November 16, 2023 • 52 mins
Disney World One Star Reviews 2023
Lately, we’ve been seeing a lot of posts on social media with hilarious one-star reviews visitors have left for some of America’s most popular and stunning national parks. That got us thinking - what do reviewers on popular sites like tripadvisor.com have to say about the Walt Disney World Resort? The results are definitely a mixed bag. Some of them are hilarious, some of them are infuriating, and most of them have at least a little bit of the truth tucked in between the unreadable spelling errors and major entitlement issues. While most of the complaints are just so ridiculous they’re funny, the legitimate concerns could be fixed by either doing some research (or even better, book with a travel advisor like the experts at Key to the World Travel!), or learning to manage expectations and remember that you’re not the only person hoping to have the perfect Disney vacation.
Join Dan and Jeff as they share their favorite bottom-of-the-barrel reviews for The Most Magical Place On Earth, as well as some great tips on how to avoid making the same mistakes as these disgruntled reviewers.
As always, a huge thank you to our sponsor, Key to the World Travel. For all your travel needs, Key to the World's expert travel advisors are standing by. Make sure you tell them the Gold Key Adventurers sent you!
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Thanks to Outer Vibe for the use of their song Hoka Hey off of the album Hoka Hey as the intro and outro of our show. For tour dates, merch, music and more, check them out at www.outervibe.com.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Music.
(01:07):
Welcome back to another meeting of the Gold Key Adventurer Society.
My name is Dan Leonard. Hi Dan. And joining me this week in the studio is the one, the only, Mr.
Jeff Williams. What, what? Hey, that's me. It sure is.
Our show, as always, is brought to you by Key to the World Travel.
(01:27):
Key to the World Travel is a full -service travel agency specializing in theme
parks, Cruising destinations around the world head to,
www .gatortheworldtravel .com for more details and a no obligation quote on
the vacation of a lifetime Dan that might have been your peppiest read of our intro yet. I like it.
(01:48):
Mid sentence I decided I was going to try for like a Morning zoo kind of feel I like it.
It needs more like bicycle horn honks though I'll have those in post.
Yeah I will never do this. Let it go. Oh yeah. Well, um.
(02:09):
So if you've seen this every so often on social media, we get,
we get these posts where they share and it's all one star Yelp reviews of some
of America's most popular national parks. Oh yeah. Yeah.
That started going around the, around the interwebs lately. Here's a couple of ones that I.
(02:29):
Closest pop -up ad. Badlands National Park.
Have you ever been to the Badlands? I have not, but I am familiar with it.
It's in Western South Dakota there.
And the one -star review says, you lose cell service because you're in Nowhere, USA.
(02:50):
Yeah. Yeah. It's the Badlands.
Right. It's in the name.
Bruce Springsteen wasn't writing about it because it's urban.
Right. Or this one -star review of Carlsbad Caverns National Park in New Mexico.
Unless you find big caves and rocks overwhelmingly fascinating,
(03:11):
skip this one. Skip it! Yeah.
Yeah, who would have thought a big cavern would be just a cave?
Right. Although I kind of agree with him. I've been to some of our national,
our state cave parks here, and I get in there and I'm like, yep,
big old hole in the ground.
Right. Yeah, I get it.
Ooh, or in Hawaii, Haleakala National Park? I believe it's Haleakala. Sure.
(03:38):
You're the native Hawaiian speaker. You can... That's right.
Yes. So the review on this one says, do yourself a favor and just Google pretty
sunrise and save yourself the disappointment.
Now I have done that experience before when I was a kid. Everybody would come to visit Hawaii.
We would go up to the Haleakala and watch the sunrise. And you got to get up
(04:01):
at one in the morning to traipse up there and do it. But it is fabulous.
Even as a little kid, I could appreciate it. So this guy's a loser.
Yeah, I mean, I can't imagine being disappointed by.
Probably very many views at all. I mean like you're up above the cloud level
looking down on the sun rising like through the clouds. Majestic.
(04:24):
It's really pretty incredible in the middle of paradise. You know,
some, some people are just not into anything, right? Yeah, that's the problem.
Yeah. So I saw these posts popped up a few days ago and it got me thinking,
got me wondering what kind of one star reviews would we find for Walt Disney world? Yelp.
And it's a little bit bleak to be honest. Some of them, some of them are really funny.
(04:47):
Some of them are kind of infuriating. Most of them have a little bit of truth
tucked somewhere in between the
unreadable spelling errors or the major entitlement issues of the guests.
Also, I kind of noticed that the most of them fall into at least one of three main categories.
People are upset because either they needed to do some research before they
(05:08):
went or even better, book with the travel advisor.
Number two, they need to learn to temper their expectation. And number three,
some of them are, to be honest, valid complaints that we've addressed before.
In a recent episode, prices keep going up and the perceived perks,
the value for that money kind of keeps getting degraded.
So I thought maybe this week we could take a look at some of the best examples,
(05:30):
laugh at the inscrutable grammar and talk about the simple things that we could
do to fix the perspective or the experience for these people and turn the one
-star review into five stars.
And I am hoping, and I believe when they say that a lot of these kinds of things
that people are complaining about are going to be fixed in 24.
(05:52):
There's a real push towards fixing a lot of the issues with some of the perceived
value and what you get for it, as well as the app itself is.
You know, being tweaked. So I'm very hopeful for the future.
They have had a rough few years here.
Yeah, they have. I mean, they've even just recently dropped some improvements
to things like the experience of booking dining. Yep.
(06:15):
That that are going to be really nice. So hopefully that continues over with
some of the other guests experience.
I want to start off with a one star review. Read to me, Uncle Dan.
You want me to sit on your lap?
Through the magic of the internet, sure. As long as you stay firmly in Alabama.
(06:36):
Let me put the lotion in the basket first.
All right, this is the worst hotel review I could find for Walt Disney World Hotel Trip Advisor.
One star, never again. Wish I could give zero stars.
Absolutely awful from start to end. The check -in line was so atrociously long
that we waited almost an hour before we got to the counter.
(06:57):
I couldn't help but notice that housekeeping was woefully understaffed or just
plain terrible at their jobs as the whole place was covered in cobwebs and dust.
The bellboys were absolutely obnoxious when trying to catch the lift to our rooms.
They were always hovering for tips I assume, but they couldn't even bother with
a simple smile and their attempt at conversation was macabre at best.
(07:18):
If you thought housekeeping was bad, maintenance was worse. Clearly they were
having electrical issues as the lights kept flickering and don't even bother taking the elevators.
After that experience, I didn't even bother staying the night for fear of what
the rooms are like. Overall, disgusting and unsafe hotel.
That is amazing. Let me guess, the Hollywood hotel.
(07:38):
That's right. Yes, that was a review for the Hollywood Tower Hotel.
That's fantastic. That's so clever. Yeah, I enjoyed that.
And that's going to be the most delightful one. Was that submitted by Dan Leonard?
No, I wish I was that clever. Yeah, I wish you were too. I think our listeners wish you were.
(08:01):
I'm just going to start back at the top of my list now. One star review for
Indiana Jones stunt spectacular.
This one I just thought was funny. Waste of time, long wait,
and finally they showed the five minute show, which anyone can do.
You don't need to come to Disney to see this terrible.
Anybody, just anybody off the street can do what they do in that. Yeah, exactly. Right.
(08:24):
I see that in my street racing around my neighborhood all the time.
And then the German mechanic comes out and they… Airplanes and… Yeah.
And who among us doesn't have a 600 -pound rock ball they can run away from just here at the house?
(08:45):
I wish. I actually would involve that in my fitness routine.
Push that ball up to the hill and then run down and let it chase me.
I've found a funny one for the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train ride,
and there's snippets from it are just so funny and so uneducated. What?
(09:06):
80 minutes for that? If you have little kids, okay, maybe, but this is not a
ride any self -respecting thrill seeker should be waiting for. Way way way overhyped.
I love many of the rides in Disney, I appreciate the artistry,
I know it's not all about big drops, but this is a kiddie runaway train ride
all about the dwarfs, which very few kids are even into.
(09:28):
I mean, where is Snow White? That's the end of the thing.
Well, she's at the end of the ride, but it is called the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train.
So the fact that it's a runaway train ride all about the dwarfs should not be lost on this guy.
Right. And this is one of those, this is one of those reviews.
I found several of these too, where they're complaining and they give it one
(09:51):
star, but all of their complaints are exactly what the attraction is supposed to be. Yeah.
Nobody said it was going to be top speed dragster, you know,
some sort of over the top roller coaster.
And that ride, you can walk around it and see several of the drops and turns
to see it's, you know, it's a runaway cart ride, kind of like big thunder or whatever.
(10:15):
It shouldn't have been a surprise. And the description when the ride height
is only 38 inches or whatever, that's a good indicator. I should give it away.
Yeah, I had a similar one for rock and roller coaster One star not for everyone.
I absolutely hated this ride. It goes from 0 to 60 in about 3 seconds There
(10:37):
are many twists and turns and loops that made me feel sick by the end of the ride.
I would never ride again So it's a roller coaster It goes fast Around it goes
up and down hills and you flip upside down I thought it would be more like a dark ride, I guess.
I forgot the closing line of
(10:59):
the seven dwarfs review I just talked about was, hi ho, how about hi no?
So the guy is a jerk, but that's pretty clever. Yeah, I had a similar,
I had a good clever line on this one here.
Here's a one star review for the Hoop -dee -doo Magic, Hoop -dee -doo Musical Review.
(11:23):
And the headline is, one star, Hoop -dee -don't.
Oh, I hate that. I love that show so much. Yeah. Well, and here's some highlights.
I'll tell you the kind of person who is enjoying this. Again,
this is one of those ones where maybe do a little bit of checking on what a
show or an attraction is about because not everything is made for everybody to enjoy.
(11:44):
Wait, are you saying that people as humans like different things?
I know, it's shocking. We're all supposed to be the same and yet we're different.
How can anyone like this show? Are the positive reviews from people who never
have anything bad to say about anything?
I consider our family of average sophistication. My wife and I like the blue
collar comedy tour. Yeah.
(12:06):
My girls are six and 10 for comedy. They like Zack and Cody and Hannah Montana.
They also hated the hoop to do review.
There aren't enough cute boys. So Oh, the food was just okay.
Most of the men were there for the unlimited beer and wine.
Sadly, it was light beer, which to me isn't beer at all.
(12:28):
You're eating, you're eating all that fat and carbs yet drinking beer flavored water to save calories.
What? I think they have a few you can choose from even I don't know.
I don't actually remember but that's a weird one. Yeah.
I could see that. Maybe the hokum isn't for everybody of that show, but I don't know.
(12:51):
Yeah. Oh and he ends with saying if you grew up liking hee -haw,
this is probably the show for you. Yeah, I could see that and I did.
So I like cheesy hokum like that. And I, I, I feel bad for people that can't let go.
And although I will admit, I was, I was reticent to go to it till I was.
(13:12):
Someone bought tickets for me to go and I wound up loving it.
So I will say that I thought, Oh, that's going to be cheesy.
Cause I had seen the Hula show. Aloha show.
They used to have Luau show. And I did not really care for that one,
because I have been to real ones in Hawaii and thought the family and Ohana
overlay of that one was kind of bad. But I love Hoop.
(13:35):
Yeah, I mean, I really appreciate his idea that his standard for sophistication
is the Blue Collar Comedy Show. Yeah, I'm pretty sophisticated.
I'm into the Blue Collar Comedy Show.
I like this one. And you just can't please some people with all of the amazing
animatronics and technology and stuff that we have.
(13:55):
This is a one -star review of Frozen Ever After.
I was disappointed in this ride, but that's probably because they didn't change
it much from what it used to be before it was revamped to just be a tourist
trap for people who like Frozen. The ride is called Frozen.
Well it's certainly packed full of robots now. The track is the same from what I remember.
(14:19):
There used to be a troll at the end, but now it's just an abominable snowman.
You still find yourself sailing backward at one point. I don't know what I expected.
Maybe for them to build something new and not just re -skin an existing ride. Shame on me, I guess.
I mean, sure. It was only closed for like four months or something.
Right. That's what you can do. But in New Robots.
(14:41):
To be honest, the ride's fine. It is fine. It's not a headlight.
And especially for little kids that love Frozen, that is exactly as billed.
Yeah, again, not everything is for everybody. And everybody always acts like
the thing they took out was the most amazing thing.
Like Maelstrom was fine, but if you like, you know, oil derricks and trolls,
(15:02):
you know, maybe you miss that. But it was never that great.
It was always something good to do and cool off, but then everybody would blow
past the historical film about the actual beautiful country of Norway.
So nobody watched that anyway. Right.
Yeah. I, the, the nostalgia factor is weird there.
And actually where's, Oh, let me find it. I've got one that,
(15:25):
oh yeah, there it is. I titled these to make it easier to find.
One star review not worth the money. I have no idea why people enjoy Disney
parks these days. When I was a kid, these played fun.
There was lots to do and it felt like you couldn't get it all done in a day.
Now these parks are just filled with people wandering around from line to line
while they get ripped off all day. Guess what?
(15:47):
That's what it was like when you were a kid. Yeah. You were a kid, so you were having fun.
You didn't have the stress of being the parent trying to make sure that your
kid had fun. And you didn't pay for it. Your dad did or whoever.
Exactly. Yeah. this the lines were probably worse back in the day because there
was no lightning lane or genies or,
any kind of fast pass system and fewer attractions yeah far fewer right it's
(16:11):
just more and more people now because it's funny as it's gotten more expensive
more people are actually affording to go so everybody cries about how expensive
it is but yet they you know in the same sentence they're Like,
they've priced out the common man. And also, why is it so crowded?
I've been there. These are not the elite people walking around in the parks.
(16:33):
No. These are people that you're not going to be able to price out because they're
going to go into crippling debt no matter what the interest cost is. Yes, this is America.
Right. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, if they limit the number of people they let in, then they're just going
to raise the prices more so that they don't make less money.
This is actually a two -star review, but I thought the line was funny.
(16:56):
This is about a little ride called the Haunted Mansion.
He said, this was really just a nice ride through spider webs,
ghosts, ghouls, and goblins.
A few scary thrills on the way, I guess.
Yeah. That's, again, exactly as Bill.
I mean, it's not meant to be Halloween Horror Nights. What did you expect?
(17:17):
At a family park. What's with all the spiderwebs, ghosts, and ghouls in here?
Haunted mansion. Yeah.
Flight of Passage, one star, get ready, nerds. If you love standing in line
for three, three plus hours with thousands of your friends you've never met,
then this is the ride for you.
(17:37):
Once inside, get ready for more magic as you queue up on your number as a guy
on the screen who looks like Kramer from Seinfeld instructs you about what comes next.
The ride itself will last approximately three minutes. Afterwards,
you'll be in such shock and awe that you ask yourself, what just happened here?
Did I just spend half my day that I paid 500 bucks for to experience that?
(17:57):
It's been almost a month now since my family visited, and I'm still shaking
my head about spending so much money for so little fun together as a family.
I really just can't, I can't fathom how these people aren't having fun.
Yes, it's expensive and all that, but I don't know. I think people need to relax.
Yeah. And I think a lot of these are, they get home and they look at how much
(18:21):
money they spent or they,
but in the moment it seems like they're always having fun because lots of these
people attach photos to their reviews and they're all full of people with their
smiles on their faces and they appear to be having the most wonderful time ever
and then they get home and yeah,
I guess they fire up Yelp when that credit card bill comes.
(18:42):
You must be right. Yeah, I think that's what it is.
This is a line from two star one and a half, excuse me, star review of pirates
of the Caribbean. And excuse me, yo ho, hold up.
That's a long line for a slow moving boat cruise through scenes of animatronics
(19:04):
playing where's Jack Sparrow, not a terrible escape though, if it's hot outside.
It's like one of the most classic beloved rides of the entire parks.
(19:25):
And one is available at every single one of the parks worldwide.
This guy's like, I mean, I guess if you like robot pirates.
What were these people expecting? I don't know. It's like they've never seen
a dark ride or something.
Maybe they're used to Six Flags where everything's a coaster or something.
I guess, but people know what, I mean, Pirates of the Caribbean is.
(19:50):
I don't know. I don't get it.
Oh, and a lot of people complain that all this is, is a bunch of robots.
That's my favorite. That's that's a running theme through several of these.
Like all they did was spend a gazillion dollars of R &D to develop the most
amazing animatronics available anywhere in the world.
(20:10):
That's all it is. Yeah.
Or Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. I think this is very boring.
Nothing to look at the entire time.
Have they not tried the goat trick? I mean, the entire thing is jam packed with
props and gags and right.
So much that I'm still seeing something new every time I write it.
(20:32):
And if nothing else, you got beautiful views of the parks around every turn
when you're up high and can, boy, have you ridden that thing at either park,
Disneyland or Disney world? Have you ridden that during fireworks?
Yeah. And that is special.
Yeah, that is phenomenal. It's not easy to time it out, but if you manage it, then it is.
(20:53):
Yeah, it's a little bit more intense at Disneyland because it's closer to where
they fire the fireworks from, because it's kind of back behind the castle there.
Disneyland is positioned a little closer to where the fireworks go off,
but it's pretty amazing either way.
They're right over your head. So all those fireworks that look like they're
over the castle when you're watching from Main Street are really more over Big Thunder. Right. Yeah.
(21:18):
Yeah, it's phenomenal. I wish I next time I go to Disneyland,
I've got to try to make that happen.
You know, I was thinking finally something to look at while I'm on this boring ride.
Yeah. Besides the dinosaur bones and wheels and steam and explosions and dynamite
and goats and animatronics. Everything else. Yeah.
(21:40):
It's jam -packed with stuff, but nothing to see here, folks.
To see here space mountain while we're on attraction still.
Oh, this is just the last line is the best bet.
Waited in line for an hour and a half for space mountain it broke down and we
did not receive proper guidance on when it would be fixed very disappointed
(22:03):
in walt and the disney family.
They were sitting around smoking pickled cigs designing that one themselves,
that's funny this one is this line is also from space mountain did you know
that it only goes 35 miles per hour and the max drop is only 26 feet. This is a small coaster.
(22:29):
I do always feel like I'm going to get decapitated though.
Yes, to both of those. Yeah. That is a, what do they call that?
A caged mouse or something, that type of ride. So it's real tight turns.
You're going pretty slow, but it feels like you're going a thousand miles an hour in there.
Yeah. Especially at Disneyland. I couldn't think to myself, there's no way this is safe, but it is. Yeah.
(22:57):
Yeah. Especially at Disneyland. It feels a lot faster there.
Yeah. And it's got a nice smooth, they rounded out some of the turns and stuff.
I think the, I think, I don't know this for sure, but I think the track at Disney
world is the same one it's always been.
Yeah, they just keep on repairing it and adding more breaks to it to make you
go slower and slower. And it's not a toboggan style at Disneyland.
(23:22):
It's a side by side, normal modern coaster.
And I don't know if when it opened, if it was toboggan style and they widened it or what.
I could have researched that. If only there was a Google.
If only i'm trying
to see if there's any more attractions i have on here i have
some that are related to attractions because there's
(23:45):
a lot of misunderstanding with the
lightning lanes and i really enjoyed this this one here one star frozen in time
experience whoever is responsible for allowing people on the ride needs to be
castrated wow it was a horrible ass wait instead of advancing the line like
(24:05):
someone with an IQ above 10,
they decided to only keep letting the fast pass people in, which made the wait over two hours.
Whoever you are, you suck.
Wow, that is very specific and pretty extreme. I feel like that person might need a hobby.
Yeah, maybe. Are we really castrating people anymore these days?
(24:26):
Not in the United States that I'm aware of.
Yeah, the fast pass thing and
genie and lightning lane seems to be a real trend on these low reviews.
Yeah, this one too, one star. We did not purchase the lightning pass because
you can only use it on a minimum of rides and two to three times a day.
We did the Cali Rapids and stayed at 45 minute wait time, ended up being 75
(24:50):
minutes, et cetera, et cetera.
There's a lot of misunderstanding. And part of that is to be honest the way
Disney words things because they want to I don't know be Not clear.
They want to cover their self up front just in case you don't get like six lightning
lane things in a day, right?
Yeah They sort of bill it as you could ride two to three attractions But really
(25:12):
if you do it, right you can ride five or six depending on the day Now,
yeah, if you're there on a day when Cali River Rapids is 75 minutes and you
I mean, it's just crowded Right.
I've never ever seen that ride that long.
It's crowded and it's the hottest day of the summer or something. Yeah.
We went on July 4th and I could only ride eight rides. I don't know what happened.
(25:39):
This one's a little bit long, but the punchline has to do with that. So never again.
We went in September as we were told it was slow season and additionally picked
a day that was listed as light crowds on multiple crowd calendars.
And I believe that either most people don't know what slow means or that these
blogs deliberately leave off the phrase for Disney. Well.
(26:01):
We might have been fine with the number of people, but we're constantly getting
ran by Paris, not watching out with their strollers.
The slow day, every ride had over 100 minute wait for the majority of the day.
And the rides that did eventually drop down in 15 minutes for the carousel of
progress and the people mover.
We were only able to ride one ride on our must do list, the Haunted Mansion,
right before the park closed.
So here's the punchline, though.
(26:23):
Also, I can't necessarily pin this on Disney, we're giving them a one -star
review, but it's not their fault because half the park was closed for the day
because a bear got into the park. Oh, yeah.
Jack might explain the horrid wait times that day.
Yes. We won't be going to the Magic Kingdom again, even though we just acknowledged
that it's because the bear got into the park and closed everything down.
Which clearly is a once in a million thing to happen.
(26:46):
Right. So it should probably be the thing that you base your decision to never
go back. I'll never go there again because I think I will never eat at this
restaurant again because a car crashed through the window of the place when I was there.
Right. My meal had glass in it, sir.
A lot of people just don't quite get that times have changed too.
(27:09):
This is a one star review, the headline of which is not worth it anymore.
My first time at Walt Disney World was in the 1970s.
Oh, sorry. Sorry, my last time at Walt Disney World was in the 1970s.
I know that was a long time ago, but our tickets were $12.
I have been many, oh no, I have been many times since then, but today's prices are outrageous.
(27:31):
Not worth it. Many of the rides and shows are even still the same as they were
when I went in the 70s. Yeah. Yeah.
It's a classic. Yeah. But then this is the same kind of person that's going
to get mad because they didn't have the ride he loved in the 70s.
So it goes to show. You cannot win with folks if you change things.
They don't like that if you keep them the same. Why didn't you change it?
(27:54):
Yeah Exactly It's very disrespectful from Disney's part to charge 148 per person
per day plus make us wait 95 minutes for each ride Once we were almost close
to the ride Disney decides to cancel the ride in three different instances,
Yeah, I bet they just made that decision randomly, right?
(28:15):
I just like it's they're disrespecting you by making you wait in line.
I don't know. Happiest place on earth. My ass is the headline of this one.
Feel reluctant to write this review. However, in the hope, it may improve things
for future guests. I feel the need to do so.
(28:36):
It just goes on to cry about everything. Wait times and genie and everything
else. But I did think that was kind of funny.
Happiest place on earth. My ass.
I mean, it's not that's Disneyland, right? Get it right.
This is the most magical place on his ass, apparently. Right.
(28:58):
I appreciated the hypocrisy in the opening line of this review.
Alcohol in a children's park? Where's the smoking areas?
Oh, yeah. It's pissed that they're selling booze in the Magic Kingdom,
but also pissed that you can't smoke in the Magic Kingdom.
I saw several of them talking about like there's nowhere to smoke at all in
(29:18):
the parks. And I guess that would be a drag.
I haven't smoked since they actually really, since I started going to Disney,
I did used to smoke, but there used to be smoking areas all around the parks
and they were disgusting.
Honestly, like there was one that was right near where you would wait in at
the old spot where you would get dull whips.
(29:38):
There was a smoking section right next to that. So you're in a long line for
a dull whip, just breathing in 35 smokers, secondhand smoke.
I don't miss that, but it is far.
You have to go all the way out of the parks and down by the river to have a cigarette.
So I think I would do like most people and have a vape in there that I snuck.
(30:02):
The words expressed here, by
the way, are not condoned by Key to the World Travel. That's right. Never.
Unless we're telling you to get a travel agent like some of these people needed
to do like this one. my first worst Disney experience.
Where do I begin? I reserved a room at the Polynesian using Disney's centralized booking system.
I then tried to book dining by calling their 800 number, but because the wait
(30:27):
time was a whole 30 minutes, I tried to send a simple email.
Well, yeah, and then he's mad that they didn't book his dining form via email
because that's not how the system works. That's not how that works. Yeah.
Dear Disney World, I want to eat there.
To whom it may concern, break me, fix my dining room.
(30:52):
The open table didn't work, so I sent a carrier pigeon. I don't know what happened. It didn't work.
This is waste of time and a lot, in capital letters, of money.
We came all the way from New Zealand to come to Disney World, all one word.
As had been told, it was so much better than L .A. Disneyland, two words.
I completely disagree. They let way too many people into the parks,
(31:15):
the cost is unjustifiable,
and get this, we had four rides shut down after waiting for nearly an hour,
and there were no apologies from the staff, just free FastPasses.
So all they did was give him a FastPass to any other ride he wanted, all four times.
But he didn't get an apology. I think the FastPass was the apology.
(31:39):
Yes, exactly. But I was almost with them on some of those things.
I mean, but I mean, yes, it's expensive and yes, to all of those things, but I don't know.
If you want them to spend the 60 billion they've promised to spend in the next
five years on the parks, they're gonna have to make the money. Right.
(32:00):
10th circle of hell. People who pretend they like it here are lying.
That's not hyperbole at all. No.
If you want a similar experience for less, I recommend having your car towed
at 2 a .m. and then going to the impound.
You'll see the same type of crowds have shorter wait times, receive more polite
service, have cleaner bathrooms and get more and healthier food options.
(32:24):
Wow. This one is very succinct.
Overrated, overpriced, overwoke, and I'm over it.
That's the whole review. Yeah. And the woke thing keeps on popping up in newer reviews, too.
Yeah. One star, this woke company Disney has destroyed itself,
(32:48):
charging for rides and the app. They want to change our kids.
They made an awful Indiana Jones 5 movie. Disney is dead in its current.
One of these things is not like the other. These people just want to yell about Disney.
They keep on saying these things that I don't think that they could even explain
to you what they mean. Indy 5? Can you believe they had the nerve to make a
(33:09):
woman one of the main characters?
We all know that women aren't capable of, yeah, I did, I, they're not even funny
anymore. They go woke, go broke.
I got a couple of those, but they're just, I know they're so irritating because
no one can even really describe what I can't find it now. But it was talking
about how Disney has gone so woke.
(33:32):
If I wanted to see a cowboy with pierced ears, I'd go somewhere else or something,
you know, something like that. like talking about this, the cast members can
have facial hair now, or a pierced ear or a tattoo.
And like, you know, I keep reading stuff like that about how it takes me out
of the magic. When I see that it's like, you mean when you see modern humans
(33:55):
being right, human, but also did you really think you were in the old West?
Cause in the fifties and sixties and seventies, These people at Disney parks
looked like people from the 50s, 60s, and 70s. They just did.
Yeah. Yeah. That's so frustrating. The whole, how many times have you seen the
(34:17):
magic is gone or Walt would be rolling in his grave?
No, he wouldn't. Walt's cryogenically frozen head is doing just fine in its cylinder.
That's right. This person really didn't understand the point of Epcot, I think.
In fact, they say that at all. I do not understand this park at all,
(34:38):
and I'm quite disappointed they spent two hours at this park during the full
day I spent out at Disney World.
First of all, if you're trying to get the complete Disney experience in one
day… A full day! Two hours at each park.
Basically, you enter the park and they have an area with a few space rides and test track.
There's a stage before you enter the rest of the park, which is a big circle
(34:59):
of little areas that are themed based on different countries.
At the different countries, all they have is small shops for gifts and a few restaurants and bars.
I will say, the way each country and the shops, bars, and restaurants for the
country were decorated was beautiful.
It was clear that a lot of effort was taken to make the areas of the countries
look authentic, and that is the park.
Basically, you pay the price of admission to Epcot and then go spend money to
(35:23):
eat, drink, and buy gifts.
Yes. I think you summed it up, buddy. Right.
Somebody owes you some money for writing their brochure for them,
because... Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, this wasn't anything but a permanent World's Fair. Oh, wait.
Yes. Actually, I did see one that said exactly that. Oh, really?
(35:44):
Yeah, that's literally what he wanted. Right.
Right. But it's funny, because the World's Fair, I guess they don't even wonder
when they stopped doing those. but that used to be the thing.
Here's all the modern future marvels and here's cultures from around the world.
And each country that hosted it would show off their modern marvels or their
(36:05):
look at the future. It was exactly what Epcot is.
People flocked from all over the world to see, and they still do.
And when you got to those things, you paid to ride little rides, see displays.
I don't know. I don't know what people want. I saw one complaining that Disney
was racist because the Morocco pavilion looked like desert castle where you
(36:27):
would see camels and stuff.
And they're like, where's the modern cities? Where's the actual culture?
So I was like, this is the most authentic of the pavilions because the country
of Morocco themselves built it, sent their own designers and artisans over.
Materials and everything. Of course, we've since run them out of there and now
there's nothing at all to see or do in there, but that's a topic of another podcast.
(36:54):
Right. Epcot Food and Wine Fest.
Don't expect to be able to try a variety of food without overpaying.
If you're seeking to try good food and wine from around the world, look elsewhere.
So the food at food and wine averages about $5 for each of those little selections.
Yeah, but if you want to eat 35 plates of food, Dan, that's going to cost you.
(37:18):
I mean, the amount of food that's still reasonable compared to what you'd pay
for it at a restaurant. I agree.
I think the, I mean, the festivals to me, they all run together and I've complained
about that myself before, but the food and all those things is pretty great
and a pretty good value still right.
(37:38):
Disney Springs, nothing special,
not recommended unless you want to go and spend money. Yes, it is a mall.
It is a great big shopping mall with restaurants and shops. That's what you do.
That's that's how it's built. Even right. It was purpose built for that to keep
the Brazilian and European shoppers from going to the outlet mall nearby.
(38:00):
Right. This guest from the UK was very upset about the pricing and he closes
his one star review by saying such a disappointment.
I'll never go again. Save your money and go somewhere more inviting. Try Ukraine.
She'd say that this was written in September of 2022. So, oh,
(38:20):
that didn't age well at all. No. Yeah.
He's got some very strong feelings, apparently. This is a straight up lie here.
Paid almost $2 ,500 in tickets to just a few parks. That's, you know,
that's kind of what it is.
I had a child with a disability that needed the space that my enormous,
(38:42):
I added the word enormous, wagon provided.
They forced me to rent a park stroller, which was poorly built and hard as a
rock, which made things worse. but then I saw dozens of other wagons just like
mine after just walking around the park all willy -nilly.
When I went to customer relations office, they actually laughed at my child's
(39:04):
disability, sad and sick. Now that just did not happen.
That did not happen. Absolutely not. They do.
They go out of their way still to make sure that differently abled people have
the right access and the easiest time there.
I, there's no way in hell that actually happened. And I hate to see that because
someone's going to believe it.
(39:24):
Well, and they do. That is the only way you can bring those stroller wagons
in is if you have legitimate Medical need for them.
They will make exceptions to the wagon Yeah, and I've never seen dozens of those
enormous wagons willy -nilly.
I do see occasionally I'm like how'd they get that in here because it's not
they're not supposed to be in there But I do see them from time to time but
(39:47):
never dozens and they're certainly not willy -nilly Right.
No Somebody just wasn't paying attention or didn't know us when they fold it
up. It can be hard to tell Yeah, that's probably it.
Yeah, probably folds up where they can pull it in suitcase style or something. Right.
We decided to go to Hollywood Studios in disguise as a family because it was Halloween.
When we were already inside the park, a worker approached us to tell us we could
(40:10):
not wear masks with a costume.
I think it's ridiculous that on Halloween they don't allow you to wear your full Disney costume.
If only it said that on all of the literature and ticketing. Right.
Then we see Disney defending freedom of expression, but we can't wear our masks. Oh, Lord. Yeah.
(40:31):
And they're defending it by having these mustachioed men everywhere.
Right. I wanted to see a cowboy with pierced ears.
I'd go somewhere else. OK, where exactly would you go? I don't know.
A gay country and Western bar, I don't know. Which actually sounds pretty fun, too. Right. Yeah.
(40:57):
This nutcase just hates scooters.
Disney has got to stop giving those damn scooter cars to every lazy fat that
wants to zip around cutting off walking pedestrians.
This is the most obese country in the world and Disney only encourages sloth and gluttony.
Only doctor prescribed scooter. Wow.
(41:20):
He's got some feelings and they're strong. I so I have no issue with people needing a scooter.
I've been with people that need a scooter for various reasons,
a broken toe or whatever the issue is fine.
The thing I will complain about with scooters is that when people are on them,
they act like they're in a sealed vehicle and they're no longer a human being.
(41:42):
They can't just tap your shoulders. Say, excuse me, could I get by?
They honk at you like, no, you're a person.
Right. Just say, excuse me, or you can, you know, your arms and all working
fine. You could just tap me and say, excuse me, because I don't see you down there. I'm sorry.
I just don't. Or that could slow it down a second.
Yeah. And the way they really, even those, the ones that they ran out at Disney
(42:04):
world, those are governored and they're still pretty fast.
Yeah. But the, some of the ones that people bring in that are their own,
I think those things go like 45 miles an hour. Right.
Yeah. Like I'm sorry that you can't get around as well, but that doesn't mean
you should get to go 30 miles an hour down Main Street.
That does sound kind of fun. Oh yeah. In an empty park, I'd love to have a scooter race.
(42:30):
Oh yes. How can we make that happen? I mean, we know where to rent scooters. Yep.
And we know how to stay very late. But it's so crowded.
No one told me there would be other people here. I will say if you if you were
going to Disney thinking you're gonna get the experience from their commercials
You think it's just you and your family in slow -mo in an empty park and here's
(42:53):
the princesses all five of them waiting for you in the field out in front of the,
Castle and there's nobody there and then you get there and like wait There's
20 ,000 people in here that can be jarring if you've never left your house before
to do it The actual public is like,
yeah, and that leads to where could we fix these or where's the room for improvement?
(43:14):
So the first one is, yeah, temper your expectations because remember that you're
not the only one who wants to have that day.
Every single person there wants to have that day.
Everybody paid to be there. They're all standing in the same lines you are.
So, and we've all said this before, that just planning ahead and knowing what you're getting into,
(43:37):
even if you don't use a travel agent, which I think you should,
especially since I own a travel agency, naturally, I'd lean towards that.
But just doing a little research, know what you're in for.
Find out what the rules are, find out how the systems work,
ask your travel advisor to explain that to you because some of it can be a little
(43:59):
complex, but you have to, you can't expect that you're just going to be able
to run around and do whatever you want and be flexible.
So the Disney day that you have in your head where your little darling gets
to do this exact experience at this time in this way, we wanted to have this
lunch with Cinderella followed by this thing.
Well, you know, they can't have 20 ,000 people all doing that same thing.
(44:23):
So if you don't get so specific and so demanding about what you have to do,
if you just do the things that are available, they're all fun.
So maybe this ride is not available right now, but here's another one.
That's very fun. Or this, this dinner or lunch wasn't available, but guess what?
There's 75 other restaurants that are amazing and lots of character greet opportunities
(44:46):
and just go with the flow a little bit.
And I know that seems against what they're trying to do now when everybody feels
like you have to have your face buried in the app to do exactly what it's telling
you, but you don't have to do that.
You can kind of go with the flow, look and see what's available right now and go do it.
Right. Yeah. And I think part of the problem with that is the free side of the
(45:10):
genie section of the app where it does, you tell it what you're interested in
and then it gives you a sample guide for your day.
I never look at that because it never makes sense.
Yeah, but so nobody else should look at it.
I mean, well, honestly, if you look at, we've done that on the show before,
where we've looked at these proposed.
(45:32):
Itineraries and they're doing this in real time and what they're trying to do
what this app is really trying to do is not to Make you have a good day.
It's to make is to spread the crowds out to their thing.
So if everybody's writing Whatever
Space Mountain the line is super long Then if you look on the thing,
it's gonna suggest that you go over to Frontierland and raw and do country bear
(45:53):
jamboree so then you go over and do that and then next it's gonna send you to
fantasy land to do this thing and And that's good for them spreading their crowds out,
but it's not good for you unless you're trying to get a hundred million steps
in for your day So it doesn't make any sense the way it sends you crisscrossing
back and forth So honestly,
it's best to get to an area of the park where there is something available on
(46:15):
a genie ride that and then stick with the things that are nearby you cover that
area till you move into a next one and.
Don't crisscross back and forth because that's what gets frustrating Yeah,
that's it's always seemed weird to me that they haven't addressed that it shouldn't be.
I wouldn't think it would be that hard for them to make those genies suggestions
(46:39):
more aware of where you are in the park.
So I truly think and I don't know this, but I truly think those suggestions
are literally just the algorithm trying to spread the crowd out on purpose.
So it's sending you to areas of the park that are less populated on purpose.
Right. But, but if you're, if you're just getting off of big thunder mountain,
(47:02):
rather than sending you to space mountain, maybe it could send you to country
bears or the T or the splash mountain or what Tiana's it will soon be.
So yes, but it does not do that. And I, I feel like there's gotta be some reason for that.
Cause it seemed like it would, you know, with geo fencing and all that, they know where you are.
(47:25):
But I guess if they send you past enough restaurants and shops,
maybe the likelihood that you stop and purchase something is higher.
Yeah. I hate to be cynical, but that does make sense. Yeah.
Well, it's like these awful Disney blogs that tell you the entire history of
the Disney parks and Walt Disney himself before they get to the two -line point of their thing.
(47:47):
And that is only to get you to see more ads on the way to the point.
So maybe that's what Disney's doing. but I don't think their technology is good
enough that that's actually what they're doing.
No. So yeah, so do a little planning, do a little research, ask somebody for help.
Key to the world travels got 600 agents now who would love to show you how to
(48:09):
take the frustration of trying to navigate that app and make it really easy
because it's not actually that hard.
And don't necessarily lean on your friends for their version of what your perfect
day should be because maybe their kids are into different things or maybe they,
were there at a slow time and you're going at Christmas.
So what they think is important and easy to do may not be for you.
(48:32):
So if you talk to a travel planner, like the ones here at key to the world,
they can tell you how to temper your expectations, how to plan ahead,
to get the right information, even down to how to dress and the weather and
the time of year you're going and all of the different things that you're not
going to want to have to think about.
For some reason, that's another effect of the internet and the bloggers and
(48:55):
now the tick tockers and stuff.
There's this idea of what the one exact way to do these theme parks is and what
the one acceptable perfect day is.
It's just not how it works. Which is going to be very different for a family
with, you know, three kids under eight years old versus a 20 year old Tick tocker
(49:15):
that's two different ideas of what's fun or,
Myself that's an empty nester that wants to go and do or you know,
it's very different from person to person We used to be park warriors when my
son was little we were in that park at rope drop and we left at fireworks Now I'm like,
all right a couple things like go have a drink a shop a little you know So everybody's
(49:38):
got a different thing And your friends will just tell you what they think you.
Music.
Should do based on what their interests are,
where a good travel planner will help you do what you like.
That is the real machine to imagine.
See what you did there. You see that? That was pretty good. That was good.
(49:59):
Finally, you did something good. It's been like four years now.
Well, I'm going to say thanks for hanging out with us again this week.
If you're excited to have a 5 -star vacation at Walt Disney World,
or anywhere else, Key to the World Travel has the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular
Stage full of expert travel planners, and they're all ready to make your vacation dreams a reality.
(50:22):
Head to www .keytotheworldtravel .com to get started with a no -obligation quote.
Word of mouth is the best way to help us grow our show. If you have a friend
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Jackassery, tell them what makes our show so great and send them our way.
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(50:45):
Music.
(51:16):
To ask a question or share your travel story, you can reach us by smoke signal,
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And make sure you follow the gold key adventurer society on facebook and instagram.
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(51:41):
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Music.
♪♪♪ Thanks to Outer Vibe for the use of their song, Hoka Hei,
(52:03):
for the intro and outro of our show.
Find them on Facebook at The Outer Vibe or check out www .outervibe .com for.
Music.
Tour dates, music, merch, and more.
We'll see you next week for another meeting of the Gold Key Adventure Society,
(52:24):
and until then remember, life is short and the world is wide, so go have an adventure.
Music.
(01:07):
Welcome back to another meeting of the Gold Key Adventurer Society.
My name is Dan Leonard. Hi Dan. And joining me this week in the studio is the one, the only, Mr.
Jeff Williams. What, what? Hey, that's me. It sure is.
Our show, as always, is brought to you by Key to the World Travel.
(01:27):
Key to the World Travel is a full -service travel agency specializing in theme
parks, Cruising destinations around the world head to,
www .gatortheworldtravel .com for more details and a no obligation quote on
the vacation of a lifetime Dan that might have been your peppiest read of our intro yet. I like it.
(01:48):
Mid sentence I decided I was going to try for like a Morning zoo kind of feel I like it.
It needs more like bicycle horn honks though I'll have those in post.
Yeah I will never do this. Let it go. Oh yeah. Well, um.
(02:09):
So if you've seen this every so often on social media, we get,
we get these posts where they share and it's all one star Yelp reviews of some
of America's most popular national parks. Oh yeah. Yeah.
That started going around the, around the interwebs lately. Here's a couple of ones that I.
(02:29):
Closest pop -up ad. Badlands National Park.
Have you ever been to the Badlands? I have not, but I am familiar with it.
It's in Western South Dakota there.
And the one -star review says, you lose cell service because you're in Nowhere, USA.
(02:50):
Yeah. Yeah. It's the Badlands.
Right. It's in the name.
Bruce Springsteen wasn't writing about it because it's urban.
Right. Or this one -star review of Carlsbad Caverns National Park in New Mexico.
Unless you find big caves and rocks overwhelmingly fascinating,
(03:11):
skip this one. Skip it! Yeah.
Yeah, who would have thought a big cavern would be just a cave?
Right. Although I kind of agree with him. I've been to some of our national,
our state cave parks here, and I get in there and I'm like, yep,
big old hole in the ground.
Right. Yeah, I get it.
Ooh, or in Hawaii, Haleakala National Park? I believe it's Haleakala. Sure.
(03:38):
You're the native Hawaiian speaker. You can... That's right.
Yes. So the review on this one says, do yourself a favor and just Google pretty
sunrise and save yourself the disappointment.
Now I have done that experience before when I was a kid. Everybody would come to visit Hawaii.
We would go up to the Haleakala and watch the sunrise. And you got to get up
(04:01):
at one in the morning to traipse up there and do it. But it is fabulous.
Even as a little kid, I could appreciate it. So this guy's a loser.
Yeah, I mean, I can't imagine being disappointed by.
Probably very many views at all. I mean like you're up above the cloud level
looking down on the sun rising like through the clouds. Majestic.
(04:24):
It's really pretty incredible in the middle of paradise. You know,
some, some people are just not into anything, right? Yeah, that's the problem.
Yeah. So I saw these posts popped up a few days ago and it got me thinking,
got me wondering what kind of one star reviews would we find for Walt Disney world? Yelp.
And it's a little bit bleak to be honest. Some of them, some of them are really funny.
(04:47):
Some of them are kind of infuriating. Most of them have a little bit of truth
tucked somewhere in between the
unreadable spelling errors or the major entitlement issues of the guests.
Also, I kind of noticed that the most of them fall into at least one of three main categories.
People are upset because either they needed to do some research before they
(05:08):
went or even better, book with the travel advisor.
Number two, they need to learn to temper their expectation. And number three,
some of them are, to be honest, valid complaints that we've addressed before.
In a recent episode, prices keep going up and the perceived perks,
the value for that money kind of keeps getting degraded.
So I thought maybe this week we could take a look at some of the best examples,
(05:30):
laugh at the inscrutable grammar and talk about the simple things that we could
do to fix the perspective or the experience for these people and turn the one
-star review into five stars.
And I am hoping, and I believe when they say that a lot of these kinds of things
that people are complaining about are going to be fixed in 24.
(05:52):
There's a real push towards fixing a lot of the issues with some of the perceived
value and what you get for it, as well as the app itself is.
You know, being tweaked. So I'm very hopeful for the future.
They have had a rough few years here.
Yeah, they have. I mean, they've even just recently dropped some improvements
to things like the experience of booking dining. Yep.
(06:15):
That that are going to be really nice. So hopefully that continues over with
some of the other guests experience.
I want to start off with a one star review. Read to me, Uncle Dan.
You want me to sit on your lap?
Through the magic of the internet, sure. As long as you stay firmly in Alabama.
(06:36):
Let me put the lotion in the basket first.
All right, this is the worst hotel review I could find for Walt Disney World Hotel Trip Advisor.
One star, never again. Wish I could give zero stars.
Absolutely awful from start to end. The check -in line was so atrociously long
that we waited almost an hour before we got to the counter.
(06:57):
I couldn't help but notice that housekeeping was woefully understaffed or just
plain terrible at their jobs as the whole place was covered in cobwebs and dust.
The bellboys were absolutely obnoxious when trying to catch the lift to our rooms.
They were always hovering for tips I assume, but they couldn't even bother with
a simple smile and their attempt at conversation was macabre at best.
(07:18):
If you thought housekeeping was bad, maintenance was worse. Clearly they were
having electrical issues as the lights kept flickering and don't even bother taking the elevators.
After that experience, I didn't even bother staying the night for fear of what
the rooms are like. Overall, disgusting and unsafe hotel.
That is amazing. Let me guess, the Hollywood hotel.
(07:38):
That's right. Yes, that was a review for the Hollywood Tower Hotel.
That's fantastic. That's so clever. Yeah, I enjoyed that.
And that's going to be the most delightful one. Was that submitted by Dan Leonard?
No, I wish I was that clever. Yeah, I wish you were too. I think our listeners wish you were.
(08:01):
I'm just going to start back at the top of my list now. One star review for
Indiana Jones stunt spectacular.
This one I just thought was funny. Waste of time, long wait,
and finally they showed the five minute show, which anyone can do.
You don't need to come to Disney to see this terrible.
Anybody, just anybody off the street can do what they do in that. Yeah, exactly. Right.
(08:24):
I see that in my street racing around my neighborhood all the time.
And then the German mechanic comes out and they… Airplanes and… Yeah.
And who among us doesn't have a 600 -pound rock ball they can run away from just here at the house?
(08:45):
I wish. I actually would involve that in my fitness routine.
Push that ball up to the hill and then run down and let it chase me.
I've found a funny one for the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train ride,
and there's snippets from it are just so funny and so uneducated. What?
(09:06):
80 minutes for that? If you have little kids, okay, maybe, but this is not a
ride any self -respecting thrill seeker should be waiting for. Way way way overhyped.
I love many of the rides in Disney, I appreciate the artistry,
I know it's not all about big drops, but this is a kiddie runaway train ride
all about the dwarfs, which very few kids are even into.
(09:28):
I mean, where is Snow White? That's the end of the thing.
Well, she's at the end of the ride, but it is called the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train.
So the fact that it's a runaway train ride all about the dwarfs should not be lost on this guy.
Right. And this is one of those, this is one of those reviews.
I found several of these too, where they're complaining and they give it one
(09:51):
star, but all of their complaints are exactly what the attraction is supposed to be. Yeah.
Nobody said it was going to be top speed dragster, you know,
some sort of over the top roller coaster.
And that ride, you can walk around it and see several of the drops and turns
to see it's, you know, it's a runaway cart ride, kind of like big thunder or whatever.
(10:15):
It shouldn't have been a surprise. And the description when the ride height
is only 38 inches or whatever, that's a good indicator. I should give it away.
Yeah, I had a similar one for rock and roller coaster One star not for everyone.
I absolutely hated this ride. It goes from 0 to 60 in about 3 seconds There
(10:37):
are many twists and turns and loops that made me feel sick by the end of the ride.
I would never ride again So it's a roller coaster It goes fast Around it goes
up and down hills and you flip upside down I thought it would be more like a dark ride, I guess.
I forgot the closing line of
(10:59):
the seven dwarfs review I just talked about was, hi ho, how about hi no?
So the guy is a jerk, but that's pretty clever. Yeah, I had a similar,
I had a good clever line on this one here.
Here's a one star review for the Hoop -dee -doo Magic, Hoop -dee -doo Musical Review.
(11:23):
And the headline is, one star, Hoop -dee -don't.
Oh, I hate that. I love that show so much. Yeah. Well, and here's some highlights.
I'll tell you the kind of person who is enjoying this. Again,
this is one of those ones where maybe do a little bit of checking on what a
show or an attraction is about because not everything is made for everybody to enjoy.
(11:44):
Wait, are you saying that people as humans like different things?
I know, it's shocking. We're all supposed to be the same and yet we're different.
How can anyone like this show? Are the positive reviews from people who never
have anything bad to say about anything?
I consider our family of average sophistication. My wife and I like the blue
collar comedy tour. Yeah.
(12:06):
My girls are six and 10 for comedy. They like Zack and Cody and Hannah Montana.
They also hated the hoop to do review.
There aren't enough cute boys. So Oh, the food was just okay.
Most of the men were there for the unlimited beer and wine.
Sadly, it was light beer, which to me isn't beer at all.
(12:28):
You're eating, you're eating all that fat and carbs yet drinking beer flavored water to save calories.
What? I think they have a few you can choose from even I don't know.
I don't actually remember but that's a weird one. Yeah.
I could see that. Maybe the hokum isn't for everybody of that show, but I don't know.
(12:51):
Yeah. Oh and he ends with saying if you grew up liking hee -haw,
this is probably the show for you. Yeah, I could see that and I did.
So I like cheesy hokum like that. And I, I, I feel bad for people that can't let go.
And although I will admit, I was, I was reticent to go to it till I was.
(13:12):
Someone bought tickets for me to go and I wound up loving it.
So I will say that I thought, Oh, that's going to be cheesy.
Cause I had seen the Hula show. Aloha show.
They used to have Luau show. And I did not really care for that one,
because I have been to real ones in Hawaii and thought the family and Ohana
overlay of that one was kind of bad. But I love Hoop.
(13:35):
Yeah, I mean, I really appreciate his idea that his standard for sophistication
is the Blue Collar Comedy Show. Yeah, I'm pretty sophisticated.
I'm into the Blue Collar Comedy Show.
I like this one. And you just can't please some people with all of the amazing
animatronics and technology and stuff that we have.
(13:55):
This is a one -star review of Frozen Ever After.
I was disappointed in this ride, but that's probably because they didn't change
it much from what it used to be before it was revamped to just be a tourist
trap for people who like Frozen. The ride is called Frozen.
Well it's certainly packed full of robots now. The track is the same from what I remember.
(14:19):
There used to be a troll at the end, but now it's just an abominable snowman.
You still find yourself sailing backward at one point. I don't know what I expected.
Maybe for them to build something new and not just re -skin an existing ride. Shame on me, I guess.
I mean, sure. It was only closed for like four months or something.
Right. That's what you can do. But in New Robots.
(14:41):
To be honest, the ride's fine. It is fine. It's not a headlight.
And especially for little kids that love Frozen, that is exactly as billed.
Yeah, again, not everything is for everybody. And everybody always acts like
the thing they took out was the most amazing thing.
Like Maelstrom was fine, but if you like, you know, oil derricks and trolls,
(15:02):
you know, maybe you miss that. But it was never that great.
It was always something good to do and cool off, but then everybody would blow
past the historical film about the actual beautiful country of Norway.
So nobody watched that anyway. Right.
Yeah. I, the, the nostalgia factor is weird there.
And actually where's, Oh, let me find it. I've got one that,
(15:25):
oh yeah, there it is. I titled these to make it easier to find.
One star review not worth the money. I have no idea why people enjoy Disney
parks these days. When I was a kid, these played fun.
There was lots to do and it felt like you couldn't get it all done in a day.
Now these parks are just filled with people wandering around from line to line
while they get ripped off all day. Guess what?
(15:47):
That's what it was like when you were a kid. Yeah. You were a kid, so you were having fun.
You didn't have the stress of being the parent trying to make sure that your
kid had fun. And you didn't pay for it. Your dad did or whoever.
Exactly. Yeah. this the lines were probably worse back in the day because there
was no lightning lane or genies or,
any kind of fast pass system and fewer attractions yeah far fewer right it's
(16:11):
just more and more people now because it's funny as it's gotten more expensive
more people are actually affording to go so everybody cries about how expensive
it is but yet they you know in the same sentence they're Like,
they've priced out the common man. And also, why is it so crowded?
I've been there. These are not the elite people walking around in the parks.
(16:33):
No. These are people that you're not going to be able to price out because they're
going to go into crippling debt no matter what the interest cost is. Yes, this is America.
Right. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, if they limit the number of people they let in, then they're just going
to raise the prices more so that they don't make less money.
This is actually a two -star review, but I thought the line was funny.
(16:56):
This is about a little ride called the Haunted Mansion.
He said, this was really just a nice ride through spider webs,
ghosts, ghouls, and goblins.
A few scary thrills on the way, I guess.
Yeah. That's, again, exactly as Bill.
I mean, it's not meant to be Halloween Horror Nights. What did you expect?
(17:17):
At a family park. What's with all the spiderwebs, ghosts, and ghouls in here?
Haunted mansion. Yeah.
Flight of Passage, one star, get ready, nerds. If you love standing in line
for three, three plus hours with thousands of your friends you've never met,
then this is the ride for you.
(17:37):
Once inside, get ready for more magic as you queue up on your number as a guy
on the screen who looks like Kramer from Seinfeld instructs you about what comes next.
The ride itself will last approximately three minutes. Afterwards,
you'll be in such shock and awe that you ask yourself, what just happened here?
Did I just spend half my day that I paid 500 bucks for to experience that?
(17:57):
It's been almost a month now since my family visited, and I'm still shaking
my head about spending so much money for so little fun together as a family.
I really just can't, I can't fathom how these people aren't having fun.
Yes, it's expensive and all that, but I don't know. I think people need to relax.
Yeah. And I think a lot of these are, they get home and they look at how much
(18:21):
money they spent or they,
but in the moment it seems like they're always having fun because lots of these
people attach photos to their reviews and they're all full of people with their
smiles on their faces and they appear to be having the most wonderful time ever
and then they get home and yeah,
I guess they fire up Yelp when that credit card bill comes.
(18:42):
You must be right. Yeah, I think that's what it is.
This is a line from two star one and a half, excuse me, star review of pirates
of the Caribbean. And excuse me, yo ho, hold up.
That's a long line for a slow moving boat cruise through scenes of animatronics
(19:04):
playing where's Jack Sparrow, not a terrible escape though, if it's hot outside.
It's like one of the most classic beloved rides of the entire parks.
(19:25):
And one is available at every single one of the parks worldwide.
This guy's like, I mean, I guess if you like robot pirates.
What were these people expecting? I don't know. It's like they've never seen
a dark ride or something.
Maybe they're used to Six Flags where everything's a coaster or something.
I guess, but people know what, I mean, Pirates of the Caribbean is.
(19:50):
I don't know. I don't get it.
Oh, and a lot of people complain that all this is, is a bunch of robots.
That's my favorite. That's that's a running theme through several of these.
Like all they did was spend a gazillion dollars of R &D to develop the most
amazing animatronics available anywhere in the world.
(20:10):
That's all it is. Yeah.
Or Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. I think this is very boring.
Nothing to look at the entire time.
Have they not tried the goat trick? I mean, the entire thing is jam packed with
props and gags and right.
So much that I'm still seeing something new every time I write it.
(20:32):
And if nothing else, you got beautiful views of the parks around every turn
when you're up high and can, boy, have you ridden that thing at either park,
Disneyland or Disney world? Have you ridden that during fireworks?
Yeah. And that is special.
Yeah, that is phenomenal. It's not easy to time it out, but if you manage it, then it is.
(20:53):
Yeah, it's a little bit more intense at Disneyland because it's closer to where
they fire the fireworks from, because it's kind of back behind the castle there.
Disneyland is positioned a little closer to where the fireworks go off,
but it's pretty amazing either way.
They're right over your head. So all those fireworks that look like they're
over the castle when you're watching from Main Street are really more over Big Thunder. Right. Yeah.
(21:18):
Yeah, it's phenomenal. I wish I next time I go to Disneyland,
I've got to try to make that happen.
You know, I was thinking finally something to look at while I'm on this boring ride.
Yeah. Besides the dinosaur bones and wheels and steam and explosions and dynamite
and goats and animatronics. Everything else. Yeah.
(21:40):
It's jam -packed with stuff, but nothing to see here, folks.
To see here space mountain while we're on attraction still.
Oh, this is just the last line is the best bet.
Waited in line for an hour and a half for space mountain it broke down and we
did not receive proper guidance on when it would be fixed very disappointed
(22:03):
in walt and the disney family.
They were sitting around smoking pickled cigs designing that one themselves,
that's funny this one is this line is also from space mountain did you know
that it only goes 35 miles per hour and the max drop is only 26 feet. This is a small coaster.
(22:29):
I do always feel like I'm going to get decapitated though.
Yes, to both of those. Yeah. That is a, what do they call that?
A caged mouse or something, that type of ride. So it's real tight turns.
You're going pretty slow, but it feels like you're going a thousand miles an hour in there.
Yeah. Especially at Disneyland. I couldn't think to myself, there's no way this is safe, but it is. Yeah.
(22:57):
Yeah. Especially at Disneyland. It feels a lot faster there.
Yeah. And it's got a nice smooth, they rounded out some of the turns and stuff.
I think the, I think, I don't know this for sure, but I think the track at Disney
world is the same one it's always been.
Yeah, they just keep on repairing it and adding more breaks to it to make you
go slower and slower. And it's not a toboggan style at Disneyland.
(23:22):
It's a side by side, normal modern coaster.
And I don't know if when it opened, if it was toboggan style and they widened it or what.
I could have researched that. If only there was a Google.
If only i'm trying
to see if there's any more attractions i have on here i have
some that are related to attractions because there's
(23:45):
a lot of misunderstanding with the
lightning lanes and i really enjoyed this this one here one star frozen in time
experience whoever is responsible for allowing people on the ride needs to be
castrated wow it was a horrible ass wait instead of advancing the line like
(24:05):
someone with an IQ above 10,
they decided to only keep letting the fast pass people in, which made the wait over two hours.
Whoever you are, you suck.
Wow, that is very specific and pretty extreme. I feel like that person might need a hobby.
Yeah, maybe. Are we really castrating people anymore these days?
(24:26):
Not in the United States that I'm aware of.
Yeah, the fast pass thing and
genie and lightning lane seems to be a real trend on these low reviews.
Yeah, this one too, one star. We did not purchase the lightning pass because
you can only use it on a minimum of rides and two to three times a day.
We did the Cali Rapids and stayed at 45 minute wait time, ended up being 75
(24:50):
minutes, et cetera, et cetera.
There's a lot of misunderstanding. And part of that is to be honest the way
Disney words things because they want to I don't know be Not clear.
They want to cover their self up front just in case you don't get like six lightning
lane things in a day, right?
Yeah They sort of bill it as you could ride two to three attractions But really
(25:12):
if you do it, right you can ride five or six depending on the day Now,
yeah, if you're there on a day when Cali River Rapids is 75 minutes and you
I mean, it's just crowded Right.
I've never ever seen that ride that long.
It's crowded and it's the hottest day of the summer or something. Yeah.
We went on July 4th and I could only ride eight rides. I don't know what happened.
(25:39):
This one's a little bit long, but the punchline has to do with that. So never again.
We went in September as we were told it was slow season and additionally picked
a day that was listed as light crowds on multiple crowd calendars.
And I believe that either most people don't know what slow means or that these
blogs deliberately leave off the phrase for Disney. Well.
(26:01):
We might have been fine with the number of people, but we're constantly getting
ran by Paris, not watching out with their strollers.
The slow day, every ride had over 100 minute wait for the majority of the day.
And the rides that did eventually drop down in 15 minutes for the carousel of
progress and the people mover.
We were only able to ride one ride on our must do list, the Haunted Mansion,
right before the park closed.
So here's the punchline, though.
(26:23):
Also, I can't necessarily pin this on Disney, we're giving them a one -star
review, but it's not their fault because half the park was closed for the day
because a bear got into the park. Oh, yeah.
Jack might explain the horrid wait times that day.
Yes. We won't be going to the Magic Kingdom again, even though we just acknowledged
that it's because the bear got into the park and closed everything down.
Which clearly is a once in a million thing to happen.
(26:46):
Right. So it should probably be the thing that you base your decision to never
go back. I'll never go there again because I think I will never eat at this
restaurant again because a car crashed through the window of the place when I was there.
Right. My meal had glass in it, sir.
A lot of people just don't quite get that times have changed too.
(27:09):
This is a one star review, the headline of which is not worth it anymore.
My first time at Walt Disney World was in the 1970s.
Oh, sorry. Sorry, my last time at Walt Disney World was in the 1970s.
I know that was a long time ago, but our tickets were $12.
I have been many, oh no, I have been many times since then, but today's prices are outrageous.
(27:31):
Not worth it. Many of the rides and shows are even still the same as they were
when I went in the 70s. Yeah. Yeah.
It's a classic. Yeah. But then this is the same kind of person that's going
to get mad because they didn't have the ride he loved in the 70s.
So it goes to show. You cannot win with folks if you change things.
They don't like that if you keep them the same. Why didn't you change it?
(27:54):
Yeah Exactly It's very disrespectful from Disney's part to charge 148 per person
per day plus make us wait 95 minutes for each ride Once we were almost close
to the ride Disney decides to cancel the ride in three different instances,
Yeah, I bet they just made that decision randomly, right?
(28:15):
I just like it's they're disrespecting you by making you wait in line.
I don't know. Happiest place on earth. My ass is the headline of this one.
Feel reluctant to write this review. However, in the hope, it may improve things
for future guests. I feel the need to do so.
(28:36):
It just goes on to cry about everything. Wait times and genie and everything
else. But I did think that was kind of funny.
Happiest place on earth. My ass.
I mean, it's not that's Disneyland, right? Get it right.
This is the most magical place on his ass, apparently. Right.
(28:58):
I appreciated the hypocrisy in the opening line of this review.
Alcohol in a children's park? Where's the smoking areas?
Oh, yeah. It's pissed that they're selling booze in the Magic Kingdom,
but also pissed that you can't smoke in the Magic Kingdom.
I saw several of them talking about like there's nowhere to smoke at all in
(29:18):
the parks. And I guess that would be a drag.
I haven't smoked since they actually really, since I started going to Disney,
I did used to smoke, but there used to be smoking areas all around the parks
and they were disgusting.
Honestly, like there was one that was right near where you would wait in at
the old spot where you would get dull whips.
(29:38):
There was a smoking section right next to that. So you're in a long line for
a dull whip, just breathing in 35 smokers, secondhand smoke.
I don't miss that, but it is far.
You have to go all the way out of the parks and down by the river to have a cigarette.
So I think I would do like most people and have a vape in there that I snuck.
(30:02):
The words expressed here, by
the way, are not condoned by Key to the World Travel. That's right. Never.
Unless we're telling you to get a travel agent like some of these people needed
to do like this one. my first worst Disney experience.
Where do I begin? I reserved a room at the Polynesian using Disney's centralized booking system.
I then tried to book dining by calling their 800 number, but because the wait
(30:27):
time was a whole 30 minutes, I tried to send a simple email.
Well, yeah, and then he's mad that they didn't book his dining form via email
because that's not how the system works. That's not how that works. Yeah.
Dear Disney World, I want to eat there.
To whom it may concern, break me, fix my dining room.
(30:52):
The open table didn't work, so I sent a carrier pigeon. I don't know what happened. It didn't work.
This is waste of time and a lot, in capital letters, of money.
We came all the way from New Zealand to come to Disney World, all one word.
As had been told, it was so much better than L .A. Disneyland, two words.
I completely disagree. They let way too many people into the parks,
(31:15):
the cost is unjustifiable,
and get this, we had four rides shut down after waiting for nearly an hour,
and there were no apologies from the staff, just free FastPasses.
So all they did was give him a FastPass to any other ride he wanted, all four times.
But he didn't get an apology. I think the FastPass was the apology.
(31:39):
Yes, exactly. But I was almost with them on some of those things.
I mean, but I mean, yes, it's expensive and yes, to all of those things, but I don't know.
If you want them to spend the 60 billion they've promised to spend in the next
five years on the parks, they're gonna have to make the money. Right.
(32:00):
10th circle of hell. People who pretend they like it here are lying.
That's not hyperbole at all. No.
If you want a similar experience for less, I recommend having your car towed
at 2 a .m. and then going to the impound.
You'll see the same type of crowds have shorter wait times, receive more polite
service, have cleaner bathrooms and get more and healthier food options.
(32:24):
Wow. This one is very succinct.
Overrated, overpriced, overwoke, and I'm over it.
That's the whole review. Yeah. And the woke thing keeps on popping up in newer reviews, too.
Yeah. One star, this woke company Disney has destroyed itself,
(32:48):
charging for rides and the app. They want to change our kids.
They made an awful Indiana Jones 5 movie. Disney is dead in its current.
One of these things is not like the other. These people just want to yell about Disney.
They keep on saying these things that I don't think that they could even explain
to you what they mean. Indy 5? Can you believe they had the nerve to make a
(33:09):
woman one of the main characters?
We all know that women aren't capable of, yeah, I did, I, they're not even funny
anymore. They go woke, go broke.
I got a couple of those, but they're just, I know they're so irritating because
no one can even really describe what I can't find it now. But it was talking
about how Disney has gone so woke.
(33:32):
If I wanted to see a cowboy with pierced ears, I'd go somewhere else or something,
you know, something like that. like talking about this, the cast members can
have facial hair now, or a pierced ear or a tattoo.
And like, you know, I keep reading stuff like that about how it takes me out
of the magic. When I see that it's like, you mean when you see modern humans
(33:55):
being right, human, but also did you really think you were in the old West?
Cause in the fifties and sixties and seventies, These people at Disney parks
looked like people from the 50s, 60s, and 70s. They just did.
Yeah. Yeah. That's so frustrating. The whole, how many times have you seen the
(34:17):
magic is gone or Walt would be rolling in his grave?
No, he wouldn't. Walt's cryogenically frozen head is doing just fine in its cylinder.
That's right. This person really didn't understand the point of Epcot, I think.
In fact, they say that at all. I do not understand this park at all,
(34:38):
and I'm quite disappointed they spent two hours at this park during the full
day I spent out at Disney World.
First of all, if you're trying to get the complete Disney experience in one
day… A full day! Two hours at each park.
Basically, you enter the park and they have an area with a few space rides and test track.
There's a stage before you enter the rest of the park, which is a big circle
(34:59):
of little areas that are themed based on different countries.
At the different countries, all they have is small shops for gifts and a few restaurants and bars.
I will say, the way each country and the shops, bars, and restaurants for the
country were decorated was beautiful.
It was clear that a lot of effort was taken to make the areas of the countries
look authentic, and that is the park.
Basically, you pay the price of admission to Epcot and then go spend money to
(35:23):
eat, drink, and buy gifts.
Yes. I think you summed it up, buddy. Right.
Somebody owes you some money for writing their brochure for them,
because... Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, this wasn't anything but a permanent World's Fair. Oh, wait.
Yes. Actually, I did see one that said exactly that. Oh, really?
(35:44):
Yeah, that's literally what he wanted. Right.
Right. But it's funny, because the World's Fair, I guess they don't even wonder
when they stopped doing those. but that used to be the thing.
Here's all the modern future marvels and here's cultures from around the world.
And each country that hosted it would show off their modern marvels or their
(36:05):
look at the future. It was exactly what Epcot is.
People flocked from all over the world to see, and they still do.
And when you got to those things, you paid to ride little rides, see displays.
I don't know. I don't know what people want. I saw one complaining that Disney
was racist because the Morocco pavilion looked like desert castle where you
(36:27):
would see camels and stuff.
And they're like, where's the modern cities? Where's the actual culture?
So I was like, this is the most authentic of the pavilions because the country
of Morocco themselves built it, sent their own designers and artisans over.
Materials and everything. Of course, we've since run them out of there and now
there's nothing at all to see or do in there, but that's a topic of another podcast.
(36:54):
Right. Epcot Food and Wine Fest.
Don't expect to be able to try a variety of food without overpaying.
If you're seeking to try good food and wine from around the world, look elsewhere.
So the food at food and wine averages about $5 for each of those little selections.
Yeah, but if you want to eat 35 plates of food, Dan, that's going to cost you.
(37:18):
I mean, the amount of food that's still reasonable compared to what you'd pay
for it at a restaurant. I agree.
I think the, I mean, the festivals to me, they all run together and I've complained
about that myself before, but the food and all those things is pretty great
and a pretty good value still right.
(37:38):
Disney Springs, nothing special,
not recommended unless you want to go and spend money. Yes, it is a mall.
It is a great big shopping mall with restaurants and shops. That's what you do.
That's that's how it's built. Even right. It was purpose built for that to keep
the Brazilian and European shoppers from going to the outlet mall nearby.
(38:00):
Right. This guest from the UK was very upset about the pricing and he closes
his one star review by saying such a disappointment.
I'll never go again. Save your money and go somewhere more inviting. Try Ukraine.
She'd say that this was written in September of 2022. So, oh,
(38:20):
that didn't age well at all. No. Yeah.
He's got some very strong feelings, apparently. This is a straight up lie here.
Paid almost $2 ,500 in tickets to just a few parks. That's, you know,
that's kind of what it is.
I had a child with a disability that needed the space that my enormous,
(38:42):
I added the word enormous, wagon provided.
They forced me to rent a park stroller, which was poorly built and hard as a
rock, which made things worse. but then I saw dozens of other wagons just like
mine after just walking around the park all willy -nilly.
When I went to customer relations office, they actually laughed at my child's
(39:04):
disability, sad and sick. Now that just did not happen.
That did not happen. Absolutely not. They do.
They go out of their way still to make sure that differently abled people have
the right access and the easiest time there.
I, there's no way in hell that actually happened. And I hate to see that because
someone's going to believe it.
(39:24):
Well, and they do. That is the only way you can bring those stroller wagons
in is if you have legitimate Medical need for them.
They will make exceptions to the wagon Yeah, and I've never seen dozens of those
enormous wagons willy -nilly.
I do see occasionally I'm like how'd they get that in here because it's not
they're not supposed to be in there But I do see them from time to time but
(39:47):
never dozens and they're certainly not willy -nilly Right.
No Somebody just wasn't paying attention or didn't know us when they fold it
up. It can be hard to tell Yeah, that's probably it.
Yeah, probably folds up where they can pull it in suitcase style or something. Right.
We decided to go to Hollywood Studios in disguise as a family because it was Halloween.
When we were already inside the park, a worker approached us to tell us we could
(40:10):
not wear masks with a costume.
I think it's ridiculous that on Halloween they don't allow you to wear your full Disney costume.
If only it said that on all of the literature and ticketing. Right.
Then we see Disney defending freedom of expression, but we can't wear our masks. Oh, Lord. Yeah.
(40:31):
And they're defending it by having these mustachioed men everywhere.
Right. I wanted to see a cowboy with pierced ears.
I'd go somewhere else. OK, where exactly would you go? I don't know.
A gay country and Western bar, I don't know. Which actually sounds pretty fun, too. Right. Yeah.
(40:57):
This nutcase just hates scooters.
Disney has got to stop giving those damn scooter cars to every lazy fat that
wants to zip around cutting off walking pedestrians.
This is the most obese country in the world and Disney only encourages sloth and gluttony.
Only doctor prescribed scooter. Wow.
(41:20):
He's got some feelings and they're strong. I so I have no issue with people needing a scooter.
I've been with people that need a scooter for various reasons,
a broken toe or whatever the issue is fine.
The thing I will complain about with scooters is that when people are on them,
they act like they're in a sealed vehicle and they're no longer a human being.
(41:42):
They can't just tap your shoulders. Say, excuse me, could I get by?
They honk at you like, no, you're a person.
Right. Just say, excuse me, or you can, you know, your arms and all working
fine. You could just tap me and say, excuse me, because I don't see you down there. I'm sorry.
I just don't. Or that could slow it down a second.
Yeah. And the way they really, even those, the ones that they ran out at Disney
(42:04):
world, those are governored and they're still pretty fast.
Yeah. But the, some of the ones that people bring in that are their own,
I think those things go like 45 miles an hour. Right.
Yeah. Like I'm sorry that you can't get around as well, but that doesn't mean
you should get to go 30 miles an hour down Main Street.
That does sound kind of fun. Oh yeah. In an empty park, I'd love to have a scooter race.
(42:30):
Oh yes. How can we make that happen? I mean, we know where to rent scooters. Yep.
And we know how to stay very late. But it's so crowded.
No one told me there would be other people here. I will say if you if you were
going to Disney thinking you're gonna get the experience from their commercials
You think it's just you and your family in slow -mo in an empty park and here's
(42:53):
the princesses all five of them waiting for you in the field out in front of the,
Castle and there's nobody there and then you get there and like wait There's
20 ,000 people in here that can be jarring if you've never left your house before
to do it The actual public is like,
yeah, and that leads to where could we fix these or where's the room for improvement?
(43:14):
So the first one is, yeah, temper your expectations because remember that you're
not the only one who wants to have that day.
Every single person there wants to have that day.
Everybody paid to be there. They're all standing in the same lines you are.
So, and we've all said this before, that just planning ahead and knowing what you're getting into,
(43:37):
even if you don't use a travel agent, which I think you should,
especially since I own a travel agency, naturally, I'd lean towards that.
But just doing a little research, know what you're in for.
Find out what the rules are, find out how the systems work,
ask your travel advisor to explain that to you because some of it can be a little
(43:59):
complex, but you have to, you can't expect that you're just going to be able
to run around and do whatever you want and be flexible.
So the Disney day that you have in your head where your little darling gets
to do this exact experience at this time in this way, we wanted to have this
lunch with Cinderella followed by this thing.
Well, you know, they can't have 20 ,000 people all doing that same thing.
(44:23):
So if you don't get so specific and so demanding about what you have to do,
if you just do the things that are available, they're all fun.
So maybe this ride is not available right now, but here's another one.
That's very fun. Or this, this dinner or lunch wasn't available, but guess what?
There's 75 other restaurants that are amazing and lots of character greet opportunities
(44:46):
and just go with the flow a little bit.
And I know that seems against what they're trying to do now when everybody feels
like you have to have your face buried in the app to do exactly what it's telling
you, but you don't have to do that.
You can kind of go with the flow, look and see what's available right now and go do it.
Right. Yeah. And I think part of the problem with that is the free side of the
(45:10):
genie section of the app where it does, you tell it what you're interested in
and then it gives you a sample guide for your day.
I never look at that because it never makes sense.
Yeah, but so nobody else should look at it.
I mean, well, honestly, if you look at, we've done that on the show before,
where we've looked at these proposed.
(45:32):
Itineraries and they're doing this in real time and what they're trying to do
what this app is really trying to do is not to Make you have a good day.
It's to make is to spread the crowds out to their thing.
So if everybody's writing Whatever
Space Mountain the line is super long Then if you look on the thing,
it's gonna suggest that you go over to Frontierland and raw and do country bear
(45:53):
jamboree so then you go over and do that and then next it's gonna send you to
fantasy land to do this thing and And that's good for them spreading their crowds out,
but it's not good for you unless you're trying to get a hundred million steps
in for your day So it doesn't make any sense the way it sends you crisscrossing
back and forth So honestly,
it's best to get to an area of the park where there is something available on
(46:15):
a genie ride that and then stick with the things that are nearby you cover that
area till you move into a next one and.
Don't crisscross back and forth because that's what gets frustrating Yeah,
that's it's always seemed weird to me that they haven't addressed that it shouldn't be.
I wouldn't think it would be that hard for them to make those genies suggestions
(46:39):
more aware of where you are in the park.
So I truly think and I don't know this, but I truly think those suggestions
are literally just the algorithm trying to spread the crowd out on purpose.
So it's sending you to areas of the park that are less populated on purpose.
Right. But, but if you're, if you're just getting off of big thunder mountain,
(47:02):
rather than sending you to space mountain, maybe it could send you to country
bears or the T or the splash mountain or what Tiana's it will soon be.
So yes, but it does not do that. And I, I feel like there's gotta be some reason for that.
Cause it seemed like it would, you know, with geo fencing and all that, they know where you are.
(47:25):
But I guess if they send you past enough restaurants and shops,
maybe the likelihood that you stop and purchase something is higher.
Yeah. I hate to be cynical, but that does make sense. Yeah.
Well, it's like these awful Disney blogs that tell you the entire history of
the Disney parks and Walt Disney himself before they get to the two -line point of their thing.
(47:47):
And that is only to get you to see more ads on the way to the point.
So maybe that's what Disney's doing. but I don't think their technology is good
enough that that's actually what they're doing.
No. So yeah, so do a little planning, do a little research, ask somebody for help.
Key to the world travels got 600 agents now who would love to show you how to
(48:09):
take the frustration of trying to navigate that app and make it really easy
because it's not actually that hard.
And don't necessarily lean on your friends for their version of what your perfect
day should be because maybe their kids are into different things or maybe they,
were there at a slow time and you're going at Christmas.
So what they think is important and easy to do may not be for you.
(48:32):
So if you talk to a travel planner, like the ones here at key to the world,
they can tell you how to temper your expectations, how to plan ahead,
to get the right information, even down to how to dress and the weather and
the time of year you're going and all of the different things that you're not
going to want to have to think about.
For some reason, that's another effect of the internet and the bloggers and
(48:55):
now the tick tockers and stuff.
There's this idea of what the one exact way to do these theme parks is and what
the one acceptable perfect day is.
It's just not how it works. Which is going to be very different for a family
with, you know, three kids under eight years old versus a 20 year old Tick tocker
(49:15):
that's two different ideas of what's fun or,
Myself that's an empty nester that wants to go and do or you know,
it's very different from person to person We used to be park warriors when my
son was little we were in that park at rope drop and we left at fireworks Now I'm like,
all right a couple things like go have a drink a shop a little you know So everybody's
(49:38):
got a different thing And your friends will just tell you what they think you.
Music.
Should do based on what their interests are,
where a good travel planner will help you do what you like.
That is the real machine to imagine.
See what you did there. You see that? That was pretty good. That was good.
(49:59):
Finally, you did something good. It's been like four years now.
Well, I'm going to say thanks for hanging out with us again this week.
If you're excited to have a 5 -star vacation at Walt Disney World,
or anywhere else, Key to the World Travel has the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular
Stage full of expert travel planners, and they're all ready to make your vacation dreams a reality.
(50:22):
Head to www .keytotheworldtravel .com to get started with a no -obligation quote.
Word of mouth is the best way to help us grow our show. If you have a friend
or two who you think would appreciate our special brand of globe -trotting and
Jackassery, tell them what makes our show so great and send them our way.
You can find links to subscribe to the show on your favorite apps, and I'll delude...
(50:45):
Music.
(51:16):
To ask a question or share your travel story, you can reach us by smoke signal,
carrier pigeon or send an email to goldkeyadventures at gmail dot com.
And make sure you follow the gold key adventurer society on facebook and instagram.
A huge thanks to our sponsor key to the world travel.
For all your travel planning needs, visit www .keytotheworldtravel .com for
(51:41):
a free quote and help planning the trip of a lifetime.
Tell them the gold Key Adventurers sent you.
That's www .keytotheworldtravel .com. Key to the World Travel,
your key to a magical vacation.
Music.
♪♪♪ Thanks to Outer Vibe for the use of their song, Hoka Hei,
(52:03):
for the intro and outro of our show.
Find them on Facebook at The Outer Vibe or check out www .outervibe .com for.
Music.
Tour dates, music, merch, and more.
We'll see you next week for another meeting of the Gold Key Adventure Society,
(52:24):
and until then remember, life is short and the world is wide, so go have an adventure.
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