November 24, 2023 • 36 mins
Join us, Steph and Beth, as we embark on a festive journey to explore the emotional roller coaster that is the holiday season. Ever wondered why holidays stir up such complex emotions? We'll be examining the joy, frustration, comfort, and nostalgia that come with holiday traditions and how our past memories and family dynamics shape our perspectives.
Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod147
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308
Stephanie Kostopoulos : https://www.stephaniekostopoulos.com/
Beth Demme: http://bethdemme.com/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Beth Demme (00:03):
Welcome to the Discovering Our Scars podcast,
where we share personalexperiences.
We can learn from each other.
Our mission is to talk aboutthings you might relate to but
that you don't hear beingdiscussed in other places.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:13):
Our hope is that you're encouraged to
have honest conversations withpeople in your own life.
Beth Demme (00:16):
I'm Steph and I'm Beth.
On today's show we're going tohave an honest conversation
titled why Do Holidays HitDifferent?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:23):
Then we'll share a slice of life, and
the show will close withquestions for reflection.
We'll invite you to reflect onthe conversation in your own
life.
Beth Demme (00:29):
So here we are in the swing of things.
Thanksgiving has happened.
Yes, it's like we're barrelingtowards Christmas.
So exciting, such an excitingtime of the year.
Does it feel different for youthis time of year?
I think it hits different.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:45):
Yeah, I think so.
We should talk about that, yeah.
Beth Demme (00:48):
Why does this time of year hit different?
Because it really does.
I mean, it is a.
It's my favorite time of year.
Is it your?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:55):
Yeah, that's an interesting question,
Because you said that I wasthinking is it my favorite time
of year?
I don't think it's my favoritetime of year.
You know, every time we're in aseason, we start a season, I
think, oh man, this is great.
Like we started fall and I'mlike, oh, I like fall.
And then I was like, but thenwhen spring hits, I'm like I
(01:16):
like spring, it was summer.
Beth Demme (01:17):
I don't love it.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (01:19):
I don't love it because it's so hot, but
then I like winter, so I don'tthink this is my favorite time
of year.
But I do think this time ofyear is feels different, with
all of the holidays almoststacked up.
When you kind of think about it, there's like a ton of holidays
stacked up and then you justit's, you're almost like closing
out a year and you're slowingdown and it just is like natural
(01:41):
feeling with like cause it getsdarker sooner and it's colder
and so you're almost bundled upand kind of you know shutting
down for shutting down one yearand welcoming another year.
So there's just, yeah, I meanit's.
I wouldn't say it's my favoritetime of year, but I would say I
definitely like like this timeof year cause it does feel
different than the rest of theyear.
Beth Demme (02:01):
Yeah, I think it is my my favorite time of year, and
part of it, I think, is becauseit seems like there are things
that people generally lookforward to, so people feel kind
of I don't know more joyful,happier I mean not always right.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (02:16):
Like, yeah it's, it's interesting
because you do have these two,these two sides, like you know
you, you're either like love Ifeel like you either love this
time of year or this is a reallyhard time of year for you
because I think, the samereasons why it can be like a
joyous time, it can also theopposite of it can be like a sad
(02:36):
, depressing time of year forthe same reasons as Joyful for
you, like if you've had a lot of, if you used to spend it with
family and like had some goodmemories, and then, like some of
those have passed or somethingtraumatic happened in this time
of year, then it can be thecompletely opposite this could
be your least favorite time ofyear, yeah.
Beth Demme (02:54):
I mean I.
I hope you won't mind me sayingthis, but this is my husband's
least favorite time of year.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (02:58):
Oh, wow, we should have had him on.
Yeah, that would have beeninteresting to hear his, his
take on that.
Because, yeah, I definitelywouldn't say it's my favorite, I
wouldn't say it's my leastfavorite, but I think it's taken
me a while to hone in on thistime of year for me.
So I think I've gone throughstages of loving it, of not
(03:19):
loving it, because I thinkthere's so much tradition
wrapped up in holidays.
That usually is a good thing.
It's like, oh, traditions, welike traditions.
But sometimes I don't liketraditions for traditions sake,
like I don't like to dosomething just because that's
what we're supposed to do during.
You know, this time of yearthat that just makes me kind of
annoyed, it doesn't bring mecomfort.
Like I don't really likeThanksgiving foods and we would
(03:42):
like have Thanksgiving foodsevery year.
My mom doesn't like them either.
And we finally were one yearlike why are we doing this?
Like none of us like this food,why are we eating this food?
And then we finally were like,okay, let's make some changes.
And now I like Thanksgivingmore.
You know, when you kind of takecontrol and decide for
yourselves and not just do itbecause you know that's what
we're supposed to do.
But how about you Do?
You do things, cause that'swhat we're supposed to do, and
(04:04):
you enjoy that I mean, I likeconformity.
Beth Demme (04:08):
And so I know I do, and I think part of that comes
from how I grew up, where Ireally felt like we were always
on the outside and like we werenever really doing.
That's not.
It's not fair to say we werenever doing the things other
families were doing.
I didn't feel like we were.
I knew my family was different.
I mean, I knew that we weren'tas I don't know the right words.
(04:30):
but like that, we we hadtroubles that other families
didn't have.
As an adult, now, looking backon it, I'm like a lot of
families have those troubles,but as a kid it really felt, you
know, isolating to me, and so Iliked that connection to the
rest of the world.
Oh, thanksgiving is a time ofyear when we're doing what other
families are doing.
This is good, right, we'regoing to eat turkey.
(04:53):
I don't really like turkey, butwe're going to eat turkey
because that's what otherfamilies are doing.
So that brought me a sense ofcomfort.
So there are a lot oftraditions that I embrace for
the sake of tradition.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (05:06):
Do you have a favorite tradition that
is like a society's traditionthat you really like, or do you
even really like the societytraditions Like?
You might not like them, butyou just do them because, like
you said, you want to be likeeveryone else.
Beth Demme (05:18):
Yeah, no, I mean, there is comfort in it for me.
So I do like it.
Like we always do have turkeyon Thanksgiving and it's not my
favorite food, but I can eat itonce a year, thank goodness.
The tradition is not to havefish, because I don't like to
eat fish at all, so thankgoodness, right.
But we also have to have hambecause not everybody likes
(05:40):
turkey.
So we'll have ham becauseHannah, my daughter, she doesn't
like to eat turkey.
Okay, that's reasonable.
We'll have ham.
You can have ham, I like hamtoo.
Yeah, so she has ham atThanksgiving.
And but then there are all thesides, like I love stuffing, I
love macaroni and cheese, I lovepumpkin pie.
All that stuff is good to me.
And the tradition of gathering,you know, basically in the
(06:04):
largest family group we canassemble, I love that part of
the tradition too.
So there are a lot oftraditions around Thanksgiving
that I really love.
And then at Christmas it's kindof the same thing.
You know that the to know thatwe are.
Well, one of my favoriteChristmas traditions is we open
one present on Christmas Eve.
Do you do that?
I can't remember.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (06:23):
Yes, I believe in that tradition, but
my sister in law doesn't, and soit's been a.
We haven't done it for a whilebecause, yeah, she, because.
Beth Demme (06:35):
I do believe in that .
The nibblings mom, yes.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (06:36):
And the nibblings.
You know, that's what the hall,that's what like Christmas
specific more is about, is aboutthe nibblings now, and like I
don't really care about giftgiving, but like, if there was,
yeah, I do kind of like thatidea of like one before.
Yeah, yeah, Actually, my sisterin law and my brother, both of
them, I think, agree with thatconcept, so it's like I'll
respect it.
I don't like about respect,although I give the nibblings,
(07:00):
my gift Thanksgiving, because mygift is an advent calendar
every year, so you get that waybefore.
Beth Demme (07:06):
Christmas, but you do give them something at
Christmas also, no their gift isthe advent calendar.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (07:11):
Okay, and I remind them every Christmas
member, it's become a tradition.
But every year, like I alreadybought it, I get to Lego advent
calendar.
Yeah, I love those and I alwaysask them way before which one
they want, because actuallyCostco usually has a couple of
them on sale or, you know, atCostco prices, and so I already
got all of them and I haven'twrapped them yet, but I have
(07:31):
them all and so I'll give themto them around Thanksgiving.
But I asked them every year ifthey want one, like I don't just
assume I do like the traditionof it, that that's what I always
give them and I'll say, easy, Ilike that.
But I do always ask, like, doyou want another advent calendar
?
And they like it Because Ithink it's also fun, because
Christmas, like you, especiallylike for kids, it's like you get
all these gifts on one day andit's like it almost becomes
(07:54):
white noise at some pointbecause it's just a bunch of
stuff.
And so I like the little giftevery day, like the little fun
surprise every day, like that'swhat I like.
So that's also why I wanted todo that instead of a gift on
Christmas to get lost.
Beth Demme (08:06):
Yeah, I will say we do advent calendars too and I
always have fun picking them outand I get.
We're at a point no w where Iget different ones, you know,
for different people in thefamily, but I kind of know what
I'm going to get.
Like, I got my mom a coffee onebecause she drinks a cup of
coffee every day.
Anyway, I buy Hannah a makeupone, and have you seen?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (08:27):
the Trader Joe's ones.
I haven't.
Those are really nice.
They have like a beauty.
It's not makeup, but it's likeskincare.
Yeah, yeah, and they're reallygood.
Beth Demme (08:34):
Yeah, and then I'll get.
Last year I got Peter one thathad a different cat toy every
day because he had, you know,gotten a cat not long before
that.
This year I'll probably get himsomething more food related,
something that's more for him.
Oh, costco has a dog one.
Oh, that should get that one,yeah, get that for Scooby, for
Hannah's dog and I like for acouple of years.
(08:56):
I love caramels and for acouple of years there was one
available that was differentflavored caramels, which some of
them were truly disappointing,like truly.
But the structure of the adventcalendar itself was a problem,
and so then it was like youcouldn't get one a day because
you had to disassemble the wholething, so that kind of lost its
fun and I don't even think theysaw that one anymore, couldn't
(09:16):
find it.
So yeah, so I love thattradition actually of advent
calendars.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (09:21):
You got me an advent calendar last year
with teas and actually I made anote every day of the teas, like
if I liked it, if it'ssomething that I would want, and
there was one that I really,really liked and I actually
bought it.
I bought a canister of it.
I have it and I have it likeevery other day.
Beth Demme (09:35):
Yeah, hopefully, there was like more than one out
of 25 that you liked there was.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (09:40):
Yes, there was a lot of them that I
liked, but that one like reallylike I kept like thinking about
that, like I didn't want to buylike a whole bunch of teas, and
so I was like I was like, okay,what's my very favorite in that?
Yeah, I can't remember what itwas called, but it's just like a
nice light flavor.
Beth Demme (09:55):
It's like a white tea.
I like that yeah.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (09:56):
I'm glad you liked that.
Yeah, I think advent calendarsis super fun.
I do think they probably needto change their name because
it's odd to me.
Like I understand, advent islike celebrating Jesus, it's
like it's like we're awaiting,yeah, but like they've just
become a toy for us and likemaybe a countdown calendar.
But it's weird that like itstill has like a Christian name,
(10:19):
but like nothing is Christianabout it, it's just a little toy
.
Nothing is Christian, or a toy,or a treat or something like
that.
That's nothing Christian aboutthat.
It's just odd that, like somany things have become
commercialized and this iscommercialized, but the name is
still very Christian.
Beth Demme (10:34):
Right, it's true actually that's weird, yeah,
because it's like a Christianseason, that's the first season
of the Christian year, like theyear starts over on the first
Sunday of Advent, and so and sojust the fact that that name
still stuck.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (10:46):
Like the Lego ones are called Lego advent
calendar.
Like why not a countdowncalendar?
Beth Demme (10:50):
Yeah, not Christmas countdown yeah.
I know, as if Christmas is liketoo overtly Christian, so we'll
just call it an advent calendar.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (10:57):
Yeah, that's a good point.
Yeah, it's an odd one, but asyou're talking, you're talking a
lot about, like holidays andfamily associated with that.
So to you, or do does holidayand family always go together?
Yes, they do.
Beth Demme (11:10):
It's a time when we're able to Like collectively,
like we stop and weintentionally spend more time
with family, which I don't Idon't really know, in my family
at least.
We're not good about doing thatin other times of the year,
like we don't.
I know some families you knowthey get together every summer.
My family just never did that.
So Christmas was a time whereit was like no, everybody's
(11:33):
gonna take off work and we'regonna spend time together.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (11:35):
When you say family, are you talking
about like your husband and kids, or are you talking about like
your parents, siblings?
Beth Demme (11:42):
I mean more extended family.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (11:44):
So you get together with extended
family.
Beth Demme (11:46):
Only for Thanksgiving.
So okay, so Christmas is myhusband, my kids and the kids'
grandparents and mysister-in-law.
Last year she didn't spendChristmas with us and honestly
it made us all sad.
So this year she's a travelnurse, so she has to be real
intentional about how sheschedules her contracts.
But this year she scheduled itso she can be with us at
(12:07):
Christmas, so that'll be good.
Does she have a contract here?
No, she'll take yeah, it'll beone of her off times and then.
But Thanksgiving usually well,sometimes it's both sides of our
family and sometimes it's justmy side of the family that comes
and we set up a big table.
You know, 15 or 20 people, wow.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:27):
And your house yeah.
Beth Demme (12:29):
Where do you set the table up?
We take the dining room tableand extend it to the front door.
Oh, so you turn it that way?
Okay yeah, cause it's alreadyturned.
When you walk in the front doorand you look straight ahead,
the dining room table is likestraight ahead of you.
Do you use a dining room on aregular basis?
No, we use it everyThanksgiving and Christmas.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:46):
Okay, yeah that's what I was wondering
.
Yeah, that sounds right.
Yeah, that's about right, butit's at least it's open.
It's not like a closed off roomthat you never go in, so it's
not like it just keeps the houseopen.
Beth Demme (12:57):
And actually being able to extend the table in that
way was part of how we designedthe dining room.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (13:02):
Yeah, that's right.
Beth Demme (13:03):
So that it could extend into the four year.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (13:05):
It's a lot of forward thinking.
Beth Demme (13:06):
that's good, yeah, yeah it was intentional on our
part, because we really did wantto spend it with.
We knew we wanted to spend theholidays with as much family as
we could gather together.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (13:13):
So that's wow.
That's like really forethoughtand also shows how important the
holidays is to you, is likewhen you literally design your
house you thought, okay, we needa big table for Thanksgiving,
so how can we design this roomto fit that?
So that is real dedication toholidays.
So I could see family holidaysfor sure.
Beth Demme (13:33):
Yeah, does it work that way for you?
Do you think holiday and familygo together?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (13:38):
It has in the past, like growing up like
we would get together withfamily.
Like I said, I don't reallylike things where it feels like
we have to do this because thisis what you have to do.
So I don't really like to gettogether with extended family
during this time of year.
I like to see like my niblingsand brother and sister-in-law
(14:00):
and a lot of times we do gettogether for Thanksgiving or
Christmas.
They don't live until it hasanymore, so it becomes a little
bit more complicated andsometimes they're with my
sister-in-law side of the family.
So I personally like to spendtime with family random times of
the year.
Like I prefer just gettingtogether like randomly and not
(14:21):
having this like forcedsociety's pressure of like this
is when we get together, whichis like completely opposite than
you Like you love being forcedsocietally to get together, but
I just never have enjoyed thesocial norms of like this is
like why we do stuff.
So I, but I have I do like thistime of year.
(14:42):
For me part of it is like theweather, like I feel like the
weather kind of is different.
Like it's cozy weather.
It's cozy Like, and I like coldweather.
It's usually hot here, justalways hot, even like we've been
having some like fall weather,which is really nice, but it's
gonna get back to hot days Likeit does.
So I like when we're in likewinter time and it's just pretty
(15:06):
consistently cold.
It's not always, but I reallylike that.
Feel so for me, like that's whyit hits.
Different too.
It's just like the weathermakes it is different here than
it typically is, cause, as muchas everyone loves sunshine and
everything, I'm not that big afan of it.
I know I live in Florida.
It's wasted on me.
Beth Demme (15:25):
I knew a woman once who told me that they they had
moved to Tallahassee because herhusband had accepted a new job
here.
But they came and visitedbefore he accepted the job and
she was like but I feel like thecompany intentionally brought
us during the second week ofNovember, when the weather would
be perfect and crisp and lovely, because now it's July and it's
(15:51):
not like that that's smart.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (15:54):
That's a smart move.
Yeah, great time to bring them.
Beth Demme (15:57):
There might have been some intentional thought
gone into that, like when youshould come visit, because
November in Tallahassee isamazing, yeah, yeah, I
definitely think the weatherplays a factor in the overall
like joy of the season too, youknow, cause?
It's not, it's not, oh, it's sohot, it's, you know,
oppressively hot, but also it'snot so cold that it's like, oh,
(16:19):
we can't.
You know, oh, you know, I'mfreezing, I gotta.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (16:22):
Yeah, I mean, it's still Florida cold.
It's still Florida cold, yeah.
Beth Demme (16:25):
Don't get.
Don't get crazy.
Listen, one of my favorite, oneof my favorite colleagues, one
of my favorite people in town.
She's talking about me people.
It's gonna be me no-transcriptso close so close, is moving
because they wanted to livesomewhere cold.
So they are moving to Wisconsin, which is not.
(16:47):
Are they a Methodist pastor?
Yeah, it's not the easiestthing to do, Like she had to
tell the bishop.
You know, for the conference inWisconsin.
Hey, I'd really like to comeserve a church there, if you
have one.
Where are they from?
They're both native Floridians.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (17:03):
Oh weird.
So they just had always that'sa strange one.
Beth Demme (17:07):
They have no family.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (17:08):
And they just want to be somewhere cold.
Beth Demme (17:09):
They just want to live somewhere that it's not so
hot.
I mean I can get behind that.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (17:12):
I like cold so and I would be okay with
that, like living somewhere.
Beth Demme (17:16):
I mean, people always say it gets old fast, but
yeah, actually I said they'reboth native Floridians and
that's not quite right, becauseI think her husband grew up
somewhere cold because he knowshow to play ice hockey, so he
must have grown up somewherecold.
Yeah, but she's definitely anative Floridian, like you know,
the hot part of Florida, likeTampa, yeah, wow.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (17:33):
Well, as a pastor, I feel like especially
the Christmas holiday is likebig for you.
Is that something?
Do you really like the?
I mean that seems like a sillyquestion, but do you really like
the Christian?
Beth Demme (17:47):
holiday.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (17:49):
I guess all that goes into it, Cause I
would assume, as a pastor,there's a lot of work things for
you Like.
Is that stressful, Is that goodfor you Like?
And I also know there's likethere's a couple services that
you do around this time of year.
Beth Demme (18:01):
Yeah, I do extra services.
I also do an extra Bible study,so December is very busy.
Yeah, because I teach two extraclasses every week, so Sunday
and Wednesday, that adds a lotto my schedule.
And then we have all of ouradvent traditions in the church
and then we have I always liketo have a blue Christmas service
(18:23):
, which is, you know, toacknowledge that sometimes we
feel blue at the holidays andthat's okay.
That doesn't dishonor God, itdoesn't dishonor Christmas.
So I always like to have thatservice.
And then we'll have a ChristmasEve service.
And last year I'm rolling myeyes, I know you can't hear-
that, but I'm rolling my eyes,because last year Christmas was
(18:44):
on a Sunday and so they're allof these.
I'm just going to say it selfrighteous people, self righteous
pastors who are like, of coursewe're going to have church on
Christmas and I'm like you knowwhat we're going to do it like.
We do it every year, which iswe have a Christmas Eve service,
because let's go back toGenesis the day starts with the
(19:07):
evening before, so a ChristmasEve service is a Christmas
service.
You know, in the way Genesisworks, the day goes from evening
to evening.
So yeah, but there were so manypeople last year who were like
you're a terrible pastor if youdon't have a Christmas day
service, and I'm like I don'tever have a Christmas day
(19:27):
service.
Just because Christmas is on aSunday, it doesn't change that
for me.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (19:30):
Well.
So that's interesting becausethat means this year Christmas
is on a Monday.
So will you have services inthe morning and at night, or
just at night?
Well, on.
Beth Demme (19:39):
Sunday we're only going to have a nighttime
service On Sunday.
On Sunday we're only going tohave a Christmas Eve service,
which is a little.
It's a little tricky, just atmy particular church, because we
have opened up our facilitiesto other congregations to be
able to meet there because theydidn't have space, and so we
normally meet in the morning andthen we have a church that
meets in the afternoon or acongregation that meets in the
(20:00):
afternoon and a congregationthat meets at night, and so I've
had to tell the one that meetsat night hey, sorry, we're going
to be using the building then.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (20:08):
Would you like to have a morning service?
Is it a Christian?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so then wouldthey also be celebrating
Christmas?
Beth Demme (20:14):
Eve they may have.
They may actually do aChristmas day service instead of
they're trying to decide.
But yeah, but I just ChristmasEve service is a huge part of my
Christmas tradition, so much.
So you know, steven and I, ourwedding anniversary is December
23rd.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (20:31):
Yeah, wow , we got married on the December
23rd.
Beth Demme (20:33):
On our honeymoon.
We went to church on ChristmasEve and I wasn't a pastor then.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (20:39):
It was just that Did he not like this
time of year back then as well,cause, you said, this isn't his
favorite time of year now.
Beth Demme (20:47):
Yeah, that is such a great question.
We don't know.
We've talked about it a lot Okayokay, you know, we got married
right after we had bothgraduated from college and we
were pretty young, and so wedon't know if he wasn't aware
that he did not like the monthof December.
But throughout our so we'vebeen married, so throughout our
(21:10):
28 years of marriage, it hasdefinitely become very apparent
he does not like the month ofDecember, and so I said that to
him a few years ago.
I'm like I'm so sorry that Iwanted to get married in
December because it's myfavorite time of the year and
that it's a time of year youdon't like.
The reason that he doesn't likeDecember, which we finally
unpacked, and we, I mean it wasa big enough issue that we had
(21:30):
to unpack it.
You know what I'm saying, butthis is really tragic.
But when he was in middleschool, his best friend died by
suicide and it was in earlyDecember and he tucked that away
, right.
But you know, your bodyremembers that kind of trauma
and grief, and so December wouldjust become this, like you know
(21:52):
, he just was a mess.
I didn't know why.
And then, like I said, we hadto unpack it.
We literally had to research itto find out when that friend had
died, because he said, I wonder, because my brother died in
August, and so I know August isgenerally a month where I'm
things, I'm out of sorts, andthen I'm like, oh wait, it's
(22:13):
August, that's why I'm out ofsorts, anyway.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:15):
So yeah, has getting married, so it
hasn't really changed hisperspective of December, though,
having it as like a joyous timeas well being married.
Beth Demme (22:25):
Yeah, I think that once he was able to name it, you
know how sometimes you namesomething and it goes from being
really huge to being reallytiny.
I think that it has been thatfor him, because the last I
don't know three or four yearshas been better for sure.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:39):
So I think you say this time of year,
but would you say, is Christmasyour favorite holiday?
Beth Demme (22:45):
Yeah, it's really Christmas and it's the lead up
to Christmas that I really love.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:49):
It's just like the whole everything goes
into it.
Beth Demme (22:51):
Which means sometimes after Christmas is a
let down Like New Year's.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:55):
Yeah, it's like a let down.
Yeah, do you do something forNew Year's New.
Beth Demme (22:58):
Year's feels like a lot of social pressure.
Maybe with that I get a littleglimpse of what you feel when
you're like I'm not really intothe social norms, cause I think
I feel that way about New Year's, like why do I have to stay up?
Late.
Yeah, okay, all right, I'llstay up.
Oh, I'm not gonna go out andparty and have a great.
Oh, I'm such a dud you know, Idon't want to.
(23:22):
I don't want to.
Don't want to put on a sparklydress and go hang out with
people who are being fake.
I don't wanna do that.
So have you ever?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (23:30):
done it.
Oh, I've never done it.
I've never had a desire to doany of it.
Beth Demme (23:35):
Yeah, but so the one thing we do on New Year's I
will say one of our traditions,and we pick this up somewhere
along the way we picked up theidea of you open the door at
midnight and you let the oldyear out and you let the new
year in.
I think that we picked that upin Russia.
Oh, okay, because we were therefor New Year's, which New
(23:58):
Year's is their big holiday.
It's much bigger than Christmas.
Also, they celebrate OrthodoxChristmas, which is January 6th,
not December 25th, so NewYear's comes first and, yeah, I
think that we picked that upthat year, that 2002 to 2003,.
That New Year that we werethere, the bugs come in.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:14):
I have a feeling bugs come in as well.
Beth Demme (24:16):
No, no, we don't leave the door open that long,
Okay it's just like an out.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:20):
Yeah, okay.
Beth Demme (24:21):
The years have to move fast.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:22):
Yeah, okay, come on, they're busy,
they're on a schedule, but.
Beth Demme (24:25):
I'm ching yeah, wow, my own sound effects.
Did you not know that I camewith my own sound effects?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:34):
You're just one full package there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, good job,beth.
Well, all applauding you.
Beth Demme (24:45):
Steph's got sound effects too.
I'm gonna say it Her's her bear.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:51):
I've been waiting for that one.
I don't know why I have that onhere, but I was waiting and
found it found a use for it Okay.
Beth Demme (24:57):
so we're talking about Thanksgiving and Christmas
and New Year's, and I'm talkinga lot.
What is your favorite holiday?
None of those.
None of those.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (25:05):
No, okay, my favorite holiday is July 4th
.
Yes, the 4th of July Is it?
Oh, I got it right.
We might have talked about itbefore.
Yeah, my favorite holiday isthe 4th of July because it's
like one of those randomholidays that is not like a big
deal, usually like no one reallymakes it a big deal, and it's
kind of like, yeah, whatever,and people just usually just get
together and barbecue, whatever, which is fun.
(25:26):
And I like it because when Imoved into my house 10 years ago
, we just randomly decided toget together and my youngest
nephew was like three, I thinkat the time, and then my middle
nephew was a baby and then myniece wasn't born yet and he
just was like let's do a paradearound your house.
And we're like, okay, and thenwe just like paraded around my
(25:50):
house literally, and my mom hadseen this like thing about
making a tea rocket, which islike taking a tea bag and
setting it on fire and then itgoes in the air and just like
random things that we just likedid on this day and then next
year we're like we need to gettogether again and we did, and
we've done that for 10 years nowand it's like it just became
like.
I really like it because it'sall these like kind of random
(26:12):
traditions that we like didn'tknow we were doing, and then it
just became a thing, and thenevery year we make a video of it
, and then every year we watchall the previous videos and then
it's just like become like sucha thing, so and it's not like a
gift giving, holiday andthere's no pressure, and I just
really like that.
Beth Demme (26:30):
That sounds really nice, actually, cause it is
literally just about spendingtime together, yeah.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (26:35):
And doing these like fun things that like
like that's not a tradition forpeople to parade around their
house, you know, but myneighbors like watch like
they'll like oh look, they'reparading.
And I have like I play thestars and stripes forever on my
like Bluetooth speaker.
And you know, I mean it's not aparade without music.
Come on, I know you have to.
And then we we'd march.
(26:56):
And I have like a big, a bigAmerican flag that I get out
once a year.
Then we wave it and we getsparklers.
So what a patriotic family youhave.
It's so random because likeit's so yeah, it's, and that's
what I think is like.
I think it's funny and that'swhy I like it too.
It's like no, no, it's not likesomething that we really are
(27:18):
and like it just is, like it'sjust fun that I'm just kind of
randomly happened.
So that's my favorite holiday.
But I do like these holidayskind of stacked up and I just
like kind of how it feelsdifferent than the rest of the
time of year.
It's just like and I've made itwhat I want it to be and not
what like society tells me itneeds to be.
So and also randomly about 10years ago, when I moved back, me
(27:40):
and Emily, who was on thepodcast, put a link to her
episode, we get together at apark called Dorothy B Ovan in
Tallahassee and they have abunch of lights that are super
pretty and we get a frosty fromand we eat a frosty and we sit
and talk in Dorothy B Oven andlook at all the lights.
(28:01):
So it randomly happened.
My mom had these like couponsfor for a Wendy's one year.
They gave out like you couldbuy like a pack of like 10 for a
dollar for Halloween to giveout at Halloween yeah, I think
they do that still, yeah.
And so she had all of these andshe was like, here, get a
frosty with Emily.
And I was like that's random,we're going to see light.
She's like, yeah, but it's hottoday and I was like okay, and
(28:22):
it was sometimes hot it is.
And so I was like okay.
So I was like Emily, here's afrosty for my mom.
And she's like okay, and we atethem.
And then we're like this is sosilly that it's winter and we're
eating frosties.
And then the next year we'relike we got to do it again.
Beth Demme (28:35):
We got to do it.
It's interesting to think abouthow traditions get made.
Yeah, you know that like it's,oh, we did it, it was fun, let's
do it again.
Oh, let's do it again.
You know, and they, they, whenthey kind of happen organically
like that, but then you reallyit goes from being just
something that happensorganically to we're going to
choose to do this.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (28:52):
And it seems like traditions are
usually associated with holidays.
Do you think that is like?
Can you have a traditionoutside of a holiday?
Beth Demme (28:59):
I mean what I think about the traditions in our
family.
They're about special days,maybe not always a holiday, but
because both of my kids areadopted, we celebrate the day
that we got to hold them for thefirst time, because that's when
we became a family, so like wehave, and we call it by their
name, so like we have.
Peter day that's the day weheld Peter for the first time.
Hannah day that's the day weheld Hannah for the first time,
(29:20):
and we always get together onthat day.
We usually have something smallfor them, just, you know, a
memento.
Sometimes it's, you know,meaningful, sometimes it's not,
but we, they get to pick upwhere we got to dinner or what
we eat, and then we watch thevideos of the days that we met
them Although I will say inrecent years they have wanted to
(29:46):
see other videos, which is fine.
They leave and then Steven and Iwatch the videos of the days,
we, of the times we held themfor the first time.
So it's still part of ourtradition, but it's so.
It's a special day, is what I'msaying.
It's not just a random like oh,it's the third Tuesday of May,
you know.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (30:03):
Oh, my gosh, I totally want to do
something random on the thirdTuesday now, third Tuesday
Actually.
Now, yeah, now I want to likemake traditions for like random
stuff, right, random traditions.
But I think traditions arethings that happen like once a
year.
That feels like like what atradition is.
It's not something that likehappens like usually Fridays is
like pizza night.
(30:23):
Yeah, Like, is that a traditionor is that just-.
Beth Demme (30:25):
I think it's a routine.
Yeah, I think that's a routinenot a tradition?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (30:29):
Yeah, I think it may be something that
is more like yearly on, like acertain day.
Beth Demme (30:33):
Right.
And also I mean there arethings that happen in my life
every month, like there's achurch council meeting actually
the second Tuesday of everymonth, because third Tuesday is
trustees.
So those are not traditions.
I have something that happensonce a month, really.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (30:50):
I don't really want to talk about it.
I mean, it's a very naturalthing that most women experience
.
Do you not want to I don't.
That's why I didn't say all,because obviously that would be
incorrect.
That was probably one of yourfavorite things about getting
cancer is get rid of that.
Beth Demme (31:07):
Listen, even before cancer I had that stuff removed.
Really, I had it removed beforeI had an endometrial ablation,
so they burned it out.
They burned out the lining sothat I wouldn't have periods
anymore.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (31:20):
Oh, is that like the tube's tide.
Beth Demme (31:22):
Nope, I still had my tubes, I still ovulated, I just
didn't slough the lining.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (31:26):
So you didn't have your periods Mm-mm,
so can anyone have that done?
Yeah, Interesting.
Beth Demme (31:32):
So why was the 30,?
What did he tell me?
I was the 32nd person to haveit done in Dalhazza.
I don't know why he told methat or why I remember it.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (31:39):
So it does affect your ability to have
children, obviously youcouldn't have a yeah, yeah, yeah
.
So how is it different thantubes tied?
Beth Demme (31:47):
Or is it Because you can have your tubes tied and
still have a period Cause yourtubes?
That's the, that's the when theegg drops, which is different
than the lining of your ears.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (31:55):
Why would you have one over the other?
Beth Demme (31:59):
I was having really heavy really painful periods.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (32:02):
So why don't more women?
Just if that don't want yourperiods, just do that.
Beth Demme (32:06):
That's a great question.
What is it called Endometrialablation Ablation?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (32:10):
ablate, it Is there what?
Beth Demme (32:12):
how old were you?
Let's see it was in 2008.
33?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (32:16):
Oh wow you were young, yeah.
Beth Demme (32:18):
I was 33.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (32:19):
Can you have both done that and tubes
tied?
Yeah, you could, and it wouldlike make sure you never have
kids Right For sure.
Beth Demme (32:26):
Right, yeah, yeah.
Well, you, if you have anablation and you're still at
risk of getting pregnant, thenyou would need to be on birth
control, because it would bereally dangerous.
Yeah yeah, so yeah, so you needto do something.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (32:38):
But didn't you have all your parts
taken out when you had yeah,when I had cancer.
Beth Demme (32:41):
I took it all Cancer .
Okay so you had, so had yougone through menopause.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (32:45):
No, no, no, so you don't go through
menopause but you had stoppedhaving a period as long as you
have your ovaries, you will notgo through menopause.
Beth Demme (32:50):
Well, I mean until it's time.
But you stopped your period,but I stopped my period.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (32:55):
There's so many things that like why
don't we know this?
Beth Demme (32:58):
Like I've never heard that.
I know Well, and you know Iwent to one doctor.
I went to one gynecologist intown and was like this is
impairing my ability to enjoylife.
Yeah, it is, my periods are sopainful and so heavy.
And she said there is nothingyou can do about it.
And so I went to anothergynecologist and he said I can
make that stop.
(33:18):
And I was like please.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (33:20):
Why would the other ones Please make that
stop.
Why would one know when theother not?
Beth Demme (33:23):
He did literally tell me that I was like the 32nd
or 33rd person to have it donein Tallahassee, so I guess it
was new and the other doctor waslike yeah, but now it's not new
.
Now, it's not new.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (33:33):
Now lots of people do it.
Beth Demme (33:34):
I have heard of some women not being of it not being
a successful procedure for thembecause there are some size
constraints.
I guess there's not a standarduterus size and so if your
uterus is too small they can'tget the equipment in to be able
to do a full ablation, or Iguess if it was too big they
couldn't ablate at all.
(33:55):
I don't know, but it worked forme.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (33:57):
Well, you know, what I really have
enjoyed about this conversationI'm for sure keeping it in is
that you obviously didn't wantto talk about periods when I
brought it up and then we hadsuch a conversation about
periods.
I really actually I'm glad wehad this conversation.
You know what?
I would like to have agynecologist or some kind of
like yeah, like a gynecologiston the podcast to talk about
(34:19):
these women issues, cause thefact that I've never heard of
this it would be nice to have,like when we had the lawyer, the
family law lawyer, talkingabout divorce and just like how
to empower women when they getmarried and like the knowledge
it'd be interesting to have likea gynecologist or some kind of
women's health specificconversation, cause I feel like
(34:40):
there's a lot of thatconversation that we're not even
aware of as women and we needto be Is that a conversation
we're still allowed to have inFlorida about women's health.
Is that a Drive up to Georgiafor that one but-.
Beth Demme (34:53):
We can only have it like what in the first six weeks
of the year, or something.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (34:57):
Whew, that's a whole other
conversation.
Beth Demme (34:59):
We'll add that one to the list too, so do I get
like a trophy or like a blueribbon or something?
Because I, because periods cameup and I didn't score them out
of it.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (35:08):
And you added to the conversation.
Beth, I'm very, very proud ofyou.
Yeah, that was pretty great.
You know it is something Ididn't think we'd get to in a
holiday conversation, but I'mreally excited we did.
And I already know I'm keepingit in because we've talked so
much about it that there's noway I can edit it out.
(35:29):
So back to our title why doholidays hit different?
I think we've answered it Forlots of really interesting
reasons, for lots of reasons,and I would say, if we haven't
answered it or if someonelistening has another opinion, I
would love to hear what that is.
And if you want to share anythoughts on this, you can call
(35:51):
us at 850-270-3308 and leave avoicemail.
You can also text that numberand we could read that.
So let us know if you have someinsight into, maybe, what we've
shared today.
A Thing to Beach episode.
We end with questions forreflection.
These are questions based ontoday's show that Beth will read
(36:12):
and leave a little pausebetween for you to answer to
yourself, or you can find a copyon our website.
Beth Demme (36:18):
Number one does this time of year hit differently
for you?
Why?
Number two do you find comfortin tradition?
Why or why not?
Number three do you have afavorite holiday?
If you do, what is it whatmakes it special?
And number four are you happywith how you celebrate the
(36:38):
holidays?
Is there something you wish youcould change?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (36:43):
This has been the Discovering Our Scars
podcast.
Thank you for joining us.
Welcome to the Discovering Our Scars podcast,
where we share personalexperiences.
We can learn from each other.
Our mission is to talk aboutthings you might relate to but
that you don't hear beingdiscussed in other places.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:13):
Our hope is that you're encouraged to
have honest conversations withpeople in your own life.
Beth Demme (00:16):
I'm Steph and I'm Beth.
On today's show we're going tohave an honest conversation
titled why Do Holidays HitDifferent?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:23):
Then we'll share a slice of life, and
the show will close withquestions for reflection.
We'll invite you to reflect onthe conversation in your own
life.
Beth Demme (00:29):
So here we are in the swing of things.
Thanksgiving has happened.
Yes, it's like we're barrelingtowards Christmas.
So exciting, such an excitingtime of the year.
Does it feel different for youthis time of year?
I think it hits different.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:45):
Yeah, I think so.
We should talk about that, yeah.
Beth Demme (00:48):
Why does this time of year hit different?
Because it really does.
I mean, it is a.
It's my favorite time of year.
Is it your?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (00:55):
Yeah, that's an interesting question,
Because you said that I wasthinking is it my favorite time
of year?
I don't think it's my favoritetime of year.
You know, every time we're in aseason, we start a season, I
think, oh man, this is great.
Like we started fall and I'mlike, oh, I like fall.
And then I was like, but thenwhen spring hits, I'm like I
(01:16):
like spring, it was summer.
Beth Demme (01:17):
I don't love it.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (01:19):
I don't love it because it's so hot, but
then I like winter, so I don'tthink this is my favorite time
of year.
But I do think this time ofyear is feels different, with
all of the holidays almoststacked up.
When you kind of think about it, there's like a ton of holidays
stacked up and then you justit's, you're almost like closing
out a year and you're slowingdown and it just is like natural
(01:41):
feeling with like cause it getsdarker sooner and it's colder
and so you're almost bundled upand kind of you know shutting
down for shutting down one yearand welcoming another year.
So there's just, yeah, I meanit's.
I wouldn't say it's my favoritetime of year, but I would say I
definitely like like this timeof year cause it does feel
different than the rest of theyear.
Beth Demme (02:01):
Yeah, I think it is my my favorite time of year, and
part of it, I think, is becauseit seems like there are things
that people generally lookforward to, so people feel kind
of I don't know more joyful,happier I mean not always right.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (02:16):
Like, yeah it's, it's interesting
because you do have these two,these two sides, like you know
you, you're either like love Ifeel like you either love this
time of year or this is a reallyhard time of year for you
because I think, the samereasons why it can be like a
joyous time, it can also theopposite of it can be like a sad
(02:36):
, depressing time of year forthe same reasons as Joyful for
you, like if you've had a lot of, if you used to spend it with
family and like had some goodmemories, and then, like some of
those have passed or somethingtraumatic happened in this time
of year, then it can be thecompletely opposite this could
be your least favorite time ofyear, yeah.
Beth Demme (02:54):
I mean I.
I hope you won't mind me sayingthis, but this is my husband's
least favorite time of year.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (02:58):
Oh, wow, we should have had him on.
Yeah, that would have beeninteresting to hear his, his
take on that.
Because, yeah, I definitelywouldn't say it's my favorite, I
wouldn't say it's my leastfavorite, but I think it's taken
me a while to hone in on thistime of year for me.
So I think I've gone throughstages of loving it, of not
(03:19):
loving it, because I thinkthere's so much tradition
wrapped up in holidays.
That usually is a good thing.
It's like, oh, traditions, welike traditions.
But sometimes I don't liketraditions for traditions sake,
like I don't like to dosomething just because that's
what we're supposed to do during.
You know, this time of yearthat that just makes me kind of
annoyed, it doesn't bring mecomfort.
Like I don't really likeThanksgiving foods and we would
(03:42):
like have Thanksgiving foodsevery year.
My mom doesn't like them either.
And we finally were one yearlike why are we doing this?
Like none of us like this food,why are we eating this food?
And then we finally were like,okay, let's make some changes.
And now I like Thanksgivingmore.
You know, when you kind of takecontrol and decide for
yourselves and not just do itbecause you know that's what
we're supposed to do.
But how about you Do?
You do things, cause that'swhat we're supposed to do, and
(04:04):
you enjoy that I mean, I likeconformity.
Beth Demme (04:08):
And so I know I do, and I think part of that comes
from how I grew up, where Ireally felt like we were always
on the outside and like we werenever really doing.
That's not.
It's not fair to say we werenever doing the things other
families were doing.
I didn't feel like we were.
I knew my family was different.
I mean, I knew that we weren'tas I don't know the right words.
(04:30):
but like that, we we hadtroubles that other families
didn't have.
As an adult, now, looking backon it, I'm like a lot of
families have those troubles,but as a kid it really felt, you
know, isolating to me, and so Iliked that connection to the
rest of the world.
Oh, thanksgiving is a time ofyear when we're doing what other
families are doing.
This is good, right, we'regoing to eat turkey.
(04:53):
I don't really like turkey, butwe're going to eat turkey
because that's what otherfamilies are doing.
So that brought me a sense ofcomfort.
So there are a lot oftraditions that I embrace for
the sake of tradition.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (05:06):
Do you have a favorite tradition that
is like a society's traditionthat you really like, or do you
even really like the societytraditions Like?
You might not like them, butyou just do them because, like
you said, you want to be likeeveryone else.
Beth Demme (05:18):
Yeah, no, I mean, there is comfort in it for me.
So I do like it.
Like we always do have turkeyon Thanksgiving and it's not my
favorite food, but I can eat itonce a year, thank goodness.
The tradition is not to havefish, because I don't like to
eat fish at all, so thankgoodness, right.
But we also have to have hambecause not everybody likes
(05:40):
turkey.
So we'll have ham becauseHannah, my daughter, she doesn't
like to eat turkey.
Okay, that's reasonable.
We'll have ham.
You can have ham, I like hamtoo.
Yeah, so she has ham atThanksgiving.
And but then there are all thesides, like I love stuffing, I
love macaroni and cheese, I lovepumpkin pie.
All that stuff is good to me.
And the tradition of gathering,you know, basically in the
(06:04):
largest family group we canassemble, I love that part of
the tradition too.
So there are a lot oftraditions around Thanksgiving
that I really love.
And then at Christmas it's kindof the same thing.
You know that the to know thatwe are.
Well, one of my favoriteChristmas traditions is we open
one present on Christmas Eve.
Do you do that?
I can't remember.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (06:23):
Yes, I believe in that tradition, but
my sister in law doesn't, and soit's been a.
We haven't done it for a whilebecause, yeah, she, because.
Beth Demme (06:35):
I do believe in that .
The nibblings mom, yes.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (06:36):
And the nibblings.
You know, that's what the hall,that's what like Christmas
specific more is about, is aboutthe nibblings now, and like I
don't really care about giftgiving, but like, if there was,
yeah, I do kind of like thatidea of like one before.
Yeah, yeah, Actually, my sisterin law and my brother, both of
them, I think, agree with thatconcept, so it's like I'll
respect it.
I don't like about respect,although I give the nibblings,
(07:00):
my gift Thanksgiving, because mygift is an advent calendar
every year, so you get that waybefore.
Beth Demme (07:06):
Christmas, but you do give them something at
Christmas also, no their gift isthe advent calendar.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (07:11):
Okay, and I remind them every Christmas
member, it's become a tradition.
But every year, like I alreadybought it, I get to Lego advent
calendar.
Yeah, I love those and I alwaysask them way before which one
they want, because actuallyCostco usually has a couple of
them on sale or, you know, atCostco prices, and so I already
got all of them and I haven'twrapped them yet, but I have
(07:31):
them all and so I'll give themto them around Thanksgiving.
But I asked them every year ifthey want one, like I don't just
assume I do like the traditionof it, that that's what I always
give them and I'll say, easy, Ilike that.
But I do always ask, like, doyou want another advent calendar
?
And they like it Because Ithink it's also fun, because
Christmas, like you, especiallylike for kids, it's like you get
all these gifts on one day andit's like it almost becomes
(07:54):
white noise at some pointbecause it's just a bunch of
stuff.
And so I like the little giftevery day, like the little fun
surprise every day, like that'swhat I like.
So that's also why I wanted todo that instead of a gift on
Christmas to get lost.
Beth Demme (08:06):
Yeah, I will say we do advent calendars too and I
always have fun picking them outand I get.
We're at a point no w where Iget different ones, you know,
for different people in thefamily, but I kind of know what
I'm going to get.
Like, I got my mom a coffee onebecause she drinks a cup of
coffee every day.
Anyway, I buy Hannah a makeupone, and have you seen?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (08:27):
the Trader Joe's ones.
I haven't.
Those are really nice.
They have like a beauty.
It's not makeup, but it's likeskincare.
Yeah, yeah, and they're reallygood.
Beth Demme (08:34):
Yeah, and then I'll get.
Last year I got Peter one thathad a different cat toy every
day because he had, you know,gotten a cat not long before
that.
This year I'll probably get himsomething more food related,
something that's more for him.
Oh, costco has a dog one.
Oh, that should get that one,yeah, get that for Scooby, for
Hannah's dog and I like for acouple of years.
(08:56):
I love caramels and for acouple of years there was one
available that was differentflavored caramels, which some of
them were truly disappointing,like truly.
But the structure of the adventcalendar itself was a problem,
and so then it was like youcouldn't get one a day because
you had to disassemble the wholething, so that kind of lost its
fun and I don't even think theysaw that one anymore, couldn't
(09:16):
find it.
So yeah, so I love thattradition actually of advent
calendars.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (09:21):
You got me an advent calendar last year
with teas and actually I made anote every day of the teas, like
if I liked it, if it'ssomething that I would want, and
there was one that I really,really liked and I actually
bought it.
I bought a canister of it.
I have it and I have it likeevery other day.
Beth Demme (09:35):
Yeah, hopefully, there was like more than one out
of 25 that you liked there was.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (09:40):
Yes, there was a lot of them that I
liked, but that one like reallylike I kept like thinking about
that, like I didn't want to buylike a whole bunch of teas, and
so I was like I was like, okay,what's my very favorite in that?
Yeah, I can't remember what itwas called, but it's just like a
nice light flavor.
Beth Demme (09:55):
It's like a white tea.
I like that yeah.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (09:56):
I'm glad you liked that.
Yeah, I think advent calendarsis super fun.
I do think they probably needto change their name because
it's odd to me.
Like I understand, advent islike celebrating Jesus, it's
like it's like we're awaiting,yeah, but like they've just
become a toy for us and likemaybe a countdown calendar.
But it's weird that like itstill has like a Christian name,
(10:19):
but like nothing is Christianabout it, it's just a little toy
.
Nothing is Christian, or a toy,or a treat or something like
that.
That's nothing Christian aboutthat.
It's just odd that, like somany things have become
commercialized and this iscommercialized, but the name is
still very Christian.
Beth Demme (10:34):
Right, it's true actually that's weird, yeah,
because it's like a Christianseason, that's the first season
of the Christian year, like theyear starts over on the first
Sunday of Advent, and so and sojust the fact that that name
still stuck.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (10:46):
Like the Lego ones are called Lego advent
calendar.
Like why not a countdowncalendar?
Beth Demme (10:50):
Yeah, not Christmas countdown yeah.
I know, as if Christmas is liketoo overtly Christian, so we'll
just call it an advent calendar.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (10:57):
Yeah, that's a good point.
Yeah, it's an odd one, but asyou're talking, you're talking a
lot about, like holidays andfamily associated with that.
So to you, or do does holidayand family always go together?
Yes, they do.
Beth Demme (11:10):
It's a time when we're able to Like collectively,
like we stop and weintentionally spend more time
with family, which I don't Idon't really know, in my family
at least.
We're not good about doing thatin other times of the year,
like we don't.
I know some families you knowthey get together every summer.
My family just never did that.
So Christmas was a time whereit was like no, everybody's
(11:33):
gonna take off work and we'regonna spend time together.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (11:35):
When you say family, are you talking
about like your husband and kids, or are you talking about like
your parents, siblings?
Beth Demme (11:42):
I mean more extended family.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (11:44):
So you get together with extended
family.
Beth Demme (11:46):
Only for Thanksgiving.
So okay, so Christmas is myhusband, my kids and the kids'
grandparents and mysister-in-law.
Last year she didn't spendChristmas with us and honestly
it made us all sad.
So this year she's a travelnurse, so she has to be real
intentional about how sheschedules her contracts.
But this year she scheduled itso she can be with us at
(12:07):
Christmas, so that'll be good.
Does she have a contract here?
No, she'll take yeah, it'll beone of her off times and then.
But Thanksgiving usually well,sometimes it's both sides of our
family and sometimes it's justmy side of the family that comes
and we set up a big table.
You know, 15 or 20 people, wow.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:27):
And your house yeah.
Beth Demme (12:29):
Where do you set the table up?
We take the dining room tableand extend it to the front door.
Oh, so you turn it that way?
Okay yeah, cause it's alreadyturned.
When you walk in the front doorand you look straight ahead,
the dining room table is likestraight ahead of you.
Do you use a dining room on aregular basis?
No, we use it everyThanksgiving and Christmas.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (12:46):
Okay, yeah that's what I was wondering
.
Yeah, that sounds right.
Yeah, that's about right, butit's at least it's open.
It's not like a closed off roomthat you never go in, so it's
not like it just keeps the houseopen.
Beth Demme (12:57):
And actually being able to extend the table in that
way was part of how we designedthe dining room.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (13:02):
Yeah, that's right.
Beth Demme (13:03):
So that it could extend into the four year.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (13:05):
It's a lot of forward thinking.
Beth Demme (13:06):
that's good, yeah, yeah it was intentional on our
part, because we really did wantto spend it with.
We knew we wanted to spend theholidays with as much family as
we could gather together.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (13:13):
So that's wow.
That's like really forethoughtand also shows how important the
holidays is to you, is likewhen you literally design your
house you thought, okay, we needa big table for Thanksgiving,
so how can we design this roomto fit that?
So that is real dedication toholidays.
So I could see family holidaysfor sure.
Beth Demme (13:33):
Yeah, does it work that way for you?
Do you think holiday and familygo together?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (13:38):
It has in the past, like growing up like
we would get together withfamily.
Like I said, I don't reallylike things where it feels like
we have to do this because thisis what you have to do.
So I don't really like to gettogether with extended family
during this time of year.
I like to see like my niblingsand brother and sister-in-law
(14:00):
and a lot of times we do gettogether for Thanksgiving or
Christmas.
They don't live until it hasanymore, so it becomes a little
bit more complicated andsometimes they're with my
sister-in-law side of the family.
So I personally like to spendtime with family random times of
the year.
Like I prefer just gettingtogether like randomly and not
(14:21):
having this like forcedsociety's pressure of like this
is when we get together, whichis like completely opposite than
you Like you love being forcedsocietally to get together, but
I just never have enjoyed thesocial norms of like this is
like why we do stuff.
So I, but I have I do like thistime of year.
(14:42):
For me part of it is like theweather, like I feel like the
weather kind of is different.
Like it's cozy weather.
It's cozy Like, and I like coldweather.
It's usually hot here, justalways hot, even like we've been
having some like fall weather,which is really nice, but it's
gonna get back to hot days Likeit does.
So I like when we're in likewinter time and it's just pretty
(15:06):
consistently cold.
It's not always, but I reallylike that.
Feel so for me, like that's whyit hits.
Different too.
It's just like the weathermakes it is different here than
it typically is, cause, as muchas everyone loves sunshine and
everything, I'm not that big afan of it.
I know I live in Florida.
It's wasted on me.
Beth Demme (15:25):
I knew a woman once who told me that they they had
moved to Tallahassee because herhusband had accepted a new job
here.
But they came and visitedbefore he accepted the job and
she was like but I feel like thecompany intentionally brought
us during the second week ofNovember, when the weather would
be perfect and crisp and lovely, because now it's July and it's
(15:51):
not like that that's smart.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (15:54):
That's a smart move.
Yeah, great time to bring them.
Beth Demme (15:57):
There might have been some intentional thought
gone into that, like when youshould come visit, because
November in Tallahassee isamazing, yeah, yeah, I
definitely think the weatherplays a factor in the overall
like joy of the season too, youknow, cause?
It's not, it's not, oh, it's sohot, it's, you know,
oppressively hot, but also it'snot so cold that it's like, oh,
(16:19):
we can't.
You know, oh, you know, I'mfreezing, I gotta.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (16:22):
Yeah, I mean, it's still Florida cold.
It's still Florida cold, yeah.
Beth Demme (16:25):
Don't get.
Don't get crazy.
Listen, one of my favorite, oneof my favorite colleagues, one
of my favorite people in town.
She's talking about me people.
It's gonna be me no-transcriptso close so close, is moving
because they wanted to livesomewhere cold.
So they are moving to Wisconsin, which is not.
(16:47):
Are they a Methodist pastor?
Yeah, it's not the easiestthing to do, Like she had to
tell the bishop.
You know, for the conference inWisconsin.
Hey, I'd really like to comeserve a church there, if you
have one.
Where are they from?
They're both native Floridians.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (17:03):
Oh weird.
So they just had always that'sa strange one.
Beth Demme (17:07):
They have no family.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (17:08):
And they just want to be somewhere cold.
Beth Demme (17:09):
They just want to live somewhere that it's not so
hot.
I mean I can get behind that.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (17:12):
I like cold so and I would be okay with
that, like living somewhere.
Beth Demme (17:16):
I mean, people always say it gets old fast, but
yeah, actually I said they'reboth native Floridians and
that's not quite right, becauseI think her husband grew up
somewhere cold because he knowshow to play ice hockey, so he
must have grown up somewherecold.
Yeah, but she's definitely anative Floridian, like you know,
the hot part of Florida, likeTampa, yeah, wow.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (17:33):
Well, as a pastor, I feel like especially
the Christmas holiday is likebig for you.
Is that something?
Do you really like the?
I mean that seems like a sillyquestion, but do you really like
the Christian?
Beth Demme (17:47):
holiday.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (17:49):
I guess all that goes into it, Cause I
would assume, as a pastor,there's a lot of work things for
you Like.
Is that stressful, Is that goodfor you Like?
And I also know there's likethere's a couple services that
you do around this time of year.
Beth Demme (18:01):
Yeah, I do extra services.
I also do an extra Bible study,so December is very busy.
Yeah, because I teach two extraclasses every week, so Sunday
and Wednesday, that adds a lotto my schedule.
And then we have all of ouradvent traditions in the church
and then we have I always liketo have a blue Christmas service
(18:23):
, which is, you know, toacknowledge that sometimes we
feel blue at the holidays andthat's okay.
That doesn't dishonor God, itdoesn't dishonor Christmas.
So I always like to have thatservice.
And then we'll have a ChristmasEve service.
And last year I'm rolling myeyes, I know you can't hear-
that, but I'm rolling my eyes,because last year Christmas was
(18:44):
on a Sunday and so they're allof these.
I'm just going to say it selfrighteous people, self righteous
pastors who are like, of coursewe're going to have church on
Christmas and I'm like you knowwhat we're going to do it like.
We do it every year, which iswe have a Christmas Eve service,
because let's go back toGenesis the day starts with the
(19:07):
evening before, so a ChristmasEve service is a Christmas
service.
You know, in the way Genesisworks, the day goes from evening
to evening.
So yeah, but there were so manypeople last year who were like
you're a terrible pastor if youdon't have a Christmas day
service, and I'm like I don'tever have a Christmas day
(19:27):
service.
Just because Christmas is on aSunday, it doesn't change that
for me.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (19:30):
Well.
So that's interesting becausethat means this year Christmas
is on a Monday.
So will you have services inthe morning and at night, or
just at night?
Well, on.
Beth Demme (19:39):
Sunday we're only going to have a nighttime
service On Sunday.
On Sunday we're only going tohave a Christmas Eve service,
which is a little.
It's a little tricky, just atmy particular church, because we
have opened up our facilitiesto other congregations to be
able to meet there because theydidn't have space, and so we
normally meet in the morning andthen we have a church that
meets in the afternoon or acongregation that meets in the
(20:00):
afternoon and a congregationthat meets at night, and so I've
had to tell the one that meetsat night hey, sorry, we're going
to be using the building then.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (20:08):
Would you like to have a morning service?
Is it a Christian?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so then wouldthey also be celebrating
Christmas?
Beth Demme (20:14):
Eve they may have.
They may actually do aChristmas day service instead of
they're trying to decide.
But yeah, but I just ChristmasEve service is a huge part of my
Christmas tradition, so much.
So you know, steven and I, ourwedding anniversary is December
23rd.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (20:31):
Yeah, wow , we got married on the December
23rd.
Beth Demme (20:33):
On our honeymoon.
We went to church on ChristmasEve and I wasn't a pastor then.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (20:39):
It was just that Did he not like this
time of year back then as well,cause, you said, this isn't his
favorite time of year now.
Beth Demme (20:47):
Yeah, that is such a great question.
We don't know.
We've talked about it a lot Okayokay, you know, we got married
right after we had bothgraduated from college and we
were pretty young, and so wedon't know if he wasn't aware
that he did not like the monthof December.
But throughout our so we'vebeen married, so throughout our
(21:10):
28 years of marriage, it hasdefinitely become very apparent
he does not like the month ofDecember, and so I said that to
him a few years ago.
I'm like I'm so sorry that Iwanted to get married in
December because it's myfavorite time of the year and
that it's a time of year youdon't like.
The reason that he doesn't likeDecember, which we finally
unpacked, and we, I mean it wasa big enough issue that we had
(21:30):
to unpack it.
You know what I'm saying, butthis is really tragic.
But when he was in middleschool, his best friend died by
suicide and it was in earlyDecember and he tucked that away
, right.
But you know, your bodyremembers that kind of trauma
and grief, and so December wouldjust become this, like you know
(21:52):
, he just was a mess.
I didn't know why.
And then, like I said, we hadto unpack it.
We literally had to research itto find out when that friend had
died, because he said, I wonder, because my brother died in
August, and so I know August isgenerally a month where I'm
things, I'm out of sorts, andthen I'm like, oh wait, it's
(22:13):
August, that's why I'm out ofsorts, anyway.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:15):
So yeah, has getting married, so it
hasn't really changed hisperspective of December, though,
having it as like a joyous timeas well being married.
Beth Demme (22:25):
Yeah, I think that once he was able to name it, you
know how sometimes you namesomething and it goes from being
really huge to being reallytiny.
I think that it has been thatfor him, because the last I
don't know three or four yearshas been better for sure.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:39):
So I think you say this time of year,
but would you say, is Christmasyour favorite holiday?
Beth Demme (22:45):
Yeah, it's really Christmas and it's the lead up
to Christmas that I really love.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:49):
It's just like the whole everything goes
into it.
Beth Demme (22:51):
Which means sometimes after Christmas is a
let down Like New Year's.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (22:55):
Yeah, it's like a let down.
Yeah, do you do something forNew Year's New.
Beth Demme (22:58):
Year's feels like a lot of social pressure.
Maybe with that I get a littleglimpse of what you feel when
you're like I'm not really intothe social norms, cause I think
I feel that way about New Year's, like why do I have to stay up?
Late.
Yeah, okay, all right, I'llstay up.
Oh, I'm not gonna go out andparty and have a great.
Oh, I'm such a dud you know, Idon't want to.
(23:22):
I don't want to.
Don't want to put on a sparklydress and go hang out with
people who are being fake.
I don't wanna do that.
So have you ever?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (23:30):
done it.
Oh, I've never done it.
I've never had a desire to doany of it.
Beth Demme (23:35):
Yeah, but so the one thing we do on New Year's I
will say one of our traditions,and we pick this up somewhere
along the way we picked up theidea of you open the door at
midnight and you let the oldyear out and you let the new
year in.
I think that we picked that upin Russia.
Oh, okay, because we were therefor New Year's, which New
(23:58):
Year's is their big holiday.
It's much bigger than Christmas.
Also, they celebrate OrthodoxChristmas, which is January 6th,
not December 25th, so NewYear's comes first and, yeah, I
think that we picked that upthat year, that 2002 to 2003,.
That New Year that we werethere, the bugs come in.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:14):
I have a feeling bugs come in as well.
Beth Demme (24:16):
No, no, we don't leave the door open that long,
Okay it's just like an out.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:20):
Yeah, okay.
Beth Demme (24:21):
The years have to move fast.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:22):
Yeah, okay, come on, they're busy,
they're on a schedule, but.
Beth Demme (24:25):
I'm ching yeah, wow, my own sound effects.
Did you not know that I camewith my own sound effects?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:34):
You're just one full package there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, good job,beth.
Well, all applauding you.
Beth Demme (24:45):
Steph's got sound effects too.
I'm gonna say it Her's her bear.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (24:51):
I've been waiting for that one.
I don't know why I have that onhere, but I was waiting and
found it found a use for it Okay.
Beth Demme (24:57):
so we're talking about Thanksgiving and Christmas
and New Year's, and I'm talkinga lot.
What is your favorite holiday?
None of those.
None of those.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (25:05):
No, okay, my favorite holiday is July 4th
.
Yes, the 4th of July Is it?
Oh, I got it right.
We might have talked about itbefore.
Yeah, my favorite holiday isthe 4th of July because it's
like one of those randomholidays that is not like a big
deal, usually like no one reallymakes it a big deal, and it's
kind of like, yeah, whatever,and people just usually just get
together and barbecue, whatever, which is fun.
(25:26):
And I like it because when Imoved into my house 10 years ago
, we just randomly decided toget together and my youngest
nephew was like three, I thinkat the time, and then my middle
nephew was a baby and then myniece wasn't born yet and he
just was like let's do a paradearound your house.
And we're like, okay, and thenwe just like paraded around my
(25:50):
house literally, and my mom hadseen this like thing about
making a tea rocket, which islike taking a tea bag and
setting it on fire and then itgoes in the air and just like
random things that we just likedid on this day and then next
year we're like we need to gettogether again and we did, and
we've done that for 10 years nowand it's like it just became
like.
I really like it because it'sall these like kind of random
(26:12):
traditions that we like didn'tknow we were doing, and then it
just became a thing, and thenevery year we make a video of it
, and then every year we watchall the previous videos and then
it's just like become like sucha thing, so and it's not like a
gift giving, holiday andthere's no pressure, and I just
really like that.
Beth Demme (26:30):
That sounds really nice, actually, cause it is
literally just about spendingtime together, yeah.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (26:35):
And doing these like fun things that like
like that's not a tradition forpeople to parade around their
house, you know, but myneighbors like watch like
they'll like oh look, they'reparading.
And I have like I play thestars and stripes forever on my
like Bluetooth speaker.
And you know, I mean it's not aparade without music.
Come on, I know you have to.
And then we we'd march.
(26:56):
And I have like a big, a bigAmerican flag that I get out
once a year.
Then we wave it and we getsparklers.
So what a patriotic family youhave.
It's so random because likeit's so yeah, it's, and that's
what I think is like.
I think it's funny and that'swhy I like it too.
It's like no, no, it's not likesomething that we really are
(27:18):
and like it just is, like it'sjust fun that I'm just kind of
randomly happened.
So that's my favorite holiday.
But I do like these holidayskind of stacked up and I just
like kind of how it feelsdifferent than the rest of the
time of year.
It's just like and I've made itwhat I want it to be and not
what like society tells me itneeds to be.
So and also randomly about 10years ago, when I moved back, me
(27:40):
and Emily, who was on thepodcast, put a link to her
episode, we get together at apark called Dorothy B Ovan in
Tallahassee and they have abunch of lights that are super
pretty and we get a frosty fromand we eat a frosty and we sit
and talk in Dorothy B Oven andlook at all the lights.
(28:01):
So it randomly happened.
My mom had these like couponsfor for a Wendy's one year.
They gave out like you couldbuy like a pack of like 10 for a
dollar for Halloween to giveout at Halloween yeah, I think
they do that still, yeah.
And so she had all of these andshe was like, here, get a
frosty with Emily.
And I was like that's random,we're going to see light.
She's like, yeah, but it's hottoday and I was like okay, and
(28:22):
it was sometimes hot it is.
And so I was like okay.
So I was like Emily, here's afrosty for my mom.
And she's like okay, and we atethem.
And then we're like this is sosilly that it's winter and we're
eating frosties.
And then the next year we'relike we got to do it again.
Beth Demme (28:35):
We got to do it.
It's interesting to think abouthow traditions get made.
Yeah, you know that like it's,oh, we did it, it was fun, let's
do it again.
Oh, let's do it again.
You know, and they, they, whenthey kind of happen organically
like that, but then you reallyit goes from being just
something that happensorganically to we're going to
choose to do this.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (28:52):
And it seems like traditions are
usually associated with holidays.
Do you think that is like?
Can you have a traditionoutside of a holiday?
Beth Demme (28:59):
I mean what I think about the traditions in our
family.
They're about special days,maybe not always a holiday, but
because both of my kids areadopted, we celebrate the day
that we got to hold them for thefirst time, because that's when
we became a family, so like wehave, and we call it by their
name, so like we have.
Peter day that's the day weheld Peter for the first time.
Hannah day that's the day weheld Hannah for the first time,
(29:20):
and we always get together onthat day.
We usually have something smallfor them, just, you know, a
memento.
Sometimes it's, you know,meaningful, sometimes it's not,
but we, they get to pick upwhere we got to dinner or what
we eat, and then we watch thevideos of the days that we met
them Although I will say inrecent years they have wanted to
(29:46):
see other videos, which is fine.
They leave and then Steven and Iwatch the videos of the days,
we, of the times we held themfor the first time.
So it's still part of ourtradition, but it's so.
It's a special day, is what I'msaying.
It's not just a random like oh,it's the third Tuesday of May,
you know.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (30:03):
Oh, my gosh, I totally want to do
something random on the thirdTuesday now, third Tuesday
Actually.
Now, yeah, now I want to likemake traditions for like random
stuff, right, random traditions.
But I think traditions arethings that happen like once a
year.
That feels like like what atradition is.
It's not something that likehappens like usually Fridays is
like pizza night.
(30:23):
Yeah, Like, is that a traditionor is that just-.
Beth Demme (30:25):
I think it's a routine.
Yeah, I think that's a routinenot a tradition?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (30:29):
Yeah, I think it may be something that
is more like yearly on, like acertain day.
Beth Demme (30:33):
Right.
And also I mean there arethings that happen in my life
every month, like there's achurch council meeting actually
the second Tuesday of everymonth, because third Tuesday is
trustees.
So those are not traditions.
I have something that happensonce a month, really.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (30:50):
I don't really want to talk about it.
I mean, it's a very naturalthing that most women experience
.
Do you not want to I don't.
That's why I didn't say all,because obviously that would be
incorrect.
That was probably one of yourfavorite things about getting
cancer is get rid of that.
Beth Demme (31:07):
Listen, even before cancer I had that stuff removed.
Really, I had it removed beforeI had an endometrial ablation,
so they burned it out.
They burned out the lining sothat I wouldn't have periods
anymore.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (31:20):
Oh, is that like the tube's tide.
Beth Demme (31:22):
Nope, I still had my tubes, I still ovulated, I just
didn't slough the lining.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (31:26):
So you didn't have your periods Mm-mm,
so can anyone have that done?
Yeah, Interesting.
Beth Demme (31:32):
So why was the 30,?
What did he tell me?
I was the 32nd person to haveit done in Dalhazza.
I don't know why he told methat or why I remember it.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (31:39):
So it does affect your ability to have
children, obviously youcouldn't have a yeah, yeah, yeah
.
So how is it different thantubes tied?
Beth Demme (31:47):
Or is it Because you can have your tubes tied and
still have a period Cause yourtubes?
That's the, that's the when theegg drops, which is different
than the lining of your ears.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (31:55):
Why would you have one over the other?
Beth Demme (31:59):
I was having really heavy really painful periods.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (32:02):
So why don't more women?
Just if that don't want yourperiods, just do that.
Beth Demme (32:06):
That's a great question.
What is it called Endometrialablation Ablation?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (32:10):
ablate, it Is there what?
Beth Demme (32:12):
how old were you?
Let's see it was in 2008.
33?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (32:16):
Oh wow you were young, yeah.
Beth Demme (32:18):
I was 33.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (32:19):
Can you have both done that and tubes
tied?
Yeah, you could, and it wouldlike make sure you never have
kids Right For sure.
Beth Demme (32:26):
Right, yeah, yeah.
Well, you, if you have anablation and you're still at
risk of getting pregnant, thenyou would need to be on birth
control, because it would bereally dangerous.
Yeah yeah, so yeah, so you needto do something.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (32:38):
But didn't you have all your parts
taken out when you had yeah,when I had cancer.
Beth Demme (32:41):
I took it all Cancer .
Okay so you had, so had yougone through menopause.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (32:45):
No, no, no, so you don't go through
menopause but you had stoppedhaving a period as long as you
have your ovaries, you will notgo through menopause.
Beth Demme (32:50):
Well, I mean until it's time.
But you stopped your period,but I stopped my period.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (32:55):
There's so many things that like why
don't we know this?
Beth Demme (32:58):
Like I've never heard that.
I know Well, and you know Iwent to one doctor.
I went to one gynecologist intown and was like this is
impairing my ability to enjoylife.
Yeah, it is, my periods are sopainful and so heavy.
And she said there is nothingyou can do about it.
And so I went to anothergynecologist and he said I can
make that stop.
(33:18):
And I was like please.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (33:20):
Why would the other ones Please make that
stop.
Why would one know when theother not?
Beth Demme (33:23):
He did literally tell me that I was like the 32nd
or 33rd person to have it donein Tallahassee, so I guess it
was new and the other doctor waslike yeah, but now it's not new
.
Now, it's not new.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (33:33):
Now lots of people do it.
Beth Demme (33:34):
I have heard of some women not being of it not being
a successful procedure for thembecause there are some size
constraints.
I guess there's not a standarduterus size and so if your
uterus is too small they can'tget the equipment in to be able
to do a full ablation, or Iguess if it was too big they
couldn't ablate at all.
(33:55):
I don't know, but it worked forme.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (33:57):
Well, you know, what I really have
enjoyed about this conversationI'm for sure keeping it in is
that you obviously didn't wantto talk about periods when I
brought it up and then we hadsuch a conversation about
periods.
I really actually I'm glad wehad this conversation.
You know what?
I would like to have agynecologist or some kind of
like yeah, like a gynecologiston the podcast to talk about
(34:19):
these women issues, cause thefact that I've never heard of
this it would be nice to have,like when we had the lawyer, the
family law lawyer, talkingabout divorce and just like how
to empower women when they getmarried and like the knowledge
it'd be interesting to have likea gynecologist or some kind of
women's health specificconversation, cause I feel like
(34:40):
there's a lot of thatconversation that we're not even
aware of as women and we needto be Is that a conversation
we're still allowed to have inFlorida about women's health.
Is that a Drive up to Georgiafor that one but-.
Beth Demme (34:53):
We can only have it like what in the first six weeks
of the year, or something.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (34:57):
Whew, that's a whole other
conversation.
Beth Demme (34:59):
We'll add that one to the list too, so do I get
like a trophy or like a blueribbon or something?
Because I, because periods cameup and I didn't score them out
of it.
Stephanie Kostopoulos (35:08):
And you added to the conversation.
Beth, I'm very, very proud ofyou.
Yeah, that was pretty great.
You know it is something Ididn't think we'd get to in a
holiday conversation, but I'mreally excited we did.
And I already know I'm keepingit in because we've talked so
much about it that there's noway I can edit it out.
(35:29):
So back to our title why doholidays hit different?
I think we've answered it Forlots of really interesting
reasons, for lots of reasons,and I would say, if we haven't
answered it or if someonelistening has another opinion, I
would love to hear what that is.
And if you want to share anythoughts on this, you can call
(35:51):
us at 850-270-3308 and leave avoicemail.
You can also text that numberand we could read that.
So let us know if you have someinsight into, maybe, what we've
shared today.
A Thing to Beach episode.
We end with questions forreflection.
These are questions based ontoday's show that Beth will read
(36:12):
and leave a little pausebetween for you to answer to
yourself, or you can find a copyon our website.
Beth Demme (36:18):
Number one does this time of year hit differently
for you?
Why?
Number two do you find comfortin tradition?
Why or why not?
Number three do you have afavorite holiday?
If you do, what is it whatmakes it special?
And number four are you happywith how you celebrate the
(36:38):
holidays?
Is there something you wish youcould change?
Stephanie Kostopoulos (36:43):
This has been the Discovering Our Scars
podcast.
Thank you for joining us.
Popular Podcasts
United States of Kennedy
United States of Kennedy is a podcast about our cultural fascination with the Kennedy dynasty. Every week, hosts Lyra Smith and George Civeris go into one aspect of the Kennedy story.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.