The Sweat Monster & The Shield: Anxiety in “Win or Lose”

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Attention Welcome to the Different Spectrums podcast.
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(00:21):
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(01:04):
I swear I'm not gay. But we're back.
We're back. We're live.
Only when people are closed and they don't even know it AM.
I I'm not. I googled it, Google said.
Google said you are so. There you go.
Yep, 90% and another BuzzFeed fucking quiz.
Am I gay? 90% says yes.

(01:25):
You are. Yes, you.
Are all right. So I'm Spencer here close.
And of course, we have our licensed clinical therapist,
Nas. Doctor Straight Nas.
Doctor pinky up. Nas, remember, don't take us too
seriously. Or do.
It's completely up to you. There you go.
Let's just don't forget to run up those likes for us.

(01:47):
We'd really appreciate it. So we have a nice, nice Pixar
and Disney show to do today. I think this is probably like
one of their first shows. I can't remember if they've ever
done a show together before, butwe're doing the show, Win or
lose, that follows a few different characters while

(02:11):
they're trying to get to the championship game and seeing how
all of their lives are just running amok.
Everybody in the show got problems.
Let's be like, I want to be real, like they all got
problems. Doesn't matter what color creed
you are, they all got problems going on and we're going to be

(02:32):
covering the first two episodes and who knows, maybe we'll be
covering more if this does well.And.
This does well and the 1st 2 episodes are fantastic so I'm
I'm ready. I'm.
Exactly. And you only saw chunks of it,
You know, the whole fucking thing.
Even though they're only like 50minutes long, I'm excited.
Pretty nice. Nipples are full hard right now,
yeah. OK, well, OK, good for you.

(02:52):
So some topics we're going to betalking about today, we're going
to talk about not being good enough quote, UN quote.
We're also going to be talking about let's replay all the
mistakes you made today, PP. And then we're also going to
talk about parents trying to look up to them and then also
trying to make sure that you know you can be the best who you

(03:16):
can be for your parents. But then what does that mean for
you? And then we're also going to be
talking about dating, dating apps, dating life, and then also
keeping your Shields up. Yep, just like that.
For those people that can't see what he just did, he just lifted

(03:37):
his arm like he's jerking off a giant.
Why'd you go there? Why'd you go there?
Why'd you go in front of your face?
Watch. Watch the two of them watch to
do the Trump dance where he always just doing the two.
It's like, yeah. Well, who is he jacking off?

(03:58):
Well, I mean, he's pretty short.So I mean, yeah, he's like I'm
6-7. He's probably.
Jacking off his donors and giving them pardons.
Tiny hands. So my hands, My penis is so big
in your hands, Mr. Trump. I love it, Mr. Trump.
I love it. Anyway, before we get into the.

(04:20):
Show. Jesus Christ, we're definitely
going to be. Taking service.
Locked up by ice. I'm good.
I don't know about. You.
I'm good. You ain't good.
I'm staying inside. Motherfucker, I know.
I heard there's fires. You guys are getting all the
smoke from the fires. How's he doing over there?
Yeah, yeah, it's fine. It's just air quality shit.

(04:42):
So I heard. Yeah, my dad just told me
yesterday. Yeah, I mean, look, it's Smokey.
Yeah, it sucks, but you know. It'll be fine.
Yeah. Yeah, Canadians getting fucked
again this summer. With those God damn and.
Then they blow their fucking smoke to us.
Like what the fuck those bastards.
It's like if we were like in a non-smoking section.

(05:03):
It's part of like a restaurant. And then they just oh wow, it's
terrible weather out there. Like fuck you.
Fuck you man, I'm inhaling this shit.
Second hand smoke from fucking Canada.
I know those bastards. Good cigarettes there.
So this is a really good so far.The first couple things I've

(05:23):
seen are magnificent. We're really going to focus on
anxiety and specifically like this little creature that like
kind of sits on us and can grow and grow and grow and grow.
Very, very good animated visualization of what it's like
to deal with like a mental health issue, a mental illness
averages weigh on you and what we're going to get into that
very good. The next stuff is very

(05:44):
relatable. All of us, not all of us good
majority of us are dating. We're putting that thing out
there. We're trying to mush and push.
We're trying to, you know, you know, slide that thing around or
put it around, I don't know, spin it, flop up, stand up and
dance. I don't know.
I I've been been out there in a while, but I put myself out
there yesterday and we're going to talk about all the issues on
what people hate online dating regrets having your shield up

(06:10):
and like trying to protect yourself, getting ghosted
online, how that horribly the online dating effects people's
like mental health and we're going to get into a lot of good
stuff about dating in general. So I'm I'm excited for this and
also fun to share some stories and you know if you any hot
local singles looking for a a Arab man that doesn't shower.

(06:32):
They don't local, you don't. They don't know where you are.
If you're local to the Internet then.
I'm your guy if you like him 300plus that loves pizza because he
said he likes pizza. Why was he?
Why was he you? I know was he was me, just with

(06:53):
hair. He was me, but more gay.
Yeah, and a better accent. He did.
He did. But I'm excited to talk about
this stuff and have some really good fun today about
relationships and to be seen just anxiety too about dating.
So let's get into it. Let's.
We're probably going to talk a lot of shit today, folks.
Boop, boop, boop, boop. Yeah.

(07:22):
This is good because it's high stakes and that's the kind we
like. One juice box per player.
Please don't be selfish. There you go.
Thank you. How we feeling?
I'm feeling goodish. Bad Pickles huddle up.

(07:43):
Well done. That was a tough game, a tough
season really. But we made it and we're going
to the state championship. No matter what happens next
week, you are all winners as youplay as a team.
That's beautiful. Didn't you hear that?
I said. Did you hear?
That every player here, every player has their role.

(08:06):
There are no weak links. Incredible this man has a way
with warts. You all did great today, but but
I mean, there is one person who did the same level as all of
you. Just fantastic but better.
Kai. Oh, you saved our butts out
there. Oh.
Me. Three stars for you, triple

(08:27):
play. Two stolen babies.
The thing I like about your helmet is it still looks new.
Hey, stand up. Come on.
In fact, take a bow. Bask in.
It Well, thanks, everybody. When is everyone bowing?
You should probably bow too, right?
Yeah, I really sit down. Sit down and take a back.
Hey Lori, you see my sick video?You're Internet famous.

(08:50):
Really. Let me just take a look first.
I'll handle this. Oh, that's not great.
I know how to handle this. Laugh really hard.
Harder. Harder.
I don't believe you. Come on, give it to me.

(09:12):
You win. Why would you post that?
Because it's comedy gold. You're just a sad little boy who
is picking on her because you like glory.
Excuse me more. You win.
You win, doofus. Doofus.
You can't. Silly doofus.
I like Lori. I like Taylor.

(09:34):
This is your lazy. You OK?
Yeah. I mean, I just don't see him
like that. But it's like not an indefinite
no. Roshi Oh my gosh, look who's
driving the. Car who let.
Him drive the car. I'm just kidding.
Got. To go see you at school, let's

(09:56):
just replay all the mistakes youmade today #1 Don't think just
you, Dad.

(10:17):
Oh, hey Kai. Hey Lori, be cool, be cool, be
cool. Want to practice?
Bad idea. Say you got to go to the
bathroom. Go go wash your hair.
Go wash your horse. Say you have horses.
Come on. OK.

(10:39):
That's OK. That's OK.
Next one. Next one.
Just make contact. Ori.
Ori, you're paying attention. This is good stuff, she said.
To hit the ball. I think I suggested this a month
ago. To hit the ball.
Nobody listens to me. Half the stuff I say is hit the
ball. Hit the ball.
I would feel like a broken record.
Hit the ball, hit the ball. Hit the ball, hit the ball.

(11:02):
Kai, I finally. Oh, no.
I am so sorry. What do I do?
Oh, remember you. Hey, you got a hit.
Nice. What happened?
Kai, Are you OK? I mean, where does it hurt?
Tell me exactly what happened. Lori, what did you do?
I'm going to take you to urgent care, OK?

(11:24):
It's OK. Hey, it's OK.
I'm good. I promise.
I'm good, I'm sure. He can play.
Please help me to be forgiven for dare they her?
I'll never leave you. Let's just replay all the
mistakes you made today first. Just remember disappoint your

(11:47):
dad's like I can't. That's some deep.
Strike two. Everybody in, move in, Sorry.
The ball is coming. The ball is coming.

(12:09):
The ball is coming. That was high.
Are you serious, Boo? That was high.
I think you swung though. I know, Martin.
This is your last shot, Your moment for greatness.
Earn your spot on the team. Time Blue.

(12:36):
Hey kiddo, are you having fun? Loads.
Is your head in the game? Where are you right now?
I'm right here. Can you wiggle your arms?
Come on, shake it off. Be a noodle.
Be a noodle. Come on, let's be noodles
together. Everyone is looking.

(12:56):
We'll let them look. I don't care.
Wrap it. Up.
I'll take all day if I need to. I'm talking to my daughter here.
Let's just play, hey? We aren't playing the game until
you look me in the eye and tell me what's going on.

(13:19):
Am I good enough? People say I'm only here because
I'm the coach's kid. Well, they're wrong.
I mean, they're they're right that you are the coach's kid for
sure. Technically it is nepotism.
I mean, but but like it's, hey, it's all coming together for
you. Really it's.

(13:40):
Never been about being the best.It's about trying your best.
Wow. Dad.
There you are, just relax and let the game come to you.

(14:01):
You got it Dad. I I know what I must do.
I have faith I will get on base for my team.
Look at. His.
Eyes and let the home run. He's not for kind all of his.
Faith. And.

(14:23):
For you, Father. Hey, Rochelle, the knight knelt
down and removed his heavy helmet and said from the moment
I laid eyes. Here, Paige, do the voices.

(14:44):
From the moment I laid eyes on your.
Eyes, I can't take you seriously.
OK, from the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew that you would be
the woman I would spend the restof my life with.
Frank, do you want to get married?

(15:04):
I think I just think it's too soon, but I'm not.
I'm not ready. Maybe someday, but I.
OK, whenever you are ready, pal,and we'll pick you up in
Quesadilla and Susie, Rob. OK, that was awkward.

(15:25):
Listen, Frankie, I'm going to behonest with you.
You really messed it up by leaving Miss Park.
It's not, as my private life is none of your business.
Dude, you got to move on, all right?
It's good. It's my lunchtime now.
It's my sacred. Nothing to be ashamed about.

(15:48):
She's right. OK, I'm not one to pry, but when
I see sad puppies, I got to havethose sad puppies.
Francis. Stop getting out my business.
I'm perfectly happy with my life.
Whatever you say, you know, I know everything that goes on at
the school, right? And dunzies, here you go, I
downloaded a dating app for you.What?
You're welcome. Hey.
Give me my phone. So think of it like a game, like

(16:11):
a risk free game that will just totally fix your very broken
life. My life doesn't need fixing.
Hey, how does it work? OK, you just build your profile.
Likes, dislikes, a few cute pigs.
Yeah. This one.
This will do. OK.
Hey, don't go through my photos.That's not for you.

(16:32):
That's not for you. How?
Old. Are you like 40?
Well, I'm 32. Really.
Wait, really? For reals?
Really. Excuse me, please leave.
To this. Congela, I love you, but my

(16:52):
nature? I can never be with you without
hurting you. I'll.
Take that risk, Frank. You're single.
Here you go, Frank. You're single.
Soy latte. I was so excited for you to come
in today, Frank. Wow.
I just can't. Couldn't wait.
I couldn't wait, Frank. I couldn't wait.
Here's your coffee. Extra hot.

(17:15):
Wow. Thanks, Lena.
OK, Frank, see you tomorrow, hopefully.
Hey. Lena.
Frank, I bet you're about to saysomething funny.
You kill me. Wow.
That's a lot of pressure. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

(17:37):
You're gonna. Have to keep that breathe.
Breathe from your stomach and then you out.
Do you want to have a coffee? Yeah, I just had some.
Suddenly I have 5 screenplay ideas.
Right. Yeah.
Do do do you want to have coffeewith?
Oh, with you like on a date? I'm just trying to get you a

(18:08):
coffee. It's just being.
Nice, got the coffee. God I.
Can't believe this happened again.
Do you need water? I don't.
Know if we have water? No, no, no, I prefer.
Nobody laugh at Frank and stare at Frank.
Seriously guys, stop. He's.
Hurt. Leave him alone, he's like a

(18:28):
younger brother to me, you guys.Yeah, I got to go.
I'll go, I'll go, I'll go. Probably going to hit the gym,
do a workout. I have a small iced coffee for a
scene. Sean.
Your name's Sean. I'm so sorry.

(18:49):
Have a great day. Scene.
Sean. I'm sorry.

(19:19):
None. Are you?
Making this fake version of yourself.
I am an independent person, no. I'm called Frank.

(19:57):
I'm independent. I like pizza.
Oh, sorry. No, I don't think so.
OK, she she does look nice. What are you doing this weekend?

(20:22):
I don't know, I have no life grading exams.
Oh, I've got a lot on, just heaps of stuff, very busy.
How about you, stupid game? I don't need a buffet of
options, I know what I like. Let me see that.
Give me my phone. Frankie Poe, It's not that
difficult. Pizza.

(20:43):
Come on now. This just breaks my heart.
Have you stopped trying? It's over, Frank.
You aren't even trying. Why are you being so defensive?
I've made my decision. Hey, hello.
Do you want this or do you're not my friend?
Do you want it? Yeah, yes, of course.
Look, I'm fully invested now, OK?
You've got me fully invested, Frank.

(21:03):
I am in. Are you in?
I'm your wingman, Frank. I'm not.
I'm called. Frank, I'm independent but
trying to be open to new experiences.
A heart for you? Sure.

(21:24):
Why not? Cool.
Not you. Oh.
Would you ever want to be abducted by aliens?
Who's to say I haven't been already?
You're. Funny.
What do you like to do for fun? Oh wow, I read romantic sci-fi

(21:50):
novels. Oh nice.
How about you? What do you do for fun?
I love to cook. Me too, I love to cook.
What's your favorite dish? Have you read quads on anything?
Have I? Have I?
Are you crazy? I wrote my own sequel where no
one was innocent. You like that too?

(22:14):
Yeah, and I just finally I left them.
Well, have you ever had your heart broken?
I think I broke my own heart. I broke things off before she
could. Heavy, You know I like talking
to you. So what are you up to this

(23:04):
weekend do? You want to get spaghetti?
I'm free Friday, thank. You.
Oh. Is this a bad time?
Yes. No, I mean no I I have a parent
teacher conference but. How are you?

(23:28):
I'm. So I I've been meaning to tell
you. Hello, it is me.
I am here. Trafford was a nightmare.
You know what? Never mind.
Good luck with the parent teacher conference.
Bye. Have you ever honked your home
before, like really late on it? Like, I mean, what a rush.

(23:54):
Right. Well, as I said, Rochelle was
involved in a cheating incident,usually.
They let me stop you right there, Rochelle said.
She didn't cheat on any tests, so she didn't cheat.
Well, and of course she said shedidn't do anything.
Please walk me through what you think happened.
Well, she was in the class. Everybody's taking the test.
I'm watching them like a hawk. It is heads up, pencils down,

(24:16):
but she's got a piece of paper and she was going to pass it.
Passing or about to pass. About to pass.
Was she or was she not in possession of the chichi?
She was near it and I assumed. Assumed.
So you assumed guilt? Yes.
No, no. Rosha said that another kid
asked her to pass it. Do you know what you was doing?

(24:41):
I thought I knew what I was doing, what I wanted, but lately
I'm second guessing myself. A long time.
You don't want to regret making the wrong call here.
I already do. I feel like I've made a big
mistake. I I shouldn't have been so quick

(25:02):
to call. Her exactly.
She's right again, folks. Oh, oh, look at me doing the
most Venextra. Listen, the first step is just
admitting you made the error. It's never too late to make the
right call. Hey Vanessa, I'm sorry I wasted

(25:23):
your time. No, you didn't.
It was nice to talk to an actualadult for once.
You know, I got to tell you, you're Rochelle's favorite
teacher. She says you're tough, but
you're fair. And she loves your accent.
She thinks it's hilarious. Good on ya.
Goodbye. I'm sorry I realized I haven't

(25:49):
moved on from my ex but I'd loveto be friends.
I'm killing Monica. Can

(26:13):
you go? I got this.
I got this, Frank. Keep going, keep going.
I believe in you. Fly, Frank, fly.

(26:49):
Guess who isn't single? I am locked down.

(27:09):
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We're back and we're live, just as live as my SDD is about to

(27:53):
be. Come there.
I don't know, it's either you'regay or you have STDs.
No, it's like I haven't even touched anyone.
It's like. And you're just going to be
fucking women with STDs? How would I do that?

(28:14):
Like what are you doing? Oh no.
This is how you going out to theworld.
It's like the world's I'm going to be fine.
I'm going to be. Fine, give me STDs, I'm your
guy. I knew it.
I'm your peachy dish. Someone just give me some warm
apple pie. I'm done with this already,
Jesus. Christ, wow, give to.

(28:34):
The show. Yeah, All right, yeah, let's
just get into it. So we're covering the show, win
or lose, by Disney and Pixar. It is on Disney Plus.
No name changes to that brand. Fucking HBO.
They're like, oh shit, maybe youshouldn't call it Max anymore.

(28:56):
Like, yeah, everybody just called the HBO anyway.
They changed it again. Yeah, back to HBO.
So fucking stupid man. How many times are they going to
flip it? They just need to leave it
alone. Just leave it alone.
HBO Max perfect. It's fine.
Don't worry about it. All right, there we go.
Anywho, we're going to be following Win or Lose, which is

(29:17):
animated miniseries produced by Pixar.
And yeah, I mean, like I said, follows middle school softball
team as they're trying to get their way to the championship
game and win it all. And the first character that

(29:38):
they have is actually Lori. Now, Lori is the daughter of the
coach of the team, Pickles, and she has zero confidence as well
as she's not that great at softball, right?
And that plays a part into kind of who she is, right, and what

(30:00):
is happening. And so the first scene that we
have is her and this sweaty monster let's just call sweaty.
Hey, who hasn't been a sweaty monster?
Let's be real, just a fat pile of shit some days continues.
Right. OK.

(30:20):
Once again, confidence and data.Great.
We'll get to that. Later.
Any who so they actually they win their game to get into the
championship, but then all of a sudden this monster just appears
out of nowhere from her sweat. And so the one thing that she

(30:42):
wants is her dad's approval, which you know what kid doesn't?
And so she's just sitting there and this sweaty monster just
keeps on nagging her, keeps on talking to her.
At first it's very small and it's just it's a pester.
It's annoying, right? It's right here.

(31:03):
But and we'll see as time goes on, it kind of grows and grows
and then the way it talks, it's a little bit more creepy and a
little bit more deep into like her insecurities and her
anxiety. Also a good thing to note for
Lori is that she is religious and every night she prays to

(31:28):
God, which I thought was interesting because you don't
really get to see that a lot in cartoons anymore, especially the
religious side of things. They like to kind of keep that
hush hush on a lot of things. And yeah, I mean, and then
before we get into it, also another quote that this little

(31:53):
monster says is let's replay allthe mistakes you made today.
Now, Lori, when she hears that, she just kicks it away.
It's like, whatever, you're annoying.
But then once it grows and grows, it's like she actually
starts listening to it. And she actually does start

(32:14):
doing that replay, especially while she's asleep.
We'll get into that later, but would you say this is a good
representation of anxiety or just someone who has
insecurities? Would you use this clip for any
of, like, your students or for your clients that you have?

(32:35):
Yeah, let me know. What do you think about this
scene? So it kind of reminds me when
the Big Mouth TV series was actually good.
I think it was like season 2. They had the anxiety like
mosquito and so that was like some pretty good episodes.
And they had the depression cat that sat on that girl.
So both of those, it reminded meof like a mixture of those two.

(32:57):
So we talk about all the time. Spence is like, it's this little
thing that's on your shoulder orit's this little whisper that
you've been told for years, I'm not good enough.
I'm not good enough. You suck so many students.
And we're going to talk about here in a second.
They've been telling me this week, you know, this was rough.
It's like I was getting shot like $0.50 like 3 * 9 times in

(33:18):
the chest, man. And they were like, I'm fat, I'm
dumb, I'm ugly, I'm worthless. I'm like they drop the R word
too. I'm like Jesus Christ, kid.
And it's constant years of beingtold certain things or like you
are not enough. And eventually it kind of sits

(33:38):
with you. So as you see it as a little
kid. So maybe the monster doesn't get
that big for everyone, Spence, but it starts there.
It forms out of the fucking ooze, and then it sits on your
shoulder in the back of your head, in your subconscious.
And then it kind of slowly gets bigger and bigger and bigger.
And as we've seen in the next scenes, it's kind of like

(33:59):
Homeboy. It's kind of now it's like this
armor that's always on you that you always push people away
because that demon that whisper,those ghosts that you talk to at
night, which is this little sweaty monster, they're just
there. 100% will use this. A lot of my no divergent kids, a
lot of my girlies will love thisbecause it's a very playful,
very funny way to introduce mental health anxiety.

(34:22):
Coping mechanisms like this willbe easy and it's a quick show to
instead of like a long movie. Spence, Disney plus stuff,
anything cute like this fantastic.
Definitely going to use it. I like how it was formed out of
sweat, which means that it's outof like a physiological

(34:44):
reaction, Spence, to like anxiety or stress.
So your heart rate's probably going up, you're getting hot
because your body's like, oh, oh, we need to move, we need to
do something, we need to run. Then the sweat kicks up.
Why is the sweat kick up? Because it's trying to cool down
your body's temperature and thenthen the negative thoughts come.
So I think it's a really good representation of the

(35:04):
physiological effects of anxiety, not just the talking
ones. We we tend to forget to talk
about both. We saw it inside out, but you
really don't, you know, you see her like deep breathing and
tweaking. We've seen in the Puss in Boots
episode that me and Spence did. But sometimes you don't always
hear the talking mind too. So I think it's a good
representation. I'm glad you brought it.
Yeah, yeah. And then also something to know

(35:26):
as well that we see throughout the episode is that her parents
are also in the middle of like they're going to get divorced.
So that's that also plays a partas well.
Real shit though, yeah. And this is what I really liked
about Disney and Pixar was like these adult themed subjects, but

(35:49):
they're four kids. And I think when we dumbed down
certain media, that hurts not only the product, but it also
hurts the message that kids are just dumb and can't understand
these things when they aren't. They are not dumb and they can
understand this. Like, and even if they don't

(36:11):
understand it at that time, you grow up and you're like, oh
shit, I remember that. That's crazy.
That was actually pretty deep. And you know, I think this is
the type of product that I love seeing because we can actually
have these conversations about it and be like, wow, this is

(36:32):
actually really deep. Even though it's a kids show.
And I, I, I really hope that they keep on on this track to
actually having those deep conversations and deep topics
too. So.
Love it. I mean, so recently I've had a
couple clients Spence that love reading books and so our home
girl. So she did the thing with the

(36:55):
bibliotherapy and just came out with the book.
I'm completely blanking on her name right now.
I it's the bibliotherapy in the Bronx.
The book just came out. Looks fantastic.
So we had her on. We did we need to Pooh with her.
And so we're using the books like we use the podcast for
movies, right. And so we're, you know,
discussing and breaking down mental health scenes,
characters. And why don't I bring this up
now? It's because because I got some

(37:17):
other kids that will like like this because they're like, Yep,
that's me. Let's replay everything that you
did wrong today. And then they just sit there at
night and their eyes get real big eyed, bug eyed.
And then it's very accurate. Man.
I'm glad that you're doing thesethings.
Kids are ingesting and seeing everything that's going on.

(37:39):
Just because they don't have bigtrauma doesn't mean that there
isn't shit still there that addsto like the stress and
overwhelming and pressure. So there may be a lot of you
listening. You know, well, no one beat me
or abused me or assaulted me. But right, maybe your parents
argued a little bit, but it wasn't too bad.
But sometimes your parents beingvery successful, very educated,

(37:59):
good jobs, and then add stress. And sometimes your sibling being
highly educated add stress, addspressure.
Maybe one of your siblings good at athletics.
And then you're kind of like thenerdy weird one that just, you
know, falls down when you walk. It adds a level of like, I'm not
good enough, which then can oozeinto almost every single thing

(38:22):
in your life. So it doesn't always have to be
massive stress spent. Sometimes it could just be maybe
it's a OK divorce, but then maybe it's athletic and you're
not as good as the other people.You're not getting the stars on
the helmet. Trust me, that's just a bitch
when you're playing like high school football and and you're
getting these things. So we ours was the big Reds.

(38:43):
That's probably racist now, but we all had these little fucking
Tomahawks that went on our helmets when we did.
Good bro. When you got a tomahawk bro,
them helmets look so fucking sick.
I'm like, I'm the fucking man. Everybody put the star like,
yeah, it was for us. It was like the stars they put
on, like the helmets they like put them all on.

(39:04):
My shit was clean. Yeah, my shit, she said.
My helmet looks new, but we'll get.
Dead in the scene but like no one will be.
I ain't gonna lie, I hate this fucking team Ohio State, but
their helmets are sick as fuck bro.
They are they yeah, those are some stick up.
I will say though, for a bit, you know, of of course, you
know, being from Minnesota, the big MI love the big M that they

(39:25):
put on our helmets now. I think they're pretty dope.
I I especially when they do likethe matte.
Yep, I love the matte stead. If they were to give you all
stickers though, like Little M stickers or something like
Little Gophers IA, Little Gophermight be too cute that.
Would be That'd be too cute. They'd be like, damn, we got to
sell these because everybody wants them.
Me too cute. It have to be like a Minnesota

(39:46):
Gophers got a marketing. It it happened to be like a
rabid, like rabies Gopher, that might be more terrifying.
Yeah, they would love that. You got to have that.
Yeah. It's like the sticker's got to
be scary. It can't be like some gay ass
Gopher. Jesus Christ.
Happy Pride Month, everyone. Happy Pride Month.

(40:08):
Hey, hey, when we say gay, we mean it.
Well, we mean it with love. I'm going to Pride next week.
Nice. No, not this weekend.
It is the 13th and the 14th of of June.
Can't wait to go. I think it's it's the right
thing to do also or just just toshow support for the community
that's getting kind of shit on. So I'm I'm going to go take some

(40:28):
lane, go check it out. Yeah, and you know what?
Forgot to bring it up, but I just want to do it real quick,
doom justice. All right, so just a reminder
real quick, Jonathan Joss, who played most famously John

(40:49):
Redgorn in King of the Hill was gunned down and murdered in
front of his house along with like his dog and his partner who
was also shot. His partner is alive, but him
and his dog actually passed away.
And so talking about Pride month, we also want to talk

(41:11):
about how people can be hateful and take things to a deadly
extreme. Now if you don't agree with just
LGBTQ and all that stuff, fine, But when you go to the lengths
of actually killing or hurting somebody, then that's I think

(41:35):
that's a huge problem. And people need to realize that
these things should not be affecting them that much where
they need to resort to violence because somebody is gay and
things like that. So just want to take some time
to talk about him and also just the fact that it's a very

(41:59):
disgusting behavior from people who just few others differently
so. Facts. 100% support it.
I'm glad that we randomly segwayed into that and pride
month in that it's vines what wesee with folks.
Man. Just like why?
Like why why why why do you care?
Why is there so much hate? Why are there so much
incongruence with this? Why rest in power, rest in

(42:22):
peace, especially when the show was getting ready to come back
and you know, one of the figuresgets gunned down.
It's just terrible. And we see all the hate around
the world just in general and just won't let people live their
lives and want to control people's minds, bodies.
It's sad. So again, if you can do anything

(42:42):
to support folks that are LGBTQ,that are queer, if you could go
to Pride if it maybe you donate things like that.
Maybe you just check in on your people.
Maybe you celebrate with your people this week and you eat in
this month and you get some BBQ,something like that.
Do something just so much love and appreciation to all the
queer folks that listen to us because we know it's a good
majority of you that identifies that.

(43:03):
So much appreciation. So all right, yeah, let's
transition to some scenes. Yeah, let's do the next one.
So Lori, she it's like, OK, championship games coming up and
I want to get better. I want to get better.

(43:23):
So, you know, does the whole action sequence where she's, you
know, training, training, training, training her butt off
and she's doing it to the point of exhaustion where you're,
there's no way you're going to be healthy the way you're going.

(43:44):
Like, she trains every day, getsup obsessively to a point where
people are like, good, you know,everything, OK.
And, you know, And as that's going on, this sweat monster is
also getting bigger. And as she's on the practice

(44:06):
field waiting for her dad, her teammate actually comes on.
Who's the star player? And it's like, hey, want to, you
know, hit some balls, help her practice get better, which is
pretty cool to do. And then she finally after
missing like every pitch and I don't know how long they're out

(44:30):
there, but they she was missing them all.
But then finally after that little sweat monster is getting
her annoyed, she finally hits itbut then hits her teammate Kai
in the face, shocked and knocked.
Her out shocked. Like, oh, about to turn into

(44:52):
that Disney show? But.
She did, he did. They killed a black woman.
No, not again. Like, uh oh.
And then she's arrested for a hate crime anyways.
And then her dad comes in and immediately it's like, what did
you do? Turned very scary there.

(45:17):
And then once again, that monster keeps growing and
growing because once again, she dissed to her.
She disappointed her dad by hurting the star player of the
team. And the dad just didn't realize
any of this shit, which it's, you know, that's realistic.

(45:40):
Like a lot of the times parents,they just don't know, like some
of their actions that they do orthe lack thereof of any words at
all actually hurts their kid more than them not saying
anything at all. And so then we get this scene
where she's sitting in her bed, she's laying up watching her

(46:03):
stars, and she starts to pray. But then all of a sudden that
anxiety gets right in her face and tells her, like, come on,
let's be together now. Let's morph into one.
And then she tells her, let's replay all the mistakes you made

(46:23):
today. But now she's actually doing it,
and she's replaying all those things while in the bed.
What is it about being in your bed trying to sleep and then all
of a sudden like you just think back of all the especially if
you've done something where it was really traumatizing or

(46:47):
anything, or even if it's in the.
Past. Yeah, You can think of anything
in the past where you're just like, what the fuck?
What like just cringy moments that you've had in your life.
What is it about you trying to go to bed and then all of a
sudden all this flood of like just everything just comes and
gets you what is? I would love for folks to answer

(47:11):
in the comments on Spotify, YouTube, Instagram.
What do you have this issue and also what do you think that is?
I really do feel like it's, it'sone of those few times during
the day where you're not inundated with stimuli.
So your computer, telephone, social media, video games,

(47:31):
homework. Work work.
And so you're finally like I'm alay down.
Brah. It's like everything finally,
you're finally able to be mindful in the moment and to
feel in the process and, and normally it's the scary stuff
that we want to process. Normally it's the things to be

(47:52):
better, the things to work on how we fucked up.
So it's usually it's our anxietythat wants us to be better and
wants to protect us, right? Just like the Inside Out
characters I have. But in actuality it just
overwhelms us and then it makes us obsessive and then we end up
staying up and it messes up our night and our sleep.
Then we feel like shit the next day.

(48:12):
And then we post likely mess up more the next day because we're
too tired. And because we're so tired we
can't slap away anxiety like shedid in that first clip.
And then eventually starts eating AE Spence and she gets so
heavy that now it starts to depress you.
And now the depression starts tomake it where you can't even get
up in the day. So the shame and the depression

(48:33):
usually are exacerbated by the stress and anxiety.
So why is that? I think it's because the stimuli
and we can finally sit with our thoughts.
I know there's something specifically because I'm not
listening to music anymore, Spence in the car or at my
workouts. I'm not like melting down and
like having crying spells at thegym because I'm not processing

(48:53):
any emotions. Like I'll put on ATV show or
basketball game and it keeps me like distracted and focused on
that. But as soon as I put on music,
I'll be like, let me feel my feelings.
I'm like, Oh my God, there's toomany of them.
Go away. I've noticed that music I
didn't, I didn't know that. I haven't listened to really any

(49:14):
music in months. Like maybe 6-7 months now.
As soon as they come on in the car, like randomly Spotify will
kick on. I'm like, Oh my God.
Why is it so sad Oh my God why is lucid dreams on and all this
shit like I don't need to hear my boy just start crying use.
Your top 100 songs? They're all sad.
No. No, but the shows don't do that

(49:36):
to me, so I think it's because it forces me to sit in some
emotions. They're interested.
I still kind of tweak out at night here and there like
everybody else. It's not as bad as it used to
be, but for everyone else, it's usually pretty bad because
they're so insecure about the choices, what they've done, what
they said, how they acted. A lot of my clients right now,

(49:59):
Spence, I'm going to actually send her the first episode after
this. I'm going to text her.
Well, I might not text her because it'll be like midnight.
That'll be weird. You know, yeah, yeah, you think
about you. Yeah, I know.
Like bitch get out of here pervert pedophile, but I
accidentally did text a client at midnight the other day.

(50:21):
Because I was. Completely disoriented at what
time it was and I was like fuck,I'll censure at midnight.
But I'm going to send her that first clip because it's so spot
on with what she deals with. And so and she'll she'll listen
to the pod too. I know she will.
She always does. But it's the way in which we

(50:43):
talk to ourself and which we're almost disrespectful, Spence,
and we're almost withholding of any love or goodness or
kindness. We'd like punish ourselves that
night, right? And it's like we know what I ate
too much or I didn't exercise orI didn't sleep well or I fucked
up on that exam or man, that wasa cringe thing that I said.
Or like I said, like the little girly, she thought that one boy

(51:05):
was flirting with her and then he's like, I don't like you,
girl. And I write that.
How cringe is that? So we tend to be very negative
at night time man, and then it leads in us to withholding any
goodness. Yeah, I think she had like her
thing that was good was like herpraying and just being like

(51:27):
please get me better, please give me better.
But then. It's over.
Anxiety got in front of that andso now she's not even thinking
about that stuff or even thinking about like her religion
anymore. It's more about just like, oh
God, what have I done to make myself and maybe even
disappointed my father even more.

(51:47):
Not just being a bad player, butthen also hurting the good
player. Like that's pretty tough, man.
Like if you're not pulling your weight and then you hurt.
The top player. Like that's pretty bad, man.
That's. Pretty imagine the Pennant
championship brother and our dad's like the sweetest guy, so
let's he's not even like a monster.

(52:08):
But no, let's let's zone in on that.
So a lot of us will hear something, but then we morph it
into like this weird demonic or mean or negative.
We we hear like the worst and what people say sometimes and
they're like, they didn't even mean to say it like that.
They didn't say it like that. But you interpreted it

(52:29):
horrifically because the dad's like, what did you do?
Very kindly. And she's like, what did you do?
Yeah, yeah. And that's not reality.
But when you're not living in reality and you're very shameful
and you're scared of your dad because you don't want to
disappoint him, you might probably going to hear it in a
negative way. She sounds like a very much all
or nothing girly. She feels like she sucks and

(52:49):
everything so she's just nothing.
And so she locks in, gets super obsessive practice, practice
practices. Reminds me a lot of my clients
vents is they grow up with like this.
I need to be better when they'reyoung and then it morphs into
like legit perfectionism and OCDobsessiveness, overworking,
burnout, a lot of damaged, insecure children.

(53:13):
I'm going to specifically point out a gender.
Women will have this where they need to be better, better,
better, better, better, better, better, better.
And it's like, no go, you're fine.
Like you are good. You're doing really good.
You don't need to be the best. You don't need to stay up for
fucking 14 hours to lose exam. You don't need to starve
yourself to make sure that you're the thinnest version of
yourself because you think that you're prettier that way.

(53:35):
And a lot of dudes that's it's not always how we respond.
So I love that we're using the girly in that.
I love that we showed the obsessiveness, but she's still
not getting better. So I guarantee you she treats
herself like shit afterwards. No small pivot.
Before I forget the praying thing.
I love that you brought this up.You haven't talked about

(53:56):
religion in a good way in a while.
I have a lot of clients, Spence,that we use religion in in in
therapy in the process. Prayer can be very mindful, can
be very meditative. You know, you sit down with
yourself, you're being very connected with God.
You're paying attention to your breathing.

(54:16):
Maybe you have your rosary if you're Catholic, right?
And so you're playing with that.Maybe you're, you're going into
the church itself or the temple itself.
You're going to these places that are very meditative, very
calm, very relaxing. A lot of my clients with high
anxiety spends that are religious, but let's let's go
into church. Let's let's go to worship

(54:36):
because they feel like they're getting that rejuvenative,
rejuvenative, whatever force they're getting that good sauce
from God. Why?
Because God normally long as it ain't, I'm going to just be
racist here. Some of them white gods are like
super shameful and like horribleand mean and hateful.
A lot of our most of our gods ofcolor is like, I love you.

(54:57):
You're my child. I made you in my image, a very
loving and forgiving God. Now I'm trying to tell you.
I gotta kill them all. Jesus, you're.
Horrible. You're a Sinner.
I mean, a lot of the Catholic shit, man.
It's just like, you're always going to be horrible.
You're a piece of shit. Like you're just no redemption.
It's like. Fuck, why do I even try?
Catholic guilt. Well, it's like I'm about to eat

(55:18):
all the apples in this motherfucker.
Fuck you. Jesus, what a white women and.
Shout out to Eve. Shout out to Eve.
Fucking brought us down. All you had to do was not eat
the fucking. Apple, it's all yeah, and you
did it. Look what you did it Women just.
Remember, a white woman made sure we couldn't get into

(55:39):
heaven. Well, in the Bible it's a white
woman. In reality, you had to have been
an Arab or an African. But what I don't?
Know what it is? I mean, she had blue eyes, I'll
tell you that. I'm not saying she white, I'm
gonna say she white. I was the 1st.
Snake. I'm just saying she.
White. I'm a black people, you know,
eating apples, you know? I mean, I mean white women when
you see talking to snakes, all of them.

(55:59):
All of them, they all snakes. They want to know, you know,
Jesus, how do we pivot so badly so that you were such idiots?
Why do people listen to us? And no love religion for some of
my clients, dude, because if they want to be with God, they

(56:22):
can't be shitting on God's creation.
So I love that she's praying she's doing her best at night to
do her rituals herself care she get all up in her bed cuddled up
and then that little sweat monster, that little demon sits
on her very, very sad man. Sometimes even all your coping
skills and mechanisms won't helpyou when that voice just keeps

(56:43):
getting heavier, heavier and heavier.
As we get to the next scene, we'll talk more about, you know,
her dad and connection. But those moments when you feel
like you've let your parents down, my guy.
I mean, those are probably the worst moments.
The one the few times I've looked at my father and he's

(57:04):
never yelled at me about, well, he's yelled at me about some
shit, but he's never yelled at me in like disappointment
because of something, right? Never hit me, none of those
horrible things, right. But like, motherfucker would
look at you when he was disappointed and he was like,
and I'd be like, you ain't even got to say nothing.
I'm like, I know I fucked up, Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, I know I fucked up.

(57:25):
And those are the things that sit with you, my guy.
And you're like, I'm going to dobetter.
I'm going to do this. I'm going to grind this out for
pops. When I was legit wanting to die
and attempted to take my own life was when I had got kicked
out of school. And that was just, I mean, that
was just shit. Just my pops was he was calm,

(57:47):
but I can't believe that I had put him through that.
I can't believe that he had to watch me get arrested and put
into a cop car. I can't believe that the
officers tried to fucking arresthim and I put him in that
position to be arrested again. That was horrible, dude.
And I remember being kicked out of school for like months and
months and months and just sitting there and I just had to

(58:09):
live in it. And we had he had just bought me
a new car too before that. It's just like, how did I fuck
this up? So when that little girl was
like, what did you do? I yeah, I get it.
I you just, you just made the worst mistake you could.

(58:31):
And and it's tough, man. And whether you're a big kid
like me, whether you're a young adult, whether a child, they're
weigh on you. And I've got many clients that
always tell me, Spence is you can do better, you can do
better, you can do better. That dad didn't say that.
He just said like, I need you tobe perfect, girl.
I just want you to have fun and try your best but you don't hear

(58:56):
it. Yeah, yeah, it's true.
And just when like it's the smallest things that really make
a kid just perk up about like their parents especially, it's
like a parent who doesn't reallysay much and stuff like that.

(59:18):
Just like the little things always go a long way.
And it's it's like the easiest thing of all time, easiest
thing, even if like they even ifyou like you overdo it
sometimes. But like saying like every time
I say goodbye to my mom, I like love you, goodnight, stuff like
that, just 'cause you never know, right?

(59:40):
It's one of those things where you're like, you never know.
And as when you're a young kid, you don't really understand that
and you're just like, Oh my God,I can't wait.
Wait, what have? You get out of here.
Go away mom. I'm doing mom homework.
Fuck, never do that shit. But you take for granted those

(01:00:02):
things, and I bet you know, I bet he's been like a good dad.
I guarantee you. Her years and stuff like that.
Maybe he wasn't like the most affectionate.
Maybe he was just a little bit more quiet than usual.
Maybe. But he was also trying to make
sure that she didn't get specialtreatment because she was his
daughter on the team. It could have been, it could

(01:00:23):
have been a bunch of different things, dude.
I see it the other way, Spence. I've seen people be suicidal
because they're not doing good enough and it because the
parents were actually so good. Like so good to them and loving,
supporting financially, emotionally, physically, they're
like I'm a fucking loser and a piece of shit.
Like my parents are awesome. Why do I suck and I'm like kid

(01:00:44):
like I don't deserve my parents.I should die and I'm like.
No like. What can we?
What, as a parent can you do? You fucking situation, You can't
do anything you. Can't do it.
You can't win you. You can't be abusive asshole.
You can't be loving. You can't be too good.
Give me too good or else they'rejust like wow, you are too much.

(01:01:05):
You're too good. I can't disappoint you because
you love me so much. And it's like, fuck, what the
fuck? It's like you got to love them
and then you got to you got you got to slap them around a
little. Talk a little bit of shit behind
their backs, but they can hear it.
You got to you. Got to fat shame them, yeah.
Man, they can't fit their clothes anymore, what the fuck.

(01:01:26):
You sure you need to have that extra cupcake, honey?
Are you sure you need another cookie?
Yep, you're looking a little gaytoday, honey.
You might want to Butch it up. Jesus Christ.
What? Sorry you're.
A girl. With the cookies.
And shit. No, I'm sorry.
It wasn't me. It's Patricia.

(01:01:47):
Any who? Any who.
But it's true, man, I've seen itup.
You never know. Parents, do your best.
Do your best. Show for your kids, get them to
talk and if you can't get them to talk, you get have them some
see some knucklehead like me andI can help them talk to you
more. Great scenes dude.
I I love these scenes. What's up, you hope?
What? I just hope to come by kidding

(01:02:07):
fucking that annoying I I already know they're going to be
fucking headstrong. I already know yeah, they're
going to be in. Dom is already fucking.
She knows she's just headstrong.So am I.
I'm so. She's about to be anxious.
You're going to be chill. Anxious or she's about to be
such like a fucking bratty asshole it's going to be

(01:02:30):
hilarious. Oh, I was talking about Don's
going to be anxious, so the kidsgoing to be trying to fight
against the anxiety, Yeah. No, that's the thing.
I think when it comes to being aparent, I think should be just
five. Oh, good.
He's going to be actually the strict one.
I'm going to be 100%. Yeah, I know you're going to be
fun. The idea you're like, it's my
kid. Here's.
Yeah, it's all right. Keep on going all.
Right, that's fine. Here's a bag of chips sleeping

(01:02:53):
off what? Here's some lays.
You got some lays all right, Yeah.
Did you say your goodnight, lays?
Goodnight Lays. You want to talk about it?
Let's eat some pizza. Make somebody sound good.
It's like a year old, like why do you eat pizza?
Why pepperoni? You know that shit?

(01:03:15):
Why it's so greasy? I can see it.
I can see it put. It in her bottle.
Starting this kid young Muscle milk that's.
Right. Black and white Caribbean too.
Like this kids gonna be this. Kids gonna be strong.
I think we're gonna have some good looking kids.
I'm gonna be honest. Yep, good hair, good looking,
good, good skin. I don't need them to be.

(01:03:37):
If they want to be an athlete, great.
If not, Oh yeah, I won't be. I won't be pushy, but if they
want to, then I'll be like, it'son.
There's like a scene in Malcolm in the Middle where like Malcolm
talks to his dad and he's just like, I want to learn how to
rollerblade like you, dad. And then he just turns and then
the lights go down and there's aspotlight on his face and he's

(01:03:59):
just like, if you go down this road, there's no going back.
No, no going back. Bryan Cranston.
Bryan. Cranston.
All right. Was there a third scene for her
or no? Yeah.
OK, let's do that. Yeah, All right, so the third
scene is championship game and that big BLOB, that BLOB is

(01:04:23):
weighing her down now, literallylike she's just, she's here.
She's looking like an old grandma with backspellums and
it's it's weighing her down. And now she's up at bat with the
game pretty much on the line. And so she swings and she's got

(01:04:47):
2 strikes and then her dad callsher over and he's just trying to
pep talker, trying to pep talkerlike, hey, what's going on out
there? Shaky.
But then all of a sudden shake it up.
We're bringing some noodles, which doesn't make the
situation. And then she gets embarrassed.

(01:05:07):
Of course, why wouldn't you? And she all of a sudden after he
asked what's going on? So she finally opens up and the
sweat monster consumes her and now she is the sweat monster.
Once you see, like the other point of view of this, she's

(01:05:31):
just sad. I know.
Sad. Girlie and her dad finally gets
to support her and be like, hey,just do your best, all right?
That's all I need from you. Just do your best and we'll go
from there. That's it.
And then she's like, oh shit, OK, great.
As soon as she gets a fist bump from her dad, which she's always

(01:05:51):
wanted. And now the little sweat monster
shrinks because now she has com,she has confidence.
She's actually ready to be the sacrificial lamb of the team and
then she gets hit by a ball to get out.
She's like, this is for you father.

(01:06:14):
Which is hilarious because you see the other point of view as
she just gets domed right in the.
Fucking head she didn't. Make any.
Sense. I was shocked.
Shocked. That big ass ball just.
Bro, what? She's like, I'm going to do
this. I'm so confident and like the
sweat monster goes away and she's like, yeah, I can fucking

(01:06:34):
got that. She's hyping herself up.
I'm like, she's about to knock out of the park because that's
every Disney show you've ever seen.
And she's like, Shaq, I'm going to do this for you.
Father Then leans in, just gets fucking annihilated by the
baseball. And I was like, OK, that
happened. My autism definitely got a
little tingle there. I got a little tingle in the

(01:06:56):
berries there. That was interesting.
Why? I was like, I did not see that
coming. Dude, that fucked me up.
I was laughing so hard. Girl, the way she just leaned
in. Girl, you disabled now?
Fuck it, like bitch you going tobe drooling the rest of your

(01:07:16):
life. No, why'd she take her helmet
off? What the fuck she trying to get
bitch? Is she committing suicide?
I. Think she did that makes you she
gave up. Like fuck it, I'm.
Done. Got my dad's approval that's.
All yeah, I can't get any betterthan this.
I can't get better than this. That's a high.

(01:07:36):
That's a high You're just going to disappoint your parents,
people just. Yeah, just take a ball to the
face, then it'll be fine. It'll be fine.
Main story Take a ball to the. Face wild brother.
So it was a wild turn of events to see like that monster crush

(01:07:57):
her, make her unable to focus, to think, to swing her arms.
You see where the dad starts talking to her as she gets more
in her head. She can't even.
So you're seeing the physical symptoms of anxiety play out
again, where now it's the numbness.
Now it's the I don't even know where my limbs are out of my

(01:08:18):
body, like I can't function. And then she becomes the
monster. She says, am I good?
Am I enough? So now it's the deep, deep shame
and like, worthlessness. And the dad's like, baby girl,
what's wrong with you? And then she rescinds even more.
And he said, girl, it's just about trying.
Like you're doing OK. Yeah.

(01:08:38):
She speaks out to see if it's safe and then he loves on her.
And it's funny too because everyone Spence goes like I
don't know what to say. What do I do?
I don't have to say to my wife, my child, my friends, my
professor and the dad fucks it up so bad.
He's. Like, well, you are my kid and
it is nepotism, but it's like that's not where you're on the

(01:08:58):
team, but like, maybe. And it's like, fuck me, what am
I? Focus.
So that feels like a very ADHD, like loving dad that's trying
but messes it up. And he still loves his daughter.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Awesome. That was an awesome.
No one says the perfect thing, Spence.
Like no friend, no partner. Doesn't matter if you're

(01:09:19):
autistic, neurodivergent or neurotypical.
Doesn't matter who you are, color, race, creed, you're going
to fuck it up. But long as you're doing your
best to support that person, to show up for that person, that's
all that really matters. And so he does the right thing
by his daughter. She does that little fist bump
thing, right? They connect.
And which I do with my clients, it's like, let's fucking go,

(01:09:42):
let's do, you got this. I got your back, win or lose.
But Spence, when I tell clients I got their back, win or lose,
they're like, do you think I'm going to lose my God damn it,
kid? God fuck it.
I'm telling you that if you lose, it will be fine.
I don't want you to be scared oflosing because you're going to

(01:10:04):
go on there and be anxious and kind of freak out and then you
will lose. But if you do do it, which could
happen, statistically it could happen.
It will be fine. We'll work through it.
You'll get better. You're going to learn, you're
going to grow, you're going to get bigger, faster, stronger.
But why do you? Why don't you just think I'm
going to win? Because that's not how life is.
And we don't know what's going to happen on game day.

(01:10:28):
My one person was like, do you think we're going to get
divorced? And I'm like, I'm not saying
that you're going to, I'm sayingthat with or without them, you
will be fine. You were fine before them.
You'll be fine without them. It's it's hard for a lot of
people to hear that, Spence, that everything will be OK.
And I don't know why it's so hard for people to hear that.

(01:10:48):
I don't know why it's so hard for his daughter to be like,
girl, you've got calm down. It's OK.
You know what that is? I don't know either.
I don't know. It's like.
Yeah, a barrier. Yeah.
It's like, Spence, you probably know this with some of your
friends or like people, you know, and they're like homies

(01:11:08):
like you, someone when they think that they're too bad at
something or they suck or they're worthless or they're
whatever it is ugly. And you're like, no, you're
funny and you're gorgeous or like you're a good person,
you're a great friend and like, no, how do you?
I don't believe you. And it's like, I don't know what
else to tell you other I can't force you to believe the good
things. They think that it's like you
have to say that. Which is wild.

(01:11:31):
Which doesn't make any sense. I don't have to say anything.
I don't. Have to say it.
I don't so I I think it's their I think they're also being just
they're being very heavy headed be headed.
Why did every time you say heavyheaded about things I always

(01:11:53):
think of that big ass fucking dinosaur?
It's with the it's got the horn,it's the one from the the Power
Rangers, the Black, the Black 1,whatever that one is.
Yeah, Triceratops. Triceratops.
Maybe it's Triceratops. Look at that.
We know shit. Yeah, Triceratops.
That that big ass. Is the Barney looking mother not
the Barney one? It was the other character in

(01:12:14):
Barney the woman. Yeah, it's Tracy.
I know, I know, there's really some dinosaur nerd in there.
Just that's actually. There's actually a cephalopod
like this is for men in black. Shut up, cephalopod.
I know that T Rex had feathers. Yeah, we got it there.
We go, yeah, I. Know it's on the balls, yeah.

(01:12:38):
Oh my God, it's just like a you're.
So gay today it's June and you're just like, you know what?
There we go. Rainbows and chocolate pie.
I mean, your favorite was that Superman flavor, so.
Hey, well hold a minute Supermanflavor in that game.
You say it's pretty pesto Pause.I told someone today if they

(01:13:02):
were like we were talking about food groups, of course, and what
they would be if they were a food, and I said they would be
that that Pop Rock ice cream. Did you ever eat the ice cream
that kind of exploded in your mouth?
The Pop Rocks? Pop Rock ice Cream No.
It was ice cream with those pop rocks on it, and it would just
be exploded in your mouth like pop.
Pop pop pop pop pop. No, I don't that.
Fucking man, maybe this is like a hood ghetto Saginaw thing,

(01:13:25):
maybe I don't know. We.
Had dipping dots and shit. No, no, no.
No, these would. Pop.
These would explode in your mouth.
It was a ice cream. It was an ice.
Cream. Yeah, you had the birthday cake
one, but then there was also theone that had the exploding
little Pop Rocks in it. Never.
Had that one, I said. That's what she was.
She was like an exciting, like Pop cross.
She's sweet but also kind of crazy.

(01:13:47):
You're a good ice cream, just soyou.
Know, I know. Did you give me diabetes girl?
Can you pop on my mouth? You're just like all the other
white women I know. The devil.
You get shit. You give me cancer.
Oh my God, We gotta get into theother seeds.

(01:14:11):
No one. You're the one that keeps taking
us off the road. We gotta get into the.
You're off roading today. It's fun.
I had no energy either. I feel like shit.
It's fun. The road with rainbows and.
Crop tops, crops, Leather crops,Crop tops.

(01:14:31):
I got crap tops I. Didn't say anything about
breasts. No what's?
What do you think of crap? How do you think of breasts?
I thought you were talking aboutman titties.
Titties I'm talking about. This is a lame conversation
right now Next, next. So let's get into.

(01:14:53):
This dating stuff because this is like the gym all.
Right, so we have Frank, we haveFrank who's a teacher but also
the umpire for this league and Ithink he's Australian.
Some shit pussy and yeah, he hassome.

(01:15:15):
So when he's doing his and this first thing, when he's doing his
umpire thing, he when he's starting to get criticism, he
immediately puts up this armor, right?
So it helps them protect him from all these things that these
parents and stuff like that say,which we know that parents have

(01:15:37):
big problems being at sporting events with their children
because they and we also see that Frank is really good at
being an umpire. He can spot things from far
away. He's doing this all by himself.
Usually you have like two or three umpires around the whole
field, but he's doing it all by himself.

(01:15:59):
And then he also sees he can replay things in his mind and
see them clearly. And he even did that for the
game-winning play. But like I said, he has this
this armor and at first for being an umpire, this armor is
very helpful, right, Can help him from all these comments that

(01:16:22):
people are saying he's just likeI did a good job.
I called it right, see you laterand leaves.
But then we also see that in hispersonal life, he also has this
armor which holds him back for when he's scared, and he sees it
as a way to protect himself frombeing.

(01:16:48):
Do we want to just go into the second scene?
Yeah, yeah. That's.
Fine. Yeah, yeah.
So real quick, we all have a shield and we all have that
defense mechanism, whether it's avoidance, anxious attachment,
but we all have that shield thatwe carry with us.
Some of us it's a mass, some of it's a code switch.
This scene real quick, it made me think of all the horrible

(01:17:09):
things you hear when you're an athlete on social media.
And so I think about all the athletes that are just getting
berated with like horrible shit.You suck.
You made me lose my fantasy game.
Like you should go kill yourself.
I think about the things that are being said to the women in
the WNBA rugby, things like that.
It's just some weird shit that gets said to them specifically
girlies, but dudes too. It's like I'm a human too, my

(01:17:33):
guy. Like I, you know, like you don't
just say I hope you die because you cost me like a $10 bet,
like. Calm down my guy.
Like. Some players don't take the game
serious, so maybe that's why youhate them.
Yeah. But also I feel like there's a
lot of ridicule that happens in athletics.
And I was seeing him try to bounce it all off as like a

(01:17:54):
mature, grounded individual. And the athletes are constantly
having to use their shield. So I that's what I envisioned.
Just athletes have to do a lot of shit.
I feel like, so I've been seeingthis a lot lately that
especially for the WNBA, they'restarting to like get into like
the social media sphere as the league is growing.

(01:18:17):
And the problem is though is that they are not used to the
shit talking that the men's for years the NBA does.
I mean, literally, we just saw Halliburton like they put his
face on Osama bin Laden's face because they beat the Knicks.

(01:18:37):
Like that's insane. Insane.
The Internet is wild dude. That's like shit talking to a
whole. Other I saw it and I was like,
I'm not commenting on this at all.
No. And so it's interesting to see
the two dynamics and the way that people on social media,

(01:19:00):
especially for women's sports, are either trying to combat that
or they just do it in a different manner that the men's
side is just like, they're just not on that level because you
can have one bad night and they will shit all over you.

(01:19:21):
I had people like, you have people with OKC talking so much
shit about them and you're like,bro, you're in fuck up Oklahoma.
Let's calm down. All right before another.
Oh my gosh, another tornado. Jesus Christ.
Comes in SO. They couldn't even fly.

(01:19:41):
The Pacers in because there was a tornado warning.
That's fucked up anywho, but I just find it very interesting
that like now they get a taste of like how men's sports.
Social. Media is and how toxic, but it's
also fun being in that, in that,in that sphere.

(01:20:02):
If you can handle if you can handle it and it doesn't,
destroy it if you can't. Handle it then.
Because it's not just in like basketball too.
It's it's in MMA, it's in, it's in soccer, it's in all of it.
And I've done a lot of posts on like Facebook and LinkedIn right
lately on the podcast and socialmedia should be fucking with
people bro. Even like someone like Ronda
Rousey when she got her ass, sorry when she lost a couple

(01:20:25):
times. I'm not going to say nothing too
bad because I don't want her to kick my ass.
But she was getting fried. She also.
Didn't she kind of did that to herself though?
She was talking a lot of. Shit, hey.
She's talking a lot of shit, talking about her daddy being a
pastor and shit. And like, you know, and that's

(01:20:48):
that's where you kind of get in trouble is like, then you play
that villain role, but then theydouble down on you once you
lose. Yeah, it's bad.
She got demolished. That destroyed her for a minute.
And you just see what a lot of athletes, a lot of dudes put up
with it. But, and I don't think it's
right that the dudes like Westbrook and like the shit that
happens in Philly with all the racist shit that people say to

(01:21:10):
like people like Westbrook constantly getting belittled.
And it's like, calm down. Like you don't get the right.
The Westbrook always says is forthe the Nuggets in Oklahoma City
and other places. Just because you pay a ticket
doesn't mean you get to dehumanize me.
So that's what I thought about when I saw this clip.
Yeah, they and also with that they bring it to like in person

(01:21:32):
too. Like they make, they try to
touch it like they can say something in person.
I'm just like stop to Westbrook.Like just it is from LA.
Just stop though, like you don't.
Just because you pay a couple $100, four, $100 does not mean
you get the right to demean people's humanity.
Shit on their game, not their humanity.

(01:21:54):
And certain people say things about his kids and his race
which are wrong. Yeah.
No, no, you should. You just talk about their game
and that should be it. That's it, yeah.
So shut the fuck up and watch the game.
True. Yeah, true.
Other people are watching. There's kids everywhere, like
have a good time. So that it made me think of that

(01:22:14):
made something so. Toxic.
The next scene is is the pretty much the longest.
It's the scene that's it's the last scene.
The next scene is the last scene.
Yeah, I mean, it's pretty. Much it's attenuations long.
I mean, we could split up. But you know, so this scene
right he we see that he broke upwith his long time girlfriend

(01:22:41):
and because he got scared that she wanted to marry him and he
was like, oh fuck, I don't know if I can do this.
And so we see that and then thisweird ass janitor just gets him
to go on the dating apps and then he starts doing this dating

(01:23:02):
app. Now I really liked how they
chose it. Like it was like a video game
and you do all these different things to try and get these
people to like you. And a lot of the times people
don't put things on their profiles even though it is who

(01:23:23):
they are. For example, he likes those
romantic sci-fi novels and he didn't want to put that.
He said, I like pizza. I'm an independent person and it
falls flat for him because a lotof the time people can sense
when you're not being genuine and that rolls over into who

(01:23:45):
they are dating wise because you're not going to be your true
self. And that'll manifest.
Like say you do start dating somebody and that'll manifest
into something else and then youstart getting depressed and
angry at this person even thoughyou're being you're not being
you. So why do that?
But in the first iteration of him being on the dating app, he

(01:24:08):
not only like closes blinds and it's like secretive.
This is he also is wearing the armor in the first iteration of
the game and that's where he is striking out.
And then he also strikes out in the coffee shop in person.

(01:24:28):
That was pretty bad. So let's.
Let's look at a couple things. So you want to look at the
dating app thing or the coffee shop thing because the let's
look horrible. Let's look at the dating I know,
let's do the coffee shop becausethe dating app will go into the
other part too. So let's do that.
The coffee shop scene, my guy. I've never seen a more accurate

(01:24:49):
representation of what it's liketo like, try to hit on someone.
Hey. And then find out that they were
just being nice to you and just being their customer service
wise, just like no. Yeah, yeah, it.
Was so awkward. Don't ever ask anybody out when
they're on fucking retail. Floor, I know, but it's.

(01:25:12):
So cringy. It's so I've seen it, I've seen
it happen. It's cringy especially.
I was at Lululemon where all theladies were just like, you know,
they were good looking and they all got asked out and they just,
it was like, hey, how you doing?You want to like go out like,
oh, you're like, oh, how do these pants look on me?

(01:25:33):
Like God dude, come on, just just go.
It's bad, man. The the coffee shop thing.
I've had multiple clients where like they don't go out much and
so they'll go coffee and like they'll just study because it's
on campus and and they're like, man, everyone's so nice there.
And there's one really cute girly this and that I'm like.

(01:25:57):
And I was like, you know, you could chat them up.
Doesn't mean that you're trying to date them, but I just want to
get you used to talking to people.
I've had it where they've asked people out.
I've had it where the coffee people have asked my clients out
and they'll be like, oh, I don'tknow.
And I'm just, it just feels awkward no matter what.
Because also they don't want to fuck up their place where they
always go eat coffee or drink, eat coffee.

(01:26:20):
How special? Are they Jesus Christ?
But like I would. Never want to fuck up one of my
safe spaces. No, that's pretty bad.
But he ran into it. But then that's like working at
the same place as like your significant other too, like
where it is you just like you don't want to be somewhere where

(01:26:45):
you're seeing them like 24/7, yeah.
You want to keep that a little separate.
And but he thought he was reading the signs and that she
was actually intrigued and it looked like she was actually
going to ask him out. And then it turns and I was
like, oh, no. And it's interesting on how this
part of that scene, the episode focuses a lot on like all the

(01:27:05):
noise and background and all theother humans.
And it's actually very, very anxiety provoking and hard for
him to articulate himself at all.
You already know he's a very anxious, insecure, shy guy.
Jeffrey feels worthless. He looks like he's a big boy,
right? Because he's a very, very, very
big boy. You know how hard it is for big
people to fucking ask people out?

(01:27:26):
It's it's horrifically hard. And she looks like she's super
cool. She's got like that hipster
vibe, the multi colored hair andshe's super nice and at the
coffee shop. You, you all know the vibe.
They're like the sweetest peopleever.
And you're like she digging, youwant to go get coffee And she's
like, Oh no, I think of you as abrother.

(01:27:46):
And I'm like. Oh, I've been told that.
Oh, that one hurts. I'm like, those are some of my
favorite. I'm not going to say what I was
going to say. Those are some of my favorite
videos. Oh my God, I'm.
Sorry you. Really fucking went there.
I went there. I'm sorry, but I'm like, girl,
I've done that. I mean, I've been putting the,

(01:28:08):
the, what they call it the not the dog house, the.
Friend zone. Friend zone.
I remember telling one girl, I'mlike, am I ever going to get out
of there? She's like, no, you're there for
life. I'm like, I can't fight my way
out. This motherfucker.
She's like, no. And I was still cool with her.
And then she's like, well, why are you being more distant?
You know, after like a couple months I was like, because
you're dating this asshole dude.I don't care if you're dating

(01:28:30):
another dude. I was just like but this dude.
Nothing's worse than begging forpussy, dude.
Oh, my God. And like, I, I wasn't begging
for it, you know, I'm saying like, yeah, I.
Just but once you go like, come on man, like like.
Oh, I didn't tell her. Come on man.
I was just like no dude, the dude was trash.
The dude was trash. Well, I'm not about to be your

(01:28:52):
friend when you banging this dude that I legitimately
dislike. Oh I hated him bro.
He was so weird. And then he ended up having me
hang out with him and one of hisfriends.
And his friend said some wild shit and I blocked his.
I don't block people, bro. Yeah.
I was like, I got to block you. And then I ended up having to
block him because I'm like, if this is your boy, I can't fuck
with you. Fair.

(01:29:14):
It was so it was. It was so weird.
And he was. So narcissistic and it was so
weird bro. I was like I also thought he was
gay too but then he's banging the chick that I like.
It was wild bro. You don't deserve her bro, You
don't deserve her. You don't deserve her eyes would
be with her. I'm.

(01:29:35):
So toxic dude I was asking out almost every girlie at the end
and met in my master's class because it's all beautiful
women. What am I supposed to do?
Not ask them out? They wanted it my.
Gosh, please. Please.
To be fair, I didn't. I didn't.
None of them said yes, so it's fine.
OK, good. None of them said yes.

(01:29:56):
The friend zone is deep and thenI finally.
I. Finally a girl's like, hey, Nas,
you want to go out on some dates?
And then I just tease her a bunch and then say no.
And she's like, you destroyed me.
How come you didn't like go out with me?
I thought you were joking because I'm so used to being
saying no to. She finally asked me how I was
like fuck you. You ruined the one, ruined the

(01:30:21):
one time someone actually want to go out with.
You dude, brother, it was so bad.
This is what's weird with me is like there's a be a bunch of
girls that like I'll flirt with and then they end up dating
dudes or marrying dudes that like kind of look just like me
and I'm like or like they'll be real.
I was like, did you actually didI did I have a shot with you?

(01:30:42):
Did I actually have a shot with you?
I think I did. Oh my God, dude, it's.
Wild. I hate dating.
I hate it. Apparently.
I hate it. It's just so much.
It's so much. You don't make it easy.
Let me. Tell you I'm going to be real
with you, I don't. Man on one of your dates, you
know, not easy. I definitely you are definitely

(01:31:02):
my Poly date that day. Jesus Christ, I didn't even know
I was like, burritos. Yeah, and music.
Burritos and music. Damn, this is my woman.
No. No, brother, it's I don't make
it easy. I don't why so complicated?
I don't know. Is it insecurity?
You make it complicated. It didn't used to be this.

(01:31:23):
Complicated when I was younger. That's because you got more to
lose now, yeah, than when you did when you were younger.
I'm telling you before. I'd just be like, see that?
I remember I just kept showing up for this one girl in college.
Just showing up, man. And then one time I eventually
just standing, like we were standing next to each other
talking about chemistry, and I just gave her a kiss on the

(01:31:44):
forehead and. She was like the fuck?
Yeah, any any rational person belike what the fuck?
Did I just get assaulted? Technically.
I know. If we want to start technique.
How did I Why did I do that? I gave her a Peck on the head.
We dated for a while after that.Sometimes you do cringey things,

(01:32:07):
and men, men do a lot of cringeyshit.
All right, she had this. Big ass forehead she had that
triceratose for. Jesus Christ, when you dated
that big ass forehead, you're going to have big ass forehead.
She had a big ass forehead and Puerto Ricans got big heads.
You're fucking. It would have been bald like
fucking too. So Conan motherfucking come out

(01:32:30):
looking like Hey Arnold. Jesus.
God. Football.
Head over there. Well, so as we pivot away from
the coffee subsheem, which is literally the.
Most social life. It's literally my worst fucking
nightmare, that scene. Yeah, asking out people is hard.

(01:32:50):
It's be real. It's hard.
It's hard. It's hard to do.
I don't care if you know the version of neurotypical, it's
hard also. Doing it in person is hard today
because everything's like done on your phone.
And so once you get into the realm of like actual reality and
being like this is me and then doesn't pan out and that that

(01:33:14):
hurts a lot more than it does like online and shit, because
you could easily just get over somebody online, but in person,
man, that's where it. It's got that sting.
Injection hurts way more. Yeah, and you've seen how
awkward it was, and he, like, tripped and fell.
That's how it goes, right? It's never like an elegant exit.
It's like, no, like I'm just randomly going to shit my pants
down in public. That's nice.

(01:33:39):
Did someone just diaper in here?Shit themselves.
I need to change panty the scene.
Let's move backwards when you saw him.
Yeah. Like he said something later
after he was talking to that girl on Tinder or whatever it

(01:33:59):
was like, yeah, so I left her before she left me.
That wasn't the vibe that I thought.
I thought no, I. Was going to lie.
Yeah, well, lie, but I didn't think he was going to left her
because he thought she was goingto leave him.
I thought that he left her because he was quote, UN quote,
UN ready, not ready. I thought he was too anxious

(01:34:22):
that he was going to fuck it up or that he wasn't good enough.
Yeah. And that's probably what it was.
But like, so it's it's a confusing place to push.
She was so cute and they love the books together.
And that was so romantic. And she's like, hey.
And then he pushes her away. It's like, my guy, what are you

(01:34:43):
doing? What are you doing?
You found the perfect person andyou push them away.
This actually happens. This is a real life thing that
happens all the time. I don't know, man, I didn't.
The armor is not just a protective thing.
The armor is also like this thing that stops him from being

(01:35:05):
able to talk. I don't I don't know what if
like this is from childhood. I don't know if this was like,
because it's a confidence thing in the in the roughing, but then
in his relationships it's like aa barrier for him to be with
people. Yeah, so he doesn't have to,
because then he doesn't have to get hurt.

(01:35:26):
And a lot of times when you're trying not to get hurt, you're
also not, you're not being who you are.
You're not being you. There it is.
You know, and I think that and you could tell like a like in
the when he first did the datingapp, he was wearing his armor.
But then once he took that off, he found that one chick who

(01:35:47):
likes all the same shit as. There you go.
It was a mask. I didn't catch on to that.
Yeah, yeah. It's essentially, yeah.
It's his mask, but he sees it aslike this shield of armor,
right? And I think he does that because
of those sci-fi novels. And they probably have like
armor. Or something.
Yeah, like there's some like fucking.
Knights and shit so you know he's.

(01:36:11):
He's very. Nerd.
Very nerd. If you like romantic sci-fi
novels, that's a whole other level.
And he wrote he and. He said they're and he said
they're. Definitely not innocent.
So he was talking sexual too? Yeah, like this is a kid show,
man. Not anymore, motherfucker.
But yeah. And he ruins that because he's

(01:36:33):
like, oh, maybe I have a chance with my fucking ex.
And then she's. Brother, brother.
So. Someone put a rang on it.
I thought that he was going to go to her and then everything
was going to be fine. So they they got a really good
plot twist at the end of these serves.

(01:36:54):
Yeah. And then he's crying at the
championship game. He can't even do the.
He can't even do his job. Yeah, because he's just
devastated. Sad.
So the the Tinder thing, brother, or the dating apps, I
hear continuously that it's hell.
I hear continuously that all my clients and that gorgeous,

(01:37:16):
handsome, beautiful people and they're like Nas, it's either no
matches or I get a match and you're ghosted.
No one talks. They're like, it's bad.
And there's been statistics and studies out, 'cause he just had
his 10 year anniversary, so it's11 years now Tinder's been alive
where it's actually significantly hurting people's
mental health. Tinder.

(01:37:38):
And I was like, yeah, because I feel like no one really gets to
the any real connection or good connections.
It's very, very rare, especiallyon Tinder.
Like, yeah, like it's because like they, you're so like you're

(01:37:58):
so detail oriented on the personfrom the get go, right?
You analyze all their photos, what they say on there.
You're trying to figure out what's the perfect thing to say
so I can get noticed by these people then.
And then once you do, then like they already have like 10s

(01:38:21):
hundreds of people that they're talking to.
So if you make one little mistake, whether it be like your
profile picture, whether it be your profile, whether it be a
message you send, like just saying hello, like some people
don't even respond to hell because like you like that's it.
Like. Yeah, they're like, Oh my God,
basic conversation. What the fuck?

(01:38:43):
You want me to ask you? If I try to go way left, then
you're just going to shit on me anyways.
So what's the deal here? And there's just so many
variables that go along with it that it's not good to do at all
because people act like they arelike everyone acts like they're
the perfect person when it comesto like these dating apps.

(01:39:06):
And unfortunately, unfortunately, nobody's perfect.
And and then once they see that little imperfection, they're
like done not talking to you anymore.
And I loved how in the in the video they had the perfect like
ghost go up with soon as they get ghosted, because that's what

(01:39:28):
it's like. It's just like you, you ask two
things and then it's boring or they don't like the answer and
then that's it. And it just goes to show maybe,
maybe we're being a little bit too dude, concentrated on the
wrong thing, maybe like. Brothers.

(01:39:48):
Just try. I just activated by the dating
app again and so I saw some of the old matches and in one of
them dude and one of them was sofucking cringe.
I should have screenshotted it. Fuck.
I sent a message and I was like hey how you doing?
And I commented on like something they had in their
profile. So like it was actually pretty

(01:40:08):
engaging and they didn't respond.
So the next thing I said I sent a GIF of like this dude being
like and be like this is what it's like fucking waiting for
people to respond on this fucking app.
I was like holy shit I was supersalty.
And that message a couple that had been like 4 years ago.

(01:40:29):
The time I was sick I would justsaid like GIF for like the first
message. So that's what I do.
I love doing GIFs too, like I usually send.
FYI, have any of you on the dating apps?
I've had clients do this and actually is very successful.
You just type in hello and then goat, GOAT and there's like a
goat that comes running and. It's so cute.
Hello, I love that goat GIF, it actually does very well.

(01:40:54):
I remember. Black Mike, I told anyway, this
was just an experiment. He's like this shit ain't going
to work. I'm like watch.
So he created a fake profile andjust said they in match with
some girls and then and then sense just the GIF and it
worked. I was like, I told you, bitch,
it works at a even higher rate for you because you're like a

(01:41:16):
thin, you know, like a black dude with a chubby dude.
I still get responses. I'm like something about that
goat, you know? Just get some.
Get some bro. It's funny, it's cute, it's
adorable, it's not super aggressive, it's not a Dingle
pick. This is true.
This is true. This is true.

(01:41:37):
A goat saying hello. It's not a Dick pic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's innocent.
I hate sending messages on thosethings, man.
It's it's very. Anxiety riddled.
Like it's like, oh, shit, do I say it?
Like in getting back to the scene, I mean, he does the same

(01:41:57):
thing, right? He waiting to say like, oh,
like, oh, what do you what do you like to do?
He's like, oh fuck. He looks at his graphite novel.
And then he's like, oh, I love reading romantic, like science,
science novels. And she's like, Oh my gosh,
that's awesome. It's always a crapshoot.

(01:42:20):
It's always, you'd never know. And I think people will have to
also understand that getting rejection is tough and it sucks
because they're rejecting as soon as you say certain things
or they look at your face so they're like you and you're
like, oh fuck, I'm getting rejected by somebody.

(01:42:42):
But it's also a good thing because sometimes you do need
that rejection just to bring youback down to earth sometimes
because some people like they, you know, like their shit don't
stink. And I think that sometimes for
dating apps, it does bring you back.
And you're like, OK, well, maybeI have to change a few things

(01:43:03):
about myself. Or you can.
Find the right one. Interest.
Yeah. I love that he gets hurt by
connecting with his real self. And then you're right, he sheds
the armor and they're talking about this and that and they're
frolicking through conversation and it's like obsessive, like
you're so excited to text that person to getting to know them.

(01:43:24):
It's like, holy shit. And when he tells her at the
end, like, I think I'm in love with my ex.
And then he goes. But let's be friends because
they get along so well, but you can't.
Do that to someone man, like after they want to date you and
you guys are really connecting. She was probably devastated.
But you know, that's that was that's life that well, and that

(01:43:47):
was his love of his life, too. They let.
Go Yeah, I get it. So.
That was his probably future wife, but it looks like he
pissed that away. He most definitely did.
Most definitely did. Yeah, and that's why he was
crying. But it's it's a good it's a good

(01:44:08):
representation of dating. And I loved how they turned into
a video game. I thought that was like, great,
because that's exactly how it feels like.
Yeah, it doesn't feel real. It feels very.
Disconnected. Disconnected.
And then you're also just faking.
Yeah, fake it till you're makingit.

(01:44:29):
Like, what does that have to sayabout you?
Like, jeez, like you have to fake who you are just to get a
fucking date. That sucks.
I don't. I've been in that situation.
I've been in that situation where it's like you just like on
my bio, oh, I like these things.And you're like, no, I can't say
that because they probably don'tlike that.
And you're trying to appeal to their wants and needs when

(01:44:52):
you're not even thinking about yourself and that.
And then that'll just make you unhappy because then you're not
being yourself. Yeah.
And it's just, it's gross. It's.
Tough. It's tough, man.
I have a lot of clients obviously that don't use.
I don't ever advise anyone to use Tinder or because it's not a
very good success rate. I have a lot of clients to do

(01:45:12):
well on Hinge. They seem to do really well on
Hinge, yeah. That's where I do well, so.
There you go. So I probably got to download
that and then shoot my shot on that, right?
It's a lot better because you can actually, like, comment on
things on their profile and be like, hey, I like this, too.
Yeah, that's How I Met my girl. It was like I commented like, Oh

(01:45:33):
my gosh. I love Phil Collins too, because
she did that. There you go.
Phil Collins And then that just went from.
There you're like. Fucking four years strong so.
You look like a triceratops. Yeah, that's my opening line.
Yeah. Do you want to look like?
Triceratops Legos, you look. Like the triceratops from Land
Before Time. Yeah, that's why I said Jesus

(01:45:56):
Christ. Jesus, no.
You look like the one that Rams things.
The dinosaur that Rams things with its big head.
That's you. Let's make some dinosaur babies.
Let's make some little petries cute as shit.
Yeah, man, it's and I usually push people towards that.

(01:46:19):
I got a couple, well, not one. I got one client that uses like
a bunch of different things like, you know, it is.
I got clients that use specific things, so Catholic things,
Christian things, Muslim things,queer related ones.
I got a couple clients that havetried dating.
What are those things called? Matchmakers.

(01:46:39):
They cost money though. I could.
Waste some. Money, dude, they cost and it
hasn't worked out either. But yeah, the one guy paid like
like I think it was like 1020 grand.
Nick, Hey, me, motherfucker. I'll tell.
I'll coach you through it. Shit, I said.
You know, they set them up with people and it's not guaranteed
either, man. I've seen people use this thing

(01:46:59):
called Raya. It's more of a like a elite
thing. If you have ever heard of Raya,
it's more like you've got like asocial media presence or like
some influencer type status or like you're just kind of famous.
It's kind of like that. And there's like a vetting
process and you got to apply andit takes like months to get in
and. That's just this is where famous
people fuck. Yeah, pretty much.

(01:47:22):
And I was like, I was like, motherfucker, you ain't famous
like homeboy, I'm done. I'm like, you ain't.
I got like 10,000 followers though.
What? Yeah, what I know it's not even
that so I've seen it's only a couple brand.
I'm like you, you ChatGPT D yourresume to get on this bitch for
sure. Say.
What? Trying to hook up with Doja ***

(01:47:44):
Oh shit. She scares me.
She scares me. She scares me, she's sexy as
hell, but she scares me with heroutfits.
Like that one demon red one withall the nubbies on it.
I can't. Hey, hey, bring me to hell,
bitch, bring me to. Hell, I ranchy coochie right to.
Hell, she's just like, why is iton fire?

(01:48:07):
What the fuck does that mean? This guy I was talking about
earlier. Yeah, man, it's the apps are
wild. I just know that none of my
clients enjoy it. A lot of them think it's
unauthentic, but I'm like, it's it's really hard to meet people
in public. As you become adults, it's a
little bit even harder. College, it's easier because
you're around so many humans, hanging out parties.

(01:48:30):
Adulthood's a little bit harder.You got to actually go out there
and put yourself out there. Yeah.
And there's other factors that go into that, whether like
you're drinking or not and then that whole thing and.
Not everyone drinks. Yeah.
And you don't want to be somebody who, like, doesn't
drink and then they drink and you're like, this is a bad

(01:48:50):
situation. Yeah.
I was just watching the show with Penn and Teller called Penn
and Teller bullshit. They pretty much, like, go
through all these different topics and things, and they say,
like, whether or not it's bullshit, it's a good show.
And they went through like dating, especially it was like
early 2000s. And so they were doing like all

(01:49:11):
these dating not apps, but they were doing like the, you know,
where you can have like where you go like it's like roulette
where you go from like each person to each person and stuff
like that. And everybody's just, it's the
same shit though. Everybody's because if you have
like 3 minutes to tell somebody who you are and that's not
enough time to talk to somebody,3 minutes, that's nothing.

(01:49:35):
So and the way people's attention spans are, especially
on social media, you think it's not gonna be on these dating
apps as well? They're just like, oh, bored.
Oh, bored. And they just keep on going,
keep on going. It's like an addiction.
It is, it is, you know, 'cause it's.
So I have clients that do it just when they're bored, dude, I

(01:49:57):
have client, they're not even looking for hookups, searches or
if you're dating. They just do it 'cause they're
bored. So some people are on there just
wasting people's time. Yeah.
Yeah. They are, it's, it's tough out
there. And imagine being like ADHD,
autistic PTSD, like dating is even tougher because now you
limit the spaces in which you'llgo into the anxieties, the

(01:50:17):
stimulation, the traumas which have happened in certain places,
the triggering shift from ex partners and where you maybe
have dated or went to by having these divergencies only
complicate dating. The body dysmorphia that people
are going through, right? And as we know, like a lot, a
lot of folks who are bigger now.And but that's still fucking

(01:50:41):
like everyone because you see social media and everyone's
gorgeous and everyone's thin andit's just, it's tough, man.
So I really feel sorry for him because he loses the a loved one
and he loses a good one and he'sa good one.
Yeah. All my clients, anyone listening
to this, please please please please please please don't run

(01:51:03):
away from a good one. Talk to them, communicate.
Talk about your anxieties, your trepidation, your self worth
issues, your abandonment issues,your parents breaking up, you
being cheated on. Talk about it.
Don't push away someone until you know or you have data or
they showed you that they are trash and don't just judge them

(01:51:26):
if they do one or two things like that address like I got
people like Nah should I break up with my boyfriend because I'm
anxious? And I was like huh?
I'm a. Little anxious should we break
up? Yeah, like he's going to move
away. Should I break up with him?
No. No.
Like you, Petri, he's a good boyand he treats you good.
But you don't break up because he's going to be long distance.

(01:51:50):
Give it a shot. Give your balls a tug.
Dating is so hard dude, so I'll I'll give people updates in the
following podcast. Hey y'all, Still none?
Hey y'all, I'm going to take my fucking GoPro.
I'll take my GoPro with me on the day and just recording it.
It's like hey how you doing? This is for my followers.

(01:52:13):
This is for and it's going to bea coffee shop.
Girly too. You know it is.
I'm joking. I don't even like coffee.
It makes me anxious. Yeah.
Just going to barf on her. You deserve this.
He he broke my heart. She broke my heart for a little
bit more so because she's so innocent as a child.

(01:52:34):
But he broke my heart because obviously I feel very much like
him. So that's kind of tough to
watch, but it was good to watch.I'm I'm going to watch the rest
of the series. Hopefully all of you do that as
well too. I'm going to check it out in the
month of June. Hopefully we can talk about more
episodes in July. I think so.
I think we will, because there'sa lot.
To unpack, let's do it. I'm ready for it.

(01:52:57):
So we'll be able to do that. All right, So how about y'all
comment? What's your favorite episode of
the series? What is it?
What do you? Which one was your favorite?
Was it Lori? Was it?
Was it Frankie blue? Was it Frankie Blue or was there
any of the other episodes in there?
Let us know in the comments. And yeah, so with that, I'm

(01:53:21):
Spencer. That's nice.
Different special pack. Hi everyone, much love and
remember take care of yourselves.
Or don't. It's completely up to you.
Peace.

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