March 11, 2024 • 36 mins
Ramadan is here! What have you prepared for it?
We extend our thoughts to those who may find the month challenging, such as new Muslims and individuals without Muslim family members, emphasizing the importance of inclusion and support within our community. As we highlight the value of charitable acts and community integration during the last ten days, we also ponder the exceptional nature of this time for spiritual and communal connection.
Wrapping up, we delve into the trove of Islamic resources that can enrich our Ramadan experience. From utilizing calendars and revisiting the Seerah to engaging with scholars and Islamic streaming apps, we cover a spectrum of educational tools that can help you get the most out of your Ramadan!
As we express our gratitude and excitement for the month ahead, we welcome you to join the dialogue, share your insights, and grow with us in Eman. Our discourse is laced with the hope that Allah SWT accepts our deeds and prayers, and that this Ramadan leaves an indelible mark on our hearts and communities.
Please do not forget to donate and give as much as you can to people suffering around the world. Remember our brothers and sisters in Gaza, Sudan, Congo and many other places.
Visit our IG page at https://www.instagram.com/dc_overcoffee/ to join the conversation!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Assalamu alaikum, welcome to difficult
conversations where we tackletaboo topics in a safe space
through empowerment andeducation.
The information on this podcastis for informational purposes
only and should not beconsidered professional mental
health advice.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Assalamu alaikum everyone, welcome back, and
today we are recording episodeon Ramadan and what's the month
of Ramadan is going to bring forus, and we're going to share
our own personal experiences andwhat we are looking forward to
it.
So I want to go ahead and getstarted by asking my two
co-hosts and about the thingsthat they are looking forward to
(00:40):
in this month of Ramadan.
So what are some things thatyou guys looking forward to in
this month?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
For me, honestly, like I know, it's not the
beginning of the year in theIslamic calendar or otherwise,
but I always look forward toRamadan being like a spiritual
reset for me.
And you know this is a timewhere it's the month of the
Quran and it's a time where youreally try to get, at least for
me, as close as you can to theQuran, trying to get rid of at
(01:11):
least one bad habit and developa new habit that you can
hopefully continue, whether it's, you know, if you are not
praying, starting to pray if youare praying, you know, doing
like a sunnah if you are alreadydoing a sunnah, trying to maybe
do a couple more sunnahs, orincorporating, you know, night
(01:33):
prayers and stuff like that.
So for me, it's more of liketrying to cleanse myself
spiritually and physically aswell.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Yeah, I think that's the same thing for me as well,
except I feel like every RamadanI try it's almost like a New
Year's resolution.
I kind of over, I take on a lotof things, and then I'm like
okay.
And then during the month ofRamadan, I'm like okay, you know
, I just focus in this one area.
(02:05):
So this year too, I feel likethat's what I'm doing.
I think, like Abshurah said,for me it's a spiritual
cleansing and it's a reset.
At the same time, it's alsosome.
It's like Ramadan is like themonth that I am the prime, like
the example you know, like, andI I try to keep that same energy
(02:30):
throughout the year.
So I tried to set myself offlike it's almost like a New Year
for me, ramadan when it comesto spiritually.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
I tried.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
you know, I have this energy and this optimism about
like, how curious I am about myDean, how in depth I try to look
into things and how I involvemy Dean and everything in my
thought process and so on and soforth, and then normally after
(02:57):
Ramadan, to be honest, it kindof like it's down a little bit.
So I just have to.
My goal every year is like makesure this time it lasts longer,
and then every year there hasbeen some elements of that
Ramadan that has stayed with methroughout my life, if that
makes sense.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Do you guys plan in advance on how to get ready for
Ramadan or do you guys do itsimultaneously as the month
comes along?
Because right now we're inShaban and a lot of people are
fasting and getting ready forRamadan and getting mental,
spiritual operations and whatfasting might be like for them.
How do you guys kind ofnavigate that?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
I think ideally, you know I try to plan it out,
whether it's the cooking, themeals or, you know, breaking
down the Quran and being like,okay, this week I want to really
get to this milestone and thenthe following week I want to get
to this milestone, but I don'tthink it.
I have a hard time having itstick, you know, having it
(04:04):
having me like really goingthrough what I actually plan to
do, because things come up andyou know you're invited here,
you're invited there, and itcomes so fast and by the time
you know it, I'm like I findmyself in the middle, like 15th
day of Ramadan, and I'm justlike, oh my gosh, what did I do?
(04:25):
I didn't.
You know I didn't finish asmuch Quran as I wanted to.
I didn't.
So it's like the first you startoff super motivated you know,
and then by the second week youkind of in the groove of things
and kind of like the third week,I'm like, okay, like it's
scrambling time, right, what canI finish, what could I do, and
(04:46):
stuff like that.
So that's what I want to changethis year.
I feel like I want to reallyput less things on my plan, you
know, on goals, so that at leastI am able to hit at least one
of them.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, the thing is that sorry.
I was going to say how I do it,how I prepare for my month of
Ramadan.
I honestly make those to-dolists that I have, but the thing
is that I even though I'mmindful of the whole 30 days.
So I kind of break it downthree ways.
The first 10 days of Ramadan isbasically a preparation right,
(05:23):
how I can mentally, physically,spiritually be present with that
process.
So it's going to be up and down, so I'm not like 100% going
into that one.
And then the middle is likeokay, I'm kind of dipping again.
I'm noticing my like the levelof motivation is a little bit
lower.
The actual 10 days is what Iwork for.
That's my ultimate goal.
That's where everything goes to.
(05:45):
That last 10 days, like sleepis like not like something on my
mind, because I'm like goinghard on the last 10 days, with
even spirituality.
I go really hard in the last 10days because I feel like, if
this is my last Ramadan, thisbecause there are people that
you fast with or might not bethere If this is my last Ramadan
, what did I do in the last 10days of it so that I feel like
(06:10):
Allah has forgiven me for thethings that I have not really
well done for the first two 10days that I have not been really
well done of it, and a lot doesnot expect perfection from us,
and the thing is that that'spart of it, and so the thing
that I do is like I really gohard on that.
But, like you said, I don'thave so many things on my list
(06:31):
this year.
It's like kind of.
I was talking to a friend theother day and we all was talking
about like she said maybe weshould figure out a lot of
specific things that we wantedto do, and then I said I've been
really struggling for really awhile with Qashuah and prayer.
I feel like I am hasty in myprayer.
I feel like I'm running throughit.
(06:52):
I feel like I don't even do thethick hair, the little like two
minute thick hair that it takesfor us to do, because I just
pray and then I run andsometimes I don't even remember
which Rakha that I'm on and thenso I have to do the last, you
know, sujood, in order for me torecover, because my mind is
like going 3000 miles while I'mpraying, and I think I'm praying
(07:15):
to be mindful is the one thing,because I feel like if my
prayer is not in order.
I don't think everything elsematters, and so that's what I'm
hoping, that I can kind of likehold on to it.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Yeah, I relate so much to everything that you were
saying.
For me, too, the idea of likebeing mindful, being present,
being making sure that you havea realistic goal.
For me, for a very long timegrowing up, I think Ramadan was
the prep, like a physicalpreparation, like that's what
(07:48):
got us like ready to Ramadan, solike you would like clean your
house, and then there's like awhole cooking session that
happens right Like you do, like20, not 20, like 200, 300, you
know, wrap some booze and likethe scooters and everything.
So, like your house is clean andyou have this smell of the
(08:09):
aroma of the scoot and, you know, like the aroma of some mousa
that's just been like preparedand frozen and all of these
things, that's what, like when Iassociate Ramadan is coming,
it's more of like there's aphysical reaction to Ramadan.
To me there's a spiritual onetoo, but then the physical one
(08:29):
is that's more like there.
I'm trying to.
So therefore I've carried thatto my house as well, with my
family too.
Like we're clean the house andwe prepare Ramadan, like the
physical aspects of it.
But then now I'm trying toinclude, like the spiritual
aspect where we're likebasically create your own
(08:49):
tradition.
Exactly.
Yeah, so listening to like we,instead of waking up in the
morning and you know we playQuran and the stereo system in
the house and everybody's justkind of trying to make it part
of our day today I'm kind ofgetting our mind to like, okay,
you know, this is another daywith Quran and like, okay, we
(09:12):
listen to another you know Jews,whatever the case might be and
then we kind of also have theseconversations about like me and
my husband, we send each otherlectures because you know your
algorithm.
Also during Ramadan, timechanges because you're focused
on you know the related stuff.
So we send each other videosand we talk a lot more about
(09:33):
like you know the lectures thatwe listen to.
That's like the our dinnerconversations.
So, it's kind of gets integrateda little bit so that's what
we're trying to do a little bitmore focus on, too, but more
consciously.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
I'm kind of curious now that Bonnie brought it up,
what are some new tradition thatare you guys are implementing
in your household that is notsimilar to what your family are
used to like?
Bonnie saying that she wants toimplement more spirituality to
the process of, like, the monthof fasting.
What are other traditions thatyour tradition that your kids,
like you, wanted to expose yourkids to?
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I think for me, I really, really want to get my
kids excited about Ramadan, youknow, get them really like
excited about the spirit andteach them in the process.
You know, my daughter, sheshe's like, oh, you know, we
should, you know, decorateRamadan.
Ramadan's coming, let's do,let's put lights up and you know
(10:27):
, and all that stuff.
So I have a couple days plannedto just do some crafts and make
the house like warm and maybeput up like like a little.
Have you guys seen those videoswhere they like carve out like
a whole minaret and a mustedthing for the kids?
Yeah, and maybe like just putit in a corner and just just get
(10:50):
them really excited about it?
Because I think, growing uplike I, the things that I really
loved about Ramadan was likethe throw it outside.
I remember like I feel like myfavorite memory is do you
remember like North Masjid whenit used to be so packed in
Ramadan?
(11:10):
Yes, no, yes, and then we usedto like play outside with like
the 10th and stuff, and it wasit was in the summertime and so
like that's one of my favorite,favorite memories and just my
goal this Ramadan is getting mykids involved and just getting
them excited about going to theMasjid, why we pray, why we do
(11:32):
trauma and what the purpose ofRamadan is.
Because now they're at that agewhere they're like why, why,
why so and I can.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
I can say that you know, for me I had to always say
like I had two separatechildhoods, right, and I feel
like my relations with my Deanand like the where the seeds of
my Dean was like planted in mylife was in my earlier childhood
and it's because of this chaosthat would erupt in our
(12:04):
household because of Ramadan andit's, like I said, the physical
aspect of like my mom cleaningthe house and like putting new
curtains and new you know shedoes and like new decor is, and
my dad going and getting likenew stereos, like whatever you
know like, and you just feel theexcitement in the air and then
(12:26):
I think also making sure likeyou're getting your kids, like
I'm sure I said where it's likeRamadan's coming.
Oh my god, Ramadan's two daysaway, three days away, and then
when it is there, kind of makingsure, like my favorite time was
either iftar or going toTarawee sorry, going to Tarawee,
(12:48):
because back home the, theMosque was in Mercato and the
one we went to anyway was inMercato and the Mercato is like
the biggest market in Americaand in Africa.
And the biggest open market inAfrica.
And imagine that big open markethaving some musa's cooking and
(13:08):
like all the smell and everybodylooks like you, because all the
Muslims look like theydescended in that space when
you're a little everybody coversdoing.
Yeah, and so I like the unisonaspect of it.
Ramadan tastes so good andfeels so good when you're back
home or when you're like in aMuslim country.
So I think getting that, thataspect that made me love like,
(13:33):
have love for the Dean, and Ithink I can honestly say, like
the second part of my childhoodwhere my little sister grew up
in, she didn't have that becauseRamadan and our family was the
fasting aspect, there wasn't alot of excitement.
We did Musa's, we fasted, wewashed dishes, we went to Masjid
, came back Kalaas, so shedidn't have that like early
(13:57):
childhood experience.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Yeah, early childhood experience.
So for it more like ritualisticversus like exactly spiritual,
exactly.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
So something kind of like a to-do list.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
And for her it was mostly aboutstarving, like you know what.
I mean Literally like so shedidn't have and I honestly like
feel like the reason why shefeels she might not have the
same like beautiful, likeexcitement about Ramadan as I do
(14:27):
, you know about it is becauseof that difference, like I got
to experience, like what got methrough the second half was the
first half of that makes sense,and the first was that was the
only thing.
So I know that, what it feelslike to and what the outcome
could be if you don't have thatwith your children.
So that's what I'm trying to do.
My kids are a little too small,they won't understand, so I
won't be doing the whole likedecoration thing, but like I'll
(14:50):
be like here's new clothes.
They, like you know, not musicto me.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
But I think kids, you know there's, so even though
you know there might be young,they're so attuned to like your
attitudes and energy and stufflike that.
And so I think for the Ramadan,even though you're tired, even
though you're hungry, just kindof like holding yourself back
and kind of being as excited asyou were, as bubbly as you were,
(15:14):
because then they don't, youdon't want them to associate
that mom is tired, mom is, youknow, not as excited to play
with me because of Ramadan.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yeah, so that's actually a good point.
And I think the biggest aspectof it for me.
I would say that Ramadan wassimilar like for all of us.
In many aspects of it too, Ithink it changes over time.
As the older you get the thoseattachment that you have kind of
minimize, because everything inthe US just feels so maintained
(15:44):
and doesn't have similarexcitement, unless you are one
of those individuals who arevery excited, very like looking
forward to planning, and I knowsome people who actually does
that for their kids, that go allout for it, um, but it's kind
of noticing that and hearing youguys talk about changing those
tradition and kind ofimplementing that into your
(16:05):
family.
It's something that I feel likeit's always good for all the
families to have.
But my other question for youguys to also is to kind of like
what is the difficult aspect ofRamadan when you are kind of, if
you can think about it, likewhat was the difficult thing
about Ramadan, that you're likethis is just getting too long
for me to kind of deal with it.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Is it the food?
Is it the?
Speaker 2 (16:28):
multiple things that you're running after.
Is it the coffee?
What is it the difficult?
Is it like the interactions?
Speaker 1 (16:34):
I think for me, like my biggest hurdle I would say to
um, my spiritual developmentand kind of I feel like getting
the best of Ramadan is the wholecooking aspect of it.
Like if I could like outsourceall that, I feel like I would
have the best Ramadan Um,because you know you, you are
(16:56):
probably cooking for from liketwo hours a day, right, and if
you haven't prepared yoursambusa or whatever, that's a
whole ordeal in itself and bythe time you're done cooking um,
you can't even like stand inTeraweeh and fully be present
and pray because you're just sotired and exhausted from the
cooking and um and all thatstuff.
(17:18):
And a lot of times I feel likeit, it falls on our shoulders.
Yeah, um, and my biggest thing,the Ramadan, is trying to find
ways to, you know, get help or,you know, trying to put that
through a system somehow so itcan make Ramadan less about
cooking and more about um, thesuperiority and and Quran and
(17:41):
stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Yeah, I mean, that's the same thing for me too, but
I'm a Kipirah buck, I think forme the food part is very hard.
Uh, the first five to 10 days II have, or you know, high
metabolism.
So I'm consistently snackingall the time, and my coffee, my
God, I I get like migraines of Idon't drink coffee, so my body
(18:04):
you work from home right?
Well, now I do, and that's alsothe other hard part is that, um,
before, actually like as assoon as like three years ago, I
used to work very physicallydemanding jobs where I had to,
like in hospitals I had to go to, like you know, like three,
eight floors a day, walking upand down, right, and it's not
(18:25):
just me, there's a lot of peoplethat work in different
professions, that are they'rephysically exerting themselves,
and that's very hard, especiallywhen you are physically
exerting yourself, you'refasting, and if you're someone
like me, that's, you know,that's addicted to coffee and
you can't drink your coffee andyou're fighting migraines and
you can't take medicationbecause you know, like, it's
(18:45):
like it's just a recipe, so like, until my body starts like
getting, uh, getting caught upwith the system, uh, then it's
the first 10 days is likenormally a dread.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Have you thought of like trying to take coffee out
now while you're ahead of thegame, Like two weeks in?
Speaker 3 (19:05):
I do that, I do that and that's why after 10 days
normally like cause it takes,like for my body kind of
switches really fast.
It takes about 20 to 30 days tolike forget about it, cause I'm
really programmed into coffee.
That's why I don't touchnothing in my life Like no, no,
who got nothing.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Cause I'm like if I touch it I'll have it, you'll
have the juice of my life.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
So, um, I I try to cut off.
Like you know, I only drink aspecific amount of coffee, you
know, throughout, maybe like amonth before.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
And then by that 10 day mark I normally am good.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Yeah, yeah, I think for me, I would say the first
week is insane.
It's the hardest.
It's the hardest, yeah, it'sthe hardest, and it's like
especially the headaches andstuff, cause I don't I don't
usually get headaches unless I'mhungry or I don't have coffee,
yeah, so.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
I think for me, I would say that I'm even I'm
trying to make up like mypassing and.
I still have a couple of weeks Ihaven't done it.
And everybody, when everybodytalks about they're doing it, I
feel so guilty because I'm like,but I have to drink coffee on
Monday and I have to work andsee how my lung, my schedules
are.
And I look at my calendar andthen I like justify it.
(20:21):
I was like, but look how manymeetings that I have.
Yeah, I need the coffee.
That patient, I need two coffee, I need two coffee for all of
this.
So I'm like maybe I shouldstart on Sunday and then kind of
going into it so, and thenSundays, like I have a breakfast
that I go with friends.
I can't do it on Sunday.
So that's what's happening, andyou know.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
And it's so much harder to make up or fast by
yourself it is.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
It is something about Ramadan Like that's why Ramadan
, like after the first week, iseasy, because then it gets like
your body get used to theroutines and I think well, I
would say this, and I thinkeverybody would agree with this
Allah gives you some mercy thatyou did not even know existed in
Ramadan.
That makes even that coffeeaddition that I also have a lot
(21:08):
more easier, because then, eventhough I have a headache the
first couple of days, somehowI'm okay after that and the
energy comes from a place that Ido not expect it from.
And I think when I say it ishard, I'm not saying it's not.
And I do go through all thestuff that you guys are
mentioning the food, the cookingpart, I don't, but you know the
(21:29):
aspect of like coffee and food.
I'm like, I love my food.
I love I don't have to eat ameal but I should have snacks.
Yeah, so it's, it's a lot tonavigate, but I would say
inshallah, allah makes it easy.
But the best part about it Iwould say that is the fact is
that we are collectively goingthrough it together.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Yeah, and I think you know, the biggest thing about
Ramadan is this is the time,like if you think about it as
like, like a business person,right, this is the time where
you can get the most out of yourabada.
So, true, right, like,especially the last 10 days, if
you time it right or, if youlike, if you're giving, if you
(22:08):
set up like a giving thing andyou're giving every day one of
those days, you're going to landon laylatul qadr.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
So I feel like we have to at least for me, I think
about it that way and goinginto it and saying you just have
to catch one day, one dayExactly Do it the whole 30 days.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
The whole 30 days.
The water, the day, what is theday?
Speaker 1 (22:29):
You're good, yeah, you know, and it's a reset, like
for the rest of the year, andjust exerting yourself and
holding yourself back a littlebit.
You know, mudir, at the tyingyour waist, and just you know
going all in yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
I remember I took this class, called visionary,
with Muhammad al-Sharif.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
May Allah give him jannah al-Fardaus.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Muhammad al-Sharif always emphasized.
He said the last 10 days iswhat you have, so use it as like
the last marathon that you areworking your every energy for.
So he will like talk to usabout how to take, make your, to
do us, get your, do us ready,which is like, you know,
spirituality, physical,financial, family, personal.
(23:16):
Do us, or you know, umma, do uslike the old, the doors that
you're making for the people ofumma, and so it's kind of like
you go at it, like you don'ttalk to people, you don't like
you become that secludedspiritual person and use that,
the benefit of that.
That last 10 days and I think alot of time that, because a lot
(23:37):
of the last 10 days in themasjid we spend so much time on
like doing um fundraising, whichkind of is important to do so,
but the fundraising kind of limb, the excitement of the musjid
going to it and and I love thathow there are some messages that
have one night of fundraising,not every single night, so
people can enjoy the experienceof it, like okay, I know I'm
(23:59):
going to be donating the 27ninth, so I'll bring my money
then Right, and versus likeevery single night and kind of
you know, getting like thosenegative experience away from it
, because I think it's part ofit.
Donating and taking care of ourour you know, our omas is
something about our religionthat we have to do in the month
of Ramadan.
So I would say that kind ofleaning into those level of like
(24:24):
the last 10 days.
What do I do?
How do I kind of use those time?
I think that was something thatI intend to kind of focus on,
even though the hard days areexisting.
So that's how I usually kind ofgo with it, yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
I think I also wanted to just um because I maybe have
been in this position a littletoo many times than I would like
to count being either, like,physically ill or, if you're
pregnant during that time, um,just making sure that, like
because you're not physicallyable to fast, it doesn't mean
you can't utilize your Ramadan.
(24:59):
So I think, um any energy andany any um amount of effort that
you could give you Ramadan, Ithink you should have mercy on
yourself about it and then don'tget discouraged that you're not
going to be able to give, youknow, the Ramadan the most, the
same amount of energy thatyou've given in the past or that
(25:21):
you're able to give normally Um, so, just having mercy on
yourself, being patient withyourself and then being able to
just, you know, having that Niaof like this is what I can do
right now, because either I'mreally physically ill and, you
know, whatever, whatever, eventhough I can't fast because of A
, b and C reasons, because ofmaybe I can't, you know, I'm
(25:41):
physically unable to, you know,go to Tarawee every single day.
This is what I can do.
And then just making sure youknow you let's not human being.
Allah understands, allah knowswhat you're going through more
than you.
Yeah, so just making sure youhave a lot on yourself, having
mercy on yourself, having more,and then also understanding
other people to have mercy onthose people Stop judging.
(26:02):
You don't see.
You see a person not fasting.
You don't know what's going onwith their health.
Yeah, you see a person not inTarawee.
It's okay to ask grade.
Hey, I didn't see you.
I didn't see you, but don'tjudge, yeah and yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
And I think that I think that brings up a good
point where, like a lot of times, you hear people that say like
oh, ramadan, muslims or whatever, you don't know that you know
this person's Ramadan could bethe Ramadan that changes their
life.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Right, that brings them around, and if you see
somebody that you know it'sdifferent or whatever that you
haven't seen in a long time,encourage them.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Like take them in.
And then the other thing I'dreally like to say is that you
know all of the things that welove about Ramadan the family,
the family time, you knowgetting excited about it.
There are people, there arepeople in our community that
don't have that right, that theydon't have.
You know, their family mightnot be Muslim and you know this
could be the their first Ramadanthat they're experiencing.
(26:56):
So, you know, try to extend ahandout, try to extend a hand to
, you know, those in yourcommunity that might need that
support, you know might needthat.
Um, it could be just one thing,you know, could be one evening
of you providing if thought forthem, but it could mean the
world to them as well.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
Yeah, and also like this.
For some people, this is thefirst Ramadan they're
celebrating without their familymembers.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
So the idea of celebrating Ramadan, the idea of
participating in Ramadan, mightbe a traumatic situation for
them because, hey, my mom usedto be the one that got that
holds it down, but she's gonenow.
My dad used to be the one thatyou know, now he's not here.
So you know that making sureyou know Ramadan is about your
Dean and about your, your Akraand everything else, but also
(27:42):
take a look to your right and toyour left and see what's going
on.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Yeah, I remember like one of my hardest Ramadan.
I would say it would be 2019.
Um, and it was like right afterCOVID hit and I was in Saudi
and like it was completelockdown.
Um, and I spent literally 30days making if thought by myself
in my little dorm room at workand it's just, you know it.
(28:09):
It was probably one of like thehardest, hardest Ramadan that
I've ever experienced.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Yeah, and there are people like that in it, and I
wanted to add to that is thatthis Ramadan we are, as far as
our trauma concern, that we'redealing with a lot of people in
the world that's suffering, um,please remember Gaza and members
to then remember Congo,remember um people of Ethiopia
and remember all of us in thisaspect of it and use your DIN
(28:39):
donation to those spaces Um,because I think, at the end of
the day, even though our masjidsare can have their own bills to
take care of, but I think thoseare the people who are in the
most suffering at this momentand your donation will be much
more benefited in those spacesas well, if you're able to.
Um.
I think when we talk about thisexperiences, I wanted to kind of
(29:02):
highlight stat Sometimes we maysound like it was speaking from
a place of like knowledgeableand privileged space, but we are
just sharing a thought thatwe're with you in aspect of you
going through these experiencesand being also kind of reminding
one another on the things thatare around us as happening, as
we are kind of embarking on thisincredible month as Iran corner
(29:25):
and being able to kind ofbenefit from all aspect of it
and maybe using a lot of ourtime to speak to a love for this
incredible people who areconstantly suffering in this
space and so that they are stillusing that moment, those time
(29:46):
where the shaitan is locked outand it's just you and a lot and
your own nuffs.
So using that space as a benefitto kind of stalking to Allah
saying you know, you know youhave to, you know, open all the
gate and give us victory in thisspaces for our nafs and and
also for our brothers andsisters around the world who are
suffering in this moment oftime.
(30:07):
That is tremendously harmful.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
So, to wrap up, I think it would be good to just
maybe give a few recommendations.
You know some programs that youhave experienced with and stuff
like that.
So what do you guys listen to,what do you guys follow in the
month of Ramadan?
That kind of helps you, youknow, get the spirit and stuff
(30:32):
like that.
I buy our calendar.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Yes, yes, we use our calendar.
Yeah, buy the calendar and useit to your benefit.
I also use a lot of YaqeenInstitute's work.
I use Sheikh Yasir Qadi'sprevious work that he has done
when he come to you to Seerah, Ido 30 for 30.
Yeah, I do 30 for 30, but I doSeerah.
I kind of go back to Seerah allover again from the beginning.
(30:57):
There's something about Seerahkind of shakes my heart, and so
I go back to Seerah and then Ijust do 30 for 30 with Yaqeen
Institute and use that as abenefit as well.
How about you?
Speaker 3 (31:09):
Yaqeen, definitely.
Also, I love Numer Ali Khan.
I think there's the way hetalks and the way his diction
just kind of makes it a littlebit more like I'm going into
school like for a lecture than,like you know, like something
that's big and huge for me tounderstand.
(31:30):
It makes it, he brings it downto my level.
So I just I spend a lot of timein those two YouTube pages and
YouTube spaces and also I thinkone thing that helps is like
making sure that that you areeither reading something,
watching a movie helps me, likewhen I was a kid I used to watch
(31:53):
Arisala.
All the time I associateRamadan with Arisala, like it
just it's like the message, it'sthe message.
And it's, I think, till this, tothe state, the best Do you do?
Speaker 1 (32:06):
the Arabic dubbed or dubbed, or the English dubbed,
when I was back home.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
I used to do it in Amharic.
There's an Amharic dub, but Ivery recently found the English
dubbed.
So every Ramadan, like that's,like you know how, like I don't
know if I'm supposed to makethis equivalent, but like you
know how, like Adi people, theywatch Homo Lone during Christmas
.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
But for me this is like this is it's relatable yeah
it makes me think about theOman, it makes me think about
how far we came and makes methink about the sacrifices that
were made so that we're able to.
So Arisala, and like the, thestory of Yusuf, and like.
I watched these movies that arevery rooted in Dean and that
(32:45):
are about, like you know, ourOman, the sad kind stuff like
that yeah, I think that was likein, so that was like my
highlight.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
I would get my like little food, you know, and it's
really hard to cook for oneperson.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
I don't know I don't know how I do it.
I go to my sister's house.
Yeah, so I have a people rosterthat I go to their house,
people who sympathize with thesingle people they're like come
here.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
So I would like get my little one, tempusa, in like
the fool or whatever, and then Iwould watch one episode of the
Yusuf series Like one episode aday.
That was like my highlight, ohthat is so cool.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
So now there's a lot more.
Actually, there's this Islamicmovies app or something like
that.
It's like Netflix and stuff,and they have this movie called
Belal and they have Ibnu IbnuIbnu Ata Biyudu.
Yeah, so all the Ibnus, theyhave a story about them, sorry.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
I can't All of them, but I want to.
I do want to say one thingabout Ba'ina is that you know
that's probably one of myfavorite like Tafsir programs
that are out there and you canget the Ba'ina app and you can
follow whether you want, likeQuran or Arabic.
And because this month is themonth of Quran, you know that's
(34:12):
one thing that you can tap into.
And just do one ayah, oneTafsir a day and you would
really change your life.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
And also, just speaking of Quran, there are now
, I'm noticing, a lot of onlineclasses that you can take If
you're trying to perfect yourtahu'id and, like you know,
learn a little bit more, evenjust even the diction of Quran,
the understanding of Quran, likethe translate.
You know, sometimes, yes, thereis YouTube videos that like
(34:41):
translate the Quran word by word.
But you need a teacher and thereare people that are in Islamic
studies and stuff like that andthey're very, very inexpensive.
So think about that.
Maybe you know if you'resomeone that likes something
that's more structured.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Yeah, yeah, we just we just started that from Athea
and she, she's getting used toit.
Now it's like one on oneclasses and she's really
benefiting.
Is that in a group setting?
No, just one on one.
Oh yeah, she's the teachersoverseas they do like weekly
zoom twice a week.
She, you know, she goes in andthey do the lesson.
(35:16):
That's good and you can startwith like the very basic we
started with Alif and you knowyou'll get all your tajrid and
then after that you can go intoQuran and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
So yeah, it is the month of the Quran.
Yeah, so well.
Thank you so much for sharingyour experiences, ladies, and
we're very excited about thismonth of Ramadan, and I hope
everyone who's listening to thisbenefit from this experience,
and may Allah reward and acceptyour Duaas and prayers in this
process.
May Allah even expand yourheart and your mind in this
(35:51):
journey that you're going to betaking on and remember the umma
in your process of worshiping.
So, thank you.
This is difficult, any otherdifficult conversation.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Assalamu alaykum, join the conversation in the
comment section or on our socialmedia pages.
We do not have all the answersand our biggest goal is to kick
off the started.
May Allah SWT accept ourefforts and use this for
catalysts of change.
Assalamu alaikum, welcome to difficult
conversations where we tackletaboo topics in a safe space
through empowerment andeducation.
The information on this podcastis for informational purposes
only and should not beconsidered professional mental
health advice.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Assalamu alaikum everyone, welcome back, and
today we are recording episodeon Ramadan and what's the month
of Ramadan is going to bring forus, and we're going to share
our own personal experiences andwhat we are looking forward to
it.
So I want to go ahead and getstarted by asking my two
co-hosts and about the thingsthat they are looking forward to
(00:40):
in this month of Ramadan.
So what are some things thatyou guys looking forward to in
this month?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
For me, honestly, like I know, it's not the
beginning of the year in theIslamic calendar or otherwise,
but I always look forward toRamadan being like a spiritual
reset for me.
And you know this is a timewhere it's the month of the
Quran and it's a time where youreally try to get, at least for
me, as close as you can to theQuran, trying to get rid of at
(01:11):
least one bad habit and developa new habit that you can
hopefully continue, whether it's, you know, if you are not
praying, starting to pray if youare praying, you know, doing
like a sunnah if you are alreadydoing a sunnah, trying to maybe
do a couple more sunnahs, orincorporating, you know, night
(01:33):
prayers and stuff like that.
So for me, it's more of liketrying to cleanse myself
spiritually and physically aswell.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Yeah, I think that's the same thing for me as well,
except I feel like every RamadanI try it's almost like a New
Year's resolution.
I kind of over, I take on a lotof things, and then I'm like
okay.
And then during the month ofRamadan, I'm like okay, you know
, I just focus in this one area.
(02:05):
So this year too, I feel likethat's what I'm doing.
I think, like Abshurah said,for me it's a spiritual
cleansing and it's a reset.
At the same time, it's alsosome.
It's like Ramadan is like themonth that I am the prime, like
the example you know, like, andI I try to keep that same energy
(02:30):
throughout the year.
So I tried to set myself offlike it's almost like a New Year
for me, ramadan when it comesto spiritually.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
I tried.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
you know, I have this energy and this optimism about
like, how curious I am about myDean, how in depth I try to look
into things and how I involvemy Dean and everything in my
thought process and so on and soforth, and then normally after
(02:57):
Ramadan, to be honest, it kindof like it's down a little bit.
So I just have to.
My goal every year is like makesure this time it lasts longer,
and then every year there hasbeen some elements of that
Ramadan that has stayed with methroughout my life, if that
makes sense.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Do you guys plan in advance on how to get ready for
Ramadan or do you guys do itsimultaneously as the month
comes along?
Because right now we're inShaban and a lot of people are
fasting and getting ready forRamadan and getting mental,
spiritual operations and whatfasting might be like for them.
How do you guys kind ofnavigate that?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
I think ideally, you know I try to plan it out,
whether it's the cooking, themeals or, you know, breaking
down the Quran and being like,okay, this week I want to really
get to this milestone and thenthe following week I want to get
to this milestone, but I don'tthink it.
I have a hard time having itstick, you know, having it
(04:04):
having me like really goingthrough what I actually plan to
do, because things come up andyou know you're invited here,
you're invited there, and itcomes so fast and by the time
you know it, I'm like I findmyself in the middle, like 15th
day of Ramadan, and I'm justlike, oh my gosh, what did I do?
(04:25):
I didn't.
You know I didn't finish asmuch Quran as I wanted to.
I didn't.
So it's like the first you startoff super motivated you know,
and then by the second week youkind of in the groove of things
and kind of like the third week,I'm like, okay, like it's
scrambling time, right, what canI finish, what could I do, and
(04:46):
stuff like that.
So that's what I want to changethis year.
I feel like I want to reallyput less things on my plan, you
know, on goals, so that at leastI am able to hit at least one
of them.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, the thing is that sorry.
I was going to say how I do it,how I prepare for my month of
Ramadan.
I honestly make those to-dolists that I have, but the thing
is that I even though I'mmindful of the whole 30 days.
So I kind of break it downthree ways.
The first 10 days of Ramadan isbasically a preparation right,
(05:23):
how I can mentally, physically,spiritually be present with that
process.
So it's going to be up and down, so I'm not like 100% going
into that one.
And then the middle is likeokay, I'm kind of dipping again.
I'm noticing my like the levelof motivation is a little bit
lower.
The actual 10 days is what Iwork for.
That's my ultimate goal.
That's where everything goes to.
(05:45):
That last 10 days, like sleepis like not like something on my
mind, because I'm like goinghard on the last 10 days, with
even spirituality.
I go really hard in the last 10days because I feel like, if
this is my last Ramadan, thisbecause there are people that
you fast with or might not bethere If this is my last Ramadan
, what did I do in the last 10days of it so that I feel like
(06:10):
Allah has forgiven me for thethings that I have not really
well done for the first two 10days that I have not been really
well done of it, and a lot doesnot expect perfection from us,
and the thing is that that'spart of it, and so the thing
that I do is like I really gohard on that.
But, like you said, I don'thave so many things on my list
(06:31):
this year.
It's like kind of.
I was talking to a friend theother day and we all was talking
about like she said maybe weshould figure out a lot of
specific things that we wantedto do, and then I said I've been
really struggling for really awhile with Qashuah and prayer.
I feel like I am hasty in myprayer.
I feel like I'm running throughit.
(06:52):
I feel like I don't even do thethick hair, the little like two
minute thick hair that it takesfor us to do, because I just
pray and then I run andsometimes I don't even remember
which Rakha that I'm on and thenso I have to do the last, you
know, sujood, in order for me torecover, because my mind is
like going 3000 miles while I'mpraying, and I think I'm praying
(07:15):
to be mindful is the one thing,because I feel like if my
prayer is not in order.
I don't think everything elsematters, and so that's what I'm
hoping, that I can kind of likehold on to it.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Yeah, I relate so much to everything that you were
saying.
For me, too, the idea of likebeing mindful, being present,
being making sure that you havea realistic goal.
For me, for a very long timegrowing up, I think Ramadan was
the prep, like a physicalpreparation, like that's what
(07:48):
got us like ready to Ramadan, solike you would like clean your
house, and then there's like awhole cooking session that
happens right Like you do, like20, not 20, like 200, 300, you
know, wrap some booze and likethe scooters and everything.
So, like your house is clean andyou have this smell of the
(08:09):
aroma of the scoot and, you know, like the aroma of some mousa
that's just been like preparedand frozen and all of these
things, that's what, like when Iassociate Ramadan is coming,
it's more of like there's aphysical reaction to Ramadan.
To me there's a spiritual onetoo, but then the physical one
(08:29):
is that's more like there.
I'm trying to.
So therefore I've carried thatto my house as well, with my
family too.
Like we're clean the house andwe prepare Ramadan, like the
physical aspects of it.
But then now I'm trying toinclude, like the spiritual
aspect where we're likebasically create your own
(08:49):
tradition.
Exactly.
Yeah, so listening to like we,instead of waking up in the
morning and you know we playQuran and the stereo system in
the house and everybody's justkind of trying to make it part
of our day today I'm kind ofgetting our mind to like, okay,
you know, this is another daywith Quran and like, okay, we
(09:12):
listen to another you know Jews,whatever the case might be and
then we kind of also have theseconversations about like me and
my husband, we send each otherlectures because you know your
algorithm.
Also during Ramadan, timechanges because you're focused
on you know the related stuff.
So we send each other videosand we talk a lot more about
(09:33):
like you know the lectures thatwe listen to.
That's like the our dinnerconversations.
So, it's kind of gets integrateda little bit so that's what
we're trying to do a little bitmore focus on, too, but more
consciously.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
I'm kind of curious now that Bonnie brought it up,
what are some new tradition thatare you guys are implementing
in your household that is notsimilar to what your family are
used to like?
Bonnie saying that she wants toimplement more spirituality to
the process of, like, the monthof fasting.
What are other traditions thatyour tradition that your kids,
like you, wanted to expose yourkids to?
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I think for me, I really, really want to get my
kids excited about Ramadan, youknow, get them really like
excited about the spirit andteach them in the process.
You know, my daughter, sheshe's like, oh, you know, we
should, you know, decorateRamadan.
Ramadan's coming, let's do,let's put lights up and you know
(10:27):
, and all that stuff.
So I have a couple days plannedto just do some crafts and make
the house like warm and maybeput up like like a little.
Have you guys seen those videoswhere they like carve out like
a whole minaret and a mustedthing for the kids?
Yeah, and maybe like just putit in a corner and just just get
(10:50):
them really excited about it?
Because I think, growing uplike I, the things that I really
loved about Ramadan was likethe throw it outside.
I remember like I feel like myfavorite memory is do you
remember like North Masjid whenit used to be so packed in
Ramadan?
(11:10):
Yes, no, yes, and then we usedto like play outside with like
the 10th and stuff, and it wasit was in the summertime and so
like that's one of my favorite,favorite memories and just my
goal this Ramadan is getting mykids involved and just getting
them excited about going to theMasjid, why we pray, why we do
(11:32):
trauma and what the purpose ofRamadan is.
Because now they're at that agewhere they're like why, why,
why so and I can.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
I can say that you know, for me I had to always say
like I had two separatechildhoods, right, and I feel
like my relations with my Deanand like the where the seeds of
my Dean was like planted in mylife was in my earlier childhood
and it's because of this chaosthat would erupt in our
(12:04):
household because of Ramadan andit's, like I said, the physical
aspect of like my mom cleaningthe house and like putting new
curtains and new you know shedoes and like new decor is, and
my dad going and getting likenew stereos, like whatever you
know like, and you just feel theexcitement in the air and then
(12:26):
I think also making sure likeyou're getting your kids, like
I'm sure I said where it's likeRamadan's coming.
Oh my god, Ramadan's two daysaway, three days away, and then
when it is there, kind of makingsure, like my favorite time was
either iftar or going toTarawee sorry, going to Tarawee,
(12:48):
because back home the, theMosque was in Mercato and the
one we went to anyway was inMercato and the Mercato is like
the biggest market in Americaand in Africa.
And the biggest open market inAfrica.
And imagine that big open markethaving some musa's cooking and
(13:08):
like all the smell and everybodylooks like you, because all the
Muslims look like theydescended in that space when
you're a little everybody coversdoing.
Yeah, and so I like the unisonaspect of it.
Ramadan tastes so good andfeels so good when you're back
home or when you're like in aMuslim country.
So I think getting that, thataspect that made me love like,
(13:33):
have love for the Dean, and Ithink I can honestly say, like
the second part of my childhoodwhere my little sister grew up
in, she didn't have that becauseRamadan and our family was the
fasting aspect, there wasn't alot of excitement.
We did Musa's, we fasted, wewashed dishes, we went to Masjid
, came back Kalaas, so shedidn't have that like early
(13:57):
childhood experience.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Yeah, early childhood experience.
So for it more like ritualisticversus like exactly spiritual,
exactly.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
So something kind of like a to-do list.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
And for her it was mostly aboutstarving, like you know what.
I mean Literally like so shedidn't have and I honestly like
feel like the reason why shefeels she might not have the
same like beautiful, likeexcitement about Ramadan as I do
(14:27):
, you know about it is becauseof that difference, like I got
to experience, like what got methrough the second half was the
first half of that makes sense,and the first was that was the
only thing.
So I know that, what it feelslike to and what the outcome
could be if you don't have thatwith your children.
So that's what I'm trying to do.
My kids are a little too small,they won't understand, so I
won't be doing the whole likedecoration thing, but like I'll
(14:50):
be like here's new clothes.
They, like you know, not musicto me.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
But I think kids, you know there's, so even though
you know there might be young,they're so attuned to like your
attitudes and energy and stufflike that.
And so I think for the Ramadan,even though you're tired, even
though you're hungry, just kindof like holding yourself back
and kind of being as excited asyou were, as bubbly as you were,
(15:14):
because then they don't, youdon't want them to associate
that mom is tired, mom is, youknow, not as excited to play
with me because of Ramadan.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yeah, so that's actually a good point.
And I think the biggest aspectof it for me.
I would say that Ramadan wassimilar like for all of us.
In many aspects of it too, Ithink it changes over time.
As the older you get the thoseattachment that you have kind of
minimize, because everything inthe US just feels so maintained
(15:44):
and doesn't have similarexcitement, unless you are one
of those individuals who arevery excited, very like looking
forward to planning, and I knowsome people who actually does
that for their kids, that go allout for it, um, but it's kind
of noticing that and hearing youguys talk about changing those
tradition and kind ofimplementing that into your
(16:05):
family.
It's something that I feel likeit's always good for all the
families to have.
But my other question for youguys to also is to kind of like
what is the difficult aspect ofRamadan when you are kind of, if
you can think about it, likewhat was the difficult thing
about Ramadan, that you're likethis is just getting too long
for me to kind of deal with it.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Is it the food?
Is it the?
Speaker 2 (16:28):
multiple things that you're running after.
Is it the coffee?
What is it the difficult?
Is it like the interactions?
Speaker 1 (16:34):
I think for me, like my biggest hurdle I would say to
um, my spiritual developmentand kind of I feel like getting
the best of Ramadan is the wholecooking aspect of it.
Like if I could like outsourceall that, I feel like I would
have the best Ramadan Um,because you know you, you are
(16:56):
probably cooking for from liketwo hours a day, right, and if
you haven't prepared yoursambusa or whatever, that's a
whole ordeal in itself and bythe time you're done cooking um,
you can't even like stand inTeraweeh and fully be present
and pray because you're just sotired and exhausted from the
cooking and um and all thatstuff.
(17:18):
And a lot of times I feel likeit, it falls on our shoulders.
Yeah, um, and my biggest thing,the Ramadan, is trying to find
ways to, you know, get help or,you know, trying to put that
through a system somehow so itcan make Ramadan less about
cooking and more about um, thesuperiority and and Quran and
(17:41):
stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Yeah, I mean, that's the same thing for me too, but
I'm a Kipirah buck, I think forme the food part is very hard.
Uh, the first five to 10 days II have, or you know, high
metabolism.
So I'm consistently snackingall the time, and my coffee, my
God, I I get like migraines of Idon't drink coffee, so my body
(18:04):
you work from home right?
Well, now I do, and that's alsothe other hard part is that, um,
before, actually like as assoon as like three years ago, I
used to work very physicallydemanding jobs where I had to,
like in hospitals I had to go to, like you know, like three,
eight floors a day, walking upand down, right, and it's not
(18:25):
just me, there's a lot of peoplethat work in different
professions, that are they'rephysically exerting themselves,
and that's very hard, especiallywhen you are physically
exerting yourself, you'refasting, and if you're someone
like me, that's, you know,that's addicted to coffee and
you can't drink your coffee andyou're fighting migraines and
you can't take medicationbecause you know, like, it's
(18:45):
like it's just a recipe, so like, until my body starts like
getting, uh, getting caught upwith the system, uh, then it's
the first 10 days is likenormally a dread.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Have you thought of like trying to take coffee out
now while you're ahead of thegame, Like two weeks in?
Speaker 3 (19:05):
I do that, I do that and that's why after 10 days
normally like cause it takes,like for my body kind of
switches really fast.
It takes about 20 to 30 days tolike forget about it, cause I'm
really programmed into coffee.
That's why I don't touchnothing in my life Like no, no,
who got nothing.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Cause I'm like if I touch it I'll have it, you'll
have the juice of my life.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
So, um, I I try to cut off.
Like you know, I only drink aspecific amount of coffee, you
know, throughout, maybe like amonth before.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
And then by that 10 day mark I normally am good.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Yeah, yeah, I think for me, I would say the first
week is insane.
It's the hardest.
It's the hardest, yeah, it'sthe hardest, and it's like
especially the headaches andstuff, cause I don't I don't
usually get headaches unless I'mhungry or I don't have coffee,
yeah, so.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
I think for me, I would say that I'm even I'm
trying to make up like mypassing and.
I still have a couple of weeks Ihaven't done it.
And everybody, when everybodytalks about they're doing it, I
feel so guilty because I'm like,but I have to drink coffee on
Monday and I have to work andsee how my lung, my schedules
are.
And I look at my calendar andthen I like justify it.
(20:21):
I was like, but look how manymeetings that I have.
Yeah, I need the coffee.
That patient, I need two coffee, I need two coffee for all of
this.
So I'm like maybe I shouldstart on Sunday and then kind of
going into it so, and thenSundays, like I have a breakfast
that I go with friends.
I can't do it on Sunday.
So that's what's happening, andyou know.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
And it's so much harder to make up or fast by
yourself it is.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
It is something about Ramadan Like that's why Ramadan
, like after the first week, iseasy, because then it gets like
your body get used to theroutines and I think well, I
would say this, and I thinkeverybody would agree with this
Allah gives you some mercy thatyou did not even know existed in
Ramadan.
That makes even that coffeeaddition that I also have a lot
(21:08):
more easier, because then, eventhough I have a headache the
first couple of days, somehowI'm okay after that and the
energy comes from a place that Ido not expect it from.
And I think when I say it ishard, I'm not saying it's not.
And I do go through all thestuff that you guys are
mentioning the food, the cookingpart, I don't, but you know the
(21:29):
aspect of like coffee and food.
I'm like, I love my food.
I love I don't have to eat ameal but I should have snacks.
Yeah, so it's, it's a lot tonavigate, but I would say
inshallah, allah makes it easy.
But the best part about it Iwould say that is the fact is
that we are collectively goingthrough it together.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Yeah, and I think you know, the biggest thing about
Ramadan is this is the time,like if you think about it as
like, like a business person,right, this is the time where
you can get the most out of yourabada.
So, true, right, like,especially the last 10 days, if
you time it right or, if youlike, if you're giving, if you
(22:08):
set up like a giving thing andyou're giving every day one of
those days, you're going to landon laylatul qadr.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
So I feel like we have to at least for me, I think
about it that way and goinginto it and saying you just have
to catch one day, one dayExactly Do it the whole 30 days.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
The whole 30 days.
The water, the day, what is theday?
Speaker 1 (22:29):
You're good, yeah, you know, and it's a reset, like
for the rest of the year, andjust exerting yourself and
holding yourself back a littlebit.
You know, mudir, at the tyingyour waist, and just you know
going all in yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
I remember I took this class, called visionary,
with Muhammad al-Sharif.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
May Allah give him jannah al-Fardaus.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Muhammad al-Sharif always emphasized.
He said the last 10 days iswhat you have, so use it as like
the last marathon that you areworking your every energy for.
So he will like talk to usabout how to take, make your, to
do us, get your, do us ready,which is like, you know,
spirituality, physical,financial, family, personal.
(23:16):
Do us, or you know, umma, do uslike the old, the doors that
you're making for the people ofumma, and so it's kind of like
you go at it, like you don'ttalk to people, you don't like
you become that secludedspiritual person and use that,
the benefit of that.
That last 10 days and I think alot of time that, because a lot
(23:37):
of the last 10 days in themasjid we spend so much time on
like doing um fundraising, whichkind of is important to do so,
but the fundraising kind of limb, the excitement of the musjid
going to it and and I love thathow there are some messages that
have one night of fundraising,not every single night, so
people can enjoy the experienceof it, like okay, I know I'm
(23:59):
going to be donating the 27ninth, so I'll bring my money
then Right, and versus likeevery single night and kind of
you know, getting like thosenegative experience away from it
, because I think it's part ofit.
Donating and taking care of ourour you know, our omas is
something about our religionthat we have to do in the month
of Ramadan.
So I would say that kind ofleaning into those level of like
(24:24):
the last 10 days.
What do I do?
How do I kind of use those time?
I think that was something thatI intend to kind of focus on,
even though the hard days areexisting.
So that's how I usually kind ofgo with it, yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
I think I also wanted to just um because I maybe have
been in this position a littletoo many times than I would like
to count being either, like,physically ill or, if you're
pregnant during that time, um,just making sure that, like
because you're not physicallyable to fast, it doesn't mean
you can't utilize your Ramadan.
(24:59):
So I think, um any energy andany any um amount of effort that
you could give you Ramadan, Ithink you should have mercy on
yourself about it and then don'tget discouraged that you're not
going to be able to give, youknow, the Ramadan the most, the
same amount of energy thatyou've given in the past or that
(25:21):
you're able to give normally Um, so, just having mercy on
yourself, being patient withyourself and then being able to
just, you know, having that Niaof like this is what I can do
right now, because either I'mreally physically ill and, you
know, whatever, whatever, eventhough I can't fast because of A
, b and C reasons, because ofmaybe I can't, you know, I'm
(25:41):
physically unable to, you know,go to Tarawee every single day.
This is what I can do.
And then just making sure youknow you let's not human being.
Allah understands, allah knowswhat you're going through more
than you.
Yeah, so just making sure youhave a lot on yourself, having
mercy on yourself, having more,and then also understanding
other people to have mercy onthose people Stop judging.
(26:02):
You don't see.
You see a person not fasting.
You don't know what's going onwith their health.
Yeah, you see a person not inTarawee.
It's okay to ask grade.
Hey, I didn't see you.
I didn't see you, but don'tjudge, yeah and yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
And I think that I think that brings up a good
point where, like a lot of times, you hear people that say like
oh, ramadan, muslims or whatever, you don't know that you know
this person's Ramadan could bethe Ramadan that changes their
life.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Right, that brings them around, and if you see
somebody that you know it'sdifferent or whatever that you
haven't seen in a long time,encourage them.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Like take them in.
And then the other thing I'dreally like to say is that you
know all of the things that welove about Ramadan the family,
the family time, you knowgetting excited about it.
There are people, there arepeople in our community that
don't have that right, that theydon't have.
You know, their family mightnot be Muslim and you know this
could be the their first Ramadanthat they're experiencing.
(26:56):
So, you know, try to extend ahandout, try to extend a hand to
, you know, those in yourcommunity that might need that
support, you know might needthat.
Um, it could be just one thing,you know, could be one evening
of you providing if thought forthem, but it could mean the
world to them as well.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
Yeah, and also like this.
For some people, this is thefirst Ramadan they're
celebrating without their familymembers.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
So the idea of celebrating Ramadan, the idea of
participating in Ramadan, mightbe a traumatic situation for
them because, hey, my mom usedto be the one that got that
holds it down, but she's gonenow.
My dad used to be the one thatyou know, now he's not here.
So you know that making sureyou know Ramadan is about your
Dean and about your, your Akraand everything else, but also
(27:42):
take a look to your right and toyour left and see what's going
on.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Yeah, I remember like one of my hardest Ramadan.
I would say it would be 2019.
Um, and it was like right afterCOVID hit and I was in Saudi
and like it was completelockdown.
Um, and I spent literally 30days making if thought by myself
in my little dorm room at workand it's just, you know it.
(28:09):
It was probably one of like thehardest, hardest Ramadan that
I've ever experienced.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Yeah, and there are people like that in it, and I
wanted to add to that is thatthis Ramadan we are, as far as
our trauma concern, that we'redealing with a lot of people in
the world that's suffering, um,please remember Gaza and members
to then remember Congo,remember um people of Ethiopia
and remember all of us in thisaspect of it and use your DIN
(28:39):
donation to those spaces Um,because I think, at the end of
the day, even though our masjidsare can have their own bills to
take care of, but I think thoseare the people who are in the
most suffering at this momentand your donation will be much
more benefited in those spacesas well, if you're able to.
Um.
I think when we talk about thisexperiences, I wanted to kind of
(29:02):
highlight stat Sometimes we maysound like it was speaking from
a place of like knowledgeableand privileged space, but we are
just sharing a thought thatwe're with you in aspect of you
going through these experiencesand being also kind of reminding
one another on the things thatare around us as happening, as
we are kind of embarking on thisincredible month as Iran corner
(29:25):
and being able to kind ofbenefit from all aspect of it
and maybe using a lot of ourtime to speak to a love for this
incredible people who areconstantly suffering in this
space and so that they are stillusing that moment, those time
(29:46):
where the shaitan is locked outand it's just you and a lot and
your own nuffs.
So using that space as a benefitto kind of stalking to Allah
saying you know, you know youhave to, you know, open all the
gate and give us victory in thisspaces for our nafs and and
also for our brothers andsisters around the world who are
suffering in this moment oftime.
(30:07):
That is tremendously harmful.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
So, to wrap up, I think it would be good to just
maybe give a few recommendations.
You know some programs that youhave experienced with and stuff
like that.
So what do you guys listen to,what do you guys follow in the
month of Ramadan?
That kind of helps you, youknow, get the spirit and stuff
(30:32):
like that.
I buy our calendar.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Yes, yes, we use our calendar.
Yeah, buy the calendar and useit to your benefit.
I also use a lot of YaqeenInstitute's work.
I use Sheikh Yasir Qadi'sprevious work that he has done
when he come to you to Seerah, Ido 30 for 30.
Yeah, I do 30 for 30, but I doSeerah.
I kind of go back to Seerah allover again from the beginning.
(30:57):
There's something about Seerahkind of shakes my heart, and so
I go back to Seerah and then Ijust do 30 for 30 with Yaqeen
Institute and use that as abenefit as well.
How about you?
Speaker 3 (31:09):
Yaqeen, definitely.
Also, I love Numer Ali Khan.
I think there's the way hetalks and the way his diction
just kind of makes it a littlebit more like I'm going into
school like for a lecture than,like you know, like something
that's big and huge for me tounderstand.
(31:30):
It makes it, he brings it downto my level.
So I just I spend a lot of timein those two YouTube pages and
YouTube spaces and also I thinkone thing that helps is like
making sure that that you areeither reading something,
watching a movie helps me, likewhen I was a kid I used to watch
(31:53):
Arisala.
All the time I associateRamadan with Arisala, like it
just it's like the message, it'sthe message.
And it's, I think, till this, tothe state, the best Do you do?
Speaker 1 (32:06):
the Arabic dubbed or dubbed, or the English dubbed,
when I was back home.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
I used to do it in Amharic.
There's an Amharic dub, but Ivery recently found the English
dubbed.
So every Ramadan, like that's,like you know how, like I don't
know if I'm supposed to makethis equivalent, but like you
know how, like Adi people, theywatch Homo Lone during Christmas
.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
But for me this is like this is it's relatable yeah
it makes me think about theOman, it makes me think about
how far we came and makes methink about the sacrifices that
were made so that we're able to.
So Arisala, and like the, thestory of Yusuf, and like.
I watched these movies that arevery rooted in Dean and that
(32:45):
are about, like you know, ourOman, the sad kind stuff like
that yeah, I think that was likein, so that was like my
highlight.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
I would get my like little food, you know, and it's
really hard to cook for oneperson.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
I don't know I don't know how I do it.
I go to my sister's house.
Yeah, so I have a people rosterthat I go to their house,
people who sympathize with thesingle people they're like come
here.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
So I would like get my little one, tempusa, in like
the fool or whatever, and then Iwould watch one episode of the
Yusuf series Like one episode aday.
That was like my highlight, ohthat is so cool.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
So now there's a lot more.
Actually, there's this Islamicmovies app or something like
that.
It's like Netflix and stuff,and they have this movie called
Belal and they have Ibnu IbnuIbnu Ata Biyudu.
Yeah, so all the Ibnus, theyhave a story about them, sorry.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
I can't All of them, but I want to.
I do want to say one thingabout Ba'ina is that you know
that's probably one of myfavorite like Tafsir programs
that are out there and you canget the Ba'ina app and you can
follow whether you want, likeQuran or Arabic.
And because this month is themonth of Quran, you know that's
(34:12):
one thing that you can tap into.
And just do one ayah, oneTafsir a day and you would
really change your life.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
And also, just speaking of Quran, there are now
, I'm noticing, a lot of onlineclasses that you can take If
you're trying to perfect yourtahu'id and, like you know,
learn a little bit more, evenjust even the diction of Quran,
the understanding of Quran, likethe translate.
You know, sometimes, yes, thereis YouTube videos that like
(34:41):
translate the Quran word by word.
But you need a teacher and thereare people that are in Islamic
studies and stuff like that andthey're very, very inexpensive.
So think about that.
Maybe you know if you'resomeone that likes something
that's more structured.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Yeah, yeah, we just we just started that from Athea
and she, she's getting used toit.
Now it's like one on oneclasses and she's really
benefiting.
Is that in a group setting?
No, just one on one.
Oh yeah, she's the teachersoverseas they do like weekly
zoom twice a week.
She, you know, she goes in andthey do the lesson.
(35:16):
That's good and you can startwith like the very basic we
started with Alif and you knowyou'll get all your tajrid and
then after that you can go intoQuran and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
So yeah, it is the month of the Quran.
Yeah, so well.
Thank you so much for sharingyour experiences, ladies, and
we're very excited about thismonth of Ramadan, and I hope
everyone who's listening to thisbenefit from this experience,
and may Allah reward and acceptyour Duaas and prayers in this
process.
May Allah even expand yourheart and your mind in this
(35:51):
journey that you're going to betaking on and remember the umma
in your process of worshiping.
So, thank you.
This is difficult, any otherdifficult conversation.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Assalamu alaykum, join the conversation in the
comment section or on our socialmedia pages.
We do not have all the answersand our biggest goal is to kick
off the started.
May Allah SWT accept ourefforts and use this for
catalysts of change.
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