Why do millions swear by the 5 Love Languages, even though they’re not based on real cognitive science? Red and Del dive into the origins of Gary Chapman and his relationship theory, from its evangelical roots to its effects on pop culture.
Was “Words of Affirmation” just a way to avoid couples therapy?
Do “Acts of Service” secretly enable lazy partners?
We’re dissecting the viral psychology behind why these categories stick (and why they might be missing the point).
Whether you’re a hopeless romantic or a certified skeptic, this episode’s mix of snarky banter and surprising history will make you rethink how you love—and laugh at the chaos along the way.
___________
Sources:
Books:
Chapman, Gary. The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Northfield Publishing, 1992.
Chapman, Gary. Chapman, Gary. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts". Moody Publishers, Feb. 2015.
Journal Articles:
Hertenstein, Matthew J., et al. "Moving Toward a Model of Expressive Communication in Early Relationships: A Review of Touch." Current Directions in Psychological Science, vol. 33, no. 5, 2023, pp. 407–414. SAGE Journals, https://doi.org/10.1177/09637214231217663.
Koessler, Raphael, et al. "A Systematic Review of Love." Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 2023.
"Study Refutes Concept of Love Languages." The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 21 Aug. 2023, https://www.psychiatrist.com/news/study-refutes-concept-of-love-languages/.
Web Articles:
"The Psychology Behind the 5 Love Languages." University of Arizona Global Campus, 24 Jan. 2022, https://www.uagc.edu/blog/the-psychology-behind-the-5-love-languages.
"Meet the Author: Gary Chapman." Equipping the Church, https://equippingthechurch.com/post/meet-the-author-gary-chapman.
"The Love Languages Are a Hoax by a Southern Baptist Pastor." Medium, https://medium.com/belover/the-love-languages-are-a-hoax-by-a-southern-baptist-pastor-cc9cd0e4b340.
"Dr. Gary Chapman Speaks at Chamber Breakfast: All You Need Is Love." Salisbury Post, 28 Jan. 2018, https://www.salisburypost.com/2018/01/28/dr-gary-chapman-speaks-at-chamber-breakfast-all-you-need-is-love/.
"Gary Chapman’s Secret Fame: The Five Love Languages." Christianity Today, Sep. 2021, https://www.christianitytoday.com/2021/09/gary-chapman-secret-fame-five-love-languages/.
5 Love Languages. https://www.5lovelanguages.com
Dr. Raquel Martin, Ph.D. @raquelmartinphd. Instagram, https://www.instagram.com/raquelmartinphd/reel/Cwd1em2MnYv/.
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