expanding, yeah. So that's that's where the money

(31:00):
is out so. So see, you see like a wide
range of just ages going from youth to teens to adults.
So how do you not only keep authentic with that being in
such different worlds, right? How do you do that?

(31:24):
Thing is just, you know, being me more so than anything else,
right? I and, and the reality is like,
kind of like what I said is I'm a normal human being 1st and
psychiatry is what I do as like a profession.
So when I'm even talking about like, you know, I had like an
intake earlier today for not foran adolescent and the kids

(31:45):
talking about, you know, oh, I was playing GTA and Fortnite and
blah blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, OK, yeah.
And, and I was like, I remember CTA Grand Theft Auto when it was
like the 2D overhead version on like the computers back in the
day. And so I know that my mom was
looking the mom of the kids likelooking at me like, you know
what that is? I was like, yeah.

(32:06):
And you know, so I'm asking the questions like, are you playing
online with the random people? Right.
Like so the, the idea that like,I know what the kids are doing,
right? And so, and then if I'm able to
like ask that question straight,I said being like, what's the
GTA right? Or even taking a step back.
And like I asked about like social media, 'cause I'm on it

(32:27):
and I know what it is. And like parents will be like,
they're using this thing called Snapchat and I don't know how
they're getting drugs sometimes.I'm like, do you know what
Snapchat is for? It's like, it's like, do you
know how people are using Snapchat?
It's like, if you don't know these things, you're you're
behind already, right? So as a clinician who works

(32:48):
primarily with teens and adolescents, kids and
adolescents, like you have to know where all this stuff is
just to be able to talk the language.
Part of it is because like, I'm a big kid end of the day, you
know, I like all the stuff. I still play my video games.
I've been playing video games mywhole life, right?
So I bring that into there. I love movies.
I like I said, love professionalwrestling.

(33:08):
I have a little like memorabiliathat I have in my office that,
you know, get that people are instantly able to have a
connection with a kid. Today saw like all my Avengers
Funko Pops on my window sill in my office and he's like, boom,
we've already made a connection.There's already something that's
there. I'm working when I'm working
with adults, like I talk straight with them, right?

(33:30):
Like I don't use big jargon because I don't like using
jargon sometimes, right? It's annoying.
I. If I can't spell it, don't tell
me that shit. You.
You give me small words, doc. Yeah, and people be saying stuff
like back when I was in school and I was like, what is this?
Oh, I got it. Let me translate it.
Let me make a dump for myself. Remember, I failed out of dental
school. So I.
Have to make a. Well, as before.

(33:52):
You start taking the crack. Oh, pause.
Do you take do you take ADHD medicine or no?
Yeah. So, yeah.
So after, after all this training I started, I was like,
oh, wait, I, you know, halfway through like a first year out of
practice, I was doing all these evaluations and I was like, wait
a second, this all these patients I'm seeing for like
adult ADHD, That's me. I was like, why did I, or why

(34:15):
did I finish my presidency with like a 500 credit score?
I was like, because I couldn't pay a damn bill on time because
I, I, you know, I'd like put on my calendar.
I'd like to write it down somewhere like go sign up for
auto pay, right? And you put in the pile and you
know what happens if you got ADHD and you put something in
the pile, it's gone forever, right?
So that those letters, those bills, like all that stuff,

(34:35):
like, you know, when you're falling behind, you miss things
because you're just stupid, quote UN quote stupid, but it's
just you're being inattentive orparents say they're you're lazy
or this ex whatever else it is. And I was like, was my executive
functioning? So yes, at some point in time I
was like, oh, this is what's happening with me.
This is why, you know, I'm having run into all these

(34:56):
problems where I've had struggles during my life, got
connected with a psychiatrist, got in and was like that start
up. And it's been a game changer.
You know, it's made my life like100 times better since being
able to be like, let's just go straight ahead and think, go for
what I have to do and do it. You know, and I have all, all
the other kind of supports in place, You know, people, it's

(35:18):
not just the medicine, right? It's the supports I have in
place with my wife who yells at me for stuff like love her to
death, but she needs to yell at me for stuff to get stuff done.
And it works, right? You know, I have assistants that
I've hired to kind of give me, you know, from our, from our
private practice to like go through my messages, give me A
to do list, tell me what I need to do, send me the To Do List

(35:40):
and I'll just do it. Boom.
You think I'm going to be like going through emails and phone
calls and somebody give me the stuff I need to do and just tell
me to do it? Give me a checklist.
Boom. There you go, brother.
I, I just got done paying like four or five medical bills the
other day and some other shit and I called A1.
I couldn't fucking pay it because the link didn't work.
And then I had Colin to run the link and then the link didn't

(36:02):
work. And so then, you know, it's been
months now. And I called him fuckers finally
yesterday. I was mad, he says.
We done sent you the collections.
Collections. I haven't sent the collections
in 10-15 years. Yeah, Collections, yeah, this is
what's happening like all the time.
I had stuff in collections for like $10.00 for like an EZ pass
that I missed for like a toll that got missed that like goes
to collections for years, right?And it's like, what the fuck is

(36:23):
this, right? And you know, This is why I
can't buy a house, right? Because of because of stuff like
this. We're.
Not going to get into your demons right now, Doc strikes a
gambling we're not going to get,we're not going to get into your
gambling addiction. Stuff like.
A I can't stop. I can't stop.

(36:47):
Do you find it like, do you findany like different age ranges
easier to work with? Like like you said, you said
you're like a big kid. Do you find it easier to work
with teens? They could be like, or do you
feel like adults are like your your mainstay?
It's it's. They have their own challenges.
Every every age group has their own challenge.

(37:09):
You know, anybody who works withlike doesn't work with children
and adolescents, you know, I'll say this like in the medical
field and they'll they'll all tell you the same reason is like
because I don't want to deal with the parents either, right?
Because they'll say the parents are the hardest people to deal
with when you're working with children, adolescents, I look at
that as like a child and you know, it's own challenge in a

(37:29):
way, you know, because sometimesthey can be the greatest
supports, but they can also be the greatest trauma begars for
these, for these kids. And they can be the greatest
obstacles or they can be the greatest enablers for them,
right. So it's a mixed bag.
I, I like that aspect. I like working with children and
adolescents more. That's why it's my, my main gig.
Why is where I spend like, you know, 80% of my clinical hours

(37:50):
is over there is because I, I like the idea that like, I can
really intervene early and change trajectories of life.
That's the biggest thing. Because like a lot of times with
adults, it's like you're, you know, I hate to say it's like
almost the damage is done in a way.
It's really hard to like unbreak, unlearn a lot of like

(38:10):
habits and strategies and ways of being.
And, you know, with, with children, adolescents, like, I
mean, you see whole lives that are literally just like saved by
the field where like the, the thing that got me into it as
like as a Med student was I seenthis, this kid who had been like
terribly, horrifically, you know, abused right by family

(38:35):
members. All the stuff was terrible.
Then she was ultimately like adopted by this gay couple.
And, you know, by the time I'm seeing her as like a student,
you know, she's having like normal 12 year old girl
problems. And I'm like, you know, reading
through the chart and I'm, you know, can, can I do what's going
to like, Oh my God, if I had this life, like I don't think
I'd ever be able to like go on and live.

(38:57):
But like here she is a second chance on life, getting the help
that she's been supposed to begin doing well And like again,
normal 12 year old girl problems, like you can ask for
anything, anything more than that.
And I was like, that's what sealed the deal for me.
That was like, Oh my God, this, this whole, this whole girl's
life has been changed and saved.You know, I agree with

(39:18):
everything they just said. Love working with that.
You know that I started private practice.
Now I'm going younger and younger and younger because I
get more comfortable. So the youngest, that guy's some
13 year olds, but the, I feel like it's a lot of freshmen 16
year olds. I'm getting stuff like that and
parents are getting in the way of some stuff, right.
And then I'll send a message to the parent, OK, man, you have to
back off your kid. And they give me this long

(39:40):
fucking list of the reasons why they're hard on the kid.
I'm like, I'm just letting you know your kids going to cut you
off in a couple years when I go to college.
You, you can shit off get off. I don't really care what you do.
So that's, that's been difficult.
My biggest joy is working with the kids.
But I tell you, I've had some recent breakthroughs with some
adults and you heal some of themold, old, old trauma ruins.

(40:02):
And then I had someone cry, a grown ass adult, 2 hour crying.
That shit was wild. And I know them for months now
and they finally broke and I'm like, Jesus kid, where's this
been? Oh yeah.
So I think we finally did therapy.
And then I said, I think we finally saved your life.
Now we can start doing real shit.
So those are great moments, but it's tough with adults.
I got a question for you when itcomes to.

(40:26):
Working with folks with addiction, you said some of your
stuff is like working on addiction work.
You know, that's, that's a struggle.
A lot of my addicts are struggling right now.
Alcohol, other drugs, intravenous drugs, shit they get
in the streets, black market. Oh, it's a tough population,
man. There's a lot of recidivism in
that and like relapse and it's, it's tough.
So how, what is your role? Not how do you do What is your

(40:50):
role as a psychiatrist in addiction recovery and
treatment? The biggest thing is really
looking at what works and what doesn't work, you know, lack of
a better term. You know, when I was in training
again in school and even like inpsychiatry residency, in the
training that goes on over there, our substance abuse

(41:11):
rotation was like this throw away rotation, right?
We were working at the VA with the and that was part of our
four week rotation. And when I got married during my
residency and they're like, that's the time that you're
going to get married and that's when you're going to take your
honeymooners tour. We're going to arrange it so
that you can just miss the time because it's what don't worry
about it, right? And they're like, sit in for,

(41:32):
you know, then during the two weeks, they're like sit in for,
you know, an, a, a meeting that they have at the VA and just get
to know the people because they're going to be a revolving
door. And that was kind of like the
approach was like, these people never get better.
And I'm looking at it and I'm just like, there's something
else. There's got to be something
else, right? Because all of the fields of

(41:53):
medicine, you know, they took, they shrug off substance use and
substance use disorders and theythrow it onto psychiatry and
they're like, oh, this is a psych problem.
And even then I was saying that like even with psychiatry, I was
like, we were seeing it as like a throw away thing too.
This thing you just don't worry about or it's a hopeless thing
to do. So the models that were that

(42:16):
were in play go to a, a go to detox center, right?
That was like what you what you're taught, go to a go to
rehab, right? And you'll be all better.
And then you see that's like an over 90 something percent
precision physicism. Like you said, I can't even say
the damn word. A failure, right, right.
It doesn't work. So it doesn't work, right?
And that's why it's a revolving door.
So I started looking into like all these other things to be

(42:37):
like, what can we do to actuallymake a difference, right?
One of the things was with opioid, right?
So this was Suboxone, buprenorphine, and that is a
miracle drug, right? Like that is like over 90% said
90% successful. People get better on it.
And people want to say like, oh,you're just trading 1 opioid for

(42:59):
another. I was like, no, we're, when we
talk about addiction, you know, part of what I do is I, I come
from a harm reduction background, which meaning it's
like, I just don't want people to die from these medications
for these substances, right? I don't, I don't care if they
use it or not. Like you want to use heroin, Go
ahead. Just don't die.
We just don't want you to die. I got a guy selling to you.
Shit, yeah. We just, Yeah.
It's like people say. Yeah, in that dark, he said.

(43:21):
Yeah, Jesus Christ. I mean, but The thing is, The
thing is, The thing is this right is like I, I always kind
of go off on like the harm, harmreduction thing is that like in
regards to like we've had this, you know, I, I, I won a damn
medal in fifth grade for, from Dare for like an essay contest,
right? And Dare's motto was just say
no. And how well has that worked for
anybody? And throughout history doesn't

(43:44):
work, right? Throughout all of human recorded
history, there's been substance use.
There's never been a time where humans have never have not used
substances. So it's there and it's not going
anywhere and it's never, it's not going to go anywhere.
So we have to accept that that like this is part of our lives,

(44:05):
right? This is what people will do.
And if we just tell people all no, and if you use it, it's a
moral failing and you're going to go to hell and that's your
fault and you deserve what happens to you.
Like what happens then, right? But once, you know, white people
in the suburbs start dying during the opioid crisis and
people are like, oh, we have to do something now.

(44:25):
Different discussions occur, right?
And now it's a crisis. And now it's a health epidemic
and emergency and all this stuffthat goes on.
But Suboxone, again, buprenorphine, it's the thing
that saves these people's lives.Like I've seen literally people
come in you, you help them out and like a week later, their
whole, they're functioning in life, they're doing everything

(44:48):
they want to do in their life. And because it's the addiction,
it's all the behaviors that comealong with us to support the
physiological dependence that comes along with substance use.
That's where the problems come from.
So if you knock that out, peopledon't have to be stealing stuff
or robbing people or doing XY and Z illicit stuff to support
their habit, then you're fine. And then then all the problems

(45:11):
kind of go away per SE. I know, I know, it's hard.
I know it's hard to get into them Suboxone doctors too
though, because there's only fewin the state and this and that,
so they don't make it easy to get into them.
Damn doctors. To make it hell easy to like,
you know, prescribe 120 Percocets a month.
But like you try to get into like see a Suboxone Dr. and
it's, it's a huge thing. It is.

(45:32):
So I mean, you can talk about like, I mean, there's, there's a
whole other podcast about like, you know, the stigma that comes
along with treating opioid addiction and alcohol use and
substance addiction in general. You know, that comes along with
that. So I've had, you know, all my
patients, Suboxone patients, they'll tell me like our missus
gives me a dirty look. They'll ask me why I'm picking
this medication up. And it's like, yeah, I'm taking

(45:53):
a medication so I don't have to illicitly use another substance.
You should be applauding me, saythank you for using this instead
of me. And then the next person they'll
hand 300 Percocets to and be like, sure, oh, here you go.
And again, not to say that they're like, those people are
not having legitimate uses for this stuff.
But like, at the same time, it'slike, still, we have to
understand that. Yeah.

(46:14):
So what about them shots, man? You see anyone doing good with
them Alcohol shots? I forgot what they're called.
I got some clients taking those.Oh, there's a trial.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a trial.
Have you seen it because I guessI'm asking these questions
because a lot of folks that are neuro divergent, the comorbidity
with addiction is extremely highright for coping regulation all
that So I got clients are on certain things Suboxone that
Vivitrol. And I've seen it help, but then

(46:36):
also, you know, do they keep going and get the the shot?
Do they keep taking the Suboxoneyou know?
Yeah. And ultimately that's that's
what the idea is like. So what I do for alcohol is
what's called the Sinclair Method, which is the same
medication that's in the shot, the Vivitrol shot.
It's an oral pill. You take it an hour before
drinking. And what it's supposed to do is

(46:57):
interrupt the reward process that comes along from the
alcohol with the idea that if you're motivated to stop
drinking and you learn, you behaviorally learn that like
alcohol is not giving me what I need from it.
It's not giving me pleasure or joy.
I'm not getting anything from it.
Why will I keep drinking? And that's part of the what I

(47:18):
do. And that works 60 to 70% of the
time for people versus again, 90plus failure rate with like go
to AA and detox. And ultimately like all the
stuff with like addiction, substance use is like what is
the underlying cause? Like what is what is the reason
that somebody's using the substance?
Is it depression? Is it anxiety?

(47:40):
Is it underutilated HD? Is it autism?
Is it loneliness? Is it something else that's
contributing to this drama, right?
So if we treat that underlying issue, right, I put people on
stimulant medication for untreated ADHD that they were
self medicating with nicotine and alcohol and cannabis, and
all of a sudden those things drop away to fall down, right?

(48:02):
People don't use these things asmuch, right?
We know this with ADHD people that they start smoking nicotine
at an earlier age and they take the longest to quit, right?
This is the data that's the researchers out there.
They find they get into the things like cannabis and alcohol
earlier and they have a hard, hard time getting away from it.

(48:22):
Bravo, we know this, right? Like that's just how it's the
self soothing that goes along with this.
So if we're able to fill that void with proper treatment,
whatever that is, whether it's medication, whether it's
therapy, whether it's connection, whatever, they're
less likely to use these substances in the first in the
the other parts. I appreciate you.

(48:44):
Thank you. Yeah, my lot of my ADHD folks,
man, it's not even the fucking nicotine anymore, kid.
It's the it's the fidgeting and the oral stimulation.
The fidgeting, right? And they just miss the thing and
the crash outs and the anger that they get after they quit
stopping smoking is nuts. But you know, I've, I've helped
people get off everything, anything, right?

(49:05):
And everybody will tell you the same thing.
Nicotine. Stop.
You know, smoking cigarettes. Nicotine is the hardest to get
off of. I agree.
They all say the same thing. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, she got 4, Spence. I like to ask this question to
most of our guests. Is there like a a film, a book

(49:27):
or a piece of music, any type ofmedia that's just shaped how you
see the world? It's a good question.
I mean, right now the movie we're talking about is really
helpful. I like, you know, I'm, you know,

(49:49):
like I said before, since it wasinteresting because I watched
it, I'd seen 28 years later the night before with my, with my
movie buddy, which is a great movie, Unlike grief and loss and
everything and acceptance of grief and loss and life worth
living and all that fun stuff in, you know, the midst of the

(50:11):
zombie apocalypse and great, youknow, terrible tragedies and
huge losses. Then I watched this the next day
again with my daughter on my couch, my 2 year old daughter,
and it just like again, it blew me away.
So for the last, you know, monthand a half, two months, I've
been just like obsessed, obsessed with this movie in the
soundtrack. It's just very, very positive,

(50:34):
uplifting. And even though we're talking
about demons and shame and all this stuff, like it's about
recovery and hope from this. So I think it's really, really
fantastic. It is basic fan of it.
You said you also wrote an article that's getting published
in the APA. That's pretty awesome.
Yeah, so talking about shame in this movie, like I, I was like,
I've, I've been doing some moviereviews for Americans like yeah,

(50:56):
APA through their newsletter they put out, I've done like for
the Iron Claw about wrestling and about male mental health,
the substance. Talking about addiction.
I did about Thunderbolts as an accurate depiction of like
mental health and bipolar disorder.
It was a cool opportunity. I talked with Paul Jenkins,
actual creator of the Century, the character, the main

(51:18):
character in the Thunderbolts movie.
And we talked about like his background and how he got what
kind of shaped him creating the century character and all the
stuff that came along with that.And I was like, he made a
comical character of a schizophrenia and agoraphobia
and in the film adaptations likebipolar disorder.
But like, yeah, it's, it's it's it was cool opportunity.

(51:39):
So I watched this movie and thenI was like, so it like, get me
some such a level that like I unpromptedly just wrote this
article. I sent it over.
I was like, I wrote this article.
Nobody asked me to do it. But like, you guys going to run
with it? And they're like, yeah, we'll
take. That's.
Fucking awesome, man. That's awesome, Spence.
That's a big deal. To get published in the EPA.
That's a big deal. That's fucking awesome, dude.

(52:01):
Congratulations. And it's something fun.
That you get to do and merge your worlds.
That's, you know, I, I joke around like when I'm talking
with like students and residentsthat I was like, I haven't done
any kind of like scientific research or anything like that.
But the publications that are tomy name are movie reviews to the
APA. Fucking hilarious.
That's my that's my contributions to academia is the

(52:23):
movie reviews that I've written and.
How? Pokémon fucking Netflix.
Yeah. They're going they're going to
be like, what's this guy do? He wrote for K pop demon owners
and this is, but I'm applying for like, you know, directors or
something to be like, what's your research?
I was like, oh, I research K popdemon owners.
Don't worry. What's your publishings?
My God, it's just him dancing. I fucking love it.

(52:48):
Because like one of one of my Instagram followers sent me like
a real like what's it like to bea Kip up Demon Hunter dad?
It's like the first time you're like the first real, like the
guy's in the kitchen. He's like, what is this?
And he's like kind of intrigued.The second time he's like on the
couch and he's bopping along. Third time he's like in the get
up in the outfit and the girly outfit and doing his little
thing. I was like, I I'm not quite

(53:09):
there yet, but like. The third time he's a fucking
Minnesota Vikings cheerleader. I'm sorry.
Oh man. One, coming from a Lions fan I
know your whole city can't even drink water.
That's fine. Let's move on.

(53:29):
Ah gosh, it's terrible there Anywho let's let's talk about the
movie. Why not we?
Got a lot to get into, yeah. Yeah.
So do you want to give us just like brief background movie, Me
and Nas haven't seen the movie, so you know.
Oh man, you guys need to watch it.
You guys should watch it. I'm so scared.
I can't. I watch Inuyasha.

(53:52):
I already know what happens. You know, once you watch that
you're like, I've seen this before.
This yeah. So K pop demon hunters it's a
little background on it. So it was made by Sony Pictures
Animation and Netflix. They collaborated on this they
same pictures animation most well known for doing the across
the spider verse series. So just to kind of give an idea

(54:14):
of like the quality of the movies, the studios that are
producing this, this their latest one, and it's a story
essentially of AK pop group. There's three of them.
Rumi is the leader, Zoe is another one, and Mira is the
other one. Those are the three of them that
they're there. And really in the story they

(54:34):
tell, like there's been generations of these singers of
Korean singers that they they use their voices to protect the
world against demons. So on one side they're pop
stars, right? And then on the other hand, you
know, by day they're pop stars and by night they're demon
hunters. So that's the name K pop demon
hunters. So just the the latest three of

(54:56):
them, latest three of them called Huntrix.
They are about to do what's called sealing the honeymoon,
which will seal the demons into hell forever so that they can no
longer cross into the world and feed off the humans.
But we see is that you're just on the verge of getting there.

(55:17):
Some cracks start to show up. Some problems start to show up.
A secret about Rumi is shown to us and starts to affect how the
group is able to function. The demons come up with a plan
and their plan is to create a rival K pop boy band group demon

(55:37):
group and they're going to stealthe fans of on tricks and this
will destroy the Han moon so that the demons can get into the
world. And it's a story about, I
thought shame and talking about shame and be open about it,
growing and healing from shameful things and shame.
It can be representative of anything and everything that we

(55:59):
want it to be, depending on whatever lens that you take into
the movie. For sure.
And it's like this, you know, wonderful, nice PG movie.
It's totally family friendly. The songs are really good.
Like like you talked in the beginning, the Bobo phenom, it's
just became Netflix most watchedmovie ever.

(56:20):
It was pushed to the point that they had like a sing along
version of the theaters over theweekend because there was so
much pressure to like get into the theaters.
Like so even two months after itwas released, it was still the
number one movie in the in that for the 2 for the weekend
showing. the Billboard charts have like 7 of like the top 10
songs are like from the soundtrack.
Golden has been like the number one song for a couple weeks.

(56:42):
Like they're fast tracking it for Oscars and all that stuff.
So they're talking sequels and all that stuff.
Whole new franchise is coming out of this.
There you go. I know.
This resonated very well. I hit you up to do the podcast
pretty much right when this cameout.
You're like, I'm doing this. I'm like, what the fuck is this?
This assault is a you're like, you haven't seen it yet.

(57:03):
I'm like, no, I haven't seen it yet.
I got a job. It's a joke.
And then my niece got here from San Antonio and she was watching
it like non-stop on replay. So I I know it was hot and it's
been the damn. It's on Netflix's top 10 still
2-3 months later. It's yeah.
So it's like, I mean it's the number I think to Steven today I

(57:24):
was watching real quick. Just give you the timings.
If I was like #2 is keep up Demon hunters and #3 is the sing
along version of it. Oh wow, didn't know that.
OK, there you go. It's like Minecraft.
It's time it's taking over the. World they always live a sing
along versions now that's like the like you know you're doing
well yeah like for a movie if you do a sing along version

(57:46):
that's still on theaters that's crazy.
No, that, that like that they that there was so much fan like
pressure to put it into theater because it it had been on
Netflix for two months. People watching it at home and
then they're like, put this in the theaters, make a song.
Version No joke, no joke, no joke at all, no joke and I.
Had never, I had never seen, I had never really done anything

(58:06):
with keep up at all. I was like, you know, let me
just throw this off for the hellof it on a on a Sunday afternoon
and. Blown away.
That's it. That's the thing I've ever been
is like Psy. That's about it.
Psy, that's that dude can that dude is like amazing.
He perform. His performance looks amazing.
I would definitely go to a show if he ever went out of like

(58:29):
Korea, but yeah. The jokes were that that that
was the last time the the Hanuman was sealed was when
Gangnam Style was big. Whoop no Gangnam Style.
Close I've been to this. Oh my God.
Because it's open. As close as I get to K pop.
And it's like cartoon. All right, let's go to the

(58:51):
scene, man. Well, the first scene we have is
a little bit of a back story slash their you know, they've
just brought out their new song,this K pop group, they brought
their new song and it's all about their past lives or that
maybe even their current and what they're living it with on a

(59:14):
day-to-day basis. And then we see Rumi, who is
part demon. And then as you know, as we keep
on seeing her, those lines that she has keep on showing and
showing and showing, and then itstarts affecting her voice and
what she can say and sing. And now it's now it's like it's

(59:37):
ruining what she thought was like her purpose and the world
was to bring, you know, peace and just but and then we also
get like a a little bit of a flashback of when she was a kid
and how her step mom is pretty much just like.

(59:57):
Cover up. Yeah, don't, don't tell anybody
about this. And it's affecting her life.
So essentially she's masking, right?
Yeah. She's masking, she she's masking
physically, but then also mentally as well, because if she
doesn't, then she's fears that she's going to be seen as like a
freak, a weirdo. And also, I mean, they're demon

(01:00:19):
slayers or demon hunters. So it's like, are they going to
turn on me now? Probably, yeah.
They're going to have to kill me.
Yeah, yeah. So it's like, what do you do
there? And also has the has there been
like a hybrid of like human slash demons in this world?
I don't know. I don't know.

(01:00:40):
These are questions. But I know this is what I was.
Wait a minute, what's that joke?Horrible joke.
I always used to say separate but equal.
So many. Separate but equal.
We're going back to Jim Crow. That's a joke.
It's I'm making that was a joke.I'm in a racism.

(01:01:00):
Joke. I thought you didn't like
certain races. I I don't.
Can't look him in the eyes. It's terrible.
I can't look him in the eyes. I'm one of my clients.
Nas, why do you keep making fun of white girls?
I was like, girl, I love you. Don't stop.
I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about the other
ones. She's like, I don't believe you.
I got to watch what I say because my clients do watch the

(01:01:23):
pod. You know?
You're so mean to white people. I'm like calm down y'all got it
easy. Stop it.
Stop it, Becky. You stop it.
Yeah. I used to have to say that like
my, my patients, everyone will be like, oh, I saw your video
online. I'd be like, Oh my God, I'm so
sorry. I know, I get so nervous.
Please don't tell anybody, Yeah.If it's one of the past ones, uh

(01:01:48):
oh, one of the new ones, that might be good one.
Time it was like you immediatelyyou and your Co host started
talking about penises and I was like oh God we did.
Let's not wait a minute. Wait a minute and Co host and Co
host. Come on now.
Don't don't bring Spencer down. Don't bring Spencer.
Down, yeah. It was just me.
Every time he's just like, wow, I got hit in the face again and

(01:02:10):
you're like, whoa, buddy. It's always weird.
Oh my God, back to the fucking. Scene.
Oh yeah, right. We're doing a pod.
So we really, we're talking about game here, we're talking
about our scars, we're talking about these things we have to
hide from people on a day-to-daybasis in order to keep our

(01:02:35):
friendships, keep our loved onesaround us so we're not seen as
different from people. What made you want to do this
scene and how do you relate it back to some of your clients,
whether they be adults or teens?Yeah, You know, the the scene,

(01:02:56):
you know, we get to start off with Golden.
It is this like, you know, the summer anthem right now, number
one hit in America, in the world.
And it's this triumphant moment for the girls.
This is like they're right on. They're right on the verge of
sealing the honeymoon for good. And there's going to be no more
demons in the world. And it's during this song that

(01:03:17):
we, the audience are first exposed to like, whoa, Rumi's
got the secret here, right? She's showing off her scars.
And for her, it's like, I'm, youknow, once we do this, I'm going
to be able to go to the bath house with my girls because my
scars are going to be gone because we're going to finish
everything up. And so she's like this
anticipation that's there. You know, I'm going to be able

(01:03:37):
to be with her. No, we're hiding.
I'll be shining like I'm born tobe, right?
That's the the lines that are there.
I won't think it this time. No more hiding my my little 2
1/2, my little 2 1/2 year old. She's always like, no, she you
know, someone of the first words.
She's like no more hiding. And I was like, Oh, I know she's

(01:03:58):
stuff. Stuff is my girl.
But she you know, like, you know, she's doing all that.
And that's her moment. And then that's when she starts
to have like the voice breaking,the voice cracking and the lines
starting to pop up, the pattern starting to show up and sitting
there right when she's supposed to be at her best moment, right?
And it happens for a lot of people, right?
That right at the precipice of what could be like their highest

(01:04:21):
moment, something pops up. You know, sports guys, you got
to talk in sports. Like we see it every year with
like NFL draft, you know, like, you know, the night before the
draft, somebody dig some shit upabout them, like an old Twitter
post of them, you know, smoking.And was it Laramie Tunsil?
I think it was like. The the the bomb with like the

(01:04:41):
gas mess. All the stuff that comes up for
this thing that yeah, you know, like all the stuff gets brought
up. We're like old, you know, they
might have dropped like the N bomb and, you know, or used like
these words in a tweet, like when they were like 15 years old
or something like that. And it's like, well, we can't
draft this kid anymore. We all have stuff, right?

(01:05:02):
Ultimately, that's what it is. It's like that we all have
something. We may not have all made racist
remarks on Twitter, but you know, at the same time, we all
have something that I have not. I will say that, but like,
maybe, maybe not who knows. But I don't like the what?
Yeah. But we all got like something

(01:05:23):
going on and and the shame, you know, the patterns represent all
kinds of different things, right?
They can be things like being having autism, things like
having a HD, things like depression, anxiety, being
biracial, multiracial. You know, it's, it's hinted at

(01:05:43):
in the, you know, where the flashback kind of shows that
Rumi's patterns come because herfather is a demon or her father
was a demon. You know, I guess we're assuming
he's been dead because mom is dead and she was raised by
Selene, the old singer. And that can be part of it,
whether it's things like Ediosaurus, whether it's things

(01:06:04):
like being queer, right? Anything along those lines.
And you can even look at it as like scars, like self harm
scars, you know, self injury scars that people will have that
go up at times where maybe we'renot, we don't want them to be
seen. It's sad, man, because not only

(01:06:24):
is she dealing with her own shitand then you got the mom
perpetrating more, but the mom is trying to protect her, but
then also, you know, it furthersher into the Spyro and then she
can't even connect with her homegirls on a real, real level,
right? It stops you from connecting.
And so you kept talking about usin the pre production about
connection, connection healing, healing, community based

(01:06:45):
healing. And we're going to get into in
the next scene here in a second.And this shame or the scar, this
wound, this addiction that my clients do with, or like maybe
their family's crazy because they got, you know, prison abuse
issues, trauma issues, right? Our clients really struggle with
it, man. They'll put off connecting to
people. I've got a lot of clients that

(01:07:07):
got severe medical issues, and that's a hell of a shame, man.
To act normal, to deal with severe chronic pain,
fibromyalgia, back spinal eczema.
Jesus Christ. I just found that eczema.
It's on their head, armpits and their genitals.
I didn't fucking know that. Oh.
Yeah. It's devastating.
Now I know why some of my clients aren't talking to people
and all that just came up. I've been doing this for 12

(01:07:29):
years now. I just found out this is getting
in the way. My clients like being with
people. And those scars are huge, man.
Scars are huge. I know myself thinking that was
stupid, this and that. You talked about dropping or
getting booted from school and having to deal with that shame.
So we'll get towards it towards the end.
But. But you said the family's from

(01:07:51):
Pakistan, right? Yeah, Yeah.
And so. From Pakistan, yeah, they
emigrated over here, you know, by as an engineer, you know, I'm
in retrospect, I can like look and say like probably autistic
on the on the spectrum. You know, my, my mom is a family
physician. She was wanting to do like OB

(01:08:11):
GYN, but like had to kind of getsteered into something else,
which was more family oriented in regards to like not having a
regular surgeon hours of being havoc of more like regular 9:00
to 5:00. So she had to give up part of
her dreams to kind of be like, well, you're going to come over
here to America and you're goingto be a mom.
Well, yeah. But also we need you to like,

(01:08:31):
you know, pay the market and paythe rent and everything.
Be the main breadwinner for the house.
Too, the reason why I bring up that is because a lot of my
international students, Asian from India, Pakistan, they
always say this one word and I circled it.
You didn't say it, but you were trying to say it.
Society, what will they always say?
What will society think? What will society think?
What will society think? And that's when you see you're

(01:08:53):
holding those scars or covering the scars in multiple scenes.
And we'll get to it in the last one.
It's they always say society. I'm like, Jesus Christ, kid, I
mean, in society or you die mentally, physically, what do we
do? And there's a, there's a phrase
that we use in Pakistan, India and Urdu and Hindi, Punjabi,
whatever you want to like the languages Lokiya Kenge, which is

(01:09:15):
what will people say? And it's that's what it always
comes down to is like, what willpeople say if they found out
about this thing, right? What will people say?
My sister married my sister married a white guy, right?
You know, it was a huge, huge, huge thing.
Jesus. Family got over pretty quick,

(01:09:36):
except my dad, right? He's unable to get over it.
You know, this part of the part of the reason, the other
rigidity, the stubbornness that's there.
He's like unable to move on. It being despite like, you know,
our uncle, his older brother, myuncle, his older brother being
like, get over this by now, likeaccept this person into your
life. But like not going to, right?
And the main thing is he says like, what will people say?

(01:09:59):
Despite the fact that everyone has said to him, it's OK, we
accept them and it's fine. It's the thing, right?
And and, and if your immediate family and everyone is Gucci
with it, my God brother, move on.
Who gives a shit about these random people that you grew up
with that you went to high school?
You who cares? But I I get it.
It's. Tough, I've already said.

(01:10:20):
I've already said it's all good.It's all good.
It's wild, man. Yeah.
What's up with this, this secondscene?
This is It starts to get real spicy in these next two scenes,
Spence. Spices.
Spices. Where do we get the emotions?
Level 5 spice right there. It's some hot wings.

(01:10:41):
It's going to fuck my stomach up.
Food, It's going to fuck my stomach up.
I know you are the worst person to do spicy.
I know I can't do it at all anymore.
I can't. Even we can't talk about this
scene because it's too spicy. Might fuck you up.
Bro I can't even hold. On I got to take a shit I.
Can't be BBQ sauce no more man it's fucked up.
That's actually real. What the hell is BBQ?

(01:11:02):
No BBQ sauces man, the medicine.I'm on one of GLP ones right
because my big ass blew up too damn big and everything.
All my numbers are fucked and sonow when I GOP one now if I eat
fucking anything spicy the mayonnaise, I die.
Yeah, I remember you had spicy mustard on a trip.
This was a couple of years. Ago No, that spicy mustard was
crazy. No what?

(01:11:23):
That spicy mustard killed peoplebro.
No that was at Boar's head paws.Also Boar's Head got in trouble
for like all their meat productsbeing like tainted and poisoned.
Not their mustard. That shit was quite poisoned
too, but I was literally shitting my brains out for like
3 days on a road trip. That's why I don't eat lunch
meat. Boy, the lunch meat.
It was mustard. But you.

(01:11:45):
Said the lunch meat. Went bad.
It was bad. It was horrible.
See that's. What I'm?
Saying. It was horrible.
That would be right. It was horrible.
But yeah, no money, Yeah. Anywho, the second spicy scene
Shinu is the last name Chinu Chinu Chinu.

(01:12:07):
So we find that these two are getting together secretly.
What secret? Secret.
Of course, secret. Of course, secret.
They're meet in secret and then Rumi tells him about her secret

(01:12:31):
while he's a demon. They they have a sing along
together. So they're getting along good.
They're getting along good. The problem is here and you
talked about pre production is that sometimes we find people
that we have a understanding with or who we connect with, but
sometimes that connection is a -1 or at least can be, at least

(01:12:55):
can. And it's at least at first it
may seem like it's a +1, you found somebody that you can talk
to that you can relate to, but in some cases you could have it
to where you are. You know, it could be
detrimental to you in the long run of things.
Can you speak a little bit aboutthat and how these relationships

(01:13:17):
like say like you're in like rehab or something like that and
you meet someone that you're, that you feel like you're
connected to because you can bond on those like those
different moments that you've had.
But can you speak on those connections and how maybe those
could be detrimental in the longrun rather than in the short
term? Yeah.

(01:13:38):
And we, you know, part of what Iwas doing before we had some
staffing issues was working out of adolescent partial
hospitalization program. So we get a lot of people who
are like in step downs from likethe inpatient psychiatric unit
that they're coming down over here.
So they're maybe they're spending a couple, you know, a
week or something on the in patient unit.

(01:13:59):
Then a lot of people get steppeddown to our partial program.
So they're spending two to threeweeks over there.
So there's a lot of times that there'll be some people who are
going along for the whole ride together, spending a month with
these people. You're doing like group therapy
with people, you're spending, you know, a long time with
people and you're connecting andyou're talking about the stuff
that's simple with, you know, potentially shameful stuff.

(01:14:24):
That's not your darkest stages, right?
Because nobody's going to the psychiatric hospital on like
when they're doing the best, right?
Like that's not their shining moment of their lives, right?
And we we know this for people, right?
That's part of some of the worstmoments of their lives when
they're being psychiatrically upfor anybody psychiatrically
hospitalized or you're having togo to step down for their.

(01:14:44):
So you're meeting people at thatpoint of your life and their
life as well. And that's not what we say like
necessarily like a true representation of who they are,
right? So that can be there.
And we know also that like, you know, when people are dealing

(01:15:05):
with mental illness, we try not to have them kind of connecting
with each other, right? Because there may be
misinterpretations of feelings, right?
That are there emotions that arethere misrepresentations at
times? And also, again, like, again,
you, you know, the stuff about each other that maybe you
wouldn't want to know about somebody that you're partnering

(01:15:27):
up with. But a lot of times when you're
in that emotionally vulnerable stage, these stages, you're
looking for some connection. And teens, a lot of times teens
who are not as well versed in the love game, misinterpret

(01:15:48):
connection for love or romance. And we're all sorting out these
feelings all the time. And adults too, right?
It's not just teens, but adults definitely do this as well where
they misinterpret feelings or connection as something more
than what it is. But this happens a lot.
And then, you know, you can imagine, like people, they make

(01:16:08):
it together, then they break up,then the stuff gets used against
each other. Well, I knew you did this and I
knew you had this happen to you.And it turns really ugly really
fast. A lot of times when these things
break up, you know, we, we joke around that, you know, like when
I'm doing intakes and I'm like, oh, do you have a girlfriend?
Do you have a boyfriend? And they're like, yeah, we've
been dating for a long time. They're kind of like been

(01:16:29):
waiting for like a week. They're like, oh, we just
started to get out with my girlfriend.
We've been girlfriend's boyfriend for like 3 days.
So like you are nothing right now.
But again, these extreme interpretations of what
relationships are and how they go from like I'm in love in two
days to or broken up and now I'msuicidal, right?

(01:16:51):
Or I'm self harming or I'm usingsubstances to get over my
relationship. That ended after a week after we
met on the inpatient unit and they went back to their
girlfriend that didn't tell me about like, that's all the time,
right? And it's sad, right?
And I, I'm saying it kind of like glibly, but at the same
time it was like we, it's reallyhard to get across these people

(01:17:14):
to these, to our patients sometimes to be like, there's
reasons we don't have you guys exchange your numbers.
The reasons we tell you don't fret each other on social media
are reasons we tell you people like these don't get into
relationships with each other. And anytime we like see that
stuff happening, we kind of liketry to nip it in the butt as
much as we can because it more often than not, it's going to
turn, you know, poorly and negatively.

(01:17:37):
So that's the the dark side of maybe being extremely unhealthy,
right, looking for a connection,but not necessarily this romance
connection that what we see in the movie.
When you were talking about these two usually a word Co
regulation, right, and I was trying to look for a word right,
and I couldn't look for it. But they talk about the song
multiple times where they're like soothing each other.

(01:17:58):
I have something I don't fully remember, but hey, when I'm with
you, I feel good, this and that,blah, blah.
I never feel good with anyone. And then here you are.
And it's like, this is magnificent.
And then they're holding hands. Romantic as shit, demonize and
shit, good looking more her hair's all along.
Let me stop what the? This cold regulation, it doesn't

(01:18:20):
always have to be romantic. It can be platonic as well too.
Could be maybe spiritual, could be mentor.
I think you talked a lot about family as well, your wife, kids.
Right this Co. Regulation.
How the hell does one find that?And what the hell does that even
mean? What?
What does it even mean to deregulate or to Co regulate?
What does that mean? Regulate is more so like, you

(01:18:41):
know, I, it's, it's hard to explain in a way.
It was more so like you want to have your emotions in some kind
of quote UN quote normal range, right?
Where we're not oscillating between extremes, right, We're
not getting like over the moon about things, but also we're not
getting like down and all fire for how when things go really,

(01:19:04):
really bad and Co regulated regulation is more so like, you
know, we can say it's the yin and the Yang, the people balance
each other out, right. There's, you know, there's the
whole joke of like, you know, why do introverts get together
with like people who are really loud and you know, loud
extroverts, because you know, you need you need somebody yell

(01:19:25):
at the waiter for like the friesbeing cold and damn well ain't
going to be me, right? Like there's that joke that's
out there is like I need somebody else to do that for me,
right. But to kind of again, like
balances, balances of the route that kind of have there to help
the person bring get back centered to being at some kind
of stability point equilibrium as a whole.

(01:19:45):
You know, even like with this with a song free, like I think
there's aspects of like therapy,right, like a therapist client
relationship as well, where, youknow, the idea is like therapist
allows creates the safe space where the client, the patient is
able to express themselves freely, for lack of a better
word, be open, be true with themselves to process what needs

(01:20:08):
to get out there. And the therapist can serve as
that Tupperware for for the client to kind of process, work
through their emotions and to contain it, be a container for
it in a way too. And that could be a real form of
regulation. One of my client was saying one
time, you know, these couple of therapy shows Wildman, I ain't

(01:20:31):
having fun, but whatever. And no one always talks about I
want my partner to submit and they keep using submit.
And then I finally realized theymeant it more in like this
Christian way where they say in the Bible why the wife submits
to the man blah blah blah. And so the wife said, I will
fully submit to these things because the way the other person
says it more like bend the knee,submit where the other person

(01:20:54):
saying I'll fully submit, surrender, be with you.
I'll let you hold me and grab meand brace me when I'm falling.
I'll trust you if you do this, this and this.
And I'll submit to write my humanness to you if I feel safe,
if I feel loved, if I feel protected, if I feel cared for.
But I don't feel that. And so the way that they feel

(01:21:15):
the submit is to bend the knee every time.
And I just realized the nuance of that within the last few days
of what's being said in the relationship.
So this, this, this love and protection thing.
I get a lot of clients that likerun.
So they run from emotions in theoffice.
They don't want to cry. I don't want to talk about hard
stuff, right? And they'll use, we talked about
on our podcast was vibe with Kai.

(01:21:37):
You know, we use humor a lot to deflect, to distract.
And this person shuts the Zoom camera off on me and I was just
like, damn, what happened? You know, they get a phone call
or you know, they get text message and I say, hey, you
crying? And they say, Yep, I said, so
then we had a long talk about emotions and crying
vulnerability. They don't don't do that.

(01:21:59):
Also, why did you do that? Yeah.
And so let a long talk and vulnerability and a long fucking
talk on trauma and abandonment and all this other shit.
And like, Jesus Christ, that Co regulation, that therapy, that
healing, that freedom. They kept saying free in that
song. You were right.
I didn't even think about a therapist.
I was just thinking, friends. Yeah, there's there's all kinds

(01:22:21):
of ways to interpret it and there's like the main other part
of the lyrics too, is like looking back at things as like
we can't fix it if we never faceit.
Let the past be the past till it's weightless, right.
And the idea is like, let's, we can't just avoid it.
We have to look at what the pastis, what it's done for us, and
then confront it and then let the past be the past till it's

(01:22:44):
weightless, right? Till it's just the thing that
happened in the past where it says this thing that's on our
back all the time. There's some there's some good
stuff in that song. Yeah, there was.
Oh, yeah. All jokes aside, I was actually
legit really good. Yeah.
Pause. The boy.
Does he? Have any shame about being a
demon or no? I mean, his whole thing is he

(01:23:08):
sold out his family. He sold out his family 400 years
ago. And that's how he becomes a
demon. And that's where the shame is.
And you know, part of other parts of the movie is him him
saying that to be a demon is to do nothing but feel.
And I feel shame all the time. I'm constantly hearing EMA the

(01:23:31):
the head demon, the big demon inmy ear all the time saying these
things that I don't want to hear, bringing me down all the
time, you know, and that can be a representation for of course,
anything and everything, depression and anxiety, drama,
always you hear this terrible voice in your ear telling me
you're you're not worth anything.
You're you betrayed your family.You know, when later in the

(01:23:54):
movie when, you know, the girls of the band is broken up and the
girls have to get back together in a way is, you know, the the
other two girls would be like, oh, this is the family.
You thought you had a family. No.
Or that you thought that like everybody laughs at you because
you're funny. It's like, no, they laughed at
you because you're a joke. Like in all these terrible
things that people are saying tothem all there all the time.

(01:24:17):
Yeah. Jesus, it's intense.
Yeah. So what?
We got one more, right? Yeah, 1.
More See that door? This is where her roomie is
finally, finally showing off thedemon side, finally showing it.

(01:24:39):
And she's angry. She's been, she's been exposed,
yeah. She's finally been exposed.
It happens all right, and she finally confronts this step mom
about this. And even though she's coming to

(01:25:00):
her desperate and angry, I'm still is just like, hey, still
got to hide this, this word. We're past this.
We're past this now. It's done.
Bitch, I got different colored eyes.
There's no refreshing this, you know, got the District 9 I, you

(01:25:22):
know. Oh my.
God, we got to do this movie oneday.
That movie fucked me up, man. One day, yeah.
South Africa. And, and so she's confronting
her about it. It's, you know, she's probably
just like, you know what? Fuck it.
I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna do me now.
Just gonna do me. And then she evaporates into a

(01:25:46):
pink mist as one does. So what would you what?
What made you want to do this scene?
And why is the mom such an asshole?
Jeez. It's interesting.
It's. Interesting is it?
Because. She's trying to make sure her
daughter is safe. Is it all that old chestnut?

(01:26:09):
Is it Or is it her own selfish reasons?
Like she doesn't want to be associated with that, you know?
I feel like she's trying to sendher to that with it.
In the Christian camps they where they try to make them
straight. Is one of those.
Oh my gosh, yeah. Conversions.
Conversion camp. Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They. Usually work out well.
Did not work on me, no. They they couldn't.

(01:26:33):
No one can make you do anything now you're gay.
You don't want to. I'm not even gay, dude.
OK? Continues Thrillerman.
Sorry, I understand. It's, it's, it's, it's not this
whole idea of like we're talkingabout like conditional love,

(01:26:53):
right? Essentially that's there.
And you know, we want to get like real psychodynamic and
stuff, right. So I like had written this down
because even myself, I like always don't always believe it,
but like same reflects the failure of mirroring, right?
Like the child's need to feel seen, admired, validated.
It's unmet ultimately, right? That's what shame becomes.

(01:27:16):
So if the self is kind of shamedor this self is shamed as sort
of merit and leads to fragmentation and a false self.
So Rumi hides her identity because not because she's
dangerous, because she's never been mirrored as lovable.
Her whole her shame emerges fromabandonment, not moral failing,
right? It's because, you know, it's
it's really kind of like heartbreaking.

(01:27:38):
You're watching the scene and Celine this, you know, again,
was her mother's friend, raised this girl since birth, since her
mother died to be like, you know, then made group around
her. She's a, you know, the next
generation of the hunters. And she's like, you know, I I
didn't realize that this was going to be part of raising you,

(01:28:03):
this being that you were going to be part of demon, right.
And again, the metaphor being for whatever that you were
biracial, that you were queer, that you had a disability, you
were having trauma that something that that came along
with raising you. So it's the idea of like a
masking shame that comes up withit.

(01:28:24):
And it's the idea of like, again, Rumi wanting to be like,
this is who I am. You forced me to cover this up
and you couldn't love me for this.
You couldn't love all of me. You could only love these single
parts of me. The the things that I did really
well, You know, I can like bringup my sister in this situation.

(01:28:44):
She's a pediatric radiologist, Like she's a genius, like a
really well, high functioning Dr. you know, but like that
doesn't matter, right? Because the one thing that's
being seen by my dad for this isthat she married a white guy,
which was what will people say? And that's the greatest sin that
could have been committed in hiseyes.

(01:29:06):
And everything else that he's accomplished is erased and gone
doesn't mean anything at all. So we see this, right?
We see this in all parts of lifethat parents are always going to
want people to cover up certain things.
And whether it is from like their own kind of what will
people say? You know, their own thinking

(01:29:27):
about that or will think if theyfind out that Rumi is the half
demon and you know, what will the girls think?
It's it's it's really heartbreaking.
I always kind of like tear up when I see that part of the
movie because it's like it hits on a different level of like,
you know, we all have something that people want us to hide up,
but we just can't because it's not the full authentic elf.

(01:29:53):
Yeah, I agree with all that, that that last word.
Forgive me if I say it wrong, which is like all of it or all
of me. She says it with anger, right?
Yeah. That emotion and that gravitas
in her voice, the goosebumps andthen gone.
She also has that goosebump kindof gravitas in her voice again
at the end of the first scene that we watch where she's on the

(01:30:15):
roof and then everything lights up, right?
You can hear like the monsters, very impactful, very, very, very
sad. Her talking to her, her step
mom, that last 20 seconds of that third scene, they're just
like, Jesus, kid me, I know me and you, you, we think of our

(01:30:35):
own shit and in ways in which we, you know, we hide things,
our shame. You talked about debt, you
talked about AHD, you talked about this and that.
You just hide so many things. I just think about being
neurodivergent, you know, ADHD and autistic and just the way
people have treated me at work, the way they continue to treat

(01:30:57):
me on my way out the door, right?
They treated me like dirt out the door.
Bosses had a chance to say goodbye to me at the end.
Today, in the last minute, I stayed to stay late to work with
a crisis, didn't even say goodbye to me.
Congratulations, wish me luck. Nothing.
They treat you like shit. I see the people that get
promoted over me with half of myresume.

(01:31:19):
It's like, come on brother, why?Why?
And it makes you just horrible, makes you think second guess
everything that you do makes yousecond guess your worth as a
person, as a therapist, as a caregiver.
And you wonder, is it my awkwardness?
You, you wonder, is it your ADHDyou run into the autism?
Is, is the hoodness is the way you dress right?
All my clients, we all wonder what is it?

(01:31:43):
Client said a second ago, they said they were talking and I
said something I stuttered. I can't believe I stuttered out
loud. And they, they, you know, I just
believe. I just believe that, you know, I
kind of, I said don't. And they looked at me.
I said, finish the sentence thatI deserve this.

(01:32:04):
They said that I deserve this pain, this misery to be treated
poorly. I'm like fuck.
I. Couldn't believe I just randomly
stuttered don't. It's weird.
Like something just took over. I didn't want to hear it.
Do we think these horrible things because people tell us
these horrible demonic things, these these bad things that we

(01:32:24):
suck, blah blah blah. The world isn't made for us.
And then you start to believe it, right?
A lot of black and brown folks, we're just so fucking angry.
We don't even know why, don't even know why.
You know, your family's thinkinga certain way about you.
And I assume that you are a little nerdy kid as well too.
Little 80s teen nerdy kid with all the nerdy shit you got now,
I guarantee you're family. And I've got a lot of
international kids that I I careand love for now.

(01:32:47):
This, this, this, this, this, right?
It's this, this. And I don't feel like you fit
that mold when you were younger,but I'm going to kick it to you.
Did you fit the mold? And do your parents have to
reshape you? What What was the vibe when you
were younger kid? You know, it's, it's, I've
always been the other kid, you know, my, my entire like
educational life essentially. I, you know, Pakistani kid,

(01:33:07):
Muslim kid, I initially started going out to like a public
school, but then like in second grade, my, my dad used to drive,
drive me off of school. One day he missed the turn.
I was like, dad, you missed the turn.
What the hell happened over here?
And he's like, today we're goingto new school.
And then I was going to an all boys Catholic school where they

(01:33:30):
start the day with the Lord's Prayer and in a uniform.
And I'm like, what is going on over here?
Right. So the one kid who was like the
Muslim kid over there, the one brown kid over there, I've
always been honored. Then when I finished the 2nd to
8th grade, 2nd to 8th grade school, I went to another
private school, Albany Academy and upstate New York.

(01:33:54):
So a lot of like, you know, these private schools over
there, we had a boy school and then the girls school across the
street. Some of the people that I went
to school with their classmates with mine.
Elise Stefanik, she is a fortunately she's one of the
MAGA stick of fans who's now like AI think the embassy

(01:34:15):
ambassador to like England or something like that.
She made her name huge during from one campaign.
Lucy Derosa She was Lieutenant governor under Cuomo.
Andrew Cuomo recently was involved in some of his scandals
and stuff. Anthony Constantino, A little
piece of shit who runs a mule sticker mule, who is one of his

(01:34:37):
more clear claims to fame is that he made a Donald Trump
shimp statue after he got like shot in the ear of his fifth.
He made a statue and presented to him on his Yeah.
And then then he got into a fight on Twitter with the the
workwear die workwear guy, the men's fashion guy and getting

(01:34:59):
totally eviscerated by him. So, so see, this is some of the
people that I went to school with to get an idea of like.
You. Know the people that I was going
to school with different. Vibe.
Different vibe. College, College.
I went to A to Siena College, another head of Franciscan
tradition. Very school.
Liberal arts. Very small liberal arts school

(01:35:20):
where it looked like an Abercrombie catalog, right?
Because it was like 90% white, something like that.
So and then similar, I went to Buffalo for dental school and I
was like another outsider over there.
You know, the 1st and you know, that didn't work out for me.
So my whole life has been like the outsider kid.

(01:35:41):
And where'd you go for medical school?
You said The Caribbean. Caribbean, Caribbean, yeah.
How was that? Was that all white folks too?
Or you get some, you get some colour folk going there now.
No, I don't. Know I feel like all the white
people going. There No, we had we had a pretty
solid mix. We had a pretty good mix people,
but it was it was still predominantly white.

(01:36:02):
So yeah, it was still predominantly white, but like
definitely, you know, we know this in in medicine, that's a
whole right. And medicine as a whole is, and,
and I'll say that I'll, I'll clarify it to say like the
leadership of medicine, right? The people who are the
directors, the program directors, the CEOs, the in the
offices making the decisions, they're white guys, right?

(01:36:26):
They're not people who look likeme, right?
They're not people with quote UNquote funny names, last names,
you know, like, as you know, when I was selling Cutco knives
in college and people were looking over my sheets and being
like, were these people with thefunny names that you're trying
to sell knives to? I was like, what the fuck did
you just say? I was like, that sounds kind of

(01:36:48):
racist to me, bro, you know, like that's not cool.
Like these are some of these people are like my family and
you're saying they have funny names.
Like I can say their name fine. Why can't you?
That seems like a personal problem, not me, you know, you
know, so that kind of stuff thatexperienced our whole life, like
it's, it's there. It's always been.
There. Did you ever think that you did
you ever think that you could make it though, because of

(01:37:09):
somebody's bullshit or no? Sometimes, I mean, like, you
know, one of the things my dad said to me, you know, what's
good stuff about my dad, I can look at some of the good stuff
about my dad too, is that he's, you know, part of things that he
had me do was like read autobiography of Malcolm X at a
hell, a young age. When I was like in the 4th
grade, I read that book and he tried to give me like a whole

(01:37:31):
like series of books on like, you know, the civil rights
movement of black America. Like at a very young age, you
know, 3rd, 4th, 5th grade, I wasreading all this stuff then like
looking back, I'm like, why was I reading this?
But like, it definitely formed. I don't, I didn't see it at the
time. Like what what he was doing when
you know, again, I'll give him ahigh five that like he gave me

(01:37:53):
this education, made me read this stuff on my own to be like,
oh, these are the challenges I may face in some way.
And he said it to me. He's like, you're always, he
said, people are always going tolook at your name and they're
going to see your name and they're going to make a
judgement off your name. They're going to assume
something. They're going to think
something. I've had, you know, I was

(01:38:17):
treating working on my buddy's Suboxone clinic.
We had somebody from West Virginia and he was the standard
West Virginia stereotype kind ofperson that you expect come on
over to me. And he goes, boy, you speak
English real good for for a Pakistanian.
And I was like, brother, I was born in this country.
I have like a 750 in my verbal SAT is like you better damn well

(01:38:39):
bet that I speak English really well.
You know, it's like don't make these assumptions because of my
name or like what what my my skin color looks like.
Like this is, you know, part of the reality that I like anybody
who's the non dominant race and this country yeah is going to
other is going to experience in their life.
It's like this part of part of what the reality is, what life

(01:39:02):
is. We.
Just see, you know, Oh, I was just like, real quick, I was
just saying like, you know, partof the movie stuff is like, I
love seeing Miss Marvel. Like with the series that was on
Disney about Pakistani Punjabi being Muslim superhero because
I, we never had that when I was growing up.
I'm lucky. I'm blessed that my daughters

(01:39:24):
are able to see that and be like, this is our superhero.
This is our person that we have to look up to when I grew up
with Superman, white Clark Kent and Batman, white Bruce Wayne
and everybody being white, white, white.
And you know, we had we saw withwhen Black Panther came out and
what what that meant to the community, to the black

(01:39:47):
community. And you know, it's the same
thing to see representation. And another reason I, I love
this movie K pop human is because like Koreans, right?
Like it's K pop. It's this groups, group of
people that we don't talk about where Asians, there are
similarities with Asians as a whole, like Pakistanis and
Koreans, you know, we, we don't accept our children unless they
become doctors and lawyers and stuff.

(01:40:08):
But like, you know, that's part of the deal.
So. For sure, for sure, for sure.
I appreciate you being authenticand real about a lot of the
stuff today. I appreciate you being
vulnerable and actually speakingon some of the stuff, but not
everyone does that. I appreciate it.
Yeah. You got anything else for us,
boss? Any sauce?

(01:40:28):
Nope. Well, good.
All right. Is there anything that you want
to promote? Your new article, your websites,
your social media pages, anything you want.
Yeah, read the article that's going to come out over this
weekend. So begin to go September through
Psychiatric News. That's an official, the

(01:40:51):
newsletter of the American Psychiatric Association.
It will be my review analysis ofK pop demon hunters.
Follow along. I tell people like don't TikTok
is my biggest one but I don't use it anymore.
Use my YouTube. You're going to get all kinds of
fun stuff on there. Youtube.com/the kicks shrink
KICKS and then shrink SHRINK thekink.

(01:41:16):
Shrink kicks shrink in. Front of kink.
Wait a minute, is it kink or kicks?
No, Whoa, whoa, hey, people thought it was kink shrink at
first. It's kicks.
OK, because if you need me to grab some nipples, I'll grab
them. I'm a kick.
Yeah, You know, we do my own pockets on there as well.
It's been a little bit since I've had some guests on there.
But like definitely I've had some some great guests and stuff
leaders in the field trying to have like authentic

(01:41:39):
conversations as well with them and with the verses fighting,
you know, always fighting misinformation and
disinformation that's on on these socials.
Yeah. OK, awesome.
There you go. All right.
Well, we just want to thank you so much for coming on to the
show. It was a really fun time and
learning more about KBOW. Yeah, we just want to say thank

(01:42:06):
you again and appreciate you being here and for your time.
I'm Spencer. That's not as different.
Special pocket. Hi everyone, much love and
remember take care of yourselvesor don't, that's completely up
to you. Peace.

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K-Pop Demon Hunters & The Power of Loving Yourself | ft. Dr. Sulman Aziz Mirza

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}K-Pop Demon Hunters & The Power of Loving Yourself | ft. Dr. Sulman Aziz Mirza