This episode is in partnership with thousands of other podcasts highlighting nonprofits this week!
Kristin Orphan, co-founder of Finally Home, an organization dedicated to supporting foster, adoptive, and kinship families. With over 20 years of experience, Kristin shares her journey of founding a nonprofit while navigating the challenges of being a foster and adoptive parent herself.
Kristin's story is a testament to the power of perseverance and faith in the face of overwhelming circumstances.
She opens up about:
The Genesis of Finally Home
- How personal experiences as foster and kinship parents led to identifying a crucial gap in support for families
- The initial focus on marriage education for foster and adoptive couples
- Balancing naivety and passion when starting a nonprofit
Navigating Challenges and Growth
- Adapting to unexpected hurdles in building partnerships
- The importance of staying true to your mission while remaining flexible in your methods
- Lessons learned from pivoting during the COVID-19 pandemic
Sustaining Passion and Preventing Burnout
- The value of taking sabbaticals and delegating responsibilities
- Creating a culture that encourages innovation and accepts failure
- Balancing entrepreneurial vision with practical implementation
Looking Ahead to 2025
- Exciting developments in team leadership and virtual training programs
- The joy of seeing team members flourish in their roles
- Expanding reach through initiatives like the Family Journey show
Kristin's insights offer valuable lessons for nonprofit leaders, founders, and anyone passionate about making a difference. Her emphasis on building a strong team culture, embracing flexibility, and maintaining a sense of purpose provides a roadmap for sustainable impact.
Whether you're considering starting a nonprofit, facing burnout in your current role, or simply seeking inspiration, this conversation with Kristin Orphan will rejuvenate your spirit and remind you of the profound impact one person's vision can have on countless lives.
Want to skip ahead? Here are key takeaways:
14:38 Building a Nonprofit Organization There are many surprises and challenges of starting a nonprofit, including the slower-than-expected process of building bridges with churches and other organizations. The importance of patience and staying true to the mission while remaining flexible in methods is crucial.
22:39 Avoiding Burnout and Maintaining Passion Avoiding burnout can include things like taking sabbaticals, delegating responsibilities, and surrounding oneself with skilled team members. Don't think of yourself of being the center of the organization and allow others to lead and grow.
28:53 Future Plans and Team Development Finally Home's future is bright, particularly in developing team leadership and expanding virtual training programs. Fostering a culture that encourages creativity, allows for failure, and promotes open communication among team members is critical.
34:09 Encouragement for Nonprofit Leaders The importance of faith, obedience, and remembering that you are not alone in their work goes a long way. Take regular breaks and maintain perspective on you role in the larger mission.
Kristin Orphan
Kristin Orphan holds a Master’s of Science in Mental Health and Wellness with an emphasis in Family Dynamics and is. aCertified Family Life Educator. She is also an Adjunct University Professor in Psychology. Kristin is also the managing partner of Family Wellness Associates, and a Family Wellness Master Trainer. She is a worship leader and keynote speaker for special events and retreats nationwide. In her down time, Kristin enjoys writing as well as performing as a vocal artist.
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Sami Bedell-Mulhern (00:00):
I am super excited for this episode,
because I get to interviewKristen Orphan, who is the co
founder and creative director atfinally home. They are a client
of mine, and I've had thepleasure of working with them
for the last couple of years,helping them with their email,
their website, their marketing,all the things. And they are
(00:21):
just a wonderful organizationsupporting foster, adoptive and
can chip families with wholefamily strengthening. They help
those families post placement asthey kind of navigate what
happens when you say yes and nowyou have children in your home
that have experienced traumathat you don't know. And so
really, they help families cometogether and understand how to
(00:43):
communicate better, how kids canunderstand their big emotions
and how to share what they'regoing through, and how the whole
family can kind of start toheal. And there's so much more
to it than that, but that's in anutshell. And so today I'm
excited to have her here,because she is the co founder
and has been with finally homefor over 20 years, and that's a
(01:05):
long haul, and I know thatburnout is really, really real
in our space, and wanted her tojust kind of come on and share
why they got into the work thatthey do, how she has maintained
that longevity, and how shestill finds joy in doing the
work that she does, and whatshe's Looking forward to. So no
marketing strategies today, notactics, but really just hope
(01:27):
that you get inspired by herstory, how she has led and grown
this organization alongside herhusband, and kind of what you
know inspiration you might beable to bring back to your
organization, or just kind ofrejuvenate yourself in kind of
what you're doing on a dailybasis and why you got into the
work that you are. Kristen,orphan, holds a Master's of
(01:49):
Science in mental health andwellness with an emphasis in
family dynamics, and is acertified family life educator.
She's also an adjunct professorin psychology. Kristen is also
the managing partner of familywellness associates and a family
wellness master trainer. She's aworship leader and keynote
speaker for special events andretreats nationwide and in her
(02:11):
downtime, Kristen enjoys writingas well as performing as a vocal
artist. I think you're reallygoing to enjoy this episode. It
was so fun. I could have talkedto her forever, but just so many
good ways to think about how weapproach our organization, how
we approach our growth, how weapproach ourselves as we're
building something that we careabout. So perfect for you if
(02:34):
you're a founder, perfect foryou if you're an executive
director, if you're thinkingabout starting a nonprofit
organization, all good things.But I'm so excited for you to
hear this episode, and I'm soexcited that this episode is
part of the Podcast-a-THON. Sothis week, more than 1000
podcasters are coming togetherto feature nonprofit
(02:55):
organizations. Now, yes, thisepisode, or this podcast, is
geared towards nonprofits, butwe don't often have nonprofit
organizations as guests,although, if you liked this
episode, let me know, and maybewe'll do it more often, but join
the community of people that areall sharing and highlighting
nonprofits of their choice thisweek in March during the
(03:17):
Podcast-a-THON, and we'll linkall of that up in the show notes
at thefirstclick.net/293, and ifyou want another nonprofit
episode, make sure you check outepisode 39 on the Easy Style
with Sami podcast, my otherpodcast that I do that's more
about inspirational stories likewhat you heard today, but we
will be featuring Nancy Economuin that episode, all about her
(03:39):
inspiration For starting hernonprofit organization. So
again, you can check that out onEasy Style with Sami. It will be
launching on Thursday of thisweek. So check out the website.
See what other nonprofitinspiration you can glean from,
again, more than 1000 podcastersthat are joining in this
movement today. I'm grateful tobe a part of it, and thank you
(04:01):
for listening to this episode.Let's get into it.
You're listening to the DigitalMarketing Therapy podcast. I'm
your host, Sami Bedell-Mulhern,each month, we dive deep into a
digital marketing or fundraisingstrategy that you can implement
in your organization. Each week,you'll hear from guest experts
nonprofits and myself on bestpractices, tips and resources to
(04:23):
help you raise more money onlineand reach your organizational
goals.
Hey, friends, please join me inwelcoming Kristen Orphan to the
podcast. Thanks for being here.
Kristen Orphan (04:33):
Yeah, glad to be here.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (04:36):
I have been so excited for this episode
because we've known each otherfor a few years now, and I've
been so inspired by you, andfinally, home and the work that
you do. And so often, we all seethings that are happening. We
all see, you know, people thatmight need additional support,
animals that might needadditional love and care or
food. And I mean, insert all ofthe things that you're
(04:56):
passionate about. But I justkind of want to start with. If
it takes a special person to seethat gap and lean into it and
say, You know what, it's notthat we just see this gap, we're
going to do something about it.So I would love for you to just
kind of start with why you feltlike you wanted to step in and
kind of serve foster kinship andadoptive families and found an
(05:21):
organization with your husband,which is a whole nother layer of
complexity. So kind of, how didthat first initially come about?
Kristen Orphan (05:30):
Well, it definitely came about out of our
own personal journey as foster,adoptive and kinship.
Interestingly, we had been thecaregivers and eventual kinship
guardians to my husband'syoungest brother, who's
developmentally disabled. He was22 at the time, and we had two
(05:53):
young sons, and that was a wholeexperience. Whenever you are
asked to do something like that,first, for your family, there
are things you just can't fullywrap your mind around, which I'm
glad, because you don't knowexactly what it's going to be
like and what the challengesare. So we experienced that this
(06:14):
kinship care and all of thefamily dynamics, extended family
stressors, and all of thethings. And then we also, as I
said, we had two young sons atthe time. We it felt like I was
seeing the need for fosterparents and adoptive parents
everywhere I turned it's likeevery setting, every
conversation I was in, was justtalking about this idea. And it
(06:37):
was so compelling to me,particularly and very, very
intimately wrapped up in our ownfamily faith journey, and what
we truly believed that God wascalling us to do is to open our
eyes. We were so blessed as afamily and wanted to have more
kids, and yet truly believedthat what we were being called
(07:01):
to was to open our homes to kidswho needed a family. And so once
again, being incredibly excitedabout that, but also being very
naive. And so fast forwardthrough all of the process. What
you you see in these compellingcalls, even on TV or whatever is
(07:26):
like, do this great thing, andit all feels really wonderful,
and then you enter into aprocess where your entire life
is exposed as it should be. Butof course, that's not something
you have ever experienced oranticipated. So every step from
the vetting to thecertification, everything
feeling so delayed beyond it'slike this great thing we're
(07:47):
wanting to do, and yet it's sohard to the surprising way we
actually were matched up. I'lljust put it that way, with both
of our daughters, all of that,and then the journey, actually,
of raising kids who hadexperienced trauma and abuse. So
(08:08):
all of that is just a very, veryquick snapshot of what we
experienced personally. So yourquestion about where did this
come from, and why it came outof those personal experiences,
and then feeling so discouraged,so overwhelmed, so ill equipped,
(08:29):
and then had starting to reachout and have conversations like,
is this? Was this like this foryou, you know, to find people
who were in a similar journeyand realizing that there were
all these commonalities infamilies like ours. Even if our
stories were entirely different,there were common themes. So it
(08:49):
was that Sammy that was comingup over and over. And I, I just,
I remember a moment just inprayer and journaling and
pouring my heart out to the Lordsaying we wanted to do this
great thing. We thought it wascoming from a really good place
and that we had so much tooffer. And now here we are
feeling so overwhelmed, hurt,isolated because people that had
(09:12):
been in our circle didn'tunderstand now. We didn't really
feel the rejection that a lot ofpeople do. We felt almost a self
isolation, because we were soexhausted that we just thought
they will never get it. And whenI say they, I'm just talking
about people who weren't on thisjourney. So all of a sudden for
(09:34):
a lot of reasons. So it was allof those things, and then this
just moment in prayer where Itruly believe that the Lord was
saying, yeah, it is really hard.And I'm gonna call you to be
someone who, who, who knows whatit's like, and can then go and
link people who are reallyalone, ill equipped, isolated,
(09:57):
with all of the incredibleresources. Love and people who
they're, they want to help, theyjust don't know how. So it was,
it was that, and it was deeply,um, spiritual, emotional, all of
those things, and certainly notlogical, because we were, we
were very uh, strung out, so tospeak, and kind of serving out
(10:21):
of an emptiness.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (10:23):
Well, I think that's beautiful. And was
it something where, like you andyour husband Mark had been both
kind of marinating in your headsand journaling and praying about
separately, and then you kind ofcame together? Or was this
something that you said, youknow, I'm really feeling called
to do this. Like, let's do thistogether. Like, how did that
kind of kind of come about?
Kristen Orphan (10:43):
It was really interesting because at the time,
my husband Mark was serving a ina national initiative with the
federal government, a wholegrant where he was a part of a
coalition of churches in at riskcommunities that were going in
(11:04):
and providing FamilyStrengthening education. So this
was happening at the exact righttime, and of course, at the time
we didn't see it as related. Iwas recognizing a need. I had
actually resigned my full timejob that I happened to love, so
I was the one at home now doingwhat we couldn't afford, but we
(11:25):
couldn't afford not to either,which was all hands on deck with
these two little girls andtrying to keep things together.
So I was experiencing what I wasexperiencing Mark was
experiencing personally, youknow, on our family journey and
in his work, he was out, kind ofinterfacing with people who were
serving families who were brokenin a different way, biological
(11:49):
families who needed more skills.So what happened that kind of
linked these things together wasI just went with him, you know,
to kind of get out. And I wentwith him to a retreat. He was
there for work that he, youknow, in this, in this federal
grant, and we, and I was justthere to get a break, quite
honestly, yeah, and, and thenthis amazing, magical thing
(12:14):
happened that we listened tothis content that was being
encouraged to these at riskfamilies, and we thought that is
we literally drove home andsaid, that's what's missing,
because we recognized a need. Weexperienced the need. I told
you, we felt incredibly empty.Then it was like this beautiful
(12:38):
gift. It wasn't conjured up byus. We thought, you know, in the
ocean of need, there's this onething that makes sense, that if
we could take this one thing andthat one thing in that
particular experience, wasmarriage education. Now it was
part of a larger program thatincluded parenting and all of
(13:01):
the things, but it was marriageeducation. And what we had been
seeing over and over is that inall of the training and all of
the equipping and all of eventhe required ongoing training
for families like ours, peoplewere not talking about marriage.
What was this doing? And yet wewere seeing people's marriages
fall apart, because the way ahusband and a wife, a man and a
(13:24):
woman faced certain things likethis, are very different, and we
were seeing the people'srelationships were getting
pulled apart, yeah, and so, andthe way two Human beings
approach things, so norelationship. So anyway, we
drove away. So that's the answerto your question. That's where
(13:45):
it started to become an us, likewe both see this thing, and we
both see how this particulartool could be the one thing that
we could start offering topeople. That's how this whole
thing started. We saw a need, wesaw a resource, and we thought
(14:06):
we could do this. And we starteddreaming on that drive home
about the first basicallymarriage retreat. It was a two
day retreat that we would offerspecifically to foster, adoptive
families at the time, eventhough we were a kinship family,
we didn't even really see itthat way. We just thought we're
taking care of a family member.So it was foster adoptive
(14:28):
families. We said, We can, wecan do this thing, and we think
that families like us would bereally hungry for it.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (14:38):
I think what's really beautiful about
that is, when we look at bigpicture, in your case, the
foster care system, adoption,what families are going through,
kinship care, it can feel reallybig. It is really big. And so
what I love about that is youknew there was. Is a gap that
(15:00):
you could that you were seeing,but you didn't try to step into
it and say, Well, we're going tofix the whole system, and we're
going to do all this and that,like you guys came in very
specifically on a we know we canmake an impact here. And so
we're going to lean into this,and we're really going to
support families in this way,and then take it step by step by
step, and so as you kind oflaunched into that first
(15:22):
retreat, as you starteddeveloping, as you kind of
started building your ownnonprofit, what was it that kind
of surprised you about thenonprofit world and actually
then running a nonprofit?
Kristen Orphan (15:36):
Well, I think that the thing that surprised me
was more I was coming out of thechurch world, and I thought that
people, specifically churches,would see the need and be
(15:58):
willing to step up in biggerways at the beginning than they
did. I thought it would beeasier to, yeah, that's really
funny, because easy andnonprofit, it just doesn't often
have the, you know, fall in thesame sentence. So I think I was
surprised somewhat again, naivethat what we would do is be a
(16:21):
bridge. I thought that bridgewould be built a lot faster,
because I don't say that in acondemning way, in any any way,
because I came out of thechurch, ministry world, staff in
I understand that everybody,whether it's a church or a
nonprofit, has a whole lot ofthings they're trying to do.
Just because this thing is myone thing doesn't mean it's
(16:42):
going to be your one thing. Soit wasn't, it wasn't even a
disappointment, more of just asurprise that the bridge that we
were called to build has taken alot longer now, as an older
person, having done this for along time, I I understand the
(17:03):
even the wisdom, the gift thatit takes a while to build things
it should take a while to buildsomething that will last, and I
would just say slow, just in thesame way that you affirmed that
anyone who sees a Need shouldstep cautiously, one thing at a
time, in not suggesting any oneperson is gonna solve something
(17:28):
or fix an entire system,whatever it may be, I just think
a pacing of the building ofsomething, even if you're
building to serve this onething, taking your time to do it
is the wisest way, yeah,
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (17:47):
and that's one of the things that I've
loved about working with yourwith you and Mark specifically.
But finally, home as aorganization is that you are
very deeply rooted. Even thoughyour services have expanded
beyond that initial workshopthat you do, it is still very
much rooted in that as a corelike we're here to help families
become the best versions ofthemselves and be able to each
(18:10):
individually be the bestversions of themselves. You're
also open to kind of shifts andfiguring out, how do we best get
this in front of the rightpeople. How do we best serve
people in a changing landscape?And so as you kind of, you know,
started and you started growing,and you started seeing the
(18:30):
impact and the positivity thatyou were impacting on these
families COVID hits, and all ofa sudden, your in person
programming no longer can exist.But that only means that what
the families need is prompt isgreater than what it was before
COVID Now that everybody's kindof stuck in their home. So how,
how is it that you are kind ofin a mindset way, like when that
(18:51):
hit, and you're trying tonavigate change, and you're
trying to figure out, okay,well, now what do we do? And
you're trying to pivot, like,how do you guys move through
that? Or, how did you movethrough that at the time as a
team to kind of figure out whatyou were going to do and how you
were going to approach thatsituation.
Kristen Orphan (19:06):
Yeah, and so many people had to do that,
right? And did it, you know, didit well? And most of us the
answer was virtual, something wecouldn't have imagined. I'm sure
you saw and were ready for that.We We had this idea that in
order for it to mean something,it had to be face to face. So
when I look back now, I realizethat the way you remain flexible
(19:32):
is that you stay true to yourmission and flexible on your
method. I could see that rightbefore COVID, this thing, none
of us could have imagined it wasstart we were building. Had
spent some years building theframework around the method.
Here's how we, you know, servefamilies in person. Here are all
(19:56):
of our protocols, etc, etc. Allincredibly important. Yeah. I
can see how we started down aroad of really becoming linked
to the method, whereas COVIDrequired that we just take a
(20:16):
look at the mission and in bywhatever means possible deliver
that mission. And I'm gratefulfor that. It with all the
heartbreak of COVID for so manypeople in our world, I'm
grateful that it gave us anopportunity to see that we could
(20:39):
deliver we could use differentmethods to deliver our mission
in thereby impacting morepeople. The work we did to
create the infrastructure andthe methods around our in person
there that was not wasted,because we utilize that and it's
flexible and has allowed us towork in other countries and and
(21:02):
be able to share with peoplethat they want to serve in the
same way. So that's allwonderful, as long as it doesn't
become the king. And I know thatthere were times where I was
very much like, Well, no, thisis how you serve families
effectively. And there have beentimes where I've had to say, oh,
gosh, I guess that actuallyisn't a, you know, like some a
(21:26):
hill to die on, but you, youknow, you learn. And that's the
bottom line, is you just youflex, and you go, Hmm, you know,
maybe I could be open. And thenthere are those things as you
say, No, this is a nonnegotiable. You just have to
remain open and listen to peoplewho have experience in other
deliveries, other methods, andthen it really crystallizes the
(21:52):
parts of your mission that youwon't let go of.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (21:54):
Yeah, yeah, that's so good. And so that kind
of leads into, I mean, finally,home has been around for over 20
years now, and so how burnout issuch a real thing for
development people, forexecutive directors, for
founders, for, I mean, for boardmembers, you have had a team
(22:17):
around you that has supportedyou for A good chunk of that
time. But how do you kind ofstay in it, like, how do you
stay energized to keep doingthis work you handle a lot of
the creative and the programmingside of things. So how do you
kind of let the burnout keepthat at bay? And how do you stay
in it for the long haul?
Kristen Orphan (22:39):
So I did say that this started out of our
faith, and I will never, everlose sight of that. And that has
several implications. One is, Iam a manager, not an owner. This
is not the Christian orphan orthe mark and Kristen orphan show
or ministry. And when you startsomething, it's tempting to
(23:00):
believe that, and also a lot ofpeople kind of want to project
that on you, so you can start tobelieve the hype, and you can
believe it for good or bad, youknow, it's all your
responsibility or it's all yourfault. And as a leader, there's
some of that, but I have triedto learn over the years,
(23:21):
sometimes better than others,that this is not about me, and
that I don't want it to live ordie based on my capacity or even
my endurance. So couplepractical things. One is through
these years, I've taken twosabbaticals.
(23:45):
That is an incredibly wonderfulreminder and humble reminder
that life goes on without you.We've seen great growth when
I've stepped away, which isreally wonderful. We surround
ourselves with really goodpeople who are experts in what
they do, like you and we listento them, because if I have to
(24:09):
control everything, then I'mright back to being the center
of this universe. And not onlydo I not believe that for this
organization, I don't believethat for life, I don't believe
that in my relationships, Idon't believe anything. I mean,
there is a God, and I'm not him,and I I can't carry the weight
of this organization, of thisfamily. I wasn't meant to. I was
(24:31):
meant to be obedient, to do mypart, to invite others and even
facilitate like, I mean, youknow Sammy, you're one of, you
know, a whole team of people whoare gifted at things that I'm
not gifted at, that Mark's notgifted at. But also it's a
delight to see you work in yoursweet spot, bring things, bring
(24:54):
a perspective, and also to justenjoy it. You know, I mean, I we
want that for. People around ustoo, like do what you're good
at, do what you enjoy doing.Yes, it is for the betterment of
the organization, but, I mean,it's, it is for your good too,
because you're doing what you'remade to do. And I just don't
(25:15):
ever want to lose sight of that,and it's a reminder of those
things. So you you give away,you know, you take
responsibility, but you giveaway credit, and you give away
you delegate. You're willing tolet go of things. You're willing
to let things be donedifferently. Again, go back to
the mission and your values.Other than that, there is a
(25:37):
there's so many ways to dothings, and I don't, I don't
want to control all of that whenyou feel like it's all up to
you, that's a recipe forburnout, and that's a recipe for
not just burnout of youpersonally, but burning through
people and burning out theorganization like it's done when
(25:57):
you're done. And we've seen thatand that, again, that's
heartbreaking, because peoplewill pour themselves into
something for whatever durationof time, holding on so tightly
because of a good, good thing.They want to do this. They want
to be obedient. They want to befaithful. But it's, you know,
that that just doesn't lastforever. And things happen too.
(26:18):
I mean, you know, throughoutthis time, my husband had a very
severe health issue, that wasone of the reasons for a
sabbatical. Like, things happen.We're human and we are
replaceable, and we have to havethat mindset, and we've always
got to be looking at who's goingto step in. That doesn't mean
that, finally, home has to goforever, if it's not meant to go
(26:41):
forever, no problem, but itwon't be for lack of releasing
leadership.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (26:49):
I think for me working because you said, I
love that. You said it's notjust about we have people on the
team that bring things to thetable, that are experts in those
areas, but that we have fundoing it. And I think that that
is very true, and that it's avery collaborative environment.
And so we are a small team. Imean, we all bring different
(27:11):
things to the table, but yet,when we're coming together on
new ideas, or we're comingtogether on new programs and
services, everybody kind ofcomes at the table and puts in
their own little two cents, andthen we're like, Okay, this is
the best we all move forward,and everybody's great and on
board. But it's not ever justone person saying, This is what
we're doing. Everybody fall inline. The fact that you and mark
(27:31):
both welcome feedback andengagement and ideas and like,
Okay, well, how does this affectthis and affect that? I think
that alone is a very uniqueleadership quality that most
organizations don't have,whether they're founder LED or
not, especially founder ledorganizations. So I think that
message about kind of releasingis so important, and I hope that
(27:51):
people hear that, because it'snot a releasing of your energy
and what you've put behind it inyour history with the
organization. Letting go of thatcontrol does not mean that you
become what's the word I'mlooking for, not invalid. It
doesn't minimize yourcontribution to the
(28:13):
organization. I think maybethat's sometimes where people
get stuck as somebody who's beenin an organization for so long,
is that I might become obsolete,as opposed to people
understanding the gifts thatI've given to this organization.
So I think the way that youworded that was really, really
great, but also just kind of aswe look to 2025 for your
(28:34):
organization. What are youexcited about? Like, because I
know there's lots of greatopportunities that are showing
up. But what are you excitedabout? What? What kind of lights
you up? And what do you see,kind of bringing you the most
joy in 2025 with finally home,or just in general?
Kristen Orphan (28:54):
Well, I think one of the things that I try to
answer these questions with,kind of the first thing that
pops into my mind, because I'magain, someone who likes about a
lot, a lot of different things.So I'll just say, we're here for
I am excited about our team. I'mexcited about giving away
leadership. And I will just say,you know, Mark, and I don't do
(29:14):
any of this perfectly, and we'vehad seasons where we've had to
learn the hard way, so thatthat's just something that I
would encourage any leader, it'sjust like be cautious to say I'm
this kind of leader. I'm thatkind of leader, because as a
leader, we have to grow andchange and learn and all of us.
Because I think that some, oneof the reasons people hold on
tightly is is just thisincredible sense of
(29:37):
responsibility. They want to beresponsible to what they have
chosen to lead. And that is areally good value and and can be
a trap for any and all of uswhen we're, you know, feeling
that good sense ofresponsibility, and it turns
toxic when it becomes somethinglike, oh my gosh, like, I. Have
(30:00):
to be in everything, becauseit's my responsibility. So
surrounding yourself with peopleyou trust is one of the ways
that you're kind to yourself,because you can begin to release
that. And trust is a really bigdeal. And many of us leaders,
you know, we've we'veexperienced the negative side of
(30:20):
that too, when you've givensomething away so that that's
that's life, and that's the hardthing. And so we have some of
our bad habits, you know, we'veearned them, so to speak, but we
want to keep learning andgrowing through them. So I am
excited about our team. It is arelief because we've had some
folks get trained up in waysthat in 2025 now they don't need
(30:43):
us so much, and that iswonderful. We've been walking
along and tried to be diligentin the training process, and now
we're releasing some of them,and we've joked as a team and
said training wheels are comingoff now, like, go, be free, you
know, flourish. We want that,you know, and especially you
know, my husband, he's veryentrepreneurial, and so he's
(31:05):
always thinking about the nextthing, the next thing, and I
tend to be the one who's alittle bit behind him, going,
Okay, let's make sure that we'vegot the structures in place, but
we both want to release. So I'mexcited about that, because I
believe that we've got somefolks that are being released
into things. And I love in ourteam meetings, when we do this
(31:25):
thing called Round Robin and weget reports, I love it when
somebody reports on somethingthat I had no idea, you know,
it's like, Oh, that's reallyfun. And also super cool that
you are totally handling thatand I did not know. And I get to
be, you know, excited aboutthat. I'm excited about our
(31:46):
growing virtual trainings andfootprint and then just this,
oh, I love our family journeyshow, because we just get to
talk to people who are from allwalks of life, and it's it's
related to families like ours,but it's not like our training,
(32:06):
it's more just this kind ofexpanding of the family. So all
of those things I'm prettyexcited about, but probably the
very first one is just that ourteam is being released to really
lead their areas.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (32:23):
Yeah, and I want to make sure that we make
it clear too, that the cultureand the way to allow the team to
be able to take charge, take offtheir training wheels, and move
forward is that you've alsobuilt a culture of failure is
okay. Any idea can come to thetable, and that sometimes we try
things, they don't work sogreat. Sometimes they work
(32:45):
really well. We're going to trysome things. And that culture of
allowing people to be creativeand come to the table with
ideas. Because, like you said inthe Round Robins, sometimes
things come up from other peoplethat aren't even involved in
that particular task, butbecause we had it in a group
setting, now the whole thinggets lifted up another level
because they're like, Oh, Ididn't think about that. Or
(33:06):
that's a great concept, or let'slike, bring so I think that is
super important, that culture sokind of reinforcing your Don't
worry about the type of leaderyou are, necessarily foster the
right culture within your team.And you know, it kind of all
comes together on their on theirown. So I love that. And of
course, the family journey showis great, and we will link all
(33:27):
of those links up in the shownotes. But Kristen, as we kind
of wrap this up, if you weregoing to maybe share something
to listeners out there that aremaybe year end didn't go so
great, or year end went awesome.Or maybe they're just kind of
struggling in their day to day,or just need to be kind of
uplifted in order to keep doingthe work that we know is so
(33:50):
important that they're doing.Kind of, how do you give
yourself a pep talk? Or, like,is there a particular verse that
that brings you comfort? Or howdo you kind of, what might you
say to somebody that just needsa little extra boost to just
kind of keep, keep doing theincredible work that we know
they need to do. All right, putyou on the spot with that one. I
bet
Kristen Orphan (34:09):
that's okay. I love that. I love that. So, I
mean, there is a verse inIsaiah, and I believe it's in
the chapter 43 I'm not entirelysure the verse, possibly 43 one,
but you can read the chapter,but it basically God is saying,
when you go through deep waters,I will be with you. And we've
(34:31):
been doing, actually, we do aspirit we call it spiritual
formation, optional foreverybody to join in on
Wednesday before our teammeeting, just for encouragement.
And we've been going through aseries on not being anxious. And
what we keep coming to is thatthe antidote to this anxiety,
whatever its root, and certainlyleaders, Oh, wow. I mean, we
(34:55):
carry this weight with us so butI'm. Going to come back to
anxiety, whatever it was,whether it's like you said,
Sammy, we didn't have a goodyear end and so we're stressed,
or we had a really great yearend, and now we've got a, you
know, we've got to really liveup to this amazing like,
expectation, whatever it is,anxiety, right? Worry. We keep
(35:19):
coming back to the same thing.The antidote to anxiety is
knowing that the Lord is nearand we have been promised his
presence daily, moment bymoment, and that this, I mean,
for me, it just, I cannot liveanything you know we didn't even
get into our personal journey asa family and why you shouldn't
(35:39):
necessarily start a nonprofitwhile you're living out the
hardest parts of your story. Butthat is just what that is, the
way it that way it went. It keptus humble. Um, there is no way
for me to live or do, nor wouldI ever want like this is not a
cause to me. This is an act ofobedience. This is not I want to
(36:00):
do something good. This is, thisis an act of obedience, period.
I am not that good of a personthat I would give my life to
something like this. It is, youknow, all of us, we don't get
paid enough. We don't. It'slike, this is an act of
(36:22):
obedience, and I know who I'mobeying, and he has promised to
be present with me in everythingthat he is making away, and he
is both working in me as heworks through me, and at the end
of the day, as I said from thebeginning, I'm not an owner, I'm
a manager and I am his child.And Jesus says his yoke is easy
(36:44):
and His burden is light. Heinvites us to come away. Even
circling back to you talkedabout burnout and sabbatical,
well, the root is Sabbath. Wehave to take breaks. We are
never if we say, oh, after thisseason is done, we take a break.
Once we get to this point, we'regoing to take a break. You
cannot do that, and that's nothow life was meant to be lived.
(37:05):
And so to answer your question,no matter what your worry, no
matter what your burden is, justremember you're not alone in it,
that there is a God who lovesyou more than you can imagine,
who's walking in it. And if thisthing is worth doing. It's
because he put it on your heart,and he is. He never asked you to
(37:26):
do it without him. He's justout. He's inviting you like we
invite team members and staffmembers. He's inviting you to be
a part of it for your bettermentand to be used, you know, for
good in this world, we just haveto remember that it is not all
up to us. That's it.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (37:44):
I love that so good. Well, Kristen, great
way to wrap this up if peoplewant to learn more about
finally, home. How can they dothat?
Kristen Orphan (37:55):
Well, you can absolutely check out our website
that the excellent Sammycontinues to oversee and rework
as we grow faster and let herknow. Oh yeah, Sammy, we're
doing this now too. So familyhome.net, and then you'll share
all of the links to all of theother things. Reach out if you
can't find what you're lookingfor, contact us, because we
(38:18):
would just love to have aconversation with you and to
encourage you, and for all ofyou leaders, maybe even in
unrelated fields, if there'sanything we can do just to
encourage you today, then pleasereach out to us about that too.
all of that up
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (38:32):
Yep, and we will link in the show notes at
the first click.net/ 293, asyour marketing person. That was
kind of a test just to you know,kind of see if you you got your
spiel down for where to directpeople for more information.
Thank you so much for being hereon this episode.
Kristen Orphan (38:47):
I really appreciate it. Yeah, thanks for
inviting me.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (38:51):
Thank you so much again to Kristen for
joining me today. Everythingwill be linked up, all of the
links to the be on the journeyshow she mentioned, finally
home.net, and all of the otherways that you can connect with
them. At thefirstclick.net/293,you know of a foster, adoptive
or kinship family that could usesupport, with post placement
(39:13):
training with relationships withtrauma and or mental health
support, please make sure youreach out to them. They have
some great resources andprograms available to help
families nationwide, and youcan, again, check them out at
finally, home.net. They have asoft spot in my heart, and I
have so enjoyed working withthem for the past few years.
(39:33):
Make sure you subscribe whereveryou listen, and head on over to
the podcast a THON, and makesure that you grab some other
episodes that you might want tolisten to featuring other
nonprofits again. All this wholeweek in March, there are over
1000 podcasts that arededicating their episodes to
featuring nonprofits, and so weare so grateful to be a part of
it. Thank you so much forlistening, and again, we will
(39:54):
see you in the next one.
I am super excited for this episode,
because I get to interviewKristen Orphan, who is the co
founder and creative director atfinally home. They are a client
of mine, and I've had thepleasure of working with them
for the last couple of years,helping them with their email,
their website, their marketing,all the things. And they are
(00:21):
just a wonderful organizationsupporting foster, adoptive and
can chip families with wholefamily strengthening. They help
those families post placement asthey kind of navigate what
happens when you say yes and nowyou have children in your home
that have experienced traumathat you don't know. And so
really, they help families cometogether and understand how to
(00:43):
communicate better, how kids canunderstand their big emotions
and how to share what they'regoing through, and how the whole
family can kind of start toheal. And there's so much more
to it than that, but that's in anutshell. And so today I'm
excited to have her here,because she is the co founder
and has been with finally homefor over 20 years, and that's a
(01:05):
long haul, and I know thatburnout is really, really real
in our space, and wanted her tojust kind of come on and share
why they got into the work thatthey do, how she has maintained
that longevity, and how shestill finds joy in doing the
work that she does, and whatshe's Looking forward to. So no
marketing strategies today, notactics, but really just hope
(01:27):
that you get inspired by herstory, how she has led and grown
this organization alongside herhusband, and kind of what you
know inspiration you might beable to bring back to your
organization, or just kind ofrejuvenate yourself in kind of
what you're doing on a dailybasis and why you got into the
work that you are. Kristen,orphan, holds a Master's of
(01:49):
Science in mental health andwellness with an emphasis in
family dynamics, and is acertified family life educator.
She's also an adjunct professorin psychology. Kristen is also
the managing partner of familywellness associates and a family
wellness master trainer. She's aworship leader and keynote
speaker for special events andretreats nationwide and in her
(02:11):
downtime, Kristen enjoys writingas well as performing as a vocal
artist. I think you're reallygoing to enjoy this episode. It
was so fun. I could have talkedto her forever, but just so many
good ways to think about how weapproach our organization, how
we approach our growth, how weapproach ourselves as we're
building something that we careabout. So perfect for you if
(02:34):
you're a founder, perfect foryou if you're an executive
director, if you're thinkingabout starting a nonprofit
organization, all good things.But I'm so excited for you to
hear this episode, and I'm soexcited that this episode is
part of the Podcast-a-THON. Sothis week, more than 1000
podcasters are coming togetherto feature nonprofit
(02:55):
organizations. Now, yes, thisepisode, or this podcast, is
geared towards nonprofits, butwe don't often have nonprofit
organizations as guests,although, if you liked this
episode, let me know, and maybewe'll do it more often, but join
the community of people that areall sharing and highlighting
nonprofits of their choice thisweek in March during the
(03:17):
Podcast-a-THON, and we'll linkall of that up in the show notes
at thefirstclick.net/293, and ifyou want another nonprofit
episode, make sure you check outepisode 39 on the Easy Style
with Sami podcast, my otherpodcast that I do that's more
about inspirational stories likewhat you heard today, but we
will be featuring Nancy Economuin that episode, all about her
(03:39):
inspiration For starting hernonprofit organization. So
again, you can check that out onEasy Style with Sami. It will be
launching on Thursday of thisweek. So check out the website.
See what other nonprofitinspiration you can glean from,
again, more than 1000 podcastersthat are joining in this
movement today. I'm grateful tobe a part of it, and thank you
(04:01):
for listening to this episode.Let's get into it.
You're listening to the DigitalMarketing Therapy podcast. I'm
your host, Sami Bedell-Mulhern,each month, we dive deep into a
digital marketing or fundraisingstrategy that you can implement
in your organization. Each week,you'll hear from guest experts
nonprofits and myself on bestpractices, tips and resources to
(04:23):
help you raise more money onlineand reach your organizational
goals.
Hey, friends, please join me inwelcoming Kristen Orphan to the
podcast. Thanks for being here.
Kristen Orphan (04:33):
Yeah, glad to be here.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (04:36):
I have been so excited for this episode
because we've known each otherfor a few years now, and I've
been so inspired by you, andfinally, home and the work that
you do. And so often, we all seethings that are happening. We
all see, you know, people thatmight need additional support,
animals that might needadditional love and care or
food. And I mean, insert all ofthe things that you're
(04:56):
passionate about. But I justkind of want to start with. If
it takes a special person to seethat gap and lean into it and
say, You know what, it's notthat we just see this gap, we're
going to do something about it.So I would love for you to just
kind of start with why you feltlike you wanted to step in and
kind of serve foster kinship andadoptive families and found an
(05:21):
organization with your husband,which is a whole nother layer of
complexity. So kind of, how didthat first initially come about?
Kristen Orphan (05:30):
Well, it definitely came about out of our
own personal journey as foster,adoptive and kinship.
Interestingly, we had been thecaregivers and eventual kinship
guardians to my husband'syoungest brother, who's
developmentally disabled. He was22 at the time, and we had two
(05:53):
young sons, and that was a wholeexperience. Whenever you are
asked to do something like that,first, for your family, there
are things you just can't fullywrap your mind around, which I'm
glad, because you don't knowexactly what it's going to be
like and what the challengesare. So we experienced that this
(06:14):
kinship care and all of thefamily dynamics, extended family
stressors, and all of thethings. And then we also, as I
said, we had two young sons atthe time. We it felt like I was
seeing the need for fosterparents and adoptive parents
everywhere I turned it's likeevery setting, every
conversation I was in, was justtalking about this idea. And it
(06:37):
was so compelling to me,particularly and very, very
intimately wrapped up in our ownfamily faith journey, and what
we truly believed that God wascalling us to do is to open our
eyes. We were so blessed as afamily and wanted to have more
kids, and yet truly believedthat what we were being called
(07:01):
to was to open our homes to kidswho needed a family. And so once
again, being incredibly excitedabout that, but also being very
naive. And so fast forwardthrough all of the process. What
you you see in these compellingcalls, even on TV or whatever is
(07:26):
like, do this great thing, andit all feels really wonderful,
and then you enter into aprocess where your entire life
is exposed as it should be. Butof course, that's not something
you have ever experienced oranticipated. So every step from
the vetting to thecertification, everything
feeling so delayed beyond it'slike this great thing we're
(07:47):
wanting to do, and yet it's sohard to the surprising way we
actually were matched up. I'lljust put it that way, with both
of our daughters, all of that,and then the journey, actually,
of raising kids who hadexperienced trauma and abuse. So
(08:08):
all of that is just a very, veryquick snapshot of what we
experienced personally. So yourquestion about where did this
come from, and why it came outof those personal experiences,
and then feeling so discouraged,so overwhelmed, so ill equipped,
(08:29):
and then had starting to reachout and have conversations like,
is this? Was this like this foryou, you know, to find people
who were in a similar journeyand realizing that there were
all these commonalities infamilies like ours. Even if our
stories were entirely different,there were common themes. So it
(08:49):
was that Sammy that was comingup over and over. And I, I just,
I remember a moment just inprayer and journaling and
pouring my heart out to the Lordsaying we wanted to do this
great thing. We thought it wascoming from a really good place
and that we had so much tooffer. And now here we are
feeling so overwhelmed, hurt,isolated because people that had
(09:12):
been in our circle didn'tunderstand now. We didn't really
feel the rejection that a lot ofpeople do. We felt almost a self
isolation, because we were soexhausted that we just thought
they will never get it. And whenI say they, I'm just talking
about people who weren't on thisjourney. So all of a sudden for
(09:34):
a lot of reasons. So it was allof those things, and then this
just moment in prayer where Itruly believe that the Lord was
saying, yeah, it is really hard.And I'm gonna call you to be
someone who, who, who knows whatit's like, and can then go and
link people who are reallyalone, ill equipped, isolated,
(09:57):
with all of the incredibleresources. Love and people who
they're, they want to help, theyjust don't know how. So it was,
it was that, and it was deeply,um, spiritual, emotional, all of
those things, and certainly notlogical, because we were, we
were very uh, strung out, so tospeak, and kind of serving out
(10:21):
of an emptiness.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (10:23):
Well, I think that's beautiful. And was
it something where, like you andyour husband Mark had been both
kind of marinating in your headsand journaling and praying about
separately, and then you kind ofcame together? Or was this
something that you said, youknow, I'm really feeling called
to do this. Like, let's do thistogether. Like, how did that
kind of kind of come about?
Kristen Orphan (10:43):
It was really interesting because at the time,
my husband Mark was serving a ina national initiative with the
federal government, a wholegrant where he was a part of a
coalition of churches in at riskcommunities that were going in
(11:04):
and providing FamilyStrengthening education. So this
was happening at the exact righttime, and of course, at the time
we didn't see it as related. Iwas recognizing a need. I had
actually resigned my full timejob that I happened to love, so
I was the one at home now doingwhat we couldn't afford, but we
(11:25):
couldn't afford not to either,which was all hands on deck with
these two little girls andtrying to keep things together.
So I was experiencing what I wasexperiencing Mark was
experiencing personally, youknow, on our family journey and
in his work, he was out, kind ofinterfacing with people who were
serving families who were brokenin a different way, biological
(11:49):
families who needed more skills.So what happened that kind of
linked these things together wasI just went with him, you know,
to kind of get out. And I wentwith him to a retreat. He was
there for work that he, youknow, in this, in this federal
grant, and we, and I was justthere to get a break, quite
honestly, yeah, and, and thenthis amazing, magical thing
(12:14):
happened that we listened tothis content that was being
encouraged to these at riskfamilies, and we thought that is
we literally drove home andsaid, that's what's missing,
because we recognized a need. Weexperienced the need. I told
you, we felt incredibly empty.Then it was like this beautiful
(12:38):
gift. It wasn't conjured up byus. We thought, you know, in the
ocean of need, there's this onething that makes sense, that if
we could take this one thing andthat one thing in that
particular experience, wasmarriage education. Now it was
part of a larger program thatincluded parenting and all of
(13:01):
the things, but it was marriageeducation. And what we had been
seeing over and over is that inall of the training and all of
the equipping and all of eventhe required ongoing training
for families like ours, peoplewere not talking about marriage.
What was this doing? And yet wewere seeing people's marriages
fall apart, because the way ahusband and a wife, a man and a
(13:24):
woman faced certain things likethis, are very different, and we
were seeing the people'srelationships were getting
pulled apart, yeah, and so, andthe way two Human beings
approach things, so norelationship. So anyway, we
drove away. So that's the answerto your question. That's where
(13:45):
it started to become an us, likewe both see this thing, and we
both see how this particulartool could be the one thing that
we could start offering topeople. That's how this whole
thing started. We saw a need, wesaw a resource, and we thought
(14:06):
we could do this. And we starteddreaming on that drive home
about the first basicallymarriage retreat. It was a two
day retreat that we would offerspecifically to foster, adoptive
families at the time, eventhough we were a kinship family,
we didn't even really see itthat way. We just thought we're
taking care of a family member.So it was foster adoptive
(14:28):
families. We said, We can, wecan do this thing, and we think
that families like us would bereally hungry for it.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (14:38):
I think what's really beautiful about
that is, when we look at bigpicture, in your case, the
foster care system, adoption,what families are going through,
kinship care, it can feel reallybig. It is really big. And so
what I love about that is youknew there was. Is a gap that
(15:00):
you could that you were seeing,but you didn't try to step into
it and say, Well, we're going tofix the whole system, and we're
going to do all this and that,like you guys came in very
specifically on a we know we canmake an impact here. And so
we're going to lean into this,and we're really going to
support families in this way,and then take it step by step by
step, and so as you kind oflaunched into that first
(15:22):
retreat, as you starteddeveloping, as you kind of
started building your ownnonprofit, what was it that kind
of surprised you about thenonprofit world and actually
then running a nonprofit?
Kristen Orphan (15:36):
Well, I think that the thing that surprised me
was more I was coming out of thechurch world, and I thought that
people, specifically churches,would see the need and be
(15:58):
willing to step up in biggerways at the beginning than they
did. I thought it would beeasier to, yeah, that's really
funny, because easy andnonprofit, it just doesn't often
have the, you know, fall in thesame sentence. So I think I was
surprised somewhat again, naivethat what we would do is be a
(16:21):
bridge. I thought that bridgewould be built a lot faster,
because I don't say that in acondemning way, in any any way,
because I came out of thechurch, ministry world, staff in
I understand that everybody,whether it's a church or a
nonprofit, has a whole lot ofthings they're trying to do.
Just because this thing is myone thing doesn't mean it's
(16:42):
going to be your one thing. Soit wasn't, it wasn't even a
disappointment, more of just asurprise that the bridge that we
were called to build has taken alot longer now, as an older
person, having done this for along time, I I understand the
(17:03):
even the wisdom, the gift thatit takes a while to build things
it should take a while to buildsomething that will last, and I
would just say slow, just in thesame way that you affirmed that
anyone who sees a Need shouldstep cautiously, one thing at a
time, in not suggesting any oneperson is gonna solve something
(17:28):
or fix an entire system,whatever it may be, I just think
a pacing of the building ofsomething, even if you're
building to serve this onething, taking your time to do it
is the wisest way, yeah,
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (17:47):
and that's one of the things that I've
loved about working with yourwith you and Mark specifically.
But finally, home as aorganization is that you are
very deeply rooted. Even thoughyour services have expanded
beyond that initial workshopthat you do, it is still very
much rooted in that as a corelike we're here to help families
become the best versions ofthemselves and be able to each
(18:10):
individually be the bestversions of themselves. You're
also open to kind of shifts andfiguring out, how do we best get
this in front of the rightpeople. How do we best serve
people in a changing landscape?And so as you kind of, you know,
started and you started growing,and you started seeing the
(18:30):
impact and the positivity thatyou were impacting on these
families COVID hits, and all ofa sudden, your in person
programming no longer can exist.But that only means that what
the families need is prompt isgreater than what it was before
COVID Now that everybody's kindof stuck in their home. So how,
how is it that you are kind ofin a mindset way, like when that
(18:51):
hit, and you're trying tonavigate change, and you're
trying to figure out, okay,well, now what do we do? And
you're trying to pivot, like,how do you guys move through
that? Or, how did you movethrough that at the time as a
team to kind of figure out whatyou were going to do and how you
were going to approach thatsituation.
Kristen Orphan (19:06):
Yeah, and so many people had to do that,
right? And did it, you know, didit well? And most of us the
answer was virtual, something wecouldn't have imagined. I'm sure
you saw and were ready for that.We We had this idea that in
order for it to mean something,it had to be face to face. So
when I look back now, I realizethat the way you remain flexible
(19:32):
is that you stay true to yourmission and flexible on your
method. I could see that rightbefore COVID, this thing, none
of us could have imagined it wasstart we were building. Had
spent some years building theframework around the method.
Here's how we, you know, servefamilies in person. Here are all
(19:56):
of our protocols, etc, etc. Allincredibly important. Yeah. I
can see how we started down aroad of really becoming linked
to the method, whereas COVIDrequired that we just take a
(20:16):
look at the mission and in bywhatever means possible deliver
that mission. And I'm gratefulfor that. It with all the
heartbreak of COVID for so manypeople in our world, I'm
grateful that it gave us anopportunity to see that we could
(20:39):
deliver we could use differentmethods to deliver our mission
in thereby impacting morepeople. The work we did to
create the infrastructure andthe methods around our in person
there that was not wasted,because we utilize that and it's
flexible and has allowed us towork in other countries and and
(21:02):
be able to share with peoplethat they want to serve in the
same way. So that's allwonderful, as long as it doesn't
become the king. And I know thatthere were times where I was
very much like, Well, no, thisis how you serve families
effectively. And there have beentimes where I've had to say, oh,
gosh, I guess that actuallyisn't a, you know, like some a
(21:26):
hill to die on, but you, youknow, you learn. And that's the
bottom line, is you just youflex, and you go, Hmm, you know,
maybe I could be open. And thenthere are those things as you
say, No, this is a nonnegotiable. You just have to
remain open and listen to peoplewho have experience in other
deliveries, other methods, andthen it really crystallizes the
(21:52):
parts of your mission that youwon't let go of.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (21:54):
Yeah, yeah, that's so good. And so that kind
of leads into, I mean, finally,home has been around for over 20
years now, and so how burnout issuch a real thing for
development people, forexecutive directors, for
founders, for, I mean, for boardmembers, you have had a team
(22:17):
around you that has supportedyou for A good chunk of that
time. But how do you kind ofstay in it, like, how do you
stay energized to keep doingthis work you handle a lot of
the creative and the programmingside of things. So how do you
kind of let the burnout keepthat at bay? And how do you stay
in it for the long haul?
Kristen Orphan (22:39):
So I did say that this started out of our
faith, and I will never, everlose sight of that. And that has
several implications. One is, Iam a manager, not an owner. This
is not the Christian orphan orthe mark and Kristen orphan show
or ministry. And when you startsomething, it's tempting to
(23:00):
believe that, and also a lot ofpeople kind of want to project
that on you, so you can start tobelieve the hype, and you can
believe it for good or bad, youknow, it's all your
responsibility or it's all yourfault. And as a leader, there's
some of that, but I have triedto learn over the years,
(23:21):
sometimes better than others,that this is not about me, and
that I don't want it to live ordie based on my capacity or even
my endurance. So couplepractical things. One is through
these years, I've taken twosabbaticals.
(23:45):
That is an incredibly wonderfulreminder and humble reminder
that life goes on without you.We've seen great growth when
I've stepped away, which isreally wonderful. We surround
ourselves with really goodpeople who are experts in what
they do, like you and we listento them, because if I have to
(24:09):
control everything, then I'mright back to being the center
of this universe. And not onlydo I not believe that for this
organization, I don't believethat for life, I don't believe
that in my relationships, Idon't believe anything. I mean,
there is a God, and I'm not him,and I I can't carry the weight
of this organization, of thisfamily. I wasn't meant to. I was
(24:31):
meant to be obedient, to do mypart, to invite others and even
facilitate like, I mean, youknow Sammy, you're one of, you
know, a whole team of people whoare gifted at things that I'm
not gifted at, that Mark's notgifted at. But also it's a
delight to see you work in yoursweet spot, bring things, bring
(24:54):
a perspective, and also to justenjoy it. You know, I mean, I we
want that for. People around ustoo, like do what you're good
at, do what you enjoy doing.Yes, it is for the betterment of
the organization, but, I mean,it's, it is for your good too,
because you're doing what you'remade to do. And I just don't
(25:15):
ever want to lose sight of that,and it's a reminder of those
things. So you you give away,you know, you take
responsibility, but you giveaway credit, and you give away
you delegate. You're willing tolet go of things. You're willing
to let things be donedifferently. Again, go back to
the mission and your values.Other than that, there is a
(25:37):
there's so many ways to dothings, and I don't, I don't
want to control all of that whenyou feel like it's all up to
you, that's a recipe forburnout, and that's a recipe for
not just burnout of youpersonally, but burning through
people and burning out theorganization like it's done when
(25:57):
you're done. And we've seen thatand that, again, that's
heartbreaking, because peoplewill pour themselves into
something for whatever durationof time, holding on so tightly
because of a good, good thing.They want to do this. They want
to be obedient. They want to befaithful. But it's, you know,
that that just doesn't lastforever. And things happen too.
(26:18):
I mean, you know, throughoutthis time, my husband had a very
severe health issue, that wasone of the reasons for a
sabbatical. Like, things happen.We're human and we are
replaceable, and we have to havethat mindset, and we've always
got to be looking at who's goingto step in. That doesn't mean
that, finally, home has to goforever, if it's not meant to go
(26:41):
forever, no problem, but itwon't be for lack of releasing
leadership.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (26:49):
I think for me working because you said, I
love that. You said it's notjust about we have people on the
team that bring things to thetable, that are experts in those
areas, but that we have fundoing it. And I think that that
is very true, and that it's avery collaborative environment.
And so we are a small team. Imean, we all bring different
(27:11):
things to the table, but yet,when we're coming together on
new ideas, or we're comingtogether on new programs and
services, everybody kind ofcomes at the table and puts in
their own little two cents, andthen we're like, Okay, this is
the best we all move forward,and everybody's great and on
board. But it's not ever justone person saying, This is what
we're doing. Everybody fall inline. The fact that you and mark
(27:31):
both welcome feedback andengagement and ideas and like,
Okay, well, how does this affectthis and affect that? I think
that alone is a very uniqueleadership quality that most
organizations don't have,whether they're founder LED or
not, especially founder ledorganizations. So I think that
message about kind of releasingis so important, and I hope that
(27:51):
people hear that, because it'snot a releasing of your energy
and what you've put behind it inyour history with the
organization. Letting go of thatcontrol does not mean that you
become what's the word I'mlooking for, not invalid. It
doesn't minimize yourcontribution to the
(28:13):
organization. I think maybethat's sometimes where people
get stuck as somebody who's beenin an organization for so long,
is that I might become obsolete,as opposed to people
understanding the gifts thatI've given to this organization.
So I think the way that youworded that was really, really
great, but also just kind of aswe look to 2025 for your
(28:34):
organization. What are youexcited about? Like, because I
know there's lots of greatopportunities that are showing
up. But what are you excitedabout? What? What kind of lights
you up? And what do you see,kind of bringing you the most
joy in 2025 with finally home,or just in general?
Kristen Orphan (28:54):
Well, I think one of the things that I try to
answer these questions with,kind of the first thing that
pops into my mind, because I'magain, someone who likes about a
lot, a lot of different things.So I'll just say, we're here for
I am excited about our team. I'mexcited about giving away
leadership. And I will just say,you know, Mark, and I don't do
(29:14):
any of this perfectly, and we'vehad seasons where we've had to
learn the hard way, so thatthat's just something that I
would encourage any leader, it'sjust like be cautious to say I'm
this kind of leader. I'm thatkind of leader, because as a
leader, we have to grow andchange and learn and all of us.
Because I think that some, oneof the reasons people hold on
tightly is is just thisincredible sense of
(29:37):
responsibility. They want to beresponsible to what they have
chosen to lead. And that is areally good value and and can be
a trap for any and all of uswhen we're, you know, feeling
that good sense ofresponsibility, and it turns
toxic when it becomes somethinglike, oh my gosh, like, I. Have
(30:00):
to be in everything, becauseit's my responsibility. So
surrounding yourself with peopleyou trust is one of the ways
that you're kind to yourself,because you can begin to release
that. And trust is a really bigdeal. And many of us leaders,
you know, we've we'veexperienced the negative side of
(30:20):
that too, when you've givensomething away so that that's
that's life, and that's the hardthing. And so we have some of
our bad habits, you know, we'veearned them, so to speak, but we
want to keep learning andgrowing through them. So I am
excited about our team. It is arelief because we've had some
folks get trained up in waysthat in 2025 now they don't need
(30:43):
us so much, and that iswonderful. We've been walking
along and tried to be diligentin the training process, and now
we're releasing some of them,and we've joked as a team and
said training wheels are comingoff now, like, go, be free, you
know, flourish. We want that,you know, and especially you
know, my husband, he's veryentrepreneurial, and so he's
(31:05):
always thinking about the nextthing, the next thing, and I
tend to be the one who's alittle bit behind him, going,
Okay, let's make sure that we'vegot the structures in place, but
we both want to release. So I'mexcited about that, because I
believe that we've got somefolks that are being released
into things. And I love in ourteam meetings, when we do this
(31:25):
thing called Round Robin and weget reports, I love it when
somebody reports on somethingthat I had no idea, you know,
it's like, Oh, that's reallyfun. And also super cool that
you are totally handling thatand I did not know. And I get to
be, you know, excited aboutthat. I'm excited about our
(31:46):
growing virtual trainings andfootprint and then just this,
oh, I love our family journeyshow, because we just get to
talk to people who are from allwalks of life, and it's it's
related to families like ours,but it's not like our training,
(32:06):
it's more just this kind ofexpanding of the family. So all
of those things I'm prettyexcited about, but probably the
very first one is just that ourteam is being released to really
lead their areas.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (32:23):
Yeah, and I want to make sure that we make
it clear too, that the cultureand the way to allow the team to
be able to take charge, take offtheir training wheels, and move
forward is that you've alsobuilt a culture of failure is
okay. Any idea can come to thetable, and that sometimes we try
things, they don't work sogreat. Sometimes they work
(32:45):
really well. We're going to trysome things. And that culture of
allowing people to be creativeand come to the table with
ideas. Because, like you said inthe Round Robins, sometimes
things come up from other peoplethat aren't even involved in
that particular task, butbecause we had it in a group
setting, now the whole thinggets lifted up another level
because they're like, Oh, Ididn't think about that. Or
(33:06):
that's a great concept, or let'slike, bring so I think that is
super important, that culture sokind of reinforcing your Don't
worry about the type of leaderyou are, necessarily foster the
right culture within your team.And you know, it kind of all
comes together on their on theirown. So I love that. And of
course, the family journey showis great, and we will link all
(33:27):
of those links up in the shownotes. But Kristen, as we kind
of wrap this up, if you weregoing to maybe share something
to listeners out there that aremaybe year end didn't go so
great, or year end went awesome.Or maybe they're just kind of
struggling in their day to day,or just need to be kind of
uplifted in order to keep doingthe work that we know is so
(33:50):
important that they're doing.Kind of, how do you give
yourself a pep talk? Or, like,is there a particular verse that
that brings you comfort? Or howdo you kind of, what might you
say to somebody that just needsa little extra boost to just
kind of keep, keep doing theincredible work that we know
they need to do. All right, putyou on the spot with that one. I
bet
Kristen Orphan (34:09):
that's okay. I love that. I love that. So, I
mean, there is a verse inIsaiah, and I believe it's in
the chapter 43 I'm not entirelysure the verse, possibly 43 one,
but you can read the chapter,but it basically God is saying,
when you go through deep waters,I will be with you. And we've
(34:31):
been doing, actually, we do aspirit we call it spiritual
formation, optional foreverybody to join in on
Wednesday before our teammeeting, just for encouragement.
And we've been going through aseries on not being anxious. And
what we keep coming to is thatthe antidote to this anxiety,
whatever its root, and certainlyleaders, Oh, wow. I mean, we
(34:55):
carry this weight with us so butI'm. Going to come back to
anxiety, whatever it was,whether it's like you said,
Sammy, we didn't have a goodyear end and so we're stressed,
or we had a really great yearend, and now we've got a, you
know, we've got to really liveup to this amazing like,
expectation, whatever it is,anxiety, right? Worry. We keep
(35:19):
coming back to the same thing.The antidote to anxiety is
knowing that the Lord is nearand we have been promised his
presence daily, moment bymoment, and that this, I mean,
for me, it just, I cannot liveanything you know we didn't even
get into our personal journey asa family and why you shouldn't
(35:39):
necessarily start a nonprofitwhile you're living out the
hardest parts of your story. Butthat is just what that is, the
way it that way it went. It keptus humble. Um, there is no way
for me to live or do, nor wouldI ever want like this is not a
cause to me. This is an act ofobedience. This is not I want to
(36:00):
do something good. This is, thisis an act of obedience, period.
I am not that good of a personthat I would give my life to
something like this. It is, youknow, all of us, we don't get
paid enough. We don't. It'slike, this is an act of
(36:22):
obedience, and I know who I'mobeying, and he has promised to
be present with me in everythingthat he is making away, and he
is both working in me as heworks through me, and at the end
of the day, as I said from thebeginning, I'm not an owner, I'm
a manager and I am his child.And Jesus says his yoke is easy
(36:44):
and His burden is light. Heinvites us to come away. Even
circling back to you talkedabout burnout and sabbatical,
well, the root is Sabbath. Wehave to take breaks. We are
never if we say, oh, after thisseason is done, we take a break.
Once we get to this point, we'regoing to take a break. You
cannot do that, and that's nothow life was meant to be lived.
(37:05):
And so to answer your question,no matter what your worry, no
matter what your burden is, justremember you're not alone in it,
that there is a God who lovesyou more than you can imagine,
who's walking in it. And if thisthing is worth doing. It's
because he put it on your heart,and he is. He never asked you to
(37:26):
do it without him. He's justout. He's inviting you like we
invite team members and staffmembers. He's inviting you to be
a part of it for your bettermentand to be used, you know, for
good in this world, we just haveto remember that it is not all
up to us. That's it.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (37:44):
I love that so good. Well, Kristen, great
way to wrap this up if peoplewant to learn more about
finally, home. How can they dothat?
Kristen Orphan (37:55):
Well, you can absolutely check out our website
that the excellent Sammycontinues to oversee and rework
as we grow faster and let herknow. Oh yeah, Sammy, we're
doing this now too. So familyhome.net, and then you'll share
all of the links to all of theother things. Reach out if you
can't find what you're lookingfor, contact us, because we
(38:18):
would just love to have aconversation with you and to
encourage you, and for all ofyou leaders, maybe even in
unrelated fields, if there'sanything we can do just to
encourage you today, then pleasereach out to us about that too.
all of that up
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (38:32):
Yep, and we will link in the show notes at
the first click.net/ 293, asyour marketing person. That was
kind of a test just to you know,kind of see if you you got your
spiel down for where to directpeople for more information.
Thank you so much for being hereon this episode.
Kristen Orphan (38:47):
I really appreciate it. Yeah, thanks for
inviting me.
Sami Bedell-Mulhern (38:51):
Thank you so much again to Kristen for
joining me today. Everythingwill be linked up, all of the
links to the be on the journeyshow she mentioned, finally
home.net, and all of the otherways that you can connect with
them. At thefirstclick.net/293,you know of a foster, adoptive
or kinship family that could usesupport, with post placement
(39:13):
training with relationships withtrauma and or mental health
support, please make sure youreach out to them. They have
some great resources andprograms available to help
families nationwide, and youcan, again, check them out at
finally, home.net. They have asoft spot in my heart, and I
have so enjoyed working withthem for the past few years.
(39:33):
Make sure you subscribe whereveryou listen, and head on over to
the podcast a THON, and makesure that you grab some other
episodes that you might want tolisten to featuring other
nonprofits again. All this wholeweek in March, there are over
1000 podcasts that arededicating their episodes to
featuring nonprofits, and so weare so grateful to be a part of
it. Thank you so much forlistening, and again, we will
(39:54):
see you in the next one.
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