Mini Episode: So Much For The Honeymoon Phase

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Hey! Let me know what you think of this mini episode. To be honest, I needed a small breather while I processed telling my story to a room full of people this past week. What a weird layered experience. Seeing how people react when you say the things out loud that you've lived through. Wow... 

I hope you like this quick story I found on the #letsnotmeet subreddit. 

https://www.reddit.com/r/LetsNotMeet/s/Pc4gShSnDG

In this episode:

We explore the journey of a domestic violence survivor who escaped an abusive marriage that began just one week after high school graduation. Her candid story reveals how quickly abuse can escalate and the courage it takes to plan a safe escape.

• Red flags appeared immediately, including abandonment on their wedding day
• Isolation tactics intensified after moving to Texas with her military husband
• Physical violence escalated from throwing objects to life-threatening assault
• Family witnessed abuse during a terrifying phone call
• Executed a 2 AM escape plan, driving nine hours to safety
• Healing from trauma is possible but scars remain

If you related to this story or know someone who might need support, please share this episode. Healing happens in community, and your support helps us reach more victims and survivors who need to hear these stories and know they are not alone.

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National Domestic Violence Hotline: [phone] OR text begin to 88788

Come join our community of survivors who are looking to meet someone just like you! See the behind the scenes work that goes into the sisterhood non-profit business, discuss DTS episodes, and of course find your survivor sister.

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Ready to share your story? Send me an email with the main talking points of your experience and I'll reach out to book an interview.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:14):
Hey, it's Alyssa and welcome back to Just Missed True
Stories.
But before we dive in, I justwant to give you a little heads
up.
This episode today is going tobe a mini episode and I want to
explain to you why this is inexistence now.
So, in between the release ofthese full survivor interviews

(00:36):
that we're doing here on thepodcast, I wanted to create
something that lets me give thenext survivor the time and care
they need to prepare to releasetheir story and put it out in
the world.
Because, as I'm doing this,it's a learning process for me
and I'm realizing and doing myown and through the other

(00:58):
survivors that sharing yourtruth, especially when it's
rooted in our own trauma, it'snot just about telling our story
.
It's about going back andfeeling safe enough to release
it all.
And having the support toprocess all of the emotions that
resurface afterward is veryimportant, and it takes time, it

(01:22):
requires self-care andsometimes even a little coaching
and reassurance on my partthrough the entire thing.
These stories are so deeplypersonal and incredibly brave,
and the least that I can do isoffer the brave survivors the
grace that they deserve to feelprepared before being heard by

(01:45):
the world.
So today's mini episode Ipulled from the let's Not Meet
subreddit.
It involves an abusive marriageand just a trigger warning.
It is intense, so pleaseconsider this your warning.
There is also a lot of stronglanguage in this episode,

(02:07):
including quite a bit of cussing, so if you're in a tender place
, you might want to skip thisone or listen to it when you
feel more grounded.
Okay, so next week we're goingto return to Survivor Stories
with an episode that I haven'tstopped thinking about since we

(02:27):
recorded it.
Kiana is her name.
Her story is raw and powerfuland it hit me so hard that after
that interview I just sat andstared at the wall.
No lie, her strength isunforgettable and I cannot wait
for you to hear her truth.
But until then, take care ofyourself and let's get into

(02:53):
today's episode.

(03:15):
I was just a sophomore in highschool when I fell head over
heels for the new quiet kid.
I thought he was my forever.
It sounds crazy now, but I wenton to marry him just one week
after graduation High schoolsweethearts.

(03:36):
Looking back now I can see howmany red flags I noticed but
ignored because I was young andeagerly wanted to be a grown-up.
The night before my wedding dayI was going over last-minute
details with my mom, who iseasily one of the most caring

(04:00):
and selfless people I know andselfless people I know Bless my
sweet mama's heart.
When I asked her if she'd bemad if I decided to not go
through with the wedding Mebeing me, mom thought I was
messing with her.
I couldn't bring myself to tellher the truth of what was going

(04:24):
on, so I took a deep breath andforced a believable chuckle.
She genuinely thought I wasjust pulling another one of my
jokes.
I went on to finally tell herthe truth almost a year after I

(04:44):
escaped him.
She still feels bad for nottaking me seriously at the time,
but no one knew what was goingon behind closed doors Makes
sense.
I was honestly doing the mostPR for him.
Only two hours after saying I do, he was throwing me out of the

(05:08):
truck in my parents' driveway,cussing and yelling that he
wanted a divorce and thenrecklessly driving off.
So much for the honeymoon phase.
I ran inside and my dad cameout of the bedroom.
He couldn't understand a word Iwas saying.

(05:30):
He asked me what was happeningand I say as clearly as I could,
while uncontrollably sobbing heleft me.
How could he?
On our honeymoon my dad waspissed but then relaxed and
tried to rationalize thesituation.

(05:51):
Maybe he forgot something ormaybe he was pulling a bad joke,
or something like that.
Then we saw my new husband'struck flying into our driveway
and my dad smiles and says see,he's right there.
I wiped my tears and walked outthe door and tell them.

(06:15):
Yes, it was a prank.
Inside I was screaming.
I was so embarrassed because Ifelt like I looked crazy.
But if I wanted to save thisrelationship, they could never
know the truth.

(06:36):
Months went by and he left formilitary training.
He was sweeter while we werelong distance, but before long
training was complete and I soonpacked up my life and moved to
Texas with him.
I could tell my parents werestarting to see the cracks the

(07:00):
cracks I had worked so hard toglue together.
My mom even picked up my phoneon the table, mistaking it for
hers, and saw this huge messagefrom him and started crying,
begging me not to move becausehe was not a good person.

(07:22):
But I lied.
I assured her that this was wayout of character for him and
that he was just lonely.
I knew she didn't believe me,but she also knew I was stubborn

(07:43):
and I was going to do whateverI thought I had to, regardless
of her concerns.
After just a few weeks in Texas,I knew my life was in danger.
It was Thanksgiving Day and myfamily just called to check up

(08:03):
on us and just tell us HappyThanksgiving.
The moment I hung up, the man Ithought was my soulmate started
cussing at me and saying that Ineed to stop talking to my
family because he was my family.
Now I let out a little chuckle,thinking he's got to be joking.

(08:29):
And then he picks up ourwedding glasses I had made
specifically for us and threwthem directly at me.
They crashed to the ground,shattering around me, shocked.
I didn't know what to do, so Ijust grabbed a broom and started

(08:52):
sweeping up the broken glass.
I know, you know, his tantrumwasn't over.
He then threw picture frames atme while I'm sweeping up the
glass.
Honestly, that broken glass onthe wood floor was just a
metaphor for any love I had lefttowards this man I broke.

(09:18):
That night.
I stopped seeing him as myother half and more as the
monster I was now stuck with.
I became very depressed and heloved that he would break me
down over and over again, justto get a reaction, and over

(09:43):
again, just to get a reaction.
Two months went by and one nighthe completely lost his shit
over some issue with the washerand dryer.
The repairman had mixed up thedates.
They were supposed to come fixthem.
He started pacing back andforth, mumbling words I couldn't
quite make out.
Then he demanded that I calland fix the issue.

(10:04):
He grabbed me and sat me on thecouch telling me what to say
and that I better not fuck it up, as if this was a damn
negotiation.
This man was paranoid as fuck,making comments that the repair
company was doing this to himbecause he was a soldier.

(10:26):
Then he started blaming me,even though I wasn't even around
when he called them in thefirst place.
He yelled at me for hours until, snap, he just stopped.
He walked into the bedroom andme.

(10:49):
I was on the couch stillprocessing that fucking moment,
replaying what he had said to meYou're so fucking stupid.
This is all your fault.
Did you plan this with theworkers to make me look dumb, or
are you really that fuckingdumb?
Huh, you stupid, fucking bitch.

(11:12):
Yeah, that's what I thought.
You fucking, no-good,ungrateful bitch.
Fucking no good, ungratefulbitch.
After this I finally reached thepoint of saying you know what
I'm done.
You won't do anything exceptcomplain and bitch at me.
No-transcript.

(11:40):
He looked at me with this lookthat I've heard other victims
try to describe, and the best Ican describe it is as a darkness
in his eyes, just a emptiness.
It still causes me nightmaresto this day.
Day.
Without hesitation, he lungedat me in the middle of the day,

(12:05):
with the curtains open, doorwide open, neighbors out and
about.
He threw me against the walland started choking me until I
slowly saw black.
He let go only for a second.
Then he slammed my entire bodyto the floor.

(12:26):
At that moment I either blackedout or my brain was trying to
shield me from what washappening.
Slowly I came to and he washolding me by my shoulders, just
repeatedly slamming me onto thefloor.

(12:48):
My screams were ignored by thepeople outside.
I pleaded for anyone to callthe police and yelled for help.
Over and over, my fight orflight took over and I chose
flight.
I ran to the main bathroom andlocked the door.

(13:08):
I frantically called my mom.
In that moment I just wanted tohear her voice.
I was unsure if it would be mylast.
My poor mom didn't know thenightmare of that phone call
until it was too late.
She was with my sister and dadand she put me on speakerphone

(13:31):
so they could all talk to me.
It was something she always did.
It was like we could pretend wewere all together altogether.
Instead, they heard mescreaming for my life and heard
my ex calling me awful names andtelling me to get my ass out of

(13:52):
there and to unlock the door.
They were confused and my dadwas ready to come kill this
asshole himself.
But then silence.
No more banging on the door,just me softly crying and trying
to calm my mother.
Over the phone, I told her Iwas alright and that I knew I

(14:16):
needed to leave him, but I hadto do it in the safest way
possible.
I knew that if he were to catchme, way possible.
I knew that if he were to catchme, I may not make it out with
my life.
When I walked out of the room,my ex was just sitting there
with a blank stare like nothinghad happened.

(14:37):
This was a theme throughout ourthree-year relationship, but I
could no longer ignore theescalation of his behavior.
So one night I put my escapeplan into action.
I was gonna make a run for it.

(14:58):
It was 2 am and the keys to myPontiac were on the kitchen
table and he was asleep in thebedroom that I wasn't allowed in
several days earlier.
I busted out of the guestbedroom that was my prison and

(15:20):
beelined out the front door asquickly and quietly as possible.
I drove nine and a half hoursto my home state, only stopping
once in Dallas to fill up on gas.
With every mile in my rearviewmirror, I felt something inside

(15:42):
me that reassured me.
I'm free now.
I wear these scars, mentallyand emotionally, forever, but
over time most of them havehealed or faded.
I 100% believe that if I hadstayed, I'd be six feet under.

(16:06):
So to my abusive ex-husbandthat I fled from that late
February night.
Let's not meet again Ever.
This survivor escaped, likemany of us do.

(16:38):
She just ran.
She ran in the middle of thenight and she never, ever looked
back.
Thank you so much for listeningto this episode of dismiss true
stories.
I'm really looking forward tohearing your feedback.

(17:00):
Do you like these little miniepisodes in preparation for the
next survivor story?
I would love to hear what youhave to say, what your thoughts
are and if today's episoderesonated with you, if you
related to this story in any way, please take a moment to like,

(17:20):
subscribe and rate.
Dismiss True Stories five stars.
I've said it before, but I'llsay it again Healing happens in
community, and your support forthis podcast helps us reach more
victims and survivors who trulydo need these stories.
It helps them understand thatthey're not alone and that

(17:40):
healing and escaping is possible.
So until next time, thank youfor listening.
Take good care of yourself.
I'll see you next week andremember the world is a better
place because you are in it.
Thank you.