October 24, 2025 • 33 mins
You can hear the tension in Sarah’s voice before the first promise breaks. We open with care—clear content warnings, boundaries—then step into the hardest rooms of her life: three relationships that sold safety and delivered control. Each man arrives with a storyline of protection, family, or stability. Each one, in time, uses that storyline to manage her money, movements, and mind. We trace how love bombing recycles after breakups, how “screening” and “systems” can mask coercion, and how a dog’s collar on a kitchen table becomes the spark for a terrifying eruption of violence.
We also rewind to where the pattern takes root. Sarah is hungry, isolated, and young; survival means unlocked car doors, weekend begging scripts, and arrests that deepen a trauma bond with Boyfriend B. Affection is followed by paranoia, possessiveness, and neglect that stains the house and her memory. Later, Boyfriend C offers the feeling of being chosen—until a laugh triggers an assault in a hotel room. That barefoot run into the night marks a boundary: she will no longer accept harm disguised as love. It’s not a tidy victory, but it’s a turning point.
Beyond partners, we confront the power of institutions. An ex-husband in uniform stretches time as a weapon, exploiting stigma around sex work to strip her of credibility in court. Police call it “civil,” leaving her parked and powerless; a judge eventually recognizes the pattern, awarding a partial, imperfect balance. Through it all, Sarah keeps working, saving, and asking for help even when it costs her dignity—because survival is logistics as much as courage.
This chapter closes with a chill: the worst man is still ahead, and he’s the reason she still looks over her shoulder. Yet there’s community now—listeners who can witness, share, donate, and call to leave words she can carry. If the story moved you, subscribe, share it with someone who needs the pattern map, and leave a review so more people can find it. Your voice helps make safety possible.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
This episode of Dismissed True Stories contains
discussions of domesticviolence, sexual exploitation,
and animal abuse, as well asdescriptions of physical and
emotional harm.
Listener discretion is stronglyadvised.
The stories and accounts you'llhear are based on one survivor's
(00:20):
personal experiences and aretold from her perspective.
Names and identifying detailshave been changed to protect
privacy and safety.
Dismissed true stories does notcondone or promote illegal
activity of any kind.
If you or someone you know isexperiencing abuse, help is
(00:43):
available through the NationalDomestic Violence Hotline at
1-800-799-Safe.
(01:10):
And real quick before we begin,I just want to say thank you so,
so much for coming back in thefourth week of season three to
support Sarah and her fight forsafety.
So last week in The Cost ofSurvival, we heard Sarah reach
(01:31):
essentially a breaking point.
It was a moment wheredesperation and motherhood
collided for her.
She had lost her job, her home,and nearly everything that she
owned for a second time.
And in that place where she wasfeeling hunger and fear, she had
(01:54):
made a choice that many peoplecould simply never fathom.
A choice to sell her body justto survive.
But survival doesn't really stoponce you find shelter.
We're recovering from years ofabuse and trauma, and a lot of
(02:17):
times that survival will justtake on a different kind of
form.
In this episode, The Cost ofAcceptance, Sarah takes us
deeper into that season of herlife.
The years where she spentbelieving that love and safety
could exist inside of chaos.
(02:40):
And I've broken this part of herstory into three different
relationships.
Three different men, eachrepresenting a pattern of
control that kept her trapped incycles of violence and hope and
heartbreak.
And for privacy, we'll refer tothem as boyfriend A, boyfriend
(03:04):
B, and boyfriend C.
And as you listen, you'll noticethe ways that each man will echo
the last.
The promises that sound likeprotection and the apologies
that eventually blur intogaslighting and confusion.
(03:25):
And the quiet moments whereSarah starts to secretly
question if she actuallydeserves more.
This episode containsdiscussions of domestic
violence, sexual exploitation,physical abuse, and animal
(03:46):
abuse.
So please take care whilelistening.
And if you've ever foundyourself staying longer than you
meant to, believing that if youjust love a little harder, that
that could fix what fear hasbroken over the years.
(04:07):
Please believe me when I say youare not the only one who has
done this.
As a survivor, I can confidentlysay that I have done this too.
So let's start where we left offlast week, where Sarah has just
escaped homelessness.
She's tired and she's scared andshe's about to meet boyfriend A.
(04:33):
The man who promises to protecther and ends up doing the
opposite.
SPEAKER_01 (04:53):
Whoever will show me any kind of love, that's who I
need to be around.
And it was not healthy at all.
At all.
Um I thought that I didn'tdeserve better in some ways.
Like I knew I didn't deserve it,but then also at the same time,
(05:15):
it was like, finally, somebodywants to be around me.
Finally, somebody cares.
They say that they are alwaysgonna be there, and you settle
for people that you know aren'tany good for you because you
just are so desperate to beloved.
SPEAKER_00 (05:40):
Aside from from wrecking your car and dragging
you into like these illegalactivities, what what did he
provide to you?
SPEAKER_01 (05:55):
A sense of belonging, a sense of being
wanted.
Um That's about it.
We ended we actually were onagain, off again quite a bit.
During the time that we wereoff, that's when I became
homeless.
I ended up losing that duplexthat we were in.
(06:17):
I became homeless.
I was hungry a lot.
I got arrested a couple moretimes for stealing food, and I
was just so hungry and sodesperate, and that's when I
ended up meeting.
SPEAKER_00 (06:32):
I tried as hard as I could, but I couldn't get the
editing right on this part to beable to chop and screw this in a
way that makes sense.
So, just a note for you (06:42):
we are talking about boyfriend A.
SPEAKER_01 (06:48):
And then that was a very traumatic cycle of he would
promise that he was everything Iever wanted.
He was also very narcissistic.
He continued to make me feellike I wasn't worthy of him
because I was stupid or I wasless than, and we were very on
(07:10):
again, off again because I wouldgo through phases of I don't
deserve this, this isn't right,you're not the man that you keep
telling me you are.
But then we would split up and Iwould be lonely and miserable,
and he would come back aroundand I miss you, I love you, we
can fix this, let's get backtogether.
(07:30):
And he pulled me back in so manytimes.
You know, there was so manytimes that he beat me where I
had black eyes, I had brokenblood vessels in my eyeballs,
and somehow he just continued topull me back in and pull me back
in.
You know, I I'm definitely notproud of these relationships by
any means, but also in the samesense, I understand why I
(07:54):
allowed some of these things,and it was really just out of
desperation to finally be lovedby somebody.
SPEAKER_00 (08:02):
Raise your hand if you've ever been a victim to
love bombing even after yourrelationship ended.
Because at this point, Sarahsays that she's already left him
more than once.
And if you have ever lovedsomeone who has hurt you, it
doesn't mean that it's over whenyou leave.
(08:23):
Because what's tricky about lovebombing is that it doesn't just
happen in the beginning.
Sometimes, you know, it happensjust right after the breakup
because they're able to flipthis switch where suddenly
they're saying everything thatyou've ever needed to hear.
Things like I've changed, I getit now, and you're the only one
(08:45):
who has ever understood me.
And for a moment, you want tobelieve it because it feels so
good, because you remember theversion of them that once made
you feel safe or seen or chosenand special.
And you tell yourself that maybethis time things will be
different.
(09:06):
And maybe if you love themharder or you change a little
more, or you do things your way,that it won't all fall apart
again.
But it's never about love, it'sabout control.
And in Sarah's case, he usedthat same charm, the same false
(09:27):
promises of a better future tointroduce her to what he said
was a safer and smarter way tomake money.
A new system, a new start.
But what she didn't know thenwas that this so-called upgrade
wasn't for her.
(09:47):
It was for him.
SPEAKER_01 (09:51):
The clientele on this website was typically very
rich, married businessmen whowanted secrecy.
They wanted anonymity.
It wasn't as bad, if you will.
So I started creating my ownclientele.
I ended up cutting that girloff, going independent, if you
(10:11):
will.
I was keeping all of my ownmoney and I was making my own
decisions on who I was willingto see or not see.
I thought that I had createdthis screening process, if you
will, to determine who I wasgonna feel safe with or not feel
safe with.
It wasn't always entirelyaccurate.
The man that I was dating, hewas like, I can support you, I
(10:33):
can protect you, I can make surethat nobody hurts you.
He became involved and he wassupposed to protect me, but he
did not.
SPEAKER_00 (10:42):
Sarah says that there were times when the work
itself became dangerous.
She describes encounters whereclients had crossed lines, where
fear was replaced with control,and where she left those
situations bruised physicallyand emotionally.
And in her words, that's whenshe turned to boyfriend A, the
(11:06):
man who promised to keep hersafe.
And she says that when she wentto him shaken and asking for
help and asking him to step upand step in, that promise of
protection never came.
SPEAKER_01 (11:18):
You know, I told him what happened and I said, I need
you to go back and get my phoneand my car keys.
You said that you would protectme, and there's no protection.
He was like, I don't know whatyou want me to do.
Go kick his door in and then getthe cops called, and then I'm
gonna get arrested.
And I was like, But you said youwould not let anything happen to
me, and yet all these thingskeep happening to me.
(11:42):
This man was extremely,extremely manipulative and
extremely good at masking histrue intentions.
He would tell me constantly,let's build a life together,
let's be a family, let's startover, let's use this money that
(12:03):
you're making so we can save upto buy ourselves a house and
we'll create this life together.
And what he really meant was,let me pretend to love you while
secretly being your pimp andtrafficking you and taking all
your money.
Um he would let me keep enoughmoney to keep paying my lawyer,
(12:26):
but outside of my lawyer feesand my hotel fees, I wasn't
allowed to keep anything.
He would make me work when I wason my period, he would make me
work when I was sick, wouldconstantly threaten me, he beat
me multiple times.
I would have black eyes andbroken blood vessels in my
eyeballs, and he would be like,Well, you better find some good
(12:50):
makeup and figure it out.
He used to call his brothers alot, talk shit on me to his
brothers where I could hear him.
So he's just degrading me andmaking me feel very small.
I was always to blame foreverything.
Everything was my fault.
He was this wonderful man and Iwas this stupid bitch who
(13:11):
couldn't do anything right.
Was one day where I was we hadfinally gotten this home that he
had promised, and we had finallymoved in, and I was cooking
dinner.
I let his dogs out in thebackyard so that uh they could
use the restroom.
And when they came back in, theone dog's collar was like, I
don't know if he like stuck hishead under the fence, and he
(13:32):
some somehow the dog was able toget the collar mostly off of his
neck, and it was just kind oflike a headband around his head.
So I just pulled it off and Iset it on the kitchen table, and
I was like, I need to finishcooking, I'll worry about it
later.
So he comes in the kitchen andhe's like, You really put the
dog's collar on the kitchentable?
So he makes me sit at thekitchen table and he pushes the
(13:55):
table into my chest so that I'mpinned between the wall and the
table.
He's telling me that I'm a sucha disgusting person, that I was
trying to poison his childrenbecause the dog germs were gonna
get on the kitchen table, andthen his children were gonna eat
there, and I was gonna poisonthem and give them diseases.
(14:16):
Obviously, I didn't care abouthim.
Obviously, I didn't care abouthis children.
Obviously, I was incapable ofbeing what he needed because I
was stupid enough to think itwas okay to leave the dog's
collar on the table.
SPEAKER_00 (14:29):
Use a fucking Clorox wipe, man.
Like they just look for a reasonto let it all just and explode.
And they can find the smallestof reasons many times.
And it could create this one bighuge eruption of violence.
SPEAKER_01 (14:49):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (14:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:51):
Um, he threw cans of Lysol at me, he beat me with a
broomstick.
If I would try to lift my armsto protect myself in any sort of
way, he would scream at me toput my arms down and hit me
again so that I wasn't able toblock the blows.
He wanted me to feel it.
SPEAKER_00 (15:09):
And this is the same I'm sorry, this is the same guy
that said that he was going toprotect you, right?
SPEAKER_01 (15:17):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (15:18):
Okay.
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (15:22):
Um I I did leave him multiple times, and he was able
to love bomb me and get me tocome back multiple times, even
though he had beaten me so manytimes before.
Again, when you have beenstarved for love your whole
life, and the two people thatyou trust the most betray you,
(15:47):
it really deepens that ache inyour heart to have somebody who
does love you.
And I feel like that's a bigpart of the reason why I
continued to go back, is becauseI just wanted to be loved so
badly.
And when things were good withhim, things were great.
And when it was bad, it washorrible.
SPEAKER_00 (16:10):
And that's what we say, I think, is like we hold on
to the good times and we tellourselves, like, I'm not crazy.
Like, there is good in thisperson, and I've experienced it.
That's why we stay for so long,because we hold on to that hope.
SPEAKER_01 (16:25):
Yeah, we hold on to that dream of what they promise
us, and we think, surely thatman that they said they were,
surely that man that you saw inthe beginning will come back.
It's not gonna continue to belike it is.
And they promise, I won't do itagain.
I I'm sorry, I didn't mean it.
And you stay, and it only evergets worse, in my experience.
SPEAKER_00 (16:47):
How did how did you end up ending that relationship?
SPEAKER_01 (16:52):
So he had beaten me so many times, and I had left
and come back and left and comeback, but the the final straw
for me was that um he pulled agun on me and I ran out of his
front door thinking that he wasgonna shoot me.
I decided this is it, I can't goback.
(17:12):
So I started workingindependently as a sex worker.
I lived out of a hotel and drovea rental car for months and
months, and I couldn't get abank account in my name because
my ex-husband um got a bunch ofpayday loans while we were still
together, and then he removedhis direct deposit from the bank
(17:34):
account.
We had a joint bank account, andso Bank of America said that I
owed them thousands of dollars,and I couldn't even get a bank
account.
I still had no work history, noeducation.
So I was at a point where Ireally had no choice but to go
to my mother and ask her, willyou please help me get an
apartment?
I'm spending an ungodly amountof money on having a rental car
(17:59):
and having a hotel full-timewhen I could just rent an
apartment and buy a vehicle.
Having to come to my mom and begfor help after everything that
had happened was a verydegrading experience.
Initially, she didn't want tohelp me, but I continued to
prove to her how much money Iwas really making.
(18:21):
She offered to start holding mycash for me.
She was like, Well, if you keepall this cash on you and you get
robbed, then then what?
She was holding all my money forme.
There was multiple times wherewe had discrepancies of, you
know, I I swore I gave you$2,000the other day, and you say I
only gave you a thousand orwhatever the case may be, but I
(18:45):
was kind of stuck in thatsituation.
I really didn't have anyone elseI could rely on.
And although I was pretty sureshe was stealing money from me,
I I really didn't have any otheroptions.
Eventually, she did co-sign onan apartment for me.
I was able to purchase avehicle, I was able to pay for
(19:05):
my lawyer.
SPEAKER_00 (19:08):
When Sarah talks about that season with her
mother, you can still hear theache in her voice.
Asking for help felt likesurrendering that last bit of
control that she had.
She says that it was humiliatingto have the same woman who had
failed her so many times nowholding her money, deciding what
she could and what she couldn'thave.
(19:30):
But at that point, she trulydidn't feel like she had anyone
else.
And while we've been followingthe thread of her relationship
with boyfriend A, the man whointroduced her to that new
system of survival, this nextpart of her story actually takes
us back a few years earlier toanother relationship that came
(19:53):
long before him.
And this is important because ithelps us to understand what came
next, how the pattern started.
Boyfriend B enters her story ata time when she was younger,
still in her early 20s, stilltrying to figure out what love
was supposed to feel like.
Before the website, before thepromises of safety, before any
(20:17):
of that, there was this man.
SPEAKER_01 (20:21):
When you are star for love as a child, and you
think you finally find somebodywho cares about you, and you
think that they love you, andthen you find out they're having
an affair with your mother, andthen you meet somebody new,
you're like desperate to hold onto something.
Like, somebody please care,somebody please love me,
(20:43):
somebody please want to spendtime with me.
Um, I felt very isolated, I wasvery lonely, I was very hurt,
and I just wanted what I'vealways wanted.
I wanted somebody to care aboutme.
So I put up with a ridiculousamount of stuff.
He was also there during thetime frame where the inheritance
money had run out and the paidup rent had run out, and I had
(21:05):
lost my job.
And right before I lost myapartment, he and I started
walking the neighborhoods lateat night.
Whatever cars were unlocked, wewould get in them, take change,
or whatever we could findbecause we were hungry and we
hadn't eaten.
And there was days where Ididn't have toilet paper or
(21:26):
hadn't eaten in a couple ofdays.
And another thing that I used todo during that time frame was
Friday, Saturday nights, hewould always go to the bar with
his friends.
And his excuse was, well, I'mnot spending any money.
They're the ones buying medrinks.
So he would go out to the barand I would get all dressed up
like I was gonna go to the bar,except I would just walk to the
(21:47):
gas station by my house with anempty gas can in my hand, and I
would tell people, I went out tothe bar tonight with my friends
and somebody stole my purse, andnow my car just ran out of gas.
I'm literally just trying to gethome.
Could you help me with some gasso I can make it back home?
I don't have my wallet, I don'thave anything, someone stole my
(22:07):
purse.
Can you please help me?
Basically, I would just repeatthe process for a few hours
until I had enough resourcesthat I could survive off of it
for the week.
That really only worked on theweekends.
You know, I couldn't say on aTuesday night.
Well, we were out at the cluband somebody stole my purse
because they're gonna be like,Why are you at the club on a
Tuesday night?
You know, but eventually the gasstations they started to
(22:31):
recognize me and notice that Iwas out there, you know, begging
every weekend and they startedasking me to stop coming on the
property, and I ended up gettingarrested a few different times
for stealing food.
And so one night Keon and I werelike, we're gonna go to a
different neighborhood and tryto see what we can come up with.
(22:51):
I was going through cars.
I thought he was also goingthrough cars, but apparently he
was breaking into people'shouses.
He entered a woman's house andshe saw him and she called the
police.
And he did not tell me that thiswoman saw him or that, hey, we
should we should get out ofhere, basically.
He didn't say anything.
The police both arrive andtackle both of us, and um, we
(23:14):
ended up going to jail together.
Unfortunately, during the time Iwas delusional and it
strengthened our trauma bond, ifyou will.
You know, after you would thinkafter that, I would know you
need to leave this guy alone.
He's trouble, nothing good isgonna come of this.
You need to move on.
But again, being lonely anddesperate for somebody to
(23:36):
finally care about me.
SPEAKER_00 (23:38):
I understand this to a point where I never went after
the guys that I saw or thoughtwere like quote unquote better
than me.
And so I feel like I alwaysdated down.
And and to go after someone likelike that, like you don't feel
like what's the word?
Like you just don't feel worthy.
SPEAKER_01 (23:59):
Absolutely, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (24:01):
And then so you accept less than what you
deserve because you think thatthat's what you deserve.
SPEAKER_01 (24:09):
Absolutely, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (24:11):
But this, this lifestyle, when you were living
this, this is did you honestlythink that this is what you
deserved?
SPEAKER_01 (24:18):
No, I just I thought that I didn't deserve better in
some ways.
Like I knew I didn't deserve it,but then also at the same time,
it was like finally somebodywants to be around me, finally
somebody cares.
They say that they are alwaysgonna be there, and you settle
for people that you know aren'tany good for you because you
(24:41):
just are so desperate to beloved.
SPEAKER_00 (24:43):
Did he have a way that he was there?
unknown (24:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:47):
There was a lot of affection.
I feel like we did have a reallystrong bond for years.
We just life was crazy duringthat time frame.
Um, we were just reallystruggling to survive, and he
has an anger problem.
He's gets violent, he gets veryverbally abusive um at times.
(25:09):
And yeah.
How did you finally walk awayfrom he moved in with me and I
was paying to him to like be mysecurity guard.
So he would hang out in theother bedroom while I had
clients over, just so that Godforbid anything went wrong that
he was there to protect me.
(25:30):
Um, he just became verypossessive.
There was one night I woke up inthe middle of the night because
I'm smelling something, and I'mlike, what is that smell?
And I go in the kitchen and hehad taken apart this radio.
He had taken all the wiring outof it, and he was using a
lighter to melt the plastic offof the wires because he thought
(25:52):
he was gonna be able to turn inthe copper from the wires to get
money.
He also had three dogs at thetime, and the dogs ended up
getting in a fight one day.
The one dog got attacked prettybad, and essentially he let his
dog die in my living room andthen left the dog's body and
wouldn't even move it.
(26:13):
It was one night where I woke upbecause he was standing over me
going through my phone, and I'mlike, What are you doing?
And he was like, Why would youtext this person lol?
Why is that funny?
You think it's okay for you totext LOL to other guys?
And I was like, That's my cousinthat I was texting.
(26:34):
That's not some guy.
And he was like, sure, sure,sure.
Like, he didn't believe me.
Um, he got very belligerent.
He tried to put his hands on me,and I ended up just being able
to get in my car and leave.
I ended up telling his mom thathe had a drug problem.
That was like an ultimatebetrayal to him.
(26:56):
How dare you tell my mother I'mon drugs?
How dare she know the truthabout what a monster I really
am?
And how dare you tell her that Iput my hands on you all the
time, and how dare you tell herthat I use you for money.
And so that was basically theend of that.
SPEAKER_00 (27:13):
When we zoom out, what we see in Sarah's story
isn't just a string of badrelationships, it's a pattern
that lives inside of so manystories of domestic violence.
Sarah's life had taught her thatlove, it comes with pain.
That the people who say thatthey'll protect you will also be
(27:35):
the ones to hurt you.
And when that message is allthat you've ever known, you
start to mistake chaos forconnection.
She says that boyfriend B reallyjust depended on her to hold his
life together while hers was toput it simply falling apart.
(27:57):
And then when boyfriend C camealong, this next relationship
we're about to dive into, hepromised her something real,
something lasting.
He pursued her and convinced herthat she was finally worthy of
being chosen.
But the moment where she laughedthat she threatened his
(28:20):
masculinity, the smallest signof his confidence turned to
violence.
SPEAKER_01 (28:30):
We got reconnected later on, years later, and he
was like, you know, I'm readyfor something serious.
We should, we should betogether.
And I was like, Are you sure youwant this?
Because people keep telling methat they want to be with me,
and then it ends up super crazyand terrible.
And he's like, No, like I'mreally serious.
(28:51):
Like we can we can do this.
So I'm like, okay.
We ended up going to NewOrleans.
Uh we went from Mardi Gras.
The trip was good, um, until itwasn't.
I don't even really rememberwhat we were arguing about.
We were arguing about somethingin the hotel room.
All I remember is that I laughedat him, and that's what made him
(29:11):
attack me was me laughing athim.
He was trying to choke me andbeat me in the hotel room.
I was able to get out of hisgrasp.
I ran out of the hotel barefoot.
I had left all of like mysuitcase, all my stuff in the
room, didn't care.
I was ready to get away fromhim.
I was tired of being abused, andI was tired of accepting that
(29:34):
these men thought it was okayfor them to put their hands on
me, and I knew that I didn'tdeserve that.
I knew I was a good person.
I knew that it was unreasonablefor them to be angry enough to
put their hands on me.
SPEAKER_00 (29:49):
For Sarah, this isn't just one cycle of abuse.
It was literally everywhere inher life.
In her relationships.
Yeah.
But also in her work where menused her body and her
vulnerability in her home life,where her mother's help came
with control and betrayal.
(30:12):
And in the court system whereher ex-husband, a man who once
sworn to protect, still usedpower to punish.
SPEAKER_01 (30:22):
So every time the judge would set a custody
agreement, we would leave courtand I would, you know, I would
think, okay, well, I get Monday,Wednesday, Friday, and then we
switch every week.
Every time I would go to pick upmy kids, he would either be
several hours late.
He would leave me sitting inparking lots waiting for hours,
(30:44):
show up super late or not showup at all when I figured out
where they were living.
I would show up at their house.
You know, today's my day to seethe kids.
You need to let me have them.
And he would be like, Well, callthe police if you want to.
And then I would call the policeand they would say, ma'am, this
is a civil matter.
If you want to see your kids,you're gonna have to take him
back to court for custody again.
(31:05):
And I'm like, I've been takinghim to court for custody for
over two years now.
I didn't see my kids for about ayear and a half during our
custody battle.
And then once I started seeingthem again, he would just dangle
them over my head.
Oh yeah, you get these daysbecause the judge said so.
And then when it was my turn tohave them, he would rip the rug
(31:27):
out from under me and ha ha,just kidding.
And it was a really funny joketo him and his new girlfriend.
He would show up to court forour custody hearings in his
police officer uniform, and hewould stand with his hands
behind his back like he's justthis respectable citizen and
servant of the city.
And he would tell them that Iwas a drug addict and I was a
(31:48):
prostitute, and he would printout pictures of me from and be
like, see, she's clearlyderanged, she doesn't deserve
these kids.
Um, she's a terrible person.
I just continue to pour my heartout to the judge and say, sir,
I've been through some things.
Yes.
Am I proud of my profession?
Absolutely not.
(32:08):
But if that doesn't show youthat I will literally do
anything to get my kids back,then I don't know what else
will.
Because I'm literally selling mysoul to come up with the money,
to pay my lawyer, and have aplace to live so that I can get
my kids back.
And so eventually the judgestarted to see through all of
his lies.
(32:29):
He saw the real me that was justbegging to just be a mother and
begging to have my kids back.
And I wish that he would havesupported me a little bit more,
but he decided that 50-50custody was fair.
SPEAKER_00 (32:45):
Over these last four episodes, we've watched a
pattern take shape.
Different men, different faces,but the same kind of power.
The same cycle that pulled Sarahin broke her down, and then
forced her to start over againand again.
(33:06):
And just like in a courtroom,patterns matter.
They tell the judge what'sreally happening beneath the
surface, who's trying to change,and who's just changing tactics.
That pattern is what broughtSarah here to the place where
she finally thought she'd seenthe worst of it, but she hadn't.
(33:30):
Because everything that you'veheard so far, every betrayal,
every promise, every bruise thatfaded, was only preparing her
for the man that she is runningfrom today.
And next week, we meet him.
The man who would become thereason that Sarah has to keep
looking over her shoulder.
Even now, with him behind bars.
(33:53):
And if Sarah's story moved you,please, please share this
episode.
Stories like hers deserve to beheard, not dismissed.
You can find a link to Sarah'sGoFundMe in the show notes below
if you'd like to help herrebuild her life in safety.
Every share, every donation,every small act of support helps
(34:15):
make that possible.
And if you'd like to leave Saraha message, a few words of
encouragement, or what herstrength has meant to you, you
can call the Dismissed TrueStories voicemail line at
1-844-TELL-DTS.
And some of your messages may befeatured in future episodes.
(34:38):
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for showing up.
And thank you for helping usremind survivors everywhere that
their stories matter.
Because today, and like in everyepisode before, we're breaking
the silence.
One sentence, one story, and oneepisode at a time.
This episode of Dismissed True Stories contains
discussions of domesticviolence, sexual exploitation,
and animal abuse, as well asdescriptions of physical and
emotional harm.
Listener discretion is stronglyadvised.
The stories and accounts you'llhear are based on one survivor's
(00:20):
personal experiences and aretold from her perspective.
Names and identifying detailshave been changed to protect
privacy and safety.
Dismissed true stories does notcondone or promote illegal
activity of any kind.
If you or someone you know isexperiencing abuse, help is
(00:43):
available through the NationalDomestic Violence Hotline at
1-800-799-Safe.
(01:10):
And real quick before we begin,I just want to say thank you so,
so much for coming back in thefourth week of season three to
support Sarah and her fight forsafety.
So last week in The Cost ofSurvival, we heard Sarah reach
(01:31):
essentially a breaking point.
It was a moment wheredesperation and motherhood
collided for her.
She had lost her job, her home,and nearly everything that she
owned for a second time.
And in that place where she wasfeeling hunger and fear, she had
(01:54):
made a choice that many peoplecould simply never fathom.
A choice to sell her body justto survive.
But survival doesn't really stoponce you find shelter.
We're recovering from years ofabuse and trauma, and a lot of
(02:17):
times that survival will justtake on a different kind of
form.
In this episode, The Cost ofAcceptance, Sarah takes us
deeper into that season of herlife.
The years where she spentbelieving that love and safety
could exist inside of chaos.
(02:40):
And I've broken this part of herstory into three different
relationships.
Three different men, eachrepresenting a pattern of
control that kept her trapped incycles of violence and hope and
heartbreak.
And for privacy, we'll refer tothem as boyfriend A, boyfriend
(03:04):
B, and boyfriend C.
And as you listen, you'll noticethe ways that each man will echo
the last.
The promises that sound likeprotection and the apologies
that eventually blur intogaslighting and confusion.
(03:25):
And the quiet moments whereSarah starts to secretly
question if she actuallydeserves more.
This episode containsdiscussions of domestic
violence, sexual exploitation,physical abuse, and animal
(03:46):
abuse.
So please take care whilelistening.
And if you've ever foundyourself staying longer than you
meant to, believing that if youjust love a little harder, that
that could fix what fear hasbroken over the years.
(04:07):
Please believe me when I say youare not the only one who has
done this.
As a survivor, I can confidentlysay that I have done this too.
So let's start where we left offlast week, where Sarah has just
escaped homelessness.
She's tired and she's scared andshe's about to meet boyfriend A.
(04:33):
The man who promises to protecther and ends up doing the
opposite.
SPEAKER_01 (04:53):
Whoever will show me any kind of love, that's who I
need to be around.
And it was not healthy at all.
At all.
Um I thought that I didn'tdeserve better in some ways.
Like I knew I didn't deserve it,but then also at the same time,
(05:15):
it was like, finally, somebodywants to be around me.
Finally, somebody cares.
They say that they are alwaysgonna be there, and you settle
for people that you know aren'tany good for you because you
just are so desperate to beloved.
SPEAKER_00 (05:40):
Aside from from wrecking your car and dragging
you into like these illegalactivities, what what did he
provide to you?
SPEAKER_01 (05:55):
A sense of belonging, a sense of being
wanted.
Um That's about it.
We ended we actually were onagain, off again quite a bit.
During the time that we wereoff, that's when I became
homeless.
I ended up losing that duplexthat we were in.
(06:17):
I became homeless.
I was hungry a lot.
I got arrested a couple moretimes for stealing food, and I
was just so hungry and sodesperate, and that's when I
ended up meeting.
SPEAKER_00 (06:32):
I tried as hard as I could, but I couldn't get the
editing right on this part to beable to chop and screw this in a
way that makes sense.
So, just a note for you (06:42):
we are talking about boyfriend A.
SPEAKER_01 (06:48):
And then that was a very traumatic cycle of he would
promise that he was everything Iever wanted.
He was also very narcissistic.
He continued to make me feellike I wasn't worthy of him
because I was stupid or I wasless than, and we were very on
(07:10):
again, off again because I wouldgo through phases of I don't
deserve this, this isn't right,you're not the man that you keep
telling me you are.
But then we would split up and Iwould be lonely and miserable,
and he would come back aroundand I miss you, I love you, we
can fix this, let's get backtogether.
(07:30):
And he pulled me back in so manytimes.
You know, there was so manytimes that he beat me where I
had black eyes, I had brokenblood vessels in my eyeballs,
and somehow he just continued topull me back in and pull me back
in.
You know, I I'm definitely notproud of these relationships by
any means, but also in the samesense, I understand why I
(07:54):
allowed some of these things,and it was really just out of
desperation to finally be lovedby somebody.
SPEAKER_00 (08:02):
Raise your hand if you've ever been a victim to
love bombing even after yourrelationship ended.
Because at this point, Sarahsays that she's already left him
more than once.
And if you have ever lovedsomeone who has hurt you, it
doesn't mean that it's over whenyou leave.
(08:23):
Because what's tricky about lovebombing is that it doesn't just
happen in the beginning.
Sometimes, you know, it happensjust right after the breakup
because they're able to flipthis switch where suddenly
they're saying everything thatyou've ever needed to hear.
Things like I've changed, I getit now, and you're the only one
(08:45):
who has ever understood me.
And for a moment, you want tobelieve it because it feels so
good, because you remember theversion of them that once made
you feel safe or seen or chosenand special.
And you tell yourself that maybethis time things will be
different.
(09:06):
And maybe if you love themharder or you change a little
more, or you do things your way,that it won't all fall apart
again.
But it's never about love, it'sabout control.
And in Sarah's case, he usedthat same charm, the same false
(09:27):
promises of a better future tointroduce her to what he said
was a safer and smarter way tomake money.
A new system, a new start.
But what she didn't know thenwas that this so-called upgrade
wasn't for her.
(09:47):
It was for him.
SPEAKER_01 (09:51):
The clientele on this website was typically very
rich, married businessmen whowanted secrecy.
They wanted anonymity.
It wasn't as bad, if you will.
So I started creating my ownclientele.
I ended up cutting that girloff, going independent, if you
(10:11):
will.
I was keeping all of my ownmoney and I was making my own
decisions on who I was willingto see or not see.
I thought that I had createdthis screening process, if you
will, to determine who I wasgonna feel safe with or not feel
safe with.
It wasn't always entirelyaccurate.
The man that I was dating, hewas like, I can support you, I
(10:33):
can protect you, I can make surethat nobody hurts you.
He became involved and he wassupposed to protect me, but he
did not.
SPEAKER_00 (10:42):
Sarah says that there were times when the work
itself became dangerous.
She describes encounters whereclients had crossed lines, where
fear was replaced with control,and where she left those
situations bruised physicallyand emotionally.
And in her words, that's whenshe turned to boyfriend A, the
(11:06):
man who promised to keep hersafe.
And she says that when she wentto him shaken and asking for
help and asking him to step upand step in, that promise of
protection never came.
SPEAKER_01 (11:18):
You know, I told him what happened and I said, I need
you to go back and get my phoneand my car keys.
You said that you would protectme, and there's no protection.
He was like, I don't know whatyou want me to do.
Go kick his door in and then getthe cops called, and then I'm
gonna get arrested.
And I was like, But you said youwould not let anything happen to
me, and yet all these thingskeep happening to me.
(11:42):
This man was extremely,extremely manipulative and
extremely good at masking histrue intentions.
He would tell me constantly,let's build a life together,
let's be a family, let's startover, let's use this money that
(12:03):
you're making so we can save upto buy ourselves a house and
we'll create this life together.
And what he really meant was,let me pretend to love you while
secretly being your pimp andtrafficking you and taking all
your money.
Um he would let me keep enoughmoney to keep paying my lawyer,
(12:26):
but outside of my lawyer feesand my hotel fees, I wasn't
allowed to keep anything.
He would make me work when I wason my period, he would make me
work when I was sick, wouldconstantly threaten me, he beat
me multiple times.
I would have black eyes andbroken blood vessels in my
eyeballs, and he would be like,Well, you better find some good
(12:50):
makeup and figure it out.
He used to call his brothers alot, talk shit on me to his
brothers where I could hear him.
So he's just degrading me andmaking me feel very small.
I was always to blame foreverything.
Everything was my fault.
He was this wonderful man and Iwas this stupid bitch who
(13:11):
couldn't do anything right.
Was one day where I was we hadfinally gotten this home that he
had promised, and we had finallymoved in, and I was cooking
dinner.
I let his dogs out in thebackyard so that uh they could
use the restroom.
And when they came back in, theone dog's collar was like, I
don't know if he like stuck hishead under the fence, and he
(13:32):
some somehow the dog was able toget the collar mostly off of his
neck, and it was just kind oflike a headband around his head.
So I just pulled it off and Iset it on the kitchen table, and
I was like, I need to finishcooking, I'll worry about it
later.
So he comes in the kitchen andhe's like, You really put the
dog's collar on the kitchentable?
So he makes me sit at thekitchen table and he pushes the
(13:55):
table into my chest so that I'mpinned between the wall and the
table.
He's telling me that I'm a sucha disgusting person, that I was
trying to poison his childrenbecause the dog germs were gonna
get on the kitchen table, andthen his children were gonna eat
there, and I was gonna poisonthem and give them diseases.
(14:16):
Obviously, I didn't care abouthim.
Obviously, I didn't care abouthis children.
Obviously, I was incapable ofbeing what he needed because I
was stupid enough to think itwas okay to leave the dog's
collar on the table.
SPEAKER_00 (14:29):
Use a fucking Clorox wipe, man.
Like they just look for a reasonto let it all just and explode.
And they can find the smallestof reasons many times.
And it could create this one bighuge eruption of violence.
SPEAKER_01 (14:49):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (14:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:51):
Um, he threw cans of Lysol at me, he beat me with a
broomstick.
If I would try to lift my armsto protect myself in any sort of
way, he would scream at me toput my arms down and hit me
again so that I wasn't able toblock the blows.
He wanted me to feel it.
SPEAKER_00 (15:09):
And this is the same I'm sorry, this is the same guy
that said that he was going toprotect you, right?
SPEAKER_01 (15:17):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (15:18):
Okay.
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (15:22):
Um I I did leave him multiple times, and he was able
to love bomb me and get me tocome back multiple times, even
though he had beaten me so manytimes before.
Again, when you have beenstarved for love your whole
life, and the two people thatyou trust the most betray you,
(15:47):
it really deepens that ache inyour heart to have somebody who
does love you.
And I feel like that's a bigpart of the reason why I
continued to go back, is becauseI just wanted to be loved so
badly.
And when things were good withhim, things were great.
And when it was bad, it washorrible.
SPEAKER_00 (16:10):
And that's what we say, I think, is like we hold on
to the good times and we tellourselves, like, I'm not crazy.
Like, there is good in thisperson, and I've experienced it.
That's why we stay for so long,because we hold on to that hope.
SPEAKER_01 (16:25):
Yeah, we hold on to that dream of what they promise
us, and we think, surely thatman that they said they were,
surely that man that you saw inthe beginning will come back.
It's not gonna continue to belike it is.
And they promise, I won't do itagain.
I I'm sorry, I didn't mean it.
And you stay, and it only evergets worse, in my experience.
SPEAKER_00 (16:47):
How did how did you end up ending that relationship?
SPEAKER_01 (16:52):
So he had beaten me so many times, and I had left
and come back and left and comeback, but the the final straw
for me was that um he pulled agun on me and I ran out of his
front door thinking that he wasgonna shoot me.
I decided this is it, I can't goback.
(17:12):
So I started workingindependently as a sex worker.
I lived out of a hotel and drovea rental car for months and
months, and I couldn't get abank account in my name because
my ex-husband um got a bunch ofpayday loans while we were still
together, and then he removedhis direct deposit from the bank
(17:34):
account.
We had a joint bank account, andso Bank of America said that I
owed them thousands of dollars,and I couldn't even get a bank
account.
I still had no work history, noeducation.
So I was at a point where Ireally had no choice but to go
to my mother and ask her, willyou please help me get an
apartment?
I'm spending an ungodly amountof money on having a rental car
(17:59):
and having a hotel full-timewhen I could just rent an
apartment and buy a vehicle.
Having to come to my mom and begfor help after everything that
had happened was a verydegrading experience.
Initially, she didn't want tohelp me, but I continued to
prove to her how much money Iwas really making.
(18:21):
She offered to start holding mycash for me.
She was like, Well, if you keepall this cash on you and you get
robbed, then then what?
She was holding all my money forme.
There was multiple times wherewe had discrepancies of, you
know, I I swore I gave you$2,000the other day, and you say I
only gave you a thousand orwhatever the case may be, but I
(18:45):
was kind of stuck in thatsituation.
I really didn't have anyone elseI could rely on.
And although I was pretty sureshe was stealing money from me,
I I really didn't have any otheroptions.
Eventually, she did co-sign onan apartment for me.
I was able to purchase avehicle, I was able to pay for
(19:05):
my lawyer.
SPEAKER_00 (19:08):
When Sarah talks about that season with her
mother, you can still hear theache in her voice.
Asking for help felt likesurrendering that last bit of
control that she had.
She says that it was humiliatingto have the same woman who had
failed her so many times nowholding her money, deciding what
she could and what she couldn'thave.
(19:30):
But at that point, she trulydidn't feel like she had anyone
else.
And while we've been followingthe thread of her relationship
with boyfriend A, the man whointroduced her to that new
system of survival, this nextpart of her story actually takes
us back a few years earlier toanother relationship that came
(19:53):
long before him.
And this is important because ithelps us to understand what came
next, how the pattern started.
Boyfriend B enters her story ata time when she was younger,
still in her early 20s, stilltrying to figure out what love
was supposed to feel like.
Before the website, before thepromises of safety, before any
(20:17):
of that, there was this man.
SPEAKER_01 (20:21):
When you are star for love as a child, and you
think you finally find somebodywho cares about you, and you
think that they love you, andthen you find out they're having
an affair with your mother, andthen you meet somebody new,
you're like desperate to hold onto something.
Like, somebody please care,somebody please love me,
(20:43):
somebody please want to spendtime with me.
Um, I felt very isolated, I wasvery lonely, I was very hurt,
and I just wanted what I'vealways wanted.
I wanted somebody to care aboutme.
So I put up with a ridiculousamount of stuff.
He was also there during thetime frame where the inheritance
money had run out and the paidup rent had run out, and I had
(21:05):
lost my job.
And right before I lost myapartment, he and I started
walking the neighborhoods lateat night.
Whatever cars were unlocked, wewould get in them, take change,
or whatever we could findbecause we were hungry and we
hadn't eaten.
And there was days where Ididn't have toilet paper or
(21:26):
hadn't eaten in a couple ofdays.
And another thing that I used todo during that time frame was
Friday, Saturday nights, hewould always go to the bar with
his friends.
And his excuse was, well, I'mnot spending any money.
They're the ones buying medrinks.
So he would go out to the barand I would get all dressed up
like I was gonna go to the bar,except I would just walk to the
(21:47):
gas station by my house with anempty gas can in my hand, and I
would tell people, I went out tothe bar tonight with my friends
and somebody stole my purse, andnow my car just ran out of gas.
I'm literally just trying to gethome.
Could you help me with some gasso I can make it back home?
I don't have my wallet, I don'thave anything, someone stole my
(22:07):
purse.
Can you please help me?
Basically, I would just repeatthe process for a few hours
until I had enough resourcesthat I could survive off of it
for the week.
That really only worked on theweekends.
You know, I couldn't say on aTuesday night.
Well, we were out at the cluband somebody stole my purse
because they're gonna be like,Why are you at the club on a
Tuesday night?
You know, but eventually the gasstations they started to
(22:31):
recognize me and notice that Iwas out there, you know, begging
every weekend and they startedasking me to stop coming on the
property, and I ended up gettingarrested a few different times
for stealing food.
And so one night Keon and I werelike, we're gonna go to a
different neighborhood and tryto see what we can come up with.
(22:51):
I was going through cars.
I thought he was also goingthrough cars, but apparently he
was breaking into people'shouses.
He entered a woman's house andshe saw him and she called the
police.
And he did not tell me that thiswoman saw him or that, hey, we
should we should get out ofhere, basically.
He didn't say anything.
The police both arrive andtackle both of us, and um, we
(23:14):
ended up going to jail together.
Unfortunately, during the time Iwas delusional and it
strengthened our trauma bond, ifyou will.
You know, after you would thinkafter that, I would know you
need to leave this guy alone.
He's trouble, nothing good isgonna come of this.
You need to move on.
But again, being lonely anddesperate for somebody to
(23:36):
finally care about me.
SPEAKER_00 (23:38):
I understand this to a point where I never went after
the guys that I saw or thoughtwere like quote unquote better
than me.
And so I feel like I alwaysdated down.
And and to go after someone likelike that, like you don't feel
like what's the word?
Like you just don't feel worthy.
SPEAKER_01 (23:59):
Absolutely, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (24:01):
And then so you accept less than what you
deserve because you think thatthat's what you deserve.
SPEAKER_01 (24:09):
Absolutely, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (24:11):
But this, this lifestyle, when you were living
this, this is did you honestlythink that this is what you
deserved?
SPEAKER_01 (24:18):
No, I just I thought that I didn't deserve better in
some ways.
Like I knew I didn't deserve it,but then also at the same time,
it was like finally somebodywants to be around me, finally
somebody cares.
They say that they are alwaysgonna be there, and you settle
for people that you know aren'tany good for you because you
(24:41):
just are so desperate to beloved.
SPEAKER_00 (24:43):
Did he have a way that he was there?
unknown (24:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:47):
There was a lot of affection.
I feel like we did have a reallystrong bond for years.
We just life was crazy duringthat time frame.
Um, we were just reallystruggling to survive, and he
has an anger problem.
He's gets violent, he gets veryverbally abusive um at times.
(25:09):
And yeah.
How did you finally walk awayfrom he moved in with me and I
was paying to him to like be mysecurity guard.
So he would hang out in theother bedroom while I had
clients over, just so that Godforbid anything went wrong that
he was there to protect me.
(25:30):
Um, he just became verypossessive.
There was one night I woke up inthe middle of the night because
I'm smelling something, and I'mlike, what is that smell?
And I go in the kitchen and hehad taken apart this radio.
He had taken all the wiring outof it, and he was using a
lighter to melt the plastic offof the wires because he thought
(25:52):
he was gonna be able to turn inthe copper from the wires to get
money.
He also had three dogs at thetime, and the dogs ended up
getting in a fight one day.
The one dog got attacked prettybad, and essentially he let his
dog die in my living room andthen left the dog's body and
wouldn't even move it.
(26:13):
It was one night where I woke upbecause he was standing over me
going through my phone, and I'mlike, What are you doing?
And he was like, Why would youtext this person lol?
Why is that funny?
You think it's okay for you totext LOL to other guys?
And I was like, That's my cousinthat I was texting.
(26:34):
That's not some guy.
And he was like, sure, sure,sure.
Like, he didn't believe me.
Um, he got very belligerent.
He tried to put his hands on me,and I ended up just being able
to get in my car and leave.
I ended up telling his mom thathe had a drug problem.
That was like an ultimatebetrayal to him.
(26:56):
How dare you tell my mother I'mon drugs?
How dare she know the truthabout what a monster I really
am?
And how dare you tell her that Iput my hands on you all the
time, and how dare you tell herthat I use you for money.
And so that was basically theend of that.
SPEAKER_00 (27:13):
When we zoom out, what we see in Sarah's story
isn't just a string of badrelationships, it's a pattern
that lives inside of so manystories of domestic violence.
Sarah's life had taught her thatlove, it comes with pain.
That the people who say thatthey'll protect you will also be
(27:35):
the ones to hurt you.
And when that message is allthat you've ever known, you
start to mistake chaos forconnection.
She says that boyfriend B reallyjust depended on her to hold his
life together while hers was toput it simply falling apart.
(27:57):
And then when boyfriend C camealong, this next relationship
we're about to dive into, hepromised her something real,
something lasting.
He pursued her and convinced herthat she was finally worthy of
being chosen.
But the moment where she laughedthat she threatened his
(28:20):
masculinity, the smallest signof his confidence turned to
violence.
SPEAKER_01 (28:30):
We got reconnected later on, years later, and he
was like, you know, I'm readyfor something serious.
We should, we should betogether.
And I was like, Are you sure youwant this?
Because people keep telling methat they want to be with me,
and then it ends up super crazyand terrible.
And he's like, No, like I'mreally serious.
(28:51):
Like we can we can do this.
So I'm like, okay.
We ended up going to NewOrleans.
Uh we went from Mardi Gras.
The trip was good, um, until itwasn't.
I don't even really rememberwhat we were arguing about.
We were arguing about somethingin the hotel room.
All I remember is that I laughedat him, and that's what made him
(29:11):
attack me was me laughing athim.
He was trying to choke me andbeat me in the hotel room.
I was able to get out of hisgrasp.
I ran out of the hotel barefoot.
I had left all of like mysuitcase, all my stuff in the
room, didn't care.
I was ready to get away fromhim.
I was tired of being abused, andI was tired of accepting that
(29:34):
these men thought it was okayfor them to put their hands on
me, and I knew that I didn'tdeserve that.
I knew I was a good person.
I knew that it was unreasonablefor them to be angry enough to
put their hands on me.
SPEAKER_00 (29:49):
For Sarah, this isn't just one cycle of abuse.
It was literally everywhere inher life.
In her relationships.
Yeah.
But also in her work where menused her body and her
vulnerability in her home life,where her mother's help came
with control and betrayal.
(30:12):
And in the court system whereher ex-husband, a man who once
sworn to protect, still usedpower to punish.
SPEAKER_01 (30:22):
So every time the judge would set a custody
agreement, we would leave courtand I would, you know, I would
think, okay, well, I get Monday,Wednesday, Friday, and then we
switch every week.
Every time I would go to pick upmy kids, he would either be
several hours late.
He would leave me sitting inparking lots waiting for hours,
(30:44):
show up super late or not showup at all when I figured out
where they were living.
I would show up at their house.
You know, today's my day to seethe kids.
You need to let me have them.
And he would be like, Well, callthe police if you want to.
And then I would call the policeand they would say, ma'am, this
is a civil matter.
If you want to see your kids,you're gonna have to take him
back to court for custody again.
(31:05):
And I'm like, I've been takinghim to court for custody for
over two years now.
I didn't see my kids for about ayear and a half during our
custody battle.
And then once I started seeingthem again, he would just dangle
them over my head.
Oh yeah, you get these daysbecause the judge said so.
And then when it was my turn tohave them, he would rip the rug
(31:27):
out from under me and ha ha,just kidding.
And it was a really funny joketo him and his new girlfriend.
He would show up to court forour custody hearings in his
police officer uniform, and hewould stand with his hands
behind his back like he's justthis respectable citizen and
servant of the city.
And he would tell them that Iwas a drug addict and I was a
(31:48):
prostitute, and he would printout pictures of me from and be
like, see, she's clearlyderanged, she doesn't deserve
these kids.
Um, she's a terrible person.
I just continue to pour my heartout to the judge and say, sir,
I've been through some things.
Yes.
Am I proud of my profession?
Absolutely not.
(32:08):
But if that doesn't show youthat I will literally do
anything to get my kids back,then I don't know what else
will.
Because I'm literally selling mysoul to come up with the money,
to pay my lawyer, and have aplace to live so that I can get
my kids back.
And so eventually the judgestarted to see through all of
his lies.
(32:29):
He saw the real me that was justbegging to just be a mother and
begging to have my kids back.
And I wish that he would havesupported me a little bit more,
but he decided that 50-50custody was fair.
SPEAKER_00 (32:45):
Over these last four episodes, we've watched a
pattern take shape.
Different men, different faces,but the same kind of power.
The same cycle that pulled Sarahin broke her down, and then
forced her to start over againand again.
(33:06):
And just like in a courtroom,patterns matter.
They tell the judge what'sreally happening beneath the
surface, who's trying to change,and who's just changing tactics.
That pattern is what broughtSarah here to the place where
she finally thought she'd seenthe worst of it, but she hadn't.
(33:30):
Because everything that you'veheard so far, every betrayal,
every promise, every bruise thatfaded, was only preparing her
for the man that she is runningfrom today.
And next week, we meet him.
The man who would become thereason that Sarah has to keep
looking over her shoulder.
Even now, with him behind bars.
(33:53):
And if Sarah's story moved you,please, please share this
episode.
Stories like hers deserve to beheard, not dismissed.
You can find a link to Sarah'sGoFundMe in the show notes below
if you'd like to help herrebuild her life in safety.
Every share, every donation,every small act of support helps
(34:15):
make that possible.
And if you'd like to leave Saraha message, a few words of
encouragement, or what herstrength has meant to you, you
can call the Dismissed TrueStories voicemail line at
1-844-TELL-DTS.
And some of your messages may befeatured in future episodes.
(34:38):
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for showing up.
And thank you for helping usremind survivors everywhere that
their stories matter.
Because today, and like in everyepisode before, we're breaking
the silence.
One sentence, one story, and oneepisode at a time.
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